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The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, July 08, 1913, Image 4

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THE AGE-HERALD
K. W. BARRETT.Editor
Entered at the Birmingham. Ala.,
postoffice as second class matter under
act of Congress March 3, 1ST').
Hally and Sunday Age-Herald.... 38.00
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Subscriptions payable In advance.
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the only authorized traveling represen
tatives of The Age-Herald in Its clrcuia
tion department.
I No communication will be published
without its author’s name. Rejected
manuscript will not be returned unlees
stamps are enclosed for that purposo
Remittances cun be made at current
rate of exchange. The Age-Herald will
not be responsible for money sent
through the malls. Address,
THE AGE-HERALD.
Birmingham. Ala.
Washington bureau, SOT Hibbs build
ing.
European bureau,. 5 Henrietta street.
I Covent Garden. London.
Eastern business office, Rooms 48 to
£0, inclusive. Tribune building. New
York eity; western business office.
Tribune building, Chicago. The S. C.
Beckwith Special Agency, agents for
eign advertising.
TELEPHON'D
Bell (private exchange connecting nil
lepartmeutM), No- 4900.
These new tuners of accents.
— Itoinrn ami Juliet.
A Pittsburg (tank
The suspension of the First-Second
National bank of Pittsburg yesterday
was no surprise, it seems, to business
men conversant with the situation. As
one financier put it, two water-logged
banks had consolidated and there
never was a chance for the hyphenated
institution to pull through. It should
have been closed some time ago.
While all the depositors of the First
Second National of Pittsburg will
be paid in full the suspension brings
to mind and should emphasize the sug
gestion which has been made by
thoughtful bankers, that a fund should
be created by a small tax which would
assure prompt payment to each de
positor of a closed national bank of
60 per cent of the amount on deposit.
This would be a great relief and would
make it comparatively easy for all
depositors to wait for the affairs of
the institution to be would up, when
the balance due depositors would be
available.
The First-Second National of Pitts
burg was a large bank and its closing
will naturally be felt temporarily in
that city. But in a great community
like Pittsburg the effect will soon be
forgot. The suspension of the bank
has no relation whatever to the gen
eral business situation and that being
. so the announcement on the new York
stock exchange yesterday was practi
cally of negligible'interest.
Allies Now Enemies
The peace of Europe is again
about to be seriously imperilled by
the renewal of hostilities among the
Balkan states, as it is more than
likely that each of these states counts
upon the support of some one of the
great powers in case such is needed.
There is a strog suspicion enter
tained in many quarters that the ele
ment of discord was purposely in
troduced among the victorious allies
by certain neighboring nations so as
r to prevent the formation of a new and
powerful combination of Slavic races.
The allies won the sympathy of the
Christian world in their glorious fight
to secure their civil and religious lib
erty, but that sympathy will soon dis
appear and most likely turn to dis
gust at the sight of such folly as their
present action exhibits.
The conduct of the allies and the
result of the war showed that, there
■was glory enough for all, but there
wasn’t half enough spoils. That seems
to be the bone of contention over
which they are now about to rend and
tear each other while their old and
common enemy quietly looks on and
bides his time when he may again re
cover all his losses. That he is secret
ly preparing to do so is currently re
ported but the allies are too busy cut
ting each other’s throats to take
notice of Turkey’s reorganization of
her army.
The one redeeming feature in this
internecine war is the probability
thd it will not last long as these peo
ple fight with a wholehearted earn
estness that makes prolongation im
possible. A month or two will decide
, the question between them and by
that time the victor will be an easy
capture for whatever sultan may hap
pen to wear his head upon his should
1 ars. _
As to Weather Signs
Certain familiar signs observed in
the sky are said never to fail. A red
sky in the morning brings storm and
rain. A red sky at night is followed
the next day by fair weather.
The red sky sign was known to the
ancients and was regarded by them
' as absolutely sure. Christ, in one of
Hie impressive lessons, referred to
the red sky in the morning and the
rad sky at night as being signs famil
iar to the people. Everybody, old and
young, knows the jingle, “Red in the
morning is a sailor’s warning; red at
H night is a sailor’s delight." But while
^ } the red sky signs have been depended
V qpon as if they were explainable by
meteorological science they do fail
sometimes. In fact, nothing seems
truer than that all signs fail in dry
weather.
The sky was red—fiery red—Sun
day morning. People who pay atten
tion to weather signs were careful to
provide themselves with umbrellas in
the afternoon, thinking there would
be a thunderstorm. But the evening
was clear with nothing that indicated
a disturbance of the elements. *There
was no cooling change in the temper
ature until Monday’s strong breezes
came.
Many persons who have been pin
ning their faith to the red sky sign
will begin at last to grow skeptical as
to what the old goosebone prophets
as well as the general public set
store by.
Something of Politics
Strenuous efforts have been made
by the leaders of the republican fac
tions to get the two wings of the
party to again unite against their
common enemy—the democrats. Even
Mr. Munsey, one of the strongest and
bitterest in his denunciations of the
old guard, advocates union. Yet Mr.
Roosevelt, who was the entering
wedge which split the party, stands
aloof. He will not compromise with
Ihose who he firmly believes kept him
out of the White House and defeated
his ambitions for a third term.
If Mr. Roosevelt remains in his
present frame of mind, it is quite
likely that there will be no reunion
of the two factions of the old repub
lican party. The only way they can
get together is for the remnants of
the old party to rally round the
Roosevelt standard and turn progres
sives. But even if this were done, the
only way that the democrats can be
defeated four years from now must be
brought about by themselves.
If President Wilson’s administra
tion is a success; if the country pros
pers after the passage of the Under
wood bill, and the party in power
holds its forces in check, and refuses
to allow the various committees which
have in charge the appropriation of
the public funds to run into reckftss
extravagance, there will be no doubt
that the people of the country will
decide to retain the democratic party
in power, and will continue it in pow
er so long as it will discharge its duty
to the public with care and prudence.
Without question there will be mis
takes; but the people will not call the
party to account for mistakes, unless
they be fundamental and in such
number that they will prove clearly
that the party is totally incompetent
and unworthy of its trust.
The greatest danger which threat
ens the hold of the democratic party
on the government now is, undoubted
ly, the tendency toward heavy and
reckless appropriations. It is also one
of the hardest problems to solve. The
party attempted its solution by the
effort of the leaders to have ap
pointed a budget committee. There
are some reasonable objections to
such a committee, the principle one
being that it places a great power
in the hands of a few men. At the
same time if appropriations are left
to a large number of committees as
is the case now, it is next to impossi
ble to eliminate extravagance.
This is one of the problems still left
unsolved and which must be worked
out. Extravagance was a great factor
in the defeat of the republicans. The
democrats must avoid it, and it is up
to the leaders to devise some means
of doing so.
Activity in Birmingham
Birmingham and the Birmingham
district present scenes of steady prog
ress and healthy business activity.
Building operations were, exceptionally
brisk the first half of the year and
will continue brisk throughout the
second half. There is a vast deal of
large construction work under way
in the eity and district.
The magnificent Tutwiler hotel,
which represents an investment of
$1,250,000, is being rushed to comple
tion. Model apartment houses, large
mercantile buildings and countless
residences are being erected here at
this time. At Fairfield $800,000 is be
ing expended on the $3,500,000 wire
mill to put it in operating order.
Scores of houses are being built in
the moi^el town of Fairfield for the
skilled workmen that will be employed
at the great mill and other plants sub
sidiary to the Steel corporation.
There is scarcely a mining town in
the district where betterment work on
a large scale is not being done. Within
the past 12 months millions of dollars
hjive been expended on improvements
in the Birmingham industrial field and
large expenditures will be made with
in the next 12 months.
Another noteworthy fact about Bir
mingham as a business center at this
timers that its pay rolls keep right
up to the top notch. Certain it is that
never in the history of this city was
the business situation so roseate as it
is today.
A stage lady who extracted the sum or
1250,000 from t-. peer is now In a position to
join the crowd who believe in art for art’s
sake.
Mat tea wan, N. Y., has lost its identity
by Joining another village, but the status
ol' llarry Thaw remains about the same.
A Birmingham newspaper man rode up
on a piece of steel to the top of a building
300 feet high. In Justice to the city editor,
it should be stated that tile aerial part of
his assignment was optional.
A nail company is marketing its lath
nails in sanltaty paper lined kegs, so lath
ers can hold nails in thefr mouths without
contracting d,sease. We are getting more
sanitary every day.
A Philadelphia woman started on
a hunger strike, but was induced to
change lier mind by a dish of ice cream.
Still, Ice cream isn’t what you would call
filling.
An archdeacon climbed to the top of
Mount McKinley and nobody doubts his
word. However, people don't have to taka
ills word, lie took along witnesses.—
A revival of interest" in penmanship is
reported from Wisconsin. We hope the
revival won't fly oil at a tangent and re
sult in a fresh crop of forgers.
Now that a White House wedding is as
sured, the feminine part of the United
States feels that a great burden of un
certainty >fias been lifted.
"Blessings on the man who Invented the
summer vacation!” says the Chicago
Tribune. But darn the fellow who put up
the price!
The new split skirt that reveals the
wearer’s leg aB far bh the knee every time
she takes a step would bring modesty to a
standstill.
Harrison Fisher praises the "middy
blouse” as a summer garb for girls. Fish
er is a subtle flatterer, even in his pic
tures.
A New Jersey pastor ate 32 pancakes at
or* sitting. He must have been waiting
a long time for an opportunity to eat.
Uncle Sam began a new fiscal year July
1 with a surplus which will probably keep
him out of the poor house.
A New Yark^man was sentenced to 15 ]
years in prison for bigamy. He could have |
saved by going to Reno.
The first "dry” Sunday in the history of
Washington probably found most of the;
faithful “prepared.”
__
The Berlin Medical society has decided
against Dr. Friedmann. It seems to be
unanimous.
A Boston doctor says soap is not clean.
Well, what’s his substitute?
TWO FAMOUS MEN
From the St. Louis Times.
Right thinking people everwhere will
regret that publicity has been given the
fact that Col. Theodore Roosevelt has1
been given a permit in New York to
carry a pistol.
It is easy to complain of the tilings
that the former President does, because
he has manifested something little
short of genius in cerating resentment
in the public mind against many of his
headstrong, not to say brutal, ways. But
it is far easier to make a point in ffitvor
of the sane practice of refusing to car
ry a •gun.”
There are good people in every com
munity who are simply bewildered by
that law’ in human nature which
prompts men to carry death-dealing
weapons with them. It is shockingly
clear that most of the tragedies which
occur are a result of the lax habit of
carrying arms. "I drew my gun” is a
phrase that occurs in every murder
trial—as if a gun were part of a gen
tleman’s personal equipment, and as if
decent sentiment and law as well did
not prohibit the practice of carrying |
guns.
A man who i^ still named as a proper I
"model” for so many American boys |
and young men might easily have been '
heard from in a more becoming light
tha nas a man specially permitted to
carry arinB|
We prefer to think of that type of
men represented by Judge Massie of
Virginia, wild forfeited his life during
the trial of the Allens, lawless moun
taineers.
The judge was warned that the Allens
were likejy to precipitate a riot, and
lie was advised to arm himself against
possible danger.
His response was that rather than
manifest a fear of lawless men, and
rather than believe that a gentleman
need carry arms in the carrying out of
any duty, he would present himself un
armed when his court convened.
Ho he did, and died. But the world
wdll remember him, not as a foolisli
man, but us a gentleman who knew'
what the very essence of dignity is.
AUTHOR OF "ROBINSON CRUSOE”
Edith Wyatt, In the July Issue of The
North American Review.
One afternoon before I had ever read
anything of De Foe's but “Robinson
Crusoe,'’ I chanced to see quoted in a
book some one had left lying open on a
library table these words of his:
“He that hath truth on his side Is a
food as well as a coward if he Is afraid
to own It because of the multitude of
other men's opinions. 'Tls hard for a
man to say all the world is mistaken but
himself. But If it be so who can help
it?”
What makes style? It was as though
the voice of Daniel De Foe spoke from
the book, as actually as the voice of my
friend who now came In ready for walk
ing. And when this chance word led me
to read De Foe and his biography, these
were the story of a man who would have
thought himself a fool not to own the
truth he knew.
He could own it by following the cause
of the Duke of Monmouth through Sedgo
moor and the Bloody Circuit: and in the
"Essay on Projects ": and In the defiance
of Parliament, in the I.eglon Better; ha
could own It by being pilloried for jus
tice to Dissenters and Churchmen alike:
and by masquerading as a Jacobite to
mitigate the excesses of the Tory proas:
and by telling in many forms of Action
that true story which was after all the
history ofhls own life and will be the
history of ours—the story of the soul of
man In the midst of an unknown wil
derness.
When Friday cuts his father's bonds,
and Moll Flanders sleeps on the deck
planks of the transport, you breathe with
them the wide air of the stories of peo
ples. You are a part of the inarch of
events; of the state of civilisation and of
the responsible world of ben
Besides this fine pleasure, you feel with
Crusoe and oOlonel Jack and with Rox
ana too a quick pride In t'he human fac
ulty of moving toward the light. This
peculiar tone of bright and merciful cu
riosity and clear-thinking Ingenuity
throughout De Foe's work Is Indescrib
ably beautiful and Imparts a crystal
splendor to all his life's labors.
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Strictly High (lnav
“The Tutwiler Hotel company is most
fortunate indeed in securing as lease33
for Its magnificent building, the United
Hotels company, of which Frank A. Dud
ley of Niagara Falls is president, and
Freedrlck W. Rockwell of Albany is gen
eral manager,” said M. Webb Offutt, as
sistant general manager of the Alabanm
Power company.
“I know both Mr. Dudley and Mr. Rock
well. They are excellent men and under
stand the hotel business from beginning
to end. I have stopped at several of
their hotels—the Ten Eyck at Albany and
their hotels In Rochester, Syracuse and
Waterbury, Conn. Each of those hotels
is as large as the Tutwiler and one could
not imagine more elegant hoetelries fhan
the United Hotels company conducts.
“Tt is safe to say that if the whole coun
try had been searched no such satisfac
tory lessees could have been found. The
Tutwiler will be up in the class with the
finest hotels in the world.”
Bountiful Crops
“Last year was a great crop year, and
so will this year be from present indi
cations,” said N. L. Woodford of Chicago.
“If there is a lull in some lines of
business now there will be great activity
as fall approaches and as the bumper
grain crops are being marketed.
“I understand the south’s crop outlook
is remarkably bright. The south is at
tracting attention as never before as a
section of solid prosperity and as a par
ticularly inviting field to homeseekers. I
don’t know whether there has been much
increase in Alabama’s population from
truck farmers from the north, but if an
organized effort is made to induce this
desirable class to settle in this state It
will mean much. Several thousand in
dustrious families should be Induced to
buy farms in Alabama. If such a move
ment is pushed there Will be wonderful
results within five years.”
An Animating Scene
"That the 'spirit, of '76' is finding a
more dignified expression from year to
year was well illustrated last Friday in
tiie celebration of the Boy Scouts of
America,'' said a prominent business man.
"These many little fellows, full of pa
triotic sentiment, were gathered together
in bands of 25 or 60 in accordance with
the teaching of their manual to do honor
to their country’s best traditions, and.
throughout the land they exerted a leav
ening influence in favor of a quiet, rev
erential regard for the rights of others
and a more orderly and less dangerous
form of amusement than the promiscuous
use of fireworks. A scene that could
have but inspired the heart of any on
looker was that which took place at noon
on top of Red mountain. There on the
highest point overlooking the city on the
north and the beautiful Shades valley
on the south, some 40 of these gallant
little fellows with their scoutmasters
and a few friends, met to listen to a very
helpful and instructive talk from Mr. Bor
den Burr, one of Birmingham's best citi
zens.
"The intense interest and perfect atten
tion displayed by his hearers was an In
spiration to Mr. Burr for an address that
was full of good thoughts and high Ideals
well worth listening to. There was also
a talk from one of the boys on the sub
ject of proper reverence for the flag and
national airs, which are among the things
that the whole country can receive In
struction upon with Infinite profit.
"All in all. these signs point unmistak
ably to better things tn the country's fu
ture when the boys are studying subjects
like these instead of burning their fingers
and losing their eyes by the undue waste
of gunpowder.”
Seasonable Weather
"This hot wave, while It has been un
comfortable to man and beast, has been
good for tiie crops and good for the
merchants who sell dry goods and
clothing,” said a member of the Cham
ber of Commerce.
“Nothing helps the retail trade as
much as seasonable weather and the
merchants welcome an early and a warm
spring, a hot summer, a cool fall and a
cold winter.
"The summer is fast slipping away,
and 1 will make a guess that when
August comes we will have bright, pleas
ant days and nights cools enough for a
light blanket."
Hot Weather In the North
''Birmingham, as hot as it lias been
recently, is pleasant, compared with
New York and Chicago," said a man
who spent last week in the east. "I
never suffered as much in my life from
the heat as 1 did in New York and a
Chicago friend tells me that the heat
wus uncommonly oppressive in his city.
"The record of heat prostrations has
been very large, but I have heard of no
prostrations In Birmingham. All in all,
I think we have about the best climate in
this country."
Schubert's Modesty
"Sir George Grove once wrote that
Schubert was the only modest musician
that ever lived," says Henry T. Fink in
the New York Evening Post, "While
tills is not strictly true, it cannot be
denied, that Schubert (like Greig in our
generation) would have got along better
had he been more Inclined to at least
‘admit’ his superlative genius without
trying to prove it.
"At a recent auction sale in Berlin,
one of the most coveted articles was a
letter from Schubert to his brother, Fer
dinand, delating to Ills quartets. Today
it is admitted by all competent judges
that the Schubert quartets are in the
very front line of chamber music, unsur
passed by any one. But here is what
Schubert wrote when he heard that his
quartets were being produced by Ferdi
nand:
" 'It would be better for you to give
your attention to oilier quartets than
mine, for they are of no value, except in
so far us they indy please you, who like
everything I have written.'
"For this letter the Berlin auctioneer
got 1500 marks, or nearly 1400, which is
probably more than Schubert got for
all the chamber music he ever composed
—and he was most prolific.”
NERO'S DINING ROOM
London Correspondence Philadelphia
Ledger.
The celebrated Italian archaeologist,
Commemlalore Boni, the excNyator of
the Roman Forum, Iiuh been visiting
London, and, to a large audience of
classical students at King’s college, he
guve a lecture on "The Houses of the
Republican Period Now Discovered Un
der the Palaco of Dorottian."
One of the most Interesting state
ments made by Signor Bonl was that
he had discovered traces of the original
dining room of Nero, which could be
revolved by machinery. In his search
for the machine room he had discov
ered three vertical shafts, down one
of which lie went 120 feet without
reaching the bottom. Near one of the
vertical shafts, however, he found a
tank and 20 feet below this was a
chamber 20 feet wide by 60 feet long,
with stones serrated like cog wheels
on a horizontal bed. This he took to be
the engine room of Nero and bis pre
decessors. Under the dining room, again
lie found a bath, with a variety of
rooms for different treatments, the
walls being richly decorated with va
rious pictures.
The excavations, which were under
taken last season and are still being
carried on, are being condueted on a
site on the Palatine hill, which, from
Its Important and conspicuous position,
must have been the site said the lec
turer, of the houses of r. great pa
trician families. Several highly im
portant discoveries had been made. A
study of the Palace of Domitian had
resulted, said Commendatore Bonl, in
the discovery of part of a circular
drain of the time of Nero. A staircase
vvae found leading to a series of five
chambers, separated by arched door
waj's, in which salt water fish were
preserved and segregated according to
their size and quality. He took this to
be a Neorian conduction. A cylindrical
wall of the time of Nero^ which cut
right through an underground house,
was also found. The vaults of this
house had a number of frescoes on the
walls, which still retained the beau
tiful purple of the murex, and w'ere
decorated with little brackets which
might have supported lamps.
One of the most remarkable discov
eries under the Palace of Domitian
was the original frescoes, rather badly
damaged, one showing the landing of
Helen at Troy. In the basement, too,
were found the remains of the imperial
throne. When the lecturer descended a
hole In the center of the atrium of the
palace he foun,*! galleries beautifully
plastered, not with Roman material and
bohes of animals, pottery, a magnificent
figure of a lion modeled in clay, and
one in terra cotta, and the head of a
camel, which must have dated from
the second century B. C.
IDLING IN SI MtlKn
From Dream Life, by Donald G. Mitchell.
I thank heaven every summer's day of
my life that try lot was humbly cast with
in tho hearing of romping brooks and be
neath the shadow of oaks. And from all
the tramp and bustle of the world, Into
which fortune has led me In these latter
years of my life. I delight to steal away
for days und for weeks together, and
bathe my spirit in the freedom of the old
woods and to grow young again, lying
upon the brookslde and counting the whits
clouds that sail along the sky, softly and
tranquilly—even ns holy memories go
stealing over the vault of life. * • • I
like to steep my soul in a sea of quiet,
with nothing floating past me as I lie
moored to my thought, but the perfume
of flowers and soaring birds, and shadows
of clouds.
Two days since I was sweltering In the
heat of the city. Jostled by the thousand
eager workers and panting under the
shadow of the walls, tent I have stolen
away, and for two hours of healthful re
growth Into the darling past, I have been
lying, this blessed summer's morning,
upon the grassy stream that babbled me
to sleep In boyhood. Dear, old stream,
unchanging, unfaltering—with no harsher
notes now than then—never growing old
smiling In your silver rustle, and calming
yourself In the broad, placid pools—I love
you, as I love a friend.
FACTS ABOUT URTTYSBl'HG
From the Kansas City Times.
One hundred and sixty thousand men
took part in the battle.
Forty-three thousand soldiers were
killed, wounded or captured.
, Lee’s army numbered more than 70,000
troops. .
Approximately 90,MD men fought under
Meade's command.
The confederate losses were about -0 >
000, while the union army lost 23,000 men.
The battle began at daybreak on July 1,
1803 and lasted three days.
The commanders of both armies, it has
been stated, dissatisfied with the .outcome
of the great battle, tendered their resigna
tions when the fighting had ended.
Gettysburg is ranked as one of the great
decisive battles of the world. *
Pickett's charge on Cemetery Ridge Is
called the high tide mark of the civil war,
Longstreet, Pickett’s commander, op
posed Lee's order for the charge, and ri
fused to give a verbal command. White
faced at the thought of what was to come,
the famous division commander merely
nodded Ills head when Maj. Gen. George
E. Pickett galloped up for.the order that
sent his gallant nun on a heric dash
against death more reckless than the fa
mous "charge of Ihe Light Brigade."
STREET RAILWAY UTOPIA
From the Detroit X Imes. #
Charles Wright, former alderman from
the second ward, has returned frOni a trip
around the world-, and has some interest
ing data on the municipal operation of
the street railway system in Sydney, Aus
tralia
Mr. Wright says that Detroit and Syd
ney are almost Identical in size, and that
both Ire very prosperous. In Sydney it
is possible to ride to almost any part of
tiie city for a 2 cent fare, 4 cents being the
maximum fare.
"The oars are run on a regular schedule,
much better than ours, even during the
rush hours; are clean, -well ventilated,
and every passenger has a seat," said Mr.
Wright. "I was in Sydney for several
weeks and the operation of the system so
pleased me that I investigated to see if I
could learn anything that would be of ad
vantage to Dftroit. I learned that the sys
tem, which has been under municipal op
eration for JO years, is making money for
the city of Sydney. The people there are
delighted with the service, and while
there I never heard a single complaint.
On only one or two occasions during the
rush hour did I see people standing in
the car*. A receipt is given for every fare
paid."
HER SYSTEM OK ACCOUNTS
From an Exchange.
A young Philadelphian who had decided
that his somewhat extravagant spouse
ought to keep an account of her expendi
tures came to her one day with a neat ac
count book, prettily bound.
"Now, Suzanne,' said he. "I want you
to put down on this side of the book the
money I give you lor the household ex
penses, and on the other a statement of
hosfr- it goes. In a couple of weeks I’ll
give you another supply of money.”
Susanne took the book and promised to
follow instructions.
Two weeks later hubby called for the
book.
"Oh, I've kept it all right," said Su
zanne. "Here It is."
On one page was written: "Received
from Dick iifiO,” ana on the opposite was
this comprehensive statement: "Spent it
all."
FAME AWAITS HIM
From the Louisville Courier-Journal.
A Cincinnati man says he has Invented
a means of making beer at home for 1
■lent a glass. He will be declared the
father of Us city.
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
LOVE'S COMFORTING.
O little lad and little lass,
How merrily you trip together.
But childhood's happy days will pass—
Life won’t always be sunny weather.
And when the dark days come, my
dears.
And fortune’s minions all desert you.
If love remains to dry your tears,
The bitter barbs of fate won't hurt
, you.
OUTBLOWN.
“I have often wanted to see Mrs.
Jabberson walking In the tqfth of a
gale that was blowing great gutis.”
"What on earth do you want to see
her doing that for?”
"I don't believe she could talk then.”
OF THE SAME MIND.
"Young man, I don’t ever want to
catch you kissing my* daughter again.”
"I am sure, sir, you could not wish
that any more fervently than, I do.”
A HIGH NOTE, PROBABLY.
"Don't you think the tenor sinks
with a great deal of feeling?”
"Yes. He seems to he feeling for
something he can't reach.”
A PATRIOTIC CITIZEN.
He may confess the days are warm.
But he's as stubborn as a mule
And what is more, may do you harm
If you dare say the nights aren't
cool.
MISLED BY RAGTIME.
"The band is going to play our na
tional air," remarked the host to the
distinguished ftrelgn visitor. "Of
[course you have heard it.”
"Er—yes.” answered the distin
guished foreign visitor. ”1 don't re
member exactly how the music goes,
but the words, I believe, are to the
effect that somebody or other is wail
ing for a steamboat."
SARTORIAL MATTERS.
• A quiet man
Was Abner Box;
He never did
, Wear purple sox.
—Birmingham Age-Herald.
A peaceful man
Was Silas Rye;
He never wore
A bright red tie.
—Cincinnati Enquirer
An unassuming
Man was Blatz;
He never would wear
Pearl gray spats.
—Houston Post.
A stylish man
Was Thomas Bowser;
He always wore
A peg-leg trouser.
—Hutchinson Gazette.
A neglected man
Was Father Adam;
He'd have worn them all
l If he’d only had ’em.
—Plhgton,. Kan., News.
BOUND TO GET HIS MONETS
WORTH.
"Titewa.d says his face Is always
sore.”
“Well, why doesn’t he tell his bar
ber not to shave him close?”
“He says a light shave isn’t worth
15 cents."
PAUL COOK.
WOMEN AND TROUSERS
From the Philadelphia Ledger.
ALMOST every day there is a declar
ation from some advanced person
that women will soon be wearing
trousers. One who claims to speak with
authority says the plans and specifications
of the new garments are already made,
and that the plunge will take place with
in a year. We are told by these ladies
that fashions have been tending to the
change for several seasons. The hobble
and the slit skirt and otner marvelous ex
hibits are cited as approaches to the goal.
Queen Christina of Sweden wore male
attire, and Dr. Mary Walker has long
been proud of her trousers. The history
of clothes is always Interesting, and trous
ers afford an excellent example of evolu
tion from the ornate to the practical. Tho
pantaloons introduced by the Venetians
were hose combining breeches and stock
ings in one garment. In the regency of
I George IV the breeches fitted the body
from the waist down below the calves of
the legs and there were fastened with but
tons or ribbons, and later by straps run
ning under the4 boots. The aerlous men
who met in this town in 1776 and pro
claimed the Declaration of Independence
showed great care and considerable va
riety In their breeches, and if they were
to purade Chestnut street today they
would Attract as big a crowd as a circus
procession.
“But the old three-cornered hat,
And the breecbe*: and all thaU
Are so que_i:\
A garment for men extending on each
leg separately to or just belOw the knee
is the accepted definition of breeches, la
most cases this garment is not handsome;
It is hard to keep in shape and it bags
horribly. Man has conquered the sea and
the earth, harnessed the lightning, count
ed the stars and hitched the forces of na
ture to his mills and his wagons, but in the
matter of breeches his only progress is in
two hip pockets, which he seldom uses.
With all his inventive genius he cannot
find a crease that will stay put, and with
all his growing billions he cannot buy or
invent a substitute that will be an im
provement.
It is inconceivable that women will want
to subject themselves to the tyranny of
this garment. It is not graceful; it will
not allow them opportunities for new
styles, and it will rob them of the inde
finable charm that goes with their own
distinctive dress. Of course, almost any
thing would be better than some of kite
present fashions, but why not refoim
them? Or why not bear the ills they have
than fly to others they know not of? Man
was in hard luck when fate'put him in
trousers, but he deserved his punishment*
Bo it would seem Jo be better for the lade a
to punish him further by leaving him to
his doom,
FESTIVITIES AMONG PAPUANS
From lhe Wide World Magazine.
Festive seasons are few and far between
among the Papuans. Poor creatures!
They have little time to spare for amuse
ment, their thoughts being entirely direct
ed toward the supply of sufficient food.
This statement refers more particularly to
the women, who are the workers and!
chief food collators, the men varying
their time between occasional hunting
trips and lolling about in blissful idleness
on the sands opposite the village. The
papuaa male evidently haS a rooted dis
like for work and Ideas of his own as to
the duties of wives.
In the month of May the principal fes
tival of the year takes place—closely con
nected, as might be expected, with the
all important question of food. Pigs are
not bred in the villages, but are run down
in the jungle when very young and then
brought up amongst the people, subsist
ing precariously on the miscellaneous
debris discarded by their human com
panions.
The slaughter of these pigs Is made the
occasion for a dance and general Jollifi
cation. On one occasion for several days
friends from Hi a neighboring villages had
been collecting at Parimau, straining the
house accommodation to the utmost and ]
l causing intense excitement. On the night I
previous to the day of days a great dance
took place, entirely on the part of the
women, for the men—noble creatures!—
never demean themselves by Joining in
such frivolities. The dancing takes the
form of a curious shuffling of the feet
and much undulation of the body. The
greater the movement of the latter, com
bined with the least action of the legs,
the nearer is the artiste to perfection,
according to Papuan standard.
SMOKING MADE HARMLESS
From Answers.
Nicotine Is the poison that lurks In to
bacco, and many have been the efforts and
experiments to do away with this harm
ful feature in “the pipe that cheers"
It has been found with different methods
that when the nicotine has been extracted
the tobacco was quite tasteless; but deal
ers and manufacturers have now reached
their end by the Simplest of processes -
soaking the nicotine out of the tobacco.
This is the method. Soak the tobacco
In fresh, pure water in an earthen dish
for about an hour, then remove the to
bacco and dry it out of doors.
Chemical analysis of the water in which
the tobacco has been soaked shows that a
very large percentage of the nicotine lias
been dissolved. This solution, incidentally,
is a useful poison to kill Insects on green
house and other plants.
Tobacco thus treated loses its aroma to
some extent; but the smoker soon acquires
a liking for the purity of the blend, and
saves In health anil pocket by buying to
bacco in natural leaf form from the
wholesalers, soaking carefully for several
hours, and drying slowly on paper.
' THE pilgrim OF GUADALUPE
From the July Wide World Magaxlne.
The chapel of La Santlslma Virgin de
Guadalupe Hidalgo stands on a hill, the
hill on which she firBt. appeared to a hum
blo Mexican shepherd, six miles from the
heart of Mexico City, overlooking the or
dinarily small village of Guadalupe Hi
dalgo, where was signed, more than half
a century ago, the treaty which ended the
war between Mexico and the United
States.
The pilgrimage of these Indians—for this
is purely an Indian fiesta—culminates on
December 12 of each year, the dag which
has been dedicated to the special worship
of the Mexican virgin. Owing to the long
distances over which many of tho pilgrims
are compelled to make their way on foot,
the start from gemote sections of Mexico
in made about the middle of August, and
as these most distant pilgrims pass
through the villages and towns on their
way to Guadalupe, they gather tho faith
ful from the settlements en route.
Lest any of these should miss the cere
monies, the celebration lasts a full week,
terminating on December 15, and com
mencing, In a small way. about Decem
ber g or 9. Then the first of the horde
of worshippers straggles in; incessant but
happy ringing of the bells In the ciiapei
and the cathedral at Guadalupe begins
while candles are burned Incessantly ami
prayers offered every hour, day and night,
for the ensuing week.
A mow AT DUELING
From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Henri: "M'steur, we inns' fight—we mus’
fight to ze death!”
Bertrand: "M’sleur, 1 am altogezzair
at your Service, My fr-r-rtend, ze mar
quis, weel wait upon you wl*out. delay.”
Henri: "M'sleur, you are a br-r-r-rave
man. 1 salute you tviz ze hat off ze head.
But before 1 accept ze ubligatlone to
seper-r-rate you from ze earthly inter-r
rests, let us consideraire.”
Bertrand: "Consider what, M’sleur? Ze
weapones? Ze field of lioimalre?”
Henri: "No, no, M'sleur. Let us con
sider ze painful fact zat we can no more
hope to r-r-recelve ze pleasant r-raference
In ze journal of ze day. Alas, M'sleur,
ze law—ze accursed law—weel permit no
more duels to be mention In ze columns
of zc downtrodden press!"
Berl rand, inexpressibly shocked:
"Name of a name* Zen why should we
fight?"
Henri, mournfully: "Ah, why indeed,
my poor friend?"
Bertrand, tenderly: "Absinthe, M’sleur’/"
Henri, briskly: "Oul. M’sleur.”
They exit gayly arm in arm.
THE GOD OK WAR
By Israel Zangwlll.
"To safeguard peace we must prepare
for war"—
I know that maxim; it was forged in
hell.
This wealth of ships and guns In
flames the vulgar
And makes the very war It guards
against.
The God of AVar Is now a man of busi
ness.
With vested Interests.
So much sunk capital, such countless
callings,
The Army, Navy, Medicine, the
Churoh—
To blesH and bury—Music, Engineering,
Redtape Departments, Commissariats,
Stores. Transports, Ammunition, Coal
ing stations.
Fortifications, Cannon Foundries, Ship
yards,
Arsenals, Ranges, Drill Hulls, Float
ing docks.
War Loan Promoters, Military Tailors,
Camp Followers, Canteens, War Cor
respondents,
Horse Breeders, Armorers, Torpedo
Builders,
I pipeclay and Medal Vendors, Big Drum
Makers4
Gold Lace Embroiderers, Opticians,
Buglers.
Tenlmakers, Banner Weavers, Powder
Mixers,
crutches ana cork Limb Manufac
turers,
Balloonists, M&ppists, Hsliograpbers,
Inventors, Flying Men and Diving Dem
ons, .
Beelzebub and all his hosts, wh/
tv bother ■ /
In, V/ater, Earth or Air, among th/m
pocket 1
When Trade Is brisk a million pouJbs
a week I t.

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