The Birmingham age-herald. [volume], March 19, 1914, Page 4, Image 4

About The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950

Image provided by: University of Alabama Libraries, Tuscaloosa, AL

                
THE AGEHERALD
K. NV. DAHRK'IT Editor
Entered at the Birmingham. Ala.
postoffice as second class matter uml-jr
act of Congress March 3. 1879.
Daily and Sunday Age-Herald. . $S. » i
Daily and Sunday pci month .■'
Daily and Sunday, three months.. 2.*)»
Weekly Age-Herald, per annum.. .*0
Sunday A ^e-Herald .
A. J. Eaton, Jr., ami O. E. Young are
the only authorized traveling repro
acntatives of The Age-llerald in **»
circulation department.
No communication will l»e published
without its author's name. Reject'd
manuscript will not be returned unless
■tamps ate enclosed for that purpof
Remittances can be made at current
rate cf exchange. The Agc-JJerald "'i.l
not be responsible for %tonev sent
through the mails. Address.
THE AGE-HERALD,
Birmingham, Ala.
Washington bureau. l’U7 Hibbs build
Eurcpeau bureau. G Henrietta street,
Covent Garden, London.
Eastern business offiee. Rooms b •
BO. inclusive. Tribune building. xv
York Cits : Western business ofiu-*.
Tribune building. Chicago. The S • .
Peck with Special Agency, agents for
eign advertising.
TELEPHONE
Hell {private exchange counectliig nh
«le|>RrtnieniMt, Main tJMMt.
— I
Opinion's but n fool, that mnkes ms
seas
The oiitwnrd hahll for the inward
mnn,
I'erlelcM, Prince of Tyre.
BF.GINMXfi TIIF. I)AV-I tliniik
Thro. <• my fur r-hllilhooil; I
my on n, nhl. h In m. mory flonln
over me like Jasmine brenlh; lor
thnl nl rhlldrrn ronnil me. wHh ll*
light unit life. Moy I hnlhe in till*
fountain «f youth ihnl my *o.H inuy
hr ynmiK even when my holly I
Kill. Fill Clirl.l'* mike. Amen-H.
M. K. ___
Fashion's Ceaseless Change
From the time of the inception of a
fashion by the use of the allegorical
fig leaf in dress, changes in style have
been constantly occurring, and doubt
lessly will so continue for all time to
tome; so that Birmingham’s “Fashion
Week” it but one of the brilliant epi
sodes resulting from new tjoas in the
matter of apparel.
Thomas It. Gibson of the state of
New York is accredited as being one
of the best authorities upon the muta
tions and history of the innumerable
styles which have obtained for the
past half century and his recent
statement upon this subject cannot
fail to interest.
He says in part:
These beautiful spring rubrics, par
ticularly the Bilks, tell the story oC
women's modern apparel; they allow tlm
whole evolution of women's dress and
they emphasize the extreme changes of
fashions. For instance, these silks are
woven both In this country and abroad
at an enormous width.
Not so many years ago a woman
could buy a silk dress If she purchased
from 15 to 20 yards of material. To
day the width of the silk makes It pos
sible for her to have a dress from less
than fvo yards. Consider, too, the revo
lution in tile manufacturing world
which fashion has made. Dantiest lin
Rerie, once a woman's pride, is now
superseded by the harem trouser skirt
and underwear as nearly perfect lifting
as can be made.
A few years ago the silk underskirt
measured five yards around the bot
tom. but today the beautiful blouse to
be worn with a suit occupy the bite
factories where underskirts were once
manufactured, l.ook at the story of
the window display.
It tells of dress accessories more Im
portant ihau the gown itself, the strip?
of beads the gloves, the shoes, tile
dainty hosiery, the handkerchief and
the crown of beauty, the hat!
But Mr. Gibson fails to mention the
knee breeches, powdered wig and red
coats that were once so conspicuous
in English and American history and
also the reign of the hoop skirt and
other strange articles deemed so es
sential to dress in the style of the
past. The hoop skirt was in vogue
when the Civil war broke out and
their ample proportions rendered
them available for concealing and
smuggling contrabrands across the
line. Clothing, shoes and even liquor
were thus surreptitiously conveyed
from one section to another by female
sympathizers to the boys in gray. The
skirts were four feet or more in di
ameter and their expansion was main
tained by a metal wire at the bottom.
Probably the most ludicrous fashion
was one which obtained as late as the
70’s and consisted of lengthy panta
lettes worn by the women, reaching to
the tops of the shoes. Should Bir
mingham’s Miss Fashions promenade
the streets of the city clad in such
styles as then obtained they would
doubtless command even greater at
tention than they do in the costumes
of the present day.
City Beautiful Work
With the proper co-operation on
the part of the citizens and espe
cially the good women of this commu
nity the city beautiful movement will
accomplish much good.
City beautiful clubs distributed
through Birmingham are more nu
merous now than in previous years,
and the women who are active in pro
moting the work in question, backed
by the city commission, are greatly
encouraged. There is response on the
part of householders among all classes
not only in keeping back yards clean,
but in cultivating flowers and green
sward in the front yard. While the
lawns of the houses in fashionable
residence sections are rioted for their
beauty many an humble cottage could
be made attractive at small expense
| or no expense were the occupants t<
do a little work on the front yards
Nothing perhaps improves the ap
pearance of a wooden house so muci
as fresh paint. There should be ;
general painting movement as a pan
of the city beautiful scheme; but a:
I it costs something to keep a hous;
] veil painted, a .considerable perce.i
tage of people in poor circumstance'
do not feel able to pay a painter, lr
many eases a male member of thi
family might take a few days of!
from his regular employment and d(
the painting himself. While the jol
would not be as well done as if i'
were executed by a trained painter i'
would give the dwelling place a muc>
fresher and brighter look.
Clean premises, flower gardens
green grass and houses in good re
pair freshly painted from time tc
time would make the city attractive
I to the stranger, and would have i
refining effect on the community al
large. It is hoped that everybody
will manifest an interest in the city
beautiful movement and co-operate -t;
far as possible.
Birmingham’s Chances Bright
While the organization committee
having the selection of the cities it
which federal reserve banks will be
established has until the last of the
month to make its awards, it will
not be surprising to those in touch
with the situation if the selections arc
announced sometime next week. The
committee consisting of Secretary of
the Treasury McAdoo, Secretary of
Agriculture Houston and C’omptrollei
of the Treasury Williams have prob
ably agreed already on most of the
cities; but if so they have been care
ful not to give out any tips.
The nearer the time approaches the
brighter Birmingham's chances ap
pear. If the district which will em
brace Alabama is constituted so as
to include Kentucky, Tennessee, Mis
sissippi, Georgia and Florida and that
part of Louisiana east of the Missis
sippi river, Birmingham will be dis
tinctly the logical city for (he reserve
bank. It is not only central, but it has
all the other things to commend it,
notably accessibility from every part
of Uw district.
Houston, Tex., is almost certain
to be a reserve bank center. If a dis
trict should be constituted so as to
throw Texas and all of Louisiana to
gether, then the Crescent City would
be the logical place for a reserve
bank; but those financiers who have
studied the map thoroughly in con
nection with the banking resources
and tbe necessities of borrowers, tc
meet which the bunking and cur
renoy law was enacted, agree stib
stantially in giving Houston a re
serve bank and putting New Orleans
in a district with Birmingham. Ev
erybody knows New Orleans is not
only the largest city in the south, bul
that it is the greatest financial cen
ter in the south. But the whole ques
tion revolves around the arrangement
of districts or regions rather than cit
ies.
Certain it is that the group of states
proposed for district No. 10 is self
sustaining from a banking point of
view all the year ’round, which is
one of the requirements; and Bir
mingham is the center of this group.
The Aspects of Fairies
Granville Barker, the playwright,
having given his fairies golden faces
has run afoul of William Butlei
Yeats, whose poetical mind agrees
with the Celtic conception of fairies
who resemble human beings. In “The
Celtic Twilight” Mr. Yeats tells aboui
a description of fairies which waf
given to him by an old woman. “Thej
are people like ourselves, only bettei
looking, and many a time she has
gone to the window to watch then
drive their wagons through the sky
wagon behind wagon, in long line
or to the door to hear them singing
and dancing in the Forth.”
According to the old woman, th>
fairies are good neighbors and liki
most neighbors, if treated kindly, wil
reciprocate. However, they don’t liki
for people to be on their path am
have been known to knock a perso.
down, although this was probably no
done in a vindictive spirit. Thei
favorite song is called "The Distan
Waterful” If you have enough ini
agination, the chances are that whei
you hear the song of a waterfall yoi
can also hear the fairies lilting thei
woodland melodies.
Another Celtic idea is that the fair
ies have cloven feet and they ar
called fallen angels because it is be
lieved that when Lucifer rebelle
against God a number of angels sup
ported him in his recalcitrancy an
were driven out of heaven. Whe
hell was full a great many of thes
angels were suspended in midair, be
ing neither in heaven nor in hell, an
they are the fairies.
However, the most popular an
most general conception of a fairy i
that of a sprightly creature, dimuni
tive in size, who frolics by the ligli
of the moon in flowery meads an
sylvan dells where the privacy is ir
violate. Fairies are pretty in fori
and feature, nimble in wit, and e
times disposed to be mischevioui
though good at heart. We may nc
'witness their revels, though we ma
i often visit scenes they delight to fre
| quent. We may sometimes hear them,
I if our ears are keen and attuned to the
i small sounds of nature. They have
, been accused of upsetting pans,
j tweaking people’s noses and commit
| ting other offenses, byt just as there
j are good and bad people, so there are
good and bad fairies. Persons of
cheerful temperament will tell you
that the good fairies are quite numer
ous, but cross grained individuals will
assure you that there is not an aver
age of one good fairy in 20.
The stage fairy is only make-be
lieve, of course, and hardly worth
considering. It is always a source
| of great consolation to people who
are kindly disposed toward fairies to
know that their stage prototypes are
not at all like the originals, who have
ever been indispensable to poets and j
romancers.
So many Jews are returning to Jeru
salem a ml ^ the city is expanding so rap
i«lly tha tradical changes have been made
necessary. I here is now a larger popula
1,0,1 outside the city walls than within
i hem. Jewish colonies are to be found to
the forth and west of the old city, where
1 here are populous residential districts,
cs well as convents, schools, hospices and
various institutions. In the past decade
.1 remarkable transformation has taker,
place in the appearance of Jerusalem.
The old walls and towers will be pulled
down to make room for expansion, trolley
• ars will traverse the holy streets and
the city will glow with electric lights.
Four separate car routes will be laid. All
four will start from the Jaffa Gate, tlr
principal enwance to Jerusalem, and will
traverse the newer parts of the city. One
of the lines will run from the Jaffa Gate
to Bethlehem, a distance of about six
miles, and will traverse what is considered
tlic most sacred thoroughfare in tile
world. Another of the lines will give ac
cess to the business district and one will
encircle the old city, embracing many of
its most historic sites. The ancient walls,
which have a circumference of about
three miles and rise in some places to a
height of 38 and a half feet, have been
offered for sale as building material, al
though it is expected that an effort will be
made to save some sections of the walls,
including David's Tower, which may be
converted into a museum. An adequate
water supply is also being provided .'or
Jerusalem.
A court of honor for Women is being
formed in Paris. Three judges will bo
appointed. They will ostracize women
who don’t conform to the following code
Wives must be faithful and above suspi
cion; divorced women and widow’s must
abstain from tango parties and gay life
generally; debutantes must not flirt;
women must never give money to men,
except their husbands, if married; women
must not wear gowns slit more than six
inches from the hem and must avoid ex
aggerated decollete. A number of society
women, authors, actresses and women
lawyers are said to be supporting this
movement.
A New’ York man, who is suing his wife
for divorce, says she told him if he di»i
not stop working at night at home, play
ing the piano and reading novels she
would cut his throat or shoot him. This
is what is liable to happen to any man
w’ho won’t let his wife talk to him.
Two citizens of Rome fought a duel
while police looked on calmly, thinking
it; was a moving picture combat. Since
the movies became so popular it is hard
to tell what is real life and w’hat is im
itation.
"A girl is not to blame for anything
she does to get a husband." said a lady
lecturer to a feminist audience. It is
w’hat a girl doesn't do that is more apt
to win her a husband.'
Two citizens of Itarod, Alaska, were
caught playing poker. One was fined
$985 and costs and the other was fined
$425 and costs. It costs money to fatten
the kitty in Itarod.
An aviator at Marblehead, Mass., suc
ceeded in rounding a circle in his aero
plane with both hands off the steering
gear. That fellow’’s neck is not worth
2 cents. -
Mrs. \V. K. Vanderbilt, Jr., actually
refused to hire a special train in El
Paso, Tex. All our people of wealth are
not spendthrifts, by any means.
John Wanamaker started business wi h,
a push cart, and now, at the age of >3, [
is one of the greatest retail merchants in
the world. Get busy, son!
The suffragette who slashed the Roke
by Venus got only six months in prison
and is proud of her deed. There is no
hope for that woman.
The next time Ambassador Page starts
to wax mildly facetious at the expense of
the grand old Monroe doctrine he Is going
to think twice.
The King of Italy says he cannot en
dure artificiality. In that case it is safe
to assume that he is opposed to green
wigs. \
A New’ York woman lias tried to com
mit suicide in 23 ways. Some day that
woman is going to succeed.
English suffragettes are not content w»th
kicking John Bull's shins. They w’ant to
blacken both of his eyes.
- •_*._
It is as plain as a pikestaff that the
Britons don't know’ how to take a little
ambassadorial joke.
If the modern skirt has shocked Paris,
It has done all that its designer could
reasonably expect.
Condolences to the other man, who was
engaged to Miss Eleanor Wilson and
"went west." ' *
FASHION WEEK
From the Macon Nows.
This is "Fashion Week" in Birmingham.
' Arc Alabamians in style only on* week
In tlie year?
' , / *
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
.ItirJcN Polio.I
I have polle'd the circuit court juries
Mild* January l as to the United States
senatorship contest,” said Deputy Sheriff
Yom Patterson, “and. I find the average
has been about 3 to 1 for Underwood.
I "1 do not know of any surer indication
I of how an election is going in any given
section than the result of a jury poll.”
In Tiilla|>ooMH Comity
”1 spent Tuesday in Tallapoosa county
and while it was a business trip, 1 made
inquiries about the relative strength of
certain candidates for high office,” said
Charles Sumner.
"The only thing that the people with
whom I talked seemed to be certain
about was that Underwood would sweep
the county. That he would beat Hobson
3 to l was said to be a conservative esti
mate.”
I* It I rut lug limn ii Mii*l«*al City t
"The question is sometimes asked, is
Pirininghanf really a musical city?” ob
served an old music lover. "Well, it is
[ ns musical us most other cities of its
j size, no more, no less.
"This has been a poor season Itere, from
! the viewpoint of attendance at high class
musical entertainments, but it lias been
the came way in all the other cities that
I have heard from. Atlanta lias grand
opera annually, and everybody knows
what a great*financial and social success
tiie opera festival is. But outside of that
event, Atlanta lias very little music.
Many virtuosos a ml concert singers give
recitals in Birmingham every season, but
within the past two or three years no
groat recital artist lias appeared in At
lanta. •
"If music teachers and advanced pupils
would turn oift to the fine concerts that
are given here, box office results would
not be so unsatisfactory. The trouble
is. teachers and pupils are conspicuous by
their absence.
liiriiiingliiuii nnil it* Hold*
" While Birmingham has needed for
sometime a large, modern, fireproof hotel
of the palatial sort, and that it is about
to have—it lias. a greater number of
hotels than any city of approximately
its size that 1 know of,” said John L.,
Daffron of Chicago.
“When 1 was last here seven or eight
years ago there were not many hotels
of any kind, but now I am told that there
are a dozen or more- several of them
very good, indeed. I have not been in
Atlanta recently, but I tm told that sev
eral new Marge hotels have been built
there and that all of them are pretty
well filled most of the time; but I doubt
if the Georgia city has as many hotel
rooms as Birmingham will have when Us
Tutwller, its Molton and its big apart
ment house near tiie park are completed.
I believe'one might figure out more than
2000 rooms—probably 2200—including the
smaller class of hotels. I douta whether
Atlanta can do as well as that in total
rooms, although it has more strictly
modern hotels.”
April To Be Bu*y Month
“Many people are saying that April will
be a busy month and that business will
continue active throughout the rest of
the year,” said W. W. Browne of New
York city.
“There lias been considerable dullness
in trade circles in the east recently, but
there is a decided tendency toward im
provement. In fact one can see decided
improvement within tiie past week or so,
and he is a pessimist, indeed, who does
not look forward to the coming months
with confidence in an industrial and com
mercial revival. In the middle west, the
far west and the south business condi
tions are very good indeed. They are
exceptionally good in the south."
< ol. George W. Buin Speak* Siiuritty
"The management of the Young
Men’s Christian association counts itself
fortunate, indeed, in having recently se
cured the appearance of Col. George W.
Bain, the silver tongued orator from
Kentucky, for the Sunday meeting to
take place at 3 o’clock Sunday after
noon at the central association build
ing." said General Secretary Stallings
of the Birmingham association.
"Colonel Bain is one of the foremost
orators on the lyceum platform, for his
wit, pathos and eloquence have won
for him renown as a lecturer through
out the country. Prominent men in
different parts of the United States
unite in according him the distinction
of being one of the greatest speakers
on the platform today. Champ Clark,
speaker of the House, said recently
in the Metropolitan Press: ‘I had
the exquisite pleasure of hearing
George W. Bain. The audience was
splendid. For over an hour lie swayed
his hearers as the storm king sways
the forest. The way he played upon
the weird harp of a thousand strings,
the hitman heart, was a .revelation to
me. 1 shall always remember that hour
as one of the most ecstatic of my life.’
!Colonel Bain will take for his subject
Sunday afternoon, ‘If I Could Dive Life
Over.* Birmingham men are invited."
FftMliion Week Benefit* All
“Tiie merchants of Birmingham jn
general are realizing that Fashion
Week is a good investment," said a
prominent Second avenue merchant yes
terday, whose mercantile business is in
no way directly connected with “styles"
or “fashions.”
"When the Fashion Week idea was
first broached sometime ago there were
many members of the Business Men’s
league who believed that none of the
merchants would be benefited by the
event except the clothing stores and
the millinery shops. We have had it
proven to us by actual demonstration,
however, that we were wrong.
“It is true that the prime object of
Fashion Week festival as it is being
held here this week has to do with
dresses, suits, hats, shoes and articles
of clothing in general. Those are the
things controlled directly by fashion
and which, of course, serve as the mam
attraction for tiie Fashion Week event.
But the rest of us merchants who deal
in things other than articles of apparel
and clothing are getting as much busi
ness from Fashion Week as the cloth
iers. We find that hundreds of people
have come to Birmingham from all
parts of the state, and even from other
states, to see these new fashions in
clothes. But while they’re here they
appear to be ‘putting in* a general
stock of ‘supplies.’ They are .patroniz
ing the clothiers but they are patroniz
ing us, too, Ifctid we are doing a tre
mendous retail business. The Fashion
Week has brought them to town true
enough, and that’s all that was
needed.
“When people get Into a live, big, up
to-date town there are many .things
they want besides clothes, and there
appeals no doubt but what they are
proceeding to get them, much to our
complete satisfaction. There is no
doubt but what Fashion Week lias
come to stay and will be held every
taring in Birmingham from now on."
SEN ATOMS AND BAN'HI KTS
From the Philadelphia Record.
Four years of invalidism have turned
the mind of Senator Tillman to funerals,
lasting and fresh air. During these four
years he has seen (he vice president of
the United States and 22 senators carried
to their graves, and he is satisfied that
j they would have been still associated with
J him ir, the Senate if they had not at
tended so many dinner parties,
i It is curious how many persons who
i have outlived the efficiency of their diges
| live apparatus are convinced that death
I comes on-invitations to banquets. Upon
j what meat do these our Caesars feed that j
they should go too soon? Are not the!
1 viands wholesome? Doubtless one may
eat too heartily, but no one need do |
so; a little trouble with the stomach is
enough to make most men careful, and
those who will not be are liable to over
fat at home. The banquet is not their
bane.
It is not high living, but the time limit,
that lias been carrying off the colleagues
of tiie South Carolina senator. Recent j
' political changes and the admission of
several states have disproportionately in
creased the younger element of the Sen
ate. Yet the senators are not young men,
and Father Time, with Ids patriarchal i
heard, watching the hour glass, cannot j
but he busy among them. At 57 Vice |
President Sherman died too earl>. Rut |
too many men who are obliged to live j
frugally and to exercise in the open air
die still earlier to Justify the implication
that Mr. Sherman shortened his days by
sitting too long' before the terrapin and
the filet and the ices.
Among the decedent senators to whom
Mr. Tillman referred were Morgan and
Pettus of Alabama, who died at 80 or
above that. The latest of Ids colleagues I
to pass a \ ty was Bacon, at the age of 75
Senator C lorn, who died the other day.
hud retired from the Senate but only
a year ago. He lived 84 years, and for
30 of them had been exposed to all the
fatal Influences of Washington official
life.
Among the present senators are one ol
85 years, eight between 70 and 80 and 18
between 65 and 70. Here are 22, several
of whom are likely to pass out of this
• world within the next four years, whether
they dine at home or in company. The
greater part of the 22 senators who have
died in the last four years were men well
advanced in age, who entered the Senate
when the average age Was greater than it
is now. New parties, new politics and
new states have brought into the Senate
many youngsters of less than 60, and wc
trust they will heed Senator Tillman to
the extent of living cleanly and Carefully.
Blit they have already lived a good deal j
beyond the average, and the hour glass I
has been turned on them, and the scythe
will be after them in a few years, even
if they give up smoking and dine only at
home.
AIM. PVGE’S LITTLE BLINDER
From the New York Sun.
Tt is a pity that the United States Senate
should magnify the very post-prandiai
babblings of Ambassador Walter Hines
Page ito an “incident." The speech was
made impromptu, late at night* to a gath
ering of men who had beein dining well.
It was received with shouts of laughter.
The newspapers reported it only in the
most casual way. They evidently regard
ed it as wholly non-diploitiatic, unauthori
tative, negligible. It was in a way to die
unechoed when Senator Chamberlain un
happily discerned some political signifi
cance In it and called for the text, chap
i ter and verse.
Mr. Page asseverates that at the worst
he was guilty only of a feeble pleasantry
and that his hearers understood him in no
other way. Tho speech will never be
hurled at the head of a future Secretary
of State in the crisis of a diplomatic ne
gotiation. It is much too flimsy for con
troversial use. It is only by attaching
importance to it ourselves, by making it
the subject of senatorial oratory and de
partmental explanation that we can turn
it into a weapon of any use to an ad
versary.
The single point of view from which
Mr. Page’s little spark of indiscretion is
worthy of any great consideration Is that
of its bearing on the question of the
qualifications of diplomatists. It is one
more trifle going to show that ambas
sadors are not made in a night, even
from the best of raw material. The acute
sensitiveness, the unwinking alertness, the
subordination of impulse to discretion are
characteristics of slow and laborious
growth, the products of a. lifetime of
habit and discipline. Mr. Page saw an
opportunity for a pleasantry or two, to
raise a laugh, to add to the good humor
of a jovial hour, and he spoke without
giving a thought to troubled Mexico or
tiie “free toll" irritation. It was quite
natural in his case. It would have been
impossible to a real ambassador, who
would have preferred a myriad times to
be dull rather than once indiscreet.
NO “GOOD OLD DAYS”
Fannie If. Eckstorm, In the Atlantic
Monthly.
We may as well demolish the time-worn
superstition that the good old times again
are all we need to make us happy. There
never were any good old times. “Say not
thou, what is tiie cause that the former
days were better than these?" chides the
preacher, showing that the complaint is
as old as human nature. Hear Homer:
“Few sons are like their fathers; most
aro worse, only a fewr are better." If in
Homer’s opinion—and he puts the words
into the mouth of Athena, speaking in
the guise of Mentor, double distilled wis
dom-most men areworse than their fath
ers, then upon what degenerate days must
we have fallen! Given a. length of time
like that between ourselves and Homer,
and the complaint falls to pieces of its
own absurdity.
For one, I like to believe that the young
people of the coming generation are not
less able or less earnest, not less willing
or less devoted, than those of our own
young days. Those men in buckram whom
we boast of having fought, were they in
deed so much more formidable than the
giants in the path of the youth of today?
Were we never “cowards on instinct,”
pluming ourselves on our “discretion?" I
feel that we, the talking generation, might
suffer in comparison with the youth of to
day. did not our memories so often play
us false. Certainly not all of us have
achieved even honesty and courtesy and
common human kindness. Did we all once
have learning and wit and zeal? Where
are our zeal and wit and learning now?
Are our sons and daughters so much our
Inferiors? No, by my halidome! And we
know' it!
HILARITY IN BLGYILLE
From tho Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Art English medical man has announced
that ants are germ carriers and danger
ous to humanity.
Just try to imagine the wild hilarity of
the .sluggards and the grasshoppers who
have so long had this moclel insect held
up as an example for them!
TROUBADOUR AND JESTER f
A PIECE OF DOVE.
This poor old dove of peace of mine
Seems upon his last peg;
The feathers of his tail are gone
And wobbly is each leg.
His bill is bent, his left wing broke,
One eye has lost its sight:
And just when he’d cooed Huerta down,
Olc^Colquitt bobs upright.
\N ithout my friend John Bassett Moore
The problem quite perplexes
1 bate a land or sta^e that siV*Ils
Its name with those darned x's.
Don’t talk to me about X-ray :
•Such subjects truly bore mo.
Old Mexico and Texas have
Enough of X-rays for me.
And then to think that this poor bird
Of mine is no more use:
I wonder why; perhaps it’s had
Too mnch of that grape juice.
It greatly grieves me thus to knu.v
That what 1 dearly love
No longer is a dove of peace
But just a piece of dove.
MUSIC OF THE SPHERES.
First Wag: “What Is a-moonstone?”
Second Wag: “A moon’s tone is a luna
tick.” .
A PIPE DREAM.
No lips that touch liquor shall ever touch
mine
Said a prohibition miss:
So I used a watchmaker's blow pipe
Whenever 1 gave her a kiss.
A USEFUL KICKER.
Jonas: “llez Corntossle is the lazkzt
man in the country.”
Silas: '‘What makes you think so?”
Jonas: “When he wants to churn he
puts a bullfrog at night in a crock of
milk and next morning there is the green
back sitting on a hunk of butter."
SURFEIT.
Friday the thirteenth of Feb.,
Friday the thirteenth of March,
Hotli out of sight have hove.
Rut joy it does smother
To find we’ve another,
Friday the thirteenth of Nov.
PATRIOTIC ECONOMY. i
Tuesday was St. Patrick's day;
Its joy my memory joggles. I
I could not afford to purchase a tag
So I wore a pair of green goggles.
A QUESTION OF TAXES.
Escort: "I fear our taxi has broken •*
down.” f
Young Lady: "Dear me, is there no taxi
dermist near here?” (
AMBIGUOUS.
"Wife: "John, how Ihany cigars is that
for you today?”
Husband: “This is my seventh.”
Wife: “You do nothing in this w'orld but
smoke, smoke; and I am sure that's all
you’ll do in the next.”
GREAT TRIALS OF HISTORY ,
TRIAL OF CHARLOTTE CORDAY
T! I K sioi y of how Charlotte Corday.
the humble country gill, became
a French heroine by murdering
Marat, the revolutionary tyrant. Ib gen
erally familiar to all readers. Charlotte
brooded over the many wrongs that had
befallen her countrymen and women
through the Instigation of Marat, and
she decided that it was her duty to put
an end to his carnage. She was only
25 years old at the time, and inexper
ienced with the affairs of the world, yet
she planned and carried out a most un
usual plot to avenge these wrongs.
When Charlotte left her country home
and went to Paris she set a most in
genous trap for her victim. She wrote to
Marat: “I have just arrived from Caen.
Your love of country makes me presume
that you will tLvc pleasure in hearing
of the unfortunate events of that por
tion of the republic. 1 shall present my
self at your abode at 1 o’clock; have the
goodness to receive me.’’
At the first Interview* she had planned
she failed to gain admission to Marat's
house, but she was more successful when
she called in the evening. Marat resided
in a dilapidated house in the Rue des
Cordeliers, and he admitted her. The
revolutionist was at his bath. Charlotte
entered. Marat asked her the names q*
the deputies who lmd taken refuge at
Caen. She gave th^n to him, and he
wrote them down. “Before they are a
week older,” he said, “they shall have
the guillotine.’*
At these words'Charlotte drew the knife
from her bosom and plunged it to the hilt
in Marat's heart. She then drew the
bloody w'eapon from the body of her vic
tim and let it fall at her feet.
“Help, my dear—help!” cried Marat,
and then expired.
At this cry, Albertine, the maid servant,
and I^aurent Basse, rushed into the
apartment and caught Marat’s sinking
head in their arms. Charlotte stood mo
tionless. Several deputies who had ar
rive^ had her sent to Abbaye, the nearest
prison. When she was examined and
asked why she liad done the murderous
deed, she replied: “1 saw* civil war ready
to rend France to atoms, and, persuaded
that Marat was the principal cause of
the peril and calamities of the land, 1
have sacrificed my life for his to save my
country.”
Charlotte confessed that no one knew
of her intentions at assassiation and that |
she had left Caen with the avowed pur
pose of killing Murat. On her person uie
guards discovered an address, drawn up /
by herself, and calling on the French peo
ple to punish tyrants and restore concord.
Charlotte was placed in a cell and
watched even during the night, by two
gens d'armes. The committe^ of general *
safety hastened her trial and sentence.
The day following the murder the pre-si- ^
dent of the revolutionary tribunal, Mon
tane. came to examine her. She was re- i
moved to the eonciergerie. The next
morning at 8 o’clock she was conducted
before the revolutionary tribunal. When
she had taken her seat on the bench of
the prisoners the president assigned to
defend her the young Chauve&u Lagarde,
afterward illustrious by his defense f»f
the Queen. I
The widow of Marat wept while she '
gave her eviednee. Charlotte was cross- .
questioned and Fouquier summed up and /
demanded that sentence of death thould
be ^pronounced.
Her defender arose. "The accused, *
said he, "confesses her crime, she avows
its long premeditation, and gives the most
overwhelming details. Citizens, this Is Her
whole defense. It is for you to decide
what weight so stern as fanaticism should
have in the balance of justice. I leave all
to your consciences.*’
The jury unanimously sentenced her to /
death. J4he heard their verdict unmoved;
and the president, having asked her if
she had anything to say, she made ? o
reply; but, turning to her defender she
said: "Monsieur, you have defended me
as I wished to be defended;! ihunk
you.’’
On fieb r'etufn to the cohclergerfo, which
was so soon to yield her up to the seal- y*
fold, Charlotte smiled on her companions ‘
ir prison, who had arranged themselves
in the corridors to see her pass. A priest j
was sent by the public accuser to offer
the last consolations of religion.
Charlotte was executed on July 17, 1793.
As she mounted the fatal cart a violent f
storm broke over Paris but the lightning
and rain did not disperse the crowd that
had assembled. The sky, however, cleared
up before she reached the scaffold. In
the face of murder history dares not
praise^Tharlotte Corday, and in the face .
of heroism, dares not condemn her. fieri f
was a deed of which men are no judges, .
and which courts, without appeal, direct
to the tribunal of God.
TOMORROW—TRIAL OF LORD CARDIGAN
OREGON BEGAN NOTED TRIP
SIXTEEN YEARS AGO TODAY
J
THEN
Sixteen years ago today tile battle
ship Oregon began the moat remark
able long-distance race against time.
In all naval history. On this date#
In 189$ it left Sari Francisco to join
the warships in Atlantic waters.
There was an effort to surround the
Oregon's movements witli secrecy, but
everybody guessed iter mission and
bets vfere mude on the success of the
trip. Tension relaxed for a time after
tile Oregon appeared at. Callao, Peru,
her first stop, hut It became tile more
acute as she steamed southward to
ward the Straits of Magellan, where
a Spanish torpedo boat lurked and
tempestouous seas made the passing
of the straits hazardous. After 33
days out of San Francisco the Ore
gon dashed into the Atlantic, and up
the coast, evading the Spanish war
ships reported lying in wait for her.
On the evening of May 24 she steamed
Into Jupiter hay, having coveted the
14.000 miles In 07 days. The record
trip made her commander, the now
Rear Admiral Charles E. Clark, re
tired. a national hero.
HAS STOOD THE TEST
From tlie Talladega Home.
In all the fire centered upon Mr. Un
derwood by his opponents, not one vulner
able spot has been found in his record as
| a democrat of the true blue type. The
groundless charges made against him have
Vfeen repeated time and again, but they
have failed to find lodgment in the minds
of the clear-sighted people of Alabama
who can distinguish between a fact and
an empty campaign assertion
THE EXGMSH SPARROW
From the Mobile Register.
Birmingham is planning a war on the
English sparrow and purposes. to pay a
bounty of 1 cent each for dead sparrows.
A very good Idea; the sparrow not only
is a noisy nuisance, but runs other birds
away. A •widespread war on the creatures
would be sensible. They 'serve no good
purpose, and are very destructive to fruits
and gardens.
NOTED BANKERS TO SPEAK
From the Decaturs Dally.
Mr. J. M. Smith of th<v National City
bank of New York, and SorWexler, pres
ident of the Whitney Central National
bank of New Orleans, will be among the
speakers at the convention of the Ala
bama Bankers’ association which meets
fcsre lb May.
, r
NOW.
Today the Oregon's trip may be safe
ly recorded as the only one and the
last of its kind. No other warship
is likely to be called upon to make
he circuit of South America. Before
another war can come to pass the
gateway of the oceans will have been
opened at Panama. Then a modern
battleship steaming at the same rate
as tile Oregon, miglft make Jupiter
Bay, Florida, from San Francisco, in
less than JO days. She would not suf
fer for want of coal, as did the Ore
gon. She would need to refill her
bunkers but once, and this while pass
ing through the canal. During the
eight to 12 hours passage of the isth
must, the engineers could repair or
overhaul her machinery, and barna
cles. the bane of high speed, would
be cleaned. Thus refreshed, the bat
tleship could dash across the Gulf
of Mexico and into battle line well
stocked with both fuel and ammuni
tion.
•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••I
DEAD OR ASLEEP I
From the New York Sun. '
Picture chopper May Richardson is
right in saying that "the English nation
is dead or a8leep.,, If It were awake or e.jli
alive. It would have put the fear of God
into the Pankhurst Yahoos long ago.
AT THE END OP THE ROAD
Madison Caweiii, in the Bellman.
This is the truth as I see it, my deur.
Out in the^pind and the rain;
They who have nothing hfive little
fear
Notbing to lii«e or to gain.
Here by the road at the end o' the year#
Let us sit down and drink of our beer,
Happy-Go-Lucky and her cavalier,
Out in the wind and the rain.
Now we are old, hey, isn’t it fine.
Out in the wind and the rain?
Now we have nothing, why snivel and
whine?
What would IVbring us again?
When I was young I took you like wine.
Held you and kissed you and thought
you divine—
Happy-Go-Lucky, the habit’s still mine, / f
Out in the wind and'the rain. >
Oh, my old heart, what a life we havt
led,
Out in the wind and the rain!
How we have drunken and how we hav#
fed!
Nothing to lose or to gain.
Cover the fire now; get we to bed.
Long la the Journey and far ha* it led.
Come, let u* sleep, lass, sleep like tha
dead,
Out in the wind and tha rain.
* ” vi*- ' -■