The Birmingham age-herald. [volume], June 28, 1913, Page 4, Image 4

About The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950

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THE AGE-HERALD
12. W. BARRETT.Editor
Entered at the Birmingham, Ala.,
postoffice as second class matter under
act of Congress March 3. 1879.
Dally and Sunday Age-Herald,,.. $S.OO
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bunday Age-Herald. 2.00
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tatives of The Age-Herald in its circula
tion department.
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without its author’s name. Rejected
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not be responsible for money sent
through the mails. Address.
THE AGE-HERALD.
Birmingham. Ala.
Washington bureau, st/7 Hibbs build
ing.
European bureau, 5 Henrietta street.
Covent Garden, London.
Eastern business office. Rooms 48 to
60, inclusive. Tribune building. New
York city; western business office,
Tribune building. Chicago. The S. C.
Beckwith Special Agency, agents for
eign advertising.
TELEPHON’D
Bell exchange connect lag all
departments)* No. 4900.
She Is full of most blessed conditions.
—Othello.
No Dearth of Issues
The Sheffield Standard writes:
The Bniteil States supremo court
decision in the Minnesota rale case
leaves Mr. Comer high and dry
without a "platform.” Mr. Seed lias
appropriated the "prohibition”
Issue and Capt. Reuben F. Kolb
lias a tall hold and a down hill pull
on agricultural legislation. So,
Comer has nothing to run on but
his nerve. We would suggest that
he adopt “War on the Boll Weevil"
as his slogan.
The situation is not as serious,
however, as the Standard indicates. It
will not be necessary for Mr. Comer,
in his effort to attract attention to his
candidacy, to refer to the boll weevil,
or even to the Sumter county tick
which as a result of recent contro
versy, has acquired a fame scarcely
limited by the boundaries of this state.
For it so happens that as soon as one
issue is dead, another rises to take its
place. For instance, the following from
the Florala News:
We hope to Bee all protection re
moved from the buzzard, and in
stead a bounty placed on his car
cass. This carrion bird should be
annihilated, and when it has been
done, the decrease in hog cholera
will be at once noticed. There
should be a very strict law enacted
at the same time, compelling the
burial of the bodies of all dead ani
mals and fowls, as the origin of
hog cholera can be traced to the
hogs which feed on carcasses. The
V” farmers should make investiga
tions along this line—it's worth
while.
In the above is matter worthy of
aerious disputation.
Worth Millions to the State
This high temperature we arc hav
ing is just what the growing cotton
and corn needs. While it is a very hot
spell it is quite endurable for there are
cooling breezes during the day as well
as night.
The hot wave will add millions of
dollars to the wealth of the state. As
for those persons who fret most about
the heat, they would complain if the
mercury were 10 degrees lower than
it is. This matter of compaining is
largely a matter of habit and those of
gs who accept weather conditions as
we find them without murmuring are
all the happier.
The official weather man has been
cautiously forecasting showers—local
showers, they are called; but accord
ing to some of the weather prophets
we will have an electric storm and a
drop of many degrees in the tempera
ture within the next 24 hoars.
In Alabama Coal Fields
There has been marked development
in the coal fields of the Birmingham
district within the past three or four
years and development on a large
scale will continue. The coal operators
of Alabama are highly prosperous and
mining conditions have improved
steadily. The welfare work in this dis
trict has been very noticeable and it
is safe to say that in no part of the
United States are coal miners so well
paid or so well housed, as a rule, as
they are in Alabama. Compared with
the miserable conditions prevailing in
West Virginia the Birmingham district
seems simply ideal.
When the Mine Inspectors’ institute
met here early in the month the prom
inent visitors expressed themselves
strongly in appreciation of the excel
lent conditions they found hereabouts.
“What most impressed me,” said Ar
thur Mitchell, assistant -state mine in
spector of West Virginia, “was the
‘clean house’ proposition in the Bir
mingham district.” President Adams
of the Mine Inspectors' institute of the
United States stressed the admirable
Sanitation that he found in Alabama’s
mining camps. And E. B. Sutton of
the United States bureau of mines
summed up his observations with these
remarks: “cleanliness, comfort, safety
appliances, excellent up-keep of ma
chinery and very systematic arrange
ment and management mean continual
growth and expansion.”
Within 10 years there has been a
natural advance in the selling price
ti good coal property in Alabama, but
prices today are small indeed com
pared with what they will be 10 years
hence. There are not very many large
tracts of coal on the market but dur
ing two or three years large sales
have been made at prices under $50
an acre. In two or three years from
now $100 an acre will look cheap for
all this good Alabama coal land and
; there are men living today who will
see coal property in this state selling
at $250 an acre.
In the meantime, it is encouraging
to know that Alabama's coal business
is so brisk, that its future is so bright
and that labor conditions in the min
ing fields are so satisfactory.
No Breeches for George
John Bull continues to fright with
his austere frown the women of his
kingdom who would do otherwise than
he would have them do.
Ho positively denies the suffra
gettes the right to poll their ballots,
and remains unmoved despite the fact
that one of the gentle bomb tossers,
in a spirit of innocent amusement,
threw herself beneath the iron clad
feet of the charger of the King.
But this is not all. A recent news
item says:
“King George today joined
Queen Mary in her ban on women
riding astride by issuing another
royal decree that no woman rider
shall wear breeches in the pres
ence of the King or Queen.”
The issuance of that royal ukaze
was characteristically English. Noth
ing in the nature of an official pro
test would ever be promulgated in
America should women do or attempt
to do anything—equally as inoffensive
—beneath the sun. In America, where
certain rights are believed to be in
alienable, it is generally held that a
woman should she desire to wear
breeches, may, after proper legisla
tive procedure, wear breeches.
It is coming to a fine point when
women can do only those things which
her great granddame was permitted
by the grace of certain authority to
do. We glory in the spunk of those
girls of Montgomery. As is remem
bered when a certain board of direc
tors of a certain social club issued a
dreadful pronunciamento that within
the walls of the home of the organiza
tion, no turkey trotting should be
trotted, the girls who turkey trotted
stepped quietly aside and organized
a new club along “progressive” lines.
It unfortunately happens, however,
that the women of England, or rather
those of the sex who delight to ride
astride, wear breeches, vote and throw
bombs, cannot select a new king. The
rule of prima genitu grows more and
more oppressive, and the time is al
most ripe for another Magna Charla.
In the meantime, the women will
probably remove the breeches, or hie
themselves -from the presence of the
squeamish King.
President Wilson's Strenuosity
Theodore Roosevelt was a strenuous
President and he took great deiight in
his strenuosity. While he occupied
the executive office the word stren
uous came into every day use. But as
energetic and untiring as Roosevelt
was President Wilson is even more
strenuous. He is making a new high
record for doing things.
With the republic’s rapid growth
the presidency becomes more and more
of a strain on the incumbent. Abra
ham Lincoln was under a severe strain
from the time he entered the White
House in ’61 until he fell by the as
sassin’s bullet in 1865. And Andrew
Johnson, who, as vice president, suc
ceeded Lincoln, had a trying time.
An exceptionally hard working
President was Grover Cleveland. The
administrative duties had very largely
increased when he became the chief
magistrate and had he not been an
uncommonly strong man the “grind”
of the office would have worn him
out. President McKinley, having been
a singularly placid gentleman, showed
less of the strain than some of his
predecessors.
Mr. Wilson has been President
nearly four months and it is reason
able to assume that no one who ever
occupied the executive office worked
as hard in a similar period than he
has done. He has been confronted by
many vexatious problems and he will
be confronted by many more. He has
won the esteem of the public regard
less of whether or not people agree
with his policies and methods. And
it must be a verile and well condi
tioned man indeed who can stand up
under great responsibilities in Wash
ington during the “good old summer
time.” _
When Farming Fails
Congested cities, congested profes
sions and high cost of living are the
three great economic evils today, and
the remedy offered by all those who
have undertaken to study the ques
tion with a view of finding a solution
seems to be universally expressed in
the pharse, “back to the land.”
There is much to be said in favor of
this suggestion, but there are a great
many things that might and ought to
be said to those who are likely to be
influenced by the suggestion, and the
very first would be to ask the question
what do you know about the land?
The probabilities are that there’s
hardly anything about which the
dweller in the city knows less than
he does about land, and for such a
person to give up a business or pro
fession of which he has some knowl
edge to engage in one about which he
knows nothing whatever is almost cer
tain to result in failure.
There are many things essential to
make farming a success, but there are
three absolutely indispensible to make
even a living and they are knowledge,
I capital and good land. Unless a man
has these three elementary requisites
to begin with he will find that farming
is the most laborious and unprofitable
of occupations, and it is usually the
man who has none of them to whom
the farm offers the greatest lure.
There is no reason why so many peo
ple should believe that farming is the
refuge for all those who fail in every
other walk in life, and it is that un
j fortunate belief that leads to much of
the disaster attending the “back to the
land’’ movement.
Instead of trying to persuade the
urban population to evacuate the cities
it would be better to induce the rural
population to remain on the land. Each
fills his part to better advantage to
himself and the nation when he pur
sues the avocation for which he is best
adapted by circumstances and educa
tion, and in these respects the man
from the country is no better qualified
to go into business in the city than is
the city man to take up a farm.
The New York state department of
health proves that bachelors dou't live as
long as married r en. Still, there are
some married men in New York state who
are known to ro a swift gait.
The long faced Individual who starts his
day with breakfast food can still be ob
served in restaurants here and there, but
he hasn't the company or other sawdust
eaters that he used to have.
According to report, an Ohio judge says
that women who apply for marriage li
censes shoul I be required to submit a
sample of their cooking. Do women go
after the license ill Ohio?
Might be pleasant to take a trip with
Count Zeppelin about now in ono of his
airships. The atmosphere is quite cold
when a certain elevation above the earth's
surface is reached.
Meredith Nicholson will not be a minis
ter to Portugal, probably because ho call
keep 111 the good graces of his publisher
by staying at home and grinding out an
other best seller.
A scientist claims to have grown a
crowless rooster. That leaves the jocr
bird with nothing but his strut, provided
he still feels like strutting when he can't
crow.
Well, even If lie is a rascal, the .nan
who tiled to sell Wall street a gold brick
I on behalf of Congress proved himself the
possessor of remarkable nerve.
It is fortunate that all the best po»;ry
ol love and practically all the best ro
mances were written before eugenics be
came a fad.
A sailor's funeral In Carlo, 111., costs
only 50 cents. Still, he bus to go a con
siderable distance from salt water to die
in Cairo.
The British house of parliament aisu
knows how to use the whitewash brush.
And what is more, the whitewash sticks.
A Philadelphia paper complains about
the noise in a certain section of Philadel
phia. Now, wiiat do you think of that?
Ambassador Page will hold the usual
Fourth of July reception In Condon. We
look for something dignilied.
Talk is still cheap and there Is a great
deal of noise, outside of the playhouses
and opera houses, tout is tree.
There Is a brisk business reported in
handbags and suit cases. Where do you
think you will go?
Post cards from the sea shore arc troop
ing In. bringing with them a flavor of the
salt sea gale.
Cast call for Jane brides! There will
probably be a few takers between now
and July 1.
It docs no good to turn the thermometer
to the wall. You can't turn off the heat.
Jl IIII.EE EDITION
Marion County News: The Jubilee edi
tion of the Birmingham Age-Herald was
certainly a peach, u contained 126 pages,
well illustrated, and was a great adver
tisement for Alabama's glowing city.
Roanoke Reader: The Birmingham Age
Herald issued on the 15th a mammoth Il
lustrated volume by way of celebrating
Its 25 years of ilfe. The Age-Herald Is
at all times a well edited, well arranged
paper.
Charleston News and Courier: Twenty
five years ago The Herald of Birmingham
absorbed The Age of that city. The Age
Herald was the result, and last week that
excellent newspaper celebrated its Silver
Jubilee with a mammoth special edition,
exploiting the growth of Its city and the
progress of Its state. The development of
Birmingham for rapidity has never been
duplicated In the south. Fifty years ago
it was not even a name. A quarter of a
century ago it had a population or about
25,000. The establishment of great iron
and steel Industries, In conjunction with
Its coal mines, has given It today a pop
ulation estimated fully ISO.uOO. Built
In a busin, with wealth pouring on every
side from the hills which overhang Its
great Industrial plants and business in
stitutions, it affords every evidence of
prosperity. It Is pleasing to know that
The Age-Herald, under the capable man
agement of Mr. E. \V. Barrett, has shared
In the good fortune of Its community.
Columbiana People's Advocate: The
“Sliver Jubilee" number of the Birming
ham Age-Herald of last week contained
126 pages, the largest edition* ever pub
lished by any newspaper In the state, and
contained a full writeup of Birmingham
and the Birmingham district; the citizens
of Birmingham cannot give enough pruise
to the “Silver Jubilee'' edition. The Ad
vocate congratulates The Age-Herald for
the largest paper ever published in Ala
bama.
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
To Decide I'pou the Hand
The Music Study club committee,
which will have charge of the public
concerts to be given in Capitol park,
will meet today and decide upon the
band to be employed.
"The fund for the park concerts
raised this summer is already larger
than any similar fund in previous
years," said one of the contributors
yesterday. "Having heard Memoli’s
splendid concert at the Jefferson thea
tre early in the spring, I subscribed to
the fund this year thinking that his
band would be engaged for the park
concerts.
"We have had very good open air mu
sic, but the fund will be large enough
this year to have better. We should
have a band of at least 39 or 30. Mr.
Memoll is not only an able musician in
a general way, but while studying in
Italy three years lie was the conductor
of an official band of about 4 5 pieces
and a man to hold such a position in
Europe must be a musician of large
attainments as an interpreter of stan
dard music.”
Immigration or Emigrationf
"Speaker Clark’s interview which he
gave to the public the other day re
garding the large number of American
farmers who are annually going into
Canada and which he says should be
kept at home, it seems is going to
bear fruit, as it has received more
than usual attention from all sections
of the country,” remarked a well known
citizen. "But it was the Alabama Land
congress that had already taken note
of that tide going out of our country
and were making preparations to try
and check it. Some months ago that
organization had taken it up with all
the railroad presidents of roads oper
ating in Alabama and had urged them
to attend the next session of that con
gress to be held in Birmingham in
November for the express purpose of
devising means of turning that tide
into this state.
"This move has been met with the
response of the railroads and the major
portion of them have committed them- ,
selves to attend but now it is for the |
land owners and business men of Ala
bama to join with these and make this
what it should be to this state.
"The land congress has wisely taken
into their councils the various commit
tees of the Birmingham Chamber of
Commerce and has shown them the
great inducements and advantages that
Alabama has to offer for this class
of desirable settlers, but the entire
body can well afford to fall in with
these committees and help make the
movement what it should be to Ala
bama and to Birmingham.
"Facts were brought to the atten
tion of these committees which, if pre
sented to intelligent investors, will im
press them with what Alabama has lo
offer and with the powerful agencies of
the railroads, the same agencies that
are now in use to take these classes
out of the United States, there will be
a much better show* of turning them
toward Alabama.”
In the RuMlneNM World
“Business seems to be generally active,
but I think every business man will be
glad when Congress adjourns,” said W.
H. Skaggs of Chicago.
“Some people think that a change in
party administration tends to keep busi
ness back, but if we have the big crops
this summer that are ‘promised there will
be a great de\l of prosperity in the fall.”
Mr. Skaggs said that he had seen The
Age-Heralds Silver Jubilee edition in
Chicago and that he thought it was a
great piece of newspaper enterprise. “The
Jubilee Edition,” said he, “was full of
interest from cover to cover. 'It was an
exceptionally fine piece of work, I
thought, and I greatly enjoyed reading
it.”
The Pig; Iron Market
“There is a better feeling in pig iron,”
says Matthew Addy & Co., in their report
just issued. “No doubt of it. For two
weeks now prices have remained sta
tionary and there is much to indicate that
the long continued decline In prices has
been checked. Sales have been heavier,
although of course the prices realized
have been unsatisfactory as there is no
profit in them. Prices have reached such
a point as to compel the blowing out of
tun.ace stacks. In Alabama four have
gone out this month. In other sections
ihe same thing has happened and the
June output will be less than that of any
other month so far this year. It does not
hike long when furnace production begins
to decline to get it under the neces
sary consumptive demands of the country,
find this is exactly what the present un
profitable prices will eventually do, and
the much larger current sales of iron
are brought about by the realization of
the buyer that prices are low and that
production is being rapidly lessened.
“Not only are iron masters disturbed
by the low prices quoted today, but they
arc distressed by a growing shortage of
labor. In every section of the country
labor is scarce. There are not enough
mtn in the mining districts to run the
mines full.
“It certainly looks from all indications
that pig iron at today’s quotations would
prove a good purchase.”
How Advertlwlug; Pay*
" ‘The American people like to be swin
dled,’ ” quoted a well known merchant
yesterday. “I believe it was old P. T. Bar
num who said something like that, al
though I guess those are not the exact
words of the noted showman.
“The idea is exemplified, however, In our
every day life as is evidenced by the mod
ern world of advertising. I want to draw
a fine line of distinction, however, and 1
believe that Mr. Barnum really meant the
same thing. I don’t mean that the peo
ple are swindled through advertising, but
Ih^t they are induced by means of adver
tising to buy many tilings which otherwise
they never would have thought of.
“In the same way I believe that Mr.
Barnum did not mean that He swindled
people in Ills show business; he thought
lie gave them value received, and I think
he did, but when he said that he meant
that if it wasn't for (he way he adver
tised not half the people w'ould come to
see his show that did. And it is almost
tlie same way with modern business
houses. Did you ever stop to consider
that a really successful house has some
thing going on all the time? They have a
June sale and a July sale and a white
sale and a black sale and a summer sale
and a winter sale and every other kind
of sale for every day of every week of the
entire year.
"And then through the newspapers they
tell the public of these sales and Hie pub
lic reads and comes and buys. And by
that means the stores grow and prosper,
the newspapers grow and prosper, the
public lives belter and on a higher plane,
J ' -.V ■■ . . tjV'i uj&lLiA
J for after all this advertising is a sort
! of public educational system. People may
j buy more than they would otherwise, but
J they reap ample benefits."
HYGIENE AND HAUNTED HOI SES
From the Journal of the American Medi
cal Association.
It is by no means a new experience to
find the miracles of ancient flays and t'm
mysteries of occult arts fading away In
the light of modern science. The bloody
bread of the middle ages, for example,
with its sinister forebodings and religious
implications, has today become a simple
demonstration . in bacteriology. Unex
pected luminous surfaces appearing in the
absence of any visible source of light are
easily explained by any student of the
biology of phosphrrescence. Even the al
most impenetrable marvels of the active
mind as well as those curious manifesta
tions, like hypnotism, which pass under
the name of psychic phenomena, are yield
ing to the attempts at a rational interpre
tation. Weird visions and strange ghosts
have at length become the expressions of
a disordered mind rather than the visita
tions of an offend <1 deity. And now the
"haunted" house—chronicled in fiction and
actually shunned In real life—has been de
prived of its mystifying wonders and
frightful horrors by the findings of twen
tletli century hygiene.
Dr. Franz Schneider. Jr., of the Massa
chusetts Institute of Technology, has in
vestigated a house in the Back Bay dis
trict of Boston which had acquired the
annoying reputation of being “haunted.’
The experiences which led to the investi
gation were too serious, the symptoms too
real, the reports too often repeated and
reliable to be Overlooked or regarded *»s
mere hallucination.'. The slumbers of the
Inmates in the upper stories wrere dis
turbed by strtrtige sensations, such as
those of oppression or paralysis; they fre
quently continued after the sleeper was
thoroughly awake and even after the
lights had been turned on. The involved
children appeared pale and sluggish in
the morning, even cold water losing Its
power to enliven them.
A careful inspection of the building gave
the key to the situation. The theory of
undetected leaks of illuminating gas as
a source of intoxication could not be ver
ified in tliis case; but it developed that the
gases escaping from a “viciously defec
tive” hot air furnace were sufficient to
cause the trouble. The separation between
the tire box and the hot air ducts (on
which the hygienic integrity of the outfit
depends) was badly broken, and as a re
sult the inhabitants of. the house were
bathed in an atmosphere of diluted flue
gases. The Journal of the American Med
ical Association is confident that this con
dition might be discovered in many other
American homes. Flue gases contain, es
pecially when the combustion is incom
plete, considerable amounts of distinctly
poisonous gases.
The symptoms in Schneider’s ca-es
pointed to carbon monox id as the proba
ble chief offender. Sensations of oppres
sion and other mental disturbances are
typical of acute carbon monoxid poison
ing, as are also loss of psychic powers,
the confused sensations and other fea
tures which explain the sense of oppres
sion that persistently entered into the de
lusions of the inmates of the “haunted”
house. The belief in walking spirits is
easily nourished by persons in whoso
minds real noises would be likely to be
come exaggerated during the intoxication.
The sensations of apparitions Induced by
the breathing,-during sleep, of a tainted
atmosphere are interest to the students
of psychic manifestations. The hot air
furnace, often praised for its ventilating
effect—and with justice when properly op
erated and in perfect condition-may evi
dently become distinct menace to health,
as w'ell as a cause of “ghosts.”
SIR JOHN LUBBOCK
From the KaKnsas City Times.
If you never have happened to come
across a book on “Ants, Bees and Wasps,”
by Sir John T ubbock, you have a treat in
store. The death of Sir John—long ago
buried under the peerage title of Lord
Avebury—racalls this book ami others, the
fruits of an extraordinary life.
Lord Avebury combined the tastes of a
scholar with the qualities of a man of af
.lairs. He w’&s a successful banker, cut
he was just as successful in his observa
tions of the habits of ants and bee and
wasps. In the book just mentioned he
tells a fascinating story of his observa
tions on colonies of insects.
In his “Prehistoric Times” and “Origin
of Civilization” shows the same re
markable powers of observation in his
studies of the shell heaps, the earth
mounds, the caves and lake dwellings of
primitive man. While both these book?
are old—they w-ere written more than 40
years ago—they never have been wholly
superseded, although some of the conclu
sions reached ir. them have been modi lied
by later investigation.
It was a singularly satisfactory life. 11c
was interested In affairs and took a hand
in welfare legislation, lie was interested
in literature and is suspected of having
invented vne first hur.dred-best-book list.
He was interested in earth history and
.science, and became not merely an ama
teur but an authority on the subjects he
took up. He was interested in life is a
whole and “The Pleasures of Life” is one
of his famous books. And he was able to
make a satisfactory living at his business.
Providence was kind to Lord Avebury.
POINTED PARAGRAPHS
From the Chicago News.
Burning kisses may result from sparks.
Never judge a maws knowledge by
what he says.
Paintings can't bo hanged until after
they are executed.
The one perpetual thing about perpet
ual motion is its failure.
Stage struck girls should think twice be
fore they try to act.
Holding a man’s nose to the grindstone
is a poor way to sharpen his wits.
• The quickest way for a fool man t *
acquire chest expansion is to put on a
fancy vest.
A small boy who doesn't get into a scrap
once in awhile has ,v>ade a mistake in not
being bom a girl.
After paying out £15 for a wredding ring,
many a man has been brought to realise
that lie was slung for at least $14.77.
Fonsider In* chorus girls, my son; they,
toil not, neither do they spin; yet Solo
mon in all ids glory was not unarraved
like one of these.
POORLY PAID MAYOR
From the Engineering News.
The meanest man in the world has often
been explained to us, but the meanest job
—or rather the poorest paid position on
record—hails back to “merrie, auld" Scot
land, where the “royal burgli’’ of Kirk
cudbright, Scotland, recently advertised
for a surveyor and master of works, to
devote his whole time to ids position, and
to be paid £80 or $3S9 a year.
It might be thought that a place of
only 2191 population, offering a salary
of less than $400 a year, would not de
mand very much from its surveyor and
master of w'orks. On the contrary, much
is demanded; in fact, the master’s duties
of this little place are quite as numerous
as III a large municipality.
if&’v. ■. v ■><-. :-v W..
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
CONCERNING LIFE.
S' A VS Professor Melklejobn of Am
herst, “Life in Its essence is a
game." He might have expressed
himself more simply and more forcibly
by saying, “Life is a game” and none
would have risen 10 argue against him
in the matter, but the average college
professor, rather, the college professor
who “breaks Into print” frequently,' feels
Impelled to add these erudite touches
which bespeak the academic mind. Life
is indeed a game, a game in which much j
is won and much is lost, and the man
who is fitted to -play the game best is soon
shown by the way he loses. What we
need in life is more “good losers.” When
we consider that In every individual’s ex
perience more is lost than Is won, even
when lie ranks among the favored few.
in ordei* to keep the world sweet and the
lesser wheels within wheels smoothly re
volving it is necessary’ to have plenty ot
hearts that are not imbittered by disap
pointment. There is never a human be
ing born who is not, sooner or later, dis
appointed, sometimes to a very great de
j gree, and if all of us were bard losers,
life would most assuredly be not worth
living. There are two metaphors often
used. One Is that all the world's a stage,
where each one plays his part and then
makes an exit and the other is that life is
a game. And i^ this game of life all of
us, save a few sturdy lighters, take mor*
than we give.
WHEN BROKE.
Dibbs never strikes his wife,
A model to all men;
And that's his rule of life—
Except for five or ten.
IN REAL LIFE.
The “fierce bloodhounds” we read about.
That trail the criminal to his lair,
Oft look as if they'd felt the knout
And have a most dejected air.
WOEFUL TO HEAR.
Jn this valley of sorrows
The saddest refrain
Is the cry of the children,
“Ra's pickled again!”
WHY NOT?
Dreams may come
And dreams may go,
And sweet are the dreams
Of long ago;
But sweeter still,
It seems to me,
Are the dreams of what
Will some day be.
Though life may prove
A thorny track,
And there’s a joy
In looking back,
Before its grief
And tcarsNve knew,
Let future hopes
Gild present rue! j
PAUL COOK. !
WHEN ’ARRY WOOES ’ARRIET
From Answers, London.
WHEN ’Arry’s fancy “lightly turns
to thoughts of love,” he tukcs
himself quite as seriously as any
lordling of the West End in pursuit of
beauty or money bags; only he begins
much earlier, for the youth of slumland
who bus got any way into his teens with
out finding a sweetheart is an object of
pity and ridicule.
And it is difficult to blame him, for
any escape from his squalid borne life Is
welcome. And what escape could be more
alluring than tire flowery path of love?
Besides, 'Airy wauls a home of his
own, and when he wants a home he sees
that he gets it.
Thus, at. 15 or. 1H, we find him putting on
his finest feathers, and strutting in his
plum colored suit and sky blue tie, as
proudly as any old lime beau who twirled
his tasseled stick and ogled beauty
through his eyeglass in the Mall.
What’s more, lie has a keen eye for a
pretty face and a trim figure, and there
is no lack of them to return the chal
lenge of his roving eyes, Uw ’Arriet is
just as eager as himself for an adventure
in love.
She, too, knows the virtues of fine feath
ers better even than himself, and it takes
little money to convert an East End belle
into a very “fine lady,” the envy of many
a court and alley.
A few trial “walks outs” together with
one and another, then ’Arry’s mind Is
quickly made up, and his fate is sealed.
How does he propose? Well, as a matter
of fact, he seldom does propose in actual
words. As a coster’s wife confessed 1<>
the writer, " ’E said, would l come along
o’ him to the theayter, and then it was the
'alls; but It was the freaks as did the
business."
But tlie end is the same, however, and
lie lays ills heart at liis Dinah's feel, lie
is an engaged man before be knows
"where 'e are."
A many gemmed ring, bought for IS
Pence, is Ills gage of troth, and as lie
proudly conducts Ids beloved to file mov
ing picture theatre, circles her with his
arm on the street car, treats her to ginger
beei’ and winkles, or hands her a bunch
of violets to match her eyes, lie is the
happiest youth east or Temple Bar—Just
as 'Arriet Is the most enviable ot' girls.
And now it's "liuste to the wedding."
The bridal trousseau is a simple mutter,
bought for 21 shillings or so of 'Arry's
savings. The wedding gown is usually
hired for the day for 5 shillings more. And
'Arry is equally resplendent in a suit ot
powder blue and a bird's eye neckcloth.
No musty registry office will do for 'Any
and his bride. The parish church only
may be tlie scene of their nuptials, and
the wedding knot will only cust "three
and-a-penny" to tie at St. Leonard's.
There will probably be a dozen or more
other couples wedded on the same day,
but "tlie more, tile merrier!" for 'Arry
is a sociable man.
When the happy day at last arrives
bride and bridegroom pack themselves
into a four wheeler, with as many of their
friends as the vehicle will hold, sardine
fashion, and make their hilarious way to
the altar.
When tlie fateful words are spoken, and
the register lias been signed, the nuptial
party drive off through a deluge of rice
and confetti to tile nearest refreshment
house, where they muke merry over
sausages and tea until evening sends them
happily to their home.
KNIFE FOR THE HUNTER
C. L. (jllmon, In Outing.
Is It well Slid truly shaped for slic
ing bacon? This Is the statement of
tlie liist and Anal test to be applied to
any liardware offered as a hunting
knife; it is also an epitaph. How much
or how little or romance Is buried be
neath this simple inscription depends
upon the temperament of the man who
reads it—and upon tlie age of his heart.
Only too few times ih a lifetime Is it
permitted a man to complete with steel
the work of his ritle; only one in a cen
tury, and to only a chosen few? was it
given to die gloriously with their hacks
against the walls of the Alamo and
their liowles in the throats of their
enemies. But Chicago, Omaha and
South St. Paul are tolling night and day
to provide bacon for tile slicing—lit a
price.
Neither an a weapon nor as a means
of giving bis prey the thrust of mercy
lias the knife any claim to a place on
the belt of the wilderness adventurer.
And right here the knife serves, if one
may borrow some from the book of rites
of the boy scouts, as a ready guldo to'
the three preliminary degrees of wood
inn nslilp.
First, there is the tenderfoot, who
carries a sheath knife of the bowie pat
tern on ills hip ready for cutting the
throat of the buck he expects to find
posing for his ritle and for that hand
to-hand grapple with an infuriated bear
which lurks pleasantly shuddersome In
his Imagination.
Next comes the "second class" scout,
who, having found no fighting or throat
cutting to (lesh Ills maiden steel, makes
pompous parade of his wearing no knife
at all.
Finally, there are a lew who, having
passed and persevered through the two
first stages, may fairly lay claim to the
title of “first class scout," who have a
real use in mind fur the blades which
dangle from the reeling straps of their
breeches. And that use is generally
slicing bacon, with a little skinning and
general whittling on the side. A good
bacon knife will peel the hide from a
muskrat very neatly, and then, after
sundry and searching purifying pro
cesses, go back to slicing bacon.
Careful case keeping on the uses
made of a sheath knife during 12
months of woods living shows the slic
ing of bacon far in the lead, snipping
browse second, and general whittling,
potdto peeling, and skinning trailing
ulong in the order named.
To actually test all of the makes and
models of belt knives the market af
fords would call for more than the al
lotted span of life and u Carnegie pen
sion, Tlio conventional bougie knife of
commerce might be useful, if knll'e
lighting were less unpopular. Hut ita
wedgo shaped blade is too thick for
slicing and skinning and loo soft for
chopping.
THE HUNGRY COLLEGE GIRL
Kate Upson Clark, In Leslie's.
But, here is a fresh little story which
looks as though when this dry rot of debt
gets into the women's colleges, it is not
going to be bundled so gingerly. It seems
there is a purveyor of good things to eat
in the neighborhood of this college, as in
nearly every other. Hungry girls throng
her inviting tables every afternoon and
evening. Hunger, we are told, detlea all
laws. and limits. This Is probably why
certain of the college girls who have never
I
f jfLjjtj - 'i.. ' ... • . ■ . . * l \ . A.',;-,
been denied anything in their lives, ami
who have chanced at times to be short
of cash, proceeded to run up large bills
at "Peggy's" for her alluring Lucullan
delicacies.
When poor Peggy attempted to collect
these bills, the girls would be "out," or
they "positively hadn't a cent to spare,”
or they were "going to have money from
home soon, and would settle then,” ami
they put her off until she was on the
verge of bankruptcy. In tears she con
tided her trials to one of her bright and
cash paying customers.
"I shall have to fall,” she wept. "What
shall I do?”
"Do!” cried the indignant girl, with the
spirit of a feminine St. George. "There is
only one thing to do. Those girls must
be made to pay. Give the whole bunch
to me." Like an avenging angel she act
ually went through the college, and told
tlie careless and heartless (and greedy)
young debtors Just what she thought of
them. The result was that she handed
over to the astounded waffle maker that
evening more than $1000 in cash.
Don’t get into the way of running up
bills, girls. Keep within your income.
THE SOUTH WINS
From Leslie’s.
The south has carried off the prizes in
Congress. The chairmanships of the lead
ing committees of the Senate and of the
House have gone to members from the
south.
Why not? This is 'h democratic admin
istration, and the south has been the
anchor and the hope of the democratic
party ever since the cjose of the war be
tween the states.
More than this, the soutii has given to
the nation some of its greatest presidents,
its ablest statesmen, its deepest thinkers.
No part of the country is richer in nat
ural resources than what we, call “the
south." The greatest future development
of the nation, in a material way, will be
in the southern states. We predict also
that the greatest industrial growth of the
country will be in the south.
Its cotton mills, iron foundries, colliers
and lumber and sugar mills are estab
lished on a busls that 20 years ago would
have been thought to be almost Impos
sible.
For mqre than 25 years the advantages
to our great export trade offered by the
ports on the gulf and on the South At
lantic were loudly proclaimed and went
unheeded, but .today the tldfe of exports Is
running toward the south and establishing
Its supeVb harbors as commercial centers
of the first rank.
TUB HARI.ERUIN OF DREAMS
By Sidney r-aider.
Swift through some trap mine eyes have
never found,
Dim paneled In the painted scenes of
Bleep,
Thou, giunt Harlequin of dreainB, do»t
leap
Upon my sphit"s stage. Then sight and
sound,
Then space and time, then language, mete
and bound.
And all familiar fr.rms, that Hrmly keep
Man's reason In the road, change faceB,
peep
Betwixt the legs and mock the dally
round.
Yet thou canst more than mock; some
times my tears
At midnight breaa through bounden lids
a sign'
Thou hast a heart; and oft thy little
leaven
Of dream taught wisdom works me bet- >
tered years. •
In one nignt, witch, saint, trickster, fool ‘
divine,
I think "thou’rt Jester at the court at
heaven1
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