The Birmingham age-herald. [volume], April 04, 1913, Image 4

About The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950

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THE AGE-HERALD
E. W. BARRETT Editor
Entered at the Birmingham Ala.,
postoffice as second class matter under
act of Congress March 3, 1879.
Daily and Sunday Age-HeTald.... 18.00
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resentatives of The Age-Herald in its
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THE AGE-HERALD,
Birmingham, Ala.
Washington bureau, 207 Hibbs bulld
European bureau, 6 Henrietta street.
Covent Garden. London,
i Eastern business offioe, Rooms 48 to
, to. inclusive. Tribune building, New
"ifork city; western business office,
tribune building, Chicago. The 8
Beckwith Special Agency, agents for
eign advertising.
TELEPHONE
Bell (private exchange connecting
.all departments), Ne. 4VM.
He tbal hath no aloraacb to thin Ultbl
him deport) hie paooport oholl he
made,
nri crown* for convoy put In bla
puree)
would not die In tliat man'* com
pany,
'tThat feara hla fellowahlp to die with
, —Kins Henry V.
Free Sugar and Free Wool
The two burning questions in tariff
revision relate to sugar and wool. The
i growers of both in this country want
; more profits. The duty on wool at
[present is about 11 cents a pound and
the duty on sugar is a trifle below 2
I cents. These bonuses the home grow
ers naturally desire to retain,
i But when wheat and other pnoducts
iare put on the free list—where cotton
always has been—why should not
.‘.sugar and wool be put there also?
>Sugar is no more entitled to a bounty
i than "wheat, nor is wool any more en
titled to artificial stimulation than
l cotton.
This seems to be the right time to
put sugar and wool on the free list,
because the losses in revenue can be
made good in an income tax that no
five-by-four decision of the supreme
’court can upset.
Give the consumers a cheaper
breakfast table and cheaper clothing.
The democratic party stands pledged
to do this, and the hope is that the
President and both branches of Con
gress will live fully up to the Balti
more platform.
Senatorial Deadlocks Abolished
Tennessee has ratified the seven
teenth amendment, joining Texas, Ar
kansas, North Carolina and West Vir
ginia. The action of Tennessee carries
the number of ratifying states to 34.
Pennsylvania also ratified the amend
ment, and now the action of only one
more state is needed. The additional
atate will be Connecticut, Rhode Island
or Florida. The legislature of Florida
meets April 8. The house of the Rhode
• Island legislature has ratified the
amendment, and the senate may take
• favorable action.
Georgia and Delaware were the two
states that opposed the amendment,
■land to this day neither knows why it
[opposed a reform of the Senate on
(popular lines.
- The ratification of the amendment
[Will make senatorial deadlocks a thing
:jof the past, for each and every state
[must elect its senators by direct popu
lar action. The legislatures will have
Ijio voice in such elections hereafter
Except the vote/ that members may
[cast in their respective homes. Elec
itions of the Lorimer sort, and elec
tions dictated by railroads or other
[interest* will now pass out of the pub
lic mind, and the Senate may yet be
: come a rival of the House as the
‘popular branch of Congress. The pres
ent Senate is being organized on popu
lar and responsive lines. It has felt the
coming changes, and the great revo
lution may be said to be well ad
vanced. _
Recognition of China
The first Chinese congress is to
eet next Monday, and at that time
speedily afterward it is said that
republic of the United States will
recognize the republic of China. Pres
ident Wilson has no intention of wait
ing upon the action of the other pow
ers, nearly every one of whom has
something up its sleeve. The course of
Philander Knox is not the course that
Secretary Bryan frill pursue.
China has long been entitled to the
courtesy of formal recognition. That
country is no Mexico. There are^no
revolutions in China and peace is as
normal there as revolution is in Mex
ico. More than a year ago the Man
chus were dismissed, and the people
took the government into their own
hands. No one foresees a return to
absolutism in China. The government
of Yuan Shi Kai is fully organized,
and a new and progressive China is
springing up. A new national spirit
has arisen, and this country should
encourage that spirit while showing a
desire to cultivate closer relations be
tween the two great republics of the
world. By recognition the cause of
liberty and free government could be
advanced throughout the world.
Fortunately Philander Knox and
Huntington Wilson are no longer in
power in Washington and the voice of
the people of the United States can
gain a hearing there. It demands a
formal recognition of China at the
earliest possible day. » »
Revision in the Senate
Every seat in the Senate will be
filled when Congress meets on Mon
day next with 51 democrats and 46
republicans. A working majority of
six reinforced by the vice president
is not a great majority, but if every
democrat considers himself bound to
the pledges of the last national plat
form it may be sufficient for tariff
revision purposes.
If, however, some democrats prefer
to serve local interests rather than to
stand up to the pledges of the party,
then the democrats will be forced to
seek in the ranks of the progressives
additional votes. All told there are in
the two houses about 40 men with
national progressive tendencies. Some
have actually left the republican party
but more have not. . ,
The Senate finance cotnmittee is
keeping in touch with Mr. Underwood
and the ways and means committee,
and President Wilson is working cor
dially with both. The hope is that
real revision of the tariff to a revenue
basis will be the outcome. Every dem
ocrat knows that a crisis in the party
is near at hand and that the battle of
1916 will really be fought in the extra
session. There are other skirmishes to
come, but if the party stands firmly
up to its pledges in the extra sesion,
all skirmishes will but serve to
strengthen the party before the peo
ple. __
On Thursday the Opening Day
When President Baugh and Mag
nate Woodward get behind Manager
Molesworth and send him afield to
find two .300 batters, the home fans
have an assurance at once that two
such hitters will be secured. Team
work and pitching and fielding are
all desirable, but no team can stancf
high unless it is equipped with bat
ters in the .300 class.
Manager Molesworth will jret a pair
of them in all probability, and if he
does this town should begin to get
ready to give him and the rest of the
team a great reception on the open
ing day, next Thursday. A general
half holiday on that day should be de
clared, so that all can give the city’s
favorite outdoor sport a good send
off.
This city had the largest attendance
at the opening game of 1912, and it
can repeat its record then and in
crease it this year. Three other cities
propose to out do Birmingham on the
opening day, but not one of them can
do this if we are alert and ready.
Long used to prop a bureau that In
days now distant bad lost a caster, a
book brought $2000 to two aged women
and joy to the heart of a Washington
collector of old volumes, who announced
this week that another "first edition” of
Edgar Allan Poe’s second work, "El
Aaraaf,” had been fopnd The women,
a mother and daughter, had called John
T. I,oomi§, a second hand book dealer, to
their rooms to look over a small library
they possessed. The offering did not at
/
tract the man, and he was leaving, when
he saw a cardboard bound volume under
the edge of the bureau. "What is this?"
he said, stopping. "That’s nothing," said
the daughter. “It’s by Mr. Poe. He used
to call on Adejine and Alvina Wolfe, two
ladles who lived in Baltimore, and he
gave it to them. It fell very flat when it
uas published." Loomis could have had
the book virtually for nothing. Instead,
he gave the women $2000. A first edition
copy of the work recently brought $2700
at auction.
The appointment of Walter H, Page to
the Knglish embassy will mean much to
his (laughter, who Is on the threshold,
anyway, of her debut, finishing, as she
Is. her last year at Bryn Mawr, The new
ambassador Is also a new grandfather.
The latest congratulations now pouring
in are only a second deluge, the first
being occasioned by tile birth of a daugh
ter about two weeks ago to Mr. and Mrs.
Arthur Page (nee Mary Hall) of Boston.
Arthur Page, Harvard, 'OS; Ralph W„
Harvard, '03, and Frank C., Harvard, TO,
make up the remainder of the family.
Frank and Ralph are on the Page cotton
plantation in North Carolina.
A deal with the J. P. Morgan firm, con
cerning Hie proposed new Union depot In
Cincinnati, will not be affected In any
way by the death of Mr, Morgan, as it
came up and lias advanced to Its present
stage during Mr. Morgan's absence from
America. The negotiations have been car
ried on by Mr. W. W. Green of Cincinnati
and Mr. H. P. Davidson of J. P. Morgan
i & Co. Mr. Green has endeavored to in
duce the Morgan house to advance J30,
000,000, purchase the franchise now held
by Mr. Archie While and associates and
nuance the construction of the terminal.
Near Henderson, ity., John Crawford,
a farmer who was washed out of Ids home
by the high water, is /now living with his
family on a raft which was constructed
with the expectancy of this Hood. He,
has cows, chickens, folder and provisions
on this raft.
Secretary of tabor William B. Wilson
is serving without pay, Congress having
failed to provide any Tor the new head uf
the department. (
Taken ill with typhoid fever wb
years old anfl still in bed at 80
record of Mrs. Sybllla Sehnatz. v
she has done for 69 years, will r
her birthday today in St. Joseph’?
In Philadelphia. She holds at
time records. Since her typi
Mrs. Sehnatz has been unal
without assistance. She has
dent student of scientific 3
has a telephone at her b as
seen trolleys 'and autom aer
window. Her greatest a’ ays,
Is to sty an aeroplane.
—--%
The President upset by go
ing to the Union str nington
to meet Mrs, Wilson. A?,. merican
wife Is a real sovereign and the President
did Just right.
A baseball expert says the las? curve in
a pitched hall has been invented. There
is not another one to come, but then modi,
float Ions of the old curves are still pos
sible.
This la the closing week of baseball
prophecies, and any one who feels like
winning the pennant should do so at once.
Alarch was full of wind, tire, flood and
blizzard. Pet us hope April will be con
tent to be simply normal.
Secretary McAdoo says all applications
for office made to him must be filed
in writing.
The checks of famlnine apparel are
very large, but still It is not .very ex
pensive.
Germany declines to stop the building of
warship*. Her latest appropriation is *37,
500,000.
Peaches no longer come from South
Africa, for the Argentina crop is coming
in.
Cape Cod is now an island, and io» Oc
tober South America will be one too.
Even the Illinois legislature is going
out of the deadlock business.
Mexico and the Turco-Balkan country
are chronically at war.
Death Is no respecter of a mortals
wealth.
THE PREVENTION OF CANCER
Leonard Keene Hirshberg, M. D., in Har
per’s Weekly.
In women there are two chief kinds of
cancer, one of which has been mentioned,
namely of the internal organs. The other
is located in the bosom. If a woman no
tices a lump in her breast, she should con
sult her family physician immediately. It
may be only a fibrous little scar like bunch
of tissue and thus not dangerous. Then,
again, it may be a cancer. In the latter
case it should be removed at once.
Internal cancer is recognized by hemor
rhage. If the patient has a hemorrhage
that cannot be clearly explained, she
should report immediately to her physi
sion. He will tell her whether her ail
ment is a simple one or a cancer. If there (
is evidence of a growth, an operation |
should be performed forthwith.
This Is the news to be disseminated
throughout the length and breadth of the
land; to be carried to every mother, wife
and sister. The United States is blessed
with many well equipped hospitals and
with many capable physicians and sur
geons. Women suffeHng with cancer will
not have to travel far from homo to ob
tain the necessary medical advice or sur
gical treatment.
Just as soon as the women of the land
are as fully educated as doctors about
the first signs of cancer and about the
danger of delay, and will report promptly
to their physicians, just so soon from
20 to 30 per cent of them at least will be,
rescued from this insidious disease. Un
til a few years ago cancer was considered
absolutely hopeless; Ignorance might have
made it remain so, but knowledge will
free you from its dangers.
THE IMMORTAL CLOWN
From Harper’s Weekly.
Was it Catulle Mendes who asked, once
upon a time: Where are the roses of the
faded April? We do not know; we must,
like Dr. Johnson in Boswell’s account of
the lady who interrogated him concern
ing a future life, “leave the matter In
obscurity.” But as to the circuses of all
the faded Aprils of the past, we enter
tain no doubts; we can say with perfect
and serene confidence that thev have all
come to life again in the delectable show
that everybody can now see at the gar
den. Here Airil of the Young, of whom
we have been speaking, has taken shape,
as the creator of many wonders, in the
composite person of the Messrs. Ringling,
who wear with such grace and aplomb the
mantle of the hallowed Barnum.
Never, surely, were there such clowns as
you can see disporting themselves in the
garden arena. We make no apology for
speaking first of our pleasure in them; for
we have always regarded the clown as a
completely reassuring symbol of the joy
of life. So long as the clown endures, it
is possible to heed tho adjuration of the
tent maker, and In the Are of spring your
winter garment of repentance fling. The
clown is a challenge flung In the teeth
of mortality. Omar’s reminiscent moon
will doubtless
“ . . . . hereafter rising look for us
Through this same garden—and for one
in vain;” ^
but tiie clown will ever stand,, unim
peached and unimpeachable, as a symbol
of immortality ; and at this season's circus
his charm and vitality are unabated.
THE (THIST \RTI8T IN I1IM.YII,I.E
From the Atlanta Constitution.
"One o' these new cubist’ artists came
to our town on Wednesday last, and
Colonel Wilkins engaged him to paint
the picture of Ids mother-in-law. That
good lady, never dreamin' of what was
goin' to happen, took her place in her fa
vorite rocking chair and told the artist—
as he called himself—to go ahead, which
he done, with the follerin’ result: He
made one of the good lady's eye^ look
like a black block on a patchwork quilt,
and the other showed up like a new moon
hangin' low over a graveyard; and when
it come to the mouth that had long lec
tured the colonel, that artist made It look
like a crosscut saw gone wrong! No won
dei she chased the artist two miles up the
railroad track, ttll he jumped off trestle
to save himself!"
BURGLAR'S TOUGH LUCK
From the New York Telegram.
Hard forking burglar of Pittsburg be
lieves he is the victim of a jinx. He stole
a i*aso of slices, and after lugging the
burden a mile found, on breaking the bulk,
they were all lefts—a lot of drummers
samples. Then be got so mad he report
ed the matter to tlie pulicc us u swindle
uud was arrested.
N HOTEL LOBBIES
Railroad Traffic
ne traffic situation on our lines Is
e satisfactory,” said Vice President
M. Culp of the Southern Railway
mpany, who spent yesterday in Bir
mingham. "Freight traffic has been
neavy for some months past and here
In the Birmingham district I find con
ditions very good indeed.
“Reports from the Georgia peach belt
indicate a small crop. The orchards
were in good shape until the last cold
snap but that did serious damage.
There may be some good peaches in
Georgia and Alabama but it looks now'
as if the volume would be A nogligible
quantity. La^t year there was a bump
er crop in Georgia and it taxed the rail
roads to haul it. But other crops in
Georgia this year may he large enough
to offset the loss from the falling off
in peaches.”
Destruction of Wild Flowers
A representative of The Age-Herald,
strolling on Red Mountain, ran across
Sterling A. Wood, who lives just over
the crest, and Mr. Wood, calling to
him, said:
“The Age-Herald is making a cam
paign of education and I want it to
add one more item of conservation to
the schedule. As you know, my resi
dence is in one of the gaps leading
over Red mountain, and last Sunday
evening as the sun was about to set
there was a sight to make the heart
of a nature lover quite sad. Numerous
troops of boys and girls, old and young,
and middle aged, were returning from
pleasure jaunts in the forest beyond
the mountain. Very many of the boys
and girls had hats full of wild vio
let blossoms. Those who did not have
hats had their caps full. And the girls
had their aprons full. There were
thousands upon thousands of violets
pulled that could not be saved for the
purpose of any ornamentation, but
pulled for the pleasure of seeing who
could pull the most. Of course, none
of the pleasure seekers thought that
these blooms make seed, and these seed
make blooms for those who come next
year and thereafter. This same process
has made bare all the woods and fields
nearest to the city and the prooess
continued will make bare those that
are farthest away.
“Let conservation be taught in all
lines. Let us gather what we want and
can use and let the remainder live un
til tomorrow.”
Peaches Hereabout*
"I do not know how It Is in Vther
sections of the south, but around Bir
mingham the peach orchards are in
fair condition—some of them in ex
ceptionally good condition," said W. M.
Lindsay.
"The little freezing weather that we
have had did not htfrt the buds. This
week I have noticed on some of the
trees peaches of considerable size. I
believe that in Jefferson county we will
have a normal peach crop, if not a
crop above normal."
Pontofflcc Primaries
"The democratic electors of Gads
den are to vote in a primary for a
postmaster: this by the consent of Con
gressman Burnett," said an old demo
crat. "Also I believe it has been de
cided to have a postmaster primary in
Eufaula.
"Where vacancies exist in presiden
tial postoffices the primary is proba
bly the most satisfactory way of pass
ing on the merits of aspirants for the
position. I have heard some persons
say that all applicants for presidential
postoffices should submit their claims
to the voters in a party primary but
t do nbt see how this plan would work
except where vacancies exist. President
Wilson has made it plain that post
masters appointed under, the Taft ad
ministration would be allowed to serve
cut four years unless charges of in
competency, negligence or other short
comings were preferred and proved. It
is safe to say that In most cases the
incumbents are efficient and that few j
changes will be made until the four
year’s term i^. out.
"There are 117 presidential post*
masters in Alabama and about 3 00 of
these are filled by republicans, some
of whose terms have yet something
like three years to run. Very many
have a year or more to run. In order
to establish anything like a primary
system the President,, it seems to me,
would have a very important voice in
the matter. He would have to commit
h^piself to announcing some months
before the time he expected to make
an appointment just when a vacancy
in the office would occur—when the
republican would have to step down
and out. If the congressman is to
be the referee in the matter of post
masterships he would have to recom
mend the primary plan before it could
be adopted no matter what the Pres
ident thought about it. In other words,
the President and the congressman, to
say nothing of the Postmaster General,
would have to be in accord on this
matter.
"In the meantime ^he Gadsden situ
ation will be watched with interest
throughout the state."
High Class Music
"There Is a rapidly Increasing inter
est in high class music in this coun
try,” said E, A. Stavrum, who repre
sents the Cincinnati symphony or
chestra.
“In great cities like New York, Phil
adelphia and Chicago music lovers may
gratify their taste twice a day and
choose between several orchestras and
bands, for It has become the custom
for proprietors of pleasure gardens to
engage large organizations for sum
mer music. Even In tlie cities smaller
than those mentioned one may hear a
symphony orchestra play every day for
weeks, if not during the whole sum
mer.
“The Cincinnati orchestra is engaged
for the entire summer, two weeks at
one place, three weeks at another, four
weeks at another, etc. Our southern
tour in May will be limited to one.
week.
“I am on my first trip south and I
find in Knoxville, C’liattunooga, Bir
mingham and oilier cities great inter
est In the better class of music. There
la a much greater percentage of musi
cally educated people in every southern
city, as in every northern city, than
therefore more discriminating and are
therefore more dlscrimnating and arc
more eager to hear i lie best."
St. rat rick’■ Day In Hreat Britain
(According to tile newspapers pub
lished in England and Ireland, last SI.
Patrick’s day was observed in the old
country with even more enthusiasm
than usual. The London Times up to
a few years ago was anti-Irish and
bitterly opposed to home rule, but' this
year tt issued a St. Patrick's day num
ber which yas uot only a uiarvel of
[newspaper enterprise but It gave strik
ing evidence of its change of policy
toward the Emerald Isle on the home
rule question. There was a distinctly
sympatheic note throughout its col
umns. The Times’ Dublin correspond
ent*, under date of March 17, gave this
account:
“St. Patricks day in Dublin was
ushered in by a'cold easterly wind, and
snow fell lightly at intervals during
the morning. It was a bank holiday,
and business of every kind was sus
pended. The city was filled with visi
tors, who were brought up from all
parts of the country by excursion
trains, and perhaps never has there
been seen in the streets such a lavish
display of the shamrock. Services were
held in all the churches, both Protestant
Xnd Roman Catholic, and in some cases
sermons were preached in Irish or
hymns were sung and prayers recited
in the native tongue.
“The principal outdoor ceremony of
the forenoon was the trooping of the
colour in the upper yard of Dublin
castle, which in spite of the bitterly
cold weather, attracted a large number
of the citizens. It was carried out by
the First battalion of the East Kent
regiment.
‘XThe procession of the Gaelic league
through the principal streets brought
out large crowds in the afternoon. It
was formed in Rutland square and was
composed of branches of the Gaelic
league in Dublin city and county, mem
bers of the corporation and other public
bodies, hurling and football clubs,
school children, national boy scouts,
some of whom carried rifles and bay
onets, the Ancient Order of Hibern
ians, the Foresters' society, and some ]
trade bodies. A large number of flags
were carried, and there were about 20
bands in the procession. Neaar the end |
it was joined by a group of woman
suffragists, who carried large blue and j
fellow banners on which were the
words ‘Votes for Women.’ They were
protected by a number of policemen,
and their progress through the streets
was marked by vigorous hooting on
the part of the spectators."
DOMINANT WOMAN IN FICTION
From the New York World.
An editorial critic writing for the
Rochester Post-Express is moved to a
column of indignation over the femini
zation of modern Action. Wherever he
turns the pages of a new novel ho
Ands the study of woman—the narrative
discussion of her moods, her passions,
her tendencies, her psychological con
struction. It was not so with the
stories of other days. It used to be
that men could write books about men.
Thus Fielding wrote “Tom Jones" with
Amelia a8 a pleasing incident, and
Richardson in “Clarissa" was able to
keep his heroine second to Sir Charles
Grandison.
This critic sees the novel doomed un- j
less it can escape from the binding
apron-string. But he might acknowl- !
edge a second sight as well as a sec- !
ond thought if he would contemplate
the matter of his grief as one part i
of a manifestation' instead of looking1
at it as a separate issue.
The larger truth is not that the novel
is being feminized but that* the world
about us is being alTecled in all its
particulars by the advance into place
and activity of a sex formerly sub
merged. Woman is coming into her
own in fact. That is why, for the hour
at least, she is dominant in Action. She
no longer submits to having a place
pointed out to her and being told to
stay there.
We have become measurably accum
tomed to the feminine invasion of what
used to be masculine Aelds of industry.
We are obliged to recognize the mul
tiplying women in art. Undoubtedly the
day is close at hand when the last
political privilege will be extended to
mothers, wives and sisters. The ap
parent feminization of the novel will
bo among the small things automati
cally disposed of when the Anal great
results are obtained.
HOOKS FOR LOWBROWS
George P. Brett in the Atlantic Maga
zine.
It is said that many of our Journals
are qifited strictly with a view to in
creasing the receipts from the advertis
ing pages, with what truth I do not
now; but it is certain that much of
the current Action is written with a
view to supplying Just the sort of
thrills the public demands. Indeed, I am
told that the author of a long series
of "best sellers," immediately after a
new work of his appears, sits in solemn
conclave with his publishers and their
editors and advisers, wherein the sub
ject and scenes of his next effort are
outlined and voted on, with a keen
regard to the supposed dreams and de
sires of the rising generation of read
ers. Novels of merit and value, repre
senting honest work and the real con
victions of their authors, still from
time to time make their appearance,
but It Is seldom indeed that one of
these Ands its v^ay into the ranks of
the "six bost sellers." Their appeal is
to that part of the public which still
discriminates in Its reading, a smaller
percentage of the whole, I fear, at pres
ent, than In any recent period of our
history. One is reminded of the remark
of one of our best critics, himself an I
author of many b^oks well known to
lovers of the best literature.
"I should consider myself disgraced
if I had written a book which in these
days had sold 100,000 copies."
GRAND OPERA IN 1*09 ANGELES
From the New York Evening Sun.
They had grand opera in Los An
geles recently. There are few cities
where music is more appreciated; Los
Angeles is the abode of art.
When they welcome art on the coast
they do not do it hesitatingly. We have
been Interested in the fact that when
the curtain rose on tlie opening night
the singers were blazed upon by a
California lady who had put on $363,
400 worth of diamonds for the occasion.
The Los Angeles papers print modest
catalogs of the $55,000 necklaces, $25,
000 rings, et cetera.*
The singers, to their credit, after the
first few moments of alarm, did not
miss a note, singing the last U*ree
acts of the performance in "blinkers”
and smoked glasses. The diamonds were
in great voice and were accompanied
by the special orchestra carried by the
opera company. The incidental music
was written by Wagner.
One of the most enjoyable duets of
the whole evening was a pair of dia
mond drop earrings, rated at $20,000.
Among others present were seven rings
worth $98,000. The taste for art is
growing in the country generally; the
coast especially no longer accepts the
verdict of New York and Europe, but
forms its opinions independently. This
man Wagner is a favorite in An
geles, for instance. One of til* hair or
uameuu wan woitfc .$12,000. J
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
MISSING THE SUN
No cloudless skies look down today,
The heavens lower, dull and gray,
And every vale and every hill,
And every gilding, glancing rill.
Reflecting nature’s somber mood,
Doth like the sighing forest brood,
Whose gloomy arch puts joy to rout
And shuts the golden sunshine out.
A PROBLEM PLAY
"I have a new Idea for a play."
"Tell me about It."
"The villain Is going to steal a cubist’s
picture."
“Umph! You'll have the dickens of a
time explaining why he ever wanted to
do that.”
TIME FOR DIPLOMACY
“Do you suppose a demonstration by
the powers will have any effect on the
Montenegrins?"
“Well, it ought to have a very pro
nounced effect. If a giant 50 feet high
were to shake his fist at a pigmy, I
| should think it would be high time for
the pigmy to give the giant a polite
hearing."
EXPLANATORY
"I could not love thee, dear, so much,
Loved t not honor more,”
Was writ by one who ne’er went out
And loudly slammed the door.
But do not form a false surmise,
And let this truth he said:
The man who sang that graceful song
In life was never wed.
OTHER MATTERS FIRST
How many men would win great fame
And climb to heights sublime, —k
If they, who love a baseball game,
Could only find the time!
WHAT HE DESERVES
The man who thinks he knows it all
Is apt some day to have a fall,
But when he does we shed no tears—
In fact, his plight’ our bosom cheers,
/ SYMPTOMS
Swe^t spring is here, 1 know It by
The blossoms on the lawn;
And also every morning, I
Just yawn and yawn and yawn.
IN' THE HOSPITAL, NOW
"EilTklns, the bard, stood In the street
yesterday waiting for a thought to strike
him."
"Well, did a thought strike him?’’
"N’o, but an auto did.”
NOT A GOOD CITIZEN
That man must bo
Extremely narrow,
Who won’t agree
To swat the sparrow.
—Birmingham Age-Herald.
That man must be
Prepared to die,
Who won’t agree
To swat the liy,
—Cincinnati Enquirer.
OIR FAVORITE "THRILLER”
In reading news
We’re simply tireless,
When helpless crews
Are saved by wireless.
PAl’L COOK.
BIGGEST JOB ON EARTH
G.RJ3AT as has been the growth of
tho country during the last half
century, the growth in the size
and importance of the government lias
been out of all proportion greater. Its
functions have multiplied, the scope of
its concerns has infinitely widened; the
field of its activity inconceivably ex
tended. Whereas, half a century ago—
indeed, a generation ago—a citizen was
conscious of his connection with, the fed
eral government seldom except when he
went to tlie postoffice, voted for a con
gressman once every two years, or re
flected on the basis of the value of his
money, today he feels its hand practical
ly every moment of his life—whenever
he opens his mouth for food or drink,
whenever he boards a train, whenever
he makes a purchase, or has reason to
prognosticate the weather.,
An article in The World’s Work fo^
April by William Bayard Hale shows
some of tho diverse activities of the
great machine of which Mr. Wilson lias
just taken charge. Today the govern
ment over whiefa he comes to preside
is an affair of such magnitude; the ex
tent, the size, the importance, tlie reach,
the diversity of the duties of the Presi
dency have in the course of our na
tional evolution become so prodigious;
the White House at Washington lias be
come the centre of so great a system,
an organization, an authority, unprece
dented in the history of political institu
tions—that Mr. Wilson, in taking up the
task they impose, did well to fortify his
oath with the customary devout invoca
tion of superhuman aid in the words
with which George Washington, with far
less reason, began his terms: "So help
me God.”
In 1856, when Woodrow Wilson wa s
born, the United States were 34; today
they are 48. Then, we possessed no out
lying territory. Today, we have Alaska,
Porto Rico, the Panama canal zone, the
Philippines, Guam, Hawaii, and the Tu
tuila islands—more than 3000 islands. Our
population then was 28,000.000; now it is
110,000.
In 1856, the country possessed 22,000
miles of railroads; today, 250,000. Then
not a telegraph instrument clicked, not a
telephone bell tinkled. That year the
people of the United States spent $7,000,
000 for postage stamps; this year we
shall spend $250,000,000—and stamps are
cheaper, too.
Under Franklin Pierce an attempt to
“classify” the civil service enumerated
722 men and women. Then, the total civil
establishment of tho United States num
bered about 25,000 people. Under Wood
row Wilson the civil service has passed
beyond enumeration; no complete regis
ter of it is attempted, hut in its last
report the civil service commission re
cords 236,061 in the classified service, and
counts 395,460 civil employes—not to men
tion more than 150,000 others whose whole
time is not taken by the government.
More than half a million men and wom
en arc required to carry on the activities
over which President Wilson is chief
superintendent—145,000 more to fill the
ranks of the army and navy. The civil
salary list under Pierce was $20,000,000
a year; today It is 20 Hmes $20,000,000.
When the present President was in his
cradle, tho President of the day an
swered his own letters. Today tho White
House staff includes 40 secretaries and
clerks.
The year in which Woodrow Wilson
was born, the expenses of the Unltod
States government amounted to <75,647,
171. In 1912 its cost was <901,257,979. The
receipts of the government In 1856 were
<80,000,000;" last year they amounted to
$970,000,000.
Even In the year that Woodrow Wil
son attulned his majority the govern
ment In which he then attained to a
voice was an affair for which Congress
was called on to appropriate only <325,
000,000. Last year It appropriated more
than <1,000,000,000. It was only yesterday,
only a dozen years ago, that the cry,
“a billion dollar Congress,” startled the
country. Nowadays a Congress spends
two billions.
These are but swift and desultory
glimpses at a few of the multlpllcate and
diverse works in which the government
of the United States is engaged. They
can servo only to hint at the weight
of tlie task which Woodrow Wilson now
takes up.
The President of the United States to
day is second to no sovereign as a force
In international affairs. The friendship
of our government is wooed assiduously
by the other great powers; many a start
ling story could be told ot offers sent
by European and Asiatic chancellors to
Presidents and secretaries of state. So
long as we remain In possession of the
Philippines we are necesarily- Involved
In the vastest and most delicate rivalries
of the powers. So long as anarchy is
permitted to reign In Latin America we
are exposed to dangers from every source
of danger. For a long time the secretary
of statu was premier in the cabinet only.
formally and not In fact. Today tho
wisest mind at tho command of tlie
President is actually needed in the for
eign .office.
Tet, after ail, tlie moro pressing nnd
vastly more extensive tasks of the gov
ernment are within our own borders.
The fact Is, government has become a
thing ttiat comes far nearer home to the
people, touches them at multiplied points,
lafe lias grown so complicated that, it
is no longer possible to expect tlie indi
vidual to do for himself what was easy
In simpler times. Now as President Wil
son writes on another page of The
World’s Work:
"It is perfectly clear to every man who
has any vision of the immediate future,
who can foiecast any part of it from
tlie indications of tho present, that we
are Just upon the threshold of a lime
when the systematic life of this country
will bo sustained, or at least supple
mented. at every point by governmental
activity."
AT THE ’l’OM 11 OF JONAH
From tho Christian Herald.
The site of Nineveh is almost perfectly
level. But adjoining tho western wa1'
are two huge mounds concealing the pal
aces of the greatest kings of Assyt'ld,
The lower or southern mound is occupied
by a mosque and a village of consid
erable size. Its name is Nehi Tunis, or
tlie Prophet Jonah, for in tho mosque is
the tomb in which Jonah Is said to have
been buried. The age of the tomb is
uncertain, yet probably it dates from
long after tlie Hebrew prophet's time.
However, the place Is now sacred, so
Sacred that pilgrims visit it from afar.
I rode up tlie steep, narrow streets of
the village of the mosque, and to the
amazement of the natives I dismounted
and entered the mosque yard. A crowd
of excited men quickly surrounded me.
To a priest I explained that I had come
to see the grave of Jonah and with a
motion of tlie hand I made it under
stood that he would lie rewarded. Ite
moving my .shoes, I followed the priest
through a dark passageway. There he
pointed to a wall and said that tlie
tomb was Just beyond. I wished to en
ter the prayer room from which tlie
tomb itself might be seen, but the place
was considered fur too sacred for my
profane feet. However, the few Chris
tians who fiave been permitted to see
the tomb may look only through a small
window Into a dark chamber In which a »
cloth covered mound Is scarcely dlscern
able. It Is said that no moslem even
will enter tlie inner shrine.
ONE ON THE CAHDINAL,
From Judge.
During a visit In his elmrchly capa
city through southern Maryland, Cardi
nal Gibbons was entertained by the or
der of Jesuits at I .poor rd town. That
part of the state is famed for Its dia
mond hack terapin, canvashack duck,
oysters, crabs and fish, and a sumptuous
table was spread before the cardinal.
During the repast, the cardinal turned
to a priest near him and said, with a
twinkle in his eye,
"So this is the way the Jesuits dine!"
"No. your eminence," replied tlie /
priest; "this is the way the cardinal
dines!"
TRAINING AN OltlK.M'H,
From Judge.
A Canadian woman wanted to show
her Chinese servant the correct way to
Announce visitors, and one afternoon
went outside her front door, rang the
bell, and made the man usher her Into
the drawing room.
The following afternoon the bell rang,
and not hearing him answer It, she went
to the door herself. To her surprise, he
was standing waiting outside.
"Why, Slug." sho asked, "what are
you doing here?”
"you foolee me yesteddy. I foolee you
today,” was his reply.
THE TIME I’VE LOST IN WOOING
By Thomas Moore.
The time I've lost in wooing,
In watching and pursuing
The light that lies #
In woman's eyes,
Has been my heart's undoing.
Though wisdom oft has sought* me
I scorn’d the lore she brought me,
My only books
Were woman's looks,
And folly's all they\e taught me.
Her smile when beauty granted,
I hung with gaze enchanted,
I.lke him the sprite
Whom maids by night
Oft met In glen that's haunted, •
l,lke him, too, beauty won me,
But while her eyes were on me,
If once their ray
Was turned away,
Oh! winds could not outrun me.
And are those follies going?”
And Is my proud heart grooving
Too cold or wise
For brilliant eyes
Again to set It glowing?
No—vain, alas! th' endeavor
From bonds so sweet to sever;
Poor wisdom's chance
Against a glance
la upw gs weak as ever.