The Birmingham age-herald. [volume], April 18, 1914, Image 4

About The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950

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THE AGEHERALU
E. H. RAKRGTT Editor
Entered at the Birmingham, Ala.,
postofflco os second class matter under
act of Congress March 3. 187'J.
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through the mails. Address,
THE AGE-HERALD.
Birmingham, Ala,
Washington bureau, 207 Hibbs build
ing.
European bureau, 6 Henrietta street,
Covent Garden, London.
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60, Inclusive, Tribune building. New
York City. Western business office.
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eign advertising.
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4e|>artmeuts), Main 4000.
HI* linmour !m lofty, hit* discourse
peremptory. —Love's Labor Lost.
BEGINNING THE DAY—O God.
help me to he faithful today—faith
ful to la«k, to family, to friends, to
all men. to God. Give me to work,
to love, to live, n* under Thine eye.
nnri ns waiting Thy word upon what
1 do. Help me to build today a*
upon my eternal house. For ( hrlst'a
«akr. Amen.—H. M. E.
Mercy Homo Demonstration
The Mercy Home is one of Birming
ham's most deserving institutions.
Few there are, indeed, that appeal so
thoroughly' to the public. The Mercy
Home is doing a great work and gen
erous hearted citizens glady con
tribute to its support. The good ladies
who manage the home welcome visi
tors, and while many' citizens inspect
the institution from time to time they
form only a small percentage of those
who feel a lively interest in the work,
but who are not able to avail them
selves of opportunities to call and see
what is being done.
In order, therefore, that the public
may become better acquainted with
the activities of the Mercy Mome a
demonstration will be given next Mon
day ~and Tuesday in one of Loveman,
Joseph & Loeb’s windows. There will
be relays of children taking part in the
exhibition, and in this way the dif
ferent parts of the work will be seen
and understood, ouch a demon '•
is sure to arouse gi.c el interest in
the institution.
Subscriptions to the Mercy Home
will be in older, and representatives
of the management will be on hand
to receive contributions. During the
two days of dernonstrul.on money
aggregating a :ry substantial sum
will doubtless be contributed.
educational Surveys
What Dr. Clyde Furst, secretary of
the Carnegie foundation, calls the
‘‘spring style in education” is the
state-wide educational survey. In a re
cent address Dr. Furst stated that the
first survey of this kind was made in
Vermont, where every department of
education, particularly the elementary
and secondary schools, was investi
gated by experts drawn from all parts
of the country by the Carnegie foun
dation. It is too early yet, said Dr.
Furst, to say what the practical re
sults will be in Vermont, but he con
sidered it an “interesting and profita
ble experiment.”
The educational survey is a sort of
expert diagnosis of educational con
ditions and shows just what consti
tutes the weakness and strength of
an educational system. In Vermont,
for instance, a number of timely
recommendations were made, which
may be acted on or not, as the voters
see fit. The people of Vermont at
least have the satisfaction of knowing
that the most capable men in the
country have studied their educational
methods in a painstaking way and
have suggested reforms that are
needed.
Some communities have acquired
the “survey habit,” and have had sev
eral surveys in the past few years.
These surveys, of course, are not com
. plete and may do more harm than
good, but a thorough and accurate in
vestigation, such as the experts em
ployed by the Carnegie foundation are
able to make, offers many advantages.
It shows people who take an interest
In such matters what is being done to
, educate children.
The survey in Vermont cost about
$20,000, but according to all reports
was well worth the money. Other pro
gressive states are beginning to feel
that they must have a survey too.
—.. .
The I’assing of “Gath"
George Alfred Townsend, the great
war correspondent who wrote under
tiie pen name of “Gath,” recently died
in New Voik city at an advanced age.
He was never admired by the south
and his extravagant and reckless
■ statements in the press won for him
an unenviable soubriquet.
Still, he was a great writer, and for
forty years contributed a daily letter
of from two to four columns in length
to the Chicago Tribune, Cincinnati
Enquirer and other journals.
He was the war correspondent of
the New York World during the clos
ing year of hostilities between the
states and during the seven weeks’
war between Austria and Prussia, in
1866. His newspaper letters had a
ready appeal for the average reader
because of their human interest, lumi
nosity and gossipy style. If he did not
found the modern “school” of gossipy
correspondence, he was a pioneer in it,
and no matter what he wrote about
his letters were exceptionally read
able.
He lived for sometime in England,
where he lectured, and visited Spain
to obtain data for his Life of Christo
pher Columbus.
Mr. Townsend erected a magnificent
villa upon South mountain, Mary
land, near the battlefield of Cramp
ton's Gap, and ornamented its ap
proach with an impressive arch as a
monument to the war correspondents
who died upon the field or while serv
ing in that capacity.
His first romance, “The Entailed
Hat,” was well received, and “Katy of
Catoctin,”a novel dealing with the as
sassination of President Lincoln and
the history of J. Wilkes Booth, estab
lished his fame as a novelist.
He also indulged in versification
and wrote a few minor plays. Mr.
Townsend was the last of the old
school of writers of which Ben Purley
Poor, Manton Marble and Lew Wal
lace were exponents.
1 he Federal Reserve System
Now that the federal reserve dis
tricts have been formed and the bank
centers designated by the organization
committee, the federal reserve board,
which must be appointed by the Presi
dent between now and the first of
May, will make operative the new sys
tem under the banking and currency
law. Secretary of the Treasury Wil
liam G. McAdoo and Comptroller of
the Currency John Skelton Williams
are to be ex officio members of the
board which will consist of seven. It
may be assumed that the five to be
appointed will be men of recognized
ability and standing.
The board will be presented with
protests from Baltimore, New Orleans
and one or two western cities, ex
pressing dissatisfaction with the re
gional lines fixed by the organization
committee and especially with the
cities chosen for'federal reserve banks.
The full board will doubtless stand by
the work of the committee, especially
since two members which constituted
a majority of that committee are to
be ex officio members of the board.
If Baltimore made a serious effort
to obtain one of the federal reserve
banks it kept quiet about it, for it
was understood from the start that
Richmond would be selected for the
district which was to embrace Mary
land. New Orleans made an earnest
effort, but its fight was unavailing.
It was the same way with Denver.
Kansas City was selected instead of
the Colorado city.
The federal reserve board will have
serious duties to perform in setting
in motion and supervising the federal
reserve system. The committee de
cided in favor of twelve districts, the
maximum number allowed by law; but
many financiers are of the opinion
that the number will be reduced to
six or even four. It is reasonable,
however, to think that the board will
give the present arrangement a fair
trial. Baltimore and the other pro
testing cities will have to wait. As
one of the New Orleans papers re
marked in opposing a formal protest
when the people of the Crescent City
organized an “indignation" movement,
“It would be like a post mortem over
a poker hand."
It may be a year before the new
system is well tested. In the sec
ond year it need surprise no one if
the district boundary lines are consid
t rably extended, and if Atlanta,
New Orleans, Birmingham and Nash
ville are all thrown into a region of
which Cincinnati or Louisville is made
the financial capital. In the meantime
bankers and other business men and
farmers -agriculture is to be especial
ly benefited—will look forward with
lively interest to the inauguration of
the system.
Prof. Harry Jenson, Yale's organist,
was arrested in Home because he resem
bled a man wanted fur an alleged tlieft
of Jewelry. At first glance this might
look like an attempt at retaliation for
the way Italian organists are sometimes
treated in this country.
The two bandits who held up a train
in tip- west and were badly beaten by
tlie train crew and passengers must have
been very slow on the trigger, or else
their eyes lacked that steely glitter so
I i eessary to successful train robbing.
An automobile belonging to Daniel H.
Telman, the "loan shark," struck and
seriously Injured a Sister of Charity.
Jus' the kind of accident that might have
been expected from a "loan shark's” auto.
Jane list is rapidly eoniing to be looked
on us the noisiest woman iu the United
States.
\
A curious story is told In the Fondor
limes by a medical correspondent wh<
describes a woman's spider sense. She
can detect a spider in any loom where
she happens to be without having an>
previous knowledge of Its presence an']
w ithout seeing it. She becomes violently
ill when her Btrange faculty reveals the
spider and suffers greatly until it is re
moved. The symptoms include acute nau
sea, nervousness and debility. This wom
an has been known to indicate where
a spider could be found, after others had
searched for it in vain, saying that shs
'had a feeling’’ that the spider was con
cealed in a certain place.
It is bad enough that mayors of great
cities and other men high in public life
are in more or less jeopardy from the
assassin's bullet, but it Is some relief
to know’ that in most cases the would
be assassin is demented. It would be
terrible indeed if New York's mayor had
to be guarded from sane men. murder
ously inclined.
—.—— - -- ■ —
The field of Waterloo is an ideal site
for country villas and sentimentalists
who go there to shed tears where brave
men fell are apt to find themselves cry
ing in somebody s garden.
Three women wearing the new’ panta
loon skirt w’ere arrested in Brooklyn for
obstructing traffic. A busy thorough
fare is no place to exhibit freak styles in
women s clothes.
A suffragist in Omaha says she will
enter a bread or cake baking contest
with any “anti” and let her opponent set
tle the terms. That’s the way to talk.
A grandson of Robert E. Fee was
dropped from West Point because be
failed in mathematics. Still, he made a
fine record as an athlete.
Anna Held is not worrying over her
former husband's marriage to Billie
Eiirke. Maybe the fair Anna has some
little plans of her own.
There are said to be 56,000 teetotalers in
the English army. If that sort of thing
continues, Kipling will have to revise
some of his poetry.
Forty-five divorces were granted in
Houston in one day recently. Must be a
sort of reaction down there against red
headed widow's.
The Pennsylvania railroad has cut off
the supply of free bread in its dining
cars. Add another item to the high cost
of living.
A preacher says hell is full of people
dancing the tango. Ma^vbe they are only
jumping up and down oecause the floors
are hot.
A Viennese tailor w’ho recently gave
$750,000 to charity, probably ne'er had
any trouble in collecting his bills.
The dancing masters who met in Paris
indorsed the tango, w hich is now, we pre- j
some, officialy recognized.
The “welcome” Coxey’s army will re
ceive on its march to Washington will
be covered with Icicles.
Mr. Taft says he is a poor politician.
A graceful acknowledgment of an in
dubitable fact.
Our idea of extravagance is buying an
overcoat just to wear in spring.
TR ANSATLANTIC TGLBPHOK hi
London Correspondent in New York
Times.
William Marconi readied London re
ventlygind reiterated his prediction that
i'e would be able to telephone across
the Atlantic in the near future—possi
bly within six months.
".Some newspaper accounts of my re
cent experiments in Italy," lie said
"were very funny. Here is one tlial says
i succeeded In talking over a distance
of more than 1000 miles. As a matter of
fad we talked by wireless over a dis
tance of slightly more than 45 miles,
which was all we expected and knew
we could do with the apparatus we
were using.
"We were experimenting with brand
new apparatus on which 1 began work
only three months ago and which seems
very simple and very practical. We did
nut Intend it to work over big distances.
It was not tried over long distances; In
fact, I knew it would not work mucii
over 45 miles. The same type of ap
paratus w ould have worked over longer
distances, but what we were after was
not long distance records, but reliabili
ty-—reliability first. We were very much
gratified by the results.
"The drat and severest lest was 12
hours’ continuous talking—not all by
one man, of course. The 12 hours' talk
was provided by several men and a
gramophone working in relays.
“The new apparatus is more practi
cal, simpler and less likely to get out
of order than anything we have had
heretofore.
"I think transatlantic telephony will
be done soi}n. I think there is no im
possibility about it. 1 have not tried
transatlantic telephony yet and there
is no foundation for the rumors so far
as this company is concerned. How
ever, 1 expect to try* the experiment of
talking across the Atlantic some of
these days as soon as I think the
science is sufficiently advanced."
Mr. Marconi did nol wish to be pinned
down to any definite period within
which lie would engage to achieve the
feat, hut when six months was sug
gested he said he thought something
like that would he about rigid.
"The commercial possibilities of
transatlantic telephony, 1 think, will
not be nearly so great as those of
tarnsatlantlc wireless telegraphy_at
least not at present. You see, at most
we cannot talk more than 100 words
a minute over the telephone, whereas
we can send 200 words a minute by
wireless telegraph.
"1 suppose we could charge |10 a
minute for talking across the Atlantic_
no doubt many a man would gladly
pay it to speak to his best girl or his
partner—but for most practical pur
poses wireless telegraphy would be
chosen in preference to wireless tele
phony since the maximum speed of the
telephone would be 100 words a minute,
as against 200 by telegraph. You people
of the press would want to get over a
lot of •stuff' to the other side in a hur
ry. You wouldn't telephone it; you'd
T
| IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Front H (lined Penrhen
“The recent frost ruined most of the
peaches in Blount county,” said Joseph
Franklin, a well-known official of the
Lehigh Coal company, who spent yes
terday In Birmingham.
“1 am told that one peach orchard
n an In the county saved his crop by us
ing 500 gallons of kerosene. Oil or tar
smudges are always effective in keeping
off frost, but only orchardists who grow
p< aches on a large scale are prepared
for this sort of emergency work. The
peaches I had on the few' trees on my
place were killed.
“While I am only an amateur farmer,
1 have now a large apple orchard which
will be bearing in two or three years, j
T am expecting to make some money off
of apples.
“Farming in Blount has been very prof
itable. The farms are in good condi
tion, and much corn and cotton will
be produced this year.'*
School Oiiniim I'optilntIon
“Birmingham continues to grow fast. I
believe that the biennial school census to
be taken next July will indicate a total
population of fully 20',000," said a local
statistician.
“Two years ago 43,000 children of school
age were counted, w’hich Indicated some
thing like IW.ooo. There are many evi
dp: ces of a greatly Increased population
now."
(■cueral Trade Fairly Brink
“While one hears of complaint about
business conditions in many sections of
the east, general trade In the west and
south is fairly brisk,” said J. C. Daffron
of Chicago.
“In some parts of the west business is
as active as it was this time last year,
and in most of the southern states it is
better than usual, and that is saying a
good deal. In the north the south's agri
cultural progress is much remarked. The
southern farmers are Tast becoming noted
for their thrift.”
Should He Financial Success
“I feel sure that the festival concerts
to be given at the Bijou under the aus
pices of the music festival board of w hleh
Mrs. Houston Davis is president, will be
successful financially as well as artistlc
ly,” said a club man wrho has taken part
in the management of former festivals,
but who is now simply one of the guaran
tors and a looker on.
“The forthcoming festival will be man
aged by women of civic pride and en
thusiasm. All the festivals held here in
past years have been highly creditable
from a musical point of view, but most
of them incurred small financial losses
just as is often the case in many large
cities.
“One reason why festivals held here in
recent years have not drawn crowded
houses at all of the performances was
the lack of appreciable interest on the
part of educational institutions. The
ladies who have charge this year will
make a strong effort to enlist the prac
tical co-operation of colleges and schools.
There are enough music pupils and school
boys and girls of musical taste to fill a
theatre twice as big as the Bijou. If the
Bijou is crowded at the orchestral mati
nee and crowded again at night when
the oratorio is performed the festival
board will be able to carry over a good
surplus to apply to a mammoth festival
In the projected auditorium in 1915.”
Call for fiood .Music
“In fewr cities that 1 visit do I hear
as good music in the eaTes as Mr. Klenk
gives us at the Florence.” said a man
who spends much of his time in the
north. “For a four-piece orchestra the
music is excellent, Mr. Klenk being him
self a violinist of the symphony orches
tra class. His early experience, I believe,
wa? in the Cincinnati Symphony orches
tva, which has always ranked high.
"What 1 was glad to learn the other
duv from Mr. Klenk was that interest
in good music was increasing. He told
me that while he had requests for some
trivial stuff now’ and then, the great
majority of requests are for music of
artistic merit."
The Iron Market
•There is nothing to brag about in
the current iron trade, although it is true
there has been more doing this week
than last." say Matthew Addy & Co.'s
Cincinnati report. “A railroad that main
tains its own shops has bought upward
of 1500 tons. A similar quantity has been
purchased by a maker of bathtubs and
there has been a fair scattering of small
oiders, mostly carload lots. As com
pared with the deadly dullness of last
week, this is an improvement.
“Little by little things seem to be pick
ing up, but the case is none the less
serious. It is a dreadful thing to con
template a great industry that for some
mysterious cause suddenly is reduced to
a 30 or 10 per cent basis of activity. It
means idle men, a loss of capital possi
bilities, and Its general effect is felt
throughout the whole business world.
| Since the first of March this state of
| affairs has been in evidence, and there
has never been in the history of the
Lade any depression quite so sudden
as this. When January opened everyone
predicted that this was going to be a
good year in the iron trade. It looked
that way for a few weeks and then new
business ceased; things seemed to freeze
up; and the whole trade now is won
dering exactly what caused it and how
long it can last. Of course, the country
needs iron—the world has to go on, and
it is this hope that animates the iron
trade now. In spite of poverty stricken
re II roads and a hostile tariff, there is
still (line for the year as a whole to make
a fair average."
ANIMAL COURTSHIPS
From I/ondon Tit-Bits.
Furpri^ing though the statement may
scom, it is a fact, borne out by the care
ful study of scientists, that practically
every form of marriage contract known
to men, from free love to the soul-mate
theory, can he found in the animal
world. Male animals even have their
bachelor clubs, and that wonderful nat
uralist, Mr. Ernest Thompson Seton, has
i elated how little societies of animals
are established among deer and antelopes.
These societies usually consist of three
or four young bucks, wno range and feed
together in perfect friendship. They are
quite happy, and never quarrel or fight
until some lady intrudes. But once a
doe joins the herd, good-by to peace.
The brothers fight among themselves
while the doe looks on and enjoys the
sport, until one of them drives off the
othera*and goes away with her.
There are four distinct forms of mar
riage among monogamous animals. The
first closely resembles the trial marriage
and is the type represented by the moose.
The male selects a mate and is faithful to
hor so long as she pleases him and when
she no longer charms he promptly di
vorces her and finds another mate.
'i he second type of animal marriage is
that tvhich lasts during the breeding sea
son only. Some animals seek their males
again next season, but among rats, rab
bits and squirrels the separation is per
manent, although among foxes, coyote
ana smaller animals the father, who pre
sumablv hates the worries of domestic
life, usually stays away until the children
have been reared and then returns.
The third type of animal marriage is
that common among wild geese, pigeons
ai«i possibly ow’Is. The union lasts
through life, and if one of the pair dies
the other never seeks a second mate, but
mourns disconsolately until death.
The fourth type of marriage is the near
est approach to the ideal married life,
and. curiously enough, is found most
commonly among wolves. Wolves marry
for life, and only the death of the one
leaves the other free to. marry again.
Furthermore, there is even a genuine dis
play of chivalry and affection between
such animals. It is recorded that two
wolves in the I*ondon zoo were very jeal
ous of each other and frequently quar
reled. One day. during an unusually fu
rb us dispute, the male approached the
f' male furiously as if to bite her, but
.11^.t as he reached her he stopped as if
held back by something within him. The
ft male then approached timidly, licked his
face and domestic happiness was once
more restored.
Marriage, it appears, is almost univer
sal in the animal world. Bachelors and
spinsters are very rare, yet after the
biief period of mourning is over, the be
reaved animal has little difficulty in find
ing a new mate.
Perhaps the most interesting point in
regard to this subject is that animals,
like men, often have proved that monoga
my is the ideal married state. A polyga
mous race Increases faster for a time,
and produces offspring of apparently un
usual intelligence and development, but
it. is a notable fact that deer, which
are most polygamous, are lowest down
in the scale of development, and are
most seriously scourged by epidemic
plagues. The great objection to polygamy
in animals is that only one parent—the
weaker—has the care of the offspring,
ami that at the death of the father se
rious trouble often occurs among the
survivors.
BROWNING OF NEW BEDFORD
From the New York Sun.
In response to tlie modest solicitations
of the Acushnet Hawes society, the South
Yarmouth Felibres and other sodalities of
light, and in compliance with its own
veneration for a beloved and laurelled
name, the Sun offers to public admira
tion perhaps the most original, subtle
and splendid poem of Anaxagoras Clifford
Hawes:
“T would set the World
Free of aught that
Cloys it: quench all the Wrongs like unto
the buried
1 otion to restore—drat
Jt! Make, too, like my tabby
Cat (else more shabby*
“Squat on its Persian rug, slumbering this
minute.
Jt is not wrhat
Y\ e have to ourselves, but that (hath
In it)
Which is given for others that
Absolves; and quits low* plane —
To ne'er come again.
The infinitive splits under that weight
3f thought. Anaxagoras Clifford Hawes
Is not “easy reading." rt is labor to grope
through the labyrinth of that majestic
hiind; but how rich arr the rewards, the
“felicities.’' as Henry James, the well
known German composer, would say.
Symbolic cat, Orphic gmymalkin, recon
dite, involute. hieroglyphic; by thy
“burled potion" of catnip or valerian,
‘ cat with eyne of burning coal." more
than cubist, polyhedral, multilateral, om
nilateral cat. purr forever in our Hawes
lines!
mniLMii ExrKRTS
From the Pittsburg Gazette-Times.
Discussing the modern feminist move
ment. a woman lecturer told a Brooklyn
audience that her sex will not achieve
its full measure of independence until
the rearing of children and all the duties
of the home are placed in the hands of
experts. Not until then will women be
ire-' to go out into the world and dis
charge their responsibilities as leaders in
thought and action, as voters and office
holders.
There are only two sexes, so the "ex
perts” who are to form the home guard
will have to be either mrti or women. If
the men turn in and become cooks and
nursemaids and spring housecleaners, this
means that the women will have to be
the breadwinners. This scarcely could
have been the thought of the Brooklyn
speaker, so she must have meant that
a special class of trained womeu would
be set apart in the golden age to super
vise the home while their more aggres
sive sisters were "out in the world"
making speeches, conducting reforma
tory crusades and setting things gener
ally to rights. These experts, of course,
would not be mere servants, but mana
gers, having the whole burden of house
hold responsibilities upon their shoulders
and leaving their feminine employers en
tirely free for “the higher duties of life."
HAIRPIN DIKT FATAL
From the New York World.
Having swallowed hundreds of hairpins
within the last two years, Mrs. Alice
1-ischoff died Sunday night in Bellevue
hospital. Today an autopsy wil be per
formed so doctors may learn how it was
possible for her to live so long with hair
pins in her stomach.
The woman, who was 43 years old, lived
al 401 Fast 139th street, She was com
mitted to the Mat tea wan Asylum for the
Criminal Insane early in 191*2. At once
she began to swallow every hairpin she
could get. On March 2k that year an op
eration was performed, and many hair
pins were removed from her stomach.
Sixteen days later it became necessary
to perform another operation, and more
hairpins were removed. A third opera
tion, performed in April, brought out more
of the bits of metal.
The following month she was removed
to the Manhattan State hospital, where
sue continued to gulp hairpins. Several
nunths ago it was found they had punc
tured her stomach and liver, and had
affected the action of her neart. Another
operation was performed, and an extra
guard was placed on her to keep her from
swallowing any more pins.
But she got more of her strange food
■ecretly, for several days ago she was
taken ill and the X-»a?s showed many
hnrpins in her stomach. Another opera
tion was imperative. She died from
shock.
NEW HOTEL FOR CILLMAN
From the Cullman Tribune..
The prospects for the erection of a
large new hotel in our city is promising
and it is expected that within the next
few weeks work will begin on a hotel that
will be in keeping with the rapid growth
of our city.
TROUBADOUR AND JESTER I
THE GRAPE JUICE PARTY.
Look out. Mr. Huerta,
That grape juice navy's coming.
Better take your hat off quick.
Or you'll hear something humming.
Look out. Mr. Huerta.
That grape juice is fermenting.
Better make that little bow
Or son you’ll be lamenting.
Look out. Mr. Huerta,
To you that navy's scooting.
We won't recognize you, but
You must do that saluting.
Look out. Mr. Huerta,
Grape juice is effervescent;
If it hits you you’ll forget
That you \Vere ever present.
I-ook out. Mr. Huerta,
That grape juice isn't brandy,
But when it’s with Badger mixed
It may come in right handy.
Look out. Mr. Huerta,
That grape juice may be frothing;
Don’t think all this fuss and fume
Of ours is made for nothing.
Look out, Mr. Huerta,
That navy’s on the water;
Vou may be a little “fly”
But we've got the fly swatter.
MORAL PERSUASION.
Twamly: "How many guns does it take
to make a salute?”
Swamby; “That depends. Twenty-one
is the full complement, but some times
it takes an entire navy.”
.....
WOMAN. GENTLE WOMAN. (
In Skagway’s election
The women have won I J
By giving cigars for the votes. . *
Ah. wlfat an uplift
These suffragists are,
1 hough up into smoke it all floats.
THOSE SALUTES.
I Huerta: "Here’s to you. Uncle Sam.
Donkey, elephant or bull moose."
, l ncle Sam "Same to you, old boy.
Here’s your health in grape juice.”
OPPORTUNE.
Sunrays on a goldfish globe {
Focused on cloth cover
In Washington the other day I
And fire they did discover.
Now we have a lesson learned;
With cooks there’s no more broking.
We’ll buy a globe and focus rays
And let Sol do the cooking. >
A GOOD REASON.
| Silas: "Jones, why have you named ^
| your boy ‘Vinegar’ V'
Jonas: "The more ‘mother’ vinegar has j.
in It, the sharper it Is, and that boy if
just like his mother." j
A GOOD SPELLER. j
Grigsby: "In this Mexican embrogllo j
John Lind is a regular letter G. ’ l
Twlgsby: "How do you make that out.?"
Grigsby: "Both are silent." \
C. F. M. !
GREAT TRIALS OF HISTORY
TRIAL OF JOHN LINDSAY CRAWFORD
WHEN George Lindsay Crawford,
the twenty-second Earl of Craw
ford. died In 1808 he had no chil
dren and his vast estates descended to
his sister. Lady Mary Crawford. But
I the earl had not been long dead before
various claims were advanced to the peer
age, one of them being preferred by a
person of the name of John Crawford,
who came from Dungannon, in the north
of Ireland. This was in January, 1809.
He claimed to be a descendant of the Hon.
James Lindsay Crawford, a younger son
of the family, who had taken refuge in
Ireland from the prosecutions of 1666-1680.
The claimant was clever enough after
arriving at Ayr to not make his mission
known until he had secured a considerable
amount of information respecting the
family history. From Ayr he proceeded
to visit Kilbirnie castle, once the resi
dence of the great knightly family of
Crawford. Here he obtained some valu
able papers which he found in an out
house, included among them letters writ
ten by James Lindsay Crawford, whose
descendant he pretended to be.
John appropriated these papers and pro
duced them when the opportune moment
came. His story and what evidence he
had gathered together made an impres
sion on the people in and about the vil
lage, and through promises of what he
would do when he secured the estates, lie
was able to raise considerable money.
In due time the pretender to the Craw
ford peerage instituted judicial proceed
ings. His advocates brought forward some
very feasible parole evidence; b.ut they
mainly rested their case upon the docu
ments which had been discovered in the
old cabinet at Kilbirnie. These letters,
when originally discovered, had been writ
ten on the first and third pages; but in
the interim the second pages had been
filled up in an exact imitation of the old
hand with matter skilfully contrived to
support the pretensions of the newcomer.
This forgery was discovered and a
charge was brought against the claimant, ]
and he and his chief abettor, James
Bradley, were both brought to trial before
the high court of justiciary in February,
1812, and were sentenced to 14 years trans
portation. The claimant was shipped off
to Botany Bay, and arrived in New South
Wales in 1813. During his residence there
he contrived to ingratiate himself with
MacQuarrie. the governor of the island,
| and was able to have part of his punish
I ment remitted, and he returned to Eng
land in 1820.
John immediately recommended pro
ceedings for the recovery of the Crawford 1
honors, and, as his unexpected return
seemed to imply that he had been unjust
ly transported, his friends took encourage- ;
ment from this circumstance and again
came forward with subscriptions and ad
vances. Many noblemen and gentlemen
believed him to be injured and contributed
liberally to his support, and to the cost
of the proceedings which he had begun. \
At last the case came before the lords
committee of privileges, to which it had
been referred by the King. Lord Broug
ham was counsel in the cause, and he pub
licly expressed his opinion that it was
well founded. Many of the claimant s
adherents, however, were deterred from
proceeding further in the matter by the f
unfavorable report of two trustworthy j!!
commissioners, who had been appointed to '
investigate the affair in Scotland. On >
the other hand, Mr. Nugent Bell, Mr.
William Kaye and Sir Frederick Pollock, I
with a host of eminent legal authorities,
predicted certain success.
Thus supported the pretender assumed !
the role of Earl of Crawford and actually
voted as earl at an election of Scotch peers
at Holyrood. Unfortunately for all par
ties, the claimant died before a decision
could be given, either for or against him.
His son, however, inheriting the father’s *
pretensions, and also apparently his fac
ulty for raising money, contrived to find
supporters and continued the case.
Maintaining his father's truthfulness, he
declared that his ancesor, the Hon. James
Lindsay Crawford, had settled in Ireland,
and that he had died there between 1766 *
and 1770, leaving a family of which he J ^
was the chief representative. On the
other hand, Lord Glasgow, who had sue- ?
ceeded by this time to the estates, in
sisted that the scion of the family who
was supposed to have gone to Ireland, and
from whom the pretender traced his
descent, had in reality died in London in
1745. It was finally proved that a record
of this death remained in London, and
the decision of the House of Lords was
“that from the facts now before us we
are satisfied that any further inquiry is »
hopeless and unnecessary.” »
This opinion was given in 1839 and since
that time no further steps have been #
taken to advance the claim.
IOMORROW—THE DUBOURGE TRIAL 1
PRICES IN SOCIETY
New York Dispatch to the Kansas City
Star.
New York society has become a pay
as-you-enter affair. It’s easy to get in if
you're sufficiently loose with your bank
account. The only objection is that the
exit is precisely opposite the entrance.
The green millionaire he goes right in and
turns around and falls right out again.
“Anyhow,’’ said Mr. Jason Andrews of
a smoky city In the middle west, “that!
was my experience. I am through being j
a social butterfly. From now on I will
j appear only In my w-ell known impersona
! tion of the human crab. I wasn't in so
ciety long enough to get over shaking
hands with the butler.''
Andrews, that isn't his real name,
though the story Is true, was approached
by one of the “social introducers'* who
have recently appeared here, following
the example long ago set by London. It
was explained that he could take hla
choice of four well known members of
New York society as sponsors. They are
regarded by the commonalty as million
aires, but their cash boxes sound like a
baby’s rattle. Anyone interested will
have no difficulty in learning the iden
tity of the quartet.
“A dinner for 25 persons, at which real
leaders of society will be present, will
cost you $50,000, said the agent. “A cam
paign to cover the social season will cost
$.'#>0,000 upward."
Mr. Andrews ordered the dinner at $50,
000, was rehearsed with his hostess, so
that he might appear to be on terms of in
timacy, and went through his part in a
ruddy glow. For a couple of weeks he
was “rushed." Then it appealed that lie
did not propose to pay for a campaign
against the social fortifications, and he
was dtopped so hard that his self esteem
was fractured.
“These prime old vatted millionaires,"
said Mr. Andrews, "are engaged in a re
fined form of the grandest indoor sport—
taking money away from folks who
havc'nt had it long enough to get used to !
it. r can’t holler. I sold a rotary corn
sheller to the steel trust for a rolling
mill.”
SUICIDE FOR *!,•:«
From the New York Times.
A pickpocket in the subway who on
Thursday stole the money which Frieda _
I.ester, n 21-year-old skirt operator, had
scrimped out of her wages to buy Easter
finery, led her to commit suicide last
night. The pirl lived with her brother
Louis, his wife and eight children on 1
the third floor of 77 East One Hundred
ami Fifteenth street, between Fifth and
Madison avenues. She had saved smalt
sums for many months to buy some new
things for Pastel, and on Thursday she ^
started downtown with her little hoard of
$3.23 to make her purchasra
When the girl got out of the subway
train she found that her purse was miss
ing from her handbag. A pickpocket ;
had opened the l'andbag, taken out the
purse and closed it again. The girl had
to walk lack to her home In PParlem.
Downcast, she told her relatives that
she wished to kill herself.
Miss tweeter was more despondent than i
ever yesterday when she saw other girls t
attired In Easter finery, but she made
no more threats of suicide and lulled ths •
sJL'tlcions of her iclatives. After thoy
had gone to bed at 10 o’clock last night ,
she wont to the front window of the fiat,
climbed out on the sill ard throw her- ■
self headfirst V the pace lieui.
Patrolman MeCarvey of the East On«
Hu ,d t-d an 1 Fourth street jvo.b'c g-a
tioo saw her fall. She was d<nd Winn J
hr reached her side. •
LOVE’S IMMORTALITY
By Robert Southey.
THEY sill Who tell us Love can die!
Witn life all other passions fly;
All others are but vanity.
In Heaven ambition rannot dwell.
No avarice In the vaults of hell; !
* They perish where they have their birth; !
But Love is indestructible. ;
Its holy flame forever burneth.
From Heaven it came, to Heaven returneth; ^
For oft on earth a troubled guest, {
At times deceived, at times oppressed, i*
It here Is tried and purified, . *
And hath in Heaven its perfect rest.
It soweth here with toil and care,
But the harvest time of Love Is there.
Oh! when a mother meets on high
The babe she lost in infancy, I;
Hath she not then, for pains and fears.
The day of woe, the anxious night.
For all her sorrow s, all her tears,
An overpayment of delight?