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The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, April 29, 1906, Image 16

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E. W. BAHKRli. Editor
Entered at the Birmingham. Ala., post
office aa second-class matter under act
of Congress March 8, 1871.
Dally and Sunday Age-Herald.W 00
Dally and Sunday, per month. -TO
Sunday Age-Herald, per annum.200
Weekly Age-Herald, per annum. * 00
Subscription payable In advance.
1- H. Russ and J. F. Keeley are the
only authorised traveling representatives
of The Age-Herald in Its * circulation de
No communication will be published
without its author’s name. Rejected man
uscripts will not be returned unless
•tamps are enclosed for that purpose.
Remittances can be made at current
rate of exchange. The Age-Herald will
not be responsible for mon*y sent through
the mails. Address
Birmingham. Ala.
Eastern business office, rooms 48 to 50.
Inclusive, Tribune building, New 7ork
City; western business office, Tribune
building, Chicago. The S. C. Beckwith
Special Agency, agents foreign acvertis
Ing. _
Washington Bureau Age-Herald 141T G
street, N. W.
To bed, to bed; sleep kill those pretty
And give as soft attachment to thy
As infants empty of all thought.
—Troilus and Cressida.
Southern Methodists.
On Thursday next the fifteenth
general conference of the Methodist
Episcopal church, south, will convene
In this city. The church south is now
slxty-two years old, but Methodism
was established in this country 160
years ago, when a church was erected
on Sam's creek, In Caroll county,
Maryland. The secession of the
church south was consummated In
Louisville in 1844. The vote on sep
aration stood 04 yeas and 3 nays. The
war between the sections was brew
ing, and the separation of the Meth
odists into two parts was an Incident
of slavery times.
The fifteenth conference that will
meet here on Thursday will represent,
according to Dr. H. K. Carroll, 1,556,
728 members plus the growth of a
year. There are 15,884 churches and
6438 ministers in the southern church.
In the country there are 6,256,738
Methodists, or about, one million more
than there are Baptists. Among Prot
estants the Methodists and Baptists
lead all the rest.
The conference will contain about
teO delegates, made up of the bishops
of the church, and clerical and lay
delegates from the various confer
ences. The working force of the great
church—its vigor and eloquence—will
be here, and the expectation Is that,
many great questions will be brought
before the fifteenth general confer
ence. Some want the terms of min
isters extended from four years to a
longer period; others desire changes
in the ritual of the church, and some
memorials will call for a restatement
of the General Rules written by John
Wesley himself. Four or five bishops
are to he elected, and altogether the
conference will do well if it succeeds
In clearing its calendar for final ad
journment at the end of May.
San Francisco’s Chinatown.
In the heart of Old San Francisco,
covering ten contiguous blocks, stood
Chinatown. The earthquake and the
fire destroyed it root and branch. A
few holes in the ground is all that is
left to tell where the Chinese settle
ment once stood.
It will never stand there again, and
already a syndicate of Chinese mer
chants are planning to build a uew
Chinese city on the coast near, but not
in, San Francisco. The scheme is al
ready well started, and a Bite will soon
"he purchased. ,
The Chinese are more sinned against
than sinning. They furnish no beg
gars, no tramps. They are industrious,
prudent and temperate. 'The word of
their merchants Is as good as their
bond. From the ranks of the every
day workers are drawn excellent serv
ants, successful truck raisers, apd
clever fishermen. It Is a race that
presents in »u unfavorable environ
ment many good qualities. In the
south the regret Is that the exclusion
lawr is so rigid it will not permit more
to come in. If the question were sub-,
mitted to southern votes the exclusion
law would be largely modified. San
Francisco is, however, opposed to any
change, but when the new Chinatown
is built without the walls, so to speak,
perhaps it will he possible to get. a
law that is not wholly unjust to the
Chinese people. No one desires to see
this country flooded with Chinese, hut
. the south would bo glad to furnish em
ployment to a considerable number of
East Park’s Statue.
The voluntary unsolicited subscrip
tions to a fund for the erection of a
memorial to Mary Cahal iu are coming
in rapidly, and when the pupils of each
year in the great teachers career are
seen the fund will assuredly assume
r,efficient, ever handsome, proportions.
Her career was so exceptional in
ateadfut and unqualified altruism, (his
city, and especially the boys and gills
that she trained and Inspired, cannot
well do less than to erect, a statue to
her memory cut in enduring Alabama
marble by the best artist within reach.
When that statue is unveiled In East
Park, it will not be a difficult tusk on
the part of the women of Birmingham
to induce the Mayor and Aldermen to
call the little park hereaftor the Calm
lan park. Let the change In name
await tho Installation of tho statue. If
that, la acceptable, tho proposed change
will follow readily.
The task in hand is to secure the
sum needful lo present for the good
of all an excellent likeness In marble
of one who strove year in and year
out for children. Tho brain force and
nerve force that she expended in the
course of twenty-five years of educa
tional work can never be estimated In
I lack and white, hut a statue set In a
park that carries her honored name
would be a constant reminder to all
passers-by that a life consecrated to
children cannot pass away without
some degree of appreciation.
Passing of the Veterans.
The recent reunion at New Orleans
recalls the fact that the veterans of
the civil war will soon pass away. The
heroic deeds they wrought will live as
long as the republic does, and perhaps
even longer, but in a few years the last
soldier of the greatest civil struggle
in the history of the world will have
gone to his reward.
It is estimated that 450,000 Confed
erate soldiers survived the war. out of
a total enrollment, of 600,000 men. The
north put 2,750,000 soldiers in the field,
of whom 2,500,000 came out of the war
alive. The Jacksonville Times-Unlon
lakes these figures, and by applying to
them the rules of insurance tables it
constructs a table of survival by ten
year periods of the veterans, as fol
Year. Percent. Southern. Northern.
1906 . 50.67 228*010 1.266,750
1916 .24.X9 112,005 622,250
1926 . 4.60 20,700 115,000
1936 . 05 225 1,250
The old soldiers will soon be but a
small percentage of the population,
and this sad but inevitable fact should
not he lost sight of in the Alabama
legislature when it meets next, winter
and proceeds to consider the claims of
tne old soldiers. At present there are
15,140 pensioners on the state's rolls.
They received pensions ranging from
$60 down to $30—to all $462,620 was
paid in the fiscal year ended Septem
ber 30 last. Pensioners of the fourth
class receive but $30 a year, and nearly
all the men on the rolls are In that
Pennants Past and Future.
The New Orleans team won the
^Southern league pennant last year on
a percentage of 65.1, while Montgomery
with a percentage of 673 was second
to it. In the American league no pen
nant winner has ever reached at the
end a percentage of 650, except Bos
ton In 1903, when a percentage of 659
was recorded. More pennants have
been won under 650 than over it, and
history is apt to repeat itself even in
baseball. The teams in the Southern
league are of evener merit than had a
month ago been expected. The Mem
phis team has been materially strength
ened, and Utile Rock is to he put on
a stronger footing, and Nashville is
coming out finely. The team that has
a. percentage of 650 in September will
have a right to expect the highest
honor of the league
AVhat is the outlook In cold figures
of the Birmingham team?
It has won fourteen games out of
Bixteen played. It Is scheduled to play
twenty-four games "on the road,” play
ing with all the teams In the league
except Nashville. It will probably play
twenty of the twenty-four games, the
other four being either tied games or
else games postponed by wet weather.
'••• y.* * t
If the home team should win ten of
the twenty games, it would return to
play a long series on the home grounds,
and its percentage at the outset of the
home series would he 667. That is a
winning percentage under such cir
cumstances, and that is all that need
be said on that, point at this writing.
General Porter wants the money ap
propriated to reimburse him for hts
expenditures in searching for the body
of John Paul Jones added to the cost
of the hero’s crypt. General Porter is
Jhe right sort. •
Castro has turned his country over
to his understudy, but this country
would buck severely if President
Roosevelt should beckon Understudy
Fairbanks to come in and get warm.
The Boston Globe says that Hobson
is running for Congress down iu Ala
bama, but hasn't begun kissing the
babies yet. The esteemed Globe should
wake up. Hobson is elected.
Poultney Bigelow is coming back
from the isthmus loaded with facts
and pictures that he proposes to flro
into Secretary Taft, who is an excel
lent and abundant target.
Speaker Cannon’s homfe papers aro
pushing him for President, and there
is a suspicion that their articles are
not wholly lacking in inspiration.
Marriage licenses are in demand in
San Francisco. Love laughs at earth
quakes. locksmiths and stern parents.
The straw hat is no longer tentative.
The campaign contributors anti the
tariff beneficiaries—In many cases me
and the same—are organizing to elect
another Congress that will stand pat
and pigeonhole publicity.
French republicanism does not dif
fer greatly from the Russian article.
Suppression of opposition by the Big
Stick is Article One of both.
M. O. is becoming active and ag
gressive in Meridan, this being the
first appearance of the Chicago doc
trine this year in the south.
President Kavanattgh does not in
tend to let the Southern league lapse
into rowdyism. He can be trusted to
stand for clean, good sport.
San Francisco will try to build a
town that can neither be shakeu nor
burned down. Japan accomplishes the
former, but not the latter.
Congressman Underwood desires to
retain Germany’s trade. She buys more
of our products than any other coun
try, England excepted.
It looks like business when a con
tract Is awarded for hauling 20,000 cars
of cement to New Orleans for the Pan
ama canal.
.Judge Humphrey will not be appoint
ed to the Brown vacancy on the bench
of the supreme court—at least not,
♦ his year.
The Interests that get the largest
rake-offs out of Dtngleylsm say there
shall be no revision of that sacred in
Chicago is being snowed under by
eggs from the west. Fortunately, the
majority of them are fresh and un
The autobus in London supplants
stages and keeps out trolley cars, but
it furnishes more odors than are agree
Now Oakland is trying to steal the
commercial supremacy of San Fran
cisco. It is unsisterly, to say the least.
The First Methodist church will
after today be headquarters for the
church south, the church militant.
if the muck rake is to he abolished,
muck will accumulate, and the supply
already exceeds the demand.
Vesuvius notv has a mouth nearly a
mile wide, but a wide mouth is never
considered a good feature.
Edwin M. Stanton gave Andrew' Car
negie a start, in life. It must havo
been a good one.
A person can now own and smoke a
cigarette in Indiana, blit it is not yet
safe to sell one.
A corset company in New York lias
increased its capitalization, but not its
waist measures.
General Funston got the glory and
General Greely will do the' work, of
the disaster.
The plutocrats are giving one min
ute’s income to the homeless in San
Knives were used in a class rush at
an Ohio school. That is indeed going
(oo fur.
Both Cunningham and Comer are in
a mood to agree that joint debates are
Sioux Falls thinks there are harder
things to bear in this world than earth
From the Birmingham Times.
L. B. Musgrove of Walker is tho Mark
Hanna in Alabama democratic politics.
From the Atlanta Journal.
Strange how delusions strike baseball
teams. The Birmingham club is laboring
under the delusion that it is the Now
York Giants club, while our Atlanta
bunch is laboring under tlie delusion that
it is tho Brooklyn outfit.
Writing In Harper's for May of a re
cent return to Mexico after an absence
of twenty years. Mr. Thomas A. Janvier
describes delightfully the many wonder
ful changes in the City of Mexico.
"Seriously disconcerting was my discov
ery, on my first Sunday, that the church
parade on San Francisco—an ancient In
stitution of the capital—had lost its most
entrancing distinction from church par
ades elsewhere. In the days thaf~n*«e dear
to my memory, the ornate youth of the
city lined up against the house fronts—
with the look of uncapped caryatides—and
along the narrow pavement in front of
them tlie ladies of the city streamed
homeward from the churches clad In
seemly black of a richness and wearing
on their heads black lace mantillas; a
garb in which the plainest of women be
comes a bewitchment, and that so rav
ishingly enhances the beauty of a beau
tiful woman as to make her seem a land
fall in the latitude of dreams! The par
ade still goes on. The young men still
stand in their caryatide row; and still
(very handsomely, I think, under the ex
isting conditions) look, and even speak
their admiration as the ladies still stream
past them—but lhe ladies no longer wear
black, and their grace-giving mantillas
are gone! To their undoing, they are
clad in silks of dynamic colorings, not
always harmonized; and upon tlielr un
happy heads are the hideously huge hats
of the period—and the result of casting
aside a beautiful racial dress for an ugly
passing fashion is so disastrous that to
comment upon it would be not less un
gallant than unkind. To find the women
of Mexico thus helping in the hapless
work of tiprooting ancient customs—and
in a manner so conspicuously to their
own disadvantage—was my most painful
From the New York Press.
Lots of people would get up to see the
sun rise If they could bet on it.
The dangerous thing about getting en
gaged to a girl Is you may have to marry
There is something about baseball that
makes a man awful glad he doesn’t care
for grand opera.
No matter how muoh a man loves a
woman. It is better for him to tell her
he loves her more.
Generally a woman keeps the pair of
slippers she wore at her first ball along
with her love letters.
Notable Church Trial.
"The Rev. Dr. A. S. Crapsey, rector of
St. Andrew’s Episcopal church, Rochester,
N. Y., is, from all accounts^ one of the
best and most highly esteemed men. but
he no longer believes in certain of the
fundamental doctrines of the communion
to which he belongB," remarked a church
man, "and I cannot understand why he
does not withdraw from the Episcopal
ministry. He has just been tried by a
church court for heresy, or rather for a
violation of his ordination vows, and ttye
verdict will soon be known. Dr. Crapsey
does not believe in the virgin birth of
Christ and other things contained in the
apostle's creed. I have known many
skeptics and have felt that this is an age
of unbelief. Therefore I am not startled
to find many of my friends refusing <o
accept the doctrines set forth in the form
ulars of the various Trinitarian
churches. But a minister who recites the
old creeds and then says he does not be
lieve in the statements set forth in these
symbols plainly stultifies himself. It is
so easy to resign and get out and not
scandalize th^ church of which one is a.
member, that I do not see why there
should be any hesitancy In the matter.
"While the Anglican communion is
noted for its ‘broadness,’ having within its
fold men of different views—evangelicals,
ritualists and ‘higher criticism' folks, the
vast majority have accepted literally the
apostles’ creed."
Birmingham’s Amusements.
“Birmingham is getting to be a good
amusement center,” said a citizen last
| “The skating auditorium is a popular
resort and another large rink is being
put up at East Lake. In addition to the
skating rink at East Lake, the Casino
and many other amusement enterprises,
a circle swing has been added. This will
prove one of the most attractive fea
tures of the park.
The Bijou lias been doing a fine busi
ness lately, a street carnival has been
in progress, we have had three tent shows
recently and numerous other forms of
entertainment. In fact one can take his
choice of half a dpzen places to go al
most any night In the week.”
Concerning Fashions.
“It is rather remarkable to me,” said ,
a young man last night, “the power
which fashion has over one’s ideas of
beauty In things generally, and particu
larly wearing apparel.
“Now just two years ago young men
who had little respect for dame fashion,
wouldn't think of buying a coat which
tills spring we would consider the proper
length, and If he braved publicity, wear
ing an unfashionable garment, no one
would think it smart. If a man were to
wear a suit of clothes to church made
in the style everybody admired two years
ago, I’ll wager not a half dozen men
in town would think it becoming. The
same principle applies to every piece of
clothing. Tlie high collars we wore and
considered becoming not so long ago, we
j consider bad style now. Look at a plc
j ture taken several years ago—the dif
ference In style is quite noticeable, and
the remarkable point to me is, every
year we think the prevailing style, is
the best.”
“Somehow the fish arc not biting well
this year,” said a man who knows an eel
when he sees one. “I suppose the w’ater
is still too cold. Next month will, how
ever, be a season of great delight for all
disciples of Isaak Walton. The rod and
line and the can of bait will be much in
“Fishing is an art. It requires skill and
patience—much of both. The chief pleas
ure to be derived from Ashing is its uncer
tainty. You never know when you are
going to get a bite. Then, when you have
hooked a lively fellow', the opportunity to
play with him until he surrenders appeals
to the latent, lingering Impulses of the
savage which lie hidden within us.
“The chief advantage offered by Ashing
Is calm. Nothing soothes a ruffled mind
and dissipates carking care so effectually
as a day or a half-day of Ashing on some
pleasant stream or lake, where offensive
man is limited to ourselves. There Is
nothing that surpasses angling as a seda
tive. It is part and parcel of the simple
life and has been held in esteem since the
most remote times."
Ben Greet May Come.
Mr. Hardy, representing Ben Greet, tlie
noted English actor-manager, is in Bir
mingham relative to the appearance here
of his players in some Shakespearean
“The fame of Mr. Greet's work,” said
Mr. Hardy last night, “has hardly reach
ed outside artistic and educational cir
cles. but among these people lie is looked
upon as a high-priest. Mr. Greet Arst
came to America three seasons ago pre
senting the old morality play “Everyman,’
w'hich caused an enormous stir in dram
atic circles on account of its great lit
erary merit and the beauty of its per
formance. Following this a revival of
many of Shakespear’s plays was under
taken. Here again unusual interest was
aroused, for Mr. Greet presented the plays
as written, and without changes of scene
ry; without Interruptions or rearrange
ments of the text.
“I am here with introductions to a num
ber of prominent people. No deAnite ar
rangements have been made; but an out
of-door performance of “As You Like Tt"
at the country club is being discussed, and
possibly one play at the High school.
Mr. Greet has given these performances
for years at Oxford and Cambridge and
in the past two seasons in all our groat
New Idea.
"1 have a new idea about a site for
Vulcan." said a member of the Commer
cial dub.
"How would the top of the Brown-Marx
building do'.’ The elevation would be
sufficient lo smooth over Ilia roughness
and give him a grand appearance. The
location is central, and would suit those
who want him placed In the city. The
derrick is now in position to pick up
the iron man and place him right up in
the air. Think it over. Why not?"
About Persons.
W. B. Burton of Brookside is stop
ping at the St. Nicholas.
• • *
S. P. Rainer, Jr., of 1'nion Springs is
registered at the Morris.
• • •
F. F. Bas*s of Helena i« at the Mor
• • •
L. P. Hill, editor of the Knsley Kn
, F is. ■
terprise, has returned from New Or
leans, where he attended the Confed
erate reunion,
• • •
Charles R. Dalbey of New Orleans*w;is
in Woodlawn on Friday, attending the
funeral of his brother, Frank Dalbey.
• • •
Captain R. C. Couch of Bell Buckle,
Tenn., is visiting his daughter, Mrs. H.
E. Dalbey, 5901 First avenue.
« • m
The register of the .Metropolitan shows
the names of the following Alabama visi
tors: C. P. Jones and wife of Cullman,
W. F. Cooper of Gadsden, W. K. Barnett
of Mobile, and Fred Gyr of Jasper.
• • •
p. Gaines of Tuscaloosa is stopping at
the Hillman.
• • •
F. Marshall and wife of Montgomery
are registered at the Birmingham.
# • *
J. W. Day of Marburg is at. the St.
• • •
G. Fred Allen of Tuscaloosa is at the
Washington PoBt: Captain Hobson
must be given credit for pluck, at least.
_____ *
Cordova News: Captain Hobson had a
much easier job sinking Bankhead than
he did the Merrimac.
New York Herald: ]f Hobson will only
“bottle up” some members of Congress
his election will be of benefit to the coun
Florida Times-Union: Hobson will now
be in position to make some of his old
superiors in the navy dance when he
Columbus Enquirer-Sun: Gratifying
news is received to the effect that Hob
son does not propose to revolutionize the
methods of Congress.
Gadsden Times-News: Hobson's sinking
of the collier Merrimac was a mere bag
atelle compared with his torpedoing of
the battleship “Bankhead.’’
Alexander City Outlook: Tom Heflin
will no longer be known as “Kid" of the
Alabama delegation in Congress. Cap
tain Hobson of Merrimac fame will be
the youthful star of the next Congress. *
Gadsden Journal: Already Captain Hob
son's friends are talking him for the Sen
ate. This is working the hero too fast.
Hobson is still young and 'will do well
to make good on his present job before
hurrying to the next one.
Baltimore American: Captain Hobson
has been nominated for Congress from
his district In Alabama. If he succeeds
in reaching Congress unkissed he may
make a record as a legislator. In his
career as a naval hero osculation was
the thief of fame.
Scottsboro Progressive Age: While we
regret to see Mr. Bankhead leave Con
gress, we rejoice that Alabama's dis
tinguished young naval hero has been
signally honored by the people of his
district, and we firmly believe that he
will make his mark in Congress as he
has wherever he has been placed.
,Sumter County Call: While Mr. Bank
head was defeated in the race for Con
gress. we venture if he should choose to
announce himself for alternate senator,
there is not a man In the race that would
poll a stronger vote on the 27th of next
August than Capt. John H. Bankhead.
Coosa River NGwb: What does Hobson
stand for? He stands for every policy
that promises to elevate the republic to
[ the top of the heap both in power, pro
gress and prosperity. Not only that, but
he desires peace among the nations of
the earth and wants the United States
of America to be potential enough to en
force peace, when necessary.
Augusta Tribune: Hobson is a real hero,
but he Is more than that. He is a very
able man. In various ways he has demon
started his ability. As naval constructor
he accomplished great things, so that the
government tried its best to hold him in
the service. As a lecturer he has won
national f$me, in a field in which intel
lectual giants contend. In action and in
thinking this young Alabamian Is one
of the great men of the times.
Springfield Republican: Record must at
last be made of the fact that Captain
Hobson has broken into Congress, by way
of the Sixth Alabama district, represent
ed for almost twenty years by Mr. Bank
head. The democratic primaries, whose
verdict is equivalent to an election, have
declared that the hero shall be given
his innings In statesmanship. Hobson
still stands for a $250,000,000 navy, designed
to "lick all creation." But he may find
the House a much tougher proposition
i than the Spanish fleet.
Richmond News-Leader: Lieutenant
Hobson's curcer in Congress will be
w'atched with curious interest. He has
maintained so much courage and
strength, so much weakness, so much
ability and so much folly, that everybody
will want to know what kind of a man
will be developed finally from all these
contradictions. Therefore, we are glad
that Mr. Hobson will be kept In the pub
lic eye and that the voters of his district
have given him the opportunity to show
and the country the opportunity to see
what is in him after all.
Glad That Hobaon Will Help Share
Public Interest.
Washington Correspondent of the Fitts
butrgr Dispatch.
It is with a good deal of satisfaction
that Representative Nicholas Longworth
noted the nomination of Capt. Richmond
Pearson Hobson to succeed Mr. Bank
head In Congress.
When Mr. Hobson gets here Longworth
will not be the only man the citizens from
the back country will ask to have pointed
out to them. Longworth believes Hob
son will divide the public attention.
It would not bother Longworth a bit
if other districts should take a notion
to send their heroes to Washington as
Coming to Congress will be a severe
task upon Hobson. He Is a reformer.
He wants to reform the attitude of Con
gress toward the navy. He wants to
show Congress. That's bad. Congress
doesn't like to be shown. It Is well satis
tied with Rself. Therefore, when Hobson
gets here he will probably bo made to
realize that there's a lieup of difference
botween platform speaking and the ora
tory that Congress will stand for by fol
lowing the advice of the orator.
^ well-dressed men met on a
\Vy quiet street. They glared at each
■ other a moment and then both
whipped out revolvers. Thick and fast
the bullets rained. Puffs of smoke rose
or the air and floated away in the tree
tops, until one of the combatants fell to
the ground, writhing In agony. But he
was not dead. The spirit of fight was
still dominant within his breast. Painful
ly drawing another pistol from his hip
pocket, the wounded man again opened
fire on his adversary who had received
a bullet In his right forearm and was
now using his left hand to empty a sec
ond revolver. A shot through the stom
ach also brought him low'. The two men
were now lying on the ground shooting
venomously. Their weapons again ex
hausted, they crawled slowly toward each
other. The man with a shattered arm
held a knife In his left hand, the other
man, faint from loss of blood, exhibited
a stiletto, wrhile his eyes betrayed a dead
ly look. Their arms rose and fell in
the gory fray, slower and slower the
blows descended, w'eaker and weaker the
two combatants grew, until both sank on
the ground dead. A beautiful young
woman rushed up and clasped one of the
men in ther arms, sobbing convulsively.
Is it a mortal tragedy we are telling you
about, Phyllis? No! Is it a fight for love
and honor? No!! Is it a joke? No!!!
The participants in this affair were hired
to enact a tragedy for a moving picture
machine. A man is operating a camera
near by and when the films are ready
they will be shown in family theatres.
Old Washington will wake up when
Young Hobson hits t'he town,
All covered o’er wdth kissing fame
And Merrimac renown.
Excitement will disrupt the House,
The Senate will allow
Itself to be entangled in
The universal row.
The ladies will come out in force
To see what man is he
That hath so many projects tried
To wdn celebrity.
The gallery for visitors
Will scarcely hold the \ crush,
And when the gallant Hobson talks
The veterans will hush.
The guides will point him out each day—
Our Nick will step aside,
Altho the nation’s bridegroom who
Took Alice for a bride.
The captain will be all the show, i
The echo of his fame
Will make the mighty Theodore
Seem commonplace and tame.
Yes, he will make a record there—
What kind Is hard to say,
But we may count upon him to
Do something, any way.
He may not bluff the big wide world
With Yankee sailor boys,
But as a congressman, you bet,
He’ll make a lot of noise.
It’s very hard sometimes to convince a
girl that you met her last summer.
One of the crudest remarks ever made
about Shakespeare Is t'hat of a central
western paper which says that if he
were living now he would be 342 years
old and would probably be a citizen of
A mild odor can still be detected rising
from the insurance companies.
While it is probably true that the
President’s muck rake speech gave John
Bunyan’s ‘’Pilgrim’s Progress’’ a great
boom, mere money can’t do John any
good now.
When summer evenings roll around
And many folks perspire
We’ll see some moving pictures of
The San Francisco fire.
It Is surprising ihow much a maiden
lady of uncertain age can know about
rearing children. Some of her treatises
on the subject lead one to believe that
children should be cultivated like cabbage.
While the spring is well advanced, it
did not prevent Secretary Shaw from
encountering a heavy frost in St. Louis.
Courage and Good Cheer make a fine
team. Suppose you try to entertain thegn
at your house.
Riding on a trolley car—
Yesterday—not very far.
Saw a pretty maid who smiled
In a way that soon beguile
My poor heart and mad© me think
That I’d take a chance and wink.
Didn’t vmrry her a bit—
Fact was. I had made a hit.
She continued watching me.
Both eyes dancing full of glee.
Tiir my brain was in a whirl
Just because of that sweet girl.
Reached my street—I had to go.
Really hated to, you know.
Passing by the maid, I chucked
Her beneath the chin and clucked.
Maybe you think I was bold?
She was only four years old.
After you had made up your mind to
commit suicide and you had shot at your
self and missed, wouldn’t it disjiist you
to be arrested by a policeman and fined
Pittsburg women want to fly in balloons.
They can fly high without getting off the
The Atlanta Journal says, “A poet
has written, ‘I am saddest when I sing.’
So are th$ people who 'hear him sing,’’
That makes it unanimous.
In taking off your vest, my boy,
It’s better to go alow.
Oh. don't expose your manly breast
While chilly breezes blow.
A poet speaks of what a woman can
do and a woman can dare. Let it go at
Uncle Joe: “I’d rather be me time
It appears that the richest woman in
Milwaukee cannot read. Even the vul
gar rich in funny papers can do that
In Philadelphia, spring they bless,
Because it brings lethargicness.
In Boston, when the warm winds greet,
The boys read Ibsen on the street.
Milwaukee’s glad that spring is here
It brings its crop of red bock beer.
In Louisville, when daisies burst.
The “Kernal” whets his julep thirst.
Springtime to Gotham brings a smile,
Fresh paint and fizz at Coney Isle.
—B. & O. Book of the Royal Blue.
In Washington spring shows us that
Standpatters still are standing pat.
To Cleveland spring brings little glee;
Lajoie still has a crippled, knee.
St. Louis bears the call of spring, ,
And then keeps right on slumbering.
To Pittsburg when glad spring arrives
Debt-haunted earls come seeking wives.
Beneath her dismal, smoky pall
Chicago has no spring at all.
—Chicago Record-Herald
Atlanta welches spring out loud.
It's Coca-Cola for the crowd.
But In Montgomery, forsooth,
Spring falls asleep, and that’s the truth.
In gay New Orleans the spring
Puts stegomyias on the -wing .
In Houston folks say. “Spring is here,’’
Exchanging whisky for cold beer.
In dear old Birmingham the spring
Makes fans predict ’most anything.
From the Springfield Republican.
Sjr HE death of John Knowles Paine,
((£*) tlie first professor of music in
university faculty In this coun
try, and one of the eldest, as certainly
one of the best of scholarly composers,
is to be recognized with sincere and even
profound grief. Mr. Paine was but 67
years old, and he was busy upon a com
position of which much was expeoted in
beauty, dignity and historic importance.
It was a symphony whose theme was
the character and career of Abraham
Lincoln. Largely with the purpose of
writing this symphony did Professor
Paine resign ills chair, not yet a year
ago, and he had without doubt worked
upon it so as to jot down ids main
themes, but how raiioh actual elaborate
composition he has covered is not known.
He died of pneumonia at this home in
Paine was torn In Portland, Me., Jan
uary 9, 1839. and wae dedicated to a musi
cal life; was well taught In Maine by a
German musician, and at 18 he had be
come a. good organist, and had written
some small compositions. Then he went
to Berlin; studied the organ, played the
great instrument in public, and gained
in ids three years abroad some repute
ns one of the brotherhood of the organ.
That was his standing when he returned
to the United States In 1861, and he in
| flueneed strongly the vogue of the Ger
man school. Due to him, as well as to
John Sullivan Dwight. Alexander W.
Thayer and others of German teaching,
was the purchase of the great dValcker
organ that was for so many years In
Music hall the distinction of musical
Boston, and of the Handel and Haydn
festivals. He brought fo this country
Bach and his disciples—a boon for which
wc owe him gratitude. He began Ills
teaching at Harvard college in 1862, first
of all to establish music as a branch of
academic study, and lie retained this emi
nence; passing very slowly—very sluggish
was the conversion of the college authori
ties—from instructor in a half-ashamed
way, to “assistant professor” in 1873, and
only In 1875 professor. He was alone In
his work, practically until the recent ap
pointment of two assistant professors and
an "assistant In music." W. R. Spauld
ing will probably succeed to his Chair.
The number of students in tills, depart
ment now exceeds 200.
Prof. Paine cannot be called a great
musician, hut lie was a thorough musi
cal scholar, and as a teacher superior.
His works arc considerable In number, |
| but his chief one, the oratorio, "#t. P«
. 1
ter," first performed at Portland, Me„
In 1873, and next by the Handel and
Haydn In Boston, the following year,
was not stirred by the electric vigor of
originality. His symphony In C minor,
first performed In 1876 by Theodore
Thomas, was highly praised, and remains
his greatest work. He composed the
Centennial hymn to Whittier's words, for
the opening of the great exposition In
Philadelphia. The same year he wrote
“As You Like It," overture; the next
year a symphonic poem, Shakespeare's
"Tempest;” "I>uo Concertante," for vio
lin and 'cello with orchestra (1878), and
"A Spring Symphony" (1880)—the latter a
favorite work In Germany as well as 111
Some of his best compositions are inci
dental musio to renderings of Greek plays
performed in Sanders theater at Cam
bridge by the Harvard students; the
"Oedipus Tyrannus of Sophocles" and the
final scenes of the "Birds” of Aristo
phanes. The Oedipus music ihas been re
garded as "a work of wonderful sublim
ity,” and when it was performed at tftu
international concert at the Wagner fes
tival at Berlin, in the fall of *1903, it won
a triumph. Among his other writings
may be mentioned the cantata. 'Phoebus,
Arise,” words by Drummond of Haw
thomden (1882); Keats' "Realm of Fancy,"
for chorus, quartet, and orchestra (1882);
Milton's "Nativity," for chorus, solos and
orchestra, composed for the Handel and
Haydn festival in Boston (1S83), and con
sidered one of his highest achievements;
symphonic poem, "An Island Fantasy"
(1887); ‘Song of Promise." a cantata, com
posed for the Cincinnati festival. May.
1888; Columbus march and hymn, Com
posed by official Invitation for the open
ing ceremonies of the world's Columbian
exposition (1892); Harvard hymn and na
tional hymn, 'Freedom Our Queen," and
the official "Hymn of the West." com
posed for the opening of the 8t. Louis ex
position, in 1904, and given by the Han
del and Haydn society of Boston, Febru
ary, 1905, with great enthusiasm.
From the Houston Post.
To think that two boys can fight for
fifteen minutes In front of * thte leading
hotel of the city, and carry their battle
even across the street, causing wild
ly Interested spectators to blockade the
sidewalks and even Interfere with traf
fic in the center of the street, and not a
policeman near enough in all that time
to preserve order. It Is no wonder, that
robbers can enter homes In the residence
district in daylight, when fltlcH thdigs can
occur at high noon in Uia very heart of
the city.
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