The Birmingham age-herald. [volume], April 04, 1914, Image 4

About The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950

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THE AGE-HERALD
E. W. 11 \RKE'1T Editor
Knit red at the Birmingham. Ala.,
postoffice ns second class matter under
set of Congress March 3. 387'J.
Daily and Sunday Age-Herald.. 18.00
Dully and Sunday per month.70
Daily and Sunday, three months.. 2.00
Weekly -\ge-Herald, per annum.. .00
Sunday Age-Herald . 2.00
A. J. Eaton. Jr., and O. £. Young arc
the only authorized traveling repi •
tentative* of The Age-Herald In us
circulation department.
No communication will be published
without its authors name. Rejected
manuscript will not be returned unless
stamps are enclosed l'or that purpose.
Remittances can be made at current
rat s ct exchange. The Age-Herald will
not l»6 responsible for money sent
through the mails. Address.
THE AGE-HERALD.
. Birmingham, Ala.
Washington bureau. 207 Hibbs build
in g.
European bureau. 6 Henrietta street,
Covent Garden. London.
Eastern business office, Rooms 48 to
aO, Inclusive, Tribune building. New
York City: Western business office,
Tribune building, Chicago. The S. C.
Beckwith Special Agency, agents for
eign advertising.
TELEPHONE
Bell (private exchange connecting nil
depart meats), Mala 4000.
Slgnn of uohloue**, like ata*"*, nlinll
pblnr on nil deierver*. —Macbeth.
BEGINNING THE DAY—O Great
God, awaken my spirit. I breathe
the name air, nee the name nlglit*.
live the name life wrllh the giants
and the heroon and the saints. Show
me how fleet-winged are thcnc day*.
—but lion high, how radiant, If I do
hnt pnnn through them at my full
height. In Christ's name. Amen.—
H. M. K. _
<? The Country’s Potato Crop
The United States department of
agriculture has just volunteered some
salient advice and a quasi-warning to
the people relative to the supply and
raising of potatoes. It points out that
quarantine by reason of the continued
prevalence of disease is reducing the
imports of the potato to an amazing
ly enormous degree, and says “with
our great resources it should be en
tirely unnecessary for us to import
potatoes, but unless production is in
creased and maintained, years of
shortage may recur, and serious con
ditions may arise.”
It would be a matter of little or
no effort for the United States to
double its potato yield as the com
parative figures of the department
demonstrate. Germany has over 8,000,
000 acres in potatoes, while the area
in this country devoted to the same
culture is but 3,500,000 acres. Again,
the Gevmnn average yield is 202.5
bushels per acre as compared to but
96.2 bushels per acre in the United
States.
Germany’s acreage represents about
12.5 per cent tof its arable land and
the agricultural department states that
, if Maine, New York, Michigan, Wis
consin and Minnesota were to put the
same amount of their tillable land into
potatoes and secured an equivalent
yield, the product would amount to
1,558,344,000 bushels, which would be
about four and one-half times the
amount the entire United States is
raising today. The potato consumption
of this country is just three bushels
per capita for every man, woman and
child, and should the advice of the
department be heeded we would not
only have a sufficiency to supply our
home needs but would be able to ex
port annually millions of bushels to
other countries.
Simple Life Problems
Discussing the discontent that crops
out in idealistic social experiments,
Gilbert K. Chesterton says that the
difficulties of the simple life “are in
no case in the mere physical restric
tions themselves,” but in the “atmos
phere of the idea.” He declares that
“people dislike the theory of teetotal
ism much more than the practice of
it.” While vegetarianism may have
its good points along with teetotal
ism, the ethical alinospheie of the
\ one and the religious atmosphere of
\ the other are resented
Quite as tiresome as the “atmos
pheres” mentioned by Mr. Chestciton
is the habit of proselytizing that seems
to be inborn in people who abstain
from certain kinds of food and certain
kinds of drinks. Vegetarianism would
have fewer enemies if vegetarians
would stick to grass and mind their
business. They are not content with
being vegetarians themselves but
want everybody else to follow suit.
The more rampant among them when
in the presence of a meat eater put
on suclf airs of superiority that they
arc unbearable.
The teetotaler is much the same
•ort of person as the vegetarian. His
example is a good one, but he makes
the mistake of trying to force other
people to follow it. Naturally they get
“riled” and balk. It is human nature ]
to balk. That’s one reason why so j
much good advice is given away and
so little of it is used. "Don’t do that,
Tommy!” and “Don’t do that, M&ry!”
reiterated by a querulous mother day
after day will make a boy bad and a
girl stubborn, no matter how good
their intentions may be.
Brfigious arguments have split up
| more families than almost any other
! rause. The vegetarian or the teetotal*'
is, in many eases, it is said, a re
ligious bigot on a small scale. H>
makes his theories his religion and
sticks to them with pugnacious ten
acity. The result is that the laissez
faire crowd who constitute the great
majority find him a pestiferous sort
of person whose chief aim seems to
be to make his fellow' man uncomfor
table.
Being temperate in all things is the
secret of a happy life, but it is just
! as hard, apparently, for some teeto
talers to be temperate in their ideas
as it is for and old “'soak” to be tem
perate in his potations, while the caus
tic remarks a vegetarian makes about
a luscious steak are enough to alien
ate the affections of his closest meat
eating friends.
The average man will eat and drink
what is good for him and do what is
right, anyway, if he is let alone.
Mexico's Ever Shifting Status
Rarely have the shifting cubes of
the kaleidoscope moved with greater
rapidity or with a more bizarre effect
than have the features of the situa
tion in Mexico assumed their spectac
ular changes during the past? fort
night.
For a week the outside world has
attended in breathless suspense news
as to the results of Villa’s activities
around Torreon, and every day of pro
longed silence and deferred informa
tion has but added to the ominous
phase of the situation.
Both sides of the border sensed the
tenseness of the crisis and as no news
of surrender reached the Mexican cap
ital the growing insolence of Huerta
became daily apparent. Not only his
most intimate coterie of friends noted
the assumption of an air of bravado
but to those removed from the self
styled President was made manifest
the determination of the executive to
maintain his position until recognition
of his government by Washington was
obtained.
But the situation has again changed
and Mexico City seems to be in a very
paroxyism of fear. Reports of Villa’s
success appear to be confirmed and
the mob is about ready to do its work
of frenzy and rapine. Representative
O’Shaughnessy has notified the newly
appointed American secretary of the
embassy that it is dangerous to bring
his wife to the city and warns all
Americans to remain away, stating
that news of Villa’s approach upon
the capital will cause the community
to be thrown into a state similar to
(hat which would obtain should New
York dismiss its police force and turn
the city over to the rabble.
There is nothing that succeeds so
well as success and should the rebels
make anything of a showing in their
on-to-Mexico City campaign it is safe
to presage that Huerta's following
would melt away as snow would dis
solve in the rays of a summer sun.
It again looks as if the usurper’s
regime is approaching its end and
startling developments may be con
fidently expected in the near future.
• "■ "■ '• . ..
Farewell to the C'ow
Assuredly necessity is the mother
of invention and the high cost of liv
ing is flfccing science to discover
cheaper foodstuffs. If the recent
statement of the London Times is
true, chemistry has evolved a perfect
milk so that the cow may be entirely
eliminated as a factor of our domestic
economy.
The1 new fluid is called synthetic
milk and is based upon a discovery
made many years ago by a Chinaman
who discerned the possibility of sub
stituting the essence of the soy bean
for milk. The product had a disagree
able taste and the process rested un
til a German chemist suggested a
composite fluid which should contain
the exact proportions of ingredients
found in cow’s milk. The basis was
the casein extracted from the soy
bean to which fatty acids, sugars and
salts were added until a perfect emul
sion, which is milk, was obtained.
Then the bacteria that arc found in
milk and the lactic acid bacilli, which
Metchnikoff a few years ago ren- i
dered famous, were added and allowed
to act upon the emulsion until it
reached that state of maturity which
is obtained by cow's milk, and the new
product creamed and also produced
cheese and butter.
The product was tested and the
most expert dairymen were non- 1
pluscd in their efforts to distinguish
the synthetic milk from the product
of the cow. i
There are two great advantages to
be found in the chemically prepared
milk. It is free from contamination
of “milk born” diseases as tuberculo
sis, scarlet fever and diphtheria, and it
can be manufactured in quantities of
ingredients tt> conform to the require
ments of the physician’s prescription,
such as casein fats, sugar or salts .
necessary for the respective invalid
or infant.
Finally it can be produced much
more cheaply than can the ordinary
milk. The soy bean is now being
grown most extensively in Florida
and there is no reason why it cannot
be as successfully cultivated in Ala
bama. Its merit as a forage food has
long been recognized and establishes
-nd now i^aik the scarcity of cattl
n this country promises a diminutio;
of the supply of milk and consequen
rise in price the product the farm
ers of Alai a will be wise to culti
vate and exploit a legume that is no
only excellent forage but will supply
them with milk of a quality equal t<
that to which they have always beei
accustomed and at a much less cost.
According to an estimate made by ex
perts in the department of agriculture, tin
annual loss from hog cholera in ths
United States is $75,000,000. The eradica
tion of this disease is regarded as on<
of the most serious problems before tin
bureau of animal industry. The l^ss is
approximately as great as that from al
other animal diseases combined. Hogs
valued at $00,000,000 were killed outrigh
by cholera in 19111 and the loss to the In
dustry resulting Indirectly amounted tc
$15,000,000 more. Cholera is most commoi
in the corn states of the west and south
Tuberculosis and Texas fever are twe
other diseases that destroy a great manj
cattle in tlie United States. Although sta
ti'tics on tlie financial loss caused bj
these two diseases have never been gath
ered, it ruri3 up into the millions.
A pen and Ink drawing by Charles Dana
Gibson has been acquired by the Musec
de Luxembourg. This is considered a
great honor for the American artist. The
picture is “The Champion,’’ and shows
a pugilist of the Corbett or Jeffries type
followed by a crowd of admiring small
boys, ft appeared originally in Collier’s
Weekly and reveals, as so many of his
other drawings have done, Gibson’s won
derful gift for portraying character. Other
American artists who have pictures in the
Luxembourg gallery are W. T. Dannat,
Frederick MacMonnies, Ben Foster, St.
Gaudens, Paul Bartlett, John Flanagan,
Janet Scudder and John Sargent.
A professor at Vassar who was to have
delivered a lecture in a nearby city on
Raphael, got confused by train sched
ules and his esthetic audience waited in
vain. Which merely goes to show that a
man may know all about art and still
be unable to understand a railroad time
table.
When asked about the divorce suit
brought by his wife, Henry Siegel used
Ei naughty word, and said, “There is noth
ing In it.’’ Naturally it seems a small
matter compared to his other troubles.
At the request of Prince Henry of Prus
sia a speechless banquet was given In
Buenos Ayres. Sensible man. lie’s not
the first who would rather eat than listen
!o promiscuous windjamming.
A 50 per cent Increase In the num
ber of German women with mustaches is
•sported by Professor Hardmuth of Jena.
Vlore encroachment on male prerogatives.
The French aviator who took up nine
passengers more than 6000 feet In the air
doesn’t seem to care what kind of chances
he takes with other people's necks.
New York husbands were offered 25
•ents to act as dancing partners, which
shows that husbands arc still worth some
king, in spite of feminist hysteria.
It is proposed to change the name or
he progressive party to the “liberal’’
partj. By any other name it would still
ie the T. R. party.
Ah! So President Wilson didn’t know
le was “improving’’ Dr. Eliot’s English?
Still, that isn’t calculated to allay the
smart.
Representative LaFollette speaks of
‘crucifying the country on the cross of
3t. George.’’ Sounds like borrowed stuff.
A 7-.vear-old English boy, who can
leither read nor write, dictates poetry to
lim mother. Give him a top.
A New Jersey man who committed sui
dde at ^ pleasure park probably believed
n taking his fun seriously.
Bishop Quayle says humanity needs
map. He’ll never be Invited to address a
pobo army.
Mistral's faithful dog died of a broken
teart. Somebody ought to write a poem
ibout it.
Homeward the suburbanite commutes
lis way, bearing a pocket full of garden
seed.
How about some liniment for the British
ion's tail?
—■—■-— —-—
It All J<<>AD IMPROVEMENTS
Fro;n the Fort Payne Journal.
The Alabama Great Southern railroad
will make considerable improvements in
ts freight facilities at tills place. The
'reight warehouse will be extended about
>0 feet to make room for the increasing
imount of freight which is being brought
0 this place. Agent Garrison says there
ire or more country stores which get
heir goods at Fort Payne, and as the
jountry grows and tlie trade of these
tores increases the amount of freight re
ceived here for them is growing also an 1
hat rapidly, to such an extent that gomo
.imes the present freight rooms are
crowded to the ceiling and the additional
oom is absolutely necessary to meet the
ncreased shipments of goods. Fort Payne
s a distributing point for a large terri
ory on both mountains and is enlarging
hat territory all the time.
IN AN HEI.ESS LAND
rrom the New York Times.
Two New York men were touring Ire
and last summer by automobile. On a
lot July afternoon they came to an inn.
Stopping, they went into the bar. A red
dieeked peasant girl was the barmaid.
Hie travelers ordered Irish and soda. The
firl served them and then went on with
ler interrupted work of wiping the bar.
3ne of the men tested his drink and found
1 tepid.
"I say, my girl," he said, "won't you
dease put some ice in these drinks?"
Her mouth went wide open and the mop
)ing cloth was poised in midair. Amaze
nent held her silent for a moment. Then
?he found tongue in a hurry.
"Ice. is it? And who ever heard of Ice
n July?"
Whereupon she fell to polishing again.
I
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
I Will Improve Knplilly
"It seems to be generally believer
' t-hat the interstate commerce com mis
• sion will authorize an advance ir
. freight rates within the next 30 days.'
said S. a. Hudnet of Philadelphia.
“Such action will help business more
" than anything that has been done thi?
► >ear or will be done in the near future.
The eastern carriers filed their peti
tion months ago asking permission to
advance rates 5 per cent, and 9 know
not the cause of the delay. Not being
connected with the railroads I have not
: P»id much attention to the matter; but
. now business all over the country is
seriously depressed and In the east the
situation is acute. Just as soon as the
commission acts favorably there will
be a spontaneous upward movement in
nearly all brandies of industry and
trade. Instead of hard times we would
have comparatively good times the bal
ance of tlie year, and with big crops
this summer a boom would come."
Hay HuMhton’N Strength
"I have read in The Age-Horald many
tributes to Capt. Frank S. White, can
didate for the short term- in the United
States Senate, and much about his
strength in different parts of the state;
and 1 would like to offer a few obser
vations on Kay Kushton's candidacy,”
said Arnold Masberg.
”1 would not say aught against Cap
tain White or Mr. Watt Brown, the
other candidate, but being an early
supporter of Mr. Kushton 1 am natural
ly interested in his behalf. The popular
Montgomery gentleman is one of the
ablest men in the state, and his cam
paign has developed wonderful strength
lor him. My information is that he will
carry many counties and that he will
Le elected.”
Old Illyt<»n Cemetery
“In furtherance of the plans for the
restoration and improvement of the old
Elyton cemetery, the memorial associa
tion having tills work in charge urgently
requests that all persons who are inter
ested will identify and appropriately mark
the graves of their departed so that such
graves may more certainly retain their
identity in future,” said a member of
the newly formed association. “It is par
ticularly enjoined that this be done with
out delay and brought to completion by
tlie 16th inst., as it has been arranged
that a force of city laborers will be put
to work on that day to remove the strag
gling undergrowth and otherwise clear
up the grounds.
‘‘The general plan of arrangement con
templates individual attention to individ
ual or family graves, the care and over
sight of the grounds as a whole being
undertaken by the association.
“The next meeting of the association
is scheduled for 3 p. m. Friday, April 10,
at the council chamber in the city hall,
and at this meeting a full attendance is
desired.”
Iii the >1 union I World
“Those who made up the large audience
assembled at the Jefferson theatre last
Tuesday night are still talking of the
artistic merits of the piano concerto re
cital in which eight soloists—all ladies
appeared assisted by a local orchestra of
20 pieces under the direction of William
Gussen,” said an old music lover.
"Each of the pianists acquitted herself
exceedingly well. The orchestra won
much praise. It proved what can be
done by Birmingham's professional talent
after careful rehearsal. Mr. Gussen is
thinking of giving a Sunday afternoon
concert with an orchestra of 25 or 26 play
ers the latter part of the month. Such
a venture might lead to a permanent con
cert organization with a view of giving
a series of Sunday concerts next season.”
The Iron Trade
Mathew Addy & Co., in their Cincinnati
report for this week, say in part;
"March had a poor pig iron record. As
Compared with the months Immediately
preceding it was a great disappointment.
Its record might have been expected as
pig iron buying is always spasmodic.
There is not and never has been anything
regular about it, but the furnaces have
been kept fairly busy on old orders, and
prices are being well maintained. The
trouble with the iron trade has nothing
to do with prices. No consumer quarrels
with them, and everyone recognizes the
fact that no sweeping reduction in prices
would stimulate trade. On the contrary,
there will be no revival in business until
prices can be substantially increased so
that decent profits will bring again an
era of prosperity, enterprise and legiti
mate expansion. The great trouble is
that all prices except those paid labor
are at a minimum.
‘‘Throughout the entire iron trade there
is a universal feeling that nearly all our
difficulties come from the deeds of com
mission and omission on the part of the
law-makers at Waahinartnn ”
Alnlmnin ami Georalu Gold
M . A. Kunkle of Denver, the prominent
metallurgist and well known authority on
gold milling, who spent several days in
birmingham recently, and went from here
to look over the gold fields in Alabama
and Georgia, seems to have been greatly
impressed with the gold properties he
examined. It was his first visit to this
Part of the country. On his return to
Denver. Mr. Kunkle wrote to a friend here
as follows:
"My observations only covered a period
of three weeks in the 'gold belt,' but
during that time I saw a great deal of
the country through which it passes, and
from frequent tests and pannings 1 was
elated at the showings made at every
place I visited.
"X was disappointed in finding only shal
low workings on most of the properties I
examined, ami tills will never develop
mining in ,any country. However, the
showings made on the surface and at
what depth that had been obtained was
remarkable. And if the values hold as
even at depth of from 100 to CuO feet as
they do from the surface to 100-foot
depth, then I predict that within the
next 25 years or less the largest pro
duction of gold on the American conti
nent will be made in the states of Geor
gia and Alabama. But until some one
l ventures to prove that values do exist
to a depth that will insure unlimited ton
nage, nothing will be done more than
the shallow surface workings will produce.
This is not mining and will never amount
to anything. Mining must he done on
lines that will insure returns on large
investments, and nothing but modern
methods such as are employed in mining
districts in the United States,. In South
Africa, Mexico, etc., will ever win In
your section.
"Tlie idea appears to prevail in Ala
bama and Georgia that the saving of the
values contained in those ores is a dif
ficult problem. sBut I will take Issue with
anyone In that matter and prove to him
that the recovery of the valpes is not the
problem that has lo he learned. I find
simple methods that will not be expen
sive and along lines such as are used In
western ore reduction mills arc applicable
1—•
i to the recovery of the values from the ore
• in Georgia and Alabama. It will not be
j the trouble of how to save the gold in
j the ore; it is entirely a matter of obtain
ing quantities of ore containing values
i that will permit operating the mines, and
I sincerely believe that the ore exists
in quantities and value to warrant mining
on a scale that will exceed the Iron in
dustries as carried on near Birmingham
now, if developed along lines as followed
in gold mining elsew'here.”
FOLDING POCKET DWELLINGS
J From the London Daily News.
T. H. Holding, “the fully furnished
| man,” w'ho is to demonstrate at the
simple life exhibition how he carries
his bed in one pocket and his house in
another, explained some of his contri
jvances yesterday to a Daily News ln
j terviewer.
All that a man really wants to pro
tect him from the weather and supply
him w'ith warm food and drink need,
he maintains, weighs no more than six
pounds 13 ounces. Mr. Holding is in his
seventieth year, and that is the sort of
simple life kit he still uses.
His tent consists of 11 ounces of silk,
with a sort of fishing rod pole and
aluminum pegs. All his meals are
cooked on a tiny oil stove weighing
just over a pound, but capable of deal
ing efficiently w'ith a rabbit or a beef
steak.
Than _:i* 1.. . .
to keep two people cozy, though it
folds up into a package measuring 11
by 4 inches, and a water bucket hold
ing two gallons that can be tucked into
a space no bigger than your fist.
Mr. Holding has invented innumera
ble oth^* dodges in the way of concen
trated comfort—pillows that weight
next to nothing and are blown up like
a cycle tire, pots and pans that vanish
when they are not wanted, toilet ap
paratus weighing only a few ounces,
and so on.
By the time ho is 80 Mr. Holding will
probably have discovered how to get a
spare suit of clothes into a watch case,
and at least one quart into a pin*.
Pft.
Weather is a matter of almost com
plete indifference to a man of Mr. Hold
ing's stamp. In the shelter of his tiny
tent he laughs at rain, has endured os
| much ns 22 degrees of frost, and can
I regard snow with composure.
As for cycling, he recently completed
his 80,000th miles on a daily journey
between Pullham and the West End.
TRADED IX RARE RIGS
Topeka. Kan.—Kansas has the sec
ond largest entomological collection in
the world. Kansas obtained this by cor
nering the bug market one year and it
made the bug collectors “come
th rough."
Chancellor Snow, for many years the
bead of the University of Kansas, found
a little bug in the far western part of
Kansas, of which there were but two
known specimens in existence.
Chancellor Snow gathered up five
gallons, about 8000 bugs, and announced
to the bug collectors of the world that
he had some "tradin’ stock."
The chancellor dickered and traded
bugs. When he got rid of ills 8000 bee
tles, the rarest in the world, Kansas
owned the finest entomological collec
tion in America, and second only to the
British Museum, It is worth $500,000.
When he collected the five gallons of
beetles there was one of the beetles
at Harvard and another in the British
Museum, the only two specimens of the
1 eetle known, and collectors from .ill
parts of the world burned up money
by cablegrams and telegrams, sending
$25 to obtain one of the Kansas beetles
or agreeing to trade that much worth
of bugs for one of the Kansas speci
mens.
This beetle, Amblichyla for short,
lives in holes in the ground. Being blind
and unable to fly, it could not obtain
it food in the ordinary beetle fashion.
When the beetle built itself a home by
burrowing into the ground it built also
a little trapdoor over the entrance with
grass. It is said that the weight of
a gnat would spring the trap. A fly or
other insect that chanced to cross the
door dropped >iown into the waiting
pincers of the blind beetle just below
the door.
The beetles are an inch long and have
a hard, black shell over the back.
FOR A TOW X MUSEUM
From the El Paso Herald.
Every city, town and village ought
to have its museum. The first exhibits
should be in explanation of the country
around about, a display of the differeent
geological formations, a display of na
tive and migratory birds that are to be
seen in the open country, a botanical
collection, and a display of economic
products.
Witli this nucleus tlie town should
encourage loan collections of scientific,
artistic, or curious objects. Here should
be placed relics and documents, rec
ords of the early days of the communi
ty—anything that marks its develop
ment. Every good citizen of a town who
is interested in collecting anything rare
or interesting or beautiful should have
in mind leaving it to his town museum
when lie dies.
VALUE OF A NAME
From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The editor of a great magazine .sent
for a certain author who had sub
mitted an unsolicited manuscript.
"I am glad to make your acquaint
ance, sir," said the editor, enthusias
tically. "The story you sent us is per
fectly splendid. But why use a nom
de plume? Let us publish it over your
own name and it will make you
famous."
"I’m not after fame," objected the
author, “it's money i want."
“But you'll get just as much money
in either case." *
"No. I won’t. If 1 publish it over
my own name my wife will get the
money."
FRANK 8. WHITE
From the Roanoke Leader.
The Leader believes that its readers who
take part in the primaries would make no
mistake in voting for Capt. Frank 8.
White for the short senatorial term to
succeed the late Senator Johnston. Cap
tain White is an able lawyer, a line
speaker, a gallant Confederate soldier
and a consistent Christian gentleman, be
ing an active merrdjer of the Baptist
church. NVithout disparagement to either
of the other candidates we believe the
honor should go this brave follower of
Gen. X. B. Forrest. It may be the last
chance to honor him.
----
CARBON HILL PROSPEROUS
From the Carbon Hill Journal.
Carbon Hill is enjoying a continuous
growth and in nearly every instance tho
Commercial club has been instrumental in
bringing this about. (Since the Journal
was established here last September there
have been a dozen or more new residences
erected, and scores of homes added to
and materially improved; many new busi
ness firms have opened stores and estab
lishments here, and several new busincs
buildings have been erected.
1 TROUBADOUR AND JESTER
THE NEWS IN MEASURE.
Do you ever in reading the journals
Observe how the captions appear,
As though written in metrical measure
That captivates always the ear?
There's "Sweet Avis Linnel of Hyannls,"
"Carranza has Huerta at Bay;”
"The Repeal of the Toll Plank Is Com
ing;"
"The Giants the White Sox will play.”
And then from the dulcet and liquid
Snappy and quick is the text;
Chancing completely the measure
To that which you find In the next.
"Tlie Tango Tea at the Country Cluh,”
"A Militant Suffragette;"
"Ulster Wrecks the Cabinet;”
"The Kalamazoo Gazette."
"The Primary Is Next Monday.”
"Champ’s Houpd-dog is Loose;"
“The Crowd Cheers Billy Sdnday,
“Rescued is Bull Moose.”
■Temperature Stationary;"
"Bird Man Takes a Drop;”
f know you all are weary,
So just here I'll stop.
MAT AND DECEMBER.
In the spring a young man’s fancy
Fiercely turns to swatting flies.
But the old man to his tansy
Garden turns for exercise.
THE NAKED TRUTH.
Miss Nacy is quite proper;
She also is a prude. *
She says her bungalow caught fire
Because a wire was nude.
REVENGE.
Atlanta got that reserve bank;
At Birmingham she’s mocking;
But IT! get even; I’ll just kc« ;
My wages in my stocking.
NEOPHYTE SUBURBANITE.
Silas: “I'm afraid our new neighbor i-a
a poor farmer.”
Jonas: “Green, eh?”
Silas: ies; 1 told him 1 had to shoo his
chickens out of my garden and he said
he would pay the blacksmith.”
THE PENURIOUS POET.
Oh. would I could the muse enjoin
To bless me with a sonnet,
That I might barter for tin ,
Of^a's new Easter bonne?
—Youngstown T«. .rain.
Oh, would I could the muse entreat
To bless me with a sonnet.
That I could sell and buy some meat
With what it brought, dog-on-il.
—Los Angeles Exprera.
Oh. would I could the muse so woo
To bless me with a sonnet,^
That I might have an auto blue
And a chauffeur to run it.
STEP LIVELY, PLEAl- il.
Bilkins: "Tompkins is tic- laski-t man
I ever saw.”
Willkins: “What's the proof?'
Bilkins: “He gets corns cn his heels
every time he passes through a revolving
storm door.”
x GREAT‘TRIALS OF HISTORY
-
TRIAL OF FRANCIS BACON
Siri FRANCIS BACON, the English
philosopher and diplomat, found it
a difficult matter to prevail upon
his sovereigns to accept his philosophy,
and he was not diplomat to a sufficient
extent to know just how to handle the ob
stinate rulers. While he wrote letters de
fending Elizabeth during her reign, he
provoked her and her lords by his oppo
sition in Parliaiftent to taxation meas
ures in which the government was inter
ested.
When James came to the throne he
fared better for a time, and rose rapidly
in favor at court. He finally advanced
to the high position of Lord Chancellor,
but the enjoyment of his new honors was
brief. The storm which had been gather
ing against the government broke first
on Bacon's head, and on the assemblage
of Parliament, he was charged with
bribery.
The charges against Bacon were laid
before the House of Commons in March,
1621, and on March 17 the Commons re
solved to send the charges laid against
him before the Lords for inquiry, with
out committftig themselves on onfe side or
the other.
Bacon's health broke down over worry
caused by tlie charges and he begged for
time to reply to the accusations. Not be
ing satisfied, his enemies brought fresh
accusations. One of these was Lady
Wharton, who claimed that she had given
money directly to Bacon and had re
ceived a crushing sentence almost imme
diately afterward.
On April 16, Bacon, who was sufficiently
recovered to leave his house, had an inter
view with the King, lie begged his sov
ereign tct grant him a fair trial, but on the
20th he was given sufficient details of
charges to be laid against him that he
felt that he had a difficult task before
him to answer them. When the full
charges wore disclosed to him he at once
realized that a defense was impossible.
On the 27th of April Bacon made his
formal submission to the lords, hoping
that they would be content with depriv
ing him of office. The lords, however,
pressed for an answer to til* charges.
On May 1 the Great .Seal was taken from
him.
The Lords, who were to be the judges
of Bacon’s guilt, took the matter out of
the hands of the Commons, the original
TOMORROW—THE BACCARAT TRIAL
THE DIAMOND STAMPEDE
The Rev. T. B. Gregory, in the New York
American.
It was 47 years ago—March 30, 1SG7—
that the first diamond was discovered in
West Griqualand, South Africa.
The excitement that immediately fol
lowed the finding of the little piece ol
pure cargon resulted ini the craze that
pure carbon resulted In the craze that
Into the shade. From every part of the
world men began the mad rush to the
Griqualand settlement. In the meantime
a lucky dog of a prospector stumbled
upon the “Star of South Africa,” a stone
that was valued at something like $250,000.
and the rush became a stampede.
Well, to Kimberly there came a ninn
who did not participate in the almost uni
versal insanity—a man with a mighty
brain, clear-headed, and quite sell-pos
sessed, and with purposes that were al
most cosmic in their sweep—a man who
cared nothing for diamonds or the wealth
they represented, except as they might
he utilized for the furtherance of his far
reaching arms. That man. as all the
world knows, was Cecil Rhodes, the son o£
the poor English parson.
As Napoleon strode into the midst of
the mad melee of the French revolution,
commanded order and transformed the
wild chaos into empire, so Cecil Rhodes
laid his hand upon the mighty mob of
South African diamond hunters, quieted
it, took control, and turned millions upon
millions into bis strong box. The son
the poor English preacher became. the
“diamond king,” the richest man In South
Africa, one of the wealthiest men in all
the world.
The mighty man—one of the greatest
that has ever lived on earth—died in his
prime, hut fortunately not until he ha J
so arranged things as to assure the con
summation of^iis noble purpose. He died
—but he still lives in his blessed achieve
ment—the globe-girdling influence of the
“Rhodes scholarships," “the Cape-tc
Cairo railway,” which insures British
empireship from Cape Town to the Med
iterranean. and the increased solidarity of
feeling between the men of Anglo-Sason
stock the world over.
HISTORIC HOME BURNS
«
From the Decatur Daily.
What is said to have been the first house
built in Morgan county, with weather
board sides, was destroyed by first last
week when the old “Davis summer seat’
on Trinity mountain was consumed by
flames. The historic old structure, built
about 1S20, was burned to the ground.
The home had been handed down for four
generations and was built by Wylie Fen
nell near the beginning of the nineteenth
centun\ Before its destruction it was
the property of Jeff Davis. Built years
before sawmills were used in this count; .
it is said the boards with which the sick
were covered were sawed from the raw
timber by standing the logs upon their
ends and cutting down through them with
cross cut saws.
NOT IT I* TO THE MARK
“Stand up, Julius Caesar. Didn't you
have fits?”
"Yes, your honor."
"Weren’t you bald?"
j “I was. your honor."
"A dyspeptic?"
"I was."
"Dldn’f^.you write your commontiuii
for political effect?"
“1 did, your honor."
"Thereby proving yourself withmu
character. Below normal weightV"
"1 was. your honor."
"Then step over there with Napoleon.
Alexander, Hannibal, Newton, Kant,
Charlemagne, Tope, William Pitt an!
William of Orange."
“What’s the matter with them, yQur
honor?"
“Matter enough. They are all defec
tives. They’ve failed to pass our tests.
THRIFTY LOVER
From Uppincott's Magazine.
When she returned from her long stay
at a resort hotel, she received him with
an icy demeanor.
"I'm going to give you back our en
gagement ring," she said. "I love an
other."
“Will you give me his name and ad
dress?" he inquired, as he took the ring,
j "His address!" she exclaimed, in sur
prise. “What are you going to do-kill
him?"
"No, indeed!" was the reply. "I want
to sell him this ring.'
I1E2D
From Life.
Consoler of our toils and stril.*,
Of weary feet ami aching he^d.
We solve the problem of our lira
In bed.
Relief from trammeling attire.
Which like unrighteous rags we shed.
The simple life that w*e desire
^ Is bed.
We leave the things that merely seem,
The husks on which our souls are fed.
To taste the living food of dream
In bed.
From dismal bores and friendships vaUL
Too little done and too much said—
From pain, we fly to counterpane, /
In bed. a ^
I : f 'r
-* 'i • ■ „M> .4.
accusers, and had become tbcinuclves '.no
prosecutors, collecting and arranging ev
idence, accepting or rejecting deputa
tions, and doing all that counsel or th-t
committing magistrate would do prelimi
nary to trial.
There appears to have been no cross
examination of witnesses on Bacon's be
half, or hearing witnesses for him—at t
unnaturally at tills stage of tlie businvs.-.
when the prosecutors were engaged in
making out their own case, but considci
ing that the future judges had of the,.
own accord turned themselves into the
prosecutors, the unfairness was great,
In the accusations it was stated that
Bacon had taken many bribes of $15tn).
$2000 and $3000. The reason the seal was
taken from him was that a person to
whom it was attached was immune from
appearing before a bar of justice. When
he gave it up he said: "By tlie Kings
great favor I received the great seal; by
my own great fault I have lost it."
After they had found Bacon guilty they
intended him to come to the bar to receiie
Ills sentence. But he was too ill to leave
his bed. They did not push this polr.t
further, but on May 3 proceeded to settle
tlie sentence. There were men who talked
of every extremity short of death. Chief
Justice Coke, from his usual store of
precedence, cited cases to the Commons
where judges had been hung for bribery.
But the Lords would not hear of this.
"His offenses foul," said Lord Arundel;
"his confession pitiful. Life not to he dis
turbed." Rut Southampton, whom 20
years before lie had helped to involve iti
Essex's ruin, urged that he should Lx
degraded from tlie peerage, and asked
whether at any rate "he whom till*
House thingse unlit to be1 a constable
shall come to the Parliament."
Bacon was lined $203,000, and to be im
prisoned within the Tower during the
King's pleasure. He was to Lie incapable
of any office, place, or employment in
tlie state of commonwealth. He w i
never to sit In Parliament or conic within
the verge of the court.
This is tlie history of the tremendoth?
catastrophe by which, in less than tw.,
months, Bacon was cast down from the
height of fortune to become a byword
of shame. Bacon only remained for a
few days in tlie Tower, being pardoned
by the King. He lived live years longer,
devoting tlie time principally to literature.