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Entered nt the ttlctuhighnnu AlMn
ofTJoe ns seenrtd--elft*3 Vnattef Under act
of Congress March 3, ISfth
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Give me an ounce of civet, good
apothecary, to sweeten my Imagina
tion; there's money for thee.
Morgan and Pettus.
The newspapers of the country are
extending felicitations to Senator John
1. Morgan, who recently passed the
eighty-second mile-stone in his journey
of life. All are unanimous in their
expressions of good-will. Joined with
the wish that he may continue in
health and spirits for a number of
years to come. TI1I3 tribute of the
press is a striking testimonial to the
esteem in which Senator Morgan Is
While in some parts of the country
Senator Morgan's gallant light for the
Nicaragua canal and his unceasing
vigilance in the interest of all that per
tains to the south may be dubbed ex
tremism, and while some of his views
may not meet with endorsement in
tbpse quarters where antagonistic
opinions prevail, the truth remains
that no man In public life today is
more generally popular than Senator
John T. Morgan. He shares along with
his distinguished collague, Senator E.
W. Pettus, an affectionate regard that
is not. limited to national boundary
Senator Pettus has been slightly in
disposed for several days and has been
unable to attend to his duties in the
Senate, but uo fears are entertained
by Ills physician, it is said, and lie will
probably resume his seat in a short
Alabama lias produced 110 greater
men than John Tyler Morgan and Ed
mund Winston Pettus.
Facts from Yale College.
The Yale senior statistics show lie
yond successful contradiction that suc
cessful scholarship comes to those who
spend $731 a year, while those who
spend $1244 have to accept a low stand
in scholarly attainments. The spender
may have a high standing in football
or the like, but in scholarship he Is
below par. This is a matter of aver
ages at Yale, and the inquiry naturally
arises, must the rich rank below the
poor Intellectually throughout life?
They certainly do at Yale, and if the
college be a test and an Indication of
afterlife the poor boy will get n maxi
mum of culture while the son of the
rich will secure but a minimum.
But after all, neither will receive at
Yalo much real culture. Thai conies
later to the few who know what they
want and bow to get it. The Young
man at Yale or any other college gets
social advantages, forms close friend
ships anil maintains a connection that
helps him in various ways to get on in
life. As a rule lie soon sheds bis col
This Is when the boy who spends
at Yale $1244 a year with bis “low
stand” catches tip with the boy who
liaB a high stand because he spent but
$731 a year. After all, averages are
poor things to depend upon when the
truth Is needed. Individuality counts
for something out of college at any
rate, and the generalizations that
have been drawn from Yale senior
statistics are of little value. They sim
ply show that the young man at col
lege who had little money felt impelled
to get the worth of it, while lie who
bad much became careless. It does
r.ot follow that the difference will last
to the end of their respective days.
Revolution in Russia.
Russia seems to he drifting straight
to a dreadful crisis. The Emperor is
weal; and vascillattng. He stands be
tween the bureaucracy which appears
Incapable of seeing the things It does
not want to see, and the people repre
sented by an inflexible and stalwart
duma. The duma can wring nothing
more from the nobles and the bureauc
racy In general, but it hopes to hold
out until the time comes for the sum
mer adjournment, and In the mean
while It is educating the masses and
filing the minds of the peasants with
dream* of lands and the like. It is
almost as radical as the states general,
and it has (he courage of its convic
tions. It Is, in fact, ft remarkable
The difference between today in
Russia and 1780 111 France is not great
except in the respect of the army, T)l«
army in France went over to the peo
ple, deserting the unfortunate French
King in the outset of the struggle for
liberty, The army drawn from the
masses will do likewise, but it will not
do so as readily and hs speedily us the
French army did, If It should, the
struggle between the bureaucracy and
the people in Russia would soon be de
cided, But Russia Is n vast country
and the army hesitates, and no doubt
a good deal of time will lie consumed
in transferring power from the bureau
crats to the people. The work will be
accomplished, but the duma will not
do It. The duma is simply a step—a
course—in the education of the Rus
sian )tcople, and as such it is certainly
acting excellently and wisely. As u
revolutionary body it is filling Russia
with ideas. It Is getting the country
ready for revolution. As a legislative
body it will, however, accomplish little
All the bureaucrats are not blind,
borne see clearly, and the few that do
are selling all they possess and are
getting out of the country. Tho ma
jority, however, will remain and they
will be engulfed in the revolution
which Is now about as certain as any
thing in this world can be.
Alabama Home Coming.
Alabama Is to liave a home-coming
week, and if hearty invitations, official
iind semi-official, are accorded the re
sponse they are likely to meet with,
October 16-20, the time set, will be
memorable In the slate's history. Bir
mingham is to receive the wanderers
with fitting exercises and thousands
of Alabamians now living in other
states will come and find a joyful wel
Several weeks ago The Age-Herald
suggested a movement looking to an
Alabama home-coming. Yesterday the
directors of the Commercial club of
this city acted with great unanimity
in giving the matter definite shape.
The Invitation from the cluh to Ala
bamians wheresoever dispersed to come
and pay the old state a visit, was both
spontaneous and cordial. And quickly
following the action of the club the
Mayor issued a ringing proclamation in
behalf of the city for a home coming
reunion at Birmingham. The Governor
has been asked to issue a similar proc
lamation in behalf of the state.
Birmingham is the natural center
for the home comers, and this city will
put on its best gala dress for the occa
sion. Since the wonderful success of
the Kentucky home coming, Virginia
and many other states have fallen in
line in issuing invitations to their dis
tant sons and daughters.
The Alabama State Pair will he held
here in October, and the week for the
home-coming celebration will be dur
ing the progress of the fair. Every
returning Alabamians will find a rev
elation in the phenomenal development
of the Birmingham district. He will
be glad to see the young city’s growth
and will catch the spirit and progress
animating this community. And despite
toils and bustle, the citizens of Bir
mingham will demonstrate their hos
pitality as never before. I^et every
Alalmmian outside the boundary keep
the home-coming date in mind and bo
ready to move on to Birmingham when
tile time comes.
A Big Vote Possible.
The finances of the state are In a
highly prosperous condition, and the
chances now are that the surplus at
the end of the fiscal year will be
nearly $400,000 in excess of the sur
plus of the previous year. ' And yet
expenses are heavier, but even in
creased disbursements do not keep
step with increased receipts in these
But the most remarkable Increase
in the table of receipts is that for polls.
The (otal for the current fiscal year
is $117,088, ns against $90,085 last
year. Here Is an Increase of 30 per
cent, and if it means a corresponding
increase In votes in the primary of
August 27, the people are keeping very
quiet about it, intending perhaps to
spring a surprise on some one.
In 1904 the registration consisted of
205,278 whites and 3054 negroes. If
these figures are to be increased 30 per
cent, or even one-half of that percent
age, the total voting strength will be
| carried to 240,000. and 150,000 votes
may be polled in the August primary.
In the stale primary of 1904 the vote
was but 97,000. A rise to 150,000 would
l be remarkable, but still It may be re
I corded. The registration of next month
will be an excellent indication of the
It is painful to contemplate what a tlg
| urc Nicholas l.ongsworth would cut if
ho were not traveling abroad as the
husband of the President's daughter.
It is announced that Alfonso stands a
good chance to escape assassination. The
news should make him feel chipper.
Premier Michaelson might have been
the president or Norway, but the grand
old man stood aside.
fllnee a Ins Angeles surgeon took tha
heart out »f a man, cleaned it and then
put it back again, there Is no part of the
human anatomy that science cannot safe
ly tamper with,
Alabama's home-earning Week needs a
slight push, and l he movement la
launehed, Tha Cdmmerciel ulub of Blr
inlnghanl should gel busy,
"Might as well try to control burglars
as I rusts," says William Jennings Bryan,
which lead* to tha conclusion that the
situation Is bad.
In addition to hi* tltlo of "Colonel,"
Henry Wnttoraon I* now a doctor. He
lauded an t.I,. D. during the excitement of
-—-1>» --- --—
The Km leer show* his wisdom in hesi
tating tv pay Csar Nic*hi»ULS a viett. I>eafth
1» too promiscuous for royalty In Rus
The dancing masters will be in a posi
tion to penalise a foul strike In the Im
The spring housecleaning In Packing
town come a trifle late, but better late
When labor la scarce and money Is
not. It 1b a sign that the country Is pros
Some authors have been singularly for
tunate In their choice of a place to rake
A great many young men have acquired
wives this month who never had one be
Mae Wood seems determined that Sen
ator Piatt shall not keep cool tills sum
John L. Sullivan is remaining on the
water wagon with surprising persistence.
Take your choice between being a con
gressman and riding on a railroad pass.
Rigo has had Ills Anger Insured for *25,
000. His whole life Is not worth the sum.
The huckleberry crop Is going into
pies and the pies are going Into us.
Wonder If the spelling reformers will
ever induce poets to spell it "luv.”
Norway now has a. "Fourth” that she
can celebrate once a year.
The Coreys are reconciled with the reg
ularity of a farewell tour.
Birmingham's baseball team continues
comfortably near the top.
There Is always room for one more in
the Bryan band wagon.
ThJ ice man and Old Sol are certainly
In a conspiracy.
Texas yields gracefully. Her favorite
son ca.n wait.
Nebraska is getting prouder of Bryan
COME HOME, BOYS.
From the Talladega Reporter.
We heartily endorse the suggestion of
The Age-Herald that Alabama have a
Home Coming week, and suggest the har
vest moon in October as the week.
Yes. a man might have to be persuaded
to go back to some states, but surely
not to Alabama. Hero the birds still sing,
the magnolias bloom once a year, and
the honeysuckles continue to trail the
Not only tills, the crops grow, the
wheels hum, hearts beat warm and true
and there Is no good reason for a fellow
not wishing to come hack, unless he Is
afraid he'll run up with a job.
No, don't wait for the hundredth anni
versary of the state In 1919, but let's all
join In and got the governor to call a
big Alabama meeting of homos and Are
eidee In October next, and have a love
fea« -t^iat beats a Methodist meeting:
Yes, boys, come 'home; your old mama
hasn't forgotten you; and when we say
hoys, of course that means doubly the
female slsterln' who have been enticed
away from bettor homes In Alabama.
Come home! The Reporter Invites you,
whether anybody else does, or not:
DIFFERENCE IN THEFTS.
Mother Who Beat Conductor Punished
Son for Taking Pennies.
From the New York Preys.
“Where’s Willie?” asked Mr. Spratt,
arriving home from business the other
“Oh. John.’’ replied Mrs. Spratt with a
troubled countenance, “something very,
very distressing happened today. I left
two cents lying on the dining room table
and Willie took it and went out to the
corner and bought candy w'ith it. I taxed i
him With the crime and he owned up. I
corrected him and sent him to bed. You !
must have a serious talk with him In the 1
morning. Oh! 1 am so distressed about j
Willie! I believe I should die, John really, '
if the boy grew up dishonest.” And Mrs.
Spratt wiped a tear out of her eye.
“Oh! I wouldn’t worry," soothingly re
plied the husband. 1 will talk to the
little sinner In the morning. Willie is
only six years old. you know, and most
children of that age are apt to yield easily
to temptation. Their ideas of right and
wrong are not firmly fixed as yet. But
what have you been doing today, love?”
“Oh. I have been shopping; and John,
the funniest thing happened. I rode all
the way up town in a surface car and It
didn’t cost me a cent. The conductor
never once asked me for my fare.”
“And did you offer It to him?”
“Of course not. goosie. It was his busi
ness to ask me for It. wasn’t It?”
| “Do you think that was quite—er—er
honest?” ventured John.
“Why. of course it was” tartly replied
I Mrs. Spratt. “What is the conductor
paid for, I should like to know? It isn't
my business to make him collect his fares,
“Well, now, In Willie's case,” ventured
the amused husband.
“Why, John, how can you talk so silly?”
rejoined his wife. “The cases are entire
ly different. You are absurd. Really l
don’t think men have their sense of right
and wrong any more firmly fixed than
children. If the conductor had asked me
for my fare I should have given it to him,
“Oli. yes, *centainly. Of course, my
dear,” replied John with a queer look in
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
From the New ^ork Press.
There is mighty little fun in paying for
it after you have had it.
A girl Is terribly reckless to wear pink
when she is getting sunburned.
It’s a mighty mean tnan that won't
lie to a child so as to help It to be happy
over Its belief in fairies.
The queerest thing is how many places
a rocking ckgjr van be in a dark room
at once to scrape your shins.
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Landslide for Gray.
'*Tho report* t hear throughout tho
state are to the effect that there will
he a landslide for Henry B, Gray for
lieutenant governor," said Bradley J.
Saumlers last evening, ‘‘I have been out
In the state during the past two weeks
and J have a number of traveling men
who report that the Sentiment In evory
county they have visited la overwhelming
"As a multor of fact Gray la one of the
ablest men In Alabama. Ho 1ms made a
success of his own affairs and would
make a success of the state s affairs. I am
for Gray, and 1 believe tho great ma
jority of the people of tho state are for
Gray. I believe In the man who has done
something for himself. Such a man will
bo a credit to the estate and will bo tho
choice of tho people.
Many Brick Daily.
"There are about 000,000 brick manu
factured in Birmingham dally," said Al
derman Simms yesterday "Of that num
ber about 600,000 are common brick and
the remainder are pressed brick, paving
brick and the white sand brick.
"Birmingham now equals any southern
odty In the number of brick manufac
tured. We make more than Memphis,
more than Columbus, as many as Chatta
nooga and as many as Augusta. Birming
ham Is therefore In the forefront and
the number of brick manufactured dally
"No pressed brick were made in Bir
mingham until recently, but now between
35,000 and 50,000 are turned out daily."
"This has been the hottest day we have
had this year, or rather the public In
general has suffered more from the heat
today than any other day this year,"
said the man behind the counter of a
soda water establishment last night.
"I have served more soft drinks today
1 believe than on any other day in many
months, and hundreds of people have com3
here and begged for 'just a glass of wa
‘‘The more people suffer from the heat |
tlie greater the amount of water and
soda wuter they want, and today has
been a record breaker. If it is not cooler
Sunday I believe that we will again do a
record breaking business The amount of
soda water sold is an excellent thermome
ter to indicate the heat."
"The Corona Coal and Iron company has
taken on new life, and is showing it by
their increased output, when they have
the coal cars to put it in," said a Walker
"On Thursday, June 21, Patton mine
tipped 1008 tons, which was the best day a
work ever done at that place. Coal Val
ley, heretofore, has been the banner mine,
but J. S. Freeman, the superintendent at
Patton, says he is going to be in the lead
hereafter. When you consider that this
coal was hauled more than a mile in tram
cars by mules, you will understand what
a big day s work it was.
"Engineers have been surveying re
cently for the purpose of installing new
electric haulage plants. When these are
completed it will be an easy mutter to
double the output.
"The most satisfactory feature of this
coal business is that everybody seems to
want Corona coni. It seems almost im
possible to get out enough to supply the
natural wants of the people.
"The West Corona Coal company seems
to have increased its output also and it
has a considerable camp.”
Looks Like Bryan.
"I believe that William Jennings Bryan
would sweep the country if the next na- j
tional election were held In November,”
said L. B. Musgrove yesterday. "He can
certainly get the democratic nomination
if ho wants it. unless things change might- |
My within the next two years.
Tn politics one can never tell what will !
take place, and Bryan may not be able
to defeat the republicans in 1908. I be- j
lieve, however, that the democrats are '
going to win in the next election anyway.
The republicans already have a campaign
fund of $1,000,000 which was left over from
the last election, but there will be no big
fund raised by the republicans next time,
such aa they raised in 1904. Each little (
fellow will raise a fund in his own state
and manage it himself.”
"The number of people that have glten
tip the eating of meat since the recent
disclosure is surprising," said a travel
ing man yesterday. "Meeting as 1 do
dozens of men In hotels throughout the
state, I have had an admirable oppor
tunity to notice the number that order
everything on the bill save meat. 1 at
first attributed this to the warm weather,
but upon investigation learned that they
were actually In mortal dread of the
meat served, unless they knew It was
home killed and cured.
"For about a week tn lobbies, ears, din
ing rooms and smokers the government
meat Investigation wras the topic of con
versation. This abstinence Is not prompted
by illiterate superstition, because the ma
jority of traveling men are men of the
world and well educated. They simply
think enough of their health to accept
the various stateiuents published for what
they are worth, and let meats of every
"I was talking recently to a man that
travels for a largo packing concern and
he told me his sales had fallen off 20 per
"I know of one hotel in Montgomery
tl'at prints on its menus the name of the
packer supplying the moats used on the
"Personally. I have not eaten a pound
of beef since tbe disclosures were made
public, nor has my wife. We are content
to wait a w hile. This may be foolishness,
but we would rather forego the pleas
ure of eutlug meat than to Imagine every
time we finished a meal that incipient
dyspepsia or some other malady hud
"There Is no use denying it, the press
of today lias become a powerful factor in
tbe world at large. If you don't believe
it ask the packers."
St. John’s Day.
"June 24 Is known as the festival of St.
John the llaptist," remarked an old Ma
son. "In the liturgical churches it Is ob
served and in many sections of the coun
try it is celebrated by the Masons. In
some Masonic Jurisdictions the worshipful
master and the other blue lodge officers
are installed on the 24th of June."
Nothing But the Truth.
From the Chicago News.
Mr. Ask I tt—What age would you rather
hs\ e lived in. Miss Thirtlodd'.'
Miss Thirtlodd—In the brightest age. I
NED BRACE TALKS ABOUT POLITICAL AFFAIRS
AND OTHER MATTERS OF GENERAL INTEREST
IT, la wall tlMLt there Is a challenge out
for a Joint dehat* In Birmingham be
twoen the two Jeff arson county guber
natorial candidates. Some of the people
here know each of them, but moat of
the pooplo know neither well.
They should show themselves as they
really are—tell what they know and what
they stand for, and give the people of
the greatest and moot populous county in
the state an opportunity to decide—each
for himself—between them. I would like
to hear them exploit themselves, and
I am sure there are many others who
feel that way. If we must choose between
the two we want to know at first hand
what we are voting for.
In the present political day the people
want to hear directly from candidates.
That they speak out on all subjects when
called upon is the reason the people of
this country like the loaders of the two
great political parties. Roosevelt, right
sometimes, wrong often, heel tat es not to
say what he thinks. Therefore his popu
larity within his party, and occasionally
outside. Bryan, always ready to express
liis views and give good reasons for such,
has finally convinced not only the ntagses
but the classes of the democracy that he
Is the man; and the people, and politicians
of democracy and of independent thought
have rallied to him.
It looks now like the man who has
been twice nominated and twice defeated
will be nominated a third time and elect
ed. Certainly there is a tidal wave for
him at present.
After all the fuss in Congress over the
railroad rate bill It is not to be so drastic,
and will work no material injury to the
! railroads. It will simply bring about fair
play. No honestly conducted railroad will
As to the pass feature, the political
grafter is cut off. Courtesies of trans
portation between railroad officials will
continue and employes and their families
may ride free when the higher officials ;
care to write passes. The congressman j
who gets twenty oents a mile from the
United States treasury for ills tdoketa to
and from Washington, who pockets the
same and rides on a free puss, will be
prevented from doing so In future. So
will the state, county and city officials,
and others wlvo have really never bean
entitled to ride free.
♦ ♦ ♦
The pure food bill debate Ln Congress
has taught us all something. In food as
in circuses it would seein that the Ameri
can people want to be humbugged. For
many years past all sorts of chemical
concoctions have been Imposed upon the
people, to the serious detriment of health.
As many of the states will not protect
thalr people it Is well for the national
government to do so.
♦ ♦ ♦
Though there are candidates galore for
all the offices ln Alabama, which are to
be filled this fall, the people are taking
less Interest in politics than ever before
ln the history of the state of Alabama.
The candidates for governor are both on
the same platform practically, and appar
ently the public cares little who is elect
There is one Interest, however, which
both candidates should be forced by the
people to support. It Is the question of
the state Itself taking up the matter of
immigration. The labor problem is indeed
a serious o«ne and there is ten times as
much uncultivated land ln Alabama as
there should be.
What we need in Alabama is more intel
ligent labor and a greater number of
Intelligent farmers. The negro Is not a
farmer. He is merely a farm laborer.
The railroads are doing their part to
ward bringing Intelligent farmers and la
borers into the state, but the state gov
ernment Itself must take up the .matter
of establishing a bureau of immigration
as it has an agricultural bureau. Ala
bama is going ahead in manufacturing
and mineral production but it is standing
almost still in an agricultural way. Prac
tically every food produot consumed with
in the limits o»f the state should be raised
within the state. \©t as it is now a very
large percentage of food products are
Imported from western states; and these
products from the western states are
produced largely, or almost entirely, by
whites, & large percentage of whom are
of foreign origin.
Any on© traveling over the state of
Alabama, who has traveled in the north
or west, can readily sue the difference.
Our lands are uncultivated and there is
many times as much waste land as there
♦ ♦ ♦
In the Birmingham district of course it
is different. This is a manufacturing dis
trict. There Is steady growth and pno
I gTees here. Yet there is a groat scarcity
of la oar, even right here where wages
e.re higher than at any other point In
the entire south.
Just now the Tennessee Coal, Iron and
Railroad company directors are making
large appropriations for new plants and
Improvements to be made on the old
plants In this district. I am reliably in
formed that they are to spend something
like ten to fifteen million dollars here.
Of course such expenditure will make
things hum in this district, so to speak.
With the Birmingham district going
ahead as .it is. the people not only of
Birmingham, but of this elate, should
take steps to bring about a full state de
velopment in every line equalling that of
the Birmingham district.
♦ ♦ ♦
I am glad to know that Mayor Ward
and some members of the Board of Aider
men are taking active steps to provide
for Birmingham a genuine park. I am
Informed that 'a deal has been made for
something like 160 acres of land adjoin
ing the city to be converted into a beau
tiful park. I believe that every one in
Birmingham will approve the Mayor’s
action in this matter and will earnestly
assist him In his work of providing an
attractive park and playground for the
I ALABAMA PRESS
Gadsden Times-News: Prom the Czar s
viewpoint d-o-u-m-a spells revolution.
Sheffield Reaper: A “Home-coming” to
old Alabama would mean a ‘Home-stay
Ifartselle Enquirer: The Anti-SaJoon
league is exploding large bombs In North
Scottsboro Citizen: Jefferson county is
getting better. Only about 100 people were
killed there last month.
Florence Times: The peach crop In
North Alabama Is a fine one this year. In
Bontli Alabama it is almost a total failure. '
Gurley Herald: They have found thirty
boodlers in the Arkansas legislature but j
nobody knows how many others got ,
Montgomery Advertiser: A man may
have a great deal of Jaw, physically and
colloquially, and yet not be much of a
Lamar Democrat: The law creating the
railroad commission being invalid, gives
to Mr. Comer one of the strongest pulls
in the campaign.
Cullman Democrat: For the first time
since he appeared on the stage, we are
for William Jennings Bryan for President
of the I'nited States.
Conecuh Record: Something's wrong
when mothers' hands are brown and
drawn, while the daughter's never lose
their snowy whiteness.
Mobile Register: Events of the past two
weeks must have convinced Woodrow
Wilson that presidential candidates are
not discovered by the weekly papers.
Bullock County Breeze: I'ndoubtedly
Senator Smoot is feeling sorry for some
of the men, who are married to tome of
the women, who are after him all the
Troy Messenger: When President Roose
velt inaugurates the Noble Order of Muck
rakers, he will have to Issue the first
decoration for discovering embalmed beef
to General Miles.
Carbon Hill Enterprise-Democrat: The
gubernatorial fight Is now waxing warm.
Most of the daily papers and the towns
seem to be for Cunningham. This Is pretty
good evidence that the people are for
Tuscaloosa Times-Gazette: One good
way to get even with or rather to be
come Independent of the packing houses
Is to do a little canning ourselves. A
few more vegetables and fruits, etc.,
canned at home would make the demand
for canned meats less pressing at any
Sheffield Standard: After an experience
of several years the city of Richmond.
Ind , has sold Its gas plant, having found
municipal ownership unprofitable. The
main discovery about public ownership
so far is that It depends on the manage
Dothan Eagle: Birmingham thinks It's
high time that Cunningham and Comer
were speaking in their home city. She
has watched them go out and scrap In
Joint debate, and has grown uneasy for
them, as a cow sees her calf cutting a
caper outside. Birmingham should Just
let them run now while they can. They
can speak at home some rainy day.
Sumter County Call: There are too
many candidates trying to ride into office
on somebody’s else's coat tail. Some men
have no ideas of their own and depend
on some one else to do their thinking.
This kind of a candidate is a mere figure
head, and If one of them does happen
to get In office, some one else will con
tinue to do their thinking. Me want to
see men elected who have convictions and
backbone. Be at all times what you are,
stand on your merits If you sink Into
||l SEE,” said an old horseman, “that
| 'Go Between’ went ahead and won
I the suburban handicap at Sheeps
head Bay. The horse was a rank
'selling plater/ but an application of the
whip judicially made brought Ihim
over a winner. You never can tell w'hat a
man or horse is going to do. Some of
the fellows I little expected to see ac
complishing anything worth while have
passed me in a canter, and here I am
trailing along with no chance to show.
Every man is his own jockey but he is
often ridden by bad habits, and I am
afraid that a heavy mount was what
kept me back in the ruck. Time and the
man meet most unexpectedly, sometimes.
Time and the horse met at Sheepshead
A little work we have to do,
A little while to play;
A little later into bed.
And then another day.
And so it goes until the years
Have spun their weary round
And then the showers beat upon
Another little mound.
A good way to keep cool is to have It
Staying up late will make life seem
longer for a while.
Be sure you have a muck heap—then
A Missouri man finished all day and
caught but three small fish. He was so
disheartened that he repaired to his home
and committted sijlclde. It is to be regret
ted that such a peculiarly sensitive na
ture did not enjoy better luck.
Do you entertain a wish
For a rest?
Tho. you can't afford to go
East or west?
Do you think you'd like to spend
Just a week
In a solitary doze,
So to speak?
You can do it easily—
Are you wise?
Stay right where you are and don't
Many are called—most of them down.
The crop of June brides Is being har
Patronize the garbage can.
“Tell them to go to -said Charles
M. Schwab, referring to persons who have
been circulating reports of his gambling
exploits abroad. You may substitute for
the dash any city you w*sh. Chicago
Openwork trolley cars are In vogue.
HARD TO BEAT.
Watermelon mighty pleasin'
When All’s In er shady place.
Chicken, too, am ruther teasin’—
Jest can’t wait ter say de grace.
Dem two makes er combination,
Dat outclasses all de res’.
Red meat fum de watermelon.
White meat fum de chicken breas’.
Pure food these days is little more than
Some time ago a Birmingham man hung
a smallpox sign by his door and enjoyed
comparative quiet for several w-eeks.
The University of Chicago “heard” from
John D. Rockefeller. It was $250,000. Guess
we are deaf.
An Ohio woman was given sixty days
In prison for throwing rocks at a steam
boat. Of course she didn’t fhit the boat.
King Haakon’s crown is a wretched
fit and slips down over his ears. Put a
little paper under the sweat band, Haak.
WHERE DID HE GO?
An umpire died and passed away.
As other mortals do.
Up where he went he didn’t find
A spirit that he knew.
Gussle: Much to our regret, we have
been unable to learn who composed that
classic stanza, “Mother, may I go out to
•wtrnT Tm, my darling daughter, Haag
-i MEN AND
OF THE TIMES
your clothes on ^a 'hickory limb, and
don’t go near the water.” However, we
are confident that it developed the sea
shore girl’s Idea of taking a plunge in
the surf. In order to make the poem
Etrictly up to date the words "swell
bath house,” or some other such term,
may be substituted for "hickory limb,”
j as there are no hickory limbs, we believe,
I on the seashore.
UP AGAINST IT.
[ Conditions met with here on earth
Do make a mortal sad.
Where’er the climate's extra good
The water’s always bad.
That "h” in Trondhjem certainly has
an easy time. PAUL COOK.
MUST DO BETTER NOW.
From the Brew-ton Standard.
Since our honored friend, Erwin Craig
head, of the Register, has had bestowed
upon him the title of LL. D., he must
no longer speak or write of a "standard
of value." In all discussions of the money
question, we hope he will hereafter keep
In mind the fact that value is a mental
concept; that values vary In accordance
with individual estimations, and that there
can. therefore, be no standard by which
values can be measured. Messrs. Watter
Kon and Screws are respectfully reminded
that they, too, have been, guilty of
making the same mistake as to a stand
ard of value.
BIRMINGHAM SHOULD HELP.
From the Florence Times.
In another article in The Times thl*
week we refer to the necessity for bet
ter railway facilities between Florence.
Tuscumbia and Sheffield and the city of
Birmingham. The trouble we point out
lies nearly altogether in the arrangement
of the schedules. We should be able to
visit Birmingham, spend several hours,
and return the same evening. As it is now,
a trip to Birmingham, if only a few
hours of tho day be needed there, means
two nights and the better part of three
days out, if the Northern Alabama road
Is used; or if the trip should be by De
catur, it is wore on account of night
travel. We have hung on this question too
long. Let the cities get together and make
a pull altogether and let Birmingham
come to our assistance. We suggest that
cour city offlci^ and business league*
take the matter up at once.
THE OLD SEXTON.
By Park Benjamin.
Nigh to a grave that was newly made
Leaned a sexton old, on his earth-worn
His work was done and he pased to wait
The funeral train at the open gate.
A relic of by-gone days was he.
And his locks wero gray as the foamy
And these words came from his lips *o
■'I gather them in—I gather them in—
Gather—gather—I gather them In.
•T gather them In; for man and boy.
Year after year of grief and joy,
I’ve builded the houses that lie around
In every nook of this burial-ground.
Mother and daughter, father and son,
Conte to my solitude, one by one;
But come they stranger, or come they
I gather them In—I gather them In.
“Many are with me. yet I'm alone;
I'm king of tho dead, and I make my
On a monument Blab of marble cold—
My sceptre of rule Is tho spade I hold.
Come they from cottage, or come they
Mankind are my subjects, all. all, all!
May they loiter in pleasure or toilfully
I gather them In—I gather Shem in.
"I gather them In. and their final rest
Is here, down here. In the earth's dark
And the sexton ceased as th» funeral
Wound mutely over that snhmin plain;
And 1 said to myself "V.'b n time is
A mightier voice than that xbm's old
Will be beard o'er the *.ist trump < dread
I gather them in—I gather them la—
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