K. W. ti V It K Kll.Editor
Entered at Hie Birmingham, Ala,
postoflice as second class matter under
act of Congress March 3, 187V.
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Bat we will draw the curtain, and
■how you the picture.
The New Haven Wreck
Another score and more have been
added to the death toll of the New
Haven. Tuesday’s disaster inaugur
ated the administration of Howard
Elliott, who succeeds Charles S. Mel
len, forced from the presidency of the
road by public opinion.
As was to be expected, this last
r,wreck has renewed agitation of laws
to compel the railroads of the coun
try to equip all trains with automatic
stops. Representative Levy of New
York has introduced a bill in the
House to this effect. Representative
Britten of Illinois is the author of a
resolution setting forth the fact that
a total of 469 persons have been killed
or injured on the New ^ork, New
Haven and Hartford within the past
two years, and instructing the inter
state commerce commission to make
an immediate inquiry into the cause of
the latest disaster and recommend
remedial legislation. The commission
has already begun its probe.
It cannot be denied that America’s
railroad casualties are abnormal.
Something or somebody is to blame.
The installation of automatic stops
would go far to put an end to wrecks.
But it would cost a tremendous sum
of money, and where is that money to
come from ?
Already the railroads are complain
ing that their profits are entirely too
small for the amount of money in
vested. They contend that freight
rates have been cut to such an extent j
that railroad stocks and bonds are no
longer attractive to the man who has
capital to invest. Should they be re
quired to make this additional outlay j
the result might prove disastrous.
The only solution of the difficulty |
seems authorization to increase the
charges for transportation. Confisca
tion of the carriers should be approved
The Anti-Speed Law
Thai good work is being done by the i
officials in attempting to minimize
the speed evil is admitted on all sides.
Chief Bodeker’s men are active and
alert, and they are being heartily
backed up by Commissioners E.xum
and Weatherly in the absence of
Judge Lane. Those found guilty by
the recorder are finding it hard to
obtain a remission of the amounts
assessed, and this fact is giving a
respect to the traffic ordinance that
has not been shown in the past.
There should be no slackening in the
campaign. The city is thoroughly
aroused over the situation, and will
uphold the officers of the law in their
efforts to put an end to this most
pernicious practice. The number of
automobile and motorcycle accidents
in Birmingham is out of all propor
' tion to a city of this size.
“The man who doesn’t think” must
be made to think. Those who have
been accustomed to traverse the
streets at a speed denoting reckless
abandon must be curbed. An active
police force, a just judge and a firm
commission can bring this about.
Alabama Land Values
During the past 12 or 15 years
there has been a steady advance in
land values throughout this country.
In nearly all sections farm lands have
reached higher levels of value.
The south has participated in this
advance in a very material degree.
It is easy to recall the $5 and $10
acre farm lands in Alabama. Farms
that sold for $10 an acre 20 years
ago would be considered cheap at $25
Or $30 today; and many tracts under
cultivation are reasonably priced at
$56 an acre. The time will come when
Alabama farm land will easily bring
$100 an acre.
The Alabama Land congress, which
„ will hold its second annual meeting
l \in Birmingham in November, will do
imith to exploit our agricultural re
sources. The fact is that no single
movement in recent years has done
t so much to advance agricultural niter
jp oils , in Alabama as the land con
! gress. At the forthcoming meeting a
; number of men of national reputa
tion will discuss various phases of
Most of the southern states are rich
by nature but it is safe to assert that
Alabama leads. Not only is cotton a
great money crop in this state but
corn and alfalfa and the trucking
crops can be made equally profitable.
Many movements have been started to
uplift the farmer but the Alabama
Land congress is arousing more in
terest than any similar organization
attempted in former years. This con
gress will be largely attended and
while it is primarily in the interest of
agriculture, values of all sorts will
be promoted by it.
The Rising Markets
In one month the condition of the
cotton crop fell ffo 11.4 per cent, and
August 25 was only 68.2 per cent of
normal. A yield of not more than 13,
500,000 bales is now indicated. This
Las resulted in a sharp rise in the
price of the staple.
Weather conditions are responsible
for the the deterioration of the cotton
crop. The prolonged drouth has had
its effect, and prospects for a heavy
yield are not near so roseate as they
were a month ago. Alabama is faring
a little better than the average, the
condition for this state jseing placed
at 72, while Texas has suffered most,
the condition there being estimated at
The markets for corn and wheat are
also showing activity wdth a rising
tendency largely in evidence. The dry
weather has had its effect upon these
crops. One factor that has caused the
price of wheat to advance is the out
look for poor yields in Europe. France
for the third year in succession will
show a disappointing harvest. Europe
will be compelled to call upon Ameri
ca for bread, and this will bring about
Despite the prolonged spell of dry
weather, however, the crops of the
country as a whole are far from dis
couraging. The financial condition of
the farmers this fall and winter
should be better than it has been in
The Currency Hearing
The appearance of a committee of
financial experts before the Senate
committee on banking and currency
is bound to be of benefit in the draft
ing of a measure to relieve a bad
situation. Of all the classes of the
country, the bankers are the most
directly interested in the proposed
legislation. They have an intimate
knowledge of actual conditions, and
have given deep study to remedial
There is much in the Glass-Owen
bill that meets the approval of the
bankers, but there are some things
that they would like to see changed
before the measure is put upon its
final passage. President Wilson and
other leaders of the administration
all along have declared that they are
striving to do the best possible, and
to that end they are anxious to obtain
the counsel and advice of the whole
Not all that the bankers ask will
be granted. The idea of one central
bank is unpopular in so many quar
ters that the adoption of such a plan
hardly seems probable. But there are
other questions which need a thor
ough threshing out before they can
be regarded as settled.
Currency legislation at the present
extra session now seems assured. The
worst of the hot spell will have
passed before the tariff bill is out of
the way, and the leaders of both par
ties seem satisfied to bend to the will
of the President in this regard.
Representative Levy of New York says
the prosecution of the Steel trust Is cost
ing the government *20 a minute and
urges that the suit be dismissed. The
Steel trust in Birmingham has never de
veloped grasping tendencies and the Bir
mingham public believes It to be a “good
Sometimes we wish that Paul Chebeas
had not created September Morn, espe
cially after every alleged humorist in tilt
country has had his fling at it. But
when We observe the masterpiece, "View
ing With Alarm" becomes a lost art.
Perhaps former President Mellen of the
New York, New Haven and Hartford
railroad is comforted by the reflection
that the blame for the latest wreck hor
ror on that ill-starred road cannot be laid
at his door.
The mayor of St. Joseph. Mo., has won
vindication in an election that sought ids
recall. But what's the use of the people
having a political plaything unless they
play with it occasionally?
If it is really true that King Alfonso
tied from England to avoid kissing his
mother-in-law, it must be equally true
that the bravest of the brave have their
moments of cowardice.
Philadelphia is to choose nine munici
pal court judges and there are 99 candi
dates in the Held. A police court judge
ship is almost as much sought after as
One cf the wreck victims on the NcW
York. New Haven and Hartford railroad
Is described merely as an elderly man in
a union suit, which, to say the least, is
not at all specific.
Thaw seems to have no kick on the
law's delay. J
Five hundred men are to be added to
the police force in New York. But this
‘loea not piean that thp graft in future
will be subjected to longer division.
Governor Colquitt of Texas says his
friends spent $0000 and he spent $7000 to
elect him. But that’s no reason why he
should want to whip Mexico.
A vaudeville performer denies that a
ragtime tune was played at his wedding.
He can still further discount that story
by staying married.
—- —•—— ■ - -—
If Mr. T.bid's travel, are continued it
should not be long before he knows every
way station between Vera Cruz and Mex
Human beings are bought and sold in
the Philippines. Horrible, isn't it? Base
ball players arc bought and sold in this
Ah, cheer up, boys! Thanksgiving
comes soon after school opens. Think
of the accompanying turkey and cran
John Armstrong Chaloner of Virginia
condoles with Harry Thaw. His most
famous remark Is. "Who's loony now?"
It appears that the Canadian brand ol
justice is not so clear and lucid as many
people have heretofore supposed.
The Tammany tiger will not lose
enough fur in the present disturbance to
feel the cold blast next winter.
Queen Wilhelmlna save Andrew Car
negie a medal and the glad hand. Who
could ask for more?
Just why Harry Thaw prefers tile
Sherbrooke jail to Matteawan is hard to
Uncle Joe will will run tot- Congress
again. The old guard dies, hut never sur
If Mr. Carnegie is so rampant for peace,
"hy doesn't he offer to pension Huerta?
So far Colonel Mulhall has,not been of
fered a Chautauqua contract.
Mr. Hearst is the man who put the
con to fusion in New York.
HOW BASEBAl.Ii DRAMS
I* lorti the American Magazine.
There are over 35 leagues under the
national commission, with six to eight
clubs apiece, ipiaying an average, possibly,
of 130 games to the season. I should say
that means a daily attendance on organ
ized baseball of 150,000 to 300,000 people.
Perhaps the unorganized clubs draw half
as many more. Thirty million a year, at
a minimum! The Giants alone played to
750,000 last season. The world’s series
draw a total of 262.000 for eight games.
“And even those ligtires don’t begin
to measure ppoular interest. You get a
better idea when you add up the amount
of newspaper space and telegraph Service
that is devoted to baseball every day In
the season. Where is the town that
doesn't get the returns by wire? Think of
the playographs in every major league
city and the crowds they draw! Almost
os many saw' the world’s series at the
Madison Square Garden playograph as
actually went to the games—all the gar
den would hold, anyway. Then the bul
letin boards! There Is no way of esti
mating how many people daily watch the
newspaper bulletins, but It is an immense
“And the extras—every play telegraphed
in by special wire from the grounds, and
the forms made up and gotten off the
press so fast that they meet your trolley
car half way downtown. One New York
PH per estimated that It sold 100.000 extras
dally during the worlds series. one
Cleveland paper sells a 20,000 sporting edi
tion every day. Kvery morning daily of
any consequence prints box scores, and
yon old newspaper men know what tele
graphing a box score means the big
chance of confusion ill wiring the play
ers' names and the string of six separate
figures after each cue, and then the sum
mary of the game . It isn't like wiring
a supreme court decision, either; you
haven't got all night to do it. The news
editor will stand for a holdover once, in
a while, but there is nothing doing in
holdovers with the sporting editor nor
with the fans. Now if you recall how
many mistakes you have noticed in all
the thousands of box scores you have
read, you will have a good record for the
U KE M’LIKE SAYS
From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
Every time the devil has an off day
lie starts a reform movement and creates
a new flock of hypocrit?s.
You can get used to anything. The
longer you are married the less it worries
A debtor and a creditor never figure in
terest the same way.
The high cost of living is often caused
by the cost of high living.
A man always likes to add a few years
to his age so he can brag about how old
lie is. But it Is different with a woman.
A married woman is Ailed with sympa
thy for some other woman’s husband wno
has to lead a dog’s life. But that’s just
what the other woman is thinking about
the Arst woman’s husband.
A man always knows where he got his
headache, but a woman doesn’t.
Every now and then you see a woman
who makes you grin when you remember
that she belongs to the “w'eaker sex.”
A woman will rave over a green baby
that looks like a red monkey, but a man
will grin foolishly and admit that it
has a Ane head.
Every man knows that there ain’t no
Santa Claus. But you can alw'ays sell
him mining stock.
When a girl with a rosebud mouth has
been eating onions you forget all about
Labor Day Is usually one of the best
aleoholMays on the list.
From the Kansas City Star.
“Don’t worry,” was the recipe for long
life recently given by an aged physician
who had preserved his youth.
“Good advice, but impractical,” ydu say.
Tbit did you ever give it a real trial?
A person can’t stop worrying mereJy by
saying, “Go to. now, I am not going to
worry any more.” The more he thinks
about stopping the more impossible it is
There is a way, though. Don’t con
sciously try to stop worrying, but get in
terested in something else.
If you have something to worry about
and give yourself the opportunity, you
will do a lot of worrying. But if you keep
busy you won’t give worry a chance.
When a great sorrow comes a person
irfay simply abandon himself to it by let
t’.ig ills other interests lag. But by look
ing about for something .to absorb Ilia
attention he ertn put himself in a whole
some frame of mind.
Worry can be fought the same way.
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Ht’fafi Fall lltinfiM'MM
‘Fall trade* Is starting off well and
business jn all directions seems to be In
good condition,” said F. T. Eldridge of
Rochester, X. y.
‘‘A few months ago there was a feel
ing of depression In financial circles, but
that has passed away. The outlook for
the next few months is exceptionally
”1 voted the democratic ticket last No
vember and am more than pleased with
President Wilson’s administration. The
republicans predicted that business would
be ruined if the democrats had the ex
ecutive office and . oth houses of Con
gress, but everything is fturning out all
rifjkt. T believe the revised tariff will
prtve to be extremely popular with the
people of this country.”
“The business done on Morris avenue,
a part of the wholesale center of Bir
mingham. is a very reliable barometer as
to the population of the city,” said a busi
ness man yesterday. “Trade this sum
mer has increased about 40 per cent, ac
cording to reliable figures, and this in
dicates that there has been a correspond
ing increase in the population of (he city.
“Some of tiie merchants reported in
creases of 60 per cent, but the average
will be about 40 per cent. Now it is plain
that, the people in Birmingham did not
cat more this summer than they did last,
therefore it follows that there must have
been more people here to eat it.”
— "Viscount Haldane, who was the guest
of the American Bar association at Us
annual meeting in Montreal this week,
Is not only regarded as an able lawyer,
but he is one of the most accomplished ;
scholars in Great Britain,” said a man
who takes an interest in public men and
"He was Secretary of War for several
years and was created a peer only two
years ago. He recently succeeded Earl
Loreburn as lord high chancellor. While
a member of the House of Commons Hal
dane was looked upon as a first-class
authority on parliamentary law. lie also
displayed great executive ability at the
head of the w'ar office, and outside of
politics he has long shone as a man of
“Lord Haldane was educated at Edin
burg and Gottingen universities. He won
first class honors in philosophy at Edin
burg and has honorary degrees from
nearly all the universities in Great Britain,
lie was Gifford lecturer at St. Andrews’
university in 3902-4. Among his degrees
is that of doctor of canon law, Oxford.
His publications include, ‘Essays and
Philosophical Criticisms;’ ‘Life of Adam
Smith;’ ‘Education and Empire,’ and
translation (with‘Mr. Kemp) of Schopen
hauer's ‘World as Will and Idea,' three
“The British lord chancellor presides
over the House of Lords. He starts as a
commoner and is selected by the party
in power for his parliamentary skill and
attainments in law. As lord chancellor,
Lord Haldane is the representative of
the liberal government in the House of
ChpckiuK of Speed Maniac*
“However much we may desire to co
operate with the officers in the checking
of the ‘speedomaniacs,’ it is utterly im
possible to do so in most cases." said
a public spirited citizen.
“A few’ nights ago J walked up Twen
tieth street hill, and a motorcycle passed
me, going 50 miles an hour, wide open
and popping like a cavalry charge with
carbines; in fact it reminded me very
much of the only one I ever heard, dur
ing the last days of the war. I could
get no sight of the license number, but
I watched the speeder, until lost to view,
1'ar down the street.
“Later I returned by the sumo route,
and an automobile came down the hill
speed of at least 40 miles an hour. The
car was changed in its counys about two
feet, and if swung wide, so W“eat. was its
speed. The driver made this change, bare
ly missing a negro woman who was cross
ing ttie street at Avenue G. 1 tried to get
! the number, but there was just a flash
and a whin, and the "speedonianiac* kept
[ Ids pace as far as I could see, towards
the railroad crossings.
“Here is a suggestion for checking these
automobile and motorcycle devils: Ilava
cross drains, say 8 inches across the top,
cut at each street crossing in the sur
lace of the roadway, and at two points on
the grade of Twentieth street. These
will force the reckless drivers to check
up, so that their numbers may be taken.
At least, twill put 'punctuation* in the
unchecked fast driving as now all too com
mon. and It may cause punctures of tires;
then, too. It may cause punctures of the
cranlums of those who disregard these
checks iu ;he roadway!"
A Pertinent CoininirNnn
"Tlie' Wall Street Journal in a brief
editorial under the caption ‘A Pertinent
Comparison,' shows that the cotton re
. eipts of Memphis from September ], J912,
to Allgust 22, 1912, were $20,214 bales and
that the Nashville receipts for the same
period were 7S5S hales," said a member of
the Chamber of Commerce. "It stresses
the fact that the reported allotment by
the United States treasury of $600,000 to
Memphis for moving the crop will av
crrge about 75 cents a bale while the
same amount to Nashville wall be $$o.
"Secretary McAdoo has commended him
self strongly to the public. He Is recog
niezd as a great Secretary of the Treas
ury. Most people regardless of parti
cle disposed to Indorse whatever he does
in his official capacity, but there was
some little comment, on his generous treat
ment of Tennessee banks, out of propor
tion to the crop moving requirements.”
Ambassador Walter H. Page
"The London Times and other London
tapers give Walter Hines Page, the Uni
ted States ambassador, the title of ‘Doctor,’
but I think the scribes have got him mixed
with Thomas Nelson Page," said a man
who has a personal acquaintance with
"Thomas Nelson Pa.ge was recently ap
pointed ambassador to the King of Italy.
I was living in Virginia when he was
made Litt. D, or doctor of letters, at
Washington and Lee. It was In the year
1974. The degree was little known at that,
time. In the same year It was conferred
on the Rev. Dr. Lafferfy, a prominent
Methodist minister and editor, and on
V atson James, a well known and brilliant
newspaper man of Richmond: Yale con
ferred LL.D. On Tom Page in 1901.
"If Walter Hines Page, who is a man
of letters as well as Thomas Nelson
Page, is embellished with a doctorate I
have never heurd of it. He Is a man of
very marked ability and seems to be mak
| lug good as ambassador, but his title in
London should be simply Mr. Page."
MORE ABOUT THAT TRAIN
Uenrge Pitch, the Illinois funny man.
Is writing a series of llomeburg sketches
for the American Magazine. In the Sep
tember number he tells about the arrival
ol the 4:1< train In Homeburg. The fol
lowing is an extract:
"It’s the town pastline. We all do it.
' : -
Whenever a Homebur* man has nothin*
else to do at 4 o’clock, he steps over
to the depot and joins the Ion* line which
leans up against the depot wall and keeps,
It In place during the crisis. Some of
them haven't missed a roll call In years.
Old Bill Dorgan, the drayman, has stood
on the platform every day since the line
was built, rain or shine. Josh .lames, the
colored porter of the Cosmopolitan hotel,
knows more traveling men than William
J. Bryan, if he was absent from his post
the engineer wouldn't know' where to
stop the train. The old men come crawl
ing down on nice days and sun themselves
for an hour before the tr^u arrives. The
boys sneak slyly down on their way from
school and stand In docks worshiping the
train butcher, who is bigger than the
Washington monument to them.
"There's the headlight half a mile down
the track! Bho's corning fast, 30 minutes
late, and, just because youVe been lone
some all afternoon and need exercise,
you slip Into your coat and hustle down.
Just as you get to the depot, No. 31
comes in with a crash and a roar, bell
ringing, steam popping off, every brake
yelling, platforms loaded, expectation in
tense, confusion terrific, all nerves a-tingle
and fat old Jack Belli, the conductor, lan
tern under arm, sweeping majestically by
on the bottom step of the smoker. Young
Red Nolan and Barney Gastlt, two of the
station agent's innumerable amateur help
ers, race for the baggage car with their
truck, making a terrible uproar over the
old planks. The mall clerk dumps the
sacks. Tsually he gets a stranger in the
Fliin with them. Nothing doing today.
Just missed a traveling man. We still
tell cf the time the paper sack scooted
across the Icy platform and stood Mayor
Andrew's on his head. He wanted to
abolish the whole postoffi^e depart
PILGRIM TRAINS IN INDIA
From the Wide World Magazine.
Of course, pilgrims in India usually
travel third class, and the best of suoh ac
commodation makes no provision for com
fort. Most of the carriages are divided
into small cubicles, with long, narrow,
wooden benches running along the two
sides. There is no convenience of any
kind, and the travelers are packed into
the compartments like so many sardines
in a tin.
oK festive occasions, when Hindus jour
ney by the hundred thousand to the sacred
spots, it is a sight worth traveling many
miles to see a pilgrim train bound for
some shrine on the Ganges. When it
stops at a wayside station, scores of in
tending passengers try to force their way
into the already closely packed third class
carriages by hatering down the locked
doors, or even endeavoring to crawl
through the window’s over the heads and
shoulders of the occupants. The police
use their batons freely to drive the in
vaders away, but usually a fewr manage
to evade the constables and secure a foot
hold on the train.
Sometimes t*.- authorities are compelled
to carry passengers in open trucks. They
plant themselves in the bottom of these
cars and remain there, exposed to the in
clemencies of the weather for 10, 20, 30
and 40 hours at a stretch, one treading
on the toes of the other—fretful babies
crying, men and women grumbling—until
the end of the journey is reached.
CONVICTS GUARD THEMSELVES
From the Wide World Magazine.
Three years ago the authorities of the
province of Ontarla cautiously commenced
to reverse a system that had been In op
eration wit hlittle variation for about 20
centuries. They took 400 men from be
hind the high walls and steel bars of
the Central prison. Toronto, and placed
them on a farm, where their words of
honor were the only bastions and a
common sense notion of “co-operation”
their only lock and key. The authorities
moved with care they did not choose
desperate criminals for such unparalleled
leniency or dynamitards. IS I any of them,
however, ure practiced burglars, forgers,
pickpockets, and the like, and about 90
per cent of them are the products of
This experiment has been successful al
most beyond belief. Four hundred con
victed men, mostly young, live the year
round on 12(H) acres of farm land, with
no more repression or surveillance than
is imposed on any farm laborer on the
Canadian prairie. Do they escape? Four
in three years, out of a transient popula
tion of perhaps 1000. “But does not the
system make prison life so attractive as
to place a premium on crime?” asks the
sceptic. So far Is this from being the
fact that not one-half the percentage of
“repeaters” come back for further sen
tences to the prison farm, as is the case
with the old fashioned jails.
MANY SEE THE MOVIES
From the American Magazine.
"There are certainly 10,000 such theatres,
it is said, and probably the daily attend
ance is closer to 20,000,000 than to the
5,000,000 estimated by the proprietors, it
easily could be that many at any rale,
since each theatre probably gives at least
four performances a day. This means
that more than one-fifth of our entire pop
ulation are patrons of the movies every
day. This means that, at 10 cents an ad
mission, we as a nation are spending $2,
1100,000 dally to witness canned drama.
However, as they never did, it Is per
fectly apparent that a considerable num
ber of the patrons of the movies have
not been drawn away from better things.
It Is obvious that many of these 20,000,000
canned theatre goers never were patrons
of Ike conventional playhouse. Unfor
tunately, there are no available statistics
to show what percentage of the popula
tion attended the conventional theatre
(that Is, tlie theatre where plays are pre
sented, not vaudeville nor burlesque) eb
fore the movies were Invented, and what
percentage now attends. It is, however,
pretty generally admitted that the gal
laries of our theatres are no longer filled
as they used to be. Even the most suc
cessful plays on Broadway, plays which
are ‘selling out' downstairs, often show
tiers of empty benches under the roof.
This Is usually attributed to the movies."
From the Wide World Magazine.
Tlie shepherds of the east—those to be
found In such countries as Palestine,
Arabia and Persia^-dlffer entirely from
their brethren of the west. They are a
class apart; even their dress is unlike that
of the peasants of the land In which they
live. Their shoes are of the roughest de
scription, almost circular In appearance.
They wear an outer garment of bright
colors, woven from camel’s hair and with
out seams. Being square and sleeveless,
this garment fits any size of a man, hang
ing lit picturesque folds from the shoul
ders. A 'kerchief for the head, tied In
two black rings of rope and wool, com
pletes the outfit. In the winter, however,
the eastern shepherd takes an undressed
fleece, which he girds about his loins, when
he appears more than ever like a mem
ber of Ills own flock. Unlike the shep
herds of the west, these men lead their
flocks, this custom hat ing arisen through
the absence of roads and sheep dogs.
! ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
A SMALL BOY'S PLIGHT.
'I’lie call to school melees Willie sad,
lie thinks about the fun he’s had.
Those leafy coverts cool and dim.
The stream in which he used to swim,
The country lanes that lured his feet
When idle days made life so sw'cct.
And then a shadow glooms his face.
No more lie’ll leap and run and race
As free as any bird of air,
His heart a strange* to all care?
Now leadin’, writin’, ’rithrustic
Must be his lot, his teacher's quick
And roving eye his nemesis—
Gould any fate be worse than tills?
A PERMANENT SITUATION.
"Do you remember that profligate young
Tewksley who used to live here?”
"Oh, yes. He used to say he wouldn’t
go to work until he found his life work.”
"Well, he’s found It.”
"What’s he doing now?”
"He's working in the shoe factory of
the state penitentiary under a life sen
~ NOTHING SMALL ABOUT HIM.
"A good fellow, eh?”
"You bet he is! Why, he'll buy seven
loafers a round of drinks any day, no j
matter how badly his children need j
"Pa, what is a misogynist?” #
"A misogynist, son, Is a man who would
rather stay out in the rain than seek
shelter where there is a woman.”
"Oh, yes, I can drink or let it alone,”
Was Topper's remark.
That night in his face a cop's lantern
He woke in the park.
A LOW MUTTERING.
"Father has retired to h1s den. That's
the only place In the house where he can
do any talking.”
“To whom does he talk?”
“Why, he talks to himself.”
The time has come for father dear
To hand out stacks of shekels
That sister Ann may scorch her ear \
And deck her nose With freckles.
The time has come for father dear
To be real good and kind. ,
While? wlfie dear vacatlonates
lie has to stay behind.
—Grand Rapids Press.
The time has come for father dear 1
To move the world to pity; I
Just ns his ante's drawing near
He has to feed the kitty.
The time has come for father dear
To feel great perturbation; ’
Ma s coming back, the house torn up
Will need an explanation.
“The trouble with you, BtfPels, is that «v
jou don’t live within your income.”
“Good heavens! If I lived within my in
come I couldn’t breathe.” »
"Father's in the library. Speak to him
there, Arthur." • >
"I’m glad he's In the library, darling.” '
"The windows are, wide and close to th#
One time there was a druggist who
Old not sell soda water;
He very rarely had a call \
From anybody's daughter.
Maids bought their paint and powder, too,
From rivals down the street;
The fount, you see, was their excuse
Whene'er they chanced to meet
Young men to whom they did not wish I
Their seerets to be known,
Particularly that the bloom
They wore was not their own.
THE LITTLE WHITE VICTIM V
Walt Mason In the Kansas City Star.
WE really should be thankful that
we live in these enlightened
times, when our lives cannot
easily be sworn away In the courts, when
medical men know something of medicine
and "hanging judges” are few and far
between. A few weeks ago some merry
plcnlcers in a western town refreshed
themselves with ice cream and shortly
afterward they were tying themselves in
sailors’ knots, and several narrowly es
caped death. The learned physicians w ho
were summoned said -that ptomaine pois
oning was responsible and nobody was
Had that occurred a hundred years ago,
the doctors would have said that arsenic
was the cause of the calamity, and the
officers of the law would have gone
hunting for the poisoner; then woe be
tide anybody who was known to have a
grudge against any of the sufferers! How
many innocent people, accused of poison
ing. have been legally butchered will
never be known until the roll Is called
up yonder, but their name is legion.
Among these sacrifices to medical ignor
ance and stupidity, as well as to the!
blood-thirsty rapacity of prosecuting law- I
yers. none ever gained the public ays-]
pathy to such a degree as did Elizabeth!
Penning, who suffered on the tireless'
British gallows neafly 100 years ago.
Pur a long time her name was a house- 1
hold word in England. When she was'
sentenced to death some of the greatest1
and most famous men in the country ex- j
erted themselves in her behalf; poets j
wrote verses about her; men of high!
standing circulated petitions; the plain j
people held mass meetings and passed j
resolutions; but all in vain. The British j
idea of justice, loo years ago, was that j
it is better to hang a hundred innocent!
people than to let one guilty person es- f
Elizabeth Penning was the daughter of!
poor but worthy parent*, and she grew
up with the knowledge that she would
have to work for her living. Being a
sensible girl, she determined to excel In
her humble calling, so she became an ex
cellent cook. At odd times she studied
diligently und gained a general educa
tion that was unusual In one of her sta
tion. She was pretty, modest and self re
penting, am. made a good impression ev
On an evil day she accepted a port
folio as cook in the family of Robert
Gregson Turner, a l-ondon stationer.
Turner’s father lived with him, and also
two or three clerks. Mrs. Turner was one
j of those imperious. Queen Elizabett^ sort
of women who were more numerous—
than kheaven!—a century ago than they
are now. She looked upon her servants
and handmaidens as being a trifle less
than human, and always was reading ths
thank heaven!—a century ago then they
a burden. She rebuked Elizabeth for im
aginary offenses. The girl, who did her
work conscientiously, was more used to
praise than criticism, and Mrs. Turner's
lecture wounded her deeply.
Elizabeth was a good cook, and she
took special pride in her apple dumpling*.
She felt that when it came to qpple
dumplings she could please the crowned
heads, and upon Several occasions she
asked Mrs. Turner's permission to pre
pare these delicacies. The old girl al
ways vetoed this proposition, saying that
her folks didn't care three whoops for
dumplings. At last the girl got permis
sion to dish up some of her celebrated
dumplings, so she secured some yeast
from the brewer and some milk from the
milkman, and went ahead. Perhaps she
was nervous; perhaps she forgot to put in
some necessary ingredients. However
that may lie, the dumplings were a dis
mal failure. They were ilat and heavy
and off color, and Elizabeth, who was
heart broken over it, wanted to throw
them Into the alley, or give them to the
deserving poor, but Mrs. Turner didn't
like to see anything go to waste, so she
had them served up.
The members of the family ate some
steak and potatoes, and then tackled the
dumplings. After eating a small por
tion, old Mr. Turner reared up and
yelled, and bit a piece out of the back
of his chair and then began* rolling
around on the floor. Then Robert Greg
son Turner gave a good Imitation of a
contortionist, and presently Mrs. Turner
and the clerks did some ground and lofty
tumbling. Chirurgeons and apothecaries
were summoned, and, of course, they de
cided that the family had been poisoned
with aresnic. And who but Elizabeth
Penning could have administered the
poison? Her guilt was manifest. So
Elizabeth went to jail. ‘
' A greut. mass of evidence waa lntr>
• a. c"
(iuced by the prosecution at the trial, and
all of it was so trifling as to be absurd.
Great stress, for Instance, was laid upon ^
the fact that Elizabeth had repeatedly
uked permission to make apple dump
lings. This was considered conclusive
propf that she had contemplated thh
crime a long time. It didn't occur to \
anybody that dumplings were not neces
sary to the administering of arsenic.
Had she been anxious to poison the Tur
ners she had opportunities every day.
Mrs. Turner testified at great length,
and in every sentence showed her hatred
of the girl. She testified that there had
been a paper of arsenic in the drawer of
the kitchen table, and when she rccov*
Ited from her sickness she looked for the'
puper, but it was gone. This made a l
deep impression upon the jury and seemc-d
to stick In their minds, to the exclusion
of the story of one of the clerks, who
swore that the package of arsenic had. <
been missing before Elizabeth went to
work for tlie Turners. It was taken for
granted that arsenic had been used, be
cause in I Ignorant doctor and a more
Ignorant druggist said so. In after yea s
an eminent British scientist wrote a pa-',
per on this ease and demonstrated con
clusively that the Turners were not iiof®**-,
Oiled with arsenic, whatever caused the;
sufferings. None of (lie symptoms >r f
arsenical poisoning was present. < \
All evidence against the girl was freely ft
admitted, but whenever a witness for ttfH
defense was on the stand his evide^H, ,,
was ruled out on one pretext or anotheir
and the unfortunate girl was found guilty
and sentenced to death. Had she been ,)
convicted of making bad dumplings am»''
fined five shillings there would be n*v
cause for complaint, but the girl really •
was hanged for making poor dumplings.
Nobody outside the courtroom and theJ
Turner family ever believed she wnsjjp
Nothing could be more pitiful than the 1
fate of Elizabeth Penning. Such deter
mined efforts were being made in h. . l ed*?*
hair by great men and w^mon that
seemed almost certain her sentence would
be commuted. Hut all the efforts failed,
and on the morning of July 26, 1815, she
was told lo prepare herself for transla
tion. She came from her cell wearing^ 1
white muslin dress and a snowy cap. Her
pretty, gentle face was untroubled, her
eyes undismayed. Hardened criminals
and men accustomed to horrible scenes
had tears on their cheeks while the ex- \
eeuttoner bound her hands. A distill- 'I
guished citizen of Eondon, who had
worked night and day to save her,
stepped lip to her. sobbing, and salrl:
"Tell me, Elizabeth, in the name of
<jua, mai you are innopent.
"In the name of God, then, I um Inno
cent.” replied the girl and they were her
last words. She died at the age of j>|, S
and no gallows was ever put to a more
Next day, and for several days there
after. crowds collected In the street where '
the Turners lived, and bombarded the
house with rocks, and it was a long time
before any of the Turners could appear
| In public with safety. Elizabeth's par- '
ients had bankrupted themselves trying to
| secure Justice for her and a fund was
raised for their relief and the fact that I
the money for that fund came from all
over Europe shows how Intense was the
Indignation over the murder of this un
PROBLEM FOR VARDKMAV
From the Louisville Courier-.forrita 1.
Jack Johnson, who is sojourning in Lon
don, Is quoted as saying that he lias many 4
American frtehds, but hopes to meet them
In heaven. Mr. Vardamait of Mississippi
will 110W think twlde before saying his
••GOODNIGHT AND GOOD-BV
Frank L. Stanton, In the Atlanta Con
Sweetheart, the sunlight fades fast from
Goodnight and good-by!
Memory Is left in Ltfe's shadows to sigh;
Goodnight und good-liy!
Soryow is now the one
Voice in the Night ,
Over the wild dreams that whispered
But sweet Is Love's fate, dear, though
tears dim the night:
Goodnight and good-by'
Sweetheart, a crass unto all lives 1*
Goodnight and good-dry!
But tears from Love's eyes ar; as holy
Goodnight and good-by!
Joy has been with us. and still thi light
From a Star all undarkened—with beau
I love you forever—I kiss you in Ireani*;
Goodnight and good-by!
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