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The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, August 16, 1913, Image 4

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K. W. dAHBBTT.Editor
Entered at the Birmingham, Ala.,
postolliee as second class matter undci
act of Congress March 3, 18,11.
Daily and Sunday Age-Herald . 18.00
Daily and Sunday per month ... ‘0
Daily and Sunday, three months.. 2.00
Weekly Age-Herald, per annum .. _ ,u0
Sunday Age-Herald . ^.OO
A. J. Eatorg Jr., 6nd O. E. Young are
the only authorized traveling repre
aehtutives of The Age-Herald in Ha
circulation department.
No communication will be published
Without its author’s name. Rejected
manuscript will not be returned unless
stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
Remittances can be made at current
rate of exchange. The Age-Ucald will
hot be responsible for money sent
through the malls. Address
Birmingham, Ala.
Washington bureau, 20( Hlbbs build
European bureau, 5 Henrietta stred,
Covent Garden, London.
Eastern business office, Rooms 48 tu
60, Inclusive, Tribune building, New
York city; Western business office,
Tribune building, Chicago. The Si- C.
Beckwith Special Agency, agents for
elgn advertising.
Bell (private exchange connecting all
icpnrtuientm, Main 4900.
By d«ed-achieving; honour newly
Mam'd. —< oriolnnus.
The Government Derelict
At a convention of the International
Brotherhood of Stationary Engineers,
held in Pittsburg, President Healy
told the delegates that the poorest
paid powerhouse employes in the
country are in the government build
ings, and that they have not received
a wage increase in 20 years. Mr.
Healy told of many visits to Wash
ington, made in hopes of remedying
the situation, but nothing has been ac
complished. Everybody is in favor of
raising the pay of these faithful em
ployes, hut they go on year after year
drawing the same stipend.
Viewed in one light, the wages of
tit* engineers working for the gov
ernment have been gradually dimin
ished. The purchasing power of the
sums they draw constantly becomes
less and less. In 20 years the cost of
living has been increased to an enor
mous extent. Therefore, measured in
the actual value of their wages to
themselves and their families, govern
ment powerhouse men, instead of
prospering with the country, have
been victims of that prosperity.
A whole lot of red tape must be
unraveled before these employes can
be given an increase in wages. No
body contends that they are not en
titled to it. Our cumbersome, inef
ficient methods are at fault. Hope
still has the habit of springing
eternal. There may come a change
some day.
The 1914 Skirt
The Chicago Garment Manufactur
ers' association is in sesion, and the
styles for 1914 are being decided on.
The association claims that the fash
ions it fixes are authorative. Thus a
preliminary prospectus of its inten
tions becomes of great interest.
“Hamlet without Hamlet,” or “you
can have your cake and eat it,” will
be the “motif’’ of madam’s garb next
fall, it is prophesied. There will be
slits without any opening, shadow
skirts without any view. It will be a
season of compromises.
But no one is sounding any retreat,
it is declared. Skirts will be just as
thin and just as slit as they are this
year, but with a difference. A,propa
ganda for the concealment of hosiery
is to be promulgated. A gown with
rows of ruffles and flounces running
around the bottom has been devised.
The skirt is slit and of transparent
texture, but the thick circles of flounc
ing make for impenetiability of vision.
And then there is u be the tango.
This, according to advance descrip
tions, is to be built along the architec
tural lines of the coat shirt. That is, it
buttons around instead of going on
over the head. It lias the added ad
vantage of an elastic slit, a sliding
scale of frankness. The wearer can
leave as many of the lower buttons
unbuttoned as her sense of modesty
will permit.
The Burns Manuscripts
Europe resents the raiding of its
libraries and art galleries by Ameri
can millionaires, and a concerted
movement has been begun to keep
the rare treasures of literature,
painting and sculpture on the other
side of the Atlantic. J. Picrpont Mor
gan spent many millions in the pur
chase of art, and masterpieces of the
world's masters are now on view for
the citizens of this new nation. Hoe
spent a life time in collecting famous
books and manuscripts, and the Hoe
library, before its distribution through
sale, was one of the world’s greatest.
The older countries were gradually
being denuded of their most precious
possesions. The rich men of Europe
could not compete with Americans in
financial battle for these cherished
possessions. Pride could not measure
swords with purse.
Recently, howeve , the courts have
been called upon to prevent the ar
tistic and literary enrichment ol
America at- the expense of England
The Liverpool Athenaeum sought tc
dispose of the Glcnriddel collection ol
Manuscripts of the poet Burns! and il
was sold to a London dealer for an
American purchaser. The dealer has
now been warned not to part with the
precious papers for the present.
The action in the courts, it is given
out, will be based upon the contention
that the manuscripts, which were
presented to the Athenaeum over a
century ago by Dr. Currie, had only
been loaned to him, and that they now
belong to the nearest heir of the poet,
who is Miss Annie Burns.
Even should Dr. Currie’s ownership
be established, it is said, it will be
set up that the Athenaeum, which re
ceived them from his widow as an
unconditional gift, virtually coven
anted to keep th, m perpetually and
had no authority to dispose'of them.
The Tariff Vote
Senator Works, Washington dis
patches say, has left the national cap
ital for his home in California to be
gone until December. He will not be
on hand when the final vote is taken
on the Underwood-Simmons bill, and
he is not paired with a democrat.
This fact gives greater assurance
of the passage of the tariff measure
in its present form. Til? eath of Sen
ator Johnston and the illness of Sena
tor Culberson had caused apprehen
sion among the democratic leaders in
the Senate. It now appears that the
bill is safe, even should Alabama and
Texas be represented by only one sen
ator each at the crucial test.
The hegira of Senator Works and
his failure to arrange for a pair is
indicative that the progressive repub
licans are not irreconcilably opposed
to the Underwood-Simmons bill. It
will be remembered that when the
Payne-Aldrich bill was pending some
of the most virile attacks upon it.
were made by republicans, notably
LaFollette and the able Dolliver. In
the final analysis, a vote against the
Underwood-Simmons measure is a
vote for a continuation of the Payne
Aldrich schedules.
All along it nas Deen susjeciea mat
the democrats could command the
vote of Poindexter of Washington,
should it be needed. Crawford, Gron
na, Norris, LaFollette and others also
may be brought to realize that the bill
now under consideration is superior to
that on the statute books. It had been
the hope of President Wilson and oth
er leaders, however, to pass the bill
without having to depend upon sup
port from outside the party. This
could be easily accomplished were it
not for the recalcitrancy of the two
senators from Louisiana.
A Flyless Boston
The health commissioner of Boston
announces that the Hub is now practi
cally a flyless city. A systematic
campaign of 18 months has done the
work. What has been accomplished
there can be accomplished elsewheie.
A thorough understanding that the
fly is an enemy of the public and a
determination to treat it as such art
all required to eliminate it. *
“Compelling the cleaning of stables
every 24 hours and requiring the use
of covered garbage cans do not seem
harsh measures tv difficult to enforce
with the aid of the police,” remarks
the Baltimore News. Both these serve
to deprive the fly of the most favora
ble breeding places.
The disappearance of the fly fs not
to be brought about by a miracle.
Common sense and co-operation are
the means by which it is to qccur.
Tile Houston Post says some of the
Texas legislators are complaining because
the newspapers ilo not praise them
enough. Holy smoke! The egregious van
ity of some individuals is hyperbolic.
A professor of the University of Chl
cngo says a woman never discovered any
thing of value to the human race. Well,
whoever discovered that professor Is not
entitled to any extra large medal.
The Wisconsin legislature drank over
$500 worth of water during the last session.
Tills will not be considered extravagant
when one things of Senator Stephenson's
chewing gum bills.
“Girl Battier Gone; Her Clothes Found,”
reads a headline. It does not necessarily
mean that she has been drowned. She
may have merely gone for a little stroll
along the beach.
A statesman who is at present on the
job in Washington wears a silk suit that
weighs only a few ounces. We are very
much afraid that it’s a silnouette suit.
“Sinister influences” may be trying to
bring on a war with Mexico, but there is
a surprising amount of common sense to
be found in high prices these days,
A man in this part of the country who
wears a smile on tils face at 2 o'clock in
the afternoon in the middle of August is a
Ired-in-the-bone optimist.
A humorous artist calls atention to the ,
fact that two fat people can do the tur- j
key trot quite modestly. Embonpoint keeps \
them apart.
Atlanta can gel as much advertising out !
of a murder trial as Birmingham could
out of an armor plate factory.
It takes all kinds of people to make a
world, Including those who don their bath
ing suits and tango by the sea.
Mr. Huerta must have been terribly sur
prised when the United States failed to i
tremble at his frown.
. It should be borne in mind that Mr.
Lind e mining Interests are not located in
A "war lobby” Is the latest. Let us
hope it does pot develop a MulkalL
T Ire fact that John Lind is a one armed
man will not prevent him from handling
Huerta seems to have considerably more
discretion than jingoes gave him credit
These are the nights for star gazing.
FirrioN the hills
Prom the South Atlantic Quarterly.
The “typical home'' of the “mountain,
whites,” the rougn and ill-kept cabin,
which appears so often in current litera
ture. is preposterous. Such may be a typi
cal cabin, although the unrepresentative,
the worst cabin of all, is usually shown;
but cabins constitute only a small percen
tage of the homes. Beautiful dwellings,
worth from $2(XHJ to iron, are in almost ev
F*ry community, while residences costing
from $5000 to $20,000 and even $o0,000 are
not at all uncommon. How absurdly false,
then, is the statement that “There is being
n general uplifht through the establish
ment of model homes of missionaries
through this region by many of the home
boards of northern churches."
The colonial household articles, which
are said to be in every well stocked moun
lein home,’ can scarcely he found at all.
Those who are fortunate enough to pos
s *“s them, value them, not as articles of
common use, but as heirlooms. The class
ic spinning wheel, the reel, the bake oven
and the candle molds, which are so fa
miliar in literature, have, except in rare
instances, became relics of the past, and
the mountain children know of their use
only through stories told them by their
parents and grandparents. It is true that
there are scattered here and there indi
viduals who own and operate the hand
loom to supply with home woven car
pets many who prefer this kind to any
other, though more costly modern cov
erings are in general use. In ray day I
have never known of the hand loom be
ing used for any other purpose.
Improved farm machinery—mowers,
rakes, grain drills and reapers—are in
common use everywhere. Of course,
many of the leading farmers have moun
tain lands where these machines cannot
be operated, yet, for the most part, such
land serves for grazing purposes, the val
ley land only being cultivated, in some
sections, where mining and lumbering ire
the chief industries, can be seen little
patches of corn and garden truck which
are cultivated with small, though rot
primitive, tools. Such cultivation repre
sents the a vocational rather than the vo
cational farmer. The same thing is true
of the border land of good farming com
munities where dwells the laborer on his
little plot of ground which he takes pride
in cultivating. Yet, in the main, he ob
tains his living from the nearby farmer
for whom he works.
opportunities as good as, perhaps better
than, the poor of the cities. Poverty,
squalor and degradation, such as one can
see in the slums of any large city, is very
uncommon among the mountain people ot
Virginia. There, the poor are not segre
gated. All classes attend the same
churches and the same schools. The
farmer sits at the table with his laborers,
and all partake of the same kind of food.
The land owner and the tenant visit and
mingle with each other on terms ap
proaching equality. I’nder these condi
tions, poverty Is not so galling nor such
a barrier to those aspiring to better their
From the Louisville Courier-Journal.
Speaking of a proposition to operate a
line of self propelled barges on the Mis
sissippi river, the New Orleans Pica
yune remarks that there is no reason why
water transportation should not revive
“under a proper adjustment of facilities
to meet the new conditions.”
The Picayune points out that "on the
great lakes, on the Hudson river and in
every European country where water
water transportation facilities are avail
able water borne commerce is on the in
crease an<J competes successfully with
rail transportation.’’ ,
Commerce on the Mississippi river lias
shrunk until it is a mere shadow of what
It used to be. Traffic on the Ohio river is
largely local. For a large part of the
year navigable conditions are not good on
either river, but aside from this tnere has
been a decline in the through traffic which
once made for activity all along these two
great waterways from Pittsburg to New
Orleans. Kailroad construction and com
petition are largely responsible for the
slump in the steamboat business, but the
commerce of the country Is growing and
the rivers are not carrying their proper
share of it.
It may he, as the Picayune suggests,
that there is too close adherence “to old
traditions and to obsolete types of ves
sels." In truth the types of steamboat
that are now nftist generally seen along
the Ohio and Mississippi rivers do not dif
fer materially from those of 40 years ago.
In most caseB, too, the methods of hand
ling freight have not changed. There is
no line of enterprise in the world, per
haps, in which there has been less prog
ress ll>an in stearnboatlng on these great
The improvements that are in progress
on the Ohio river give promise in future
of ull-the-year-round navigation. Tile an
ticipated early opening of the Panama
canal will, or should be, a stimulus to
river traffic. These “new conditions’’ can
not'he properly met without some radical
improvement in steamboats and steam
boating methods.
From an Exchange.
Robbie was in the habit of running
errands for an old gentleman next door
who never paid him except In effusive j
thanks. He had just returned from the j
third errand one morning and the old
gentleman, patting him on the head,
“Robbie. 1 am very much obliged to
you. You’re a fine little fellow. ^Thank
you, my boy, thank you.”
Robbie looked up In his face wist
fully and apologetically replied:
“Mr. Jones, you don’t know’ how 1
wish I could thank you for something."
From the Chicago News.
The supply of talk exceeds the demand.
Young people seem to have a monopoly
on good luck.
Do bad fish that bite on Sunday deserve
to get the hook?
But most men prefer a dimpled cheek
to a classical high brow.
It isn’t recorded that the Lord loveth
a cheerful giver of advice.
Ever notice how much fuss men make
about their honor—on the stage?
It is easier to break a man’s will than
it is to sidetrack a woman's won’t.
She is indeed a selfish summer girl who
wants a whole hammock to herself.
Isn’t it queer how many of your friends
are broke when you want to borrow a few’
Nearly everybody in a small town pre
tends to despise an amateur show—yet
nearly everybody goes.
When a man works 15 hours a day try
ing to earn money enough to buy his wife
All the fool things she wants, that is love.
Active Fall Trade
"Manufacturers and jobbers are look
ing forward with lively interest to the
rail trade," said L. T. Huffman of Phila
delphia. "Business conditions are brighter
tow than they have been for a year
"In the spring and early summer there j
svax a good deal of pessimistic feeling in
lie east. Now everybody is an opjimist.
l’he large crops have, of course, been the
msls of optimism in the business world,
but the hetter conditions in Europe have
ilso contributed largely to the bright out
ook in tills country. It is generally be
leved that prosperity in every part of
■lie United States will be in evidence from
now until the holidays.
"I have visited the south every few
years since 1895. This whole section has
progressed in a marked degree. Every
lown and city in tlie south lias grown
md as for the large cities, such as Rich
mond. Norfolk, Charlotte, Atlanta, Jack
sonville. Savannah. Memphis, Nashville,
Birmingham, Montgomery. Mobile and the
cities of Texas they are making wonder
ful strides. Atlanta and Birmingham are
probably the most . progressive and the
most rapidly growing cities.
"New Orleans, of course, will hold its
own, but it lias been depressed in the
last three years from one cause or an
other. The opening of the Panama canal
will certainly help New Orleans and Mo
bile and it should also help Birmingham
P.nd all other southern cities."
Music In the Park
"The splendid Wagner programme ren
dered by Memoli’s band in Capitol park
Thursday night gave pleasure to the vast
crowd assembled on that occasion, hut
several of the numbers would have been
even more enjoyed than they were had
the police kept better order around the
bandstand," said a well known music
“I saw a policeman present, but he did
not seem to appreciate the importance of
preventing children from running and
romping around the band stand while the
music was being played. When the chil
dren are skipping and hopping and danc
ing the grown-ups who have come to en
joy the music are naturally annoyed and
therefore much of the enjoyment is lost.
"Another thing the police should prevent
is the fiopcdVn and coca-cola vender cry
ing his goods while the band is playing.
He could pass through the crowd quietly
with his wares without disturbing any
one and when the band is not playing lie
might shout out as much as he pleased,
but lor him to yell during the performance
of the mqsic is simply intolerable. I hope
Chief Bodeker will give these matters at
tention. The band will play only a week
or two longer and it is hoped proper de
corum will be enforced throughout the
rest of the summer."
Men'M Headgear
"A forerunner of fashionable headwear
for men was the occasion of much criti
cism at the ball game," said a club man.
"One* of Birmingham's ‘400’ appeared in
one of the boxes with an olive green Sin
nett straw.
"This style has already been given the
seal of approval by the world's fashioif
experts, it is useless to mention that
Birmingham’s toggery shops will show
this style the coming season, as Birming
ham has won the reputation of being the
south's fashion center."
Large (rO|m in Alabama
"The summer is nearly gone and we will
soon know the size of Alabama's crops,"
said a prominent citizen. "In most parts
of the state the seasons have been fine
for cotton and other crops.
"There is every promise of Alabama’s
cotton crop being next to the largest, if
not the largest, ever produced. We will
probably have a 60,000,000 bushel corn crop
and l would not be surprised to see it go I
even above that. Up to two years ago!
the state was doing fairly well, it was
thought, to produce 40,000,000 bushels, but
in 1911 we had a 60,000,000 bushel crop and
last year about a 55,000,000 bushel crop.
About the same acreage was planted this
year as last, and as the farmers are learn
ing to make more of everything to the
acre, my guess is that there will be about
a 66,000,000 bushel yield.
"As the drouth has injured the corn
crop in Kansas and other western corn
states, the price will be high, and Ala
bama will profit accordingly. Within the
next two or three years this state should
get up to 100,000,000 bushels a year."
The Iron Market
Matthew Addy & Co.’s Cincinnati re
port, just issued, says in part:
"There is a very general feeling that
the storm is over and that from now on
there will be fairer weather in the iron
trade. Prices are firmer and higher. The
vey low prices in Birmingham have dis
appeared. As good a sign of the times as
any is to be found in the fact.that already
there is an inquiry for 1914 delivery
some orders for this forward shipment
have been booked.
"Business this wegk has been of fair
volume and well scattered. There have
been no transactions of the first magni
tude, but a great many small orders, and
full asking prices have been obtained.
In the south there is a noticeable de
cline in production. An unusual numbei
or furnaces there are out of blast from
one cause or another, but none of them
are in a hurry to resume operations, as
the present market is not attractive. In
the north the high price of coke is going
to put out some furnaces and keeji out
others which might otherwise go in. Un
doubtedly there is an improvement in de
mand. Liberal buying of late has allowed
the furnaces to ship freely and in conse
quence there is a better feeling, but much
lost ground must be regained before
every one is happy."
The Advertiser's ,\ew Editor
"It is now William T. Sheehan, editor
of the Montgomery Advertiser," said Her
voy W. l.aird, l’or many years a newspa
per man In Birmingham and Montgomery.
"That is a line move for the paper. The
profession lias not had in years a man
better titled for these important duties
than Sheehan. Newspaper work is his
happiness and writing ills daily bread in
a more than material sense, if there Is
a newspaper ’spirit’ he has it. The state
is fortunate in the selection. It will he
richer for it as the days go by.
"Captain Sheehan began serious life ns
a teacher, heing Inducted into the environs
of printer's ink by former Gov. William i_i.
Jelks, and his Eufauta Times. His first
capital service was with the Montgomery
Journal, from which connection he trans
ferred to the Advertiser as reporter.
Through all the by-ways of promotion, in
new surroundings he fought up, giving
class to every step in the march. He
made his first widespread impression, how
ever, as state house man, giving to his
routine matter a distinctness that had
been hardly known up to that time. Pol
ities was easy to him and he always had
a definite line on every movement that
was of any degree of interest.
"With the demands of editorial service
grow 11 heavy. Major Screws, tha wldelj
loved and respected editor of the Adver
tiser, moved Sheehan into the front of
fice and proceeded to make an editor if
him.# It was far easier than even he a»5
ti cl pa ted, for the captain took to it with
great enthusiasm. Hard study having
been his habit for years, he had the
ground work complete. To this he added
a remarkable knowledge of men and al
faii’s, a rare Judgment of rhe value of
both, and a charm of style that is his very
own. He made good and is making good.
Alabama needs vigorous and unfaltering
editorial leadership. Unless those who
know him best are greatly mistaken,
Sheehan Is going to supply it.”
By Robert H. Ingersoll.
My Friends: l know how vain it is to
gild grief with words, and yet I wish to
take from every grave its fear. Here is
this world, w here life and death are equal
kinds, all should be brave enough to meet
what all the dead have met. The future
has been filled with fear, stained and pol
luted by the heartless past. From the
wondrous tree of life the buds and blos
soms fall with ripened fruit, and in the
common bed of earth patriarchs and babes
sleep side by side.
Why should we fear that which will
come to all that is? We cannot tell, we
do not know, which is the. greater blessing
—life or d&ath. We cannot say that death
is not a good. We do not know whether
the grave is the end of this life or the
door of another, or whether the night
here is not somewhere else a dawn.
Neither can we tell which is the more for
tunate—the child dying in its mother s
arms, before its lips have learned to form
a word, or he who journeys all the length
of life's uneven road, painfully taking the
last slow steps with staff and crutch.
Every cradle asks us “Whence?” and
every coffin “Whither?” The poor bar
barian, weeping above his dead, can an
swer these questions just eh wrell as the
robed priest of the most authentic creed.
The tearful ignorance of the one is as con
soling as the learned and unmeaning
word8 of the other. No man, standing
where the horizon of a life has touched
a grave, has any right to prophesy a fu
ture filled with pain and tears.
Maybe that death gives all there is of
worth to life. If those we press and strain
within our arms could never die, perhaps
that love would wither from the earth.
Maybe this common fate treads from out
the paths between our hearts the weeds
of selfishness and hate. And l had rather
live and love where death is king than
have eternal life where love is not. An
other life is nought unless we know and
love again the ones who love us here.
They who stand with breaking hearts
around this little grave need have no fear.
The larger and the nobler faith in all that
is and is to be tells us that death, even at
its worst, is only perfect rest. We know
that through the common wants of life—
the needs and duties of each hour—their
grief will lessen day by day, until at last
this grave will he to them a place of rest
and peace—almost a joy. There is for
them this consolation—the dead do not
suffer, if they live again, their lives will
surely be as good as ours. We have no
fear. We are all children of the same
mother, and the same fate awaits us all. j
We, too. have our religion, and it is this:)
Help for the living—Hope for the dead.
novelists who smoke
Sir A. Conan Doyle is a great lover
of the pure cigarette; so. too, is the
famous Sir Gilbert Parker, whose fine
romantic stories enjoy such widespread
popularity, and his study is Invariably
made aromatic with the smell of it
while he is at work says Tit Bits.
Another brilliant writer of Action,
whose genius is closely bound together
with the mild cigarette, is It. Hichens,
one of the best and most popular
authors. *
The late Robert Barr was Immensely
fond of the cigarette, and but rarely
settled himself down to any task with
out first making sure that his cigarette
case was at his elbow.
E. F. Benson, the famous author of
“Dodo,“also enjoys a cigarette, and is
fond of declaring that he finds it a
great help, as well as a most pleasing
companion, when he is hard at work
with his pen.
Very few of our popular writers of
fiction favor a cigar, probably finding
the mouth end of it much too thick
to hold between the lips with any de
gree of comfort when at work. Mr.
Arthur Morrison, however, seeks com
fort and inspiration in a good cigar.
G. K. Chesters(jn can also be brack
eted with Mr. Morrison in favor of the
The pipe is the special favorite
among most of our popular writers
writers of fiction. Cutcliffe Hyne, the
famous author of “Captain Kettle and
other exciting stories of peril and ad
venture, is a great lover of the pipe,
and nearly always has it In use, es
pecially when he is carrying his gun
on his arm, which is his favorite out
door Dastime.
Max Pemberton Is also very fond of
his pipe and but very seldom takes up
his pen to write without having it be
tween his teeth.
Probably the greatest of all humor
ous writers of sea sea stories is W. W.
Jacobs, whose immensely popular yarns
always create an abundance of good,
hearty merriment and jovial pleasure.
He is also a believer in his dearly be
loved briar.
ft. Andom, the wrell known author of
that amusing book, “We Three and
Troddles,” is another humorous writer
who loves a pipe. He confesses that he
cannot write unless a peculiar shaped
briar is at hand, and that he always
smokes one particular brand of tobacco.
From the National Food Monthly.
The patter of tiny feet was heard from
the head of the stairs. Mrs. Kinderby
raised her hand, w'arning the others to si
“Hush!” she said, softly. “The chil
dren are going to deliver their good night
j message. It always gives me a feeling
I of reverence to hear them—they are so
much nearer the Cerator than we are, and
they speak the love that is in their little
hearts never so fully as when the dark
has come. Listen!”
There was a moment of tense silence.
“Mamma.” came the message in a shrill
whisper, “Willie found a bedbug!"—
From the New’ York Globe.
Upon the occasion If his first visit to
a parishioner a certain Boston divine
tried hard to make friends with his
host's 8-year-old.
“How old are you, my son?” asked
the clergyman benignantly.
“Eight,” was the laconic response.
“Ah, quite a little man,” came pa
tronizingly from the minister. “And
what are you going to be?" he added,
after a slight pause.
I am going to be 9,” said the child,
with conviction.
"Is there anything as scarce as hen's
teeth, pa?’’
"Yes. son. Optimism in Wall street."
"is Blinks a hard drinker?"
"No. It seems quite easy tot him."
A ffsh diet is said to be good for the
'No'doubt that's true. Merely trying to
catch a iish greatly stimulates the imag
Here's to the landlord by the sea.
Whose life is gay and sunny,
The world's ambition seems to be
To come and hand him money.
—Washington Star.
But when the crowd has come and paid '
And proved such easy picking,
He would not sleep well, we re afraid,
If he could hear them kicking.
"Ah! Such Is fame!"
"Why these tears?"
"Do you see that tveed-grown grave,
neglected and forlorn?”
‘ There lies a man who was once the
checker champion of Juniper county.”
"Is the man who takes his wife out
rhllng on the rear of his motorcycle un
kind to her?”
‘ I'm—well, I don't suppose he intends
to be unkind.”
AA bite the Hon. Ed. Howe of Kansas
was making his last trip abroad he was
some women on shipboard take part In a
potato race. One woman fell down and
the lingerie display was very instructive
to all the single gentlemen present. Forth
with Brother Howe added to his "Travel
Notes" the statement that "there is some
thing wrong with every woman's flgure.’*
He should have paused to reflect that
every woman doesn't take part In a po
tato race.
Here we are, gentlemen; here's the whole
gang of us,
Pretty near through with the job we
are on; •*,
Size up our work—it will* give you tho
hang of us—
South to Balboa and north to Kplon.
Yes, the canal is our letter of reference;
l>ook at Culebra and glance at Gatun;
What can we do for you—got any pref
Wireless to Saturn or bridge to the
Don't send us back to p life that is flat
We who have shattered a continent's
Office work—Lord, but we couldn’t do that
Haven’t you something that's more in
our line?
Got any river they say Isn’t crossable?
Got any mountains that can't be cut
W€■ specialize in the wholly impossible.
Doing things "nobody ever could do!"
Take a good look at the whole husky
crew of us.
Engineers, doctors and steam-shovel
Taken together you’ll And quite a few
of us
Scon to be ready for trouble again.
Bronzed by the tropical sun that is blls
Chuckful of energy, vigor and tang.
Trained by a task that’s the biggest in
Who has a job for this Panama gang?
—Berton Braley In Collier's.
Alfred Noyes is not the only poet who
makes a comfortable living by writing
verse. Berton Braley easily keeps out of
the poorhouse on this side of the At
lantic by his poetic activities. The dif
ference between the two is that critics
sav Poet Noyes is retrograding, while tlie
Pegasus of Poet Braley doesn’t show the
slightest symptoms of being winded. Mr.
Braley Is prolific and, what is more, he is
readable. PAUL COOK.
~ -«- ■■■■ ■. •
J. E. Murphy, in the Popular Mechanics
THE versatility and wide J*ange of
usefulness of the gyroscope is strik
ingly shown in some of its latest
applications. As a means for preventing
rolling in ships the gyroscope is a proved
success, while the gyro-compass has
passed the experimental stage and is in
successful use on some of the largest
ships afloat.
The gyroscope stabilizer for aeroplanes
has been developed in all its details and
has recently been installed on an aero
plane for practical test. The most recent
advances in the use of this device are the
control of guns on hoard of a warship so
that the guns are simultaneously aimed
from the lookout in volley firing, and the
control of a mirror used as an artificial
horizon for making observations at sea.
The success of the gyroscope for holding
a monorail car level Is unquestioned ex
perimentally, and its failure to come into
practical use is due to other causes than
any Inefficiency in the device.
Although these applications of the gy
roscope seem to have little or no relation
to each other, they are all based on just
one feature of gyroscopic action. In short,
there is one big fact in connection wltlf
the gyroscope that explains every phase
of f18 action.
That fact is precision.
The gyroscope is particularly adapted to
use as a stabilizer of ships, since Its ef
ficiency does not depend on any regular
period of rolling. Under most conditions
the rolling of a ship takes place as an
irregular series of light and heavy rolls,
each series starting from practically noth
ing, Increasing to a maximum, and then
decreasing to a minimum, after which
another series starts. It is this irregular
rolling that makes difficult the use of
stabilizing tanks containing water or
other liquid, as these depend for their ef
ficiency on a pendulum-like motion of the
ship. The gyroscope, on the contrary,
acts Independently of any regular period
of rolling, and checks a roll the moment
it starts.
Not only is the gyroscope used for sta
bilizing ships, but It is also us^d for caus
ing artificial rolling, In the operation of
ice breakers and in the releasing of ice
bound ships. This action is the result of
precision In a vertical plane, exactly as
in stabilizing, and needs no further ex
When the sailing ship was succeeded by
the steamship, a great change was grad
ually made nl the shape of the hull, tor
ually made In the constant forward pres
sure of the propeller was radically differ
ent from the sidewise or diagonal pressure
of the sails. As great a cnange may be
brought about by the gyroscope. With
rolljng eliminated, hulls can he built on
lines determined by the requirements of
speed alone.
From the New YpJk Telegram.
There's been a horrible back Arc re
sulting from the attacks on woman's
dress, and It's as- general as It Is
Men are being requested to wear
skirts to their bathing suits, no less
an authority than H. I). McChesney,
swimming Instructor at the University
of Wisconsin, agreedlng with the Idea.
All right, let the Wisconsin crew wear
skirts next time they come to Pough
keepsie. Our boys won't do It. We
should worry.
By the way, speaking of woman's
transparent skirts, learn from Wash
ington that Representative Padgett of
Tennessee Is wearing a silk suit of
fawn color which weighs six ounces.
There are possibilities.
Berlin anti other German towns have
decreed the summer men shall go hat
less, protect their heads with parasols
and discard coats, substituting blouses
cut after the fashion of a schoolboy s
What's the use of halfway meas
ures? Bring on the skirt and the sun
shade and those earrings they were
talking about awhile ago, and let's
have it over with.
From the New York Press.
Lem—Women in Louisville who wear
split skirts are to be arrested.
Clem—Won*t that be unconstitutional?
Lem—No. The constitution only gives
the right to bear arms.
By Kate Putnam Osgood.
OUT of the clover and blue-eved grass
He turned them Into the river lane;
One after another he let them pass,
And fastened the meadow bars again.
Under the willows and over the hill
He patiently followed their sober pace;
The merry whistle for once was still,
And something shadowed the sunny face.
Only a boy! and Ills father had said '
He never would let bis youngest go;
Two already were lying dead
Under the feet of the trampling foe.
But after the evening work was done.
And the frogs were loud in the meadow swamp,
Over his shoulder he swung his gun
And steadily followed the foot-path damp.
Across the clover and through the wheat, ,
With resolute heart and purpose grim,
Though cold was the dew to the hurrying feet.
And the blind bat's flitting startled him.
Twice since then had the lane been white.
And the orchards sweet with apple bloom;
And now when the cows came back at night,
The feeble father drove them home.
For news had come to the lonely farm
Thai throe were lying where two had lain;
And the old man's tremulous, palsied arm
Could never lean on a son's again.
The summer days grew c0U and late,
He went for the cows when the work was done.
But down the lane, as he Opened the gata,
He saw them coming, one by one—
w Brlndle. Ebony, Speckle and Bess,
Shaking their horns In the evening wind;
Cropping the buttercups oul 0f the grata—
But who was It followlngclose behind?
Loosely swung In the Idle air
The empty sleeve of army blue;
And worn and pale, from the crisping hair
Looked out a face that the father knew.
For southern prisons will Sometimes yawm,
And yield their dead Into nfe again;
And the day that comes with a cloudy dawn
In golden glory at last may wane.
The great tears sprang to their meeting ayes;
For the heart must speak wt,en the Up* are dumb.
And under the silent evening skies
Together they followed the cattle lunM
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