The Birmingham age-herald. [volume], March 07, 1913, Page 4, Image 4

About The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950

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THE AGE-HERALD
E. W. BAHKETT..Editor
Entered at the .Birmingham* Ala.,
postol’fico as second class matl-r uuder
act of Congress March 3, is?:*.
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sentatives of The Age-Heraid in Us
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without its authors name. Rejecteu
manuscript will not be returned unless
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Remittances can be made at current
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not be responsible for money sent
through the mails. Address,
THE AGE-HEltALD,
liirmilignum, Ala.
%Vaehington bureau, 207 Hibbs bulld
Ing.
European bureau, 6 Henrietta street,
Covent Garden, ^London.
Eastern business office. Rooms 48 to
fcO, inclusive. Tribune building, New
York city; western business offltfs*
Tribune building, Chicago. The A C.
Deck with Special Agency, agent# h#*
elgn advertising.
■ „ I
TELEPHONES
Dell (private exchange tusnecllsg #11
departmental. No. 41##.
The glow-worm *how* the matin to t»e
near,
And ‘gin* to pule hi* Ineffectual fire.
—llamlet.
No Officeseekers at White House
In no other country is the chief ex
ecutive expected to see and hear ap
plicants for office without special in
vitation. No chancellor, no premier,
anywhere does this, and the determi
nation of President Wilson to refer all
applicants to the heads of the several
executive departments is a plain mat
ter of business. #
It is simply business sense, and it
will stand approval in Congress and |
out of it. The President’s statement
covers the entire ground. Here it is:
“The President regrets that he is
obliged to announce that he deems it
his duty to decline to see applicants
for office in person except when he
himself invites the interview. It is his
purpose and desire to devote his atten
tion very earnestly and very constant
ly to the business of the government
and the large questions of policy af
fecting the whole nation, and he
knows from his experiences as govern
or of New Jersey (where it fell to him
to make innumerable appointments) I
that the greater part both of his time
and hfci energy will be spent in per
sonal interviews with candidates un
less he sets an invariable rule in this
matter. It is his intention to deal with
appointments through the heads of the
several executive departments.”
This is wholly right and it does not
in the least interfere with the “open
door.” The door stands open to those
whose business is more public than
personal—to those who desire in other
words to present “large questions of
policy affecting the whole nation.”
Harmony in the Senate
Peace reigns in the democratic party
in Washington, even in the Senate. In
the Senate caucus of Wednesday Sen
ator Martin, one of the old guard,
stepped down and out, and Senator
Kern stepped into the place of demo
cratic leader without a struggle or the
expression of dissent on the part of
any one. All was satisfactory, har
monious and happy. There were no
kickers. The older senators accepted
the situation without a word of dis
sent. Senator Gallinger is to be the
minority leader, displacing the more
objectionable Penrose.
Senator Kern is to select a commit
tee of nine democrats to arrange for
the reorganization of the committees. |
^hey are to be put in a democratic
basis. The older senators will be given
all reasonable privileges, and the new
ly elected will fill the other places.
The Senate democrats will in the
words of Speaker Champ Clark “act
in unison not only with themselves
but with President Wilson.” There is
not much comfort in all this for the
republicans, especially for the Root
Smoot wing of that party.
Separating the Sheep From the (toats
The democratic party, like the re
publican party, contains progressives
and reactionaries, tories and radicals,
high and Tow tariff men, spoilsmen
and cil|il service reformers, trust mag
nates and labor unionists, all calling
themselves democrats and all pro
claiming their devotion to the party.
A tinjjid President and titular party
chieftain—a man born without a
backbone—would no doubt endeavor to
consolidate these diverse elements, but
President Wilson has, it is plain, re
jected the fusion idea. He has se
lected a cabinet made up of men who
think as he does. There is not a mem
ber of the so-called old guard in it.
The President is reported to have said
that he wanted a cabinet with “snap”
as its chief characteristic. He intends
to do things, and he wants and has
secured 10 men who will work with
him.
The contest before the President
and his official family of 10 is a
stern one. Mr. Wilson differs from
farmer Presidents in this—he wants
»
I no compromises. What is right is right
—what is wrong is wrong, to his
mind, and there is no room for com
promises. This seems to be the key
note of the policy of the new admin
istration, and the President sees that
it is to be an effort thal leaves no
room for trips to the ends of the coun
try or for efforts of a social nature.
| Underwood the Majority Leader
Two hundred and seventy of the
two hundred and ninety House
democrats attended the caucus on
Wednesday, and harmony prevailed
from the start to the hour of adjourn
ment. Speaker Clark was unanimously
re-elected and he predicted in his
speech of acceptance that the Sixty
third Congress would act in unison not
only with themselves but with Presi
dent Wilson.
With like unanimity Oscar W'. Un
derwood was elected chairman of the
ways and means committee and there
fore majority leader. Nor was that
all. Three new democratic members of
that committee were selected, and
every one of them is a friend and sup
porter of Oscar Underwood. The new
members are John S. Garner of Texas,
James W. Collier of Mississippi and
Augustus C. Stanley of Kentucky. The
republican members of the committee
will be selected about April 1.
The democratic members of the
committee will begin at once to re
vise the tariff, expecting to have at
least several schedules ready to report
to a tariff caucus of the party on
April 1.
The caucus of Wednesday looked
with a favorable eye on the budget
plan, and the House was asked to cre
ate a special committee to consider
and report on changes in the rules in
order to render the budget plan opera
tive. No opposition to the plan cropped
out in the caucus.
Preparing for Large Crops
The cotton planting season in Ala
bama begins in April but the farmers
are already beginning tfl plant corn
ami before the middle of the month a
large acreage will be seeded. In the
cotton belt ground is being prepared
and the indications point to as large a
cotton acreage as last year.
With the splendid success of corn
growing in Alabama within the past
two years more attention will be given
to this important crop this year than
ever. The good work of the Boys’ Corn
clubs has been far reaching in effect.
The offering of prizes was a great
thing and the very rivalry that sprang
up has resulted indirectly at least in
the addition of vast wealth to the
state.
With favorable weather conditions
Alabama will take a long stride for
ward this year as an agricultural
state. There are reasons why it should
lead all the other southern states. Its
agricultural resources are certainly
varied enough.
The Business District’s Expansion
With Birmingham’s rapid growth
comes naturally the expansion of the
central business district. There has
been a very marked expansion within
the past 12 months. Not many years
ago the business district included only
about 20 blocks. Third avenue was
the northern boundary; then it ex
tended to Fourth avenue, and now
Fifth avenue is the northern line.
Theybusiness center today may be
said to extend from Eighteenth street
to Twenty-sixth street and from Mor
ris avenue to Fifth avenue. While
there are still many residences in one
section of the area described, they will
soon be replaced by mercantile estab
lishments. It is a reasonable predic
tion that within less than 10 years’
time Birmingham’s business district
will include everything between Seven
teenth street and Twenty-sixth street
and Capitol park on the north and
Avenue E on the south. Wonderful
changes arc taking place every year
and in less than five years on those
blocks on the Southside that are how
covered by shacks will be seen well
built modern houses.
There has been no inflation in the
Birmingham realty market in recent
years. Last year real estate business
was comparatively quiet, but it is be
coming very active again and in view
of the large building operations and
the large industrial development stead
ily in progress here, prices will tend to
move up rapidly. It will be the part
of wisdom, however? to keep down
anything like a runaway boom. Real
estate will be more and more in de
mand, but a conservative advance in
values will be best for everybody in
the long run.
Mr. Taft will not visit Oyster liny on'
his way to New Haven. Tliis is good as
official.
The inauguration is over und’the win
ning of the pennant Is the next great
task. V. .
Washington has as many disorderly ten.
deludes as it hns magnificent distances.
Washington should endeavor to become
a fully civilized community before 1916.
Instead of writing It President Wilson
is now called upon to make history.
Citizen Taft Just did got his budget mes
sage In before lie cashed in.
There art} many Job hynters to the acre j
in Washington at present.
\ a
Miss Isabell Hagner, who lies been ap
pointed social secretary to Mrs. Wood
row Wilson, lias taken up her new duties,
Because she served in a similar capacity
with Mrs. Theodore Roosevelt, and Is a
member of an old and distinguished
Washington family she Is thoroughly fa
miliar with the duties which will devolve
upon her. Miss Hagner long has been
recognized as a member of Washington's
nest exclusive set, and was invaluable to
the Roosevelt family. She was employed
In the stute department before she be
came social secretary to Mrs. Roosevelt,
ami when the family left the White House
site went hack to her position. She is
a sifter of Dr. Frank hagner and of
Randall Hagner, both members of Wash
ington's cultured society. She is a close
frilid of many of tho families which
make up the old residential social sets
of Washington.
Loading a 22-year-old donkey and wear
ing a khaki uniform, B. H. Anderson left
Portland, Me., to settle an election bet
on Theodore Roosevelt by walking to Port
land, Ore. Anderson agreed in the event
of the defeat of Roosevelt and his run
ning mate, Hiram Johnson, to lead the
donkey across the continent, and, on tho
way, to call on the President of the
United States at Washington. Anderson
was a page in the House of Representa
tives when ex-PresIdent Roosevelt ivrs
inaugurated. The donkey carried a ban
ner inscribed: "From Portland to Port
land—The Man Who Lost His Bet.” "For
President in 1916, Theodore Roosevelt."/
Tlie Gates millions arc to be offered Dr.
F. F. Friedmann, specialist, who Is said
to 1mvo discovered a cure for tuberculosis,
for a restoration to health of Henry Rock
well Baker, 22 years old, nephew of the
lato John W. Gates, to whom the great
financier was much endeared. Young
Baker is now at Colorado Springs, Col.,
with his bride of a few months, who was
formerly Nina Carlson, a beautiful Young
St. Charles girl. She went west with
Baker when he sought a climate which
would aid in fighting off an advance'^
lung trouble. He would not go unlesB
she accompanied him. They were married
after they reached the western city.
A Cleveland man who makes a practice
of choosing his words with care, a prac
tice which he lias endeavored to instill
Into the family circle, made a memoran
dum of the misused words uttered by his
son and daughter during a recent break
fast. Here is the result: Elegant, 19
times; awful, 11 times; dandy, C times;
fierce, 4 times; great, 2 times. When the
meal was over the head of the household
called the family around him in the li
brary and gravely read the totals to
them. "Gee, that's fierce!" said the son.
"Isn't it awful!" said the daughter.
Tlie Gulf Refining company is about to
cut a molon. The stock is to be in
creased from 115,000,000 to 500,000,000. Each
stockholder will get 10O per cent of his
present holdings free and he can sub
scribe for more of it at 5100 a share. The
company is owned and managed by Pitts
burg capitalists. Its oil fields are located
in Texas, Louisiana and Mexico.
The Richmond Times-Dtspatch says
there has never been a Baptist President
of the United States. We have had eight
Episcopalians, six Presbyterians, four
Methodists, two members of the Dutch
Reformed church, two Congregationalists,
two Unitarians and one member of the
Christian church.
George R. Washburn, editor of the Wine
and Spirits Bulletin, declares that steps
will be taken at once to secure an in
junction against the operation of the
Webb law until the question of its consti
tutionality had been settled by the United
States supreme court.
Colonel Roosevelt was studying the col
lection of paintings of the cubists or
futurists on exhibition In New York when
the inauguration ceremonies were going
on In Washington.
Vermont pays a hedgehog bounty of 15
cents a head. One farmer, it Is said, has
a hedgehog preserve and In a single year
lie gathered in $3000 In bounties.
The President rides a plain bicycle, not
a motorcycle. He believes In Jeffersonian
simplicity so far as Invention and cus
toms will permit.
Pujo, tile head of the money trust inves
tigation, is now a mere citizen, and is al
together harmless, lie was not rc-elccted.
The Secretary of Agriculture will be
judged by the amount of benzoic acid
he permits canners to uset.
The Hon. Henry L. Stlmson no longer
sits where he can dwarf the river de
velopment of Alabama.
The price of whalebone lias been reduced
to $2 a pound. It formerly was $5. Steel
has supplanted it.
Indiana will miss Thomas Riley Mar
shall, but he will emerge from obscurity
four years hence.
STREET CAR LITERATURE
From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
It Is pointed nut In Collier’s that street
cars have intreduced a new kind of "com
parative literature," a high sounding title
for a modest attempt at terseness and
comprehension. The editor goes on to
assume that these simply worded direc
tions reflect the culture and spirit of the
community.
Maybe so.
For example, the inscription that con
fronts the car riding public in New York
and Chicago runs as follows:
’’Puy As You Enter Car.”
Terse and with no nonsense aliout it.
in Philadelphia the inscription reads:
■ "Fare Reudy, Please."
Note the "Please.”
in Boston there are no condescensions,
n j-parleyIhgs with uncultured minds. Two
words sre enough, and both are In keep
ing with tbe austerity of the Boston in
tellect :
yPrepayment Car.” /
In Cleveland we are at once direct, ex
plicit, comprehensive.
When we don’t say: "This Is a Pay
Euter Car," we say, "Pay As You Leave
Car." And when we say the former we
add: "Have Your Fare Ready."
. In short, Cleveland’s streit cars get them
going or coming, and at either end.
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
A Visitor from Chile
Carlos Matas, a prominent young busi
ness man of Quillots. province of Val
paraiso, Chile. Is in Birmingham as the
guest of Roy T. Huffman.
"Business conditions In Chile are fair
ly satisfactory," said Mr. Matas. “The
financial panic In New York In 1907 was
felt In my country and for a time busi
ness was considerably depressed. But
the situation has been Improving steady
and the outlook for the future is very
bright.
“One of the largest business interests
of Chile Is the shipment of nitrate for
fertiliser to nil parts of the world. The
United States Is one of our largest nitrate
customers.
"Birmingham impresses me most favor
ably. I find that it Is a very busy city
and also a city of beautiful homes and
beautiful landscape effects."
The Proposed Music l-'oMlvnl
“As soon as the guarantee fund for a
music festival is raised a contract will
be signed with the Cincinnati orchestra
and other details will be worked out as
quickly as possible,” said a member of
the festival board.
“Among the star attractions probably
will be 3chumnnn-Heink, who Is not only
a great operatic favorite, but without ex
ception the most popular concert singer
in the United States. She Is in such de
mand that not a tenth of the offers that
come to her every season can be accepted.
In addition to Schumann-Heink the fes
tival management intends to engage either
Alma Gluck or some other celebrity of
her class.
"The Cincinnati orchestra is one of
the flvo or six first-class symphony or
ganizations of tills country. The present
conductor, Dr. Gunwald, was one of the
great musicians of Rerlln. Ho ranks
second to none as a symphony conduc
tor.”
Knoxville** Progress ^
“Knoxville is one of the most prosper
ous cities in the south,” said X-eslle E.
Miller, a young Knoxvlllian who is ac
tive in the music trade.
"A Greater Knoxville movement is be
ing started and will probably materialize
before the next census. There are sev
eral municipalities adjoining Knoxville
that will ultimately become a part Of
the big city. Our business men are pro
gressive and the volume of trade ill
Knoxville increases every year.”
Mr. Miller was in Birmingham a yenr
ago. lie said that he had noticed on
his present visit great improvement.
“This is a splendid city," said he. ”1
am so much pleased with It from a busi
ness point, of view that I am arranging
to open here a branch, which will Include
sheet music and small Instruments. It
will be located in Clark & Jones’ rtano
house." —
Tlic Turn I p Simla
"I think some way should be found
tf>\ relieve the condition of the streets
in the business district,” said Dr. J. T.
Ensley. ‘Wood paving is all right and
will give a clean-cut appearance to the
downtown streets, but the methods of
getting it 'put- are too heroic, ft is in
juring business to say nothing of the
bad Impression it makes on visitors to
the city.
"Birmingham is certainly growing fast,
but it would grow much faster were it
not for the fact that ^t is dug up and
replanted about three times a year. Con
sidering tile present rate of progress that
Is being made on the paving work and
the insufficient number of laborers em
ployed it will probably be some time yet
before our business section presents It3
customary neat appearance."
The Rhodes Scholarships
All friends of higher education will
be interested In an editorial in last
Sunday’s New York Sun,” remarked a
professional man. "The writer of the
article says in part: 'The report of
the Rhodes scholarship trust issued re
cently shows that the endowment is
working smoothly and satisfactorily
and may bo expected ultimately to
achieve the results which its founder
hud in mind in creating it. It is too
early as yet to say exactly how much
Influence the Rhodes scholars will have
upon the public and social life of ther
respective lands, but as the years go
by and their numbers increase it is
safe to assume that throughout the
British empire at least the leaven of
the culture which association with Ox
ford is supposed to give must exercise
an appreciable influence on stand
ards and- ideals of life. This result
may bo anticipated with the more con
fidence since the majority of Rhodes
scholars seem inclined to adopt an
educational career, while a very largo
percentage enter the legal nrofession,
from the ranks of which in the British
colonies, as in this country, men promi
nent in public life are most commonly
recruited.
“ ‘In the Vnited .States it hardly
seems likely that the influence of the
Rhodes scholars will ever be very
marked, nor Is it particularly desirable
that It should be. The attitude of an
American toward Oxford is necessarily
different from that of a citizen of a
British colony. The latter looks to Ox
ford as to a parent university, an Im
portant wheel in the system of which
he also is part. We in America have
our own university traditions, differ
ing from those of English universities,
and our own national ideals, and con
sequently we look upon a course at
Oxford as a desirable finish to an ed
ucation, a welcome opportunity for ac
quiring at first hand an understanding
o/ ideas and Ideals and conditions of
life that are different from our own;
but to understand and to sympathize
with these things is by no means to
wish to make them a part of our own
national life.
“ ‘Attention In this country should be
directed to one result of the scholar
ships. They have involved a criticism
of our educational methods which
should not be overlooked. All author
ities agree that on the whole the Amer
ican Rhodes scholar is at a disadvan
tage in competition with the student
who has passed through the sixth form
of egio of the English public schools,
and this is attributed to haste and lack
of thoroughness in the groundwork of
our education. Few will be found to
deny the Justice of this criticism and
we should be grateful for the Rhodes
scholarship foundation if only because
it enables us to test our own educa
tional methods In open competition
with those of another country,' ”
The New Administration
“President Wilson Is making a good
sturt.” said Charles F. Downey of Phil
adelphia. "I passed through Washing
ton Monday but did not stop over because
I did not care to be in the crush.
“I have been a voter for some years,
but my first democratic ballot was cast
last November. I had not been much of
a republican, but I voted for McKinley ,
in 1896, which was the year I' became of I
age. My second vote in a presidential
election was given to the ticket headed
by Wilson and Marshall.
“Mr. Wilson’s inaugural address was
certainly a classic and from^what I have
read in the papers the new President lias
taken hold of his arduous duties in a
very businesslike way. I have heard that
he was a pronounced civil service reform
er. Officeseekers may not think so well
of him for that, but I am confident the
great majority of people believe in the
e ivll service law. Men should vote from
patriotic principle without any regard for
political spoils.”
Spring Business
"We have had exceptional activity in
business for eight or nine months and I
believe we will have a good deal of pros
perity between now ami summer,” said
Alex F. Newtand of Chicago, "'phero
is a lull In some lines of trade Just now.
The political changes in Washington may
account for It, but I do not think there
is as much in this as pessimists try to
make out. I predict that by the middle
6f April business wfll be as brisk as It
was last fall.
"If the crop reports in June look favor
able to big harvests a genuine boom will
start up Just as it did in June of last
year. With abundant harvests nothing
can keep business back."
AT THE TABLE OF A KING
From the Los Angeles’ Tribune.
Of late years the catering in all royal
establishment* has been much more
elaborate and costly than It used to be.
This does not inepn, how'ever, that
monarehs are becoming greater gour
mands than they were. As a matter of
fact two of the greatest monarehs in
Europe, King George and the Czar, live
very simply, but at the tables at the
English and Russian courts aro spread
dally the most expensive products of
modern culinary art.
M. Cedard, the chief chef of Bucking
ham Palace, has a world-wide reputation.
Ho has a salary of $12,500 a year, while
his assistant Is paid $1000 a year. Under
them Is a staff of ten highly trained
cooks.
Every night at Buckingham Palace,
or at any of the royal residences where
King George may he, his majesty sits
down to a dinner that costs at the low
est estimate $10 a plate. His dinner
usually consists of a little clear soup, a
piece of grilled sole or halibut or mullet,
a slice of roast game and an Ice. Some
times Ills majesty's dinner is far more
^restricted.
One of hie most noted of the regular
banquets at, Buckingham Palace is the
dlnnej^given on Derby Day. The Derby
dinner was instituted by the late King,
and the menu, which is nearly always
the same, was ,drawn up by King Ed
ward.
The real wonder of the Derby dinner
Is r.ot so much the dishes as the wines.
These are vintages which are served on
no other occasion except during the visit
of a crowned head to the English court.
They are the rarest and best In tlite Eng
land royal cellars, some of them being
a possession exclusive to the English
sovereign. The most valuable are a port,
1812. and a Madeira. 1816.
The Kaiser Is perhaps the greatest gas
tronome among European monarehs to
day. Caviare, the real Russian article,
recently has been iojroduced as a regu
lar Item In the German royal menus.
Among other costly dishes in favor at
the German court are salmon cutlets,
Jugged hare, grouse cutlets and aspara
gus. /
The catering in the Czar's household is
done on a more elaborato and costly
scale than in any other European royal
establishment. There are seldom less
than 15 courses and each Is costly. A
souffle of pheasants' eggs Is a favorite
at the Russian royal table, and costa
about $5 a plate. Grouse a la Czarina is
another favorite and extremely costly
dish.
It is said that the Czar's dinners cost
on an average about $10 a plate every
night, but tills figure Includes the cost
of great banquets, which are frequent at
the Russian court. At these banquets the
cost of the dinner Is $50 to $73 for each
guest.
The average cost at the English court
of the royal dinner Is about $25 a plate,
Including the cost of all great state ban
quets Rnd the entertainments given to
foreign monarehs. Some royal banquets
have cost Immense sums. One of the
Inost expensive was King George’s corona
tion banquet, which was estimated to
have cost $120 a plate. These figures in
clude the cost of the floral decorations.
There is np meal about which monurchs
exhibit so great a variety of taste as
breakfast. King George takes a more
substantial breakfast, than any other
King. It consists of fish, game, some
times "angels on >’0rseback” (oysters
til grilled bacon) always plenty of
fruit, but never Jam of any kind.
The King of Spain breakfasts on cof
fee and to^st. The Czar usually has tea
and thin toast and the Kaiser's breakfast
generally consists of chocolate and toast
ed milk cakes.
___—
TOOK NO CHANCES
From the Philadelphia Telegitipli.
Robert AV. Chambers, the author, says
tliat a certain man. who lives In a sub
urban town In North Jersey, is no beauty.
He Is not only long and angulhr, but has
a face and complexion that neither pale
blue, sky yelllow ,nor any other color in
dress effect will attune to.
One day, according to Mr. Chambers,
tho aforesaid party called to see an ac
quaintance and while waiting for him to
appear In the parlor was entertained by
the little S-year-old son.
"Well, what do you think of mo?’’, asked
the caller, after conversing several min
utes.
Instead of replying the boy turned aside
and thoughtfully hung his head.
"You haven’t answered me,’ smilingly
persisted the caller. "Aren’t you going to
tell me what you thfnk of me?"
“No, sir,” returned the ydungster, "Do
you suppose that I want to get a licking?”
LISTEN!
From the New York Sun.
What’s the matter with tli^glrls,these
days? Can't they hold the attention of
any one? Is It necessary to keep repeat
ing the word "listen” in an ordinary talk
where the "talkee’ is all attention? A
miss Of perhaps 17 years asked for a cer
tain brand .of face powder In ft drug Btore
recently. This Is a fair account of what
she said: Listen! I want a box of yuh
face powder. Lltsen! Do Jjou keep that
there kind that comes With—with a mlr
r< r? You know the kind X mean. Listen!
What shade do you think I need? Is
Ruychel (Rachel) too dark? Listen—”
That was as much as I heard. But it
was enough. It a girl has a toothache, or
a wai t on her Anger, or a headachd, it
is "Listen, liBtett, listen,” to the patient
' !’ in many cases Impatient drug clerk.
Xu miss, it seems, considers her vocabu
lary up to date unless It Is burdened with
“listen.” Girls, take a tip. Put ’/listen”
on the shelf. ,
- .
0 .
. ' _
A DRIFT WITH THE TIMES
__
A MAN YOU’VE MET.
Who is it Oils this world with woe?
The knocker;
V. ho never seems the good to know?
The knocker.
Who lakes great pains in running down
His trusting neighbor's fair renown7
Who doth on all our ventures frown?
The knocker.
Who spends his time in picking flaws?
The knocker;
Who ne'er speaks well of any cause?
The knocker.
Who keeps our bosoms brimmed with
sighs?
Who brings the tear-drops to our eyes?
Who won’t be missed when once he dies?
The knocker.
SIDESTEPPING A TOUCH.
"Sir, could you assist a heart bowed
down?” \
"I'm afraid not. I’m not a heart spe
cialist."
» SIGNIFICANT.
“She wouldn't let you kiss her, eh?"
"No. She said it wasn't sanitary.”
“Umph! She doesn't care much about
you, son.”
SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION.
"A jukesmlth fvants to know what be
comes of the hole In a doughnut when
you eat the doughnut?"
"That's simple enough. The hole re
mains suspended In the air, but you can't
see It." -it
SOMETHING ELSE TO THINK ABOUT.
She used to call poor h^bby up
Ten times a day and ask him how
He did, but that was years ago—
Bridge parties keep her busy now.
CAN TOU BEAT IT?
"Gribble is the worst pessimist I know."
"Why do sou say that?”
"I met him this morning, so rich in joy
ous suggestions of spring, and what do
you suppose he said?”
“I can’t imagine.”
"He said, 'Well, we'll soon be bothered
with files again.’ ”
v A SMOOTH ONE.
Si Witherbee would never drink
And ne'er was known to swear;
Nor would he smoke, but do not think
His soul waS white and fair.
Although he wore a pious look
And prayed With right good wjjl,
At heart he was as great a crook
As ever tapped a till.
FAVORITE FICTION.
“We Have Come To Stay."
“The Little Darling Is a Perfect Pic
ture of His Father.”
"I'm Glad They Didn't Invite Me to
Their Party; I wouldn’t Have.Gone, Any
way.”
“Ves, That's a Sure Sign of Rain; in
Twenty Years I've Never Known It to
Fail.”
"Waiter. I'm Sorry I Can’t Make It a
Quarter, But I’ve Nothing Except This
Dime niul a J’jo Bill.''
"I'm Sure We ShHll Be Delighted to
Hear the Story; Mr. Borus; Go Ahead."
"1 Thunk You for Calling My Attention
lo That Grammatical Error, Professor. —
Chicago Tribune.
THOSE ANCIENT WORTHIES.
King Solomon would join no lodge—
He feared that on returning
A thousand wives would wait for him,
A thousand candles burning.
—Peoria Journal.
Old Jonah was a mocUist chap
As ever took to sailin’;
He never gave a picture-talk
On "How I Went a-Whalln’i"
—Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Old Noah was a sailor bold,
A navigator tireless,
And got about quite well, we're told,
Before the days of wirelesB.
HAS A GOOD EYE, THOUGH.
/"There goes a man who reads all the
lime, yet I dare say he couldn’t tell us
who wrote ‘David CopperlieUl.’ "
"Well! Well! AA’hat on earth does he
read?”
"Gas meters.”
»
HOW ONE GOT IN.
St. Peter settin’ at de gate;
Nigger passln' by— •
St. Peter up an’ sez ter him
"How did you come ter die?"
"Go ax de man wliut belt de gun
A-p’lntfn’ at dat roos';
Go ax de dog whut helt my foot
An' wouldn't turn hit loose!"
"An' so,” St. Peter sez to him;
"You wus kotcli In de ae'?"
Dat nigger turnt an’ looked at him
An' spon's: "Hit Is a fac'!''
“Down in de pit den you intis' g>
Per stealfn' uv dat hen!”
Dat nigger scratch his hald right hard—
St. Peter had him den!
But d'reelcly liftin’ up his arms,
He flop ’em on his side,
An' 'zactly like a rooster crow
Three times out loud lie cried!
St. Peter liung his luJHl in sliame—
He 'membered uv his sin—
An’ grabbln’ up a great big key
He let dat nigger in! •
—New Orleans Picayune,
INTOLERANT ATTITUDE.
“Brindlesburg Is an old-fashioned town.”
"Ante-bellum manners and all that sort
of tiling?"
“Well, not exactly that, but we still have
a great many people here who look on the
‘angleworm wiggle’- us nn invention ot
the devil.”
WHY HE'S FAMOUS.
There was a post-impresslonlst
Who daubed until lie fainted.
And no one in the whole wide world
Could tell what 'twas lie painted.
PAUL COOK.
HOW FAMOUS FASHIONS STARTED
From the New York Eveuing Sun.
IIAT many of the fashions which
became famous in their day and
I have come down to our own were
due to chance or accident is now a mat
ter of history. Interesting are the stories
told of the odd origin of certain styles
which an unsuspecting world probably
thought were intentionally chosen for
their beauty or conltort.
The courts of Europe have been espe
cially noted for their sheeplike following
of an idea introduced by the reigning
monarch when frequently that idea was
evolved to conceal one of the ruler s
physical defects. One of the kings of
France came to the throne a child of 10;
he wore his 'hair in long ringlets all about
the head. Immediately men and women
eoiffed themselves likewise. The same
monarch was bald at 150, and being a
lover of all that was beautiful and fem
inine, he ordered the elaborate wig which
was taken up and reveled in during many
reigns.
As for the hair being caught in the
back and held with a small bow of rib
bon, the stylo beloved of men several
hundred years ago, little girls are said
to have originated the idea, and acci
dentally. One day a court leader hap
pened to be visiting and his hostess was
late arriving at the salon. The young
man fell asleep and the* two children of
the noble lady, creeping in, saw* the guest
and to play & trick tied his hair all to
gether. The little girls, fearing to be'
catigkt, ran away and the young man
never knew of the curious picture the
back of his w ig presented. Other visitors I
discovered the garnish, laughed at the!
ribbon, and the young count declared j
barefacedly that he had so fastened his |
hair and meant to keep it always so;
from his neck and shoulders. Within j
a few days the entire nobility found the |
scheme an excellent one and adopted the
idea. j
The pannier was introduced by a queen
to cover a misplaced hip hone. It was'
an actress who Anally threw the pannier
aside after it hud been fashionable half
a century. One evening, .lust before she
was to appear on the stage, the actress
discovered that one pannier was en
tirely drenched in oil; the dress, It was
thought, was spoiled by n rival.
The actress and her maid quickly
thought the matter over, and both to
gether quickly tore off the offending
member* of the costume. The actress
donned the dress, but, of course, It pre
sented a ridiculous appearance. So the
other pannier was removed, and the Him
young woman appeared on the stage
more supple and graceful than ever. The
audience at Arst gasped, then admired,
and the next day all of London (the
scene took place*there) decided to Imi
tate the actress and her severe skirt.
The origin of the beauty spot is no
less interesting. The Duchess de Mont
morillon suffered with a boil on the cheek
and put on a bit of black mixture over
night said to bo healing. In tho morning
she either forgot to wash her face or
did not use enough care—so the stony
goes—and the Inattentive or malicious
servant allowed her mistress to appeal*
"before the world” with her face spotted.
Powdered and perfumed, Montmorillon
received her callers, who found the black
spot charming, so much so that before
night they had anointed their faces with
the black ointment.
To come down to present times, .the
feather boa was originated less than 20
years ago in Boston. In an idle mo
ment an apprentice in a feather establish
ment sewed the discarded hits and ends
of poor plumes together and strung them
about her neck. The other girls laughed
at the trimming, the head of the depart
ment'found it pretty, and the order was
given that no castaways In the furm of
plumes be thrown in the waste-basket.
All parts of the plume were kept, sewed
on to a rlbbo^, the entire tiling curled
and 'long ribbon loops put at each end.
and the feather boa was the success of
the season. v
Tlie uncurled plume, so fashionable in
Paris a few years ago and revived re
cently in another manner, was purely the
result of an accident. The IMggest race
of the year, the Grand l*fft d’Auteuil,
was on, and women were there dressed
within an Inch of their lives. A tearful
rainstorm came up and people were
drenched. Plumes that had left Home
finely curled were wet and each spiral
stood apart. It was not pretty, the ef
fect, but it was original, and one of tno
milliners, not wishing to take the '.rouble
to have the plumes of all his customers
recurled, advised them to allow the gar
nish to remain as It was.,
That week following the Grand Prlx
d’Auteuil saw nothing but steaight spiral
plumes, and women liked them so much
that before the following Sunday, when
tlie Grand Prix de Longchamp was to-be,
women who had curled plumes had the
wave taken out, so that they might ap
pear like the other fashionables. For
more than a year the defrissee plume
was sought. As a whole, fashion is like
In this instance, only the result of an ac
cident. Sometimes it is the outcome of
an experiment. But like the women, it
is capricious and changeable and capable
of almost anything within reason.
AMERICAN OPERA IN ENGLAND
From the New York World. ^
To the champions of opera in English
the production of Mr. Damrosch's "Cy
rano'' at tho Metropolitan is a cheering
sign that their heart's desire may yet he
fulfilled. Their hopes have been dashed
so often by untoward events as to dis
courage less zealous patriots-.
Mr. Converse's "Tho Pipe of Desire,"
Prof. Parker’s "Mona" and Victor Her
bert's "Natoma,” instead of each usher
ing in a new era in opera, were succes
sive steps toward disappointment. P.ut
the failure would have been tlic same if
the three orlpras liud been sung in Ital
ian, perman or French, in each case the
music was mere than passably written
and sung, but it failed to capture the
public's fancy. The merits of all three
operas commanded respect, but respect
ful praise of a new composer's work Is
not the material needed to All an opera
house night after night.
Good music will often redeem a poor
libretto. No language will carry bad
music, but good music will carry any lan
guage that can be sung. The words of
some operas dear to music-lovers are a
medley of nonsense and Indifferent verse;
no one would seriously read them
through for their literary beauties. It is
not what the singers say but what they
sing that counts In the end.
^ When an American composer is found
to write an opera that is a masterpiece,
the question of opera sung in English will
settle Itself. It can never be settled in
adVtfnce without tho composer's help, not
even to gratify the demands of national
pride.
THE TIGER
By AVilllam Blake.
Tiger, tiger, burning bright
In the forests of the night, '
AVhat immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?
In what distant deeps or skies
Burnt the lire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
AA'hat the hand dare seize the fire?
And what shoulder and wEat art
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And, when thy heart began to beat,
AA'hat dread hand and what dread feet?
AA’hat the hammer? What the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? AVhat dread grasp
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?
. .•
AA’hen the stars threw dawn their spears.
And watered heaven with their tears,
Did He smile His work to sec?
Did He who made the lamb make thee?
Tiger, tiger,_ burning bright
In the fores'ts of the night,
AVhat immortal hand or eye
Dare frames thy fearful symmetry?