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The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, April 29, 1913, Image 4

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THE AGE-HERALD
K. W. BARRETT Editor
Entered at the Birmingham Ala., ,
postofflcu as second class matter under
act of Congress March 3, 1879.
Daily and Sunday Age-Heralu .... 88.00
Dally and Sunday, per month.70
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W. II. Overbey and A. ,T. Eaton, Jr,, ]
arc the only authorized traveling repre-1
eentatlvcs of The Age-Herald in its cir
culation department.
f»o communication will be published
without Its author’s name. Rejected
manuscript will not be returned unless
stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
Remittances can be made at current
late of exchange. The Age-Herald will
[not be responsible for money sent
through the malls. Address,
THE AO E-HERALD,
Birmingham, Ala.
Washington bureau. 207 Hibbs bulld
European bureau, B Henrietta street.
Covent Garden. London.
Eastern business office. Rooms 48 to
60, inclusive, Tribune building.
York city; western business off M.
Tribune building. Chicago. The IS. L.
Beckwtth Special Agency, agents for
:»lgn advertising.
telephone
Bell (private exchange connecting
toll department*). No- <Jrnr
__ -
Who hna breast so pure,
))nt some uncleanly npprebenslons
Keep leets and law-day., and In sea
nloitR «lt
W \ih meditations lawfulT
—Othello.
Paragraph By Paragraph
General debate on the tariff bill is
landed. The Smart Alecks have fired
,off all their shots and the politicians
iin the standpat and progressive
Ss-anks have made their speeches for
^Buncombe. The bill will hereafter be
attacked in detail by amendments as
Section after section of it is read, and
the speaking will be confined to the
five minute rule.
‘ Mr. Underwood’s leadership has suf
fered no check. The party has not had
>«ince the war a leader in whom it had
equal confidence. His integrity and ca
pacity stand unquestioned. His knowl
edge of the complex tariff question is
simply unapproached. Under such a
i leader success becomes assured. Presi
dent Wilson will lend a helping hand.
The sugar trust and the wool in
terests and all the other interests are,
however, depending upon breaks from
the party in the Senate. No ruptures
of this nature will occur. The Balti
more platform is explicit, and any
democratic senator who bolts will
cease to be a democrat. The eyes of
the entire country will be focussed on
the Senate, and the work that Oscar
Underwood has built up after years
of study will rot be undone in the
Senate. The bill will go through the
Senate essentially unamended. The
party is committed to it, and the fierce
(light of publicity will beat upon any
senator who attempts to betray the
((democratic party.
Affairs in Peking
The five-power loan to China;
jil26,000,000,*lias been signed, and the
provisional president, Yuan Shai Kai,
krill get the money, and will be able
[to hold his army intact, simply be
cause be will be able to pay it.
The United States is not a party to
j^his loan, which belongs in the dol
lar diplomacy class. Neither President
jjWilson nor Secretary Bryan believe
Sn dollar diplomacy, and they declined
|fo make this country a part of the
j)oan scheme.
In China there is much dissatisfac
tion over the loan. All know that it
Renders China more or less dependent
upon the five powers, and the party
;Jn the south may attempt to cancel
;the loan. The five powers are Great
■Britain, France, Germany, Russia and
Ljapan, and there is no end to the de
jfenands they may make upon the new
[republic. Fortunately the United
["States has been taken out of the mud
dle, and is in positiion to recognize
;China on a just and friendly basis.
Recognition by this country is de
layed because the lower house of the
Chinese parliament has not been able
to elect a speaker. Just as soon as the
legislature is organized and a perma
nent president elected the recognition
of China by the United States will
■peedily follow. Instructions to that
effect have been sent to American
Charge Williams at Peking. This im
portant act should take place this
week.
Birmingham’s Contribution
Alabama Methodism is to be trusted
lr- an emergency. It is a virile power
that never fails to respond to a just
appeal. The 'Birmingham college
asked the Birmingham district to
contribute $150,000 towards an endow
ment fund and new buildings, and the
Bum was fully subscribed for on Sun
day. The other districts of the con
ference aremise to raise $100,000.
and then President Simpson will feel
that he has the Methodists of Ala
bama at his*back.
The college at Owenton will become
one of the great institutions of the
state-and the Methodists of today
have long felt the need of a college in
which every impulse would come from
the great church that Wesley founded.
The Baptists have an institution 'at
East Lake and the Methodists will
soon have one of equal strength at
Owenton. Birmingham is glad to hold
both of
Every possible effort should be
made to strengthen both, for both
will soon attract students from every
part of Alabama. The two strong
churches in question cover the state
like tlie dew and this city is fortunate
in securing their two great institu
tions of learning.
Uncle Sam's Canal
The Elihu Roots' and Smoots do not
know all the law there is to know.
The law they know is law that favors
the interests, while the broad law that
covers the entire case is ignored.
The subject of the exemption of
coastwise vessels from the payment
of Panama canal tolls was freely dis
cussed at the recent meeting in Wash
ington of the American Society of
International Law. Richard Olney, for
mer Secretary of State, could not at
tend the meeting but he sent a paper
on the subject which was read. “It is
clear,” said Mr. Olney, “that a na
tion or state does not convey away its
property or sovereignty except by
terms that are clear and susceptible
of no other meaning; and that where
the meaning can be taken to favor the
United States, it is the clear right of
the United States to urge that it be
held that the words ‘all nations’ do
not mean to include the United States.
However, it is not necessary to rely
upon this presumption, as the United
States is owner and can fix such terms
as it pleases. If the question is sub
mitted to arbitration it should not be
submitted to The Hague, but to a spe
cial tribunal. The Hague would be
partial as, admittedly, all European
powers interested in the outcome.”
Many of the leading speakers ac
cepted Mr, Olney’s view of the sub
ject. England would pay nearly one
half of the total revenue of the canal,
and she very naturally opposes the
view that Uncle Sam owns the canal
and can name the terms of its use.
It has cost this country, or rather will
cost this country, about $400,000,000
while it will not cost England a penny.
This country certainly has some su
perior rights in the canal, and the ef
fete east and the transcontinental
railroads cannot confuse the situation.
Crop Prospects and Business
Certain ‘‘interests’’ opposed to tariff
revision have been alarmists, as might
have been expected, but for every
pessimist there are 100 optimists.
The many welcome tariff reform and
when the Underwood bill becomes
law even the opponents of revision
will make the best of the situation
and talk and act cheerfully.
What the whole country is hoping
for is an abundant harvest. If last
year’s bumper crops are repeated
business w'ill become more active than
it was even in 1912. Based on the
splendid crops there was a high degree
of prosperity from one end v>f the
country to the other and so it will be
this year, with like crop conditions.
Reports from the winter wheat belt
are even more satisfactory now than
they were at this time a year ago. In
the south cotton planting is from three
to four weeks ahead of the 1912
plating. If we have a good summer
season Alabama will probably make
a new high record crop. This state
is coming ahead steadily in corn pro
duction and the farmers will prob
ably add more to the wealth of the
state this year than in any previous
year.
For a long time the southern farm
ers struggled to keep ahead; now they
are getting rich. Thrift in the agri
cultural districts is seen on every side.
The poverty stricken farmer will in
time become a rare exception to the
rule. Alabama is certain to become
one of the richest states of the union.
The only dark spot now on Ala
bama's record is illiteracy among
those who live in districts with in
adequate school facilities. This blot
will be wiped out only when a con
stitutional amendment is adopted al
lowing each school district to tax it
self for school purposes. In the
meantime, in view of the fine crop
prospects optimism should be as much
in evidence in Alabama as it is in the
country at large.
The students of Harvard university have
asked Cayo Puga, the designer of the
Columbus caravel at the Chicago exposi
tion, tb sell his designs, as they propose
to construct a similar caravel to pass
through the Panama canal at its Inau
guration as a compliment to Spain. It is
proposed that the ships shall go to San
Francisco afterward. Senor Puga replied
that he would present tho designs will
ingly -without any cost. Models of the
Nina, the Plnta and the Santa Marla, Co
lumbus' three famous little vessels, were
exhibited at the Columbian exposition In
Chicago In 1893. New York had a look at
them when they dropped anchor In the
Hudson on April 36 of that year. There
were receptions for tho officers and they
attracted a great deal of attention. They
left for tho world's fair on June 7, 1893,
and got there by way of Montreal and the
great lakes on July 8 of that year.
That Oscar W. TJijderwood of Alabama,
the democratic leader, will be elected j
President of the United States, if the
pending tariff bill Is successful operating
as a law was the testimony of two mem
bers who delivered speeches in the House
last wreek. One of the members who pre
dicted the elevation of Mr. Underwood to
the presidency under the circumstances
indicated was Representative Palmer of
Pennsylvania, a democrat, and the other
Representative Langtry of Kentucky, a
republican. “Jf Mr. Underwood continues
to grow in popularity in this country and
the tariff bi|l is a success, nothing can
stop Mr. Underwood from going to thea
White House,” said Mr. Langtry. “No
combination could defeat him, not even
Bryan, Wilson, Clark, Roosevelt or La
Follette, either singly or working in com
bination.”
More than 12,000,000 copies of “cook
books," prepared by the department of
agriculture, have been issued since this
line of government activity began. By far
the largest number published was of a
bulletin on the “Economic Use of Meat
in the Homes,” which rai^ up to 2,236,000
copies. Congress itself printed 600,000
copies in addition to those distributed by
the department. Of the bread making
pamphlet nearly 500,000 have been dis
tributed, and of the cheese leaflet almost
300,000 have been sent out. Of the mutton
bulletin, just out, 60,000 copies have been
ordered printed for initia’ distribution.
Col. a^m Mrs. George S. Schermerhorn
celebrated in **their home, No. 67 West
Fifty-second street, New York, the fifty
fourth anniversary of their nj^rriage.
During all their wedded life Col. and Mrs.
Schermeihorn have never been separated
from each other a single evening. Neither ;
l>as ever written a letter to Abe other. |
The celebration consisted principally of |
the gathering of their children at the
house for dinner. Maj. Edward G. Scher
merhorn, Governor Sulzer's military sec
retary, a son of the aged couple, came
down from Albany especially for the cele
bration. The Schermerhorns were mar
ried in 1869 by the Rev. Dr. Muhlenberg,
founder of St. Luke’s hospital.
A youth 13 years old and a 19-year-old
girl were the principal characters in a
love tragedy, enacted at Antwerp, Bel
gium, last week. Arm in arm they climbed
to the clock gallery in the tower of the
Notre Dame cathedral, and from a height
of 180 feet leaped into space, falling at
the feet of passersby. Every bone in the
bodies of the boy and ids companion was
broken. As they hurtled through the air
several men and women who witnessed
the sight fainted. According to the po
lice, the leap from the church tower was
in accordance with a premeditated double
suicide pact.
T. Coleman du Pont of Wilmington, Del.,
has bought for $8,000,000 the site of the
Equitable building, destroyed by fire 16
months ago, and will erect thereon a 36
story office building. A mortgage of $2<>,- 1
500,000, the ^largest within recollection of
Manhatatn real estate dealers, was re
corded on the property. When completed
the skyscraper will represent an invest
ment of approximately $30,000,000. The new
building will occupy the entire block
bounded by Broadway, Pine, Nassau and
Cedar streets.
Mrs. Annie G. Rogers, wife of a busi
ness mail in Deadville, Col., has been des
ignated by Secretary I.aqe of the interior
department for appointment as receiver
of the land office at I-eadville, at a sal
ary of $£000 a year. Mrs. Rogers is a
widely known suffragist. “I am partic
ularly glad to name Mrs. Rogers,” said
Secretary Lane, “because it is an estab
lished fact in tho United States that
money can be handled more safely by
women than by men.”
In six years more than 2000 judgments
have been recorded under the pure food
law against food adulterators. Their pun
ishment has never been severe enough.
Senator Hoko Smith denounces profes
j sional baseball as a bold trust, but Pres
ident Wilson hurries away to attend the
games just the same.
__.
Considerable diplomacy can arise from
fresh grape juice and cold water, and
Secretary Bryan stands firmly by his
original formula.
The crushing of little Montenegro by
j Austria-Hungary will shock an honest and
[decent world.
There is now no baseball trust—peace
reigns now, for Tyrus Cobb is back in
the fold.
No barber is warranted to use a perfect
ly fresh towel on every expressive coun
tenance.
It is to be hoped that Secretary Daniels
will make no change in the name of plum
duff.
No industry has gone down faster in
this country than that of standing pat.
Real tariff revision looks well on paper
and it will work well in practice.
Dope and. hope Is the diet of the base
ball fan at present.
Ko tariff bill suits everybody.
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Prospermia Texas
"I have never seen Texas more pros
perous than It Is now," said Buford
D. Chenoweth, who represents nard
ware Interests. "I was there last week
and found business good everywhere.
"Dallas Is full of progress and the
people there are great optimists. Hous
ton is also going right ahead. Fort
Worth Is a very busy city and San
Antonio has inado strides since the
last census was taken. That popular
tourist city Is now far over the 100,000
mark. I think it is safo to say that
every town In Texas, large and small,
Is enjoying unusual prosperity."
Tke Symphony Concert*
"It has been a 3'ear since I had the
opportunity of hearing a symphony
concert," said a musician, "and after
the Cincinnati orchestra visits this eltv
next week It will probably be another
year before symphony music Is heard
here. It used to be that one or two
symphony orchestras were available for
southern, towns in the fall or winter,
but not so now. The Cincinnati or
chestra is the only one that will come
to this part of the country for concert
purposes this spring and Its southern
tour will cover less than a week—two
days in Birmingham, one day in Chat
tanooga and two days In Knoxville. It
is one of the finest orchestras in the
United .States and If Birmingham is
th.* musical city It is believed to be,
i>ll three of the performances here will
attract full houses."
Mr. Dugan** VInit
ft. A. Dugan of Chicago, president of
the Calumet Foundry Supply company,
wrho is now in Birmingham, is being
greeted by his old friends here. When
lie was assistant general manager of the
Southern railway he spent much of his
time in this city and no visiting railroad
official was more popular. Mr. Dugan Is
at the head of a prosperous manufactur
ing company and has a number of cus
tomers in tills district.
“Birmingham Is growing and Improv
ing rapidly,” said Mr. Dugan. ‘‘I was
here for a day in December last. I
noticed the handsome improvements then.
Strides seem to have been made within
the past three months.
‘‘Business in my line is very good and
I am expecting to see a great deal of
prosperity during the late spring and
summer.”
Optimism In the Northwest
“The pig iron market is quiet and it
will probably remain quiet for 30 days
longer,” said William M. Byrd of the
Hammond-Byrd company. “Consumers,
as a rule, are only buying for immediate
needs. In a month from now, however,
I think we will have a brisk market
once more.
“I returned Saturday from a three
weeks’ trip, visiting the middle west and
the northwest. I went as far as Winni
peg. Going north, I stopped at Indian
apolis, Chicago and Duluth and return
ing visited Omaha, Minneapolis, St. Paul
and Missouri points. All through the
northwest I found a great deal of op
timism. Every business man I met was
optimfstic. The great crops last year
brought prosperity and the prospects for
big crops again this year have had the
ifect of^nitting everybody in a good
humor, so far as I could see.
“As to the tariff, the people with whom
I came in contact had discounted in a
large measure the effect tariff revision
would have on the business situation.
Nobody w’as thinking that business would
be depressed by the passage of the Un
derwood hill. On the other hand, every
body was expecting increasing activity in
business just as soon as it was settled.
Many merchants will delay, however,
heavy buying until the new' tariff bill
becomes law. Tills accounts for a tem
porary lull in certain directions. But on
the whole I have never known more op
timism in business circles in the states
I visited than T found the other day. If
crop reports continue to be good we will
soon have healthy activity throughout j
the United States.”
C brlMtmnw Sa^lngK Club
The American Trust and Havings
hank's Christmas club department,
which was opened yesterday, proved to
he decidedly popular. From 9 o'clock
until the closing hour those who want
id to accumulate a snug holiday fund
by depositing small amounts weekly
opened accounts at the Christmas club
counter. Many of the depositors were
boys and girls but there were also
many grown folks, especially women.
Several depositors opened an account
with 5 cents but more started with 10
cents. According to the “progressive
payment" plan, starting with 5 cents and
paying 6 cents each week more than
the week before, thus, 5 cents, 10 cents,
15 cents, etc., the totnl on December
15 will ho $28.05. Those who prefer
to make systematic payments, that is
to say, the sanm amount each week.
25 cents weekly would total $8.25 by
the middle of December.
Any white person ran join the Christ
mas savings club by making the first
deposit and agreeing to make the oth
ers. According to the club rules no
withdrawals are to bo made until De
cember 15. When balances amount t*»
$5 or over 4 per c< nt interest will be
allowed. Another feature of the club
Is that one depositor can have any'
number of accounts. ^
The American Trust and Savings is
the only bank in Alabama that has the
Christmas savings club and with the
exception of the Whitney Central m
Now Orleans it is the only one in the
south.
“The Christmas savijvgs club has
started off well," saitf Assistant Cash
ier E. B. Crawford yesterday after
noon. “The number of depositors on
the first day was fully up to my ex
pectation and I believe that by the end
of the week the payments wrill reach
quite a large volume. Ho muelf for
newspaper advertising.”
What a Difference it Makes
“We hear it frequently and unfortun
ately too truly said that tlie art of read
ing aloud is becoming a lost art, and
that such is the case may l>o learned
any day by attending the courts when
lawyers are reading the law' from the
books, or by listening to tlie chattmanf
at a directors’ meeting read the annual
report of his company's transactions and |
conditions, but on Sunday last," said a
man who attended St. Paul’s church.
“I was pleased to learn that the art is
not yet a lost art and it never will be
so long as the Rev. Father Dougherty
exists.
“I never will forget the expressive and
impressive manner in which that clergy
man read the epistle and gospel. T had
heard them read scores of times pre
viously, but never with such an effect.
Without gesture or any attempt at dra
matic intonation hi* words fell slowly
gnd quietly mm snowflake?, byt yet with
such a weight as to Blnk them deep,
deep fn the head and heart. ‘Be ye
doers of the word, and not hearers only,’
began the epistle, and so quietly, yet
so powerfully was the contrast mad© be
tween tho words 'doers’ and 'hearers’
that a man who failed to understand
must have been a block or a stone.
! Really for the first time in my life did
| I fully realize the beauty of (hat epistle.
"Then in the reading of the gospel
It was almost like hearing Christ him
self speak, 'Amen, amen, l say to you;
if you ask the Father anything in my
name. He will give it you.’ How many
times have I heard tjieso same words,
in one ear and out the other, as the
phrase is, but not so when I lj>eard tHfem
said deliberately and impressively.
"I have known the Herd's prayer from
infancy; liavo said it thousands of times
and have heard it said almost as often,
and yet I never said It or heard It said
as it ought to be said but once and
that was when some actor recited it on
the stage in ‘Quo Vadis.’ Tho way that
actor said the words, 'Our Father,’ put
a significance in the words taken sep
arately and collectively which was a
revelation.
"Certain books should he read aloud
in order to obtain tho real essence, tho
fragrance, as it were, of the flower. Who
can read the second book of Milton's
‘Paradise Host' and hope to derive any
pleasure from it unless his ears are
stunned with the thunder of the words
of Moloch, whose terrific denunciation of
the Almighty shake Pandemonium it
self? All poetry should be read aloud to
be thoroughly enjoyed, and If that pleas
ure fS once really felt few others will
be found to equal it and none to sur
pass."
* DEATH OF DICKENS’ DORRIT
From the Philadelphia Ledger.
Mary Ann Cooper, tlie original Little
Dorrit in Dickens’ famous story, has
passed away at the age of 100. The nov
elist and she were playmates together in
their childhood at Somerstown.
When "Little Dorrit.” was Issued serially
in 1855 to 1857 the readers eagerly awaited
the appearance of each installment, and
the description of William Dorrlt’s prison
through the indignation It evoked had an
effect that was far-reaching in bringing
about prison reform. But it must have
been beyond the wildest dreams of Dick
ens’ little playmate that the boy who
skated, rolled a hoop or entered with zest
into a game of blind man’s buff would
one day confer upon her a literary immor
tality comparable with that, which has
been the portion of Dante’s Beatrice or
Petrarch’s Laura or Burns’ Jean. The poet
speaks proudly of his verse that "Immor
talises whom it sings,” and tills woman,
otherwise unknown to fame, has inherited
imperishable renown in the person of her
literary counterpart.
How easy it would have been for Mary
Ann Cooper to remain forever among “the
forgotten millions.” What was she
among so many in the same street, vil
lage, parish or kingdom? Yet by proxy
she is known around the World, wherever
an English book is read and the tongue
of Milton and Shakespeare is spoken. She
takes her place forever among a gallery of
types who are more real than living peo
ple. Her fame shall not fail, nor her
glory fade as long as David Copperfleld
and Little Nell. Pickwick and Sairy Gamp
and Nicholas Nickleby shall live. A re
nown not of her seeking shall keep the
memory green of the little girl who was
the playmate of Charles Dickens.
BIRMINGHAM A GREAT CITY
From the Montgomery Advertiser.
Mr. Phares Coleman, for a number of
years a prominent member of the bar of
Montgomery, but now' of Birmingham, is
in Montgomery on legal business with
several Jefferson county lawyers. Mr.
Coleman is more and more Impressed
with the rapid growth of Birmingham.
"There is an impression in a number of
Alabama cities and towns that Birming
ham gets Its strength from the men it
draws from these towns and cities of
Alabama,’’ said Mr. Coleman. ‘‘This idea
is erroneous. For Instance, Birmingham
probably draws more peoplo and more
capital from Atlanta than it draws from
any other southern city. It is constant
ly attracting first-class business men and
new capital from Atlanta. Moreover, it
draws people from cities to (ho north, to
the south, and ta the west as well as
from the east. A -man must live in Bir
mingham and learn to know conditions
before he begins to realize what a city
of capital and opportunities It is. There
are six big office buildings in Birming
ham. I venture to say that every one of
them has a waiting list of prospective
tenants; business men who want offices
and who are waiting their turn. When
I went to Birmingham there were 110 on
the waiting list for offices in the First
National Bank building.”
CHIPPENDALE
From Suburban Life.
Besides Ids skill and taste as a cabinet
maker, and bis fortunate judgment ill
adopting varied and sundry styles to the
needs and wishes of ids British patrons,
Chippendale was a good business man.
and thoroughly understood the art of
advertising as then practiced, the art, at
least, of malting himself liked, and at
tracting a large and fashionable clientele—
arid a habitual clientele, at that—to Ills
shop in St. Martin's Lane. The belles and
beaux, as well as the great lords and
haughty, swelling dowagers, were wont
'to gather there of a morning, and were
sure of getting what they sought, no mat
ter whether it was furniture or gossip.
Chippendale always made his patrons
thoroughly welcome and comfortable,
and his shop became to all intents, a kind
of club where all the court chit-chat and
scandal of the metropolis were retailed
amid tlie engaging settings of chairs "in
the Gothlck taste," "Chinese Sophas,"
Louise Qulnze secretaries and tho like.
CXOUDUVO THE ISSUE
From the New York Herald.
If Mr. Underwood emerges from the
House dehates with prestige unimpaired
his stock as a natlj/ial quantity will rise.
He will still be 011 the safe side of GO Irr
19H0—Washington Star.
Why try to becloud the Issue by drag
ging in 1920? What has i920 got to do
with it. anyway?
If Mr. Underwood is elected to the
presidency in WIG—when lie will, almost
inevitably, be bis party's nominee-lie
will be out of the race In WHO. He will
r.ot then be eligible for re-election, for
the democartlc party lias gone solemnly
on record in its platform tlcclaraf'on -
••We favor a single presidential term.”
Tills declaration of policy makes Pres
ident Wilson ineligible for nomination in
WIG. No second cup of coffee for any
democrat 1
So, if not Mr. Underwood in WIG-who.
SIRE!
From The New York Telegram.
Biography of Representative Under
wood in the congressional directory
I takes five lines. His fame U securo
without tooting any horn*.
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
SAD CASE OF TRAVERS GREEN.
When Travers Green was feeling gay
He lightly sought some cabaret
And when “Fleurette” began to dance
He’d give a coijnnoisseur's glance,
As if to all the world to say,
"I know what’s what in a cabaret.”
Anon he 6ipped the sparkling wine,
Where countless lights were wont to
shine;
Hi* dress was faultless to behold,
His manners easy, yet not bold,
And had you but observed him there,
You would have thought him free from
care.
Alas, alack for Travers Green!
No more in glided haunts Is seen;
His dad w ho used Ids bills to pay
For motors, clubs and cabaret, •
And cqatly clothes and chorus gills
And many, many merry W'hirls,
Has cut poor Travers off without
The wherewithal to roam about:
And since tills youth has never toiled,
Nor felt his hands by labor soiled,
What lies before I cannot say,
But he dines no more in a cabaret.
CAUTIOUS.
“Waiter, do you guarantee these eggs?”
“No, sir. I’m very optimistic about
those eggs, sir, but I don’t guarantee
’em.”
THAT’S NOT BUSINESS.
’Tis true that advertising pays—
I’ve tried it out, you see;
But don’t believe the man who says
He’ll give you something free.
WORRYING SENATORS.
Paul Cook in The Age-Herald litters
this truth: “It must he painful and ar
duous for a senator qf the United States
to keep his ear to the ground, but he’ll
have to do it in the future If he wants to
hold his Job.” Methinks I hear several
sedate senators excitedly inquire, “What’s
that?”—Pine Belt News.
A LETHAL DOSE.
Behold the pampered poodle pup,
Disgusting sight to see;
If he’d lap what I’d give him up,
He’d shortly cease to be.
TOUGH ON THE BARDS.
’Tis very hard to he a bard,
As everybody knowrs,
And never praise the nightingale
And never sing the rose.
—Birmingnam Age-IIerald.
'Tis harder still to pen a rhyme
With nary word of June,
With no thought of the summer time
And ne’er a shining, moon.
—Youngstown Telegram. 1
It is a cinch to sing a lay
Of nightingales and June, 4
But It Is hard to make it pay
Without a ragtime tune.
—Milwaukee Semin*-1
It Is no cinch to build each day
A col. (and that’s no sham;
Without Maud Muller raking hay,
Or Mary's little lamb,
—Houston Po.v
It Is no cinolifto paragraph
'Bout politics and graft,
From every line must come a laugh,
That’s why we thank Bill Taft.
—Buffalo Time*
Some of the stuff the singers write
Should oft be classed as screams,
Particularly when bards live
In towns with tail end teams.
—St. Louis Times
MASTER OF TITS FATE
That man, we’ve found,
Doth feel first class,
Who carries round
A season pass.
TESTS.
It’s easy enough to be pleasant,
When a fellow is single and gay,
But the man worth while Is the one who
can smile
When his wife throw’s money away.
—Birmingham Age-Herald.
It's easy enough to he pleasant,
If with your best girl you happen to h'*;
But the man worth while is the man wlm
pan smile,
When with another fellow she happens
to flee. —C. M. Turner.
DEPONENT SAYETH NOT.
“Mr. Bill Martin stayed in our commun-*s.
ity Saturday night on the account of had
luck,” wrltas the Dry Valley correspond
ent of the Shelby County Review. Won
der what happened to Bill?
THAT ROCKY ROAD.
“Reading anything these days, Dubkiu?”
“Yes, I finished a high-brow novel just
yesterday, and now, confound the luck!
1 have a new list of words to look up in
the dictionary.”
SHOULD DO BIG BUSINESS.
Wc note the presence of the “Bald Hea l
Barber Shop” in Birmingham. Probably
a place where hair tonic is not recom
mended. PAUL COOK.
DIAGNOSIS OF CRIME
From the Philadelphia North American.
DOCTOR DE NEUVILLE, a French
physician, who has specialized on
the medico-logal aspects of hts
profession, has been telling some true
stories of detective work by physicians
that equals the mythical achievements of
Sherlock Holmes. There are several sides
of the law that hear on medicine and sur
gery, and there are various specialists
who devote themselves to one or all of
these important relations.
The specialist who receives In the United
States a good deal more attention front
the newspapers than from medical Jour
nals Is that useful adjunct to tho police
force who is known as the police surgeon.
Here his duties seldom, If ever, go be
yond the office of diagnosing ailments,
attending Illness and preventing tho
spread of contagion. But in France he
oftentimes brinks'to bear upon mysterious
crimes the acumen of his trained intelli
gence and the knowledge of his practical
profession. He is likely to act as an as
sistant to the detectives along the linos
of his expert observation.
Four years ago one of the "legal doc
tors ' of the police force received bis noti
fication, to accompany gendarmes to the
scene of a death-that of a woman inn
keeper. The apartment where the woman
bad been found dead bad not been dis
turbed; 1 be legal doctor bad full play for
his faculty of observation.
He went all over the room and used bis
microscope at various places and on sev
eral objects that appeared to Interest film
particularly. At last ha Inquired tba
name of the last vessel that had rome In
It proved to be the Donna Maria, from
Sicily. He delivered bis opinion, then,
without a moment's delay or a sigh of
uncertainty.
“A left handed man wearing a slight
mustache murdered this woman. He Is
probably a Sicilian, who arrived on the
Donna Marla. He Is more than 5 feet ti
inches in height. He was acquainted with
his victim, having been a guest previous
ly at her inn. So he knew that she often
got drunk. He broke in, killed her be
cause he feared she would awaken while
he was robbing the place and made good
his escape. He has In his pocket now the
stump of the candle he used to light him
in committing his crime. Make a swift
search for a stranger answering this de
scription.”
While one of the Havre detectives has
tened to take up the quest, the doctor gave
his reason for reducing all these details:
“In entering the murderer cut himself
at the door, and a blood stained splinter
of the wood makes it clear that he is left
handed. To one side of the spot where
the blood dripped on the floor you can see
some candle grease; that is where his
candle dripped. It. is obvious that, W’hile
he held in his left hand trie weapon he
used, he carried the candle in the right.
When I put tho microscope on the candle
droppings I could recognize them as com
ing from a Sicilian candle, having studied
very closely the Bertlllon collection of
candles, assembled from ail parts of the
world. I now surmised that anyone who
would he using a Sicilian candle must
have just arrived from Sicily. In the can
dle greases there appeared two small red
dish hairs very different in their texture
from those which grow In the beard. The
assassin must have stood there, holding
the candle after he committed the murder,
while he debated bis crime and his next
procedure.”
It was not long before tho detective
brought in a Sicilian named Foforazzo,
who had been one of the Donna Maria's
pasesngers. The doctor, having a piece
of paper ready, offered it to him. Ho
-reached out his left. hand, which was cut,
to take It. When they searched him the
candle end was found in his pocket, and
when they questioned him he confessed
the murder.
I NDBRWOOD HAS WON HIS SPURS
From the Nashville Tennessean.
Chairman Underwood of the House
ways and means committee, who has
shown great skill In his leadership for
tariff revision and#who lias demonstrated
his ability and knowledge, bas won his
spurs as the rhampton of democratic poli
cies and principles.
Never before has the democratic parti
been so nearly a unit on- those tilings
that vitally effect the American people
as is shown in the unanimity of senti
ment and opinion respecting revision of
the tariff on a revenue raising basis.
Chairman Underwood has made good in
his leadership of the great cause, hav
ing fully met the exepctatlgns of Ills
friends and completely disappointed his
enemies in that he has failed to do what
his enemies 'hoped ho would do, and
done what his friends proclaimed would
be his course In Congress.
"One of the democratic figures which
stand out In fine and high relief in the
battle for tariff reform,” says the Balti
moer Sun, "Is that of Chairman Under
wood of the ways and means committee.
His explanation of the principle on which
reductions In Tates have been based,
emphasizes the same point which Presi
dent Wilson dwelt on in Ms message to
Congress—the advantage of competition,
not only to the consumer, but to the
manufacturer and the producer. Its
'wholesome Influence' In the development
of commerce and the extension of busi
ness as w-ell as In the relief of the peo
ple.”
In commenting further, that paper pais
Chairman Underwood a fine tribute, sav
ing:
"During the .arnpaign for the demo
cratic nomination there were suggestions
from time to time that Mr. Underwood's
heart was not wholly given to tariff re
form, and that when he reached certain,
crucial items he might flinch. There was
really no basis for these suggestion?, for
Mr. Underwood's course has been singu
larly frank, straightforward and manly
at every stage of tariff revision, and he
has shown himself during former as well
as present discussions of the subject In
line with popular sentiment and absolute
ly independent of sectional or business
interests or Influences. The statement
which accompanies the tariff bill just
submitted to Congress ronrirms the fine
public impression of Mi'. Underwood aa
a man of genuine democratic sympathies,
of broad patriotism and of far-reaching
vision. He towers up strong and clean
and able among the present day leaders
of democracy."
Credit for an intelligent and equitable
revision of the tariff, which must cer
tainly come, will he due largely to the
zealous and faithful service of such men
as Chairman Underwood, who have la
bored hard and long to do in this mattar
what the democratic party has been en
trusted to do by the American people
In its emphatic and positive instructions
as were ever given to a political party.
Among tbo many able and faithful
democrats who are standing with Chair
man Underwood hi this fight Is Judge
Cordell Hull of the Fourth district of
Tennessee. He prepared the income tax
feature of the tariff bill, which has
withstood, the assaults of Its enemies
and grown stronger with those who favor
this new and untried way of raising rev
enue for the federal government. He
has performed this service as he has per
formed all his duties as a public ser
vant—he has performed it faithfully and
well, and the democrats of Tennessee and
the nation are proud of him and grate
ful for his work as they are proud of
Chairman Underwood and grateful fog
his work.
UNDERWOOD NOT WORRYING
From the Kansas City Star.
Mr. Underwood, having the votes, Is
willing to let the other aide have the
talk.
IN THE WOOD OF FINVARA
By Arthur Symons.
I have grown tired of sorrow, and human
tears;
Life Is a dream in the night, a fear among
tears,
A naked runner lost in a storm of spears.
I have grown tired of rapture and love's
desire;
Love Is a' flaming heart, and Its dames
aspire
Till they cloud the Soul in the smoke of
a windy lire.
I would wash the dust of the world In a
soft green flood;
Here, between sea and sea, In a fairy
" wood,
I have found a delicate, wave greeit soli
tude.
Here. In the fairy wood, between sea and
sea.
I have heard the song of a fairy bird In
a tree.
I And tbe peace that is not In the world
fcas flown to me.

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