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E. W. BAHKETT..Editor Entered at the .Birmingham* Ala., postol’fico as second class matl-r uuder act of Congress March 3, is?:*. Dally and Sunday Age - Herald.... 18.00 Daily and Sunday, per month.... .70 Daily and Sunday, three months.. 2.00 Sunday Age-Heraid . ••• *00 Weekly Age-Heraid, per annum. . 00 subscription payable In advance. Z, K. Morgan and W. G. Wharton are the only authorized traveling repre sentatives of The Age-Heraid in Us circulation department. No communication will be publishcu without its authors name. Rejecteu manuscript will not be returned unless stamps are enclosed lor tuat purposs. Remittances can be made at current rate of exchange. The* Age-Herald will not be responsible for money sent through the mails. Address, THE AGE-HEltALD, liirmilignum, Ala. %Vaehington bureau, 207 Hibbs bulld Ing. European bureau, 6 Henrietta street, Covent Garden, ^London. Eastern business office. Rooms 48 to fcO, inclusive. Tribune building, New York city; western business offltfs* Tribune building, Chicago. The A C. Deck with Special Agency, agent# h#* elgn advertising. ■ „ I TELEPHONES Dell (private exchange tusnecllsg #11 departmental. No. 41##. The glow-worm *how* the matin to t»e near, And ‘gin* to pule hi* Ineffectual fire. —llamlet. No Officeseekers at White House In no other country is the chief ex ecutive expected to see and hear ap plicants for office without special in vitation. No chancellor, no premier, anywhere does this, and the determi nation of President Wilson to refer all applicants to the heads of the several executive departments is a plain mat ter of business. # It is simply business sense, and it will stand approval in Congress and | out of it. The President’s statement covers the entire ground. Here it is: “The President regrets that he is obliged to announce that he deems it his duty to decline to see applicants for office in person except when he himself invites the interview. It is his purpose and desire to devote his atten tion very earnestly and very constant ly to the business of the government and the large questions of policy af fecting the whole nation, and he knows from his experiences as govern or of New Jersey (where it fell to him to make innumerable appointments) I that the greater part both of his time and hfci energy will be spent in per sonal interviews with candidates un less he sets an invariable rule in this matter. It is his intention to deal with appointments through the heads of the several executive departments.” This is wholly right and it does not in the least interfere with the “open door.” The door stands open to those whose business is more public than personal—to those who desire in other words to present “large questions of policy affecting the whole nation.” Harmony in the Senate Peace reigns in the democratic party in Washington, even in the Senate. In the Senate caucus of Wednesday Sen ator Martin, one of the old guard, stepped down and out, and Senator Kern stepped into the place of demo cratic leader without a struggle or the expression of dissent on the part of any one. All was satisfactory, har monious and happy. There were no kickers. The older senators accepted the situation without a word of dis sent. Senator Gallinger is to be the minority leader, displacing the more objectionable Penrose. Senator Kern is to select a commit tee of nine democrats to arrange for the reorganization of the committees. | ^hey are to be put in a democratic basis. The older senators will be given all reasonable privileges, and the new ly elected will fill the other places. The Senate democrats will in the words of Speaker Champ Clark “act in unison not only with themselves but with President Wilson.” There is not much comfort in all this for the republicans, especially for the Root Smoot wing of that party. Separating the Sheep From the (toats The democratic party, like the re publican party, contains progressives and reactionaries, tories and radicals, high and Tow tariff men, spoilsmen and cil|il service reformers, trust mag nates and labor unionists, all calling themselves democrats and all pro claiming their devotion to the party. A tinjjid President and titular party chieftain—a man born without a backbone—would no doubt endeavor to consolidate these diverse elements, but President Wilson has, it is plain, re jected the fusion idea. He has se lected a cabinet made up of men who think as he does. There is not a mem ber of the so-called old guard in it. The President is reported to have said that he wanted a cabinet with “snap” as its chief characteristic. He intends to do things, and he wants and has secured 10 men who will work with him. The contest before the President and his official family of 10 is a stern one. Mr. Wilson differs from farmer Presidents in this—he wants » I no compromises. What is right is right —what is wrong is wrong, to his mind, and there is no room for com promises. This seems to be the key note of the policy of the new admin istration, and the President sees that it is to be an effort thal leaves no room for trips to the ends of the coun try or for efforts of a social nature. | Underwood the Majority Leader Two hundred and seventy of the two hundred and ninety House democrats attended the caucus on Wednesday, and harmony prevailed from the start to the hour of adjourn ment. Speaker Clark was unanimously re-elected and he predicted in his speech of acceptance that the Sixty third Congress would act in unison not only with themselves but with Presi dent Wilson. With like unanimity Oscar W'. Un derwood was elected chairman of the ways and means committee and there fore majority leader. Nor was that all. Three new democratic members of that committee were selected, and every one of them is a friend and sup porter of Oscar Underwood. The new members are John S. Garner of Texas, James W. Collier of Mississippi and Augustus C. Stanley of Kentucky. The republican members of the committee will be selected about April 1. The democratic members of the committee will begin at once to re vise the tariff, expecting to have at least several schedules ready to report to a tariff caucus of the party on April 1. The caucus of Wednesday looked with a favorable eye on the budget plan, and the House was asked to cre ate a special committee to consider and report on changes in the rules in order to render the budget plan opera tive. No opposition to the plan cropped out in the caucus. Preparing for Large Crops The cotton planting season in Ala bama begins in April but the farmers are already beginning tfl plant corn ami before the middle of the month a large acreage will be seeded. In the cotton belt ground is being prepared and the indications point to as large a cotton acreage as last year. With the splendid success of corn growing in Alabama within the past two years more attention will be given to this important crop this year than ever. The good work of the Boys’ Corn clubs has been far reaching in effect. The offering of prizes was a great thing and the very rivalry that sprang up has resulted indirectly at least in the addition of vast wealth to the state. With favorable weather conditions Alabama will take a long stride for ward this year as an agricultural state. There are reasons why it should lead all the other southern states. Its agricultural resources are certainly varied enough. The Business District’s Expansion With Birmingham’s rapid growth comes naturally the expansion of the central business district. There has been a very marked expansion within the past 12 months. Not many years ago the business district included only about 20 blocks. Third avenue was the northern boundary; then it ex tended to Fourth avenue, and now Fifth avenue is the northern line. Theybusiness center today may be said to extend from Eighteenth street to Twenty-sixth street and from Mor ris avenue to Fifth avenue. While there are still many residences in one section of the area described, they will soon be replaced by mercantile estab lishments. It is a reasonable predic tion that within less than 10 years’ time Birmingham’s business district will include everything between Seven teenth street and Twenty-sixth street and Capitol park on the north and Avenue E on the south. Wonderful changes arc taking place every year and in less than five years on those blocks on the Southside that are how covered by shacks will be seen well built modern houses. There has been no inflation in the Birmingham realty market in recent years. Last year real estate business was comparatively quiet, but it is be coming very active again and in view of the large building operations and the large industrial development stead ily in progress here, prices will tend to move up rapidly. It will be the part of wisdom, however? to keep down anything like a runaway boom. Real estate will be more and more in de mand, but a conservative advance in values will be best for everybody in the long run. Mr. Taft will not visit Oyster liny on' his way to New Haven. Tliis is good as official. The inauguration is over und’the win ning of the pennant Is the next great task. V. . Washington has as many disorderly ten. deludes as it hns magnificent distances. Washington should endeavor to become a fully civilized community before 1916. Instead of writing It President Wilson is now called upon to make history. Citizen Taft Just did got his budget mes sage In before lie cashed in. There art} many Job hynters to the acre j in Washington at present. \ a Miss Isabell Hagner, who lies been ap pointed social secretary to Mrs. Wood row Wilson, lias taken up her new duties, Because she served in a similar capacity with Mrs. Theodore Roosevelt, and Is a member of an old and distinguished Washington family she Is thoroughly fa miliar with the duties which will devolve upon her. Miss Hagner long has been recognized as a member of Washington's nest exclusive set, and was invaluable to the Roosevelt family. She was employed In the stute department before she be came social secretary to Mrs. Roosevelt, ami when the family left the White House site went hack to her position. She is a sifter of Dr. Frank hagner and of Randall Hagner, both members of Wash ington's cultured society. She is a close frilid of many of tho families which make up the old residential social sets of Washington. Loading a 22-year-old donkey and wear ing a khaki uniform, B. H. Anderson left Portland, Me., to settle an election bet on Theodore Roosevelt by walking to Port land, Ore. Anderson agreed in the event of the defeat of Roosevelt and his run ning mate, Hiram Johnson, to lead the donkey across the continent, and, on tho way, to call on the President of the United States at Washington. Anderson was a page in the House of Representa tives when ex-PresIdent Roosevelt ivrs inaugurated. The donkey carried a ban ner inscribed: "From Portland to Port land—The Man Who Lost His Bet.” "For President in 1916, Theodore Roosevelt."/ Tlie Gates millions arc to be offered Dr. F. F. Friedmann, specialist, who Is said to 1mvo discovered a cure for tuberculosis, for a restoration to health of Henry Rock well Baker, 22 years old, nephew of the lato John W. Gates, to whom the great financier was much endeared. Young Baker is now at Colorado Springs, Col., with his bride of a few months, who was formerly Nina Carlson, a beautiful Young St. Charles girl. She went west with Baker when he sought a climate which would aid in fighting off an advance'^ lung trouble. He would not go unlesB she accompanied him. They were married after they reached the western city. A Cleveland man who makes a practice of choosing his words with care, a prac tice which he lias endeavored to instill Into the family circle, made a memoran dum of the misused words uttered by his son and daughter during a recent break fast. Here is the result: Elegant, 19 times; awful, 11 times; dandy, C times; fierce, 4 times; great, 2 times. When the meal was over the head of the household called the family around him in the li brary and gravely read the totals to them. "Gee, that's fierce!" said the son. "Isn't it awful!" said the daughter. Tlie Gulf Refining company is about to cut a molon. The stock is to be in creased from 115,000,000 to 500,000,000. Each stockholder will get 10O per cent of his present holdings free and he can sub scribe for more of it at 5100 a share. The company is owned and managed by Pitts burg capitalists. Its oil fields are located in Texas, Louisiana and Mexico. The Richmond Times-Dtspatch says there has never been a Baptist President of the United States. We have had eight Episcopalians, six Presbyterians, four Methodists, two members of the Dutch Reformed church, two Congregationalists, two Unitarians and one member of the Christian church. George R. Washburn, editor of the Wine and Spirits Bulletin, declares that steps will be taken at once to secure an in junction against the operation of the Webb law until the question of its consti tutionality had been settled by the United States supreme court. Colonel Roosevelt was studying the col lection of paintings of the cubists or futurists on exhibition In New York when the inauguration ceremonies were going on In Washington. Vermont pays a hedgehog bounty of 15 cents a head. One farmer, it Is said, has a hedgehog preserve and In a single year lie gathered in $3000 In bounties. The President rides a plain bicycle, not a motorcycle. He believes In Jeffersonian simplicity so far as Invention and cus toms will permit. Pujo, tile head of the money trust inves tigation, is now a mere citizen, and is al together harmless, lie was not rc-elccted. The Secretary of Agriculture will be judged by the amount of benzoic acid he permits canners to uset. The Hon. Henry L. Stlmson no longer sits where he can dwarf the river de velopment of Alabama. The price of whalebone lias been reduced to $2 a pound. It formerly was $5. Steel has supplanted it. Indiana will miss Thomas Riley Mar shall, but he will emerge from obscurity four years hence. STREET CAR LITERATURE From the Cleveland Plain Dealer. It Is pointed nut In Collier’s that street cars have intreduced a new kind of "com parative literature," a high sounding title for a modest attempt at terseness and comprehension. The editor goes on to assume that these simply worded direc tions reflect the culture and spirit of the community. Maybe so. For example, the inscription that con fronts the car riding public in New York and Chicago runs as follows: ’’Puy As You Enter Car.” Terse and with no nonsense aliout it. in Philadelphia the inscription reads: ■ "Fare Reudy, Please." Note the "Please.” in Boston there are no condescensions, n j-parleyIhgs with uncultured minds. Two words sre enough, and both are In keep ing with tbe austerity of the Boston in tellect : yPrepayment Car.” / In Cleveland we are at once direct, ex plicit, comprehensive. When we don’t say: "This Is a Pay Euter Car," we say, "Pay As You Leave Car." And when we say the former we add: "Have Your Fare Ready." . In short, Cleveland’s streit cars get them going or coming, and at either end. IN HOTEL LOBBIES A Visitor from Chile Carlos Matas, a prominent young busi ness man of Quillots. province of Val paraiso, Chile. Is in Birmingham as the guest of Roy T. Huffman. "Business conditions In Chile are fair ly satisfactory," said Mr. Matas. “The financial panic In New York In 1907 was felt In my country and for a time busi ness was considerably depressed. But the situation has been Improving steady and the outlook for the future is very bright. “One of the largest business interests of Chile Is the shipment of nitrate for fertiliser to nil parts of the world. The United States Is one of our largest nitrate customers. "Birmingham impresses me most favor ably. I find that it Is a very busy city and also a city of beautiful homes and beautiful landscape effects." The Proposed Music l-'oMlvnl “As soon as the guarantee fund for a music festival is raised a contract will be signed with the Cincinnati orchestra and other details will be worked out as quickly as possible,” said a member of the festival board. “Among the star attractions probably will be 3chumnnn-Heink, who Is not only a great operatic favorite, but without ex ception the most popular concert singer in the United States. She Is in such de mand that not a tenth of the offers that come to her every season can be accepted. In addition to Schumann-Heink the fes tival management intends to engage either Alma Gluck or some other celebrity of her class. "The Cincinnati orchestra is one of the flvo or six first-class symphony or ganizations of tills country. The present conductor, Dr. Gunwald, was one of the great musicians of Rerlln. Ho ranks second to none as a symphony conduc tor.” Knoxville** Progress ^ “Knoxville is one of the most prosper ous cities in the south,” said X-eslle E. Miller, a young Knoxvlllian who is ac tive in the music trade. "A Greater Knoxville movement is be ing started and will probably materialize before the next census. There are sev eral municipalities adjoining Knoxville that will ultimately become a part Of the big city. Our business men are pro gressive and the volume of trade ill Knoxville increases every year.” Mr. Miller was in Birmingham a yenr ago. lie said that he had noticed on his present visit great improvement. “This is a splendid city," said he. ”1 am so much pleased with It from a busi ness point, of view that I am arranging to open here a branch, which will Include sheet music and small Instruments. It will be located in Clark & Jones’ rtano house." — Tlic Turn I p Simla "I think some way should be found tf>\ relieve the condition of the streets in the business district,” said Dr. J. T. Ensley. ‘Wood paving is all right and will give a clean-cut appearance to the downtown streets, but the methods of getting it 'put- are too heroic, ft is in juring business to say nothing of the bad Impression it makes on visitors to the city. "Birmingham is certainly growing fast, but it would grow much faster were it not for the fact that ^t is dug up and replanted about three times a year. Con sidering tile present rate of progress that Is being made on the paving work and the insufficient number of laborers em ployed it will probably be some time yet before our business section presents It3 customary neat appearance." The Rhodes Scholarships All friends of higher education will be interested In an editorial in last Sunday’s New York Sun,” remarked a professional man. "The writer of the article says in part: 'The report of the Rhodes scholarship trust issued re cently shows that the endowment is working smoothly and satisfactorily and may bo expected ultimately to achieve the results which its founder hud in mind in creating it. It is too early as yet to say exactly how much Influence the Rhodes scholars will have upon the public and social life of ther respective lands, but as the years go by and their numbers increase it is safe to assume that throughout the British empire at least the leaven of the culture which association with Ox ford is supposed to give must exercise an appreciable influence on stand ards and- ideals of life. This result may bo anticipated with the more con fidence since the majority of Rhodes scholars seem inclined to adopt an educational career, while a very largo percentage enter the legal nrofession, from the ranks of which in the British colonies, as in this country, men promi nent in public life are most commonly recruited. “ ‘In the Vnited .States it hardly seems likely that the influence of the Rhodes scholars will ever be very marked, nor Is it particularly desirable that It should be. The attitude of an American toward Oxford is necessarily different from that of a citizen of a British colony. The latter looks to Ox ford as to a parent university, an Im portant wheel in the system of which he also is part. We in America have our own university traditions, differ ing from those of English universities, and our own national ideals, and con sequently we look upon a course at Oxford as a desirable finish to an ed ucation, a welcome opportunity for ac quiring at first hand an understanding o/ ideas and Ideals and conditions of life that are different from our own; but to understand and to sympathize with these things is by no means to wish to make them a part of our own national life. “ ‘Attention In this country should be directed to one result of the scholar ships. They have involved a criticism of our educational methods which should not be overlooked. All author ities agree that on the whole the Amer ican Rhodes scholar is at a disadvan tage in competition with the student who has passed through the sixth form of egio of the English public schools, and this is attributed to haste and lack of thoroughness in the groundwork of our education. Few will be found to deny the Justice of this criticism and we should be grateful for the Rhodes scholarship foundation if only because it enables us to test our own educa tional methods In open competition with those of another country,' ” The New Administration “President Wilson Is making a good sturt.” said Charles F. Downey of Phil adelphia. "I passed through Washing ton Monday but did not stop over because I did not care to be in the crush. “I have been a voter for some years, but my first democratic ballot was cast last November. I had not been much of a republican, but I voted for McKinley , in 1896, which was the year I' became of I age. My second vote in a presidential election was given to the ticket headed by Wilson and Marshall. “Mr. Wilson’s inaugural address was certainly a classic and from^what I have read in the papers the new President lias taken hold of his arduous duties in a very businesslike way. I have heard that he was a pronounced civil service reform er. Officeseekers may not think so well of him for that, but I am confident the great majority of people believe in the e ivll service law. Men should vote from patriotic principle without any regard for political spoils.” Spring Business "We have had exceptional activity in business for eight or nine months and I believe we will have a good deal of pros perity between now ami summer,” said Alex F. Newtand of Chicago, "'phero is a lull In some lines of trade Just now. The political changes in Washington may account for It, but I do not think there is as much in this as pessimists try to make out. I predict that by the middle 6f April business wfll be as brisk as It was last fall. "If the crop reports in June look favor able to big harvests a genuine boom will start up Just as it did in June of last year. With abundant harvests nothing can keep business back." AT THE TABLE OF A KING From the Los Angeles’ Tribune. Of late years the catering in all royal establishment* has been much more elaborate and costly than It used to be. This does not inepn, how'ever, that monarehs are becoming greater gour mands than they were. As a matter of fact two of the greatest monarehs in Europe, King George and the Czar, live very simply, but at the tables at the English and Russian courts aro spread dally the most expensive products of modern culinary art. M. Cedard, the chief chef of Bucking ham Palace, has a world-wide reputation. Ho has a salary of $12,500 a year, while his assistant Is paid $1000 a year. Under them Is a staff of ten highly trained cooks. Every night at Buckingham Palace, or at any of the royal residences where King George may he, his majesty sits down to a dinner that costs at the low est estimate $10 a plate. His dinner usually consists of a little clear soup, a piece of grilled sole or halibut or mullet, a slice of roast game and an Ice. Some times Ills majesty's dinner is far more ^restricted. One of hie most noted of the regular banquets at, Buckingham Palace is the dlnnej^given on Derby Day. The Derby dinner was instituted by the late King, and the menu, which is nearly always the same, was ,drawn up by King Ed ward. The real wonder of the Derby dinner Is r.ot so much the dishes as the wines. These are vintages which are served on no other occasion except during the visit of a crowned head to the English court. They are the rarest and best In tlite Eng land royal cellars, some of them being a possession exclusive to the English sovereign. The most valuable are a port, 1812. and a Madeira. 1816. The Kaiser Is perhaps the greatest gas tronome among European monarehs to day. Caviare, the real Russian article, recently has been iojroduced as a regu lar Item In the German royal menus. Among other costly dishes in favor at the German court are salmon cutlets, Jugged hare, grouse cutlets and aspara gus. / The catering in the Czar's household is done on a more elaborato and costly scale than in any other European royal establishment. There are seldom less than 15 courses and each Is costly. A souffle of pheasants' eggs Is a favorite at the Russian royal table, and costa about $5 a plate. Grouse a la Czarina is another favorite and extremely costly dish. It is said that the Czar's dinners cost on an average about $10 a plate every night, but tills figure Includes the cost of great banquets, which are frequent at the Russian court. At these banquets the cost of the dinner Is $50 to $73 for each guest. The average cost at the English court of the royal dinner Is about $25 a plate, Including the cost of all great state ban quets Rnd the entertainments given to foreign monarehs. Some royal banquets have cost Immense sums. One of the Inost expensive was King George’s corona tion banquet, which was estimated to have cost $120 a plate. These figures in clude the cost of the floral decorations. There is np meal about which monurchs exhibit so great a variety of taste as breakfast. King George takes a more substantial breakfast, than any other King. It consists of fish, game, some times "angels on >’0rseback” (oysters til grilled bacon) always plenty of fruit, but never Jam of any kind. The King of Spain breakfasts on cof fee and to^st. The Czar usually has tea and thin toast and the Kaiser's breakfast generally consists of chocolate and toast ed milk cakes. ___— TOOK NO CHANCES From the Philadelphia Telegitipli. Robert AV. Chambers, the author, says tliat a certain man. who lives In a sub urban town In North Jersey, is no beauty. He Is not only long and angulhr, but has a face and complexion that neither pale blue, sky yelllow ,nor any other color in dress effect will attune to. One day, according to Mr. Chambers, tho aforesaid party called to see an ac quaintance and while waiting for him to appear In the parlor was entertained by the little S-year-old son. "Well, what do you think of mo?’’, asked the caller, after conversing several min utes. Instead of replying the boy turned aside and thoughtfully hung his head. "You haven’t answered me,’ smilingly persisted the caller. "Aren’t you going to tell me what you thfnk of me?" “No, sir,” returned the ydungster, "Do you suppose that I want to get a licking?” LISTEN! From the New York Sun. What’s the matter with tli^glrls,these days? Can't they hold the attention of any one? Is It necessary to keep repeat ing the word "listen” in an ordinary talk where the "talkee’ is all attention? A miss Of perhaps 17 years asked for a cer tain brand .of face powder In ft drug Btore recently. This Is a fair account of what she said: Listen! I want a box of yuh face powder. Lltsen! Do Jjou keep that there kind that comes With—with a mlr r< r? You know the kind X mean. Listen! What shade do you think I need? Is Ruychel (Rachel) too dark? Listen—” That was as much as I heard. But it was enough. It a girl has a toothache, or a wai t on her Anger, or a headachd, it is "Listen, liBtett, listen,” to the patient ' !’ in many cases Impatient drug clerk. Xu miss, it seems, considers her vocabu lary up to date unless It Is burdened with “listen.” Girls, take a tip. Put ’/listen” on the shelf. , - . 0 . . ' _ A DRIFT WITH THE TIMES __ A MAN YOU’VE MET. Who is it Oils this world with woe? The knocker; V. ho never seems the good to know? The knocker. Who lakes great pains in running down His trusting neighbor's fair renown7 Who doth on all our ventures frown? The knocker. Who spends his time in picking flaws? The knocker; Who ne'er speaks well of any cause? The knocker. Who keeps our bosoms brimmed with sighs? Who brings the tear-drops to our eyes? Who won’t be missed when once he dies? The knocker. SIDESTEPPING A TOUCH. "Sir, could you assist a heart bowed down?” \ "I'm afraid not. I’m not a heart spe cialist." » SIGNIFICANT. “She wouldn't let you kiss her, eh?" "No. She said it wasn't sanitary.” “Umph! She doesn't care much about you, son.” SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION. "A jukesmlth fvants to know what be comes of the hole In a doughnut when you eat the doughnut?" "That's simple enough. The hole re mains suspended In the air, but you can't see It." -it SOMETHING ELSE TO THINK ABOUT. She used to call poor h^bby up Ten times a day and ask him how He did, but that was years ago— Bridge parties keep her busy now. CAN TOU BEAT IT? "Gribble is the worst pessimist I know." "Why do sou say that?” "I met him this morning, so rich in joy ous suggestions of spring, and what do you suppose he said?” “I can’t imagine.” "He said, 'Well, we'll soon be bothered with files again.’ ” v A SMOOTH ONE. Si Witherbee would never drink And ne'er was known to swear; Nor would he smoke, but do not think His soul waS white and fair. Although he wore a pious look And prayed With right good wjjl, At heart he was as great a crook As ever tapped a till. FAVORITE FICTION. “We Have Come To Stay." “The Little Darling Is a Perfect Pic ture of His Father.” "I'm Glad They Didn't Invite Me to Their Party; I wouldn’t Have.Gone, Any way.” “Ves, That's a Sure Sign of Rain; in Twenty Years I've Never Known It to Fail.” "Waiter. I'm Sorry I Can’t Make It a Quarter, But I’ve Nothing Except This Dime niul a J’jo Bill.'' "I'm Sure We ShHll Be Delighted to Hear the Story; Mr. Borus; Go Ahead." "1 Thunk You for Calling My Attention lo That Grammatical Error, Professor. — Chicago Tribune. THOSE ANCIENT WORTHIES. King Solomon would join no lodge— He feared that on returning A thousand wives would wait for him, A thousand candles burning. —Peoria Journal. Old Jonah was a mocUist chap As ever took to sailin’; He never gave a picture-talk On "How I Went a-Whalln’i" —Cleveland Plain Dealer. Old Noah was a sailor bold, A navigator tireless, And got about quite well, we're told, Before the days of wirelesB. HAS A GOOD EYE, THOUGH. /"There goes a man who reads all the lime, yet I dare say he couldn’t tell us who wrote ‘David CopperlieUl.’ " "Well! Well! AA’hat on earth does he read?” "Gas meters.” » HOW ONE GOT IN. St. Peter settin’ at de gate; Nigger passln' by— • St. Peter up an’ sez ter him "How did you come ter die?" "Go ax de man wliut belt de gun A-p’lntfn’ at dat roos'; Go ax de dog whut helt my foot An' wouldn't turn hit loose!" "An' so,” St. Peter sez to him; "You wus kotcli In de ae'?" Dat nigger turnt an’ looked at him An' spon's: "Hit Is a fac'!'' “Down in de pit den you intis' g> Per stealfn' uv dat hen!” Dat nigger scratch his hald right hard— St. Peter had him den! But d'reelcly liftin’ up his arms, He flop ’em on his side, An' 'zactly like a rooster crow Three times out loud lie cried! St. Peter liung his luJHl in sliame— He 'membered uv his sin— An’ grabbln’ up a great big key He let dat nigger in! • —New Orleans Picayune, INTOLERANT ATTITUDE. “Brindlesburg Is an old-fashioned town.” "Ante-bellum manners and all that sort of tiling?" “Well, not exactly that, but we still have a great many people here who look on the ‘angleworm wiggle’- us nn invention ot the devil.” WHY HE'S FAMOUS. There was a post-impresslonlst Who daubed until lie fainted. And no one in the whole wide world Could tell what 'twas lie painted. PAUL COOK. HOW FAMOUS FASHIONS STARTED From the New York Eveuing Sun. IIAT many of the fashions which became famous in their day and I have come down to our own were due to chance or accident is now a mat ter of history. Interesting are the stories told of the odd origin of certain styles which an unsuspecting world probably thought were intentionally chosen for their beauty or conltort. The courts of Europe have been espe cially noted for their sheeplike following of an idea introduced by the reigning monarch when frequently that idea was evolved to conceal one of the ruler s physical defects. One of the kings of France came to the throne a child of 10; he wore his 'hair in long ringlets all about the head. Immediately men and women eoiffed themselves likewise. The same monarch was bald at 150, and being a lover of all that was beautiful and fem inine, he ordered the elaborate wig which was taken up and reveled in during many reigns. As for the hair being caught in the back and held with a small bow of rib bon, the stylo beloved of men several hundred years ago, little girls are said to have originated the idea, and acci dentally. One day a court leader hap pened to be visiting and his hostess was late arriving at the salon. The young man fell asleep and the* two children of the noble lady, creeping in, saw* the guest and to play & trick tied his hair all to gether. The little girls, fearing to be' catigkt, ran away and the young man never knew of the curious picture the back of his w ig presented. Other visitors I discovered the garnish, laughed at the! ribbon, and the young count declared j barefacedly that he had so fastened his | hair and meant to keep it always so; from his neck and shoulders. Within j a few days the entire nobility found the | scheme an excellent one and adopted the idea. j The pannier was introduced by a queen to cover a misplaced hip hone. It was' an actress who Anally threw the pannier aside after it hud been fashionable half a century. One evening, .lust before she was to appear on the stage, the actress discovered that one pannier was en tirely drenched in oil; the dress, It was thought, was spoiled by n rival. The actress and her maid quickly thought the matter over, and both to gether quickly tore off the offending member* of the costume. The actress donned the dress, but, of course, It pre sented a ridiculous appearance. So the other pannier was removed, and the Him young woman appeared on the stage more supple and graceful than ever. The audience at Arst gasped, then admired, and the next day all of London (the scene took place*there) decided to Imi tate the actress and her severe skirt. The origin of the beauty spot is no less interesting. The Duchess de Mont morillon suffered with a boil on the cheek and put on a bit of black mixture over night said to bo healing. In tho morning she either forgot to wash her face or did not use enough care—so the stony goes—and the Inattentive or malicious servant allowed her mistress to appeal* "before the world” with her face spotted. Powdered and perfumed, Montmorillon received her callers, who found the black spot charming, so much so that before night they had anointed their faces with the black ointment. To come down to present times, .the feather boa was originated less than 20 years ago in Boston. In an idle mo ment an apprentice in a feather establish ment sewed the discarded hits and ends of poor plumes together and strung them about her neck. The other girls laughed at the trimming, the head of the depart ment'found it pretty, and the order was given that no castaways In the furm of plumes be thrown in the waste-basket. All parts of the plume were kept, sewed on to a rlbbo^, the entire tiling curled and 'long ribbon loops put at each end. and the feather boa was the success of the season. v Tlie uncurled plume, so fashionable in Paris a few years ago and revived re cently in another manner, was purely the result of an accident. The IMggest race of the year, the Grand l*fft d’Auteuil, was on, and women were there dressed within an Inch of their lives. A tearful rainstorm came up and people were drenched. Plumes that had left Home finely curled were wet and each spiral stood apart. It was not pretty, the ef fect, but it was original, and one of tno milliners, not wishing to take the '.rouble to have the plumes of all his customers recurled, advised them to allow the gar nish to remain as It was., That week following the Grand Prlx d’Auteuil saw nothing but steaight spiral plumes, and women liked them so much that before the following Sunday, when tlie Grand Prix de Longchamp was to-be, women who had curled plumes had the wave taken out, so that they might ap pear like the other fashionables. For more than a year the defrissee plume was sought. As a whole, fashion is like In this instance, only the result of an ac cident. Sometimes it is the outcome of an experiment. But like the women, it is capricious and changeable and capable of almost anything within reason. AMERICAN OPERA IN ENGLAND From the New York World. ^ To the champions of opera in English the production of Mr. Damrosch's "Cy rano'' at tho Metropolitan is a cheering sign that their heart's desire may yet he fulfilled. Their hopes have been dashed so often by untoward events as to dis courage less zealous patriots-. Mr. Converse's "Tho Pipe of Desire," Prof. Parker’s "Mona" and Victor Her bert's "Natoma,” instead of each usher ing in a new era in opera, were succes sive steps toward disappointment. P.ut the failure would have been tlic same if the three orlpras liud been sung in Ital ian, perman or French, in each case the music was mere than passably written and sung, but it failed to capture the public's fancy. The merits of all three operas commanded respect, but respect ful praise of a new composer's work Is not the material needed to All an opera house night after night. Good music will often redeem a poor libretto. No language will carry bad music, but good music will carry any lan guage that can be sung. The words of some operas dear to music-lovers are a medley of nonsense and Indifferent verse; no one would seriously read them through for their literary beauties. It is not what the singers say but what they sing that counts In the end. ^ When an American composer is found to write an opera that is a masterpiece, the question of opera sung in English will settle Itself. It can never be settled in adVtfnce without tho composer's help, not even to gratify the demands of national pride. THE TIGER By AVilllam Blake. Tiger, tiger, burning bright In the forests of the night, ' AVhat immortal hand or eye Could frame thy fearful symmetry? In what distant deeps or skies Burnt the lire of thine eyes? On what wings dare he aspire? AA'hat the hand dare seize the fire? And what shoulder and wEat art Could twist the sinews of thy heart? And, when thy heart began to beat, AA'hat dread hand and what dread feet? AA’hat the hammer? What the chain? In what furnace was thy brain? What the anvil? AVhat dread grasp Dare its deadly terrors clasp? . .• AA’hen the stars threw dawn their spears. And watered heaven with their tears, Did He smile His work to sec? Did He who made the lamb make thee? Tiger, tiger,_ burning bright In the fores'ts of the night, AVhat immortal hand or eye Dare frames thy fearful symmetry?