The Birmingham age-herald. [volume], June 14, 1913, Page 4, Image 4

About The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950

Image provided by: University of Alabama Libraries, Tuscaloosa, AL

                
THE AGE-HERALD
t£. W. BARRETT.Editor
Entered at the Birmingham. Ala.,
postoffice as second class matter under
act of Congress March 3, 1879.
Daily and Sunday Age-Herald.... $S.OO
Daily and Sunday, per month.... .79
Daily and Sunday, three months.. 2.00
Weekly Age-Herald, per annum.. .00
Sunday Age-Herald. 2*00
Subscriptions payable in advance.
W. H. Overbey ami A. J. Eaton, Jr.,
are the only authorized traveling repre
sentatives of The Age-Herald in its cir
culation department.
No communication will be published
without its author’s name. Rejected
manuscript will not be returned unless
stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
• Remittances can be made at current
rate of exchange. The Age-Herald will
not be responsible for money sent
through the mails. Address,
THE AGE-HERALD.
Birmingham, Ala.
Washington bureau, 207 Hibbs build
ing.
European bureau, 5 Henrietta street.
Covent Garden, London.
Eastern business office, Rooms 48 to
50, inclusive, Tribune building, New
York city; western business office.
Tribune building, Chicago. The 8. C.
Beckwith Special Agency, agents for
eign advertising.
TELEPHONE
Bell (private exchange connecting all
department.), No. 49M.
lllch honesty dwells like a miser, sir,
In a poor house.
—As You l<lke It.
Mobile as an Open Port
The purchase by large interests in
Mobile and Birmingham of a big ware
house in Mobile is regarded by the Mo
bile Item as an important develop
ment. The property acquired is to be
improved until it can handle a million
bales of cotton a year, and also other
commodities inward and outward
bound. By securing a controlling in
terest in the big Magnolia Warehouse
company local and interior merchants
are again masters of the situation. The
monopoly that once existed has ceased
to exist. It is no longer a monopoly.
The Item says this union of inter
ests means “a largely increased export
and import traffic through the port of
Mobile for Birmingham and interior
points supplied through Birmingham.
It also means unlimited financial facil
ities for handling the increased traf
fic.”
Let us h«pe all these anticipations
will be fully met in results. Mobile is
the one port of the state and the en
tire state is interested in having its
facilities oppned to all. When a state
has but one port that port should be
a free port in every sense of the word.
No monopoly should be permitted to
cripple it or in any way impair its
usefulness to all inward and outward
bound shippers. The Item plainly con
siders that Mobile is again such a
port. __
Has a Broad Scope
The Alabama Land congress, which
will meet in Birmingham next Novem
ber, will be of great importance to
the whole state. The initial meeting
held in Mobile last year was success
ful in a marked degree, but the or
ganization is now perfected and the
scope of the congress has been dis
tinctly broadened.
President N. F. Thompson is giving
his undivided attention to the forth
coming meeting. A very large num
ber of distinguished men will be in
attendance, including United States
Secretary of Agriculture David F.
Houston. The presidents of all the
railroads operating in Alabama have
been invited and Mr. Thompson has
received favorable replies from five
of them. There will be an immigra
tion conference between the railroad
officials and leading land owners of
the state with a view of securing co
operation in the work of bringing
more white farmers to settle on the
idle lands of Alabama.
The farm movement committee of
the Birmingham Chamber of Com
merce will call the real estate men
of this city to confer with the immi
gration committee and assist in ar
ranging plans to be placed before the
railroad officials when they come.
As President Thompson says, “the
state is now nearer ready for this
move than ever before.’’ The trouble
with so many conferences and move
ments heretofore has been that the
things proposed have ended in talk.
Well, talk is necessary, but the views
presented must be practical and dis
cussion must be followed by action.
Two Objections to the Rate Decision
The Minnesota rate decision con
tains two points that are not wholly
comforting. One of these is the invi
tation to the federal government to
take charge of all railroads, be they
wholly within a state or without it.
Should the republican party, always
controlled in Wall street, ever regain
power this might be done. The power
of the state over intrastate rates
would then be lost under the decision
just rendered. This, however, is a
possibility, not a probability.
Under the terms of the decision
every rate made by a state commis
sion can be delayed from two to four
years by a railroad company on the
ground that it is confiscatory. This,
two, is not a pleasant feature of the
Minnesota decision. It means delay
and complications in rate cases. In
stead of simplifying and clarifying
matters the decision will lead to end*
less litigation and confusion and ex
pense pending an appeal to the United
States supreme court. For it is safe to
say that a railroad will take any rate
it does not like to the federal courts.
As a rule the decision is sound and
satisfactory, but it is certainly open
to the two objections named, and those
objections are both rather serious, the
one being threatening, and the other
vexatious.
Utilizing Our Rivers and Streams
Today 64 hydro-electric power com
panies are busy in developing hydro
electric power in the rivers of the
south, chiefly in the Carolinas, Geor
gia, Alabama, Kentucky and Tennes
see. These companies have already de>
veloped 1,200,000-horse power, and are
now engaged in developing 000,000 ad
ditional power.
When the south has 2,000,000
hydro-electric power it is simply im
possible to put a limit on the stimula
tion that will be felt among the in
dustries of the south. It should be re
membered that the capital for these
64 companies has already been se
cured.
There are 36 other companies con
trolling about 1,000,000 available
power. These companies are in the
formative stage, and when they are
added to the 64 actually engaged in
industrial work the south will simply
become a home of wealth and popula
tion.
Alabama is perhaps the most for
tunate of the southern states in hydro
electric development. There will be no
great waiting on our cities, for the
banking houses that are financing the
hydro-electric companies will not hesi
tate to bring on new industries to use
the power actually developed. The
companies at work in Alabama are
strong, energetic and if the people
will get behind them they will pro
•mote in a wonderful manner the
growth of the state.
Irish Home Rule Bill
Under the parliamentary act the
Irish home rule bill must be
passed three times in three con
secutive years before the voto
of lords becomes inoperative.
The bill was passed in 1912 by
the commons, and was duly ve
toed by the peers. This year the bill
has been given its second reading, and
it will be again passed without amend
ment. Any amendment would operate
as a set-back to the measure. In order
to go through it must be passed each
time in its original form. This will be
done and the lords will no doubt again
veto it.
Its passage at the session in 1914
will make it law'. Irish home rule is
as well assured in Great Britain as a
revenue tariff bill is in this country.
The tories put up a fight, however,
each time, and so no doubt they will
in 1914. The passage of the bill next
year will become historic, it being the
first bill to be put through regardless
of the peers and in direct opposition to
a majority of them.
Marcel G. Brinde-jonc des Moullnals, who
started from Villacouhlay, near Paris, at
4 o'clock in the morning and reached the
Johannlsthal aviation grounds outside of
Berlin shortly after noon, went up from
here again and reached Warsaw, a dis
tance of about 330 miles, at a quarter after
0 p. m. His intention was to continue on
to St. Petersburg, which is 1R99 miles from
Purls. Another French aviator, Krnest
Gulllaux, started from Biarritz on the
Spanish frontier and flew in a northerly
direction. The men are competing for the
st mi-annual Pommery cup, which goes
to the aviator making the tlongest flight
across country from sunrise to sunset on
one day, during which period he may stop
as often as he likes t orepienish fuel. Not
withstanding the warnings of the aston
ished experts at Johannlsthal, Briudejone
des Moullnals slatted again eastward in
a high wind at 3:40 p. m. He alighted at
Warsaw at 6:15 p. m. The total distance
traveled was about COO miles, which is a
record.
And there, behind a screen In the rear
of her husband’s fruit store in Main
street, Patchogue, L. I., Mrs. Samuel Cor
don hud to stand end watch a thief rob
the cash register in front. To be sure, she
did shout, “Stop thief.’” but the thief ap
parently was aware of conditions back of
the screen, for as he departed he laughed
and said: “I dare you to chase me.” Mrs.
Gordon did not chase. Back of the
screen she was taking a bath when the
thief entered the store. It was in the
slack afternoon hours and she expected
no customers. ”1 thought,” she said aft
erward, ”of wrapping myself in two Turk
ish towels, but I couldn't find any pins.
And there he was emptying the money
drawer! And thera I was! It was only
*8 he got, but, dear me, It would have
been the same if it were *800. Indeed, I
wouldn't have run out to catch him if it
had been SS.tOO.OOO.”
President Marshall in an address to the
graduating class of the Young Women's
college conducted ny the Sisters of Provi
dence at Terre Haute, md., declared that
a woman's mission is to co-ordinate the
head and heart of man. "You are going
to quit making fools of yourselves along
the dress line," said Mr. Marshall. “There
will bo at least two breadths to your
skirt. You will take some fellow for bel
ter or worse, and if he turns out worse
you are going to liang on to him. Mar
riage is a 3aeramcnt that no man can put
asunder.” Speak.ng of the Catholic
church as the "mothers’ church,” he
said that if he wore a member of it he
would accept what the church said he
should believe. He thought that too much
stress was laid on the doctrine of the dic
tates of one's own conscience.
Nearly *000, 100,000 is spent annually by
Americans on music, according to detailed
figures submitted to the annua! meeting
of the New York State Music Teachers’
association by Jolm C. Freund. The re
port gave the following annual expendi
tures; Opera, *8,090,000; concerts of oil
kinds, *80,000,000; church music, *3n,oOO,OC3
to *55,000,000; odche.itras in theatres, vaude
ville and moving picture houses, *30,000,000;
military and brass hands of all kinds, *33,
000.000; conservatories, schools, and private
teachers, *l73,.'8)0.'00; American students,
expenses and tuition abroad, *7,500.000. The
expenditures in the musical industries
amount to *230,000,000 annually, the speak
er said. Analyzing these figures, Mr.
Freund said that lids country spent every
year for music Ihrffe times the amount
spent on the army and navy.
There are 48 states and if we had 48 bat
tleships we could keep half on one side of
tile country and half on the other after
the water flows 10 feet deep In the Pana
ma canal.
The President’s attention has not bee.i
called to the city of Winona—at any rate
he lias no engagement to deliver a speech
there.
Washington gained but 361 in population
tills year, although the insidious lobbyists
had settled down in it in large numbers.
That annual educational paradox, com
mencement, at the end of the collese
term, has nearly run its course,
“I am the happiest man in the United
States,” says Mr. Taft, and he carried
only Utah and Vermont.
Our new ambassador at the court of St.
James is househunting, but he has a good
big town to hunt in.
One thousand registered aviators live
in Paris. It is a modern city in that re
spect.
Can there be a lobby when senators do
not recognize it when they meet it at the
capitol?
The cold snap is discouraging to those
who began their summer vacations early.
The KaJscr is convinced that peace hath
her victories no less renown’d than war.
Those who vahe an outing tills month
should take an oil heater along.
Give the automobile credit for one tiling
—its garage doesn't breed flics.
The lobby is not standing together and
it is destined to fall.
No cold snap can lessen the crop of June
brides.
NO MAUDLIN MARTYRDOM
From the New York Telegram.
Emily Wilding Davison did what the
militants have been endeavoring to do
for years. She got the King's eye for
an act of self-immolation and destruc
tion in testimony to the cause by stop
ping the King's horse in the race most
thought of by the King. Thus she has
acquired merit, demonstrating that no
sacrifice, whether of 1 Ifo or health, |
could be considered too great if it*
served the cause.—Chicago Tribune.
It is hard to look upon a woman who
had met death by violence, even if self
sought. It is hard to conceive of any
healthy mind picturing an act of self
destruction as meritorious.
Rarely, if ever, has there been a case
whore a woman’s passing has aroused
less sympathy than in the case of Miss
Davison.
Probably few have thought that had
she survived she would have been held
for attempt to murder Jockey Jones,
or for the graver charge should he suc
cumb to his injuries.
Elevation of the woman to the rank3
of martyrdom by sickly sentimentalists
should be protested.
TRAGEDIES TOLD IK HEADLINES
From the Chicago Tribune.
"Man. Scorning Superstition, Walks
Under Ladder; It Falls on Him.”
“Cleverly Fools Pickpockets by Con
cealing His Wad; But There Was a Big
Hole in His Inside Vest Pocket."
"Stage Lover Puts Too Much Fervor
in Stage Kiss; Husband of Actress
Hunts Him Up After Play Is Over.”
"Purchaser of New Style Motorcycle
Starts It Off All Right, but Doesn’t
Know How to Stop It; Will Be Out of
Hospital in a Few Days.”
"Court Decides That Woman May Be
come Militant Suffragist Without Fur
nishing Husband Sufficient Grounds for
Divorce.”
"Friendly Discussion on How to Dis
tinguish Mushrooms from Toadstools
Ends in Fight; One Man Loses Ear.”
"Rude Husband Plays Joke on Wife
by Concealing Corncob Pipe in Her
Vanity Bag. Subsequent Developments
Embarrassing.'!
WHAT WEALTH MEANS
From the Brooklyn Eagle.
Having our initials embroidered on
our socks.
Being almost run over by a banker
In a motor car.
Having the laundryman leave the
bundle when there is nobody at home
to pay him.
Knowing which one of the forks to
use first.
Being paged in a cafe.
Hiding up in the elevator with the
president of the trust company.
Driving u hack for a stylish wedding.
Having the butcher ask us if we want
the steak cut thick.
Knowing a man who once walked by
Tiffany’s in New York.
POl.t l ull 1'AHAGRAPHS
Front the Chicago News.
The actor who Is a frost cuts no ice.
A theory is always all right until
tried.
A contented man may be too lazy to
kick.
You can't beat some men at your own
game.
Never argue with a man who owns a
loud voice.
Marriage is indeed a failure if the
alimony runs short.
It's far easier to call a spade a spade
than It Is to swing a p(ck.
The man who tries to run an auto
mobile on a wheelbarrow income de
serves a Jolt.
The elevator chauffeur is merely a
human umbrella—he has so many ups
and downs.
Every man is a coward—If you can
only discover the particular thing that
frightens him.
Father and mother may not know the
meaning of daughter's graduating es
say but they are proud of it Just tile
same.
An Indiana woman is married to the
meanest man. He got lier to help save
up money for an automobile and then
he bought a home with it.
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
BlrinlnKbnni and Mobile
In business circles great interest is
| naturally felt in the announcement that
I the Warrant Warehouse company of Bir
mingham has acquired a large interest in
the Magnolia Warehouse and Compress
company of Mobile. The fact that the
two cities have joined hands in a large
j enterprise means a great deal not only for
j both citie^, but for the state of Ala
bama and for the whole south.
As President W. D. Nesbitt of the War
rant. Warehouse company says: "It is a
distinguished union in all respects and one
whirl! will have a large and continually
growing part in the development of this
state and the two sister cities. As is the
case in Birmingham with the Warrant
Warehouse company, Che stockholders and
directors of the Magnolia Warehouse and
Compress company are leaders in the bus
iness ami financial circles of Mobile.”
The combined assets of the two com
panies are in excess of $000,000. Birming
ham now ships about 100,000 bales of cotton
| annually and shippers of cotton through
[ Birmingham and Mobile will, it is esti
mated, save from $200,000 to $300,000 every
season in freight. This inducement, it is
pointed out, will largely increase the cot
ton receipts of Birmingham and Mobilo.
An Announcement flint Pleased
“The announcement in The Age-Herakl
that orders have been given to build 75
houses at Fairfield at ones to accommo
date the employes of the wire mill pleased
everybody,*' said a business man.
“I am not financially interested in Fair
field, but the fact that the Steel corpora
; tion is making large expenditures in con
nection with the completion of the wire
plant affects everybody in Birmingham
indirectly at least. Certain it is that
every dollar that tho corporation spends
in this district strengthens property
values and adds to the stability of all
lines of business.
“I understand that another cheering an
nouncement will be made from the Steel
corporation's headquarters in New York
at an early day.”
The Went Optimistic
“I have spent some time in the west
within the past four weeks and I have
never known that section when it seemed
more prosperous,” said L. T. Cantrell of
Chicago. “Every business man and every
farmer I met was optimistic.
“Business conditions in Chicago are in
a satisfactory condition, and there is the
usual amount of activity in our city. I
am not in direct touch with New York,
but outside of Wall street trade condi
tions are, I believe, very good in the east.
In Chicago business men generally are ex
pecting a brisk summer and fall trade.”
Normal Condition*
“One runs across a pessimist now and
then, but as far as general trade coy
ditions in Birmingham arc concerned they
axe normal, and in some branches of bus
iness there is very marked activity,” said
a member of the Chamber of Commerce.
“A prominent coal operator told me the
other day that his business was simply
splendid. The coal trade as a whole may
not be as brisk as it was a few months
ago, but it is by no means dull. The
iron market is looking up, and in manu
facturing lines there is a great deal of
briskness.
“Building operations in and around Bir
mingham are remaxkably active. This
year’s crops promise to be immense, and
with bumper crops the railroads will be
overtaxed with traffic.
“I feel quite conildent that Birmingham
will have a prosperous summer.”
The Iron Market
There is a decidedly better feeling in tbe
iron market. Prices are tending upward.
Rogers, Brown & Co,, known as a very
conservative ilrm, are optimistic In Its
Cincinnati report issued this week. They
say in part:
"In the eastern and Pittsburg markets
the buying and sentiment Is much Im
proved, and Indications point to a continu
ation on the up grade. In the west and lo
cally conditions are still rather quiet with
some favorable indications which point
to realization later. As is always the way
In markets of this kind, there are many
wild rumors of price reductions which,
on careful Investigation, are found to bo
without foundation. The general senti
ment, however Indicates that buyers have
about reached tho end of the waiting
period and as It Is well known that a ma
jority of contracts expire on July 1, only
a small amount of tonnage having pre
viously been arranged for the third quar
ter and last half. If, as buyers state, their
commitments for finished material arc
satisfactory, some effort to cover for raw
material must be made soon.
"The crop reports on the whole ha\e
never been more favorable for this time
of the year and through the central and
middle west prospects for Immense agri
cultural output are most satisfactory. The
beginning of June sees some 14 less blast
furnaces In operation than on May !,
which would indicate a gradual reduction
in the great rate of manufacture which
has been proceeding."
The Pay of Ambassadors
“Secretary of State William Jennings
Bryan was quoted the other day as say
ing that he was in favor of the United
States owning houses in foreign countries
as residences for our ambassadors and
ministers, but that he was not in favor of
increasing the salaries of our diplomatic
representatives,” said a man who at one
time held a government position in Wash
ington.
”1 think there is a very general senti
ment In favor of this government provid
ing its diplomats with residences, and 1
believe there is also sentiment in favor
of a moderate increase in pay. Our am
bassadors now' receive $17,500 a year in
salaries, but $25,000 a year would not be
too much. But no matter whether the
pay is increased oi] not I am opposed to
picking out rich mJn simply because they
are rich for foreign posts.
“President Wilson and his Secretary of
State seem to have made good selections
thus far. Some of the men appointed or
about to be appointed happen to be
wealthy, but the majority of them are
men of only moderate means.”
ENERGY EXPENDED IN WALKING
From the Philadelphia Public Ledger.
London.—Hopton Hadley, an English
scientist, has lately given some interest
ing facts, pointing out what a tremendous
amount of unknown work we arc doing
every minute that we live. For instance,
the muscular work performed in the sim
ple act of walking is much greater than
most of us have any idea of. Walking,
be says, at the moderate rate of three
miles an hour is equivalent to lifting the
body perpendicularly through one-twen
tieth of the distance wralked. If the per
son walk one mile at the rate mentioned
the amount of work done wetfld be equiv
alent to lifting the body perpendicularly
through a distance of 264 feet.
Supposing a person weighing ISO pounds
aalks five miles, he is doing work which
equals the lifting of near NS tons one foot
high. Yet all the movements of walking
are, In the case of a healthy person, per
formed quite subconsciously, so that ail
the muscles employed in the act are act
ually exercising and developing them
selves. A man cannot even stand perfectly
still without tills unconscious muscular
action. For every moment of active life
hhe is fighting the most powerful of all
natural forces, gravity, and it is only
the absolute co-ordination of mind and
muscle that keeps him erect and steady
on his l’eet.
The total strength of all the muscles In
the body of a strong man can he esti
mated at about 10,000 pounds.. Apart from
the voluntary muscles, which number over
500, there are inlinite involuntary ones
which are even too great to attempt to
estimate. The skin is a perfect network
of tiny muscles. The stomach is merely
a muscle suck. The air tubes of the
lungs have muscular walls, and every
one of these little, muscles has its sep
arate use, and Is being dragged into serv
ice when we haven't the slightest idea
of it. Even every separate hair has Its
own little muscle, by which it can he
made to stand on end when a man is
frightened.
no vou av\t,k “arm ia armv*
From the London Mail.
The habit of a man and woman walk
ing arm-in-arm In public has long gone
out of fashion, soys the Paris Excelsior
In its columns a discussion on the sub
ject is taking place, especially on the
point: Should the woman place her arm
within that of the man, or should he take
hers?
The “spectacle of people walking arm
in-arm is,” says the Excelsior, “begin
ning to become quite sensational”—un
less they are a father taking his daugh
ter to school. Whereas in former days
the woman timidly placed her hand with
in the arm of her cavalier, lightly rest
ing on his sleeve, the up-to-date couple
walk coldly aloof, the man with both
hands behind his back,* the woman with
both hers in her muff.
There Is a time when self-respecting
people may permit themselves to walk
arm-in-arm. rt is when they are on a
holiday, in the country, in hours of
peaceful reverie, when all things in na
ture seem to hold hands. It is an at
titude which demands a certain inti
macy, a gentleness of gait and contom-'
plativeness of mien.
“No decidedly.” says the Parisian, “let
us not bring back this arm-in-arm fash
ion to Paris.” The picture is drawn of
a young man of a type which is seen
frequently in the stretes, who takes a
girl’s arm in a sort of jiu jitsu grip,
grasping her hand or wrist, holding her
elbow as in a vice, and by the leverage
of his arm forcing her to walk with one
shoulder hunched up and the other low
ered. The object appears to be that the
man as a policeman might propel a re
calcitrant offender to the police station.
This is dearly not to be compared for
gracefulness with the fashion of a gen
eration ago, when the lady hung lightly
on the arm of a strong and dashing
escort.
C OAL IN ALASKA
From the Philadelphia Press.
New interest is added to the dispute
concerning control of coal fields In
Alaska by the testimony given in Chi
cago recently that there were In that
vast territory of ours no less than 1,
600,000,000,000 tons of the- precious fuel
buried under an area of 000 square miles.
What is more interesting still, and com
forting us well Is cs expert testimony
that there is coal enough in the United
States proper to last for 5000 years to
come.
This testimony was given in a suit in
which fraud against the government in
the Alaska coal fields was charged. The
comforting witness was William Griffith,
mining engineer and geologist, employed
by the government bureau of mines. His
figures are stupendous. Although tho
average yearly consumption of coal has
been 400,000,000 tons, there are, lie de
clares, still underground in the United
States (taking no account of the enor
mous reserve supply in Alaska) not less
than 2,600*000,000,000 tonsfl What Is more,
we have hardly scratched the visible sup
ply since we have been mining coal, for
consumption has so far used up only
four-tenths of 1 per cent of the otal
supply.
These are indeed reassuring figures,
and should set at rest in the minds of
the most timid all misgivings as to coal
famines, so far as nature is concerned.
Out of her enormous abundance nature
stands ready to give us all that we will
take, while the task of cornering a mar
ket of the size described by Mr. Griffith
may well appall the most ambitious cap
tain of industry of ages yet to come.
THEY SAY
From the Boston Transcript.
Edison says that in a hundred years
there will be no poverty. None for any
of us, certainly.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox says that “man
hasn’t made good." Very sorry, madam.
E’s bloomin’ ’ard to lire.
Edna Goodrich says that "blondes
must go." Well, they are going. Several
we know are going abroad and one is
going to get married.
W. D. Howells says: “Keep a note
book and put down all the clever things
you hear." One about the size of a
slump book will last several years.
Fogg says that the Goodwln-Hopper
version of tlie old motto seems to be:
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try,
try, try again.”
IIVOLITIOY of battleship fleet
From the New York Post.
Perhaps you have watched tlie evolu
tions of tlie battleship fleet in formation
and have wondered whether those great
ships, preserving that perfect alignment
and distance, must not be parts of one
single whole. If you are on board one of
| them tlie illusion is still more striking.
Perhaps you will not observe the slightest
change in the line forw’ard or aft In a
day's time. One man especially will never
forget how, standing on the same spot on
the bridge of the Rhode Island, he saw
the sun set three nights in succession over
the Identical funnel of the Maine, follow
ing it behind. As the red ball sank into
the Pacific the slack split It evenly to
the watcher’s sight—three nights run
ning!
CANCELLED ORDER
From the National Monthly for June.
An old German started to order a
couple of bags of peanuts uj a Cin
cinnati firm, but In order to be sure
that he needed them, he sent his little
girld down into the cellar to seo if
he had any on hand. The little girl re
ported that there "wuz two bags down
there.” He Immediately mailed the let
ter with this postcrlpt:
P. P-—Please do not send the pea
nuts. Found some In the cellar.
IN PROPORTION
From the Baltimore American.
“Is aviation expensive?” -
“I must say it mounts up.'*.
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
WORLDLY HOPES.
"I’m climbing from the lowlands,”
A weary pilgrim said,
“Far up the hills of morning,
Whose tops are tipped with red.
T see the sun’s rim blazing
Beyond the highest peak
There lies the goal of all my dreams,
The goal fur Which I seek.”
He climbed up from the lowlands,
He scaled the peak he sought,
Through many a whirling tempest,
Through many a battle fought.
High on the hills of morning
He faltered in dismay;
They were but foothills after all, ]
And darkness closed the day.
'Tis over so with dreamers
With eyes fixed on some goal.
For which they strive through many
years
And times of heat and cold,
And spend their lives ami break their
hearts,
To find when all is past.
The prize is nut worth half the toll
By which ’tis won at last.
OVERHEARD.
"I fear Mrs. Gadders rather affects the
double entendre.”
"Well, I can't say that I care much for
calisthenics myself."
AN IRRITANT.
‘"Dlbbs likes to put himself in the
public eye.”
* "Yes. and lie invariably makes the pub
lic eye water.”
MALODOROUS.
"I see where a certain couple in the
English nobility have decided not to air
their domestic affairs in court.”
"I think I know to whom you are re
ferring and since they have so decided,
the court will doubtless be spared the
necessity of holding its nose.”
HOW WE FEEL.
The man who mounts a motor bike.
And goes so fast he’s soon a speck,
Ir. that his sort we do not like,
We hope will some day break his neck.
A GREAT <jOMFORT TO HER.
“Little Miss Porker has married Jack
Haworth, the famous college athlete.'’
“I presume she is very proud of him.”
“Yes, and furthermore, she says that
if it ever becomes necessary to fire the
cook, she knows he can do it.”
FRANKLY SPOKEN.
“There are some scrubby specimens
of hunianity in this world.”
“Right you are, Simpkins, but you arc
the last man in the world whom [ would
suspect of having made u critical survey
of himself in a mirror.”
ADMITTING AN ERROR.
‘ Yes, I'm wrong, i must cry ‘peCeavi.’ ”
‘•You must, eli? Well, since they found
you out, I would at least cry something
that your neighbors can understand."
SOME OF YOU DID.
The youth who wears a flaming tic
And socks to match and “rah, rah”
clothes,
Should not arouse your ire. And why?
You once wore garments just like those!,
THE FRENZIED MAID.
The butter hud refused to come,
And, with an angry gleam
In both her eyes, the dairy maiu
Got mad and whipped the cream.
—Schenectady Siar.
And when she found the punished cream
Would neither scream nor beg,
Elsewhere she turned her cruelty
And beat a feeble egg.
—Scranton Tribune-Republican.
And still on cruelty intent—
The plot begins to thicken—
When hunger’s pangs began.to gnaw
She smothered her a chicken.
—Houston Post
Driven to such dire despair,
Tills maid—oh, such a fate, oh—
She madly grabbed a rolling pin
And mashed a hot potato.
-^Lake Uharlcs Timer
And not content with all this crime.
This servant maid so brazen
Walked over to the table and
Commenced to stone raisin.
—Florida Tim* -Union
But even this Inhuman act
Did not. it seemed, suffice.
For picking up a rolling pin,
She crushed a lot of ice.
—St. Louis Post •Dispute..
And after that the cruel maid.
A sight one’s heart t* break.
Because the meat was tough, she jluW,
Rose up and beat the steal:.
RIGHT RACK.
“Well, sir, xvliat are you doing for the
good of your fellow man?”
"For one thing I am not asking m.v
fellow man Impertinent questions.”
YOU KNOW HIM.
The man l always will revile
And whom 1 hate to meet,
Js hr who ran forget lo smile
When it's his turn to treat.
—Cincinnati Enquirer.
Another meaner.man we’ve found.
On him tve'il like to fall;
He lets us pay for every round
And never buys at all.
HE AND HUE.
A woman likes to travel with bright new
baggage, but a man wants his suitcases
to look sadly battered so everybody will
think lie is a confirmed globe trotter.
PAUL COOK.
“SIC GLORIA”
From the L u‘: iUe Courier-Journal.
□PON the passing of Harper's
Weekly—ami. If It he a passing,
of George Harvey—the press has
naturally had a deal to say. The "Jour
nal of Civilization," established In lf>S7
by the most prosperous and distinguished
publishing house in the country, had from
first to last a varied experience. The
original Brothers Harper were Methodists
und democrats. Their leaning before the
war was a little southerly. The coming
of the war threw the pendulum rather
violently in the opposite direction, al
though the Harpers themselves were, al
ways personally kind and generous to
southern men.
From George William Curtis to George
Brinton McClellan Harvey witnessed a
swinging back of this pendulum.
Betweeil the two extremes lay a world
of history. Curtis belonged to the Brook
Farm school of political trangeen
dentallsts. In style and manner he, was
an English rector. He had for a pictorial
yokemate Thomas Nast, something of a
cross betwixt a German metaphysician
and a dlreet-from-the-shoulder-hltting
Phllllstine. In the beginning Custlc held
Nast In a kind of contempt as merely an
illustrator. But, us Nast began to grow,
a Jealousy sprang up. With Nast's in
creasing reputation and importance this
assumed the dimensions of a sharp rivalry
and finally of Intense hatred on the part
of Nast, who bitterly resented tlio lofty
self complaisance and suave disdain with
which Curtis habitually treated him.
Franklin Square made a fatal mistake
when.lt let Nast go. It should have bid
den good-by to Curtis.
George Brinton McClellan Harvey, born
In 1SG1, Is, as Ills baptismal name Implies,
a democrat; that Is, his father was a
democrat; a New England democrat,
meaning a man of conviction and endur
ance. In those days it took such a Yan
kee to stand his ground and hold his own.
At the instant of well night ruinous dis
aster George Harvey came to the head of
the great house of Harper. That he has
kept It afloat is a tribute to Ills prowess
as a man both of affulrs and letters.
That he should part with Harper's Week
ly Is tribute to his wisdom und courage.
Under the circumstances It was a hard
thing to do.
The Weekly lias been losing money for
20 years. It was losing money long before
George Harvey came to it. In assigning
a reason for this, Colonel Harvey falls
Into a kind of anarchrunlsm when he
says:
“Times have changed. 1 hr- country was
conservative and thoughtful In those
days. Now it is radical and Impetuous.
The Weekly's general policy lias never
veered. It has always stood for progress
along cautious lines. It lias always held
positive convictions and lias never been
timid In expressing them. It has always
hated hypocrisy and despised humburg.
Its open eyes have always been turned
forward, never backward. The dominant
issue 30 years ago was civil service re
form; In recent yeurs it has been tariff
reform. The Weekly 'has been a stanch
and persistent advocate, even leudcr, of
both great movements."
Here Colonel Harvey confuses two pe
riods: tile one of Curtis and Nast, the
other of himself. The cause tor the fail
ure of the Weekly is not to be sought in
its character and management under
either regime. The simple fact Is that
the illustrated weekly has been supersed
ed by the illustrated daily. Nothing more
need be said.
Curtis in Ills day and order did ad
mirably—Nast yet still more so—from
their side of the fence; Harvey as well
or better from Ills side; but if all their
energies and talents had been combined
they could not have saved Hie day. Har
vey was just as vigorous, just as sclntil
iant, just as representative of tbe modern
as was Curtis of the urn but wi.rl 1 of
American politics, Indeed, he showed
greater reach and was more successful,
for he actually made a President of the
Vnited States arid saw him safely inside
the door of the White House.
Whatever may happen to George Har
vey, that is a distinction which cannot
be denied him. To take a mere or less
obscure scholar and college provident by
the hand, to lead him from the fur away
glimmer of suggestion Into the limelight
of the probable, to conceive and arrange
a Etate campaign with tills creation of his
single idealistic fancy at the actual head
of it, proves two things, extraordinary
prescience in discovery and uncommon
genius for organisation.
He made no mistake in the ability and
aptitude of his man. Neither did he mis
calculate ids availability. His error seems
to have been that of tlie hapless swaiu
who
"Grieved for friendship unreturned
And unregarded lava."
Ills "star” showed himself equal to
every emergency, oven that of kicking the
stepladdcr away from him when he re
quired an aeroplane. But, when the his
tory of these tlmea Is written, however
large the man may loom upon the page,
his maker can never be lnude. to look
small; not any more than the spot upon
the kinfily hand which tire multitudinous
seas incarnadine could not wash clean,
will the neglect of the debtor be forgot
ten in the glory of the Ingrate'.'
Lib bien, as we Irish say. It all goes in
a lifetime. 81c transit gloria mundl—to
quote expressive language of the folks
on Bitter creek—George Harvey may
thank his stars that he Is well out of It.
"it was tough on Harvey," says a pert
paragrnpher, “to havo a rival publisher
preferred over him and sent as ambas
sador to the Court of St. James.” That
huwever, is as a body may think.
Office is but a badge of servitude.
Greeley and Raymond were unwise to seek
it and would have found It ao. George
Harvey has made his mark even as thay
made theirs; a bold, strong mark; and
we do not see that he could have added
mucli to his fame by prolonging what Is
at best but a grind from day to day to
the last syllable of recorded contumely,
travail and driAlglng. Even if his career
be behind him it is solid and brilliant, lie
is Ids own muster, not poorly off In this
world's goods; what moro could he want?
It Is to his credit that he put Harper'*
Weekly in clean hands when he might
have had more for it from yellow hands.
He did not take the pitcher too often to
the well. In short, henceforth he is a
free nigger anil not a slave nigger, and
can go a-flshing whenever he likes, amus
ing himself meanwhile with his North
American Review. Though the goldtm
howl ot politics be a trifle fractured at
tire fountain, what boots it lo the pure in
heart? Wo arc passing through a period
of probation. Public life is tentative.
With party Ism the merest trade and party
labels only trade marks, we do not per
ccive that George Harvey, or for th*
matter of that any of those in the same
boat, has anything to cry about over the
milk that may he spilled, or the water
that Is passpd- .There's Ipts. of ale—and a
few i-ukes—left In the cupboard, and a
long life and a merry for those that serv*
God and love their fellow men!
A MILS WITH ME
By Henry Van Dyke.
O, who will walk a mile with me
Along life’s merry way?.
A comrade blithe and full of glee,
Who dares to laugh out loud and free,
Ami let tills frolic fancy play,
I,Ike a happy child, through flowers gay
That fill the field mid fringe the way
Where he walks a mile with me.
And who will walk a mile with me
Along life's weary way
A friend whose heart has eyes to see
The stars shine out o'er the darkening
lea,
And the quiet rest at. the end o’ day—
A friend who knows, and dares to say.
The brave, sweet words that cheer the
wuy
Where he walks a mile with me.
With such a comrade, such a friend.
I fain would walk till journey's end,
Wirough summer sunshine, winter rain.
And then?—Farewell, we meet again I