The Birmingham age-herald. [volume], May 15, 1913, Page 4, Image 4

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THE AGE-HERALD
K. W. BARRETT.Editor
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departments 1, No. 4900.
I am for the house with the narrow
gate, which I lake to he too little for
pomp to enter.
—All’s Well That Ends Well.
King of Albania
The Albanian delegates are said to
lie considering Theodore Roosevelt—
our own Theodore—as their King.
Some say he is not rich enough to be
a King in Albania, which is a country
that likes to see men and money
joined together. Possibly his friends in
the Harvester trust and elsewhere
would supply any deficiencies that
may exist in his personal holdings.
But there are other things to be con
sidered. Colonel Roosevelt has never
played the second fiddle anywhere. In
Albania the Emperor of Austria-Hun
gary would certainly stand ready to
dictate tone and all else that came
handy, and this would not be pleasant
to the hero from America and Africa.
And then again the colonel would not
thrive in a small country holding
only a million or two of people, after
he had become accustomed to 90,000,
000 of people in a vast country.
The proposition is really a misfit.
The colonel has a mission here. He
proposes to wind up the party that
he says has fulfilled its mission. It
should be placed in liquidation, he
thinks, and he is attending closely to
this big piece of business. He hopes
to complete his task in 1916, and the
Albanians want a King now. They
cannot wait, and so they will be com
pelled to look elsewhere.
Earthquake Predictions
The occurrence of an earthquake in
northern New York on August 28 has
led Prof. George Hallock Chadwick,
who fills the chair of geology of St.
Lawrence university, located at the
scene of the recent vibration, to pre
dict seismic slipping and disturbances
all along the Appalachian region from
Quebec to Alabama. Professor Chad
wick bases his opinion on the fault
line that was developed along the An
des from Chili to San Francisco about
10 years ago. He also refers to the
heavy shock which occurred in 166,3
•at the northern end of the Appalachian
range. The earthquake of 1663 was
not, however, felt south of Pennsylva
nia.
Some earth tremblings may occur
along the Appalachian range, but Pro
fessor Chadwick’s data is pretty in
definite, and altogether his forecast
is but a guess. A section that goes
nearly three hundred years without
any heavy earth jars cannot be put in
the earthquake belt on slight testi
mony. Nor is there any known instance
of an earthquake in the southern sec
tion of the fault line that could be
traced to a similar jar farther north.
The Chadwick theory is after all a
possibility but not a probability.
Change of Church Name Proposed
The general convention of the
Protestant Episcopal church meets
next fall in New York city and no
doubt many interesting questions per
taining to that church will be brought
before the delegates. At one time it
was thought that perhaps one of the
most interesting would relate to a
change in the name of the church. In
the far west a movement had sprung
up to change the name from “Protest
ant Episcopal” to “Holy Catholic” or
“American Catholic.” The recent ac
tion of several diocesan councils in
cluding that of Alabama goes to show,
however, that there js no general de
sire for a change in the name of the
church. The Church of Rome has a
time-honored monopoly of the word
“Catholic,” and it would be_confusing
to have two churches striving to secure
a single name.
It is safe to say it will not be done.
One diocese after another is voting
against any change in name. Low
churchmen and broad churchmen in all
parts of the country are opposing the
proposition, and from the present out
look it will not command a large vote
in the general convention. It may,
however, become the subject of a
warm discussion.
“The south,” says the Mobile Reg
ister, “has hardly been touched by the
name movement,’’ and it is believed
that there will be again a solid south
when the general convention meets in
New York in October next.
Fair Trial for the Underwood Law
President Wilgon cannot compel a
manufacturing plant to continue pro
duction after the passage of the Un
derwood bill, no matter how political
or malicious it may be, but he pro
poses to ask Congress to appropriate
$100,000 to pay the expenses of in
vestigating any company which re
duces wages ostensibly because of the
new tariff rates. He has a right to in
vestigate without limit.
Further than this the Sherman anti
trust law will be invoked should in
formation come to the President that a
group of manufacturers has agreed to
cut wages, shut down plants, or other
wise act with the seeming purpose of
discrediting the Underwood law.
The President is very much in earn
est in this matter, and if Congress
backs him up he will beyond doubt
see that the proposed new rates are
tested under just and honest condi
tions. Any conspiracy on the part of
combining manufacturers would be
quickly exposed. Several departments
and bureaus stand ready to take hold
of. the work and all in all it is safe to
say that an energetic and alert ad
ministration will take steps to give
consumers a chance to see lower tariff
rates fairly inaugurated.
Political Off Year
The year 1913 is a formative year
in this state politically speaking, and
cautious candidates will await its out
come before making formal announce
ments of intentions to seek the votes
of the people. And especially is this
the case as to all those who propose
to go before the people on the railroad
issue, which in 1906 was the para
mount issue.
Judge Grubb's recent decision is
comprehensive and far-reaching and it
may before the spring of 1914 elimi
nate the railroad issue altogether in
this state. In that event it may be
impossible “to push the load over the
hill,” simply because there will be no
load to be pushed.
However, The Age-Herald has no
desire to interfere with the ambition
of those who desire to serve the state.
It simply desires to say that this is
emphatically an “off” year in this
state and that next year should not be
robbed of any of its glory by previous
action this year.
Walter Pulitzer of New York announces
that on September 1 next he will begin
the publication of a new national maga
zine for the discussion of Important na
tional and international questions. A bu
reau of experts on domestic ard foreign
political questions will be established in
this city. The new periodical will be
known as Pulitzer s Magazine. It will
contain departments devoted to literature
and art. In announcing his plans for the
magazine, Mr. Fulltber said: "A great
national problem is looming forward in
our country. The people have been misled
by their own desire for sensation. Out of
tiie fever of muckraking has grown a dis
ease of sullen discontent with established
institutions. Socialism is threatening
American life. Today' the constructive
elements of our oountry have no mouth
piece and need able, far seeing leadership
of thought. The conservative element has
worked on in silence too long. The time
has come for the voice to speak, Pulit-'
zor's Magazine purposes to tie the me
dium for that voice throughout the na
tion.”
The Dally Citizen, the organ of the Eng
lish labor party, commenting on the sug
gestion that Theodore Rosevelt he made
King of Albania, says: "Teddy and Es
sad and Nicholas, between them, should
make that corner of Europe Just hum.
"After all, for tho sake of making the
world more Interesting, why should not
the ex-PresIdent apply? It would be a
comedown, no doubt, from the White
House, but then there Is the style, title
and dignity. The Interesting thing now is
to hear what Vienna has to say about It.
Certainly Roosevelt Rex would not take
his policy from that quarter. He Is no
Duke of 1'rach. He would open up Albania
and cut Austria out commercially with
the utmost coolness. “In fact, all sorts of
possibilities suggest themselves. For one
thing Europe would have the spectacle of
a kingship on up to date business princi
ples. The one doubt is whether Europe
really wants a live man. All the odds are
in favor of some titular dummy."
Oongresss will be asked next year to ap
propriate for one battleship a mammoth
dreadnought displai ing 4",000 tons and
costing about $20,000,000—acording to tenta
tive plans of the navy general board, Just
made public. This year the navy depart
ment asked for three battleships and get
one, as it did last year, when three were
requested. Till* one battleship, with a
displacement of 40.000 tons, would be Just
about one-fourth larger than any ship yet
authorized by Congress and would easily
rank as the largest and most formidable
warship in the world. The plans contem
plate giving the dreadnaught engines that
would drive her through the water at ^he
rate of 25 knots an hour. The armament
lias not been anouneed, but It would at
least be equal to that of the last ship au
thorized, wliirh will carry a main I at
tery of 12 14 ineh rifles, mounted in four
turrets, four guns to a turret.
When President Wilson and the Brit
ish ambassador occupy one box at a ball
game it will be plain that friction bettPecn
the two countries will not last Ions over
the iiay-Pauncefote treaty.
"What's the use of cleaning the cellar?
You've soli the house. Let the buyers do
the cleaning." said friends of Miss Ger
trude Furlong, who last wek sold the
house at 10 Broad street, Albany, N. Y.,
left her by her father. "I'm ashamed to
leave it in such condition,” was her reply.
Saturday sthe began throwing out the
old tins and kettles which littered the
cellar. One big kettle, crumbling with
rust, went to pieces as It fell and from It
flew a shower of gold pieces. Miss Fur
long found $13,000 in gold, bills and bonds.
Her father was a railroad switchman and
no one knew he had wealth.
The. papaya, a tropical fruit that is
shaped like a cantaloupe, colored like a
green watermelon and tastes like more,
has been made to flourish in Florida by
the department of agriculture, after years
of trials and failures. Boon the new fruit,
which Is unknown in this part of the
continent, will be put on the market. The
flesh of the papaya has to be eaten with
a spoon, It Is so soft and delicate. Gov
ernment experts did not meet with suc
cess in trying to produce the papaya from
seeds,*but by grafting they won. A small
tree which bears many papayas Is pro
duced. .
It is announced that Dr. Frederich
Franz Friedmann, or rather the New
York corporation that is backing his tu
berculosis treatment, will open a hospital
in Denver within six weeks. Dr. Samuel
Lansidsmann, his representative there,
who was formerly connected with the
People's hospital of New York, says the
serum will be administered at a price of
$500 a patient.
More than 100 whal#S tumbled ahout the
steamship Calidonla, of the Anchor I,lne,
which arrived In New York on Mondav
from Glasgow. The whales were In si^ht
he whole of Friday. Some of the larger
ones were from 80 to 100 feet In length,
according to Capt. F. H. Wadsworth, and
there were a few perfect baby whales In
the school that rated 1000 points In the sea
tale test. *
It Is reported that the President Is be
coming unpopular with the politicians
This is good news. The success of the ad
ministration will soon become assured.
The I'nderwood bill promises to outlive
any one of its predecessors, and to be
come a permanent part of the political
history of the country.
The millionaires who do not want to pay
an income tax can move to the Philip
pines or Porto Rico, both of which are
beyond its range.
President Wilson bids fair to secure in
New- Jersey an excellent jury bill. Here
tofore the sheriffs have manipulated juries
in that state.
The new British ambassador Is a base
ball fan, which Is certainly better than
devotion to the tennis court or even golf
ing.
The Senate will endeavor to change the
tariff In several hundred ways in order
to maintain Its prestige and precedents
Uncle Joe Cannon left his poker table
behind, but Nelson W. .-.tdrich permitted
no chance in any of his schemes.
Jack London writes a thousand words
a day, and he lets no w'eek day go by
without its quota of words.
The verbal output in the Senate over
the tariff bill will be great, but it may
mean very little.
All the modern treaties seem to have
a disagreeable side for this country.
The Senate will indulge in a wholly un
called for talk fest over the tariff.
Sometimes a good forgettery serves on:;
better than a good memory.
A crying baby is simply developing its
lungs.
———
MOItFI ABOUT THAT PARADE
From the New York Telegram.
Anti-suffragettes claim the American
Beauty. IVe nold no brief for cither side,
but after the parade of Saturday the antis
might as well understand we are from
Missouri.
—
By the way. speaking 'of the parade, it
seems hard to pick little flaws where so
much was excellent, but—ach, the music:
Those hands evidently hadn't been re
hearsed.
Think of a grand looking woman, head
erect, eyes front, stepping'out like a gren
adier in front of a band thundering out
"Here Comes My Daddy Now."
And that wasn't all. File after file or
well drilled women in perfect alignment
went by to the strains of "On the Trail
of the Lonesome Pine."
It was a relief to hear some of Sousa's
marches swelling in'tlie distance and no
tice the effect on the paraders. but the
next band probably spoiled it all.
One exceedingly dignified division lead
er. whose youthful figure and step helled
her gray hair, was followed by a lot or
windjammers splitting the air with
"Dancing at the Devil’s Kail."
Apart from the music perhaps the most
incongruous part of the great trek was
the division consisting of four old men
and a toy in knickerbockers carrying a
banner bearing the legend "We Are Op
posed to White 3Javery.
THE BRAIN WORK
From the Philadelphia Telegraph.
In the lobby of a Washington hotel
the other evening they were talking
about big legal fees when Representa
tive Koenig cited a case.
Sometime since, according to the rep
resentative, a man fell Into an open coal
hole, sued for damages and was award
ed a subslantlal amount. When he re
celved a hill from his lawyer, however,
lie .wfts stunned again, and as soon as
he could get into bustling shape he
hastened to see him.
"Your bill is outrageous!" exclaimed
tile client to the legaleone. "It is more
than three-fourths of the amount that
l recovered."
"Quite true," was the calm response
of the lawyer, "but you mustn't forget
that I finnished the skill and legai
learning for the case.”
“Yes,” excitedly cried the client, "bur
1 furnished the case.”
“Oh, as far as that goes,” was the
soprnful reply of the lawyer, "anybody
'■ait but down a coal holel'*
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Should Rat Fifth
“It is a strange fact that the American
people seem to prefer to wait until cer
tain lines of food are out of season and
the price has naturally advanced before
buying for home consumption," said B.
B. Hudson. "Take, for instance, fish.
This is the time of the year people go
fishing. It is the fish season. They were
never selling at better prices and the
supply is exceptionally good. But do peo
ple eat fish? They do not. Now, 1n the
winter, when fish are not in season and
the price is very high it is hard to sup
ply the trade.
"It is a strange world made up of
strange people. I have never been able to
see why there is so much ‘kicking’ about
the cost of meat and the cost of living
generally when fish are selling at 5c, 7c,
8c and 10c a pound."
Growth of Pensacola
"Pensacola Is growing very rapidly
and is beyond all doubt one of tho
best towns In the south," said John
A. Sparrow, who has recently returned
from a trip to Florida.
"I was astonished at the progress be
ing made and the signs of substantial
prosperity on every side. Pensacola has
a fine citizenship composed of enter
prising people who have the city’s
welfare at heart. They are naturally
proud of their city and they are look
ing forward to a splendid future de
velopment.
"Pensacola’s magnificent land locked
harbor gives her a great advantage
as a seaport town and the opening of
the Panama canal will inaugurate an
era of greater prosperity which will
doubtless make Pensacola one of the
largest seaport cities in the country.
Despite the fact that Pensacola’s ad
vancement has been so rapid in the
past few years, real estate prices are
still quite reasonable and excellent op
portunities are afforded for invest
ments."
Atlanta Get* Shrine Convention
“The south is much more to the front
from a national convention point of view
than it was a few’ years ago, as evi
denced by the fact that the Shriners, now
holding their annual meeting in Dallas,
have accepted Atlanta’s invitation to meet
there nexet year, notwithstanding the
strong efforts made in behalf of Buffalo,’’
said an old citizen.
“I am not a member of the Shrine, but
I appreciate the fact that this adjunct
to Masonry is made up of live wires.
Meet a Shriner and you meet a man
bristling with good fellowship; one who
knows how to enjoy life. Few conven
tions enliven a city ns much as the ‘Im
rerlal Temple’ of the ‘Ancient Arabic
Order.’
“A a proposition to meet in the south
two years in succession would have been
considered out of the question a few
years ago. If a large national body ac
cepted an Invitation to meet in a south
ern city once in three or four years the
south was doing well. But things have
changed and the Shriners come south two
yea*e together.”
XnMhvIIIc'a Hum! Concert*
“Nashville is to spend $10,000 this sum
mer for park concerts.” said a man w’ho
keeps in touch with the Tennessee capital.
“A band of 30 men will play daily dur
ing 15 weeks.
“’Memphis has excellent hand concerts,
but it is safe to say that no city in the
south is as liberal in expenditure as Nash
\ ille. The $10,000 set aside for music
comes from the city of Nashville through
the park commission. That commission
has an independent fund created by a
contract with the street car company, a
certain proportion of the street car re
ceipts being used only for park purposes.
"Some day Birmingham will be able to
make adequate appropriations for open
air music, but at the present time the
commissioners feel that they have to
keep down expenses not absolutely neces
sary. Free summer concerts, however,
have come to be looked upon as well nigh
indispensable. Open air music certainly
comes under the head of a civic require
ment and the city should strain a point
and do something. And it might be well
also for the Chamber of Commerce to
consider this matter and help out. It
would be too bad if Birmingham had to
go through this summer without open
air music.”
Polities In 101(1
"No one can predict with any rea
sonable degree of confidence that this
parly or that parly will win at the
polls in 1916,” said A. J. Atherton of
Chirago.
"During Mr. Cleveland's second ad
ministration it seemed certain that the
democrats would be defeated in 1896
but the situation at the present time
has us guessing. I am no politician
but 1 have been an observer of poli
tics for 20 years and 1 have 'called the
turn' several lime, but 1 cannot do It
now.
"In the last election I voted the
progressive ticket headed by Colonel
Roosevelt. President Wilson Is start
ing out well—far better than I thought
he would. If his administration is a
success anT if the country thrives un
der the Underwood tariff the democrats
will have a fine chance of continuing
in office. Hither Underwood or Wil
son will be the democrat standard
bearer in 1916. But no one kgows
how fhe revised tariff will take. There
is a good outlook for big crops this
summer and big crops will mean busi
ness prosperity—for a few months at
least.
"I would not be surprised to see the
democrats win another victory but, on
the other hand, I would not be sur
prised if Roosevelt was the winner In
1916. 1 do not think there is any
show whatever for the G. O. P.”
The Gettysburg Reunion
‘Tlie fiftieth anniversary of the battle
of Gettysburg Is to he the notable patri
otic event of the year," said a member of
Camp Hardee, "and the United Confed
erate veterans as well as the Grand
Army of the Republic will have a large
part in t.he celebration—July 1, 2, 3 and
t. The Confederate vetert ns of Alabama
will be well represented.
"The Gettysburg commission with head-*
quarters at Harrisburg has made exten
sive plans and will have charge of the
celebration. J. M. Schoomaker, who was
colonel of the Fourteenth Pennsylvania
cavalry, is chairman of the commission.
His circular is full of interesting details.
Clause No. 10 Is ot special interest to all
veterans who propose to take part in the
Gettysburg event. It says:
•' 'Under the acts of assembly of Penn
sylvania and of the Congress of the Uni
ted States, only veterans of the civil war
may be provided food, shelter and enter
tainment within the great camp around
the battlefield: therefore, no woman, nor
child, nor any man not such veteran,
will be given such food, shelter or enter
tainment therein, and no veteran accom
panied at. Gettysburg by a woman or child,
pr man not such veteran* will be gl\eu
any such fo^»d, shelter or entertainment
therein for himself and them also, but
only for himself alone, the above laws
so prohibiting, and tnerefore no sleeping,
toilet, or other arrangements that would
make it possible for women or children
! to sleep or be fed in the camp have or
will be made. Further, no veteran should
bring to Gettysburg any member of his
family or other person for whom he will
so have to obtain food and quarters out
side the camp, unless all arrangements
therefore have first been made and se
cured by him for them before he or they :
come to Gettysburg.’ ”
--
WHAT IS A GHOST?
| Charles Johnston, in Harper’s Weekly.
In a letter written a few weeks later,
on January 7, 1904, Myers brings out a
very important point; that apparitions of
'•the dead are, what we have already sug
gested apparitions of the living to be,
thought forms transferred from one mind
to another; in this case from the mind
of the dead to the mind of the living.
“I w’ant to make it thoroughly clear to
you that the eidolon (apparition), is not
the spirit, not the simulacrum, if M
were to see me sitting at my table, or
if any one of you became conscious of
any semblance sttnding near my chair,
that would not be I. My spirit would be
there, invisible but perceptive, but the
appearance would be merely to call your
attention to identify me. It fades ami
grows less easily recognized as the years
pass, and my remembrance of my earthly
appearance grows weaker. If you saw me
as I am now you would not recognize me
in the least.
” 'All I ^?ould never be, all men refused
in me,
This was I worth to God whose wheel
the pitcher shaped.’
**I appear now as I would fain have
been, as I desired to be in the very vain
dreams of youth, and the time-lined,
pain-lined, suffering face that some of
you remember with tenderness is a mere
mask now that I strive to conjure up for
you to know me by. But my power is
weak and you are not really receptive.
. • , Remember once again that the
phantom, the so-called ghost, is a coun
terfeit presentment projected by the
spirit.”
UNDERWOOD'S SAGACITY
From the New York Post,
Congressman Underwood emerges from
the tariff fight in the House with a
heightened reputation for legislative sa
gacity and skill. His management of the
bill was so fair as well as adroit that
even his republican and progressive op
ponents acknowledged that he left them
no ground for complaint. It is now evi
dent that his asking the democratic cau
cus to thresh the whole bill out in ad
vance was a master stroke. In that way
differences in the party were debated and
voted to a settlement, so that, once in the
House, the bill had a virtually united
democratic support, and all the objecting
and moving of amendments were left to
the republicans. This tended to its easy
and swift passage. In his closing re
marks, Mr. Underwood Indulged in no
boasting, but spoke quietly of his hope
that the new tariff would he a help in
cutting down the cost of living, while
putting manufacture on a competitive but
secure basis. Just one note of warning
did Mr. Underwood sound. It was that if
any employers proceeded to reduce w'ages
on the pretense of being compelled to do
so by the new tariff, the government
would at once use its power to investi
gate the question and find out whether
there was any justification for the step.
This is in line with what Secretary Red
field is already undertaking in reference
to the claims of pottery manufacturers.
It is an application to protectionists of
the doctrine of “pitiless publicity."
SHOOTING AT THE MOVIES
From the London Illustrated News.
The latest use of the cinematograph is
to provide “living" targets. Those prac
ticing shooting fire at moving figures as
they are shown on the screen. To quote
an official description, "Every time you
fire the picture stops for a second or so,
and the passage of the bullet through it
is shown by a hole of light; then the pic
ture starts to move again. The report of
the rifle Is caught by microphones sus
pended above the target, and the sound
is conveyed to the cabin in which the
picture operator works, actuating a relay
instrument, which is connected with the
picture machine and momentarily checks
th? passage of the film.
The disappearance of the shot holes in
the screens Is caused by a kind of triple
screen. Behind the forward one, on
which the pictures are thrown, are two
others* consisting of rolls of white paper,
one moving a fraction horizontally after
each shot. The shot goes through all
three screens, but when the two mov
ing ones alter positions, they, of course,
cover up any hole made, as no two holes
synchronise on the series of three
screens. Your particular b*jort depends
o i the film. You can shoot seagulls, wild
tigers, otters, kangaroos; in fact, any
thing which the film can “catch.”
NOT VERY SINFUI,
From the Louisville Courier-Journal.
Says a Washington telegram:
"Mrs. A. J. George of Boston, In a
statement given out at the headquarters
of the National Association Opposed to
Woman Suffrage today, declares that the
costumes worn by women In the suffrage
parade in New York last Saturday were
intended to make an appeal to sex and
not to the reason of men.
“In the suffrage parade on Saturday
-there were to be seen those things which
are commonly and rightfully decried by
all men and women who wish to see so
ciety improved. There was the sheath
gewn, the split skirt, the low necked
gown, for instance. It all goes to show
that sex is at the bottom of the suffrage
d’.sturbancp as it is at the bottom of other
misguided movements.
"When women, banded together for any
political purpose, use the sex appeal as
flagrantly as it was done o.i Fifth avenue
Saturday they make the confession that
they rely on their sex rather than on
tlielr arguments."
There was once a lad who, when caught
in the act of Ashing upon the Sabbath,
.observed that lie supposed he had not
been very sinful, as he had had "nary a
nibble."
CHEERING THE INVALID
From Norman E. Mack’s National
i Monthly.
They sent Willie to Inquire about the
condition of a sick neighbor, giving him
instructions not to worry the sick man.
Willie returned with a pleased look on
his face, as though he had carried out
his Instructions to the very letter.
"I tell you, mammy, I cheered up Mr.
Smith all right. I told hlni ttiat when
he died we was all going to his funeral,
and that the neighbors had already
cl ipped In to buy a wreath for his casket,
and 1 only asked hltn one question: 'What
was his favorite flower?’
“It would be so nice, I told him, to
have the wreath made out of them.’*
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
LASSITUDE
Spring fever has us going aod there's
\ just no use of blowing
’Bout the energy we really don’t pos
sess;
Though we may be good at bluffing, still
our daily column stuffing
'Tis a mere pretense of working, none
the less.
Sweet it is, half-lost In slumber, just to
lie in bed and number
Fleeting moments as they’re measured
! by the clock, ,
Dreaming, dozing, hesitating, for some
motive power waiting
That will rouse us from cur languor
with a shock.
There’s, forsooth, the call of duty and
a world aglow with beauty
And the money that a toiler ougfat to
make,
But to save our sorry carcass, If you’d
only stand end mark us,
You would cee we simply cannot keep
awake!
» PROVIDING FOR THE FUTURE
"I a mthinking of adopting a literary
career,” said young Pilcher. “What
would you advise?”
"First of all,” answered his elderly
friend, Wasby, "I would advise you be
fore adopting a literary career to see if
you can’t get yourself adopted by some
childless millionaire.”
SOME EXCUSE, TOO
Guzzllt, wfe hear,
Gets very w'roth
When half his bt-er
Is simply froth.
SKEPTICAL
"Have you heard that this country is
full of Japanese spies?”
"No, and I don’t believe Japan knows
anything about it, either.”
SEEMS TO HURT
'Tis hard not to frown,
And to keep quite cool,
When one is put down
As a “Wall street tool.”
BROKE
I don’t consider I am broke,
At least, not what’s considered such
Until the wife refuses when
I go to her to make a touch.
—Detroit Free Press. 1
And even then there is a chance,
Although, of course, the crime is rank.
That there may be in time of need
Some coppers in the baby’s bank.
—Boston Globe.
And If the baby’s bank Is not
In funds, and leaves you in distress,
You might climb out at night and hunt
The pocket in your helpmeet's dress.
—Houston Post.
And if the helpmeet’s dre3s Is not
The goal where you collect your toll,
We might suggest that in the dark I
You make'straight tor th» sugar bol
—St. Louis Timer;
And it the bowl reveals no cash
(Now, do not think we libel)
U may seerti strange, hut peek witJ
That dust-hid family Bible. 1
Y'onkers Statesman
And if the Bible, too, is bare
Be no half-hearted sloven;
f’ush on your search, eschew the lure'
Iry the unused gas oven.
-Nashville Bannei
And if you fall to find It there
Despite your pains and labor' 1
Don’t yield yourself to tell despair
Eut go and touch your neighbor, i
THEY SELDOM BRAG ABOUT IT
"Miss Dobble is very modest about b
painting.” 1
"Ahem! I believe most women a,
like her in that respect."
WHAT DO THEY MARRY?
When girlies for I
A husband plan,
They always draw
A superman.
LIMITED REMORSE I
Sometimes a man in a contrite fran
of mind can derive a great deal of qut
satisfaction from acknowledging to hlr
self that he deserves to be kicked, ;
long as he does not suspect that a m.
jority of his friends may be of the san
opinion.
SHE WORRIES? YES?
Philosophers
May smile and smile ,
And have their fling
At woman's style;
She keeps so cool
We must Infer !
It doesn’t meap
A thing to her.
MORE MELLOW THEN
"1 believe I’ll go around this inornin
and see if I can borrow HO from Bil
bles.”
"You’d better wait until Ibis aftej
noon.”
“Why?"
"Bibbles never drinks an.< thing durlnl
office hours, but toward the close of tJ
day his acquired geniality la very pro,
nounced."
THE DOWN GRADE
When to do things well
You cease to try,
Tis time to tell
Yourself good-l y.
PAUL COOK.
THE MAN WITH THE SCARRED LIfJ
Walt Mason In the Kansas City Star,
NEAR the town of -Montlucl, which
is 12 miles from Lyons. France, on
the Geneva road, there is a tract
of land which is accursed. No children
play there on the golden summer after
noons; no lovers walk beneath the
spreading trees In the moonlight, and
when the peasants pass that way they
cress themselves and mutter prayers.
It was In 1855 that a hunter, thread
ing the thickets there, found the body i
of a handsome young woman who had
been brutally dene to death. There were
six terrible wounds on her head anil
face. She had been stripped of Iter ]
clothing, but her sheos and a black lace j
cap were fount hard by. The girl was
soon Identified as Marie Bada.v, who had
for several years been a servant In
Lyons. Before leaving that city she told
friends that she had been offered a re
markably fine situation at a chateau In
tho country, and was going to take It.
The police in those days were baffled
as easily as they are in our own, so
Marie Baday slept In her grave a long
time bcfore‘”the mystery of her death
was cleared up.
On May 20, 1881, at 11 o'clock at night,
a woman knocked at the door of a farm
house near Montlucl and when the door
was opened she fell into the house ex
hausted; her clothes were In rlbbotjs.
Her shoes were torn and her feet bleed
ing, and her eyes were full of unspeak
able terror; When phe was able to talk
she told her story. She had been a ser
vant at Lyons, and while she was cross
ing a bridge there, she was accosted by
a man who had the appearance of a re
spectable farmer, a man with a scarred
Up. he explained that he was the gar
dener at a chateau near Montluel, and
he had been instructed by his mistress
to proceed to Lyons and secure a maid,
regardless of expense. His mistress was
a wohderfully generous woman; she not
only paid large wages, but was forever
making Christmas presents to the ser
Var.ts. The proposition looked excellent
to Marie Fiction, and the nice kind old
gentleman who made it had such a sub
stantial appearance that there was no
questioning hie sincerity. So Bhe packed
her bag and accompanied him to Mont
luel. Leaving the tratn there, they
started to walk across country to the
chateau, which seemed a long way oft.
It was dark, and she was becoming sus
picious that there was something wrong,
and she was about to turn and flee when
the man, who had been walking ahead
of her*, wheeled around and tried to
throw a noosed rope over her head. Bhe
avoided it anil ran, and the would-be
"murderer pursimd her. He was gaining
upon her; he was almost at her heels,
when she saw the farmhouse and reached
the door. The pursuer snarled like a
wolf and ran back into the woods.
The authorities were notified at once,
and the police recognized the nice kind
gentleman at once wheTl Marie Plehon
described him. His scarred lip was a
blemish familiar to everybody In the
neighborhood. His name was Dumollard,
and he lived in a neighboring hamlet
bearing the same name, lie was known
as a queer, morose, unsocial Individual
who would have nothing to do with his
neighbors. The police went to his house
and arrested him and his wife, and
searched the place, where they found
1200 articles of woman's attire ahd adorn
ment, including cheap jewelry such as
French servants are given to. When she
was arrested Madam Dumollard was
wearing a bloodstained cap that certainly
never belonged to her.
Dumollard took things calmly, but his
wife, after undergoing the Latin version
of the third degree, confessed that her
husband frequently, had occasion to use
a spade and pickax at night, and she be
lieved he dug graves wttH them. So the
policemen went to the mnely tract of
land which has been accursed ever since,
*ud began exploring. They dug up two
skeletons of young women and thei
found the grave of another girl who ha<
been stunned and buried alive. Some
thing In the nature of tlie t.oil had pre
vented decomposition, although she <ha<
been there several months, and the doc
tors were able to determine the natur
of her death. j
lien these fac ts were known the au
thorities began to hear from servan
girls who had narrowly escaped th<
clutches of chis human hyena. It wai
soon established that Dumollard hat
niade a regular business of going tc
Lyons and telling his plausible story t<
servant girls. His favorite place of op
eration was the bridge, and from thJ.
structure he had thrown three girls intj
the river beneath, after tearing theli
clothes from them. Three other glrli
had accompanied him to Montluel, at dif
ferent times, lured by his description* i
of that noble chateau and its generou*
mistress, but they had balked at accom
panying him on a long walk in the dark"
ness, and thereby saved their lives. g
The purpose of this murderer Is af
much a mystery ns ever, for he made no I
effort to profit by his crimes, but stored
all the clothing and trinkets he stole in '
Ills house. Servant girls were bis only '
preyr, although when his fame as a mon. f
ster was established every mystcriotH
crime that had occurred In years was
charged up to him. When everything
was summed up It was believed that hit
victims numbered 18. Dumollard refused
to give any information. To his last mo-,
ment he stuck to a foolish story which
was his defense in court, to the effect
that he had been employed by two
strangers to engage girls for them. That)
he turned the girls over to them, and
didn’t know' what happened to them. E
He was sentenced to death, and hl*1l
wife to 20 years’ imprisonment at hard*
labor. After his sentence, and whil* ■
waiting his doom, desperate efforts wer*
made to secure a confession. Priests la
bored with him night and day, but all
In vain. He told the same old story
over and over. His chief concern during
hl3 last days was a fear that he would
catch cold. He was always complaining#
of draughts and begging the turnkeys tc
plug up chinks in the windows and door
Even on his way to execution, in a pri
son van, he was greatly worried lest til*
cold wind would strike in to his lung*.
The whole countryside. was there to se*
him suffer. Every tree, every housetop,
swarmed with tinman beings. He went
to his doom Jauntily', remarking that he
always did halo an east wind. The blade
descended and put an end to all his un
easiness concerning la grippe. His body
was buried and his head was sent to a
scientific Institution.
Thus perished a human wolf whose
achievements made t+ie record of our
own Mrs. Gunness seem trifling. I
AN ERA l|V UPLIFT *
Fiom the New York Telegram.
Uplift? It's In the air. Think of Join
B. Stanchfleld praising Justice Ceabury’s
charge to the Jury, and Mann, standpatter
from Illinois, congratulating Underwood,
tariff revisionist, of Alabama, on hlg j
birthday.
THE MISSING FLOWER
By Samuel Minturn Peck.
(In Memory of -)
There was a little woman flower
Sweeter far than all '
The violets and the daffodils
That come at Springtime's call.
All the blossoms loved her;
Even the happy birds,
They piped their little hearts to her—
Because they had no words.
'Tls spring again. The skies ar. blue;
Blosoms and birds I see;
But the little flower maiden—
Oh tell me where is shel
The sorrowing Wind low-answered;
"Flower, and bird, and fern.
And In the year, the autumn leaf—
They only may return.”
1 1
“ 'Tis true, tls true. O Wind,” I slghsd, . 1
“ Tls hitter, too, alack;
In life what we love most and lose
Can nevermore come hack.”
TuecalooMc May U* lUt ^