THEAGE-HERALB
E. W. BAIUtETT.■. - Editor
Entered at the Birmingham, Ala.,
postof lice as second class mutter under
act of Congress March 3, 1879.
Daily and Sunday Age-Herald . $8.00
Daily and Sunday per month ... -<0
Daily and Sunday, three months.. 2.ou
Weekly Age-Herald, per annum .. .®J>
Sunday Age-lierald . *,uu
O. E. Young are
the only authorized traveling repre
sentatives of Th© Age-Herald in its
circulation department.
No communication will be published
without its author's name. Rejected
manuscript will not be returned unless
stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
Remittances can be made at current
rate of exchange. The Age-Herald will
not be responsible for money sent
through the mails. Address.
THE AGE-HERALD,
Birmingham, Ala.
Washington bureau, 207 Hibbs build
ing.
European bureau, 5 Henrietta street,
Convent Garden, London.
Eastern business office, Rooms 48 tc.
BO, inclusive, Tribune building, New
York city; Western business office.
Tribune building, Chicago. Th© ti. C.
Beckwith Special Agency, agents for
eign advertising.
TELEPHONE
Bell (private exchange connecting all
departments), No. 41HH).
111 9
A very little the If of occasion will
yob you of a great deal of patience.
—< orlolnim*.
Death of Herr Bebel
August Ferdinand Bebel, Germany's
great socialist leader, is dead in
Zurich at the age of 73. His political
followers mourn the passing of a zeal
ous chieftain; his political enemies
pay thribute to a man pure in heart.
Herr Bebel had been a member of
the imperial Parliament almost con
tinuously since its formation in 1871.
He had seen the socialist representa
tion there grow from almost nothing
to the most powerful group in the
Reichstag. The membership of flie
Reichstag is 397. The social democrats
lead with 110, and next come the
clericals with 99. A dozen parties and
factions make up the rest.
Though earnest in his advocacy of
peace and an ardent foe of militarism,
Herr Bebel and his fellow socialists
have voted in favor of Emperor Wil
liam’s ambitious plans for army and
navy increase. Herr Bebel explained
his vote by declaring that only by so
doing would it be possible to build up
a liberal majority.
Herr Bebel, essentially a visionary,
ever dreaming of the coming of
Utopian ideals, could play practical
politics with a skill most disconcerting
to his opponents. He recognized that
the world is not now ready to adopt
the theories in which he so devoutly
believed, and he set about to make the
best of conditions as he found them.
Once he was sentenced to two years
Imprisonment on a charge of high
treason, and another time to nine
months for lese majeste. But he lived
to win the esteem of the most radical
upholders of the privileges of mon
archy, and the Lokal Anzeiger pays
him this tribute: “He was an un
selfish champion of political ideas,
and sought to further to the best of
his powers the welfare of the work
ers. His name will have a permanent
place in the history of the German
empire.”
.a What Might Have Been
Here is another illuminating inci
dent from a newspaper account of a
murder trial now in progress:
The announcement of the judge’s rul
ing (admitting certain testimony for
th# state) was a signal for a murmur
of applause and a stamping of feet
about the courtroom.
An attorney for the defense was on
his feet instantly.
“Such a demonstration might easily
cause a mistrial,” lie cried.
“Why, the jury’s not in,” remarked
the solicitor.
“It makes no difference, the jury
might have heard it,” retorted tiie pris
oner’s lawyer.
If the jurors were possessed of ears
as acute for hearing as were the eyes
needed by Sam Weller for seeing
through a pair of stairs and a deal
door, certainly they might have heard
it. But even then they wouldn’t have
known what it was all about. This
simple little fact, however, would not
mitigate against the attorney’s point.
Uniform State Laws
Among the many conventions
which have been and will be held this
year there is none that promises to
be attended with better results than
that of the American Bar association
which meets in Montreal on Septem
ber 1. Not only will it be important
vn account of the personages who are
•xpected to attend and speak, but also
en account of the subjects which will
be considered and discussed.
The American Bar association will
number among its guests Viscount
Haldane, who at present holds the
distinguished office of lord chancelloi
of England, one of the most, if not
the most, learned jurist in Great
Britain today. Chief Justice White oi
the United States supreme court
Monsieur Labori, a celebrated Frenci
lawyer, and ex-President W. H. Taft
will be among those whose addresses
are certain to make an impr§ssior
lor\g to be felt and remembered b\
all who come within the scope of theii
application.
The need of uniformity among th<
states with regard to certain laws it
becoming an absolute necessity so ai
to remove many of the anomalies that
exist at present. There need be no
surrender of states’ rights in the es
tablishment of uniformity in laws
governing such matters as marriage
and divorce, negotiable instruments,
and intrastdte commerce. With the
development of modern means and
facilities for travel and communica
tion between places that were consid
ered distant not very long ago, the
laws of demarcation between states
are geographical rather than actual,
and such being the case there is no
reason why there should be all this
conflict of laws upon matters that are
common to the entire coyntry.
This is one of the subjects upon
which the speakers at the convention
of the American Bar association will
lay special stress, and the effect will
be found in the good results which
are certain to follow the suggestions
that will be offered.
New York’s Scandal
William Sulzer may seek sanctuary
behind his wife’s skirts, but he will
not find it. A plea that “the woman
did it” is no more an answer to the
charges brought against him than
were his former replies that “Charles
F. Murphy is a crook.” A technical
quibble that anything wrong he may
have done was done before he took of
fice will not suffice. The people of his
state and of the country demand that
he make an open defense. Heretofore
sympathy has been with him. It is yet
possible that he can rehabilitate him
self in the opinion of his former ad
mirers.
Sulzer went into office by an enor
mous plurality. He had been in Con
gress a decade, representing a New
York district and always professing
independence of Tammany, although
ever profiting by its support. In the
House he posed as the one true, 18
carat, chemically clean friend of the
masses. He delighted to be told that
he resembled Henry Clay intellectu
ally and physically, and longed to be
regarded as a popular idol. It now
would seem that this idol had feet of
clay, but not the head of Henry.
So far Sulzer has failed to meet
squarely the allegations that he .ap
propriated to his personal use sums
given him to assist in his campaign
for election as governor of New York.
He has preferred to back and fill, dart
and dodge. His circuitous course has
served to alienate support.
At the eleventh hour comes Mrs.
Sulzer with a statement that she took
money intended for her husband’s
campaign fund and speculated in
Wall street. Just how she managed
to do this without her husband's
knowledge and consent has not been
made plain, and the point is especially
an important one, as the funds came
in in the form of checks.
It must not now be said that Sul
zer is guilty, however. The public
should bear in mind that his trial is
still to pome. From the beginning he
has been in a disadvantageous posi
tion, owing to the strength of his op
ponents in the legislature.
The Fay of Ambassadors
James W. Gerard, new United
States ambassador to Germany, has
reached the scene of action and called
in the reporters. Justice Gerald has
ideas and a canny perception of how
to get them into print. There’ll be no
Jeffersonian simplicity about the
American embassy in Berlin while he
is on the job, he says. He’s there to
please the Kaiser, and the Kaiser
isn’t pleased by wool hats and grape
juice.
In the first place, the present em
bassy doesn’t suit the new boss. He’s
got to find a house in keeping with
America’s pretentions as a first class
power, he says, and to do so he finds
it necessary to dip (or dive, as the
ambassador expresses it) into his own
pockets and pay for it. “Yes,” he an
nounces, "I shall even wear the diplo
matic uniform. It’s a rule of the court,
and I’m not going to commence by
offending the prejudices of the people
1 am sent to, although architectural
ly my legs are not built for knee
breeches and silk stockings. It is all
very well to talk about democracy at
home, but we can’t impose our views
upon people who do not understand
them. To try to do so simply belittles
our country and makes ourselves
ridiculous.”
Just why it should please the Kai
ser to gaze upon the gnarled and
knotted underpinning of the repre
sentatives of other nations, Justice
Gerard does not attempt to say. It is
a condition, not a theory, that he con
fronts.
And as to expenses, Justice Gerard
rejoices that he does not have to de
j pend upon the inadequate remunera
tion provided for diplomats by the
laws of the United States. “Poor
man for ambassador?” he inquires
disdainfully. “Rubbish. Not so long
as present conditions continue. One
^American ambassador told me that he
had spent $128,000 in less than the
year he had been at his post.'”
It is not certain that these condi
tions will long continue, however. Am
■ bassador Gerard is preparing a bill,
he says, that he will have introduced
in Congress as a remedial measure.
The bill will provide that Americans
over 18 years of age when they go
to a foreign country must register
within six days after the first year
spent abrbad, fill out a registration
certificate and pay a fee of $10, the
embassies to retain the fees up to
$50,000, and the surplus to be sent
to the state department for the main
tenance of other embassies and lega
tions. Failure to comply with the
provisions of the bill would imply
abandonment of American citizenship.
It is rumored that T. R. is organizing
a regiment of Rough Riders in Arizona
to invade Mexico. Probably another ex
ample of an idle rumor working over
time.
A Philadelphia builder has incorporated
himself for $2,000,000. A great many men
have a $2,000,000 opinion of themselves
tv lien they are not worth 30 cents.
Well, if the Senate declines to seat
Henry Clayton, Alabama will have the
satisfaction of knowing that it turned
down a mighty good man.
General Diaz might stop by Guam and
see if he can depend upon the inhabitants
of that little isle in bis grand scheme to
humble the United States.
That California man under death sen
tence who has been overlooked for two
years by the authorities has no kick on
the law's delay.
Mr. Borah semes to have taken serious
ly Colonel Harvey's prediction that he
would be the republican nominee for Pres
ident in 1916.
——---__—
A husband was arrested the ohert day
for disturbing a suffragette meeting when
his wife was making a speech. Plucky
but foolish.
It seems Impossible for Henry Lane Wil
son to curb that tongue of his. He has
rubbed the administration the wrong way
again.
A dancer is making a hit by wearing a
ring in her nose. Rather scanty cos
tume. Still, the pubilc knows wdiat it
wants.
Sulzer and Glynn both claim to be gov
ernor of New York, but that state need
not hope to equal the Arkansas record.
The 1. W. W. is now rioting in I'tah.
It seems to be W’orktng the country as
thoroughly as a gold brick agent.
First thing they know, militant suffra
gettes in England will be crowded off
the front page.
Polly Hopkins’ charge that Governor
Sulzer wrote poetry fades into insignifi
cance.
It Is at least evident that tlie gover
nor’s choice was not Hobson s.
Ambassador Henry Lane Wilson Insists
on being kicked out.
I __
HOGS FOR BASEBALL
Wd A. Goevvev, in Leslie’s.
“A funny ease of interest to the fans at
L.ige was decided recently out in the mkl
ole west. According to. the story, the
Terre Haute club of the Central league
protested a game played late in June in
Fort Wayne with the local team, because
a Great Dane dog chased Manager An
derson as he was attempting to field a
ball, and forced him to climb a fence.
Fort Wayne won the contest, and though
the members of that ball club protested
that the canine was not on their payroll,
the protest was tiled. After due delibera
tion President Heilbroner of the Central
league turned down the protest, ruling
that the dog did not cause the loss of the
fcame. If It were a sure thing that this
decision would hold throughout the coun
try, it might furnish a new line of en
deavor for some of our foxy, little man
agers in the major leagues* Large, husky,
able-bodied dogs might be trained, upon
signal, to give chase to visiting players
attempting to recover the ball after long
hits and force them to seek safety in the
bleachers or over the centre field fences.
The animals could be taken upon the
fields under the plea that they were ‘mas
cots,’ and kept on the players’ benches
until such times as it was decided neces
sary to call upon them for service.
HIS TROUBLE
From the New York Globe.
Robinson, passenger to London on a
fast train from Manchester, was fasci
nated by the demeanor of the man sit
ting facing him. Never a movement
did he make; hour after hour lie sat
there motionless while the train roared
along the metals, his elbows pressed
lightly to his sides, his hands stretched
out in front of him.
“Poor fellow! He must be paralyzed,”
thought Robinson. And, on the strength
of this, being a sympathetic fellow, he
was only too glad, as the train neared
London, to accede to the stranger's re
quest that he should take his hat from
the rack and place it on his head.
A minute later the collector came for
tickets. Again Robinson's services
were requested, this time to remove
the stranger’s ticket from his pocket
Robinson did so, but restrain his curt
orsity longer he could not.
“How did you become paralyzed?” he
asked, in his most gentle voice.
"Paralyzed!” gasped the stranger.
"I’m not paralyzed. My wife sent me
up to town ti fetch a piece of glass
and”—motioning to his hands—“this Is
the width.”
EASY FOR GEORGE
From the Montgomery Advertiser.
Also George B. Ward of Birmingham
“should worry.” He is running for mayor
practically without opposition. Clement
Wood, a socialist, is running.
POINTED PARAGRAPHS
From the Chicago News.
Doing things for effect is seldom ef
fective.
Most of us admire a fool as long as
he has money.
If you would get up in the world get
down to business.
Marriage is a union that is respon
sible for a lot of strikes.
Success at poker depends ofi the way
a man is raised.
When a man hangs on a woman’s
words they are not married.
Much reading will not make a full
man as quickly as much feeding.
Happy is the wife W’ho believes that
her husband tells her all he knows.
There was once a married man whose
wife’s folks didn't try to work him
through her. She had no folks.
“What Is so rare as a day in June?”
asks the poet. We don’t know—unless
it is praise for a man who has been
dead a year.
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
College* nml Farmers
IAst year was one of prosperity with
j r,le colleges of Alabama," said an edu
cator, “and the scholastic year of 1913-14
promises to be even better. The farmers
oi Alabama are blessed witli good crops
this year, and when the farmers are well
to do the colleges get the beneilt. Of
course a large percentage of the students
come from the cities, but more and more
country boys are found in the student
bodies.
H use(1 to be that only boys Intended
for professional life were sent to college,
but now every bright boy who Is capable
of taking an education’' makes an effort
to spend two or three, if not four, years
in one of the higher institutions of learn
ing. No man can apply education to prac
tical work to better advantage, perhaps,
than the farmer."
f _
The Long Hot Spell
"The weather bureau forecasts for Ala
bama 22 rainy days in this month of Au
gust,” said a goosebone prophet, "but the
month is half gone and we have had very
little or no rain hereabouts.
"My prediction Is that we will have rain
| next week followed by a decidedly cool
spell. We have had an unusually hot
j summer, but It has been good for the
j crops. We had good rains in July, and
I with few exceptions there has been little
complaint of drouth in the south."
\ Handsome Convent Building:
The convent built by the Sisters of Per
petual Adoration In the Blessed Sacrament
parish, West End, will be open for inspec
tion this afternoon.
"Few convents in this country a^e hand
somer than the one just completed here,"
said a layman. "1 understand that it cost
considerably over $100,000, and all that
money was provided by the order of Per
petual Adoration from the general fund.
"If the first scholastic year is as ^ac
cessful as it gives promise of being a
large addition will be built to the convent
next year. New Orleans is the American
headquarters of the Sisters of Perpetual
Adoration. The order is widely noted in
educational circles."
open Air MunIv
‘*1 have been interested in some of the
comments my friends have made about
Capitol park programmes," said a club
maji. "A few have protested that the pro
grammes were too ‘classical.’ They have
said that the people wanted very light
music and have suggestjpl that the lighter
the music the better.
That sort of talk would have been ex
pected perhaps 25 years ago. but it is cer
tainly out of order now. Birmingham has
come to be a large city and public taste
here lias improved as it has in other
cities. What would have suited the
masses 25 or 30 years ago does not appeal
to them much today.
“Memphis and Nashville have fine open
air concerts during the summer. In each
city a large concert band Is maintained
and the programmes in those cities con
tain high class music. They are not only
as pretentious as Memoli’s, but more so.
Memoli plays much high class music, but
he also plays a good deal of very light
music. 1 am told that In Memphis scarce
l.v anything below standard music is hea.”d
in the park. And certainly Memphis has
no claim to be distinctly a musical city.
The fact is that the people by constant
hearing come to appreciate the best. It
is the same witli music as with litera
ture.’’
Speculating In Stock*
“Whether Governor Sulzer of New Yoik,
who is now impeached, loses his office or
I not, men without capital should take a
warning against speculating in stocks.*'
said an old business man.
“Now and then I have taken a turn In
the stock market and with one exception
have made some money, tAit the money
I risked was my own and I had ample
capital to protect my ‘holdings’ In case
of a violent slump. In nther words, I was
well able to pay for the stock outright.
“A man with money ran make money in
the stock market if he uses fairly good
judgment. Any man who was able to buy
| United States Steel common a few weeks
ago at 49 or 48%, L believe it was, would
have been safe. It has advanced to 65 or
more. At 50 it was a 10 per cent invest
ment, for it has been paying a 5 per cent
dividend for several years and the
chances are it will never pay less. The
probability la that on the next boom it
will pay a quarterly dividend at the rate
of 6 per cent a year.
“Young men who are in debt and are
trying to recoup by speculating in fu
tures or in the stock market are running
a terrible risk.’'
It sis I ii cns Good In Allnntn
“I have just returned from Atlanta and
business in that city seemed to be very
brisk, indeed,’’ said U. W. Blackford of
the Donovan Provision company yester
day afternoon. “The wholesalo merchants
seemed busy and all appeared prosperous
and optimistic.
“The streets of Atlanta, however, are so
narrow as to give one an Impression that
the Georgia city is as busy as Birming
ham. Peachtree street in Atlanta is as
narrow as State street in Chicago, and
on such narrow tHoronghfares it does not
take very many people to present a scene
of great activity.
“Business on Morris avenue is in nor
mal condition. Business today was only
fair, but that is nothing unusual on
Thursday during the summer months.
Practically all of the retail merchants
close their doors on Thursday, and. of
course, the wholesalers feel it.
The iron Market
The locai pig iron market continues
fairly brisW. The $11 price is Arm and
it is believed that iron will advance
to $12 on a No. 2 basis during the
next few weeks.
Rogers, Brown & Co.’s Cincinnati cir
cular says:
“New business during the week while
satisfactory has not been in unusual
volume, but price hardening continues
and the situation is improved through
out. Prompt delivery iron is being
taken according to contracts in most
instances, and the reduced production
of blast furnaces at the present time is
all going into melt with no accumula
tions on furnace yards, and at some
points further inroads on the already
greatly depleted furnace stocks.
“In the south the advance to $11 Bir
mingham basis is being strongly main
tained. Stocks of iron in the Birming
ham district are at minimum. Steel
making iron continue strong and sales
during the week have been consum
mated.
“Recent sales of equipment and
structural material to railroads have
been larger than for some time* past
and are subject for favorable comment.
“Furnaces are still loath to encour
age buying for extended period and,
in consequence, all sales are for cur
tailed delivery, both buyers and sellers
waiting to see what the future will
bring forth.
“The coko market continues to grow
-I
better. Considerable new Inquiry ap
peared during the week for forward
shipment, although most of the buying
is for spot movement. In spite of the
continued blowing out of furnaces, the
surplus of coke Is not apparent. Prices
are stronger and in the Conltellsvtll**
| field some producers have withdrawn
j temporarily from the market.
“The labor situation at mines and
j ovens is most trying, and lack of ef
ficient labor is one of the problems with
which the producers are contending
more strongly now than for many
months. A decrease in production and
shipment is reported for the week. In
the Virginia fields the situation is but
a reflection of the Connellsville dis
trict.”
NEW EDITOR ,TAKES CHARGE
From the Montgomery Advertiser.
Major Screws,is gone—I have been
named as editor of the Advertiser, but
the vacancy has not been filled. The
work he did must go on even though
those who- take it up feel that Ullysses
has gone and there is none in Ithaca
able to bend his bow.
He could not transfuse, when he laid
his hands upon his younger associate,
his ability and his power, but he could
infuse in him purpose and spirit. This
I bring to the responsible task, now
placed upon me; to make the Adver
tiser’s editorial page as near as I can.
the pa^e he would have it. For 12 years
we were in the closest and most in
timate relation; to sit by his side
through these latter years, and to fol
low him in thought, purpose, and ideals
was a rare privilege. It has strength
ened my confidence to do the work that
he has been doing.
To those who year after year have
been reading the Advertiser, many of
whom began to read it before I was
born, I approach with diffidence In a
new capacity, but to assure them the
general policies of the Advertiser will
be continued so far as it is in me to do
it. The editorial work which I have
done day after day, under the direction
of Major Screws, for all these years,
has been my equipment for the new
place. I hardly know anything of edi
torial work, except what he taught; I
could hardly do any editorial work ex
The Advertiser will be In the future
as It lias been In the past, devoted to
the welfare of Alabama and Us people.
I was born an Alabamian and have
never lived out of the bounds of the
state; It has always seemed to me
that the Advertiser was filling Us true
office when it was best serving the
Interests of the people of Alabama.
This now is my conviction, when facing
the new responsibiltties.
The associate editor of the Adver
tiser will be Mr. Grover C. Hall, In
whose ability and character after three
years' Intimate relationship, the late
editor of the Advertiser had the high
est confidence. Of him Major Screws
once said, earnestly: "He was horn
poor, but tl)e Lord compensated him In
advance for his poverty when he fur
nished his head." Though done under
the anonymity of an^ditorlal writer,
tile work of Mr, Hall has already re
ceived the honorable recognition which
it merits.
We will do the best we can.
WILLIAM T. SHEEHAN
A MICH MAN’S STORY
Kate I pson Clark in Leslie’s.
A very rich man, now dead, related this
story not long ago to a friend:
"You know that anybody who has a
reputation for having a kind heart and
some money has a great many requests
for help of various kinds, and I think
that i am even more pestered in tills way
than most others are. At any rate, I have
so many begging letters that I years ago
forbade my secretary to show any to me
unless they should happen to he of a very
uncommon nature..
une cray ne appeared with a letter in
•his hand which he said he thought I ought
to see. He knows that I have a sense
of humor, and that U could get a good
laugh from this episftle, even If nothing
more should come of It. The letter was
from a girl who said that she was 16
years old and was attending a very fine
and expensive school. Her parents, she
said, were not rich, but they wanted her
to have a good education and were strain
ing every nerve to give it to her. She
said that her mother and she made her
dresses, often sitting up far into the night
to do it, but there was one thing which
she wanted very, very much, and which
they could not afford to get for her. Every
other girl In the school but herself had a
I silk petticoat. ‘And, oh, dear Mr. Blank,’
sho said, ‘they do rustle so beautiful when
the girls go across the room, while I do
not rustle at all, and you don't know
'lio\v>poor it makes me seem, and dread
fully conspicuous. They tell me that you
are very good, and that you are sorry
for people in trouble. Now don’t you see
what terrible trouble I am having? Qli,
if you would only send me the money to
buy a silk petticoat, you don’t know how
happy 1 should be.,'
“Well, I felt that I should be less than
human if l should refuse a prayer like
that, so I sent her J20 and told her to
go and get herself a nice silk petticoat.
You should have seen the ecstatic letter
that I received a few days later. She had
gene out at once and had bought herself
*a perfect beauty,’ and now she was the
happiest girl in the world. She had worn
her new acquisition to school, 'and now,’
she said, T rustle with the rest!’ ”
TRAVELING BY STAGECOACH
From Hall’s “Retrospect of a Long Life.”
If mail coachingxhad its drawbacks, it
had some pleasures that a railway journey
lacks. True, the Inside passenger had to
pass hour after 'hour in a miserably
cramped position. If lie managed to
sleep, he was very likely to bo awakened
by some Jolt that pitched httn into an op
posite passenger's arms.
It is an old story of the inside gentle
man who, desiring to get out from the !
cc.ach, was asked by a lady why he wished
to do so, and answered, “Oh, only to
stretch my legs.” v
“Pray don’t do that,” she said. “I am
sure they are long enough already!”
The outsiders were, of course, exposed
to all elemental ills. But how pleasant j
were the fresh morning air, the jovial j
tQot-toot of the guard’s horn and the ex
hilarating gallop of the horses. How
j grateful the stoppages for meals—about
I all. for breakfast—at primitive and pic
turesque country inns!
WHERE THE PINS GO
From the New York Telegram.
Notice with much satisfaction that a
Paris scientist, Dr. Xavier, has added to
the general joy and the world’s stock of
knowledge by telling us where all the i
missing plus go.
They disappear, says the progressor, into ,
thin air by changing into ferrous oxide, a
brown rust that is soon blown away in
dust. An ordinary hairpin took 164 days
to blow away, a steel nib lasted 15 months,
a common pin took 18 months to vanish
and a polished needle two and a half
years.
This is a subject that has puzzled man
kind ever since the first paper of pins
was unfolded.
The doubter, and he is ever with us, is
recommended to gaze at a common pin
steadily for 18 months and go into the
* ferrous oxide business for himself*
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
SUMMER WOOING.
fliey wept upon each other's breast
And parted neath the silvery moon;
Beside the sea, with youthful zest,
They never lost a chance to spoon.
And O the heated vows they made.
And O the love was plighted there!
And yet, we're very much afraid
Dan Cupid wore a doubtful air.
He’d heard before such couples swear
And knew quite well, once more in town,
Such episodes are soon forgot,
Of else she coolly turns him down
When next they meet, as like as not.
And neither seems to care a jot.
CROWDED CORRIDOR CONTROVERSY
"I’d have you understand, sir, that I
am not a door-mat!"
"I beg your pardon. I stepped on your
foot without thinking."
"By Christopher, sir, it’s my opinion
that you do everything else the same
way!"
MIGHT MISS IT IN THE DARK.
"It all depends on the point of view."
"Well?"
"I see where a cigarette firm advertises
free with every package of cigarettes a
'large rug’ four Inches wide."
ETERNAL FEALTY.
"Did you tell her you would love her
forever?"
"Yes. I told her I would love her till
Theodore Roosevelt became dictator of
Mexico."
________ 0
UNPLEASANT PROSPECT.
"I see an automobile for you," said the
"Hindu Princess," as she read the fu
ture.
"Where shall 1 get it?" asked the skey
tic. "Ill the middle of the back?"
y SOMEWHAT PREVIOUS.
"What sort of people are the Twob
bles ?"
"When Invited for a week-end visit they
show up bright and early on Tuesday
morning."
MUST BE AN OVERSIGHT.
"Here is a rather unusual story of Ken
tucky written by an eastern novelist."
"What's unusual about it1?"
"There .are 350 pages in the book with
out a single reference to the heroine'g
'delicious southern drawl.’ "
% _
FRIGID.
"This Is a cold audience." I
“What makes you think so?”
“The comedian can't even get a laugh
by roasting the street car company."
TYPOGRAPHICAL, ERROR.
"You must be trying to make people
think our town Is out of date."
"What wrong? In my article I said
your city was noted for Its bustle."
"You did, eh? Well, It came out In your
paper as 'bustles.' ”
HAY FEVER.
We've never come In sight of It,
And maybe never will.
But the rhymes that poets write of It
Have often made us 111,
PAUL, COOK.
RURALES OF MEXICO
From the Kansas City Star.
MOST picturesque, and also danger
ous, of the fighting men of Mexico
that United States soldiers would
have to conquer in case of intervention
are the rural police—los Rurales de la
Federation, in official language. Hard
riding, desperate fighters, these men will
give a good account of themselves against
any foe.
The rurales were orgmlzed shortly be
fore the civil war by President C'omon
fort. The nation was overrun with ma
rauding bands. The authorities were pow
erless. President Comonfort conceived the
Idea of using part of these lawless men to
etamp out the others. So the rurales were
born, a testament of the old adage that
It takes a ttiief to catch a thief.
The firs rurales were known as cuer
dados, “leather clad,” because of their
leather uniforms. Most of them turned
rebel when Emperor Maximilian usurped
the Mexican throne. They never surren
dered to the Fernch troops; never stopped
their bitter, guerilla warfare. Maximilian
organized a similar corps known as caza
deros, “hunters,” and under the leadership
of a French veteran known as El Tigre
they were his stanchest native supporters.
Under President Porfirlo Diaz the corps
was brought to its present organization
and efficiency. He continued the practice
of enlisting outlaws, and soon the rurales
won a worldwide reputation as Irregular
cavalrymen.
Some foreign military officers who have
observed the rurales class them as better
cavalrymen than the Cossacks of Russia,
the wild Hungarian hussars of the Aus
trian army or even the Arab spahees of
Egypt, whom Kipling believed the su
perior of any fighting men. American of
ficers do not rate the rurales that high
and, probably, they do not deserve such
distinguished classification.
Prior to the Madero revolution the rur
ales numbered about 3000 men. Since then
vI-’ nan uv. cn im icancu ■ i.i i
60C0, most of whom are used us patrols
along the various railroad lines.
The organization of the rurales is dif
ferent from ahy military organization In
the United States. Strictly speaking, tho
rurales are not soldiers, but policemen.
They are attached to the department do
gobernaclon, which coresponds to our de
partment or justice. The battalion forma
tion is used, each unit consisting of 200
men and known as a corps. A comman
dants, ranking with a major, commands n
corps. He has » captain, three lieutenants
and 12 sub-lieutenants, called cabos,
"chiefs,” as commissioned officers under
him. Three top sergeants, 12 sergeants,
24 corporals, nine buglers and two stand
ard bearers are the non-commissioned of
ficers.
Few corps are ever together for more
than brief periods. They will have head
quarters In a state capital and keep
‘squads of men in a dozen or more smaller
towns surrounding it. They are contin
ually patrolling the highways of the na
tion in groups of from three to a dozen.
The uniform of the rurale Is his most
distinctive feature. A private wears gray,
lorm ntting trousers, laced at the bottom
to form a legging. A short, bolero-like
jacket, also gray, Is trimmed with a single
band of silver lace down the front and
around the bottom of the jacket. A silver
ffog draws It tight Just above the waist,
allowing an inch or two of the light col
ored shirt to show. The shirts have low,'
soft collars. Crimson ties, similar to those
usually worn by comic supplement poets,
are worn. The hats are high peaked som
breros, trimmed in silver lace with the
numeral of the corps In sliver on the side.
All wear large spurs.
Officers follow- the same cut and color In
their uniforms; but each man decorates
his clothes to suit his own taste and pock
etbook. Captain Alvirez, commanding the
rurale detachment at Matamoras a few
months ago, wore so much silver lace that
only in a few spots could the gray of the
jacket be seen. A row of sliver tassels
hung from- his hat brim and a strip of
silver lace at least two Inches wide went
down the outside of each trouser leg. He
also wore a wide, red silk sword sash,
completing a uniform that for dash and
plcturesqueness could not be surpassed In
Europe.
The equipment of a rurale is simple.
Tho government furnishes him with a
Mauser carbine, a long, heavy cavalry
saber, a red serape and a horse. Each
man furnishes saddle, bridle, lariat, spins,
hunting knife and as many revolvers as
he oan afford. Ammunition Is carried In
bandoliers and belts.
The esprit du corps of the rurales is far
above that of any other Mexican military
organization. A man will accept death
gladly rather than break one of the or
ganization's unwritten laws. One of these
is that no rurale, once sent after a law
breaker, shall return to barracks until his
man is a prisoner or dpad. Most times the
prisoner dies, a victim of ley ftiga.
The rurales are the least encumbered
with baggage of any BOldlers. Each man
carries all Ills own equipment and ra
tions; no commissary wagons hinder their
movements; they scorn field hospitals. In
10 minutes a corps of rurales can be on
the march equipped with everything, ex
cept reset ve ammunition, for a year's
campaign.
Rurales never marry. That Is another
unwritten law. Mexican regular soldleis
take their women ami children wherever
they go, even on campaigns; but the
mounted policeman “kisses and rides
away like a rurale,’“as a Mexican proverb
runs.
In military drill the rurales are not ex
pert. Usually they are trained In all that
is necessary for them to know before they
enlist. Most of the recruits come from the
hard riding, sharpshooting vaqueros of
the cattle ranges. They are skilled horse
men before they are rurales. They are
marksmen with rifle and revolver both
afoot and from the saddle. They are
trained to hacking paths through 'lie
mesquite and chaparal with long bladed
machetes, which training enables them to
become proficient with the saber quickly.
A few days suffices to teach a man the
simple rifle drill and mounted evolutions
they use. Then he is a rurale.
Ill a charge against Infantry or artillery
the rurales probably would prove very In
effectual. It is doubtful if they could
clash profitably with other seasoned cav
alrymen; but in raiding, harassing and
cutting lines of communication they would
be extremely troublesome.
ii'iii .Mi ■ niitu ■ a
From the Pharmaceutical Era.
"Coffin-shaped tablets to stop fatal er
rors," Is the sensational heading employed
by a wide-awake newspaper man to call
attention To an ordinance proposed for
passage by the common council of the city
of Chicago. Tills ordinance, after making
a distinction between drugs for external
and Internal use, aims particularly at
mercuric chloride, popularly known as
"corrosive sublimate," and requires that
all tablets sold in Chicago prepared for
external use must be of distinct shape, re
sembling a coffin. Under the present
conditions, one has only to recall the re
ports of accidental poisonings he has
read In the newspapers of late to eonvinco
him that the necessity for something dis
tinguishing or characteristic method of
recognizing the most common poisonous
tablets is needed. The diqerentlution by
rtvpans of outward form is not a now
scheme, for manufacturers have not only
adopted special forms or shapes, but they
have made use of colors and Imprint de
vices to distinguish such tablets, each fol
lowing a system of his own devising and
none of the systems uniform In their ap
plication and requirements.
We believe that the solution of the
problem consists In the Incorporation in
the United States Pharmacopoeia and the
National Formulary, our two legal stand
ards, of specific definitions for shape and
size of poisonous tablets. Such a plan
will apply alike to all manufacturers and
obviate the confusion that Is bound to
continue so long as any distinguishing fea
ture or form may he used, or not, as each
individual may elect. A uniform plan of
Indicating such tablets will also serve to
educate everyone and call attention to
the toxicity of what otherwise would ay
pear to be a simple and inoffensive form
of medication.
AFTER THE VERDICT
From the Atlanta Journal.
The prosecution had a strong case
against Paddy. His hat, which all the
inhabitants could Identify, had been
found on the pAmlses. Paddy, how
eer, denied a knowledge of the head
gear, and swore that lie was not with
in a mile of the place at the time of
the outrage, and so welt did Ills wit
nesses corroborate tils statement that
he was able to prove an alibi.
Paddy was found "not guilty," but
seemed reluctant to leave the dock.
The magistrate thinking be did not
understand the verdict, explained:
"Well, my man, you are discharged,
you need not wait."
"If ye plaise, Ter Honor,” replied
Paddy, “I'm waiting for me hat."
WHEN THE RAIN COMES DOWN
By Frank L. Stanton.
When the rain comes down on the burn
ing town
The children stand and stare
From the wlndowpane on the cooling
rain—
On the drops that cluster there.
They stand In blithe and rosy crowds
As the glad rain falls from the burd
i ened clouds.
But old folks, they look sad, and say—
While the rain the casement laves
And the rosea are having a holiday:
“It’s raining on the graves!"
They think o' the friends they’ve lost,
yoti know,
Whenever the clouds are raining so.
"It's the way with the old,” some say;
and yet
I sometimes wonder why
God don't soothe them, and make them
forget
The graves 'neath the rainy sky.
Say to them: "Tonder the skies are fair;
Never a cloud or a grave up therel"
-