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The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, May 21, 1913, Image 4

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THE AGE-HERALD
K. \\. BARBKTT.Killlor
Kntered at the Birmingham, Ala.,
postoffice as second class matter under
act of Congress March 3, 1879.
Daily and Sunday Age-Herald- 88-.°®
Dally and Sunday, per month. .. '
Dally and Sunday, three months.. -««
Weekly Age-Herald, per annum..
ISunday Age-Herald..
Subscriptions payable in advance.
W. H. Overbey and A. J. Eaton, Jr.,
are tho only authorized traveling repre
sentatives ut The Age-lierald in its cir
culation department.
No communication will be published
without its author's name. Rejecte
manuscript will not bo returned unless
Stamps are enclosed for that puipos*..
Remittances can be made at curreiU
rate of exchange. The Age-Herald will
not be responsible f< r money sent
through the mails. Address,
the age-herald.
Birmingham, Ala.
Washington bureau. 207 Hihbs build
Ing.
European bureau, 5 Henrietta street.
Covent Garden. London.
Eastern business office. Rooms 48 to
60. inclusive. Tribune building, New
York city; western business office.
Tribune building. Chicago. The S. C.
Beckwith Special Agency, agents for
eign advertising.
' telephone
Bell (private exchange connecting nil
^departments)# No, 4900.
As jewels lone tnelr glory If ncglccteii,
Bo princes tlielr renowns If not re
spected.
—Pericles.
Mr. Henderson’s Veto Pledge
Chairman Henderson of the railroad
commission, a successful business man
of Troy, is a candidate for governor,
and the first plank of his platform
pledges him to veto any bill that ap
portions money beyond the revenue of
the state. The treasury was emptied
in Governor Comer’s term and it has
practically been in that condition ever
since. A surplus of a million and a
quarter of dollars was changed into a
deficit of about three-quarters of a
million. Much inconvenience and some
hardships have resulted, and the con
dition of the treasury is no credit to
the state.
Mr. Henderson pledges himself, if
elected governor, to prevent a repeti
tion of this trouble. The deficit will
be overcome in time and when it is no
one wants to see it repeated, and no
doubt Mr. Henderson will gain votes
because of his pledge that he will veto
any bill that outruns the revenue of
the state.
The other candidates for governor
have not been heard from on this sub
ject. Each and every one of them
should state where he stands on a sub
ject that pertains to the good name of
the state and to a smooth working of
Etate policies.
Colorado's Patriotic Governor
The Colorado legislature passed a
graduated tax bill that applied to all
incomes exceeding $5000 a year. If
it had become law incomes would have
been pretty severely taxed, for it
would practically have doubled in Col
orado the burden of the income tax
now pending in the federal Senate.
The legislature had adjourned and the
question of its enactment into law
rested with Governor Ammons, a
democrat.
He promptly vetoed it on the ground
that one income tax at a time is
enough in any state, and he preferred
to give the federal bill the right of
way. This was patriotism of a very
different order from that manifested
by Gov. Hiram Johnson of California,
Who does not seem to care how much
trouble he makes the federal govern
ment or the 47 other states. Gov
ernors of the Colorado sort do not ap
pear every day in every state.
The reserved rights of the state are
one thing and a federal income tax is
another. The states have just granted
to the federal government the right
to levy an income tax. The grant
came in the nick o’ time, for it en
abled Oscar Underwood and his asso
ciates to plan the best tariff bill that
this country has known since the war,
to say the least.
Interest on Government Deposits
On and after June 1 Secretary Mc
'Adoo v.’ill require all national banks
acting as government depositaries to
pay 2 per cent interest on all deposits.
As they stand ready to pay that much
to secure money from other sources
there seems to be no reason why they
should not deal impartially with the
government. No bank is compelled to
borrow from the government, and no
bank will borrow government money
unless it can see some advantage in
the operation.
All are willing to see local banks
aeek government deposits, for the
volume of circulation in trade and
business is increased thereby. The
keeping of vast amounts in treasry
vaults is archaic and altogether un
called for. Alabama is on the archaic
line in this respect, owing to the terms
of the constitution of 1901. It may not
be necessary to charge interest on
state funds, but they should be
brought into the channels of trade.
At present this is not a pressing issue,
for the state has precious little money
to disburse.
The federal government has a large
surplus, and the Secretary of the
Treasury wisely decides that it shall
go into general circulation under
'proper safeguards.
The national depositaries will no
!
longer have to hold reserves against
any deposits of the federal govern
ment. This new regulation will also
add to the amount of money in circu
lation.
The new plan will be pretty sure to
do away w'ith the charge of favor
j itism. When banks have to pay inter
est on government deposits they wdll
accept no more than they can profit
ably use, and a big surplus will in that
way be used to the best advantage
for the general good.
Will Have Splendid Effect
The American Steel and Wire com
pany's great wTire plant at Fairfield
will soon present a busy scene. It
i was ail but completed two years ago
w'hen work was stopped. Was it poli
tics or a fear of overproduction or
both that caused the Steel corpora
tion officials in New York to put the
wire mill in the indefinite waiting
list? It makes no difference now; no
one is concerned about reasons that
seemed good and sufficient to the cor
poration when the halt was called.
But everyone in the Birmingham
district takes a lively interest in the
present and the future and no one
thing that could happen here at this
time would have the exhilirating ef
fect on business circles that the in
stallation of machinery at the wire
mill will have. The effect will be
splendid indeed. It may be several
months before wire can be produced,
but the mere fact of getting ready
will add greatly to values in this city
and all the sectioh around Fairfield.
Call this elation sentiment, if you
will. But it is sentiment that has a
practical basis. It will be a case of
applied psychology, using that term
in its modern broad sense. The an
nouncement that the wire mill is about
to be completed will have the same
effect on the public imagination as if
the new pay rolls were already put
ting money in circulation.
The industrial situation in the Bir
mingham district is more satisfactory
today than it is in some other manu
facturing centers. Conditions are ex
cellent here. Wage workers will have
plenty of employment throughout the
summer and with the wire mill in
commission added to the district’s in
dustries this should be without ques
tion our record-breaking year from an
industrial point of view.
Flying from Key West to Havana
The prize of $10,000 offered by the
city council of Havana to any Cuban
who first succeeded in flying over the
90 miles of water between Key West
and Havana has been awarded to
Senor Domingo Rosello. His task
stands without precedent. A Cana
dian attempted the feat in January,
1911, but he fell into the sea about
10 miles from the Morro, from which
he was rescued before the sharks had
discovered him. All Cubans dread
sharks, although it is said no shark
will attack a swimmer. Be that as
it may the strait had never been
crossed by an airman or a swimmer
until Rosello flew across it in an aero
plane.
This modern bridge may in the
course of time prove useful. It may
yet be duplicated daily. It is really
die only kind of bridge that can exist
bet veen Key West and Havana. The
channel is deep and of increasing use
fulness. The gulf stream courses
through it, and & bridge for aviators
is all the situation affords.
Mme. Ernestine Schumann-Heink ig
nored the artistic dining room and sump
tuous menu of the hotel at which she
registered when in Ann Arbor, Mich.,
and went to Painter's restaurant to get
a “regular meal," for which she paid 25
cents. Two women friends were with
her. Painter's is a place where motor
men, policemen, bill collectors and oth
ers of similar station in life eat corned
beef and cabbage and similar things, it
was Just what Mme. Schumann-Heink
was looking for. Painter himself ush
ered her to a table as she looked the
place over with the eye of a woman
ahout to eat a “regular meal.” A brass
buttoned conductor sat near, and what
he was devouring looked good to the
songstress. She told the waiter to bring
her exactly the same thing. So did her
friends. The order was lamb, potatoes,
canned corn and the table “liftings.’’
The opera star ate it with all the relish
that the conductor did his.
Declarations that she is In “straitened”
circumstances, “because h he gels only
$2000 a month allowance,' lh contained
in a petition filed in probate court by
Mrs. Rose Keeling Hutchins v. idow of
Stilson Hutchins of Washington. Hhe
demands one-third of the income from
the personal estate of her husband. The
personal estate is valued at $1,155,685 and
the real estate at $3,347,000, which has
been in litigation for more than a year.
The net income of the estate is given
at $120,000 a year. Two wills have been
■produced by Mrs. Hutchins, one allow
ing her 35 per cent and the other 40 per
cent of the property. Lee Hutchins, a
son of the millionaire by a former mar
riage, is making an effort to prove the
wills invalid. t
What was regarded as tantamount to
an announcement of his candidacy for
re-election to the United States Senate
was made last week by Boise Penrose,
in his declaration that he was prepared
to meet any aspirant for that office In
a popular primary for the republican
nomination. v
A bill to regulate the operation of fly
ing machines has been signed by Gov
ernor Foss of Massachusetts. It will
go Into effect on June 15. The measure
makes It unlawful fos any person to
operate an air craft unless licensed to
Jo so by the Massachusetts highway
commission. No license shall be grant
ed unless the applicant lias passed an
examination by the highway commis
sion, to include a flight of not less than
100 miles In a standard type of machine.
No machine, under the bill, may fly over
a city at an altitude of less than 3000
feet or over a town at an altitude or
less than 500 feet.
A British syndicate has bought for
Jl.355,000 the C ranch near Midland, Tex.,
from the estate of the late Nelson Mor
ris, the meat packer. The ranch, which
embraces 221,000 acres, will be divided
into farms and colonized with Canadians.
It is a race between Generals Carranza
and Huerta as to which wdll get and
hung the other flrst. Mexico, with Its
12.000,000 peons and lack of Just land
laws, Is the most backward country in
the world.
The girls in one senior class in a high
school in Ohio were graduated In dresses
that cost them only J1.90 apiece. And
It is not recorded that they knew less
In those dresses.
A prize of $10,000 Is offered for the best
American opera. Musical comedy pays
still larger royalties and the writers of
such works decline to contest for me
prize.
Mrs. Ella Flagg Young says the chil
dien of the rich and of the poor should
be educated side by side in the public
schools. She is wholly right.
Huerta cannot snub America by try
ing to borrow money from mine owners
In other countries.
The Outlook under the influence of the
Colonel says the talk of world peace is
Utopian.
fn Chicago, music lessons and even
German lessons are given over the tele
phone.
If the home team can regain its Mobile
clip another pennant may be forced
on it.
A movement has been started to pre
sent the June bride with a cook book.
Chicago is to have 15,000 new arc lights.
Birmingham would be glad to get 50J.
The Californians are convinced that
Japan stole the battleship plans.
Turkey is almost as quiet as the re
actionaries in this country.
Some railroads cut dividends and some
cut a melon.
Lower car steps is also an issue in
many cities.
LIKE Me LUKE SAYS
From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
Truth lies at the bottom of a whisky
glass.
If you keep your mouth closed every
body will agree with you and respect your
opinion.
If a woman can keep her temper and
her good looks she has no trouble keep
ing her husband.
The last hint says the bustle is coming
back Into fashion. What are they going
to do? Sew an annex into the rear of the
hobble?
There is an awful scarcity of roses b?
tween the day a woman marries and the
day they lay her out.
The “glory kiss” is nothing new. It was
the first one you got from your sweet
heart. And you tingled from toe to scalp
and the music of the spheres rang in
your ears while you inhaled the perfum
of the wonderful girl *nefore you. And
you had a vague idea of how you went
home, but you knew that your feet did
not touch the ground.
The female garment designers met at
Toledo and decided on tighter skirts. It
won’t be long until a modest man will
have to stay home and keep the blinds
pulled down.
To a man all men are alike and ell
women different. To a woman all wome/i
are alike and all men different.
Keep your troubles to yourself. If you
tell them to another man he will wait
until you get through and then he will
make you look like a piker by telling you
his.
Lots of men who wouldn’t sell them
selves to the devil do not object to rent
ing themselves out by the day.
When a girl buys a pair of new shoes
she always imagines the clerk is measur
ing her foot with a yardstick.
The old fashioned girl who married a
1700r young man and lived on love in. a
cottage now has a daughter who marries
into a furnished room where she can cook
her curling irons on a gas Jet and do her
laundry on the window pane.
Tell a man that there are 270,1'$,325 181
stars and he will believe you. But if a
sign says fresh paint he has to make a
personal InvestlgaMon.
The Men's Missouri club Is in a had fix.
There are no street car steps to make the
girls hoist and the weather is too chilly
for the see-more skirts.
A New York woman says us men dic
tate women’s fashions and then scold the
women. Dictate nothing. As far as us
men are concerned we don’t care it' the
women don’t wear anything at all. We
should worry.
TAKING A CHANCE
From the Washington Star.
Senator Lee S. Overman of North
Carolina, when a young man, was
private secretary to Governor Vance of
that state. The governor was a candi
date for election to the United States
| Senate, and his most formidable op
ponent was Senator Merriraan, at that
! time the incumbent.
In the heat of the campaign young
Overman fell in love with Merriman's
daughter, and prosecuted his suit with
all the ardor of a southern wooer. At
length things reached a stage where he
felt that he could no longer continue
to hold his position as secertary to the
opponent of the father of his lady-love.
So, in a heart-to-heart talk with Gov
ernor Vance lie confided the true state
of affairs, setting forth that while his
position as secretary was highly ad
vantageous to him from a sordid,
worldly point of view, it was well sac
rificed on the altar of love, etc.
“Don’t, be a fool, son,” interrupted the
governor. ‘ If Merriman can stand you
for a son-in-law, I reckon I can stajid
i you for a secretary.”
Overman held down both jobs.
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
The I*renl»ylerlnn Assemblies
"There will be no merging of tho North
ern and Southern Presbyterian General
assemblies this year, and it may he sev
eral years yet before organic union is
brought about," said an old layman. "But
the two branches of Presbyterianism are
enjoying the very closest fraternal rela
tions. This has been so for several years.
VT can remember when there was any
thing but a friendly feeling between the
two bodies. Long after'tho war section
alism was manifest among the Presby
terians as much as it wfas among the
politicians, but now we are so far from
the 60’s that friction has entirely dJsap
peared.
"I think it would be well for the north
ern and southern assemblies to unite but
whether this is done within the next few
years makes little difference so long as
the present feeling of harmony prevails.
That organic union will tRKe place in
time there can be no reasonable ground
for doubt." •
Old Time Feaebea
"J am told that some of the peach grow
ers of Georgia are plowing up 'their orch
ards in order to try crops that yield bet
ter returns than the peach,” said W. M.
landsey. "There are so many peach crop
failures In these recent years that the
average production, even in the most fa
vored Georgia peach belt, is hardly suf
ficient to be profitable. When a very
large crop is in evidence the market be
comes glutted and the price is consequent
ly low—too low to bring a profit. When
the crop is short from frost the quality
of the fruit is usually poor and nobody
wants peaches of inferior flavor.
"It is a noteworthy fact that the old
time peach orchard could he relied upon
year in and year out. Orchards were
not so prolific, perhaps, but the trees
were hardier and a crop failure was
practically unknown. And those were
most luscious peaches, too. The modern
method of farming is along the intensive
line and this intensive idea has obtained
among peach growers. The peach tree
is over-cultivated and that is probably
the reason that we have so many short
crop years.”
• me Knilrond Figures
"The nual record of transportation
lines of ie Pennsylvania Railroad sys
tem has just been issued," said a local
railroad man. "It shows that the com
pany now has 11,644 miles of line and
25,695 miles of track. There are some
100,000 shareholders interested in these
lines, or nearly four for every mile of
trackage.
“A compilation shows that the system
raid out last, year $188,749,312 in wages,
or $7346 for every mile of track, and that
there are more than eight employes for
every mile.
"The record reflects the intensive de
velopment of the system as demanded by
the public, in the direction of improved
terminal facilities; second, third and
fourth track, yards and sidings, in order
to handle increasing traffic economically
anti promptly.
"While the present mileage of the sys
tem is only I98S greater than in 1902. there
has been an increase of 1335 miles in sec
ond track, 277 in third track, and 224 in
fourth track.
"Since 1902 the mileage of company sid
ings, as they are called, has been in
creased from 5916 to 8965 or 3049 miles—
every mile of which enables the company
to expedite the movement of trains in
congested periods."
A Popular .Name
"The name Fairfield, recently substi
tuted for Corey, has become very popu
lar,” said a prominent business man.
"I thought it might be some time be
fore the public got used to the new name
but I find that the citizens of that model
city and others who are interested in
its upbuilding have Fairfield pat. \\ hen
the town was about to be laid out Corey
was selected as the name in compliment
to the then president of the Steel cor
poration. William Kills Corey. But it is
generally felt that an unindividual name
for an industrial city gives more sat
isfaction in the long run than one named
after an individual, especially if that in
dividual be living. It would have been
difficult to have selected a finer name
than Fairfield.
"As soon as the wire mill is in oper
ation Fairfield's population will increase
rapidly and it is safe to say that within
the next three years it will have a pop
ulation of 15.000 to 20.000, for the wire
mill is only one of several new indus
tries that will be established in the Fair
field neighborhood.”
The Tacoma Book
"One of the most interesting and ele
gant illustrated publications setting forth
information about an attractive and grow
ing city is that recently issued by the Ta
coma Commercial club and Chamber of j
Commerce," said a traveled man, who has
taste for*the beautiful In bookmaking.
"Tacoma is only a few years older than
Birmingham. Tt was platted with the
name Commencement City, but soon aft
erwards it was styled Tacoma, after the
Indian name of the mountain. In 1870
Tacoma's population was only 200. In 1900
it had grown to 37,714 and in 1910 to 83,743.
Tt has the advantage of varied agricul
tural resources and ocean navigation. It
is the ‘City With a Snow-Capped Moun
tain in Its Dooryard.’ That being so, it
is a popular tourist city in the summer
time.
"The pictorial book shows that Tacoma
is not only substantially built, but that
it has many features of the ideal model
city. It is only 160 miles from Port
land, 28 miles from Seattle anfr 177 miles
from Vancouver, and it has a steamer
line running on regular schedules from
Puget Sound to Alaska.
"T. M. Martin is secretary and gen
eral manager of tlie Tacoma Commercial
club and Chamber of Commerce, and he
will be ready at all times to furnish in
formation to those desiring it.”
The Monthly N light Meeting
“The meeting of the city democratic ex
ecutive committee held Monday night, af
forded much amusement to the disinter
ested spectators,” said a former politi
cian. “It was a real touch of ward poli
tics and disclosed the tactics of the ward
heeler. That a 'frame up’ had been made
between four or five members of the com
mittee was openly. charged, and the ac
tions of some of the committee went a
long way to substantiate the charge. But
as tlie immortal Burns so aptly says,
'The best laid schemes o’ mice and men
gang aft aglee,' and it developed that
the framers of the slate had overlooked
their hand, and instead of a full hand
they had nothing but a 'bob-tailed flush.’
“I am not opposed to the primary plan
hut I am unalterably opposed to slates
and frame ups.’ Let the committee do
everything aboveboard or do nothing at
all, for, in my opinion, any action tinged
with ‘bowery* politics will not be recog
nized or tolerated by the citizens of this
great and cosmopolitan city.”
BENJAMIN FRANK’MN AS A PURIST.
Prof. Thomas R. Lounsbury, in Harper s
Magazine for June.
The tendency for wprds to pass from
speech into another, so
general In our speech, was once hard
for many to accept ns justifiable, and
doubtless still remains hard for some.
Few things have been more provocative
of criticism both at home and abroad In
the consideration of real or supposed
Americanisms. How little the principle
was understood by even the most intelli
gent and acute men of past generations
has a remarkable exemplification In the
cuse of Franklin. Ills dver-actlve mind
was little likely to overlook the subject
of language. It Is not perhaps to his
discredit that ho Rhared in the notions
about It which prevailed among the men
of hls generation. Here, at any rate,
failed him the robust common sense
wlhch enabled him to detect the fre
quent fallacies lurktn* In statements
commonly made, not to say magister
ially proclaimed. The practice of con
verting nouns Into verbs, at least cer
tain nouns, much disturbed him. He died
in April, 1700. Four months previous to
that event he wrote a letter to Noah
Webster on this very point. Throughout
it he showed himself the most thorough
going of conservatives in various ways.
He avowed hls hostility to the practice,
which was coming into general use, of
no longer capitalizing the initial letter
of nouns. He objected also to the form s
which had begun to displace entirely the
other form of the letter which caused It
to be mistaken so constantly for an f.
But It was to certain words and con
structions that be paid his respects with
spcadal vigor and venom. These, accord
ing to him, had come to be employed In
America during his official residence
abroad. This, It may be said in passing.
had extended from 1776 to lio5. ‘During
my late residence In France,” he wrote,
"I find that several . . • new words have
been Introduced Into our parliamentary
language; for example, I find a verb
from the substantive notice, . . . another
verb from fbe substantive advocate, an
other verb from the substantive progress,
the most awkward and abominable word
of the three. . . . The ward opposed,
though not a new word, I find used in
a new manner, as ‘the gentlemen who
are opposed to the ^treasure;’ ‘to which 1
have also myself always been opposed.
If you should happen to be of my opin
ion with respect to these innovations,
you will use your authority in reprobat
ing them.”
It is manifest that Webster did not
happen to he of Franklin's opinion.
SMALLEST THING IN UNIVERSE.
Dr. Henry Smith Williams, in Harper's
Magazine for June.
We know that the big telescopes, aided
by the photograhpio plate, reveal stars to
the number of at least one hundred mil
lins- lying utterly beyond the confines
of unaided vision. Now it appears that
a pinch of salt which one could hold on
the point of a penknife is made up of
atoms numbering not hundreds of mil
lions merely, hut billions of billions. The
population of atoms in the smallest par
ticle of matter visible under the micro
scope is greater by far than the total hu
man population of the globe since the
race developed. And a little instrument
composed of two fragments of gold-leaf
makes it possible to perform the miracle
of counting these denizens of the realm
of infinite littleness.
Within the smallest atom there is a
something almost two thousand times
smaller than the atom Itself—a some
thing that is detachable from the atom,
and susceptable of being measured as to
its mass and tested as to its electric
charge with the aid of apparatus actually
in use in the laboratory. This ultimate
particle of matter Is called the electric,
corpuscle or electron. We owe our
knowledge of it chiefly to Sir Joseph
Thomson. It is the smallest thing in
the”world; and it is probably the basal
substance out of which all matter of
whatever character is built.
As regards bulk, the electron is, ac
cording to the French physicist Jean
Becquerel. billions of billions of times
smaller than the atom. To make the
comparison vivd, Becquerel likens the
electrons in an atom to a swarm of
gnats gravitating about In the dome of a
cathedral as we penetrate thus far
and farther into the realm of the in
finitely little, seeipg in imagination the
smallest visible particle of matter re
solved into myriads of molecules, each
molecule Into sundry atoms, and each
atom into its teeming swaiqjrs of elec
trons, the question naturally arises,
What lies beyond?
PUBI.IC UOVEMAKING IN SP.llSl.
W. D. Howells, in Harper's Magazine for
June.
The best of the Alcazar Is the Alcazar
gardens. But I would not ignore the
homelike charm of the vast court by
which you enter from the street outside
to the palace beyond. It is planted casu
ally about with rather shahhy orange
trees that children were playing under,
and was decorated with the week's wash
of the low, pimple dwellings which may
be hired at a rental moderate even for
Seville, where a handsome and commo
dious house in good quarter rents for
$60 a year. One of those two-story cot
tages, as we should call them, in the
ante-court of the Alcazar had for the
student of Spanish life the special ad
vantage of a lover close to a ground
floor window dropping tender nothings
down through the slats of the shutter
to some maiden lurking within. The
nothings were so tender that you could
not hear them drop, and besides, they
were Spanish nothings, and it would
not have served any purpose for the
stranger to listen for them. Once after
ward we saw the national courtship go
ing on at another casement, but that
was at night, and here the precious first
sight of it was offered at 10 o'clock in
the morning. Nobody seemed to mind
the lover stationed outside the shutter
with which the iron bars forbade him
the closest contact; and it is only fair
to say that he minded nobody; he was
there when we went in and there when
we came out, and it nppears that when
it is a question of lovemaking time Is
no more an object in Spain than In the
1'nited Staffs. The scene would have
been better by moonlight, but you can
not always have it moonlight, and the
sun did very well; at least, the lover
dld not seem to miss the moon.
A MATTER OK RECORD
From the Boston Post.
The lesson In history wns In progress
and in vain the teacher coaxed her class
to answer. At last she brightened up.
She had reached the star pupil ot her
little class.
“Now. Tommy," she said. "Mary fol
lowed Edward V. and who followed
Mary?"
Yes, Tommy knew that, and his an
swer was swift. "Her little lamb, teach
er,” he shouted triumphantly.
IIKVOYD Til Kilt POWER
From the Louisville Courier-Journal.
“Were it not for women there would
lie no men," shouts a militant suffra
gette. Yes, and vice versa, sister, vice
versa. Even votes, britches, plug hats
and cigars for women wouldn't make
It otherwise
I
[ ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
TO A MINIATURE.
The love lass, the iovc laes
She filled our hearts with bliss;
Oil, fairer than a rose was she
And Rweeter far to kiss.
Her hair In raven ringlets fell
In Joyous disarray
And with her happy hearted smile
She drove life’s cares away.
The love lass, the love lass.
Her charm could no'er be told;
Her eyes refulgent like the stars
When nights are crisp and cold,
Her fairy form, her airy grace
Wero worth a poet's song
And none there was with gentler ways
All earthly maids among.
PRETTY PLAIN SPEAKING.
"That couple across the hall had an
other row this mowing at breakfast."
"I presume you heard every word they
said.”
"Almost. When he growled for her to
settle his coffee she to’d him to shut up
she'd settle his hash.”
A SOLECISM.
There's no avoiding him.
No matter where one goes,
The man who uses ''them,"
When he should be using “those.”
A RARE COMBINATION.
“My barber has a scheme for settling
this threatened Imbroglio with Japan."
“How does he shave you?”
“Indifferently well.”
“I thought so. It is hard to be a for
sighted statesman and a first-class tV.
sorlal artist at the tame time.”
BEHIND?
At me you will swear—
I don’t care for that;
But where do ycu wear
The bow on your hat?
WHAT a PITY!
“How long do you think it will be before
the militant suffragettes commit mur
der?”
“I don’t know, but they are killing a
lot of valuable time ns it is.”
TWO KINDS.
A suffragette leaves bombs around,
Then satisfaction lores;
They won’t explode, because, you see,
She's careless ’bout the fuses.
—Birmingham Age-Herald.
And how about the suffragette
Who spends the shining hours
In jollying all the men she meets
For chocolate drops and flowers?
—Cha rmlon
ALWAYS A CHANCE.
••Tillie Trlpplt says she is going to star
next year."
"Boshl"
"I don't know. You can't tell ab mt
these chorus girls. She may star in a di
vorce case."
ULTERIOR MOTIVE.
"Tommy, haven't l told you time as.d
again not to play with that bad ntt'o
Wasserby boy?"
"Yes, ma. I was ouly playing with him
long enough to win hie 'aggie.' "
GONE, BUT NOT FORGOTTEN.
And then, you know, there's the other
show
Where the farmer paid to his horse,
“Get up!”
And the stage was thick with the payer
snow
'Till the goat came In and ate it up.
- Yonkers Statesman.
And what lias become of that other one
In which the cotm.dian cuts his capers
Until it Is time to stop his fun
And pifll a revolve" and save "the pa
pers" ?
—Youngstown Telegram.
And what has become of the Yiid-time
show,
Where the lady lenpeth from floe to
floe;
And we wonder if she's goin’ to he
Et up hy them bloc dhounds—count 'tin
three?
—Denver Republican.
VV'hat has become of the good old snow
which the acting was simply rank;
But we never missed it and loved it so
Because It had witer In tank?
—Cincinnati EnquireY.
What has become of the old-time show
With its glint and glitter and fuss and
noise.
To which the dads of the town would go
But would tell us kids “It's no place for
boys”? —Houston Pos:.
What has become of that good old play
In which the villain exclaims: “Hist,
hist!”
And tries to smuggle the che-lld away, #
And the hero come® in and slaps his
wrist? -Springfield Union.
And what has become of the olden thr!P
Where the hero was tied upon the track,
And the fast express came down the hill
With four men pushing at the back?
—St. Louis Post-Dispat h.
And what has become of the old-time
show
That thrilled us with its sawmill scene
Where the hero's death seemed sure but
slow,
Till his bonds were cut by the heroine?
’WARE OF REEFS.
A bachelor girl says she was torn f ‘om
her moorings by a flood of affection. Ron
voyage! PAUL COOK.
V FUNERAL OF “CHUCK” CONNERS
So passed Chuck Connors, last of the
Bowery Boys, and so he lay In
sordid state for four days and ;
three nights.
Only a few women faithful unto and
after death, and a few, oh, so pitifully
few, men friends came to his coffin to
say, "God rest his soul.
And this was a beloved vagabond if
ever there was one. Keen of wit, ready
of repartee, the source of all the Bowery
slang stories for 30 years. Already an
Italian, Frank Salvatore, calls himself
"Little Chuck,” and stands ready to
step Into the shoes of the dead man. He
isn't a had little fellow, tills Salvatore,
and he sent a wreath of flowers and he
went to the funeral. Let him dress as
Chuck did and imitate his talk and
walk; Chuck is dead and will not care.
Since Saturday, when the Italian un
dertaker came and tacked crepe and
flowers at the doorway. No. « Doyer
street has relished the attention that
death has turned upon it.
The door of Chuck’s rooms, flrEt floor
iij< to the left, has stood open. There
has been a padlock on the door, as a
general thing, for In the hook of Hob
son, the agent of the tenement, the
letter "D” has been marked against
Chuck's name. It meant "Dispossess.”
But Death got to Chuck before the dis
possess did.
Chuck had moved !q when Fox built
the flats. He never paid any rent, and
so the story was spread that Richard
K. Fox had given him the apartments
rent free. This was not strictly true, but
Fox had never really endeavored to
dispossess him. Still Chuck thought it
best to keep a padlock on the door, and
so they could never get In to get him
out.
Riley, the Janitor, a squat little man—
and sure of his Job, till some tenant
comes along who "can lick him—Riley,
the Janitor, liked Chuck, and some think
Riley kept the padlock In place.
When Chpck died Riley gave himself
up to an orgle of moving pictures to
drown his grief. The parlor of the Riley
flat Is papered In red and they have a
piano there. There Is a vacant flat of
two rooms—$7 a month it rents for—be
tween Chuck’s flat and Riley's. It is
being papered In red, too, and looks real
grand. Into the sitting-bedroom of it—
for the other little walled space Is the
kitchen—Chuck's bedroom furniture had
been thrust, for Chuck is sleeping in his
coffin now, and, the funeral being over,
he can be considered dispossessed after
12 years of never paying his rent.
Chuck used to say he came of a race
that was congenitally opposed to paying
rent. "But, still,” he would add, "In this
country there is no open season to shoot
landlords.”
Chuck had the true story-teller's
weakness of speaking broadly If he
thought It would please you. Hence
Chuck would tell you Rabelaisian bits
of "Squatter Sovereignty” stories.
Stories of his early days when Mott
street was an Irish principality. These
stories were to be enjoyed, but not swal
lowed whole, for Chuck was fooling you
and likewise himself. He believed them
as he told them.
As a matter of fact, Chuck's father
and mother were worthy, respectable
people, and of those of his Immediate
family who survive him, a widowed sis
ter, Mrs. Miller, who lives uptown, Is
a woman of some education gnd refine
ment,
She was pained lhat "George," as she
called him, should have died as he had
lived.
And so Chuck lay and was WHlfed In
the tenement house where his pretty
wife Nell had died, and, except for a
mob of curious of the lower five, and
a few, a very few. of the sporting peo
ple and newspaper men he had ^nown. J
j none was so poor fo do him reverence.
I Two Women had fought in the hall
may the night, before. Ugly, dirty.
drinking, evil smelling poverty was
rank in the face of death, and the
idlers gathered-in the street, for it was
a free show, and his friend Kilcy went
to the moving pictures.
"The Truck" was there in black. Never
mind her right name, poor girl. She
knows the bitter life and she /as In
respectable black and she cried, pour
creature. She had been one of Chuck's
dancing partners.
A coachful of women from Chinatown
came, but of the Chatham club, of Bar
ney Flynn's, of "Nigger Mike" Salter's,
of Jim I.avelle's—of all the old friends
of the old days and old ways and ohl
places—there was not one besides those
mentioned who attended the funeral.
There were no politicians, there were
no Chinamen.
A few old friends, Including members
of the Press club, had stood responsible
for the funeral. That had been brought
about by Abraham Baerman. Sn get
ting the n£ws of death, "Abe" had hus
tled up to Colonel Roosevelt’s office and
got a subscription. Thence over to Her
man Metz, who added his check. Ed
ward I.auterhach next fell In line at
"Abe's initiative. And Anally Sam
Lloyd, who makes puzzles, "chipped In"
for the man who had solved the greatest
puzzle of all
The Italian undertaker came late, for
he had another funeral earlier In the
day, and then the hearse and the five
coaches wound through the mean streets
up to busy Park row. to the Church of
St. Andrew in Duane street.
Not 40 people were at the church.
Poor Chuck! He was spared the pain
of his pooc, meager, little funeral, and
in that death was merciful.
EVELYN PLEADS FOR CHARITY
From the Kansas City Star.
After all, Evelyn Nesblt Thaw deserves
great credit for one thing—she did not
capitalize her adventures and go ,on
the stage, as she could have done,.-and
at a high salary. She might not have
got very fur west with her dancing, hut
there are an awful lot of bald Heads
east of the Alleghenies.
Upon her recent arrival In Paris she
defended herself from the attacks of the
London papers, who resent her advent
on the stage.
"So long as I. lived on the 'Thaws’
money I rtfused to go on the stage out
of pride,” she said. "Now that I am
forced to make my own living I don't
intend that my son shall starve. So
I am going back to the only trade I
know, dancing, merely to make a liv
ing.”
She said that her reason for going to
England was that she would not'be re
garded as a freak -here, where she was
less known, and would be Judged on her
real worth. Incidentally, she told her
Interviewer that she was not to get
$3000 a week, or anything like il, al
though she could use 1t, every bit.
She will appear In a revue, "Hullo
Ragtime,” and expects to tour Europe.
Then she sayH she hopes to come hacg
to America to appear before houses full
to the gallery, not as a freak, but as a
graceful and Interesting dancer.
CROSSING THE RAR
By Tennyson^ ,
Sunset and evening star.
And one clear call for me,
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea.
But such a tide, as moving icemi
asleep,
.Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out tha
boundless deep,
Turns again home.
Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark.
And may there he no sadness of farewell
When I embark.
For though from out our bourne of Tim*
and Place,
The flood may hear me far.
1 hm to see my Pilot face to fac*
Wlren I have crossed the bar.
,/
A

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