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THE AGE-HERALD E. H. BARRETT Editor Bfhctreil at the Birmingham. Ala., postoffice as second class matter under act of Congress March 3. 1879. Dally and Sunday Age-ilorald..$8.00 Daily and Sunday per month.70 Daily and Sunday, three months.. 2.00 "Weekly Age-Herald, per annum.. .oU Sunday Age-Herald . 2.00 A. J. Eaton. Jr., and O. E. Young are the only authorized traveling repre sentatives of The Age-Herald in its circulation department. No communication will be published without its author's name. Rejected manuscript will not be returned unless stamps aro enclosed for that purpose. Rtmittances can be made at current rata cf exchange. The Age-Herald will not be responsible for money sent through the mails. Address, THE AGE-HERALD, Birmingham, Ala. Washington bureau, 207 Hlbbs build ing, European bureau, 6 Henrietta street, Covent Garden, London. Eastern business office. Rooms 48 to B0, inclusive, Tribune building, New York Cit>: Western business office, Tribune building, Chicago. The S. C. Beckwith Special Agency, agents for eign advertising. TELEPHONE Bell (private exchange connecting all depart incurs), Main 4iH>0. • I perceive In you so excellent a touch of modesty. —Twelfth Night. BEGINNING THE DAY—Till* I* Thy day, O Lord, and thl» Tlilne earth. The air I ahull hreathc la Thine, and the food 1 aliall eat, Hie people I ahull meet, the experience* I muat undergo—all Thine, And I j am Thine. Now help ua all to move j together In sweet harmony under Thine eye nnd ear. In t'hrlafa name, j Amen_H. M. E. __ '* The Lure of the Diamond ' Today the inhabitants of this city will flock to a man to Eickwood park to see the Barons convert the Gulls into the first step ping stone of the stairs that lead to a triumphal success. Birmingham has two woods that will not brook de feat—Underwood and Eickwood—and it is expected that today’s attendance at the latter will present a numerical strength equal to the majority,which the state gave the former in the re cent primary. The city commission has courteously accorded the occasion the distinction which it merits and the day of the opening of the season has been de clared a half-holiday. It is difficult to find a spirit that excels that of Birmingham in enthusiasm, earnest ness and determination, and the ^.’hamber of Commerce, the Board of Trade, the Business Men’s league, the Rotary club and the Ad club have '■ united in bending every energy to contribute to the success of the event. Everybody is going to forget busi ness for the nonce and repair to Rick wood. Mercantile houses will be closed, offices will be abandoned, and all care will be flung to the winds. The reserved section o£ the new bleachers will be occupied by those who have labored fox the perfect ap-~ pointments of this gala day. Badges have been freely furnished and special cars will convey the boosters to the park to witness the signal triumph of the Barons. Remember that Birmingham is on the map in more atlases than one; and your presence at the park upon the opening of the season is but rendering you a factor in the success of the movement which at the close of the professional series will cause this city to flare and glare as the biggest spot on the chart of the Southern league. Let every patriot be present, male and female. The Barons true now promise you Tile penant they will win: To doubt would be disloyalty, To falter would be sin. Seeking Latin-American Trade It is gratifying to note that the United States is taking steps to com mand that portion of South American .trade which should be ours and still more gratifying is it to learn that the Chilian press hails as a “red letter day” in the history of its country the arrival in Chili of members of the Chicago Manufacturers’ association to work to secure trade. There are ten great republics lying In South America beyond the isthmus, -yKnd yet our combined trade with them all last year fell below the volume of our trade with the Central American governments and their imports to us were $40,000,000 greater than our ex ports to them. In this respect we are surpassed to a considerable degree by both Great Britain and Germany. In the year just gone England sent to South America exports worth $273, 106,932, as compared with $153,305, 853 from the United States; and Ger many also exceeded us with $178, 852,809 worth of imports. When conditions of this character have been inquired into the universal reply has been that Europe was first in the South American market and that South Americans have grown ac customed to continental conditions and standards. This leaves a choice of two courses open to the United States merchants and manufacturers—either to grasp conditions of this nature or to demonstrate to the citizens of the ten republics the superiority or North American trade methods. Some years ago a consul of the United States in Brazil reported that canned gofids from Europe found greater favor among the Brazilians than did goods from this country for the reason that the wrappings and labels of the former were bizarre and highly colored and thus tickled the na tive fancy. He even reported that American hams and otner meats were first sent to Europe, recovered and then shipped to Brazil where they were purchased in preference to meats direct from the United States. Thus it is seen that to cope with the foreign rivals the merchants of this country must “cater” to the puerile disposition of the South American or teach him to abandon such sentiments. The past has taught that whenever the North American sets himself seri ously to the solving of a problem he usually succeeds and that he general ly gets that which he starts out after. Now that Chicago has initiated a movement looking to the securing of foreign trade, other localities will soon follow the pace and it is safe to predict that the time is not'far distant when the United States will command its full complement of the trade of the ten great republics. Mr. Miller's Retirement In on announcement in another column of this issue of The Age Herald Nathan L. Miller withdraws from the race for Congress, leaving the field open to George Huddleston, who received a plurality of the votes in the primary in the Ninth congres sional district. A very large element of the business ■people of this district will regret very much Mr. Miller’s announcement. He is a lawyer of splendid ability, a man of the highest character and honor and an able man in every sense of the word. He represented Jefferson coun ty in the state senate with credit and ability. He would have represented this district in Congress as a worthy successor to Oscar Underwood. Mr. Miller does not want to add to the turmoil of politics and is modestly unwilling to make the demands on his friends for time and services which would be necessary to overcome the plurality which one of his opponents secured in the first primary. Mr. Miller is a magnificent worker for his friends and has always been noted for his loyalty. He has, how ever, been too modest in pushing his own claims for recognition. Should he ever appear before the public again for office his friends will not con sider his election a foregone conclu sion, as they did this time, but will get out and work and win for him. Overconfidence on the part of his friends was the cause of his failure this time. Mr. Miller out of it, The Age-Her ald wishes for Mr. Huddleston a suc cessful congressional career; that he shall put his shoulder to the wheel, work, study, and, though he be young in years, endeavor to become a fitting successor to Oscar Underwood. Should Have Large Welcome The appearance in Birmingham of the Blackfriars of the University of Alabama under the auspices of the United Daughters of the Confederacy this week will be of more than ordi nary interest, and the young his triones should be greeted by a large audience. The Blackfriars have been here more than once before, and their acting was on each occasion highly creditable. But they are in even better form this season and will present one of the standard English comedies in a style worthy of the best professional talent. The Daughters of the Confederacy need funds and every purchaser of a ticket at the moderate price of $1 will be helping a good cause; but those who know !»bout the excellent work of the Blackfriars do not exaggerate when they say that no lover of dra matic art can afford to miss the forth coming entertainment. Birmingham and the University are joined in strong bonds and they will be all the while growing closer and closer together. The community of interest between the two is being distinctly felt now, and the flower of Birmingham society will doubtless be glad to unite with the University alumni in making the appearance of the Blackfriars a brilliant success in every way. Captain Eagan's Popularity For the first time in several months the atmosphere of unpleasant expect ancy is removed from police head quarters in Birmingham and confi dence is apparently restored. The old time “espirit de corps” seems to have returned with vigor. The cause of the removal of the “gloom" is the authori tative news that Martin Eagan is to be appointed chief of police at today's meeting of the city commissioners. The popularity of Captain Eagap has never been questioned, and yet it is a fine tribute to the little Irishman that his election as chief meets with unanimous approval on the part~f the men on the force. Many of the policemen have worked for years with the doughty captain, and knowing him, are glad that it is he who has been selected to lead the “bluecoats" of Birmingham. With the general public it has been felt for [ months that the election of Martin ; Eagan by the city commissioners would be cordially approved. 1 ---.. j The first railway In Iceland will soon be built. Plans have been worked out and it is believed that the Althing-, which is the national assembly of Ice land, will promptly accept them. The 1 country has heretofore had to be con tent with hardy Icelandic ponies as a means of travel and the prospect of a railroad is rausing much excitement among the people. The proposed line will be perhaps the cheapest railroad in the world. Its entire cost has been estimated at $9*8.000, which is about $13,440 a mile. There will be no luxu rious equipment for the stations. The most expensive one will be located at Reykjavik, the capital, and will cost but $14,000. The smaller stations will not cost more than $4000. The new rail way will be a narrow gauge line, and will traverse a fertile part of the is land. running from Reykjavik to Ran gavalle, a distance of about 64 miles, with a branch line to Eyrarbakki, a distance of 12 miles. Although there will be many hills along the route, there will be no tunnels. A great many bridges will be required to carry the road over numerous streams. These bridges will have to be of unusually solid construction to withstand the Ice landic floods which come down the mountain sides in summer. West Hammond, Ind. recently voted “wet” by a majority of 1300. The brew ers, to keep in the good graces of the cit izens of the town, have announced that they have organized districts, each in charge of a captain, who will watch the amount of money each man spends in sa loons. Any man who is a toper or de prives his family of necessities will be put on a blacklists and the saloon keeper who sells to him will be put out t>f business. West Hammond was given a great deal of notoriety by the vice i crusades conducted there by Miss Vir- I ginia Brooks. At least politics can t win the attend ance trophy and Atlanta will have to stand upon her merits when she com petes with Birmingham as a drawing card on the opening of the baseball season. A tank car in St. I,ouis was found to contain a stock of whisky, wine and beer in packages intended to relieve the drouth in Oklahoma City. Think of the watch ful waiting that came to naught! From the way Birmingham is stirred over the opening of the Southern league season it would seem that King Baseball has even a stronger following than King Politics in the Magic. City. Oscar Underwood had a grand ovation in Congress yesterday, •nut that was to bo expected, for the democratic leader is loved and honored as few men in public Me have ever been. A Pittsburg man has written a pamphlet entitled, “What To Do Till the Devil Comes.” He seems to take it for granted that the devil will put in an appearance sooner or later. --- Secretary Bryan s ’llama, having been refused admittance to this country and to England, lias probably made up Its mind by this time that there is no place like home. Henry C. Frick recently paid $200,000 for two paintings by Whistler. That seems the height of extravagance to the mar. who buys most of his “art” at a post card store. A Pennsylvania man is devoting a great deal of time to assailing evangelists in doggerel verse. He would be more ef fective if he could write better poetry. The simplified spelling board reports that S000 words have been “simplified.” After awhile almost anybody can be a bad speller and not be detected. A New York woman will pay $50,000 a year rent for a suite of rooms. The high cost of living* is as nothing in compari son with the cost of living high. The ’’stilt heel” Tor women’s slippers is 8Vi Inches high. The idea seems to be to make walking more dlgictilt and more dangerous than ever. There will be one consolation, anyway, in case Birmingham fails to win the. base ball attendance trophy—they can't blame it on Underwood. The meanest man on earth recently charged a stranger 5 cents for the use of Ids private telephone and then spent the nickel for a cigar. Birmingham fandom can vote a straight ticket for victory and best attendance tills afternoon. They are both home can didates. The first strawberries of the season sold for $i a pound in London. No doubt boarding house keepers bought most of them. The man who doesn’t cheer up wt<|n m itit beds are flourishing and fish begin to bite is a hopeless case. The California woman who wants to be nominated for governor can stay at home and be a queen. l r— ■ “R. i From tlie Cincinnati Enquirer The reason why a man makes his auto tear platforms off street cars and lilt nothing but the high places getting home in nine seconds, is because lie has time to sit around and talk about the weather for four hours after he gets home. Before marriage he sighs because he can’t get her. After marriage lie sights because he can't get rid of her. Practice may make perfect in other things, but it doesn’t seem to improve tiie marksmanship of tobacco chewers. 1IOI M) IN MOROCCO P'rom Judge. “Idsten to this: ‘The Emperor of Mo rocco Includes in his suite 30 keepers of the Imperial umbrella.* ” “Fmph! I’ll bet he'q come into con tact with some of the fellows down at our office.” I ) • I IN HOTEL LOBBIES Prospects for Auditorium “I am Inclined to think that ground will be broken this year for'our much needed auditorium," said Paschal G. ■Shook, president of the Chamber of Commerce. “After tile supreme court passes upon the validity of the auditorium bond issue voted by the people last fall there will be no trouble about whatever fur ther financing may be necessary. Public opinion Is now more strongly in favor of the auditorium than ever, Birming ham cannot afford to go longer with out a convention hall; and while we are at it we should build l ot only a large one, but one that will last for years to come.” The Ridgely Pilling I p “The demand for apartments at the Ridgel.v has been very brisk, and al though Hie building was opened only two weeks ago, there are comparatively few rooms unreserved," said J. M. P. Otts, representing the Jemison Real Estate and Insurance company, rental agents. “Notwithstanding the fact the Ridgely is one of the largest apartment houses in tills country, there is no question but that it will be fully occupied year In and year out. Everybody that lias looked through the building has spoken of it enthusiastically as a great credit to this city.” W ntcklng; Crop Reports “In periods of general prosperity only business men who are directly interested watch the crop reports; but when dull ness prevails in the industrial and mer cantile world, everybody is on the look out for harvest forecasts," said Henry J. Charlton of Chicago. “The present year started off very well and there was considerable trade activ ity in February, but since then there has been more or less complaint in business circles. Some financiers and Industrial leaders attribute the recession In business . to politics in Washington, but the most general idea is that hesitation on the part of the interstate commerce com mission on the question of allowing the railroads to advance flight rates comes nearer accounting for present conditions than anything else. If the interstate commerce commission will act favorably and act shortly there will be a very pro nounced business revival. The pig iron market will certainly become active. “Tn the meantime, all bueines men are looking forward to bumper crops this summer. If the west and the south pro duce as large crops and get as good \ prices as they did last year, we will ; have real prosperity; and if the railroads ! are helped a bit, business In all direc- j tions would be more prosperous than it J has been for two or three years past." | nirminglumi'M Steady Growth “Nothing indicates so well, perhaps. ' that Birmingham continues to grow j steadily as the demand for houses," said a real estate agent. "In many cities, both north and south, one may find 'For Rent’ signs very numerous; but in Birmingham va cant dwellings are few and far between. Last year hundreds of new houses were built in Birmingham, and it may be said in a general way that the de mand is still greater than the supply." lliiftlnens Good In CompnrlNon "We sometimes hear men complain about business conditions; but here in Birmingham it should be remembered that business is far better at this time than it is In eastern cities," said Sidney F. Lazarus. "Trade in my line Is quieter than 1 | would like to see it, hut I am not com plaining. On the other hand, I am thankful that we are not feeling in dustrial depression so much In this dis trict as is felt elsewhere. I cannot help believing that there will be a decided improvement a little later on. In our agricultural sections prosperity reigns, and as there are prospects for big crops again this year I look for a good average of business activity." Concerning Regional flanks "There are too many regional banks; and I predict that it will not be a great while before a reorganization of the dis tricts, as now established, lakes place," said a citizen prominent in commercial and industrial life. "The districts as now planned are too small and financially too weak to meet the demands of the large banking Inter ests. This Is especially true of the dis trict In which New Orleans, Atlanta and Birmingham are situated. It is called district No. 7, I believe. The federal re serve bank to be located In Atlanta will not be able to finance the cotton crop or that part of it east of the Mississippi river. I do not pretend to be an author ity on finance, but I would be willing to bet dollars to doughnuts that this dis trict,-will have to go outside for money when the crop moving time comes. Af ter Birmingham became a candidate for a federal reserve bank I wanted to see It ‘win out,’ but after all, the location of the bank is a very small matter. It is only a banker's proposition, and lias no relation directly to the general pub lic.. “Mr. Harding, who is an acknowledged authority on banking and crop statis tics, was strongly in favor of the num ber of regional banks in this country be ing limited to four. I can see now that three* would have met the banking de mands even better than four. After the new system has been in operation a year the federal reserve board will go to work to reduce the number of districts, al though it may be several years before the number is reduced to three or four. My idea is that in a year from now we will see only eight regional banks, and in two years only six. In other words, the extension of the district lines will be gradual. "The people will finally see that the federal reserve bank is something that should be entirely removed from senti ment and local pride considerations, and no one will care where a regional bank Is located, just so the district is strong enough to satisfy the ends for which the banking and currency measure was adopted." ANONYMOUS WRITERS New York Letter In the Cincinnati Tiines Star. One of the standing subjects of humor ous remarks among New York theatre goers is the weekly articles on men’s fashions, published over the nom de plume of “Beau Brummel,” in the programs of the theatres of the better class. Some people think "Beau Brummel” is a woman, while others believe him to be merely a haberdasher with a drug habit. However that may be. It is a reasonable supposition that no one wears any of the clothes that “Beau Brummel” writes about. It couldn’t be done. If any man ever arrayed himself in one week's output of the “Beau Bnunmei” fashions and started down Broadway, he’d land in jail or the psycopathic ward at Bellevue. The case of “Beau Brummel” is merely • funny. But here is a grim and pitiful little tragedy which Is in a way related to It. In a small tenement, at the eastern and poverty-stricken end of Fifty-sixth street, the police found John Conwell and his old mother, dead from gas. The man was past middle age and unmarried. They lived alone and he idolized the woman— a poor, old drunkard. The neighbors said He used to cry hysterically when she would stagger home, stupefied with drink. M last he turned on the gas while she slept and died with her. He wore cotton overalls at the time or his death, and the few articles of his wearing apparel found In the apartment were worn and ragged. Yet the letters and papers which the police took possession of proved that he earned a livelihood for himself and his mother by Writing articles on the latest fashions in men's dress. ..— -»•■ Ol R OWN HI TCHER’S BILL From the Wall Street Journal. In a recent address the dean of the law school of the University of Michigan is reported to have said: “During the year 1912, within the boun daries of the United States, there were 9152 men slain in violation of law by their lawless fellows. This number is greater than ever before has fallen by t*ie hands of t He lawbreaker. In 1910, 8970 were j killed.” Homicides per 300,000: 1914....6.6 390-5....4.G 1900.... 2.1 An increase of 214 per cent in 11 years is little cause for pride. Wc have before this become indignant at Armenian and other massacres in other parts of the world. Do they equal our own shambles? Count the number of Union soldieis act ually killed in the nine greatest battles of the civil war, including Gettysburg, Spott sylvania, the Wilderness and Antietam. The total is equalled by the fruits of two years of murder in this "law-abiding” country. Mr. Taft once said that our administra tion of criminal law was a disgrace. It is more than that. It is an invitation to crime., In two years it has resulted in over 18.000 homicides. Two years ago the supreme court of Oklahoma, in handing down a decision in a criminal case, took occasion to speak in plain terpis of the administration of criminal law in Amej ica. And it referred to the fact that in the city of Chicago 202 homicides were committed in 1910, biit in that year only one person was sentenced to death for murder. It is time for a radical change in the administration of criminal law, which has ramifications in every branch of activity and growth. There is room for a great change in the moral sense of our people, who lack, most of all, teaching in respect for the law. WARD HEROES l\ THE FILMS From the Chicago Record-Herald. The moving picture impresarios have now gained such confidence, experience and momentum that any subject, no mat ter how local its appeal or how narrowly ' biographical its nature, will got filmed 1 when Interested patronage Is foreseen. 1 The acme, thus far, in that sort'would seem to be th eeareer of “Big Tim” Sul livan, done in four reels for Xew York’s \ East Side. These show the favorite leader and benefactor from the cradle to the grave—from the christening party which followed the hero’s arrival In this 1 world to the funeral procession which ' followed his departure from it. Among Jeh intermediate scenes to stir the mem ory of his loyal supporters are pictures of Sullivan’s street fights as a boy, elec- 1 tion scenes, portrayals of his charitable work among the poor and a representa tion of “Tipr Tim” leading a grand march at a Sullivan ball. Doubtless such entertainment sets the hearty human sap to flowing in simple natures, but it is essentially misleading and scarcely tends to real edification, it 1 may even have the effect of establishing a bad precedent elsewhere. The time may come when our own local public will be asked, at 5 cents a head, to shed reminis cent tears over a character in public life 1 who gave Ills supporters Christmas tur- 1 keys with one hand and took away pretty nearly everything with the other. Any such procedure would be against clear vision and essential understanding of the situation. We hope the Bowery idea will ' not be adopted In other quarters. THE OFFICE SEEKING THE MAX From the Spokane Review. Whatever other meaning the triumph 1 of Underwood over Hobson for the 1 senatorial nomination in Alabama may ' have it possesses at least one unmis takable and undeniable significance. Solidity of character, a long record of effective congressional service and faithful devotion to official duty are [ preferred by the democracy of Ala bama to showy personal qualities and neglect of congressional duties that the 1 public pays its servant to perform. Representative Hobson has for many months been an absentee from bis post ' of duty at the national capital as the 1 representative of a congressional dis trict. He has allowed selfish personal * ambition to seduce him into running all > over his state in an effort to bunco 1 the voters into acceptance of his asser- i tion that he is competent and worthy 1 to represent the commonwealth in the 1 national Senate. But Mr. Underwood, 1 though naturally desirous of promo- 1 tion from the House of Representatives, < has lived and stood on the principle 1 that the office should seek the man, not 1 the man the office, and has refused to 1 quit his heavy and responsible tasks. 1 From this point of view the result of 1 the senatorial primary in Alabama af- ' fords encouragement to believers in the ^ policy of public men sticking like ad- l hesive plaster to their official duties. -...-] K \ISER S l A CUT TO IIE A MOl>EU 1 Berlin.—Details of the<new yacht Hohen- ] zollern II, which is being built for the i Kaiser, have just been published. She i will be of 7800 tons, compared with the i 4250 tons of the Emperor's present yacht t Hohenzollern. and will have a crew of 4d5 1 men. The present yacht has a crew of 35S. i The new yacht will have a steaming ] radius twice as large as the present yacht 1 and a maximum speed of 30 knots. Other 1 features will be turbines, submarine tig- 1 nailing apparatus, a double keel the en- < tire length of the boat, and many water- ] tight compartments which, it is con- i tended, will make her practically unsink- ( able. She will have armor similar to that on the armored cruisers, and al though she will carry only saluting guns, 1 others can be mounted. The Hohenzollern 11 will be fitted anct I illuminated like the most luxurious liners. : NOT NEAR ENOUGH ( From Everybody's Magazine. A farmer in great need of extra t hands at haying time finally asked Si , Warren, who was accounted the town j fool, if he could help him out. "What’ll you pay?” asked Si. , "L’ll pay what you’re worth,” an- i swered the farmer. So scratched his head a minute, then announced decisively: 'Til be darned If I’ll w'ork for that!’' < * A . .•••••••••••§••«•••••••••*« NORMANDY FIGHTS “DEMON RLM” Caen.—This city is beginning to resent quite seriously the reputation which, to gether with the surrounding country, it has been enjoying more or less for a great number of years. The worst of it is that according to government statis tics there are more inebriates here than in any other part of France: and the rep utation is therefore well deserved. Not only when it’s apple blossom time, but all year round in Normandy the streets and roads are rarely without one. two or even a small crowd of men unable to find their way home. But all this will soon change if the campaign undertaken by a local newspaper, Le Bonhomme Normand, proves as effective as is ex pected. Beginning with last Sunday’s Issue, Le Bonhomme Normand announced that it will hereafter print every week a com plete list of all those who have been seen intoxicated during the past seven days in the streets of Caen. The first list met with great success. Every wife in town carefully scrutinized *it, fearing at first to find the name of her husband and rejoicing thereafter over the fact that families of friends or neighbors were well represented. The editor has been flooded with letters of encouragement from the women and to these communi cations he gives much space in his paper. But no mention is made of the other mes sages which he undoubtedly also is re ceiving. ISLAND COVERED WITH GLASS From the London Telegraph. “Why! the beautiful little island has been spoiled by the fruit growers." So said an enthusiastic lover of nature when he* landed at Guernsey a few days ago. Who ever heard a disparaging word about the lemons, oranges, vines, fig*, olives, and flowers that abound In Sicily? It would be considered the height of bad taste to object to those delightful growths of the Mediterra nean island. Then why complain of the cultivation in Guernsey? Because I it is quite different. Sicily’* products | grow under the canopy of heavtn. but Guernsey-!* practically one large glass •••••••••••••«•••••••••••••••••••••••••■••••■••••••* house. Nurseries, growers, and agents are the principal features of the place. The names of British fruit and flower salesmen are emblazoned in prominent f f positions, and conversation in Gurnsey does not stray much beyond the limits of such subjects as deal directly with the cultivation and marketing of fruit and the breeding of cattle. It Is all very well for the idealist to grumble because the natural beauty of the place is injured by the emormpus number of glass houses, but this is a utilitarian age, and the output of those houses is most acceptable to England in general and London in particular. From ;; the 2-1 square miles contained in the is land some of the choicest fruits, flow ers, and vegetables that grace the table are derived. Beautiful carnations, foliage plants, including the trailing smilax and decorative flowers of va rious kinds find their way from Guern sey to the English markets. Richly fla \ ored tomatoes, new potatoes, forced beans and peas, melons, figs and grapes also must be named among the im- _ portant contributions of Guernsey which delight the epicure. THE THINGS I MISS By Thomas Wentworth Higginson. As easy thing, O Power divine, To thank Thee for these gifts of Thine: For summer's sunshine, winter’s snow, For hearts that kindle, thoughts that ; glow, But when shall I attain to this— To thank Thee for the things 1 miss? For all young fancy’s early gleams, The dreamed-of Joys that still are dreams, Hopes unfilled and pleasures known Through others’ fortunes, not my own. And blessings seen that are not given, And never will be this side heaven. Had I, too, shared the joys I see, Would there have been a heaven for me? Could I have felt Thy presence near Had I possessed what I held dear? J M My deepest fortune, highest bliss, J Have grown, perchance, from thing* I miss. Sometimes there comes an hour of calm: I Grief turns to blessing, pain to balm; ! A Power that works above my will * Still leads me onward, upward still; * And then my heart attains to this— * To thank Thee for the things I miss. • \ TROUBADOUR AND JESTER ICONOCLASTIC The old oaken bucket that hung in the well, I’ve often imagined that strong it did smell Of caterpillars, worms and perhaps of, snails; I don’t believe I'd care to drink out of such pails. The old oaken bucket that hung in the well, I'm sure that a tale of microbes it could tell; Of bacilli, too, of pathogenic creation. Today we'd condemn*it for insanitatiorr. In this our era of cups individual I'pon that old bucket we’<l employ the strlgil, The old oaken bucket upon the well wall, Jn fact, I don’t believe we'd use it at - all. A REA I, PEST The fragrance of everything vernal In spoiled by the ^rifling galoot \\ ho makes a whole street car Infernal With fumes of his dying cheroot. — Youngstown Telegram. The fragrance of all that Is elegant Is spoiled by the tranej bogy Who a street *car to phosphate plant Turns with his Pittsburg stogy. REAL WONDERS We’ve been in many cities And sailed from many docks. But never found a bootblack Who did not daub our socks. —Youngstown Telegram. We’ve been In many cities And sailed on many ships, ^But never found a waiter Who would refuse our tips. —Houston Daily Post. We’ve been in many cities And sailed to many lands, But never found a youngster Who liked to wash his hands. —Baltimore News. We’ve been In many cities Seen sights, believe us. kid. But never saw a girl who liked To wear a last year’s lid. —Los Angeles Express. We've been in many cities That bask beneath the sun. But we never saw a Hobson man Who could tell how it was done. ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••■#•**#«##*»( VERSATILE He is a fine musician. Rut if his calling fails. _ He'd make a good fishmonger, ^ For he can handle scales. He is a fine musician. The world about him raves; But he would make a cooper, For he can fashion staves. 1 He is a fine musician, And never fails to please; But he would make a jailor, For he knows all the keys. ' j He is a fine musician, And on his playing dotes, : But he could he a banker, i For he is fond of notes. He is a fine musician. And lifts you to the stars; But he could make a cocktail, For he's at home in bars. He is a fine musician. And wears his hair in plats; Dut 1 don't like his company; He lives with sharps in flats. POLITIC Jinks; “I see that ‘Bathhouse John* boat his female opponent in the Chicago election.” Bilkins: ‘‘Yes, the woman made a mis- ! take. They should have nominated ‘washtub Jane’ against him. ' A NEW VEHICLE First Dude: ‘‘When away from home I always travel incognito.” ' Second Dude: "Is that so? I always go in a Pullman.” RAGGED ROBINS j If Coxey’s aripy has a band Of music on the wey, I'm sure when they reach Washington ! Some rag-time will they play. j A BIRD MAN When birds migrate in winter, V My fate with them I blend For though I don’t move southward, On my grate I depend. -C. F. M. GREAT TRIALS OF HISTORY . TRIAL OF ASSASSIN OF CANOVAS Till1, murder of Senor Conovas del Castillo, the Spanish prime minis ter, on Sunday, August 8, 3S97, brought on one of the most critical pe riods in the history of that county dur ing the nineteenth century. Spain had been in such an unsettled state for a long time that the taking off of her right arm, for such was Canovas con sidered, almost meant the dissolution of existing government. The deed was committed by a Neapoli tan anarchist at Santa Agueda. His name was Michele Angina Golli. The prime Truster had gone to Santa Agueda with his wife for the baths. The murderer fired three shots, one of which struck Canovas in the forehead and an other in the chest. He fell at the feet of bis wife, and lingered in agony for two hours before he passed away. Golli was immediately arrested. He de clared that he had committed the deed “in accomplishment of a just vengeance.” At the moment of the assassination the minister was waiting in the gallery of the bathing establishment for his wife. The assassin narrowly escaped lynching at the hands of the waiters and attendants. Detectives and civil guards immediately arrested him. The day following the murder Golli, the assassin, made a confession, in which he stated that his deed was an act of re venge for the execution of anarchists at Barcelona. As the premier lay dying on the ground, his wife reproached Golli for his crime, crying, “murderer.” In reply to the agonizing words of the dis tracted wife he answered coolly: “i respect you because you are an hon-1 orable lady, but I have done my duty and am now easy in mind, for 1 have avenged my friends and brothers | of Montjuich.” Montjuich is the fortress of Barcelona, outside of which the anarch ists W'lio had been sentenced to death for outrages they had committed were exe cuted by being shot in the back. Michele Golli, or Angiolino, was 32 years of age. He was the member of an honest family, his father being a tailor. His military record was bad and* he was classed as a disobedient'nnd trou blesome soldier. Canovas was buried in Madrid on Au gust 13. At the funeral the widow of the | TOMORROW—THE ! aeaa premier saw: “1 desire that all should know that I forgive the assassin. It is the greatest sacrifice 1 can make, but 1 make it for the sake of what I know of my husband’^ great heart." ’ On the morning of the funeral three anarchists were arrested In Milan. On 1 their person were a number of incrimi- j nating documents showing that there had existed an international anarchists plot. The documents captured Included let ters from Caserlo Santo, the assassin of President Carnot, and Pietro Acciarito, who attempted to assassinate King Hum bert on the previous April. The trial of Golli was begun at Ver gera, Spain. It was a courtmartial trial j presided over by a lieutenant colonel and j captains of artillery. All the statements \ of the prisoner were submitted in writ ing. When lie was brought In for ex- j an.ination he refused to choose counsel | and the judge appointed Lieutenant Cor- j ria, of the artillery, to defend him. He accepted the duty and made the defense insanity. An interview was given to the news papers by the prisoner, in which he as serted that the assassination of President Faure of France, had not ben suggested, ! but that the only person whose death had been decreed were Premier Canovas for torturing anarchists, and General Polavieja, for ordering the execution of Dr. Kisal, the leader of the insurgents in the Philippine Islands. About 200 persons were present at tho trial, which only lasted two hours. The prisoner, heavily manacled, sat between two gendarmes, and immediately In front of him were the judges. On the table , nearby lay his revolver and other ma terial evidence of the crime. Golli was put to death by the garrote at 11 o'clock, ofi August 20. He heard the news calmly that he was to be exe cuted on that day. An executioner from Burges performed the garroting. Just prior to the execution a priest ordered the anarchist to repent, to which he re sponded: “Since you cannot get me out of prison, leave me in peace. I myself will settle with God." Senora Catenas requested the priest who gave extreme 1 unction to her husband as lie was dying from the assassin's bullet, in the bath at Santa Agueda, to visit GOlli and assure him of her forgiveness* STAR ROUTE TRIALS **■