The Birmingham age-herald. [volume], June 23, 1913, Page 4, Image 4

About The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950

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THE AGE-HERALD
K. \V. BARRETT.Editor
Entered at the Birmingham, Ala.,
postoffice as second class matter under
act of Congress March 3, 1879.
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THE AGE-HERALD,
Birmingham, Ala.
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ing.
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Covent Garden, London.
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eign advertising.
” " TELEPHONE
Bell (private exchange connecting nil
departments). No. 41)00.
I see that the fashion wears out
more apparel than the man.
-—Much Atlo About Nothing.
Blount County’s Roads
Thp trip of the state highway en
gineer, W. S. Keller, over Alabama is
' already bearing fruit. It is a very
graphic means of drawing statewide
attention to the subject of highways,
and among other things it has given
■to Judge John F. Kelton an opportuni
ty to call attention to the work Blount
county is doing.
That was a magnificent showing
made by Judge Kelton in Sunday’s
Age-Herald. Though Blount county is
inhabited by sturdy, God-fearing men
and women, and though it is the moth
er of imperial Jefferson county, it is
recognized as one of the poorer coun
ties of the state. It is a rugged, rock
ribbed county with many mountain
formations, which, while they offer
picturesque advantages, make the
problem of road construction much
more expensive than is the case in the
more level sections of the state.
That the county is alive to the ad
vantages of good roads is shown not
only by the magnificent roads which
have alerady been built but also by
the fact that the county has floated
$150,000 in bonds to build still more
highways.
Indeed, considering Blount county's
resources and disadvantages the show
ing this county is making may well
put to the blush some of the wealthier
and more populous counties of Ala
bama. __________
Scattering Ashes of the Dead
One of the northern cities has re
cently found it necessary and ad
visable to pass a law prohibiting the
scattering of the allies of the dead to
the four winds from the tops of sky
scrapers.
It is not difficult to analyze the
feeling which prompts one to scatter
the ashes of his dead from a high
point, whether it be from the top of
a great office building, from the cen
tral span of some great bridge or
(from the summit of a lofty mountain
peak. In such places man somehow
feels closer to the infinite. Consciously
or unconsciously, he who scatters the
ashes of a deceased loved one from
these elevations believes that they are
thus more quickly mingled with the
Infinite, whence they came.
However, the rights of others must
$e considered. The new law is based
upon the idea that it is against the
public health to have these ashes
floating about in the atmosphere to be
breathed by those on the lower levels.
This is sufficient justification for the
new law, to say nothing of the shock
to the sensibilities of those who dwell
below in a very real and very finite
world. _
Graduates as Dishwashers
The report from San Francisco that
100 college graduates are employed as
dishwashers in the hotels and restau
rants of that city ought to meet with
more than passing mention consider
ing the time and money spent upon
an education that leaves the graduate
qualified for no higher or better oc
cupation than dishwashing. Either
the schools are at fault or the gradu
ates are at fault, but which of them
is not easy to decide.
The main purpose of schools is to
educate and train the youth for the
duties of life. Duties are as variahle
as they are innumerable, they reach
from the highest intellectual pursuits
down to the hewing of wood and
drawing of water, and no duty, how
ever humble it be, if well and honest
ly discharged, shoAd fail of honor
and»reward. But just as duties vary
in their nature so do the men to whom
the discharge of these duties is en
trusted, and so should the education
and training vary to 'meet the re
quirements, but there, it seems, is
where much, if not the most, of the
failure of education lies.
Most boys display an aptitude for
aome particular business, trade or
profession, but there are some who
show no preference in any direction.
Fartunately the world has many
▲ l
■things to be done which require little
or no initiative and these things fall
to the lot of those who have no spe
cial talents or predictions. They are
as necessary >.o society as their more
intelligent brothers,- but it is a sheer
waste of time and money to give such
boys anything more than an element
ary education.
It is as difficult to restrain genius
as it is to advance the dull or the idle,
and the schools that fail to discrim
inate between boys of different na
tures are merely shaping square pegs
for round holes. Illiteracy should be
and would be unknown in the United
r
States if the honors of graduation
were confined to those who seek and
win them by their labors, and a plain
and simple schooling given to all
others. _
More Recreation for Employes
The Thursday afternoon closing
movement that will be put in effect
during the months of July and Au
gust will doubtless prove a boon to
the hundreds of clerks and other em
ployes of the downtown stores.
After months of faithful work, Mrs.
Murdoch and her corps of faithful as
sistants have got the movement
started, and, while all the stores
have not agreed to close Thursday
afternoons, the large majority have,
and many hundreds of the employes
will be given a half-holiday each
week. The results will prove that the
worth of the movement by the greater
efficiency of the employe.
Many of the railroad companies do
not allow an employe to work more
than a certain number of hours each
day or week, while the great Steel
corporation has an ironclad rule i-lmt
none of its employes shall work more
than six days in one week. As is
known, the mills apd furnaces work
continuously night and day, seven
days a week, 30 days a month, year
in and year out, yet the Steel corpora
tion, often at a great inconvenience
to the working force, compels a man
to lay off one day a week, not nec
essarily Sunday but any day he can
arrange with his fellow workers.
The motive for this is not merely
philanthropy; but the managers and
superintendents of the various plants
have found out by actual figures and
unquestionable facts that the system
.tends to the greater efficiency of the
workmen with a corresponding in
crease in the output. So the ladies
who have so presistently advocated
the Thursday afternoon closing move
ment have not only the philanthropic
ai-gument for the granting of the half
holiday, but the argument of the great
railroad systems and that of the
Steel corporation in giving their em
ployes sufficient time to rest.
Many of the girls who work in the
stores are kept busy from morning
until night, and with a break in the
week's work they will be able to give
better service during the long and
busy hours of the week end trade.
Roaches as Spreaders of Disease
In these days of rapid accretion of
summer scavengers a noteworthy fact
is that the common roach is the
latest pest to come under the ban.
European scientists now claim to have
good ground for the belief that the
roach is responsible for the. spread
of cancer.
A Copenhagen man has shown that
a worm in the stomach of a rat which
existed in a larval state in the intes
tines of a roach induces a cancerous
growth. The medical journals are al
ready pointing out that there need be
no surprise in charging ^he roach with
being a spreader of disease, because
so many of the other household scav
engers and pests, including the mouse,
rat, fly, mosquito and flea, have long
ago been shown to be dangerous car
riers of disease.
The remedy is the same in all
cases. If you do not feed scavengei'3
they cannot live. Absolute cleanliness
about the household means that all
these pests will desert for some place
where they can find something to eat.
To attempt to kill out these pests by
artificial means is to start in the
wrong way. They must be starved and
they must not be allowed favorable
places to propogate.
If the stable is kept clean there can
be no flies. If the swamps and stag
nant water are not allowed there can
be no mosquitoes. If the moist crevices
are filled up and the bread crumbs
and refuse not allowed to accumulate
there can be no roaches.
Several copies of "September Morn" are
on display in the window of a Birming
ham art store and we don’t hear any
loud cries of protest, it is a ripping pic
ture. No, nol a ripping picture. As a
matter of fact, there is nothing on the
young woman to rip.
Bady Constance, who does a little bare
foot dancing for a large amount of money |
says it is a frightful mistake to hide the
body from the general view of the pub
lic. Oil, well, it wouldn’t pay some of
us to make the exposure.
Birmingham’s fattest citizens, who is
also a line fellow, suggests ice us a prin
cipal article of food during the summer
months. It may he eaten rapidly, but
great care should he taken not to con
geal the liver.
Tlie modern woman lays aside her
fashion plates t,u study the issues of the
day. |
Every time an additional atory is added
to the Jefferson County Bank building
pedestrians have to tilt their heads far
ther hack to look at it. Before the last
story Is added some people will doubtless
be lying flat on their backs looking
straight up.
Aif Noyes, having received the degree
of doctor of letters from one of the lead
ing American universities, will doubtless
lie encouraged to keep up his endeavors
to convince the skeptical in this country
that he is a real poet.
A good many honest, hard-working cit
izens are alarmed when told that they
live in a “moribund'’ community. It is
always a mistake to use a long word
when a short word will serve just as
well, or better, to express what you mean.
Madame Bernhardt says she would like
to get hold of the “cat” who started that
story about her marriage to a young man
In her company. A wonderful woman,
but not original In her choice of an
epithet.
A Chicago woman threatens to shoot
holes in the tires of an automobilist who
ran over her dog. A slaughter of inno
cent bystanders seeniB to be threatened.
When the moving picture machine is
used to catch unsuspecting lovers who
are telling each other the “old, old story”
It is being put to a base, ignoble use.
The Chicago News calls attention to the
fact that Mr. and Mrs. Souse are hav
ing a divorce suit. The grounds for di
vorce, we presume, are alcoholic.
Birmingham's street car strike may
make a few people hotter than the weath
er does, but so far the situation is even
better than could be expected.
Some peoples’ idea of a big night is to
| visit two or three moving picture the
atres. They get a headache, too, but it
comes from eye-strain.
An Illinois man holds the world's rec
ord for eating eggs, having consumed 6L
at a sitting. Must have been fresh eggs.
He's still alive.
The really earnest people are found sit
ting on the hard benches at a summer
Chautauqua while the celebrated lecturer
unlimbers.
J. M. Barrie lives in an atmosphere
of good tobacco and maybe that is one
reason why he writes such good plays.
AVhat if the former Anna Gould did
fib about her age to the papal court?
That's a woman’s prerogative.
Our idea of a near-sighted man is one
who can’t tell an army aeroplane from
a duck.
EVERYMAN AND SOME WOMAN
Minna Thomas Antrim in July Lippin
cott’s.
Who doubts the ’ Brotherhood of Man”
has never seen them mix at "The Game.”
Silence Is more often leaden than golden,
after the knot is tied.
The line of least resistance Is the waist
line.
To be poor and brainy is an affliction,
but to he rich and brainless is tragic.
Beasts of Pray-Hypocrites.
Women forgive only those errors that
they might have committed.
Old age Is more fearful to beauty than
God’s wrath.
To be direct is to be unfeminine. Few
women are—unfeminine.
’Tis better to be an old man’s pet lamb
than a young man's goat.
Many wrho cry, "Pooh! pooh!” shy at
No. 13.
"Dear me'” breathes the egoist softly.
The piper does not believe in long credit.
He collects often.
Satan never is more dangerous than
when chanting the IJtany of clothes.
Plain wives are less wearing than fluffy
ones.
NOT A FUTURIST
From July Lippincott’s.
Among the bew'ildered and in some cases
indignant spectators gathered at the re
cent futurist exhibition of painting and
sculpture in Chicago was a young man
from Springfield, in charge of a cousin
who Is "strong for’’ the new' movement in
art.
The youth remained silent during the
view and the subsequent explanations of
the new Idea given him by his cousin.
"Well,” said the latter finally, "you
don’t seem particularly enthusiastic about
them. What do you think?’’
"Think!” growled the youth from
Springfield. "Why. I’ve got two aunts at
home that can knit hotter pictures than
those.”
ONLY THING ELEPHANT FEARS
We were brough up to believe that the
only thing which would frighten an ele
phant was a mouse. This is a mistake,
says H. R. H„ the Duke of Montpensier,
in the July Wide World Magazine.
Strange as it may seem, the only creat
ure feared by the elephant is the mos
quito. The reason is that the elephant
has a very porus skin, and the mospulto
can penetrate very easily into the large
pores, thus reaching the flesh. The only
way In which the elephant can get rid of
the mosquito is to bathe frequently, and
cover himself with dust after the bain,
thus stopping up the pores of his skin, so
that, his tiny assailant is smothered, or
excluded if he has not already pene
trated.
POINTED PARAGRAPH*
From the Chicago News.
Matchmakers never set the world on
fire.
If a man Is handsome he exaggerates
to himself.
As for trouble—the supply always
exceeds the demand.
It takes a working theory to pull off
a practical stunt.
The man who has no price is the
only one regally worthy.purchasing.
Young women, big feet in7 white
hoots can be seen a block away!
Alas, when the microbe of love suc
cumbs to the germ of suspicion!
Perhaps there's nothing in a name,
but it helps on a bank check.
Charity may cover a multitude of
sins, but all the big ones show through.
Paint and powder have even been
known to alter the complexion of a
woman’s thoughts.
A man Just can’t help feeling fool
ish every time he hears of a baby be
ing named after him.
It takes a fussy worsan to believe
that neighborhood gossip is true when
she knows it isn’t.
Never forget that your neighbors
have an eye on you, even if they are
looking in another direction.
Why is it that a man who is always
helping his wife at home during his
spare time is regarded by his fool
friends as being in the henpecked class?
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Plenty of Money for Crops
Henry Clews, the well known New
York banker, sends out the following
encouraging bulletin on the money sit
uation under Saturday’s date:
“The demand for our foodstuffs by
Europe will be so great this fall that
payment thereof will go very far to
ward meeting the many demands for
moving^ our crops, consequently there
will be less money for our banks to
supply; this will do much toward pre
venting the stringency so generally ex
pected. Now the money scare is broken,
a good deal of call funds will be like
ly to go into time loans, owing to the
wide difference between call and time
money.
“This process will advance call money
rates as a natural sequence. This will
be a wholesome feature and a substan
tial gain to business interests generally.
The money scare can now 1>e consid
ered as collapsed, and the Secretary of
the Treasury is entitled to the credit
therefor through the moral effect of
his suggestion to the banks to take
out emergency currency whenever re
quired to protect the needs of their
dealers, thus showing that the new ad
ministration is in favor of aiding the
business interests of the country and
is against depression or panic condi
tions, for which I applaud them. It is
now quite evident that clearing hous<*
certificates will not be needed this fall
as many have been predicting would be
necessary.
“They will be superseded by the
emergency currency if occasion abso
lutely calls for it during the crop
moving season, the cost of which will
l»e 5 per cent for the first 30 days.
6 per cent for the second 30 days and
7 per cent for the third 30 days, av
eraging H per cent for three months’
use. which will be ample to cover the
crop moving period, or nearly so."
Opposes Itoosevelt Monument
"I am unalterably opposed to the
[ proposition to erect a monument in
| Birmingham to Theodore Roosevelt un
der any circumstances,’’ said a mem
ber of the official family of Jefferson
county, “but particularly so for the
reason assigned by the promoters of
the scheme, that of the absorption of
the Tennessee Coal, Iron and Railroad
company by the Steel corporation whicli
happened under his regime. I fail to
see any part he played in that propo
sition except that he allowed a deal
to be put through that subsequently
the government saw fit to investigate
as being unlawful.
“While it is true the Steel corpor
ation has with its tremendous re
sources made some vast improvements
in the old plants of the Tennessee com
pany and are planning new develop
ments, yet it occurs to me that Roose
velt cut no more figure in bringing
it about than did Chauncey, the news
paper vender. To give any credit to
Roosevelt for that great industrial deal
is on a par with giving the republican
party credit for prosperity following
bumper crops.”
Whnt the Octopus In
“For a long time past pert paragraph
ed, alleged humorists and cartoonists
have reveled in speaking of so-called
trusts as the octopus,” said a citizen. “In
my opinion Mr. Roosevelt was entirely
right when he said that there are good
trusts and bad trusts. But the average,
newspaper reader seems to have an idea
that an octopus is an amphibious ani
mal whose chief aim in life is to wrap
its tentacles about something and cling
to that something until death, and in
many cases, after death.
“The Americana encyclopedia tells just
what an octopus is and it might be in
teresting enough to reproduce. 'The octo
pus is a genus of the dibranchiate cephal
opoda, or cuttlefishes, forming the type
of the family Octopodidae, the members
of which group are familiarly known as
“poulpes,” ' says the Americana. ‘These
forms possess eight arms of equal length,
united to each other by a web varying
in extent in different forms. The arms
possess two rows of sessile, wholly fleshy
suckers.
” 'The prominent head is joined to the
body by a distinct “neck,'' and the body
itself is short, generally more or less
rounded in shape, and unprovided with
side or lateral fins. The shell is internal
and is represented by two short “styles,''
which lie imbedded in the “mantle." ’ *’
Dr. Hartley's Death
"Dr. Frank Hartley, one of the fore
most surgeons of the world, died in
New York Thursday," said a profes
sional man.
"Dr. Hartley was known to fame as
the first to cure trigeminal neuralgia
by severing the ganglion nerve. Dr.
Hartley was born in Washington June
10, I860. He was a son of John F. Hart
ley, who was Assistant Secretary of
State under President Lincoln.
"Dr. Hartley had received the degrees
of A. B., A. M., M. D. and LL. D. from
Harvard university. He was an as
sistant surgeon at the Roosevelt hos
pital from 1884 to 1887; was attending
surgeon at the General Memorial ami
Bellevue hospitals, 1890-08, and had
been connected with the New York hos
pital since 1895. He was consulting
surgeon of the General Memorial Ba- j
bies’ and the French and Nyack hos- |
pitals since 1889. He was an instruc- ^
tor of operative surgery and a lecturer
on surgery. Dr. Hartley was a member-)
of several medical societies and of the
Greek letter fraternities at Harvard."
The Sketch of Mr. Finch
"Hugh Roberts, in his sketch of the
late Mr. Finch of the editorial stall of
The Age-Herald, handled a very delicate
and difficult piece of newspaper work
in a most flnshed, refined and pleasing
style for those who would pay a tribute
of love or respect to his noble charac
ter," said Percy Clark.
"The writer, who pens the words
which voice the mind and heart of
those who would speak from the ten
derest depths of grief; of regret—yx?a'
of sorrow,—that rich red wine of the
soul, strikes well nigh a lost cord in |
this day of modern jurnalisin. It is a
difficult piece of newspaper work to
pay just tribute to a co-worker, who
deserves the best, and at the same
time not mix the colorings so as to
oe’rstep the unwritten laws of the
•fourth estate.’ Mr. Roberts wrote a semi-,
classic, in his character sketch of a
man of unique, but pleasing personali
ty—his chapter of well chosen expres
Bive words, written for all who knew
admired or loved Mr. Finch—awoke In
their hearts and minds grateful re
sponses for the things they would like
to have said, so well sal<4.
"Mr. Finch left a strong impress of
present day thought and philosophical
adaptation on those who knew him Jn
‘tlmately us to mundane matters; other
than that, as to the ‘veil’—why who
shall lift it?" i
HEAVIEST CAN NON ADI]
Jn the July American Magazine the
fiftieth anniversary of the battle of
Gettysburg, which comes on July 1, is cel
ebrated with an unusual description of
the battle by Edgar Allen Forbes. Coming
tj the third day of the battle, Mr. Forbes
writes in part;
"The great hour of Gettysburg is at
hand—the hour of the evening sacrifice.
The cannoneers on Seminary ridge are
grouped behind 100 massed guns, facing
another 100 on Cemetery ridge, a mile dis
tant. Pickett, his long black hair falling
about his shoulders, rises up to Lee and
reports that his division is ready. Long
street also is there, moody and silent, but
inwardly rebellious.
"An order from Alexander, chief of ar
tillery, sends the cannoneers to their
posts behind the cruel engines of death.
Two puffs of smoke and dame shoot out
from the Washington artillery, and the
work of hell begins with solid shot find
shell on both sides. For two long hours
the overture continues in a deafening roar
—'the heaviest cannonading over heard on
the American continent.’
"The fire of neither side does any se
rious harm to the sheltered infantry, but
the shells scatter death and destruction
among the batteries, where the sound of
exploding caissons alone drowns the piti
ful neighing of wounded horses. At ‘the
Bloody Angle/ where Pickett's blow is
10 fall heaviest, here is what Is happen- .
ing:
"Lieutenant Cushing of Battery A 1
Fcurtli United States artillery, challenged!
the admiration of all w ho saw’ him. j
Three of liis limbers were changed with ;
tho caissdh limbers under fire. Several,
wheels were shot off his guns and re
placed, till at last—severely wounded him
self, his officers all-killed or wounded, and
with fSTit cannoneers enough to man a sec
tion—he pushed his gun to the fence,
and was kiled while serving, his last can
ister into tho ranks of the approaching
enemy/*
A Ill'll 0,\ SO AT THE SE ASHORE
Harrison Rhodes, in Harper’s Magazine
for July.
Tlie presence of royalty is pleasantly
pervasive at San Sebastian, but never
overawing. The royal palace at Miramar,
if you like to use so splendid a phrase, is,
in fact, a very modest residence—it would
attract no great attention in any self re
specting suburb of a prosperous American
city. From it. his majesty descends often
to go motoring, motor boating, strolling
along the Concha, or visiting at the boat
like building of the Nautical club, quite
as might any other happy, good natured
young fellow. The Queen mother takes
walks and looks in at the shops. The
Queen goes driving. And the royal chil
dren are familiarity and frequently seen
in a kind of contusion of nqrses and gov
ernesses, drawn in an open carriage by
four magnificent mules, if royal cousins
or ducal relations happen to be staying
a few days at any of the San Sebastian
hotels, their various majesties are apt to
drop in for a quiet family meal. Of course
there is a strip of red carpet laid down
the front steps, and of course the small
page boys of the hotel have fresh, white
gloves with an air of carrying the af
fairs of the whole nation upon their nar
row shoulders. Otherwise there is little
extra formality beyond that which even
our own simple American taste would
consider due to the head of a country, be
he king or president.
Certain occasions, happily for the visit
or, demand greater splendor. If the King
goes in state to the bull fight or to some
great function in the gloomy, great church
of Santa Maria in the old town—events, in
Spain, of almost equal importance and
solemnity—crowds gather in the streets,
and his majesty clatters by, accompanied
by the most dashing soldiery of the pen
insula. the guardia civil. A’henever in
the barber you see a motorboat cut the
waters at extra speed, or in the green
country for BO miles around see an auto
mobile whiz by at double the allowed
pace, you know it is the young King, in
deed, most of the manifestations of el
sport in San Sebastian may be traced to
hns influence, except bull fighting, ami the
question may be for the moment left open
whether this is actually el sport. His
yacht lies in the bay, and around it on
the numerous regatta days flutters a
graceful butterfly of small bouts. Toward
San Sebastian, his royal residence, com
peting motor cars speed in great races
from all the capitals’ of Europe. And the
practitioners of ths lawn :ennis, the foot
ball, the aviation, and the sport hlplco
arc doubtless encouraged by the situation
of their campos at the foot of his royal
hill of Miramar. Perhaps even the hun
dreds of bathers springing to and fro in
the blue sea sun themselves as well in
his royal regard.
THE LITTLE STRANGER
Dr Norman Porrltt in the July Strand.
If the little stranger fills the parents
with joy, its reception by brothers
wants the warmth of welcome given by
the sisters. The girls hang round the
little cherub with a reticence of won
dering delight, out the boys are apt
to express their feelings in the terms
of the little ,chap who exclaimed: “I'd
much rather it had 'been a parrot.”
“What do you think?” one little boy
asked a playmate. “The doctor’s brought
a baby to our house. Isn't it horrid?”
“Rotten. Can’t you get him to take
it back?”
"No; it’s too late. We’ve used it four j
days.”
A little girl, after relating bow God
had sent lie>r a baby brother, added, as
she thought of the straw laid outside'
the house in order that the mother j
might not be disturbed by the noise of
the traffic, “And it was well packed.”
Another little girl thought It such
a pity that when baby arrived mother
should be poorly in bed. One of my
little patients told his mother after the
arrival of a new brother: "When, doc
tor wasn't looking I shook his bag—
but I didn’t make it cry, mother.”
A bright little chap when shown the
latest arrival, exclaimed:
“Why. father, it’s got no hair!”
"No, it hasn’t grown.”
“And it’s got no teeth.’’
“They haven’t come yet.”
“Can’t it walk?"
“Not yet.”
"But it can talk, can’t it?” .
“No."
"Don t have it, father. It’s a poor one.
You’ve been done.”
The late Bishop Walsham How de
scribed how a 3-year-old boy was
taken to see his new sister.
“Where did it come from?” he asked.
"God sent it to us,’’ his mother an
swered.
"Then 1 suppose ft is a sort of an
angel?”
His mother explained that it was only
a baby.
"Hasn’t it got any wiijgs?" lie asked;
and on being told "No," added. "Hasn’t
it got any feathers at all?”
The sister of a cross, fractious baby
had been told that the screaming- child
j was sent by the angels.
“Well, mother,” she remarked, us the
mother tried in vain to still the baby’s
paroxysms, "you can’t be surprised at
[the angels getting rid of it.”
BILL VINES ON CURRENCY BILL
R.v HIM, VINES
WASHINGTON. .Tulle 22.—(Special.)
Well at last Die much talked of
currency bill is ready for
Introduction lh the House of Rep
resentatives, end even is this enlight
ening little story Is being reai by the lev
ered public, the President himself may he
addressing the assembled House'and Sen
ate and explaining to them the meaning
of real money.
It hud been my purpose as soon as they
got this bill ready for the press to si
multaneously with Its publication write
a very clear and lucid story concerning
11, so that the'uninformed could forthwith
drink at the fountain of knowledge lirst
hand, and no longer wallow in the mire
of Ignorance.
Circumstances over which 1 have no
control will compel me to refrain from
going into any very deiinlte details of the
currency plan, and illustrating its pos
sibilities in my clear, forceful and fluent
style. 1 would like to do so very much,
but, I restrain myself because someone
might accuse me of lobbying for the hill.
Utterances by men of note these days
may be Jcfked up before an Investigating
committee later to Ids embarrassment and
confusion. Therefore, the public will bo
compelled tf> study this bill out without
my aid, or remain In dense and opaque
gloom.
This Is, of course, my principal reason
for not writing a detailed explanation of
the bill—another reason Is that I don't
know anything about It. Ordinarily 1
would not let a little thing like the latter
reason deter me. I frequently write vary
interesting accounts of many things con
cerning which I know nothing; if the
managing editor knows less, as Is fre
quently the ease, It is all right,^and I get
away with it..
However, all the big guys have chewed \
over this bill for the past month and say
that it is all right. President Wilson,
Secretary Me A doc, Chairman Glass and
William J. Bryan have all taken a slant
at it, and each one added a little mite
here and some other ingredient there, and
It is now up to the highbrows on the hill,
and Oscar, who knows many things about
everything—to say nothing of all there Is
about the tariff—will take a squint, and
whatever Oscar decides to do about it will
be done so far as the House is concerned.
Anyway, we can all remember the good
old days when everyone knew all aooui
the currency. It was a long, long time
ago when William J. Bryan first com
menced to run for the presidency. I knew
my currency lesson then, and that’s what
makes me a little suspicious of this bill,
and I advise every one to read It with
great care. I have done so, and In no
place In it, is there a syllable about the
“Free and Unlimited Coinage of Silver at
the Ratio of 16 to 1, With or Without the
Consent of Any Nation on Earth.” There
are no references to “flat” money, or a
“unit basis.” It seems to me that all
these phrases time honored and populo
demoeratlc are the very quintessential
quintessence of currency. Without them
there must be a lingering doubt in our
minds as to the soundness of this leg
islation—somewhere there arises a hint
of predatory wealth and sinister interests
being involved.
There is one redeeming feature about
the bill; provisions have been made for
an “elastic” issue of circulating notes—
properly safeguarded. ThLs word “elus
ti«- sounds lainiliar and we greet it
with 'pleasure. It is one of our old friends.
Webster says lliat “elastic” means having
elasticity, and elasticity means “a prop
erty in bodies by which they restore
themselves to their original forms.” That
is one trouble with our currency. It will
not restore itself to its original form.
One gets his weekly pay, lie starts to sam
ple tlie brand of wild and uncontlued joy
on F street or some other busy thorough
tare, and his weekly dividend shrinks
away in a most alarming manner. Next
morning when lie is full of poignant regret
and soured gin rickeys, his weekly pay
refuses absolutely to restore itself to ils
original form. There is no elasticity
whatsoever. Certainly this is a step in
the right direction, and we cheerfully sub
scribo to this view of the 1)111. However,
we view with some suspicion the
last clause. Wo think it untimely
and irrevelant. Wo believe that the words
“properly safe-guarded” should bo
stricken out, and we will suggest an
amendment to some of our iutlucr.tial
friends in the House.
That ha8 been the greatest drawback
to ouf present system of currency. I am
sure that the great mass—the rank and
the llle—of the common people wdli agr< »
with me, that our currency 1ms been too
well and too properly safe-guarded. This
safe-guarding business has been over
done in tlie past, and the banks of the
country have put entirely too much ex
pression in it. It is reactionary to have
those words in a grogressivc reform bill.
Tt shows a lack of confidence, which 1ms
always been a characteristic of the
American banker and ought not to bo
encouraged. This safe-guarding business
is one fundamental reason why so many
i of us are unfamiliar with our circu
lating medium; how can we know any
tiling ubout the currency when it 1ms
been ho properly "safe-guarded” in (he
past that we cun never iffet In handshak
ing distance of a ten dollar note? It is
one of the crying evils,
What the common people want is an
elastic currency that will restore Itself
lo its original form and some system by
which a little heat can be put into u
banker’s foot. Also it would add greatly
to the circulating powers of our currency
system If a board of arbitration could
be appointed In connection therewith
authorized to settle all differences between
capital and labor in a fair and equitable
manner by splitting the differences in
their views about wages. For Instance,
if the managing editor believed that I
was worth 110 a * week, and I believed
that I was worth *100 a week, this board
of arbitration would settle the whole
question by ordering the managing editor
to pay me just half the difference be
tween us. Nothing could be fairer^han
this and it would Increase the clrrfjlatlon
of currency, which is a thing much
desired.
I am afraid that ^1 have been a Utils
too backward In expressing my views
to th^ President upon this subject, if I
had been alive to the situation 1 might
have succeeded in embodying some of
them in the hill, thereby greatly Im
proving it. However, It might not be
too late, and I will suggest them to
Oscar.
In the meantime’ let us hope for the
best.
HARD TO BE ARTIST’S MODEL
From the Boston Herald.
FOR two or three hours a day James
Montgomery Flagg is an illustrator.
The rest of the day he struggles
with models and would-be models.
Mr. Flagg has suffered long and pa
tiently, but the other day his heart was
full to overflowing. He dipped his pen In
vitriol and drew some very cruel sketches
of the women who are making hi- ,e un
endurable. And as he drew he spoke.
“In a moment of madness,” said Mr.
Flagg as he. double bolted the door and
mopped the perspiration from his brow,
“some artist made the reckless state
ment that a good model Is the rarest thing
in the world. The result is that every
studio is crowded the whole day long with
women who are anxious to prove that
they art the long sought dream of the art
ist. Most of them, however, prove to be
nightmares.
“You cannot keep them away. I have
tried coldness, offense, even insult, but
without avail.
“The trouble with these women is that
not one in 100 is really suitable. If It
weren’t such a painful business to have
these women rob you of your valuable
time it would really be funny. All sorts
and conditions of women find their way in
here.
“There is the skinny, scrawny, scraggy
darning needle, who thinks she has been
sent to you direct from heaven and can
not be convinced that she is not an Ideal
model.
“This type Is usually proof against, re
fusal. She’ll stay in spite of anything you
say to her. You tell her that she Is not
the Vvpe of woman that men like, and
she will reply that she doesn’t care a rap
about that.
“Then there is the ugly and sophisti
cated woman who knows so much more
ftbout art and life than you do. She Is
usually Impertinent to a degree, and goes
away with the impression that she is mod
ern and frank. On one occasion l was
not at home, and Mrs. Flagg received one
of this species. She talked her deaf and
dumb and resisted all of Mrs. Flagg’s
efforts to get rid of her. Finally she asks;
“ ‘Mrs, Flagg, do you do anything?”
“Mrs. Flagg replied that, she did not.
“ ‘Oh/ she said, with great contempt,
‘you are one of those Idle butterflies.’
“Then she read her a lecture on inde
pendence. When I came home she tried
to convince me that she was a wonderful
model. One glance convinced me that she
was impossible, and I told her so frankly.
“ ‘But,’ she remarked, assuming a rav
ishing pose, ‘artists tell me l do euch won
derful things with my thumb!’
“Again, there is the little microbe that
comes floating in through the keyhole. She
is a dainty little wisp of a thing, com
monly seen in the shopping districts or at
matinees. She asks you in a feeble little;,
voice whether she may not have the honor
of posing for you.
“It’s harder to turn her down than any
of the others because she is often really
cute, but she is hardly suitable for artistic
purposes. On the street she may be ir
resistible, but she would make no impres
sion as a heroine in black and white.
“Then there is the type that cannot be
accommodated by the most ample key
hole. One of this species called me up on
the telephone the other day. She informed
me that slit* had a really unusual figure.
I wondered what she meant and askea her
to come to see file. One look was sufli
eUnt to convince me that she hail not. ex
aggerated. tier longitude was negligible,
but her latitude was unmistakable. There
was no getting around that;
1 wonder how some of these women
ever ran make a living by posing, yet they
do. This one of the generous latitude
was just the type 1 wanted for a story l
was Illustrating, and 1 engaged her.
A frequent visitor Is the young girl
w ho has no beauty to recommend her
and is aware of the fart. This type tries
to prove herself desirable by making a
distinctively feminine appeal. She is rare
ly successful, however.
1 was attending an opera at the Metro,
polilan with Julian Street, the poet. Dur
ing one of the intermissions we stepped
out to have a drink. We ordered two
lemonades at a fountain. A young glri
was in attendance. She was remarkably
beautiful, and Just the type I like very
much. She had unusually line hands and
teeth, the importance of which for pur
pose of illustration cannot he exaggerated.
■■I was greatly tempted'to Invite her to
pSse for me. bat ] did not have the cour
age. 1 called the attention of my friend,
Street, to the girl mol told him how I felt,
lie insisted that 1 ask her, and he Anally
persuaded me. I took courage, and, re
questing my comrade to stay outside and
catch my hat and cane as they came dy
ing through too door, I aproached the
young woman.
I his girl was no doubt receiving about
fV or SS a week for her services. She
could earn much more than Hint by posing
and she could he of greater service to her
sedt and to art than by remaining behind
a refreshment counter. I broached the
question very gently and asked her
whether she wouldn’t pose for me.
sue answered ‘..o’ very emphatically.
I asked why, and slm replied, 'I don't
care to. She remained unmoved when 1
tolti her there was a lot of money In
Posing. As .1 spoke to her the oilier girls
ut the counter drew up to us, and I was
getting very much embarrassed, and
tiiuilly I had to beat a very awkward re
treat. ller resistance was so stupid that
I felt like taking her heed and immers
ing it in the lemonade bowl.
'•It's remarkable how many people mis
understand the model's profession. 1 am
sure the young woman was Influenced by
ideas of this sort. Many people cannot
understand that the model's profession is
as honorable as any of the other profes
sions open to women. It is very unfair to
both tin* model and the artist.
"When we do flnrt a beauty who an
swers our purposes she Is usually so pam
pered and spoiled that It. is Impossible to
deal with her. Shu refuses t.<. assume any
pose that requires an effort. Tiiey want
you to give them the easiest poses, and
they art eonstantly asking you to draw
them lying on a couch or reading in a
chair.
“Illustrating us a f profession would
reully be great fun if it weren't — Great.
Guns! Here cutties another one!”
AX OPTIMIST
By; Samuel Minturn Peek.
”1 cannot answer yes,” quoth sle .
As 1 knelt down to sue;
“One heart Is not enough, you see,
For all who eonte to wpo.”
"Alas!" I eriod, "my fate is rough!”
Then flashed u thought profound;
"Still—though you have not "heart#
enough—
I’ve arms to go mound!”