The Birmingham age-herald. [volume], January 07, 1913, Page 4, Image 4

About The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950

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THE AGE-HERALD
K. W. BAHKETT.Editor
Entered at the Birmingham, Ala.,
postoffice as second class matter under
act of Congress March 3, 1873.
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THE AGE-HERALD,
Birmingham, Ala.
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________________
J Southern Commercial Congress
The fifth annual meeting of the
Southern Commercial congress will
be held at Mobile next September and
it will be an event of uncommon inter
est, for the congress will adjourn to
Panama and proceed in a body to
■witness the passage of the first ship
through the canal.
Managing Director Clarence J.
Owens of Washington is in Ala
bama now for the purpose of pro
moting publicity in connection with
the forthcoming congress and h%
should find it easy to arouse enthu
siasm, especially in Birmingham. No
city in the United States is more vi
< ,'y interested in the Panama canal
than this city. As Mr. Owens points
out, Alabama, being the host state
of the Southern Commercial congress,
Birmingham and Montgomery should
both be well represented at the Sep
tember meeting. Every member of
the Birmingham Chotnber of Com
merce should arrange to be in Mobile
during the session and a goodly num
ber may be counted upon to make the
trip to the Panama zone and take
note of that first ship as it passes
through jthe canal.
The exact date of the opening of
the canal has not been set but the
Southern Commercial congress keeps
in close touch with the government
at Washington and will be informed
several weeks ahead of time so that
due announcement can be made.
The Southern Commercial congress
is five years old and in that time it
has accomplished a great deal. It
had a successful meeting at Atlanta
in 1911 and another successful meet
ing at Nashville in 1912, and this
year’s meeting promises to surpass
all others both in attendance and in
practical and far-reaching importance
of the subjects discussed. The Mobile
congress will certainly attract more
visitors than any of the others and
it is none too soon for Birmingham
to look out for hotel accommodations
in the Gulf City.
Mobile is noted for its hospitality
and on this occasion it may ba de
pended uporf to do itself more than
proud. _
Benches Instead of Chairs
The floor of the House in Wash
ton is to undergo a great change.
Room is needed for 442 members, and
the clumsy desks and chairs are to be
taken out and upholstered benches
are to fill the space instead. This is
far better. Committee rooms are near
by, and office room in the big new
office building is not far away. There
is really no reason for retaining the
old reclining chairs and desks.
An effort will be made to bring
about this change before the extra
session meets. When the seven semi
circular rows of benches are installed
the appearance of the House will not
be greatly unlike the British house of
commons in which there are seats for
607 members. The House of Repre
sentatives will seat peehaps an equal
number in the future, for the mem
bership is increasing as each census
comes along. At any rate the cham
ber will have room for many new
members when the proposed benches
are put in.
Recognition of China
The country will soon get rid of
Philander Knox, and when it does
steps should be taken granting recog
nition to the republic of China. Sena
tor Bacon of Georgia is already en
deavoring to bring the Senate up to
recognition by the United States. As
Senator Bacon will almost surely be
the chairman of the committee on
foreign relations in the next Con
gress, his action becomes significant.
The Knox theory is that a parlia
ment must first be elected and the
republic of China must first prove it
has come to stay. As the republic has
recently borrowed $125,000,000 from
the six-power banking group it is
I plain that some bankers have con
fidence in the republic.
When France became a republic
this country hastened to lend a help
ing hand through recognition, and
China today needs like assistance.
Recognition by the United States
would be speedily followed by similar
action on the part of the other pow
ers, and this would enable the new
government to get in position to re
sist Russian intrusion in Mongolia.
By prompt recognition and by pro
tests against the action of Russia in
Mongolia we could indeed secure
China’s friendship. The entire Knox
scheme in postponing recognition as
long as possible tends to disruption of
China and to endless troubles in that
country.
The new administration will act in
dependently no doubt and the six
powers scheme will be disregarded.
This was largely a device of Mr.
Knox, and yet it did not prevent Rus
sia from getting a strangle-hold on
Mongolia.
Extension of the Waterway
The citizens of this city desire an
extension of the Warrior improve
ment. Slackwater navigation with
six feet of water the year round is
desirable and all want it. Those who
say the Warrior and 'Bigbee are nar
row and tortuous do not know the his
tory of slackwater navigation in thjs
and other countries. They have not
studied the story of the Monongahela,
down which great quantities of coal
are floated to Pittsburg. If long tows
are impracticable short tows may not
be, and as a last resort the self-pro
pelled barge carrying 1000 tons is
available.
Once the canal is completed pro
ducers and manufacturers can be
trusted to find a way to use it, for in
moving heavy products water trans
portation is easily cheaper and there
fore better than rail transportation.
The government has spent a large
sum in opening the ’Bigbee and the
Warrior and its work will stand com
plete if by canalization it is extended
to this city. This is what we need,
and this is what every citizen desires.
This was made plain at yesterday’s
meeting of the Chamber of Com
merce, and Major Flagler, the gov
ernment engineer in charge of the
Warrior improvement, no doubt sees
what the people of this district de
sire. He knows that Birmingham
wants a waterway to tidewater. This
has been the dream of this city many
years, and a canal is all that now
stands in the way of that dream com
ing true.
President Taft’s Political Wake
The President’s calm and good-na
tured acceptance at the reorganiza
tion dinner in New ^fork of the result
of the election was happy indeed. The
general tone of it was admirable. He,
however, plainly made manifest a
hold-back or standpat vein in his
make-up. He wants social changes
to come slowly. “It has,” he said,
“been charged against me that I am
an aristocrat, and that I have no sym
pathy with the common people.” He
uses this term “cdtnmon people” fre
quontly, and he offers no excuse or
explanation.
The existence here of a class that
Mr. Taft calls “the common people”
implies the existence of another class
made up of uncommon people. Who,
indeed, are the uncommon people as
distinguished from the common peo
ple?
It is the spirit, the undertone, of
the President’s speech that is signifi
cant. He is not a born reformer, it is
plain. He is a believer in a great deal
of representative government. He
wants no “insurgency.” He wants
constitutional representative govern
ment, with all its checks and balances.
He admits that this is “a period of
unrest and agitation for something
intangible which it is difficult to defi
nitely describe. We have lived during
the last four years, and are living
now, in an atmosphere of strenuous
denunciations of certain evils and
loud aspirations for an ideal state in
which the common people are to be
come happier, the poor and the op
pressed are to acquire property and
cease suffering, and much or all of
the change is to be accomplished
through the agency of government."
All this seems to have been plain
to him and yet the tariff was revised
upward instead of downward, and not
a single far-reaching reform was
placed on the statute book. The trusts
were subjected under an old act to
dissolutions that did not dissolve, and
monopoly continues today to cru'-h
competition at every turn. In every
important respect the administra-ion
of Mr. Taft has been a failure ami
“the common people” in November
last rose up against it.
Mrs. Senator Robinson of Colorado
wore when the legislature met a dull
primrose silk while her hands were en
cased In long white gloves. Her maiden
speech was a hit. She seconded the nom
ination of Senator Austin Blakey for
piesldent pro tern. Everybody was get
ting hungry by the /time the nominating
began. “This is not the time for oratory,
but for luncheon,1” said Senator Robin
son. "I take honor in seconding the nom
ination of Senator Blakey. too-r-Senator
Blakey, the grand old lighting maul"
.f. Pierpont Morgan has -been formally
declared a patron of fine arts and letters
by special act of the trustees of the Cath
olic University of America. This honor
Is designed to express the satisfaction
with which the Catholic church In the
United States views Mr. Morgan's course
"In endowing his native land with innu
merable works of art. created through
many centuries by the manifold genius
of the Old World, by his taste and Judg
ment collected, and by his farseeing gen
erosity bestowed upon the American peo
ple." Cardinal Gibbons is president of
the board of trustees, Cardinal l^rley is
vice-president, and the other New York
members are Mgr. Lavelle, John D,
Crlmmlns and Eugene A. Fliilpin. This
is the first time that any honorary dis
tinction has been conferred by the gov
ernors of the university.
The late James R. Keene was an In
veterate stock speculator and horseman,
hut he left a fortune of $16,000,000. Says
Thomas W. Lawson: "Keene played ’em
fast and furious with the hhte sky for
a limit, and whether he dealt from the
top, bottom or middle, his fingers never
discorded with hts heart. His life was a
symphony of gamble, and it was a great
er pleasure to lose to him than to win
from a bungler. We often wrangled, but
my admiration for his ability was re
called only by my wonder at his nerve.”
Senator Bailey will remain a Texan,
but he will spend most of his time in
hts handsome new residence In Sixteenth
street, Washington. It is understood
that he will practice exclusively before
the supreme court of the United States.
It was because of pressing professional
engagements that he hastened his resig
nation, Instead of waiting until March
4, when his term would have expired.
When 1912 was opened American Radia
tor common stock was selling at 304, and
the first sales this year were on the basis
of 475 bid, 500 asked. It Is an unlisted
stock. All dealings In the stock are for
investment account. The employes of the
company held 350,000 shares of the stock.
Mayor Fitzgerald of Boston, taking hts
from the housewives, has decided to
erect a big tank in the heart of' that city
from which he will deal out gasoline at
17 cents a gallon, the wholesale price.
The retail price In Boston is 25 cents.
Alabama had 217 failures in 1912 as
against 165 In 1911, but the greater num
ber in 1912 had assets almost equal to
their liabilities. Their assets were $5,
326,279 and their liabilities $6,452,602.
Georgia had last year 412 failures.
Josephus Daniels rises up to remark
that William J. Bryan will make the
greatest Secretary of State the country
has ever had. He can outdo Philander
Knox with both hands tied behind him.
With a crate of eggs under one arm
and a cold storage turkey under the
other, the postman should not be ex
pected to be over-polite when he greets
the fair mistress of the house.
Gov. Cole Blease may be called down
by any state to which his exiled con
victs may go. One governor has no
right to exile a man to another state.
The comity of states forbids.
Governor Ferris of Michigan never had
on a dress suit until he wras inaugurated
last week, and he no doubt hopes to
spend many happy years hereafter with
out putting it on again.
In Berlin streets must be crossed at
right angles now. Any oblique crossing.
Birmingham fashion, would mean ten
days in the pen. Berlin has some gov- 1
eminent.
A Berlin symposium declares that man
is at his best at 60 years of age. From
60 to (V> is the efficient age, so the Ber
lin fellow says, but their ages are not
stated.
The trouble is human production is
in twenty years increasing at the rate
of 20 per cent, while cattle producing is
increasing only 8 per cent.
Major General Wood will shine in the
democratic inaugural procession which he
is to have charge of. All administra
tionE! look alike to him.
William Rockefeller can now appear
before the Pujo committee with great
eclat. No press agent ever did more
thorough work.
The wonder now is that the people did
| not rise up decades ago to establish the
parcel post.
Whenever Turkey looks across the lines
to the frowning guns of the allies *she
simply sits down and writes out new
concessions.
John D’s brother has more publicity
than even the Rockefeller family needs
or can utilize. They are not grand opera
stars.
Boston aspires to be the biggest dry
(dock) town on the continent.
It will soon he settled whether Castro
is_to be passed or passed-up.
A SIMPLE APRON
From the St. Louis Herald. \
A simple apron for embroiderers is
made of a big square of lawn or dimity,
turned up about a third of its length and
featherstitched into four pockets. Three
of these hold embroidery pieces, the
fourth is featherstitched again Into five
divisions, each for a separate color of
silk. The hem on these pockets is lined
with canton flannel before being turned
dowm and featherstitched, and Is used as
a needle case. The rest of the goods is
hemmed all around and provided with rib
bon drawing strings, so that it can be
worn as an apron.
REH EtTIOXS OF A BACHELOR
From the New York Press.
The reason a woman knows what
the baby is trying to say is the baby
isn't.
It scares a man to get any money
and think what if his family should
find /it out.
Fat women can’t believer it of them
selves. even when they have to buy
their dress material by the mile.
What a girl means when she makes
a man think how much she likes him
is if she really did she’d act as if she
didn't.
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Mucli Belter Thun n Year Ago
"Business conditions in Birmingham
and the Birmingham district are far bet
ter now than they were a year ago—
several hundred per cent better I would
say," remarked a member of the Chamber
of Commerce. "The fact Is that condi
tions here now are exceptionally satis
factory.
"In the Industrial field this time last
year only the coal trade was really ac
tive. A general improvement In the in
dustrial situation began to manifest it
self In the spring and during the sum
mer we had a healthy boom. Now the
iron and steel business is remarkably
prosperous. Alabama coal continues to
be in brisk demand, the lumber trade
was never more active and taken all in
all Birmingham has entered the new year
in high feather."
Another Staunton Man
"I ha\e read with interest about some
of Staunton, Va.’s distinguished sons,”
said a club man. "Woodrow Wilson,
who was born In Staunton, has put that
thriving Virginia town well on the map.
Charles Catlett and John Jermain Porter,
prominent in the industrial and scientific
world, had made it a household name
among iron and steel folks, hut the Presi
dent-elect has, as a matter of course,
given it world-wide celebrity.
"In the list of civil engineers one of
the ablest is Archibald Stuart Baldwin,
chief engineer of the Illinois Central. He
is another man who sheds dustre on
Staunton. He was horn in Winchester,
Va., but moved to Staunton early and
was educated there, and when quite a
young man married one of Staunton's
fairest daughters. He was assistant engi
neer and roadmaster of the Louisville and
Nashville from 1887 to 1901, with office in
Birmingham.
"I was particularly glad to read the
tribute to Frank S. Foster, assistant
cashier of the First National bank cf
Birmingham and a Staunton ‘boy,’ which
appeared in the ‘Hotel Lobby’ column
Sunday. Everything said about Mr. Fos
ter was true. There was not a word
too much. 7 understand that the citizen j
quoted in eulogy of this modest Staun- |
tonian was former Mayor George B. ;
Ward.”
Inauguration Crowd Expected
“We expect a great crowd at the!
Inauguration — a record breaking
crowd,” said Jacob L. Phipps of Wash
ington, D. C.
“From all accounts President-elect
Woodrow Wilson Is inclined to sim
plicity rather than pomp and cere
mony in public life, but if he ever had
any idea of being inaugurated with
out a great military parade he quickly
made up his mind, no doubt, to con
form to custom. Certainly from a Wash
ington point of view an inauguration
would not be an inauguration without
a great turnout of brass buttons and
brass bands.
“X have never had the pleasure of
meeting Mr. Wilson but from all one
hears hg is a most genial gentleman
and his administration will be a great
social success, it may be taken for
granted, no matter what may be said
of the political side of it.”
The Dog IVnr Is Over
‘‘The dog men are much interested
in the decision of the National Field
Trial club at its meeting in Montgom
ery in the matter of the war over
dogs rather than the dogs of war,” said
a sportsman.
“It has been a matter of much dis
cussion in the publications devoted to
field sports as to whether the Inter
national Field Trials club did not take
unf^fr action of disbarment against
Jim A vent in the question of run
ning a dog in a class for which he
was barred by age. The question was
determined adversely to Avent on the
testimony of a veterinarian, who based
his finding on the teeth of the dog.
Such a tempest was raised by owners
of dogs and other sportsmen that the
matter came up before the National
Field Trials club in Montgomery last
night. It has l>een the rule of the clubs
that disbarment in any recognized field
trial club automatically operated
against a trainer in all. Well, the Na
tional Field Trials club, by a vote of
23 to 3, declined to recognize the In
ternational club. And so Avent and his
great dog, Momoney, and other dogs
in his hands can compete In the great
est trials of the year, which begun, by
the way, today, at LeUohatchie, in
Lowndes county. I understand that
there is a very full atendance of dog
lovers, owners and trainers, and that
some phenomenal work is expected
from the list of noted dogs and novices
entered. I think the original . entries
number about 120 dogs; of course, there
will be many that will not qualify.”
Automobile Speeding
“The automobile situation in Birming
ham is no worse than it is in other cities,
perhaps, but men and women in crossing
the streets in our business district are
often in jeopardy,” said a merchant.
“In the first place, the speed law should
be strictly enforced, and T am inclined to
think that the law should be amended so
as to reduce the speed. It would be bet
ter if automobiles barely creeped along
the streets. At night chauffeurs seem
very reckless on some or the downtown
thoroughfares. I have noticed frequently
automobiles whizzing on Fifth avenue at
the*rate of 25 or 30 mites an hour. That
there are not more fatal accidents seems i
to be a#miracle.”
Factors in Education
i "Every young man who completes an
academic course at college would do well
to work at least one year In a counting
room before taking up a professional
career," said a successful man.
“1 am a great believer in college edu
cation for business men as well as pro
fessional men. I ■ can remember when
only those boys who were to he lawyers,
doctors, preachers or engineers were sent
to college, but the old notion that college
training unfitted a boy for commercial
life has been exploded. A mistake Is of
ten made, however, by college graduates
W'ho go to a law school or theological
seminary and complete studies to tit
them for their special duties without
knowing anything whatever of business
or even the general principles of com
moi rial work.
"In addition to a year's service in a
counting room a young man would be all
the belter equipped for a professional
career if he had a year or two's experi
ence as a newspaper reporter. A knowl
edge of business and a practical experi
erpe as a writer would certainly give
a than a great advantage in life no mat
ter what bis occupation might be.
"The other day I was talking to a
young man who will graduate in one of
our Alabama colleges next June. He
was thinking of taking up law, but he
said that if he developed a turn for busi
ness he might enter permanently upon a
business career, Ha intended, he said,
working as a reporter for at least twelve
months and then working in a business
bouse for another twelve months. He is
now Jess than 19 and if he carries out
his plans he would still be young should
he enter a law school.
"I believe the time will come when a
little mercantile experience and a little
repertorial writing experience will be
considered an important factor in general
education. The trouble with many pro
fessional men is- that they are totally
ignorant of bookkeeping and many tech
nically educated men are handicapped
by their inability to express themselves
on paper in good English.”
STATE PRESS
Wake Ip. Housewives!
From the Montgomery**Advertiser.
The Columbia State speaks of the
“uprising in Charleston’’ of house
wives who have organized to reduce
the cost of living. If the Charleston
housewives will rise early enough to
cook breakfast themselves they wrill
have solved part of the problem.
Flensing Hie Province*
From the Huntsville Mercury-Banner.
Decatur ft to have a new bank with
a capital stock of $250,000 to be finan
ced by Birmingham capitalists. It is
a good sign to see Birmingham money
going out into neighboring cities.
We’re Growing Towns
From the Talladega Home.
Birmingham and Bessemer announce
increased arrests. Wet. Talladega's rec
ord for arrests is at a very low ebb.
Dry. )
The Allies Stood Pot
From the Tuscaloosa News.
•The Turkish.plenipotentiaries at the
Taondon peace Conference played the de
laying game for all it was worth, but
it failed to work on the allies.
SUFFRAGETTE DOINGS
From the Woman's Home Companion.
"Mr. Asquith, prime minister of Eng
land," wishing to leave a political meeting
and knowing that his enemies were lined
up outside waiting for him, had himself
shot through a pneumatic tube, used for
the parcel post, to the postoffice, and
escaped. Another time a horse blanket
served as a satisfactory disguise.
"Finally the warfare waxed so hot that
when the premier was scheduled to speak
In a certain city of England regular war
defenses were prepared for him. Landing
on a barricaded station platform, passing
through a subway to his hotel, then in 'a
freight elevator to his apartments, he
dined alone, and went to the hall escorted
by mounted police. Crowds collected in
the street, and only ticket holders were
allowed to pass through the tiny gates in
the four high barricades protecting the
entrance. At each of these police were on
guard, and every would-be auditor was
subjected to the closest scrutiny.
•‘Meanwhile, for days, while the barri
cades were being constructed against
them, women ''had been hidden in the
nearby 'houses, ready for yie fray. Mr.
Asouith had no sooner begun his speech
than man after man stood up and asked,
•When will you fulfill your pledge to the
women?’ The crowd ioutside, angry at
their own seclusion, were hurling them
selves against the wooden 'walls and
cheering some women who were chopping
at the barricade and then getting arrested
by the police.
“Suddenly a crash of breaking glass
in the hall was followed by the bellow
ing of an electric motor horn and the
shrill cries of ‘Votes for women!' The se
creted members of the Woman’s So
cial and Political union had appeared at
a second story window opposite, and were
hurling missiles into the hall through the
window's.” %
THE HUMAN EAR
From the Family Doctor.
The upper passage of the ear does not
need regular clearing by Its owner. Na
ture undertakes the task, and In a
healthy ear does JJ/perfectly.
Nature’s means for clearing the ear Is
the wax, which dries up into thin scales
and peels off and falls away Impercepti
bly. In health the passage of the ear Is
never dirty, but a/n attempt to clean It
will Infallibly make it so. Washing the
ear out »with soap and water is bad; it
keeps the wax moist when it ought to be
come drv and scaly, and makes it absorb
dust.
Eut the most hurtful thing is the In
troduction of a corner of a towel,
screwed up and twisted around. This
proceeding irritates the passage and
presses down the wax and flakes of skin
upon the membrane of the tympanum,
producing pain, inflammation and deaf
ness. The washing should only extend
to the outer surface, as far as the fingers
can reach. An old doctor used to say,
“You will be on the safe side if you
don't put anything smaller than your
thumb in your ear.’’
CONFIRMED FOR RHEUMATISM
From Living Church.
tftev. Joshua Kimber, in his “Reminis
cences,” tells the following anecdote of
the late Bishop Horatio Potter:
lie had been journeying up the east
bank of the Hudson river, stopping for
confirmation each day at adjoining par- j
ishes. When he reached Poughkeepsie j
he saw a woman at the rail waiting
for confirmation whose face he was sure !
he recognized and was somewhat fa
miliar with. He was also certain that
she had been confirmed within the week
at another place. The bishop whispered
to her to remain after service, and
said:
“My dear madam, what do you mean
by coming for confirmation? I am sure
I confirmed you on Monday at such a
place. Did I not?
She said: “You certainly did. I have
been following you up the river, and
have been' confirmed every day this
week."
He, astonished, said, “Why did you
do that?" Whereupon she replied:
“Because I heard it was good for
rheumatism."
PEN BETRAYS HER
Frcm the New York Mail.
A man whose fountain pen requires re
pairs, and borrows his wife’s to use in
the interval, has a chance to make an
interesting study. A woman's pen, like
a woman's watch, has a psychology of its
own. It betrays the feminine tempera
ment in every movement.
Generally you find that, in order to get
the pen to write at all, you have to tip it
to one side, for women alw'ays write with
the side or edge of a pen. If you can
get it to scratch a little as It go.es over
! tlie paper, it will write; if it can t it
! leaves the paper blank. If you lay it
down flat on the table it leaks ink. It be
trays by its general conduct that it is
carried wrong end up ajid sometimes the
other.
It is a mystery' why a woman, who can
be so neat and orderly about her house,
and who will noj.let you displace a doily
on the back of a chair, can alwrays be re
lied on to get a watch out of order and
demox*alize a pen.
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
FORBEARANCE.
My brother, pity do I feel
in seeing thee stray from the path
And act in such a way that thou
Wilt soon incur good people’s wrath.
Thou shouldst not resolutions make
Which thou canst never, never keep,
.E'en though thou hast a great desire
To mend thee, in repentance deep.
But, sooth, I shall not hurl a brick
When thou dost draw' temptation nigh;
And when I see thee yield to sin
I'll murmur, “Even so would I!"
NO DOUBT.
"A famous discoverer of nebulae has
passed away.”
"Ah—hum! ‘Nebulae,’ you say?"
“Yes.”
"Quite so, quite so. My knowledge of
germs is very limited, but I dare say the
person you have in mind was a great
man."
ADD THE SAME TO HER.
Though 3912 is dead and gone,
She does not w'eep for that,
Since every year is leap year with
The lady acrobat.
VINDICTIVE.
"There goes Skinner In his $10,000 auto
mobile."
' res. Darn the old cuss! I hopP he'll
get a thousand punctures this year!"
CONSISTENT MAN.
A pious man was Jasper Hill,
Who secretly would tap a till,
But e'en when others' coin he took
He still retained his pious look.
OPTIMISTIC JIBBS.
“A man called Jibbs a tadpole yester
day."
“Did Jibbs flare up?"
"No. He said a tadpole was an ener
getic little creature.”
A SIGN OF THE TIMES.
"Poetry is falling off."
"So are the poets. T saw one yesterday
as thin as a fence rail.”
NEW LIGHT ON XANTIPPE.
Xantippe was andante to fret,
Profane, we fear, and prone to shock.
Domestic she was not, and yet
She used to darn her Soc.
—Newark News.
A dame whose scolding never ceased.
For family scraps Xantippe thirsted.
No doubt she darned her Soc—at least
Her Soc, we know, was worsted.
—Boston Transcript.
Xantippe was a peevish dame—
Of one like her what must we think?
She darned poor Soc, despite his fame,
Till poison seemed a pleasant drink.
| EPITAPHS,
i Bill Boozer's taken his last drink.
Hq had his share on earth, we think.
His end was sad, alas; alack;
| The clove he swallowed was a tack.
—Cincinnati Enquirer.
Sam Snook has passed from earth!?
scenes—
No doubt dwells on some distant star;
While he was staring at two queens
He stepped before an auutocar.
—Birmingham Age-Herald.
Tom Tibbs’ ashes here repose,
Where loving friends may pause
To think how Tom in cotton clothes
Flared up as Santa Claus.
—Seattle Post-Intelligencer.
Here lies w'hat’s left of Tilford Bunce,
Somnolent as a rabbit;
A near-side car swept by him once
And Tilford tried to grab it!
—Buffalo Evening News.
SELDOM THINKS.
“What I admire about Briggs Is the fact
that he says what h© thinks.”
“Which probably accounts for anolhei
one of Briggs’ traits that I admire very
much.”
“And what is that?”
“His silence.”
POOR CIPRIANO.
Cip Castro, most
Abused of men,
Calls Ellis Isle
A “prison pen.”
PUNCTUATED ROMANCE.
They are reviving the old story of the
correspondence between Victor Hugo and
his publisher on the issue of “Les Miser
ables.” Very busy but anxious to know
how the book was selling, Hugo sent the
publisher a card marked simply “?” The
reply came back
This recalls the Cleveland man -no
longer young—who had been promised an
early answer to his proposal of marriage,
and finally, becoming impatient, wrote
as follows:
“When can I come up and get the an*
swer to my ?’’
The clever young woman promptly re
plied: ", long.”
Which, being declpered, meant, “com
ma long."
It Is pleasing to relate that when the
wooer had 'come along” the young wom
an put a full stop to his anxiety.—Cleve
land Plain Dealer.
SAD STATE OP AFFAIRS.
“Pa, what is meant by the 'entente cor
dlale'?”
A reciprocal feeling of friendliness, my
son, that is rendered null and void in the
case of New York and Chicago."
PAUL COOK.
ALABAMA AND HER DAWGS
From the Houston Post.
DESPITE the thrill of joy which the
season affords us, we are con
stantly reminded of the woes of
humanity. Not only of humanity in the
individual sense, but collective" humanity
as well. The occasion of the observation
is afforded by the plaintive wall that
comes from Alabama through the col
umns of our esteemed contemporary, the
Montgomery Advertiser.
Alabama Is complaining of the prolifer
ous tendency of her canines. It seems
that quality as well as quantity is inflict
ing painful reflections upon the state’s
wise men. The dogs are not only a bur
den to such Individuals as harbor them,
but are accused of imperiling what Is
considered a great Industry. We allude
to sheep growing. We would not profane
such an important question by undertak
ing to repeat the Alabama plaint. Only
the words of the Advertiser can do it and
here they are:
"If the legislature of Alabama is com
mitted to any one proposition it is com
mitted to the principle that every white
man and negro has the inalienable right
to raise as many dORs as he can to prey
upon the property of his neighbors. If
the legislature of Alabama is afraid of
any one class of citizens, it is afraid of
the small farmer in the white counties,
with his yard littered with useless dogs.
"The total number of sheep of shearing
age in Alabama on April 15, 1910, was 309,
000, representing a decrease of 52.4 per
cent as compared with the number on
June 1, 1900—229,000. The approximate
production of wool during 1909 was 320,000
fleeces, weighing 240,000 pounds and valued
at $80,000. The number of fleeced produced
in 3909 was 69.9 per cent less than In 1899.
These are census figures.
"There we have it—the steady decay of
what was once a considerable industry in
Alabama sheep and worthless curs can
not be grown in the same territory. Sheep
are useful to the physical wants of man;
man is nourished by their flesh and
clothed by their fleece. But what are the
dogs, good for? They are nothing but a
heavy useless tax on man, even if they
they never destroyed his sheep or his
other property.
"In Alabama we stand for the flop
eared hound and the onery cur. The men
who own dogs can outvote the men who
ow» sheep—therefore—down with the
sheep."
At the risk of annihilating a friend
ship yiat we value highly, we are going
to protest against’this wanton attack
upon dogs. The decline In Alabama's
sheep industry is not remarkable. Ala
bama has no sheep to talk about, any
way, and never did have, and the drop
ping off of more than 100,000 in ten years
wasn't due to the dogs to any great ex
tent.
Litsen: Texas used to lie the leading
sheep state of the union. At one time
the statistics gave us over fi,<XK),flOO. Now
we are credited with loss than 2,000,000.
It wasn’t the dogs, but economic condi
tions. When the free wool boulder hit
the sheep industry, we all said it was
that, but the McKinley bill restored the
duty, and yet our sheep standing went
steadily downward until almost any little
old rotten borough of the west ranks with
us. In all the states east of the river the
sheep industry Is declining, largely for
the reason that land values are steadily
ascending.
We might say much for the dogs, even
the flop-eared hounds that our contempor
ary objurgates so vigorously, but we
merely mention the fact that in Texas we
have some 25,000 dogs returned for tax
ation and they are valued at about *15
each or about ten times the value or a
sheep. That is equivalent to saylnjjthat
these taxed dogs are worth *50 or pVob
ably *75 each, when you "figger'- the cit
izen's agility in dodging taxes. Anyway,
our taxed dogs are valued more than
even our taxed cows, head for head.
It is easy to decry the virtues of the
flop-eared hound and onery cur, but any
well cared for dog is worth more than
a sheep. If the dogs of Alabama are
low bred, improve the breed oft he dogs.
To deprive the citizen of. Alabama and
his tow-headed hrats of the love and
companionship of dogs would be turning
the hands of the dial of civilization back
ward.
I^et Alabama raise a bale of cotton to
the acre or SO bushels of corn, and she
can buy sheep and wool for food and
clothes and have money left. To jump
upon the dogs is unchristian, uncivilized
and undemocratic. Feed the dogs and
improve the strain anl look a lost and
ruint world straight in the eyes.
LIBRARIES OP AUTHORS
From the Pall Mall Gazette.
At the sale of Goldsmith’s library
there was not a single copy of his own
works except a very imperfect one of
the “History of the Earth and Ani
mated Nature.” From the catalogue of
tho sale of Fielding’s library it ap
pears that the only books of his own
writing which he possessed at his death
were two volumes of miscellanies, two
more of his unimportant dramatic
works, the second edition of "Jonathan
Wild,” and a pamphlet. Johnson’s li
brary sold in 650 lots and fetched lit
tle more than £250.
Fielding’s library was about the same
size and was valued £100 higher, so
that neither could be described as val
uable when one considers that the price
of some of the lots would be enhanced
by the desire of friends to obtain me- ?
mentoes. As for Goldsmith’s library, it
is remembered that he would tear half |
a dozen pages out of a volume to save
the trouble of transcription and when
the auctioneer described the collection
as "scarce, curious and valuable,” thp?
last epithet was little more than a
rhetorical flourish.
A MAN'S NATION
From I,lfe.
Women, esepclally, are not polns to
\
vote as women. For one woman’s vot#
a president would get by appointing a
woman to his cabinet he would be quite
likely to lose three votes of women who
don’t want a woman in the cabinet. The
mass of women are not keen for suf
frage. They are loath to take the field
against it because that Is a lot of trouble
and makes them conspicuous. But if the
suffrage is handed to them they are quite
as likely to use it to confound the suf
fragists as td promote them. That can
be done privately.
THIS SOLDIER'S DREAM
By Thomas Campbell.
Our bugles sang truce—for the night
cloud had loured.
And the sentinel stars set their watch
in the sky;
And thousands had sunk on the ground
overpowered,
The w'eary to sleep, and the wounded
to die.
When reposing that night on niy pal
let of straw,
By the wolf-searing fagot that guard
ed the slain,
At the dead of the night a sweet vision
I saw.
And thrice ere the morning I dreamt |
it again.
Methought from the battle field's dread-; i
ful array,
Far, far, I had roam'd on a deso- a
late track:
'Twas autumn—and sunshine aroae on 1
the way
To the home of my fathers, that wel- 1
* corned me back.
I flew to the pleasant fields traversed* |
so oft
In life's morning march, when mf;
hosom was young:
I heard my own mountain goats bleat
ing aloft,
And knew the sweet strain that the d
corn reapers sung. ■
Then pledged me the wine cup, and
fondly I swore
From my home and my weeping
friends never to part:
My little ones kiss'd me a thousand
times o'er,
And my wife sobb’d aloud In her full*
ness of heart.
Stay, stay with us—rest, thou art weary-,
and worn;
And fain was their war-broken sol* .
dler to stay: ,.
But sorrow return’d wtth the dawn- *
lng of morn. ; J
And the voioe n my dreaming ear
melted away, " _ a