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The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, August 14, 1913, Image 4

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THEAGEHERALE
K. XV. BARRETT.K*IU*>r
Entered at the Birmingham. Ala.,
postoffice as second class matter under
act of Congress March 3,. 1*79.
Daily and Sunday AgerHerald . 88.00
Daily und Sunday per month ... -7«
Dally and Sunday, three months., z.uu
Weekly Age-Herald, per annum ... .o0
Sunday Age-Herald . *'u0
A. J. Eaton, Jr., and O. E. Young are
the only authorized traveling repre
sentatives of The Age-Herald In its
circulation department.
Ho communication will be published
without its author's name. Rejected
manuscript will not be returned unidfca
stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
Remittances can be made at current
rate of exchangef The Age-Herald will
not bo responsible for money sent
through the mails. Address.
THE AGE-HERALD,
Birmingham, Ala.
Washington bureau, 207 Hibbs build
Ing.
European bureau, 5 Henrietta street.
Convent Garden, London.
Eastern business office. Rooms 4S tc
60, inclusive, Tribune building, New
York city; Western business office.
Tribune building, Chicago. The 8. C.
Beckwith Special Agency, agents for
eign advertising.
TELEPHONE
Bell < private exchange connecting nil
departments), No. 40*0.
The best ward of mine honnour, is
rewarding my dependents.
—I,eve's Labor Lost.
England Reconsidering
Great Britain may yet decide to be
an exhibitor at the Panama exposition
to be held in San Francisco in 1915. So
far indications that it will^lo so are
not strong, but enough has developed
to show that the decision of Sir Ed
ward Grey and the Board of Trade has
not met with entire approval. The
unionists are seeking to have the mat
ter brought up in the House of Com
* mons, and they have the backing of
large manufacturers who think that
England would suffer by non-repre
sentation.
The announcement that Great
Britain would not be present was
made by Sir Edward Grey, secretary
of state for foreign affairs. Though
ne^er officially stated, it is shrewdly
■suspected that Sir Edward has al
lowed pique rather than reason to
sway him. England is angry over the
fact that the United States proposes
to discriminate in favor of its own
ships in the matter of toll rates
through the Panama canal. The Eng
lish statesman thinks, honestly of
course, that equality of treatment is
guaranteed all nations under tHe Hay
Pauncefote pact. So far the Washing
ton government has held to a contrary
view. It is a question of interpretation
of the terms of that treaty.
Sir Edward’s stand concerning an
exhibit at San Francisco has met with
much dissatisfaction among the Eng
lish people. Many think that while the
foreign minister is entirely correct in
his attitude toward canal tolls, it is
not dignified for so great and power
ful an empire to permit peevishness
to dominate in deciding for or against
an exhibit.
The State's Pensioners
Alabama does little enough for its
told soldiers, and it does that little bad
ly. There are at the present time about
17,000 veterans on the state’s pension
rolls, and it is estimated that one
fourth had no connection with the
army of the Confederacy at the close
of the civil war. This is a statement
made by John C. Webb of Demopolis,
chairman of the state pension board.
Recently the state decided to intro
duce some order and system into its
pension policy. An examiner was sent
to Washington to check the records of
those drawing money from the treas
ury, and some astonishing facts have
been brought to light. Examiner
Brooke declares that his investigations
lead him to believe that more than
4000 men are now drawing pensions
illegally. In numerous instances he
found that Alabamians who deserted
the cause of the south and joined the
army of the Federals are now appear
ing quarterly and collecting the pit
tance supposed to go only to those
who did their duty faithfully to the
state.
If what Mr. Webb and Mr. Brooke
suspect is true, and no reason to doubt
it is apparent, more than a quarter of
a million dollars is being paid annual
ly to men who have no legal or moral
right to it. The true sons of the south
get small recompense for their sacri
fices.* They should not be robbed by
those who deserted.
Diaz’s Futile Trip
The Tokio government has made it
|>lain that if Felix Diaz, emissary of
Huerta, has gone to Japan seeking as
surance of support in an anti-Ameri
can movement he is going to have
his trouble for his pains. Diaz ostensi
bly is a special envoy to convey the
. . thanks of Mexico to the Mikado’s gov
ernment for participation in the Mexi
can centennial. This, it would appear,
is not of sufficient importance for a
journey across the Pacific byukn am
bassador. A motive weighuer and
more sinister is behind it.
General Diaz announces that he will
continue the trip, despite the fact that
' he has been warned that he will meet
rebuff. The Japanese cabinet also has
seen Tit to issue a denial of some of
the incidents reported of the arrival
of the new Japanese minister in Mexi
I co City. The far eastern diplomat, it is
officially announced, has made no
references to “the identity of inter
ests” between his nation and Mexico.
All things considered, the Japanese
have acted openly and in good faith.
They have shown a disposition to do
nothing that could prejudice their
-standing with the United States, either
as an advocate of the presentions of
Huerta or with reference to the Cal
ifornia situation.
Great Ijritain has made it clear that
its recognition of the Huerta govern
ment was with a distinct understand
ing that the administration was pro
visional only and shortly would be
succeeded by one chosen in a free and
fair election. France and Germany are
seeking to place themselves in line
with the authorities at Washington.
Their recognition of Huerta arose
from the partisanship displayed for
the usurper by Ambassador Henry
Lane Wilspn. They have no intention
of seeking to hamper President Wil
son's trans-Rio Grande plans.
Put Convicts on the Roads
William Goodwyn has brou^t suit
in the city court for $3000 against a
local company, claiming that while a
convict and being under lease to the
defendant a portion of the mine roof
fell upon him and injured him. Good
wyn was 14 years old at the time of
the accident.
This news item is typical of the col
umns of the Birmingham newspapers.
The court dockets are filled with such
cases. This boy was taken against his
will and put to work. Just for the
money that might accrue to the state
from his labor, he was compelled to
engage in an occupation hazardous to
experts and doubly oo to the inexperi
enced. As a result he was hurt.
What right has Alabama to do
this? The boy had committed a crime,
it is true, and owed penance to the
state. But the state has no moral
excuse for subjecting him to danger.
Furthermore, why should the state, by
hiring convicts to coal companies, en
gage in competition with its own free
citizens ?
Alabama’s public roads are badly in
need of work. The employment of con
victs on public highways would be of
benefit to the people as a whole, and
not an asset merely for the corpora
tions which own the coal mines.
Again, they would fare far better in
the open than they do cooped up in
the bowels of the earth. Humanity de
mands a change in Alabama's system
of working prisoners.
Counting the Cost
Wreck and ruin prevail in the near
east. The Balkan states have been the
scene of two devastating wars, one
following upon the heels of the other.
The whole country is laid waste.
“Scores of villages and hundreds of
homes have been destroyed, and mis
ery, want and dire distress are to be
found on all sides.”
Now the rest of the world is being
called upon to come to the relief of the
stricken section. Rev. Elmer E. Count,
American superintendent of Methodist
missions for Bulgaria, is on the scene,
and he sands a shocking description of
conditions. Thousands are on the
verge of starvation, and succor must
come at once if it is to be of avail.
History is repeating itself again. It
is pitifully true in this instance as in
many of the past, that those who
fought most bravely and suffered
most direfully, in the war and after,
have only a confused idea of what it
was all about;
Mrs. Sulzer says tearfully that she "di
verted" the governor's campaign funds
without Ills knowledge. If that Is true,
we have afforded us another example of
the weird workings of a woman's mind.
Castro Is said to have jumped board
bills in Europe and tipped hirelings with
worthless checks. 'We can’t find it in
our heart to blame him much for his
manner of tipping.
The senate has voted to go to work
every day at 11 o’clock Instead of at
neon. The country’s call for quick ac
tion on the tariff bill is being heeded.
John Lind won't drink a drop of pulque
while in Mexico. Business before pleas
ure. and besides, he may be a strict ab
stainer from all kinds of bug juice.
Every now and then a “wild man” is
captured in some part of the country.
Some* of them, however, may be work
ing for moving picture companies.
—_\____
The illness of Frederick Evans, once
secretary to Garret A. Hobart, serves
10 recall the fact that the latter was
one of our Vice Presidents.
President Lynch continues to read proof
on all official action by the Typographi
cal union. *
“Lack of stock water worrying Kan
sas, says a headline. This, it may be,
arises from that state’s stringent “blue
sky’’ law.
Cy Pieh has been signed to pitch for
the New York Americans. He sounds
like a Greek letter fraternity at Si
wash.
Governor Sulzer can now appreciate the
feelings of the man who became unduly
familiar with the buzz saw.
As soon as a southern man gets out
side the hot biscuit belt he begins to
have acute nostalgia.
The evidence of the “exprts” in the
Phagan case is, as usual, diametrically
opposed.
Senor Castro has ceased to be one
of Venezuela’s worries.
It's the same old story. Tammany has
annexed another scalp.
HEADLIGHT SEEN 49 MILES
From the Fort Wayne Journal-Gazette.
E. H. Moeller, who recently returned
from Kansas, where he has been travel
ing and making the Panhandle of Tex
as, received the following letter from a
friend of his wo made his first trip
through the Panhandle:
“I have been on the road for a Kan
sas City house now for six years trav
eling Kansas and Missouri, but the
house has now added the Panhandle of
Texas to my territory and I have Just
finished my first trip. The first town
out of Kansas across the strip' was
Tyrone, Okla. I had spent the after
noon there and intended to take a night
train back to Liberal. A bunoh of us
were sitting on'the front porch of tlie
Commercial hotel when I saw a head?
light looming up down the track. I
made a rush for my grips and yelled at
the boy to get his cart and take 'em
over to the depot quick. I didn’t wait
for his answer, but ran over to the
depot and rushed up to the window and
demanded a ticket for Liberal.
“ How’s this?’ I said to the agent. T
thought this train -wasn't due for an
hour, and here she is not a mile away.’
“ Mister,* he replied, ’you better go
back to the hotel and buy cigars for
that bunch. This is your first trip down
here, ain’t It? Well, I thought so. That
headlight is just 4 9 miles away; you’ve
got pretty nearly an hour to finish that
game of rummy. This is the longest
stretch of straight track In the coun
try, 76 miles, clear across the Pan
handle without a curve. You see that
house over there? That’s where I live.
I don’t have to light a lamp until after
9 q’clock winter nights. About sun
down the Golden State JJmlted looms
up down about Texhoma and she shines
right Into my kKchen window f^r an
hour, finally getting so bright that my
wife has to pull the curt.TV., and 10
minutes behind her comes Xo. 34, and
it takes it 70 minutes to get by with/
its light. It's a great saving for me, and
my wife has gotten so she won’t wash
dishes by anything but electric light.
I never have to call the dispatcher to
get a line on the trains. I climb to the
roof of the station, ^get a line on the
headlight and mark up my board ac
cordingly. Have you any baggage to
check?’ ” .
rKiuiiS ur i^m;n \\ kiting
From the Louisville Courier-Journal.
In the August issue of the Bookman
appears a letter written by the late
O. Henry, In which he says of Pitts
burg:
“I want to say that Pittsburg is the
‘lowdowndest’ hole on the surface of
the earth. The people here are^he most
Ign orant, illbred, contemptible, boorish,
degraded, insulting, sordid, vile, foul
mouthed, indecent, profane, drunken,
dirty, mean, depraved curs that I ever
imagined could exist. I shall linger
j here no longer than necessary.”
To generalize from particular in
stances is a common human failing,
and O. Henry was wholly human and
not without the common failings. As
the boys say, "something was eatin*
him” when tha letter from Pittsburg
was written.
Of course, the letter is not descrip
tive of Pittsburg. It is even less true
than Lafcadio Hearns withering de
scription of New Orleans in a compila
tion of his letters recently published,
or his overcolored description of Japan
and the Japanese which have created
for the American reader an ideal Japan
that has served the purposes of lesser
writers of Action. Inasmuch as the let
ter was doubtless written in sudden
heat and passion, as a result of an
annoying experience, and was not what
the author would have written if he
had been attempting a fair description,
the publication of the letter seems as
unfair to O. Henry as to Pittsburg.
An artist who saw things as they
were and had p. remarkable faculty for
so painting them is butchered in the
house of his friends when he is mis
represented by a scathing generaliza
tion of Pittsburgers that was surely
not Intended to be Anal or to be made
public. If there is any probability that
you may become famous you will do
well to consider the peril that lies in
writing any letters whatsoever, and
especially those recklessly .condemning
persons or places. You may be sure
that your nearest friend will be as
glad as your sworn enemy to sell your
most Intimate communications as soon
as the sod is over your grave.
WHY HE GOES TO CHURCH
Claude Weaver, Congressman from Ok
lahoma, in Leslie's.
I go to church because 1 find peace
there, that peace which De Quincy de
scribed as a resting from human labors,
a Sabbath of repose, a respite granted
from the secret burdens of the heart, as
if I stood at a distance and aloof from
the uproar of life, as if the tumult and
fever and strife were suspended, as If
there brooded over me a dovelike and
halcyon calm.
I go to fchurch because I love the
music that I hear there, the mighty roll
of the great organ, mingled with the
marvelous symphonies of that divine
stringed-instrument, the human voice.'un
twlsting all the chains that tie the hidden
soul of harmony.
I go to church because 1 delight to
hear the teachings of the preacher,
whose soul is dedicated to God, whose
field Is as wide as God’s universe, whose
theme is the destiny of man, and whose
words are the oracles of fate. Marvelous
is the spell of the preacher, to whom God
has given genius antf consecration, and
the power of illustration drawn from the
eld, sacred. Immortal book, and from the
mkucles of nature, no less revealed in
the crimson tipped flower turned up by
the plowshare of Robert Burns upon the
soil of Ayr, than in the long reaches of
the star girt skies.
SHE'D HEARD THAT FELLOW SI.\G
From tlie Kansas City Star.
A young woman in a music store in
Chanutd was seated at a piano, playing
one of the favorites of the great tenor,
Caruso. His picture adorned the cover
page of the selection. A customer ap
proached and was looking fover the latest
of the popular song hits. She picked
two of the most pronounced variety and
remarked:
“That man sure can sing some,” re
ferring to the likeness on the piece the
clerk had been playing.
“Why, where did you hear him?” the
music saleslady asked.
“He was singing in a store down at
Parsons when 1 was there last winter, ’
ItiturneU the customer.
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Itlrvulasrham'* Great Future
“J have been a Birmingham booster
for several years past,” said a mem
ber of the Chamber of Commerce, “but
I am now more of an optimist than
ever.
“During the spring and early sum
mer there was more or less depres
sion in the east, but In the Birming
ham district the pay rolls were at
their besf) and business activity was
always in evidence. Prosperity is now
prevailing all over the country.
“Birmingham has made remarkable
strides within the past two years. Its
strides will be even greater within the
next two years.”
Iron Ore Values
“The Standard Steel company did a
great thing for itself when it acquired
the 1600 acre tract from the Self Flux
ing company,” said a mlnerologist who
bad no sort of connection with either
company. “The transaction represent
ed in round figures something like $1,
000,000, I understand—$200,000 in cash.
That property would have been cheap
at double the price. There is compar
atively little ore land in this district
not already owned by one of the ac
tive corporations. In 10 years from
now or in less time, perhaps, $1000 an
acre will be considered reasonably low
for good red ore, even if it is far down
in the bowels of the earth,”
Flue Prospect* for Quail
“I am pleased to hear that there is
a fine prospect for plenty of quail
shooting the coming season, said a
sportsman.
“The season has been unusually fa
vorable for hatching and reaf|ng quail.
In and near the city are many coveys.
Home of the young birds are over half
grow'n and can fly like old ones. I
heard of a gang of wild turkeys, 14 in
number, not far from the city. The
birds are fully half grown.
“Squirrels are plentiful and this is
the time to find nice, fat young ones in
the corn fields, cutting the juicy ears.
There is nothing better than a Bruns
wick stew with a brace of squirrels
and tw-o frying sl/.e chickens, together
with corn, tomatoes and green peppeia
in the pot.”
Sign* of BiiMlneMM In Hotrh
“It is very interesting to sit In a hotel
lobby in a busy cosmopolitan city such
as Birmingham and study the men who
come and go,” said an observer last
night.
“I had occasion to spend a half hour
in the lobby of a leading hotel today,
Wednesday and it was at a busy hour.
Most of those who came in did so with
a quick, busy air. The traveling men
are already anticipating the big crops
now assured, and are pushing their late
season and next spring sales.
“I notice that several women are on
the road, and they swing along with
their sample cases with a confident, nat
ural and business-like air.
“I think both* the hotels now under
construction will be required here by next
year, for we are certainly gaining in
population, and as a great business cen
ter. Next year we will probably have
a big musical festival, and many other
large gatherings; and then country mer
chants are more and more inclined to
come here to buy, either from our local
houses, or drummers who have headquar
ters here.”
Mln«l Your Own Buninesm .Society
“I often think of what benefit and gen
eral good a society called Mind-Your-Own
Business would be," said a man who is
the head of a family, x
“My wife and I have tried to IncuU
cate In the minds of our daughters the
idea that real, sincere interest in your
friends and neighbors is commendable;
that a broad and generous view, even at
times charitable, so to speak, of Impru
dent acts, is the best habit to cultivate.
You know there is an adage, ‘Like father
like son.’ I extend it to ‘Like mother,
like daughter,’ for it runs in some fam
ilies to be butting into other people's
affairs, very frequently wounding, when
not. really meaning to do so. It Is a
pretty good idea to keep ‘off the grass’
as to other folks’ affairs, great or small.
Of course, I know there are real hap
penings we cannot overlook, coming right
under our eyes; some of them acts of
indiscretion that mere chance throws Jn
our line of vision. Still we are not af
ways justified in publishing them or in
terpreting them.
“I have myself seen, on more than one
occasion, acts of individuals that would
be construed as highly improper, but X
did not consider It any of my business.
It is a hard thing, In this gossipy old
world, to strictly mind your own busi
ness; but one can cultivate the habit
rather than to run the other w*ay, of
concerning one's self with the affairs, the
acts of others, for often we never can
tell just what the situation, all in all, is.’*
Wagner Programme Tonight
Tonight at Capitol park Memoli and his
band will celebrate the centenary of Wag
ner’s birth by a grand Wagner pro
gramme. Selections from several of *the
great composer’s music dramas will be
played, including the bridal march from
“Lohengrin.” The overture to “The Fly
ing Dutchman” will be one of the most
attractive numbers. In popular vogue It
ranks next, perhaps, to the “Tannhauser”
overture, but it has been heard only once
or twice in Birmingham; not at all since
Mollenhauer’s Boston Festival orchestra
played it 13 or 14 years ago at a music
festival performance.
“It is believed that a record break
ing crowd will assemble in the park to
enjoy Memoli’s Wagner programme,” said
an old music lover. “The band Is now in
splendid form and the concert will be
one of the finest ever heard in the
south.
“I am glad Mr. Memoli is to give us
‘The Flying Dutchman’ overture. It is
beautiful from beginning to end. The
opera was first produced in Dresden in
1843. Wagner encountered a terrible hur
ricane in a voyage from Riga to Paris
by way of London. ‘The fury of the
storm,’ says a writer, ‘suggested to the
composer Heine's poetical version of the
legend, which he, with the consent of the
poet, afterward used.’
| “The hero of the opera is the Dutch cap
[ tain, the wandering Jew of the ocean,
and Senta is the heroine. Says It well
known authority: ’The Flying Dutchman
I overture is an established, favorite in the
| concert hall and Is one of the finest por
tions of the opera. The stormy Intrpduc
I tory music is followed by a bright and
Joyous chorus for the sailors. One of the
striking scenes In the opera is the sinking
of the phantom ship. Thp spectral vessel
gots down, the storm closes, and in the
rosy glow of the setting sun. are revealed
the transfigured forms of Senta and the
! Flying Dutchman floating toward heaven
1 in each others arms.'
“Several of Wagner's operas or music
I dramas have been presented in Birmlng
iiam—Lohengrin' at the Bijou Iry the
#
i
Metropolitan Opera company of New
York, when Grau was manager. *Tann*
ha user’ at the Jefferson theatre by the
Savage company, and ‘Parsifal’ at the
Jefferson by the Metropolitan Opera House
company. There may have been others,
but if so 1 do not recall them. The great
est Wagnerian performance of all Was
’Parsifal.’ There was an orchestra of 60
and the star cast and full chorus from
New York.”
CONRAD’S FIRST ENGLISH SHIP
From Publisher’s Notes.
Joseph Conrad has told in his book, "A
Personal Record,” how he happened to
become an English writer. What Is per
haps not so well known is how he, a
Polish aristocrat, entered the British ma
rine. From his fifteenth year, though he
“had not six words” of language In
which he afterwards wrote' “Nostromo”
and ‘The Mirror of the Sea,” his am
bition was to be an English seaman. Af
ter much opposition he began to see his
way clear and he has recorded his emo
tion when his hand first touched an Eng
lish ship. “There are ships,” he says, “I
have forgotten; but tiie name of that ship
seen once so many years ago in the
clear flush of a cold, pale sunrise I have
not forgotten. How could I—the first
English ship on whose side 1 ever laid my
hand! The name—I read it letter by
letter on the bo\v-*was ‘James Westoll.'
Not very romantic, you will say. JTha
name of a very considerable, well known,
and universally respected north country
ship owner, I believe. ‘James WestoU’!
What better name could an honorable
hard working ship have? To me the very
grouping of the letters is alive with the
romantic feeling of her reality as I saw
her floating motionless and borrowing an
ideal grace from the austere purity of
the light.”

EXPENSIVE BASEBALL STAR
Ed A. Goewey, in Leslie's.
“Recently the Chicago White Sox paid
the Milwaukee club of the American as
sociation the record-breaking sum of $18,
(X)*- for ‘Larry’ Chapelle, an outfielder.
Twelve thousand was in cash and the
balance In players. And think of It. This
youth who lias been one of the batting
sensations of the year is still only a ‘kid.’
In the spring of 1911. he slipped out of
his home town, McCloskey, 111., to do
outfield duty for the club representing
Eau Claire, Wis. He' was the classiest
batsman In the organization from the
day he joined, and Hugh Duffy, then tV*e
Milwaukee manager, sixed him up for a
star and purchased him for just $200.
Chapelle improved w-onderfully under
Duffy’s tutelage and last year kept up
his good work, finishing the season with
a batting average of .274. At the time
the White Sox got him he was walloping
the pellet to the tune of about .370. He is
a big fellow and bats left handed, though
ho throws with bis right. Alosngside of
the price paid for him, the $11,000 ex
pended by the Giants for Marquard and
the large sum given by the Pirates for
O’Toole become faded back numbers.
QUIETING THE MOB
From the July National Monthly.
On one of his vacations in the coun
try a circus ticket seller took with
him ills pet parrot. During the season
tlie bird'w'as kept in a cage near the
wicket. She had seen many a big crowd
clamoring for tickets, and heard her
master quietly talking to the throng
as he made change with lightning
rapidity.
But on the second day in the coun
try the parrot strayed away. Going
into the orchard in serach for her, the
showman was attracted to a tree where
a huge flock of crows was making a
greal commotion. Polly was the cause
of the excitement. Surrounded and
pecked at from every side, gcarcely
a feather was left on her body. But
above the raucus caws of the crows
he could hear his pet solemnly ad
monishing: “Don’t crowd! Don’t push!
Plenty of time! Plenty of time! The
performance hasn’t begun yet! Don’t
crowd! Don’t push!’’
AN ACROBATIC FEAT
From the July National Monthly.
A man who had long taken medical
treatment for the cure of dyspepsia
was feeling much improved and telling
his physician that he felt that the cure
was accomplished the practitioner re
plied: “Take a doughnut tonight just
before going to bed and if you can hold
it on your stomach we will know that
the cure is complete.”
The next day the physician asked
his patient the result of the experi
ment.
“It w'orked all right until I went to
sleep,” replied the man, “but as soon
as I went to sleep it rolled off.”
NOBODY TO STOP HIM
From Wilson's "Thackeray in America."
Thackeray's other short story was that,
wishing To see a specimen of the red
shlrted bowery boy and volunteer fire
man of that period, of whom - he had
heard so much, both before and after his
arrival in this country, he wended his
way to that thoroughfare and soon saw
one of the species seated on a hydrant.
Approaching him, he politely said:
"Please, sir, I want to go to Brooklyn."
“Well,” answered the Bowery boy,
“why the hell don't you go?"
- WHERE TENS WAS BORN
From Publisher's Notes.
Now that “Teas of the D’Urbervilles"
id about to make her appearance in mov
ing pictures, it may be interesting to
know how the story originated. Thomas
Hardy once told J. Henry Harper, author
of "The House of Harper,” that Tess
v.aa derived "from a glimpse of a comely
lass sitting in the tail end of a cart
which rambled past him. Her pretty face
was so sad and appealing as it slowly
disappeared from view that it haunted
him man a day."
WELL PATRONIZED
From the I.adles’ Home Journal.
A rural school had a pretty girl as its
teacher, but she was much troubled be
cause many of her pupils were late every
morning. At last she made the announce
ment that she would kiss' the first pupil
to arrive at the school house the next
morning. At sunrise three of the largest
boys of her class were sitting on the
doorstep of the school house and by (i
o'clock every boy in the school and fogir
of the directors were waiting for her to
arrive.
^ DO IT NOW
From Life.
A gentleman who had been in town
only three days, but who had been paying
attention to a prominent belje, wanted
to propose, but was afraid he Would be
thought too hasty. He delicately broached
the subject as follows:
“it I were to speak to you of marriage
after having only made your acquaint
ance three days ago, what would you say
to it?"
"Well, I should say, never put off till
tomorrow that which you should have
done the day before yesterday."
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
DELINQUENT.
In a bowary glade where shadows cool
Invite the soul to rest,
And sunbeams gild a hermit pdol,
By branching ferns caressed.
No sound is heard but the passing breeze
And the rillet’s limpid flow,
As It winds away through towering trees
To seek the vale below.
And there, at ease, why make pretense
Of hearing duty's call?
Held fast in the arms of indolence,
With never a care at all.
Tls good to toil with a right good will
And seek life’s goal, I guess,
And yet my heart leans, wistful still,
To the lure of Idleness.
A TIDAL# WAVE DUE.
“Come farther away from the water's
edge, Aisle."
"Why, mother?"
"A fat woman is wading out."
'HE’LL KEEP HIS MONEY.
A Kansas man, who recently inherited
ffi0,000, says that now his family "wants
to go to the picture show every night."
We could never imagine tnat man "burn
ing up Broadway."
UNMOVED.
“Isn’t it sad to think of poor King
Manuel having to pawn hns family jew
els?"
‘*No. T couldn’t scare up a tear for
poor King Manuel if my fife depended
on it."
WHY SHOULD IT?
O why should the spirit of mortal be
proud?
Returning to town one observes to the
crowd;
“I’m glad to be back in the city today,"
And somebody punctures with: “Oh, been
away?"
—F. P. Adams in New York Mall.
O why should the spirit of mortal be
proud?
You purchase some clothes that you do
not deem loud;
And, right off. some neighbor your van
ity shocks
By saying: “I heard that nevv outfit six
blocks."
—Arthur Chapman in Denver Republican.
O why should the spirit of mortal b«
proud?
You come* home at dark with your honk
honking loud.
You answer the phone after dousing the
glim—
"How far." asks a friend, "did you ride
on tlje rim?"
—Doc Bixby, in Nebraska State Journal.
O why should the spirit of mortal be
proud ?
One loves little kiddies, and raises a
crowd,
And when, of a Sunday, fried chicken’s
on deck,
Poor ma gets the gizzard and father the
neck.
—Judd Lewis, In the Houston Post.
O why should the spirit of mortal be
proud?
That never makes much of a hit with the
csowd.
Who know very well that the chestiest
chumps
in less than a week may be bumping the
bumps.
A HARD WORLD.
W ho toils till strength Is waning
And. dreams till 'hope is gone.
And still, without complaining,
Keeps ever pushing on.
To all men doth commend him
For being brave und true,
And yet they wouldn't lend him
'Ten cents to buy a stew.
CONVENIENT.
Mrs. E. Ay. who sells women's hals in
Kansas City, has an ideal name for busi
ness purposes. Think of the valuable
time she saves when signing cheeks.
THE WEEK.
This is Monday; let's be glad
If we still are well and strong;
There are many who are sad,
Many sleep the sleep that's long;
Let us laugh eouraghously,
Yesterday, you know, was Sunday;
It's a triumph not to be
Dead or maimed on Monday.
t—Chicago Record-Herald.
This is Wednesday: let's be sad.
Knowing full well it’s a gray day;
How can anyone be glad
Three full days away from pay day?
This is Wednesday; let us weep,
Bow our heads in deepest sorrow;
W hat we had we failed to keep.
What we need we cannot borrow.
—Louisville Times.
This is Sunday; let's beware
Lest we see the epidermis
Of some lady sweet and fair
Where her charms do not concern us.
All the new things will be out
'.lust as tight as they can pin them;
I.et us not look much about
Lest we see the ladles In them.
—St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
Darn the day, 'tls! What’s the use
i Of pretending we are glad?
Slillry summer's played (he deuce—
Robbed us of tile-joys we had.
There's no day In all the week
That makes such a hit with us;
We who once could pertly speak,
Now e'en lack the strength to cuss'
PAUL COOK.
•••■••••••••••■•••••••••aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#aaaa
THE HISTORY OF THE FAN
From the Electric News Service.
THE inhabitants of almost every
country have used fans for thou
sands of years. The American In
dian utilized for this purpose the wings
of tlie wild turkey and other large birds.
The fans of the Aztecs of Mexico und the
Incas of Peru were made of highly colored
feathers and most elaborately decorated.
The fans of the wild and semi-civilized
nations of Europe and Asia varied greatly,
from tiny hand fans to huge feathered
devices operated by slaves and attend
ants. Reproductions of fans in the shape
of leaves attached to long handles have
been found ig ancient monuments in Asia.
These are called taiapat, which signifies
palm tree leaf. The taiapat is still used
by Buddhist priests in the kingdom of
Siam. Ancient miniatures show that some
of the earliest fans were made of peacock
feathers or an elaborate combination of
feathers. The plumage of birds and the
different colored grasses doubtless stimu
lated the primitive artist, so, after a while,
the fans begun to be decorated.
The “punkah" was the Indian name of
the fan. This term is also used to desig
nate the huge fan or frame covered with
cloth which is suspended from the celling
and worked by slaves.
Proofs have been found that 3ou0 years
ago Assyrians had contrived some method
of refreshing the air by artificial breezes.
In China and Japan the bamboo leaf be
came transformed into a marvel of work
manship. The Japanese god of happiness
in'the seventh and eighth centuries A. D.,
is represented with a folding fan in his
hand. Chinese artists were probably the
originators of the pictorial decoration on
fans. The Japaneso have a special kind
of fan for every use. They have a court
fan, a kitchen or a water fan, a dancing
fan, tea fan, war fan and a kind of bel
lows fan. In ancient time the war fan
was quite a formidable weapon. It was
made of leather with a heavy iron han
dle. All kinds of souvenir fans with views
and scenes originate in China or Japan.
Artists and poets have embellished these
fans with wonderful carvings in ivory or
mother-of-pearl, and with many kinds of
precious wood inlaid with gold and silver.
Little figures are sometimes wrought in
silk embroidery with delicately carved
faces of ivory. The varied pictures of na
ture supplied material to these early ar
tists, aided by tlielr own marvelous im
agination. Fantastic animals, mythologi
cal gods, curious figures, served to adorn
Celestial fans, and much previous ma
terial and careful labor have been lav-'
ished upon them. Dreadful dragons with
surprising lines and curves in comblnn-l
tions of glowing colors, birds, insects aim
flowers, were all utilized and portrayed
upon these early fans.
The first fan mentioned in Chinese poe
try was that of the Princess Pan, A. D..
550. She was for a time the favorite of
the Emperor Chi’eng Si, but when she
found that she was gradually being for
gotten and neglected, she sent to the
Emperor a circular fan witli some verses
written upon it in which she described
herself as an autumn or neglected lan.
Since that time in China a neglected wife
is often called an autumn fun.
Some study into the early history of the
fan reveals the fact that in China and
Jupan the fan was ah indispensable
weapon against the hot climate and the
annoying swarms of insects. It was not,
therefore, a mere feminine accessory, as
it lafer became in England. In the far
east, prince and priest, soldier, day labor
er, mistress and maid carried the fan for
the sake of coolness. It also had its cere
monial uses. It wras used in the saluta
tion and carried by all classes.
The fun was a royal emblem in Egypt
and signified authority, happiness and re
pose. The fan bearer* were generally per
sons of royal birth and were initiated into
their office witli elaborate ceremony.
Frescoes on an ancient palace of Thebes
represent fan-bearers carrying a semi-cir
cular screen attached to a long handle.
The Grecian ladies preferred fans made
of peacock feathers, as the peacock was
the bird of Juno and symbolized splendor
and luxury. As the Romans w'ere chiefly
engaged in conquests of a military r.a
fure, art industries did not flourish as in
times of peace. The Romans used Ihl
tan, as did the earlier nations, to enhance
their splendid festivals. At banquets
slaves stood behind the guests and waved
enormous fans made of peacock feathers,
gorgeously colored and further enriched
with ostrich plumes. In the fifteenth and
sixteenth centuries, ladles of the chief
Italian cities carried Ians, In which a lit
tle mirror was set. According to a charm
ing Spanish legend, psyche was asleep
one day on a bank of flowers and Zephyr
kept hovering near her. This made Cupid
jealous and to punish the intruder Cupid
plucked off of Zephyr's wings and gave It
to Psyche that she might always have
cooling breezes. This is the Spanish story
of the origin of the fan.
Early In the eighteenth century the fan
Was In general use among the ladles of
England, and Addison wittily wrote:
“Women are armed with fans as men
with swords, and sometime do more ex
ecution with them."
At tills time the fan was a fascinating
trinket in the hands of powerful beautiea
and figured In many a political intrigue.
Social events and politics, the follies and
fashions of the time were depicted upon
them. Scenes from popular plays were
painted upon them, whfle others had the
rules of various games. Some bore rec
ords of royal marriages; others were in
scribed with verses or contained carica
tures on social and political events. After
the French revolution the cupids, roses
and rustic idyls disappeared entirely from
the fans.
Up to the early SO's the palm leaf fan
and other inexpensive fans of oriental
make were in general use. Fans to be
operated by mechanical power were hard
ly possible until the discovery and devel
opment of electricity. While experiment
ing with an electricall.v-driven propeller
for a small boat an electrical engineer
conceived the idea of the electric fan.
This was before the perfection of the elec
tric generator, and electric service for tha
home and office. Consequently the new
fun had to be operated from battery cur
rent. Little advance was made until 188S,
when a successful attempt was made to
connect the fan with the electric lighting
circuit in place of a lamp. The electric
fan became popular at once and the man
ufacture of fans began in earnest. A cou
ple of years later the ceiling fan was in
troduced and since that time the produc
tion of desk, bracket, celling and oscillat
ing fans had grown with euch succeeding
year until American made fans are now
in use throughout the civilized world.
Modern electric fans can be operated four
hours for a cent, or as cheaply as a smell
electric lamp.
FHUM t'HinCiAS
From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
This is the way the new round-the
world-in-record-time tablet looks:
Phineas Fogg (imaginary)—80 days
Nellie fcly—72 days.
Gaston Steigler—63 days.
Henry Frederick—54 days.
Andre Jaeger-Schmidt—39 days.
John Henry Mears—33 days, 21 hour*
13 minutes and 4-5 of a second.
HE MV SWEETHEART
By Eugene Field.
Sweetheart, be my sweetheart
When birds are on the wing,
When bee and bud and babbling flood
Bespeak the birth of spring;
Come, sweetheart, be my sweetheart
And wear this posy ring.
Sweetheart, be my sweetheart
In the golden summer glow
Of the earth aflush with the gracious
blush
Which the ripening fields foreshow;
Dear sweetheart, by my sweetheart.
As Jnto the noon we go.
Sweetheart, be my sweetheart #
When fails the bounteous year,
When the fruit and wine of tree :-ml
vine
Give us their harvest cheer;
O sweetheart, Vie my sweetheart,
For winter, it draweth near,
Sweetheart, be my sweetheart
When the year is white and old,
When the fire of youth is spent, for
sooth.
And the hand of age is cold:
Yet, sweetheart, be my sweetheart.
’Till the year of our love be toUL

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