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The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, September 02, 1913, Image 4

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Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn85038485/1913-09-02/ed-1/seq-4/

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j j\V. HAKHKTT..lUIKop
Kntured at the Birmingham, Ala.
postoflice as second class matter under
act of Congress March 3, 1370.
Daily and Sunday Age-Herald . |£.00
Daily and Sunday per month ... .70
Daily and Sunday, three months.. 2.00
Weekly Age-Herald, per annum .. .*>•)
gun day Age-llerald .
A. J. Eaton, Jr., and O. E. Young are
the only authorized traveling xepre
■entatives of The Age-Herald in Us
circulation department.
No communication will bo published
without its author's name. Rejected
manuscript will not be returned unless
stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
Remittances can be made at current
rate of exchange. The Age-Heraid will
Hoi be responsible for money seal
through the mails. Address.
Birmingham, Ala.
Washington bureau, 20/ liibbs build
European bureau, 6 Henrietta slree »
Covent Garden, London.
Eastern business office, Rooms 43 to
*0 Inclusive. Tribune building, New
iork city; Western business
Tribune building, Chicago. The a. G.
Beckwith Special Agency, agent* lor
•igu advertising.
Bell (private exchange conuectln* all
Eeptirtiucuiv*. Main 4000.
To wisdom he** a fool (lint will not
—Pericles, Prince of Tyre.
The Lobby Investigation
Through the sulphurous smoke of
vituperation and recrimination sur
rounding the Mulhall inquiry one fact
is apparent : So far not one of the
4800 letters turned over to the Sen
ate committee by the agent of the Na
tional Association of Manufacturers
has been impeached.
Mulhall bamboozled his employers;
in his correspondence he detailed con
versations that never occurred; he
pretended intimacy with Congressmen
he had never met; he professed an in
fluence that he never wielded. But
Just as true as all these things are
true is the fact that he was in the
capital for the purpose of bending leg
islation to the desire of the manufac
turers, and they had implicit faith
in the belief that he was serving them
McDermott and Watson are sadly
bespattered by the dirty evidence that
has been heard. The names of many
others have been mentioned, but for
the most part Mulhall’s dealings with
them occurred only in his imagination.
The appearance upon the witness
stand of James A. Emery has proven
most unfortunate to himself. Emery,
attorney for the National Association
of Manufacturers, testified flatly that
r<j>irlir.d nothing to do with the employ
ment of James E. Watson to work for
the establishment of a “tariff commis
sion.” Confronted by Senator Reed
with letters establishing absolutely
the fact that Emery was present and
was thoroughly familiar with the en
tire transaction, the witness could only
squirm in his chair and numble “I was
When President Wilson fired his
•hot at the lobbyists, he brought down
game of which he had never dreamed.
It has been found necessary to wash
• whole lot of dirty linen in public,
but a feeling of cleanliness is the re
. As Young As One Feels
The youth who attempted to arouse
f a flirtatious feeling in the ^reuut of u
I Chicago policewoman was discharged
It by a magistrate with an injunction to
V eschew all intoxicants in future. A
story that comes from Milwaukee is
different in its details, and mayhap
in its moral.
Dressed in short skirts and giggling
like school girls, three women began
flirting with two men who happened to
be deputy sheriffs, and who decided
j ' it would be a good thing to let the
district court have knowledge of 1 lie
females’ unusual giddiness. The wom
en said they were Paulina Dukowski,
60 years old; Paulina Jessewiski, 55,
•nd Alvina Spotek, 54.
“They seem to imagine they are
charming- young girl,” one of the
deputies told the court. “They have
been trying to flirt with every man
they saw.”
j The Paulinas and Alvina are old
enough to know better. But had they
been charming young girls, would they
have been arrested ?
Rules for the Cup Races
The Royal Ulster and New York
Yacht clubs have signed an agreement
setting forth the rules which will gov
Iern the races for the America's cup
' - run off Sandy Hook beginning
nbVr 10, 1914. Sir Thomas Lip
.8 again shown himself to be a
gh sportsman, yielding every
challenger, Shamrock IV, will
re 75 feet on the water line. The
Ulster representatives sought tc
be defending racer to a similai
ut the New York Yacht club in
that under the deed of gift the
ling craft can be anywhere be
55 and 90 feet at the water line,
i races will be run over a
approximately 30 miles. The
ire comprehensive, and it is be
that they provide explicitely foi
mtingency that might possibly
Each contest must be won with
hours or another trial will be
! had. If through the fault of either
vessel the other is destroyed or in
jured beyond repair and the injured
vessel is free from fault, the match
is to be awarded to her.
One or more yachts will be con
structed to take part in elimination
contests to decide which shall have the
honor of defending the famous trophy.
America’s millionaires will foot the
bill, but the humblest citizen will be
interested in the outcome of the con
test. It is a matter of patriotism.
The State Fair
Birmingham's State Fair next
month will be the greatest yet held in
Alabama. When the fairs were held
at Smith’s park some years ago they
were creditable but they were small,
indeed, compared with the fairs held
at the fair grounds at Fairviev/ in re
cent years.
One trouble with the fairs held
years ago was that the management
was always late in getting ready.
When Mr. Holcombe ".as president of
the Fair association he started in the
spring to arrange for the exhibits and
the amusements. President Burton
pursues the same policy’. He started
a little earlier than usual this year,
and before the summer was well ad
vanced he had practically everything
arranged for.
The agricultural exhibits will be
larger and more varied next month
than in any previous year. The wom
an’s department will be much more ex
tensive than ever and many other
features will surpass those of 1912,
and the fair then was the best, per
haps, up to that time.
All indications point to a recoi’d
breaking crowd in attendance. The
people of Alabama like t0 come to
Birmingham. They come in increasing
numbers year by year. October is
the great shopping month for out of
town folks and Birmingham will
present a wonderfully galla appear
ance from the 9th to the 18th of the
Mistakes of the Militants
Viscount Haldane, lord high chan
cellor of England, and himself a be
liever in equal suffrage, says Great
Britain is far from ready to confer
the ballot upon women. The cause
over there has shown retrogression in
the last few years, he thinks, and this
is attributable to the excesses of the
militants of the Pankhurst kind.
Equal suffrage is not a party ques
tion in England. Several members of
the t>resenf cabinet favor “votes for
women,” and there are advocates of
the cause to be found in the ranks of
the unionists. But a cabinet which
could agree on a bill extending the
ballot to women, as Lord Haldane
points out, could agree on no other
governmental measure, and chaos
would be the result of such a ministry.
Right now there is an unusual and
suspicious quietude among the mili
tants. This may be due to the fact
that their recognized leader, Mrs.
Emmeline Pankhurst, temporarily is
residing on the continent, but other ex
planations of the calm also are being
offered. Some profess to believe that
the militants have been forced to rec
ognize that their tactics are hurting
rather than helping the movement,
and for this reason they have laid
aside the hatchet, the sulphur match
and the dynamite. Others think that
the suffragette leaders have counseled
a truce as the result of promises of
members of the Asquith cabinet that
an equal suffrage bill will be presorted
to the commons within the next few
Whatever the reason of the quies
cence, it comes as a relief to the hec
tored and harassed leaders of govern
ment. It cannot be a calm preceding
a storm of greater violence than has
yet swept the nation. Ingenuity could
not invent deeds more sinister or non
sensical than those already resorted
to by the suffragettes.
Some of tlie newspapers of Europe can
not understand liow the I'nlted States
can maintain a policy of unselfishness to
ward Mexico. They do things differently
across tlie sea.
A hay fever convention was held al
Bethlehem, N. IT. Probably more hand
kerchiefs were sold by the local mer
chants than ever before In the satin
period of time,
A life sized portrait of cx-Congressmar
Cy Sulloway is to lie presented to tin
Mate of New Hampshire for the capltol
This may make It necessary to enlargi
the oapilol.
Even Governor Sulzer lias not yet 1ml
mated that Tammany nominated Whit
man for re-election as district attorne;
in order to bribe him not to prosecut
Pedestrian Weston has bought a farn
in Minnesota. He can take his exercisi
between crops, since walking about ovei
a farm means nothing to him.
The Columbia State lias informatloi
that the suffragette party of South Caro
Una has returned from her vacation an.
Is now hi secret caucus.
There was nothing In Hind s proposal!
to Huerta which would prevent .Colone
Roosevelt's becoming a candidate foi
president of Mexico.
So far President Huerta has not of
lered his services to bring about peaci
among the warring factions of fusion ii
New York.
Democratic postmaster* are now being
named Mr. Burleson at the rale of 32
a day. But it is a long way around.
At Sherbrooke, at Sherbrooke, about
the break o’ day, the lawyers and the
alienists are dreaming of their pay.
Paradoxical as it may sound, the fail
ure of a big distillery is reported to be
due to tight money.
The Kaiser, having cut out beer, we
are waiting to hear whether or not his
liver rejoices.
It remained for Kyle B. Price to dis
cover* that the constitution is unconsti
The consensus of opinion seems to be
that when Huerta goes he will go in a
The fact that spurious $10 and $20 bills
are in circulation need not worry many.
Prom the Electrical World.
Dr. Louis Bell, correspondent for the
Electrical World, describes in that paper
tlie progress that has been made In street
lighting in London. The lighting of
London has changed wonderfully in a few
years and in remarkable ways Part of
the metropolis is a carnival of press gas,
another part a symphony in llame arcs,
and as for ti c rest—well, if there is any
co-ordination between sound and light,
then the streets of London remind one of
the state of Babel after the grand catas
trophe. Yet one must admit that, though
the kinds are many, each after its paric
i.lar failures is good. The chief streets
<-f London are, in fact, remarkably well
lighted, and even the secondary streets
' 'liber better than in America. Tha ter
tiary lighting is not so good, however.
One good stretch of street is lighted
with high candlepower Tungsten lamps,
three grouped in a single lantern and re
placing a big arc lamp with admirable ef
fect. Beside all these the old carbon
lamps, of which some still survive, seem
about as luminous as white beams. The
gas lamps are as various and interesting
a the electric ones. Pressures are earn s-J
up to even {0 in. of water, and with, of
course, corresponding economy in gas.
The most interesting thing, however, is
the carrying of these powerful gas lamps
on cross suspension. The pipe from the
side is a solid one to which the lamp,
carried on a trolley from the suspension,
if affixed by an automatic connector so
that the lamp may#be dropped out of
connection and trollied to tho sidewalk
for inspection and repair. f
Tungsten lamps are seen everywhere,
operated mostly at 220 volts, as fits tho
major part of the distribution systems.
They come from all the corner;* of the
continent, benevolently dumped perhaps
on the English market. Of course, the
host of English lamps are excellent, but
tho situation in London shows at least
one of the possible results of too much
From the Popular Magazine.
The first baseball trainer was not of the
modern, high class type. He was an ex
prize fighter, yclept Dave, whose com
plete cognomen has been swallowed lip
In the vistas of time. He was engaged
by McGraw in the spring of 1902, when
McGraw was pilot of the Baltimore team
in the American league. One of Dave s
most interesting characteristics was an
exaggerater comprehension of his duties.
Among other things, he was easily influ
enced by the vociferous mandates of t’he
fans to “kill the umpire,” and whenever
the Orioles lost, which was pretty fre
quent in those days, he would take upon
himself role of avenger. The “umpfi,”
or whatever player of the. opposing team
he considered to have done the most dam
age to the Baltimore outfit, had to suf
His method was neither heroic nor cle
gant. The irrigation and drainage facili
ties of the Baltimore ball park were
rather crude. Under onefrnd of the old
fashioned grandstand was a miniature re
production of the Erie canal, a sagging
plank representing the historic, hump
backed. old bridges. This narrow' way
all players and umpires who would reach
the clubhouse must traverse. Dave was
wont to lie In wait at that strategic spot,
hidden behind the timbers of the grand
stand. and when the object of his wrath
came with fistic range, he would cut
loose with a straight, fast one to the
jaw which would topple tlie ambushed
one into the moat below. Then, while his
victim was deeply involved in mud and
water. Dave would make a clean get
Umpire Tom Connolly, well known to
the fans of today, was a frequent aaeri
lice on the altar of Dave's fealty to Mc
Graw. He swore both oaths and ven
geance on several occasions, but Dave
was too elusive for capture or conviction.
\ A ME
From W. H. Page—A Personal Portrait.
By f. F. Marcosson, In the September
Book man.
A conference was held to determine the
character of the new magazine. Hud
yard Kipling was in this country, and be
ing a member of the so-called ”D. P.”
family, he “sat in.” Doubleday, so the
story goes, was for a magazine with a
literary flavor.
“No,” said Page; “we want a maga
zine that is live, virile, constmetive—tbat
will hi- tiie voice of the democracy.”
After he had his way the question of a
title came up. Kipling, wrho had listened
attentivelyfl spoke up;
1 “What we really want is a magazine
that deals with the work of the world.”
In a flash Pake leaped to his feet,
pounded the table (for he is very demon
: strative), and said:
“There it is—The World’s Work. Kipling
has given us our title.” And thus the in
fant was christened.
The school for scandal lias na^aca
The matchless beauty starts tile con
! How a man does enjoy spending
money If lie can’t afford It.
Most men spend more time talking it
i over than working at It.
, Some women get more joy out of a
grievance than out of a blessing.
A woman can beat a man at an argu
ment, but that proves very little.
Some men are entitled to a lot of
1 praise for the things they haven’t done.
When you find a woman who admits
. she Is ugly, believe anything she says!
Old bachelors are not all woman
haters; the majority are In the "Doubt
ing Thomas” class.
i When a man proposes to a girl she
I can act just ar surprised as If she
hadn't done It lierself.
When a woman makes a strenuous
effort to learn a secret It Isn’t for het
purpose of keeping It.
AVliat has become of the old fashioned
man who thought a woman should not
have been engaged any oftener than
she had been married, and that one
i marriage was enough for any woman?
lllrmlnahnin'* Steady (irimili
"This city lias grown rapidly since the
census of 1910." said a member of the
Chamber of Commerce. "The last school
census, taken in 1912, Indicated a popula
tion of between 150,000 and 160.000. The
rate of increase seems to have been even
greater since then.
"I am inclined to think that a conserva
tive pBtirm.tf cf Birmingham's population
now is 176,000 to 180,qp). The school census
is taken every two years. If the next
school enumeration indicates 180,000 we
tray safely count on a population of 300,
000 when the government makes a count
in 1920."
Improvements Voted by Visitors
"When I visited Birmingham three years
ago I was greatly impressed with the
solid improvements that were in prog
ress and/with the metropolitan style of the
I city," said I;. C. Seton of Philadelphia.
; "There has been marked development
since then.
"Richmond, Atlanta. Memphis and
| Nashville are glowing cities, but Birming
ham will outstrip even Atlanta in the
next few years. In the last federal cen
sus a tabulation was made of all cities
of 300,000 and upwards showing the con
solidated population Inside and outside the
city in a 10-mile limit. That consolida
tion showed Birmingham and its envirous
to be laiger than Atlanta with its
environs—212,000 in round numbers for Bir
mingham os against 208,000 in round num
bers for Atlanta."
Ceremonial In England
"In this democratic age when the
practical tilings of life crowd out much
of the romance and pageantry- In
herited from other times, it Is interest
ing ta see ceremonial revived and ex
alted in staid old 'England," said a
traveled man. "1 liaye just been read
ing an account in tile Londdli Times of
a ceremonial pageant in Westminster
abbey, it was the annual installation
of tlie knights of the order the Bath.
“Even before Queen Victoria's £8ign
tile ceremonial features of creating
knights fell Into disuse. The order of
tlie Garter, the order of St. Michael
and St. George and tlie order of the
Bath each has a quaint and impressive
ritual, but in modern times knight
hood has been conferred usually with
out ceremony—simply by the sove
reign's proclamation. King George,
however, is reviving all' the old cere
monies. When he conferred tlie order
of the Garter upon the young Prince
of Wales it was done with adgust and
elaborate ceremonial and the installa
tion of the Eights of the Bath in the
chapel of Henry VII in the old alibey
was singularly imposing—the most im
posing ceremony, according to the Lon
don Times, whicli the abbey lias wit
nessed since the coronation, 'and one
of tlie most splendid recorded even in
Its long and .splendid annals.'
"At 11:30 o’clock there was a fanfare
of trumpets and the vast congregation
which had assembled rose as the pro
cession entered Westminster at tlie
southeast door. As the procession
passed along the south aisle it con
sisted of 67 knights grand cross, fouf
officers, four reverened canons, the
very reverened dean, the ‘great mas
ter' and the sovereign of tlie order_
King George—with his pages. The pro
cession was of great lehgth, extend
I ing, as it did, from one end of the nave
I to tlie other, and 'tlie coup d'oeil, al
ways magnificent, was greatly enhanced
as at the end of the ceremony the sun
heat upon the brilliant mantels.' Tlie
sixty-seventh Psalm was sung to an old
Gregian chant, tlte choir being led by
"The ceremonial was religious
throughout. The oath which each
knight repeated before the King in
renewing his allegiance was as fol
lows: 'I will honor God above all
tilings; I will be steadfast in the faith
of Christ; I will love tlie King, my
sovereign lord, and him and hiB right
defend to my power; I will defend maid
ens, widows and orphans in their
rights, and will suffer no extortion as
fur as I may prevent it; and of as
great honor be tills order unto me as
ever it was to any of iny progeni
tors, or others. .So help me God.' ”
Hrlglat Aspect
There Is a decidedly bright aspect hi
tlie business world.” said J. E. Shelby,
president of the Cable-Shelby-Biirton Pi
ano company, who returned recently from
a three weeks' trip, including several
days spent In BnfTalo as a delegate to
the international convention of the Ro
tary clubs.
"Going north I stopped In Memphis.
My next important stop was in Chicago.
From Chicago 1 went to Buffalo, where
l attended as a delegate the convention
of the International Association of Ro
tary clubs, it was a splendid meeting,
several hundred delegates being present.
Canada, England, Scotland and Ireland
were represented in the convention. Allen
D. Albert of Minneapolis delivered a line
address, it was at once thoughtful, elo
quent and stimulating.
"I spent several days in New York city,
and returning southward stopped over
for a little while at Norfolk. All the peo
ple I met were optimists. In New York
some months ago one ran across a good
deal of pessimism, but now the situation
Is changed. New York, friends remarked
that If Congress would only finish its
work and adjourn we would have a good,
healthy boom right away.
"The further away one gets from New
York the more pronounced is the optim
ism, but it is gratifying to find that all
over the country active business this fall
is predicted. The country Is certainly
very prosperous and here In Alabama I
am expecting an unusually brisk trade
within the next few weeks.”
Motorcycle Deputies on Honda
"If I were eheriff I would put deputies
on motorcycle* on the speedway public
roads,” said a former member of the
board of revenue, "and I would arrest and
jail the flagrant law breakers.
"If there were a few example* made,
without regard to the position or Influence
of the offenders, the present menace to
life and llnvb would quickly ceaee. Of
course people out for a spin on a good
road, where there Is due regard for the
rights of others, and the law, should
be given some latitude. The trouble Is
that a devil-may-care class of chauffeurs
and owners of cars bring the whole class
of automobile drivers into 111 repute, and
are causing a spirit of strong resentment
to arise In the breasts of all classes of
•1 think that every chauffeur of a pub
lic taxicab should bo licensed, potograph
ed and put under bond to keep the law;
that would'fix moot of them.”
Regard lav »y«s Air Haste
'The park concerts this summer under
the direction' of Hr. Hemoll gave such
pleasure and aroused such enthusiasm
among music lovtrs that plans art **
ready being discussed Informally for next
year," said s prominent citizen.
"Memoli’s band was a revelation ,r»
many of us. We expected something very
good, but the best critics did not hesitate
to say that few of the concert bands that
go on tour were as good as MemoU's. ami
us for the Interpretation of the music
played in Calptol park, Mr. Memoli
proved himself to be a very master. 1
heard a gentleman who is musically ed
ucated say the other day that Mr. Me
moli was one of the finest conductors he
had ever seen. Next summer we should
have a season of 10 weeks instead of
eight, with a band of from 30 to 33 in
stead of 27. os we had this summer.
“It should be possible to have Mr.
Memoli give a series of Sunday afternoon
concerts in one of the theatres during the
fall and winter. I think it would be eas«
to organize a concert committee to sell
a certain number of season tickets that
would assure the financial success of the
George Fitch in the American Magazine.
“The crowd is off, and you hurl a few
good-bys at the travelers getting on.
Our two editors check them off as they
go. The ‘Sentinel1 and the ‘Democrat1
get all their news at this train. There’s
no slipping in and out of town In Home
burg. One and all we face the gaunt
let. Young Will Wilcox hates to have
us beg him not to miss the morning
train back, as we do three times a
week; but he simply has to go to Jones
ville that often, and we all known why,
and he knows we know'. The Parsons
are rid of their Aunt Mary at last.
She’s worse than an oyster. Put her
in a guest room and she grows fast to
it. They've had her for six months now.
Hello! Young Andy Link is going
down to Jonesville: Guess he’s got his
job back. Andy would be a good boy if
lie would only stop trying to make the
distilleries worfc nights. There goes old
Colonel Ackley on his weekly trip.
Wonder if he thinks he fools anyone
with that suit case. Ever since the
town went dry he’s had business in the
next county. Hello, colonel! Don’t
drop that case. You’ll break a suit of
clothes! Watch him glare.
“The engine has gotten Us breath by
this time. *Ever notice how human an
engine sounds when it stops after a long
run and the airbrake apparatus begins
to pant? Old Ball has been fussing for
a minute and now he yells ‘Board.’
Aunt Emma Newcomb gets in a few
more kisses all around her family. She’s
going down to the next station. The
engine gives a few loud puffs, spins its
wheels a few times, and the cars begin
moving past. Hurrah! Something do
ing today. That grocery salesman who
gets here once^a week is coming across
the square two jumps to a rod. Go it,
old man! Go it, train! Ball will al
ways stop for a woman on the fly.
There! He’s on—all but his hat. Red No
lan will keep that for him till his
next trip.
“She’s moving fast now. The brake
man hops the next to the last car with
grace and carelessness. From every
platform devoted friends and relatives
are spilling—it is a point of honor ifl
Homeburg to remain with your loved
ones in a car as long as you dare before
leaping for life. The last car sweeps by.
The red and green lights begin to grow
smaller with businesslike promptness.
There is a parting cla’tter as the train
hits the last switch frog two blocks
xway. Then It s over. The noise, bus
tle, confusion, and joyful excitement
follow the flying cinders out of town,
and silence resumes its reign. I’ve never
heard anything so still as Homeburg
after the 4:11 has pulled out."
Prom the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
A fat woman with a family umbrella
obstructed the view ot a lot of people at
a sham battle In Columbus, and the Ohio
State Journal comments in this spirited
fashion on her absolute refusal to taki
down the obstruction: *
“Really it would have been unlawful 10
snatch that umbrella, from tier hand, but
there would have been a certain justice In
it. She had no right to occupy a portion
of the air so that the view ot others was
cut off. She had no more right to do
this than she would have to go In your
garden and carry off a mess of corn or to
matoes. The right of man to the air
view, the air pure, Hie air quiet, is as
absolute as he has to the stove in his
kitchen or the apples In his orchard. Ig
norance doesn't see this, and so ignorance
Is the seat of much pt the meanness of
the world.”
Of course the editor Is absolutely right,
but If there Isn't a fat woman with an
umbrella ramping on his doorstep long
before this, a lot of readers will be as
By Francis Mahoney.
With deep affection,
And recollection,
1 often *hink of
Those Sliandon bells,
Whose sounds so wild W'Wllil,
In the days of childhood,'
Fling round my cradle
Their magic spdlls.
On this I ponder
Where'er I wander,
And thus grow fonder,
Sweet Cork, of thee;
With thy bells of Sliandon,
That sound so grand on
Tlie pleasant waters
Of the River Lee.
I've heard bells chiming
Full many a clime In,
Tolling sublime in
Cathedral shrine,
While at a glib rate
Brass tongues would vibrate—
Spoke naught Jlke thine;
For memory, dwelling
On each proud swelling
Of the belfry knelling
Its bold notes free,
Made the bells of Sliandon
Sound far more grand on
The plbasant waters
Of the River Leo.
I've heard bells tolling
Old Adrian’s Mole In,
Their thunder rolling
Prom the Vatican,
And cymbals glorious
Swinging uproarious
In the gorgeous turrets
Of Notre Dame;
But thy sounds were sweeter
Than the dome of Peter
Flings o’er the Tiber,
Pealing solemnly—
0 the bells of Shandon
Sound far more grand on
The pleasant waters
Of the River Lee
There’s a bell In Moscow,
While on tower and kiosk O
In Saint Sophia
The Turkman gets,
And loud In air
Calls men to prayer
From tapering summits
Of tall minarets.
Such empty phantom
1 freely grant them;
But there’s an anthem
Mors dear to me—
’Tie the bells of Shandon,
That sound so grand on
The pleasant waters
Of the. River Lea, ~
Though Hummer's dreams were passing
And Summer’s skies were blue,
And green the grass beneath our feet,
And fair the blossoms, too.
We shall not weep to see her go,
Who long to hear again
The whistling winds of winter blow,
The roar of winter rain.
“There isn’t much variety to Miss
Pounder's playing^'
“Why not?”
She knows but one tune.”
“Yes, but she strikes so many wrong
notes that her playing really has endless
“I believe I’ll go down the street and
see if I can get a dollar out of old Mr.
Stubblechin for the free lee fund.”
“You d better take along a stick ot
“What for?”
“To blast with.”
“Henry, if you stay out late tonight 1
•shall certainly speak to you.”
“Very well, my dear. If you wtfl con
line your remarks to ‘Howdy do’ I shall
be very grateful.”
The jolliest man
We ever met
Was up to his ears,
He said, in debt.
“Your wife seems very fond of her
"Yes. Why, she even thinks the con
founded little brute has superior fleas.”
To smell a steak upon the Are
Would make his senses swim,
The rattle of a knife and fork
Was music sweet to him.
While in his sleep he dreamed he dined
On cates from morn to night.
And never felt his stomach swell,
Or grow' the least bit tight.
• I -
“Wilke bet Dilks $5 this: morning thaj^
Dobbs would put bis feet on his desk be
fore he had been at work half an hour.**
“Who won?” f,
“Wilks did. He was betting on a cer
tainty because be knew that Dobbs was
wearing a new pair of silk socks that *
cost him three dollars.” ?
“Here's a nickel, but I'm afraid you f
will use It to buy whiskey.”
“Never fear, mum. I‘ve taken some big
chances in my day, but I ain't never yet
tackled any booze that could be bought i
for a nickel a drink.”
An able man
Was William Binks; t
Could navigate
With fourteen drinks.
—Birmingham Age-Herakl
A hrilliant man
Is Walter Plums;
Gets all lit up
On seven rums.
—Cincinnati Enquirer.
- t'K
“I suppose you consider your vacation
a success?”
"Sure. I got a coat of tan. was dou
ble-crossed by a fair female and spent all*
my money.”
the swatting season.
Bright, shining hours do we devote
To swatting Hies and bugs. f
But nothing seems to get our goat
Like swatting parlor rugs. %
—Youngstown Telegram.
We hate to swat the parlor rugs,
But really, on my soul, • V
It is a snap to him who lugs
In both the wood and coal.
—Los Angeles Express.
The lugging in of coal and wood
We’d rather do, by far.
Than stand out in the boiling sun
And crank a balky car. {
—Gravid Rapids Press. ^
We have no balky car to crank—
’Tis not one of our needs.
But often when a boy we shrank
From the job of pulling weeds.
Prom the Kansas City Star.
ON the Hohewig or main street of
Interlakan, standing Tar back
from the street, is a large, pic
turesque building which nestles among
trees and flowers, it looks like the res
idence of some wealthy personage who
comes to the Switzerland resort every
year. A large veranda stretches from
one end of the house to the other. In
the center of* the well k*pt garden Is a
beautiful fountain banked with flowers.
Winding paths lead here and there about
the garden. The whole is surrounded by
an Iron fence which gives it an appear
ance of privacy and exclusiveness. Just
across the street from fhis place there
Is a sign which reads “Kursaal."
I wondered at the sign the fi#st day
I walked along the Hohewig and finally
came to the conclusion that it pointed
the way to some street. A few minutes
later ,1 met some friends I had run
across several times after we had landed
at Naples. We walked around the quaint
little town composed chiefly of hotels.
And the girl suggested that after dinner
that night we should go to the Kursaal.
“What is that?" I inquired. They had
just come from Hucerne and were famil
iar with the ways of Switzerland.
“Wait and see,’ was the reply. So
after dinner 1 met her and her unde and
we started down the Hohewig. We
stopped in front of the exclusive looking
residence that 1 had noticed that after
noon. Off at one side was a small ticket
office, with a sign notifying tourists that
an admission fee of one frajie was
charged to go into the Kursaal. Tickets
were bought, and I turned inquiringly
to see where we were to go. To my sur
prise we started straight through the
gates into the garden. A uniformed at
tendant stood just inside and smiled and
greeted us politely as we entered.
We wandered up the path toward the
building, which was brilliantly lighted.
The music of an orchestra could he
heard. The great veranda was filled with
small tables and at one end a large or
chestra was playing. We sat at a table
and listened to the music, which was un
usually good. When a piece was finished
we started to applaud. We were alone in
our demonstration. Others looked at us
curiously and one or two began to «lap
in a half hearted way.
After several pieces had been played
an intemission was announced and every
one started toward a large, brilliantly
lighted room just off the veranda. We
followed the general exodus and came
into an elegantly furnished room. There
were two large tables in the center,
around which men and women were sit
ting. Between these tables was a rou
lette wheel and a man was calling in a
monotonous tone. The clink of coins,
could be heard, but that and the voice
of the man by the wheel was the only
I walked up to one of the tables, which
was covered with green cloth like a
billiard table. On It were marked a nunj
ber of squares with the names of various
cities written in them. Coins were being
tossed on to these squares. Tho man by
the wheel whirled a small rubber ball,
which sped around the glazed circle,
Slowly it settled into a small depression
(at the center. The man called some
j tiling and coins were raked In by the
' croupiers at the tables and others tossed
out to those who had won.
i "Gentlemen, make your plays." called
i the man at the wheel In French. Coins
slid onto the various squares.
“The plays are made," he called again.
As the ball circled nearer the center he
cried again, "No more plays,” and when
it had settled Into one of the depression?
he call 'the winning numbers, such as
"Berlin. Red. First class." This meant
that the squares marked Berlin, red and
first class, had all won.
So this was a roulette room. I had
r6ad of Monte Carlo. Tills was merely
a small edition of that famous place.
There was no excitement. Well dressed
men and women sat a:ound the tables
and quietly made their plays. If they
lost or won It was all the same. One
could not tell by their expression
Whether they were lucky or unlucky.
Most of them seemed to have some kind
of system which they played. They
studied the table Intently and then placed
their bets. Now and then astourlst would
go up and make a smal^Set and watch
Ids coin disappear into the pile, by the
croupier. Some were lucky and won sev
eral francs. But usually the bank canie
out ahead. One serious faced young man
evidently a Frenchman was there every
night, playing as If It were his sole busi
ness. One night he had quite u pile of
money by lrlm; the next time he lost
The croupiers were bored looking per
sons, \v ho raked in the money in the
most offhand manner, and shot out coins
to the winners with a nonchalant air.
liach held a stick resembling a small ,
rake. The handle was very limber to
facilitate In corailing the coins. And no
matter how many bets were placed, the
croupier could tell instantly who had won
ami v.bo lost.
'1 here are three banks in Interlaken.
The maximum bet Is five francs, so. na
great fortunes are won or lost as an
Monte Carlo. But quite a neat sum can
I be lost In one night, even at that.
[ W hen the orchestra began again, many
ieft 'the room, but the serious players
remained, and now and again could lie i
heard tin- monotonous voice of the caller.
Tile gaming room is a luxuriant apart
ment. everything Is done to add to the
comfort of the players. Off this room
is, of course, a bar. But no noisy crowd i
was gathered m there. It was practl
cully deserted. The drinks are served
out on tlie veranda by trim little bar
maids. 'Next the liar is a magnificent
ballroom and In the height of the .season )
many festive dances are given there, at
tended by a cosmopolitan erbwd. There
are also billiard rooms, reading rooms,
lounge rooms and the like.
When 1 arrived in I.ucerne and had *
been shown to my room, the concierge
1 ailed on me before 1 had hardly got my
door shut and Inquired if I did not want
io buy a Kur-Karte. This is a small ^
hook, the owner of which is entitled to
30 per cent reduction on the admission
fees to the galleries, museums, Kursaal,
various shows and other places in l,u
cerne. It costs half a franc and is good
for seven days.
The Kuisaal In I.ucerne Is on the Qual
National, a broad tree-lined walk along
the lake of I.ucerne. It Is a larger build
ing than the one In Interlaken, hut Is-not
as attractive In appearance. The admis
sion fee there is five francs, less UO per
cent, to holders of the Kur-Karte. This
admits one to the gaming rooms, tile the
atre, where vaudeville is given, and to
tile concert.
'I lie orchestra plays out lu a garden,
also filled with tables, when the weather
■permits. Handsomely gowned women
and well dressed men sat at these tables
drinking and smoking. The gaining room,
which is not nearly as (food looking as In
Interlaken, has live batiks and was doing
a rustling business. Over the wheel Is a
large electric sign which flashes the
winning numbers. Just across a wide
entrance corridor Is tho theatre, •small
hut handsome. There whh the usual
singer, educated horse, an expert, with
diavolo and other routine vaudeville acts,
Including a strong man.
After the performance I went hack
intn the suming room. A large crowd
was gathered around the taldes. At one
of them a woman could he heurd laugh
ing loudly. I wedged In the crowd and
saw a large, rather boisterous American
woman playing the game. She was evi
dently winning and was greatly excited
at her luck. An excited little French
man was showing her how to play, and
she was pitching coins here and there
recklessly. The other players appeared
to be very much disgusted at her out
bursts, but she didn’t seem to mind.
Finally she picked up her winnings and
loft. Tile others sighed audibly In re
"How much did you win?” another
American asked her.
“Twenty> francs," she replied, am}
walked out proudly.
Frm Everybody’s.
"Say, mister, where do you live?" In
quired the small brother of tho lady
upon whom Mr. Blank had called to
pay h!» weekly attentions.
"At 456 Grand avenue," replied tit
young man. “Why do you ask?'
"Oh, well," said the young iiopeful
"big sister Is wrong then, ’cause she
had pa looking you up in BracUlrtel ‘

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