The Birmingham age-herald. [volume], April 23, 1914, Page 4, Image 4

About The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950

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THE AGE-HERALD
=- ■ — i
K. W. B\RTIE1T.Editor j
, Entered at the Birmingham, Ala.,
postoffice as second class matter under
ad of Congress March 3, 1871*.
Daily and Sunday Age Herald—$8.00
Daily and Sunday per month.70
Daily and Sunday, three months .. 2.00
Weekly Age-Herald, per annum.. .60
Sunday Age-Herald . 2.00 ,
A. J. Eaton, Jr., and O. E. Young are
the only authorized traveling repre
sentatives of The Age-Herald in its
circulation department.
No communication will he published
without its author’s name. Rejected
manuscript will not be returned unless
stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
Remittances can he made at current
rate of exchange. The Age-Herald will
not be responsible for money sent
through the mails. Address,
THE AdE-HERAl.l‘.
Birmingham, Ala.
Washington bureau, 207 Hibbs build
ing.
European bureau, R Henrietta street,
C'ovent Garden. 1 .on(1 on.
Eastern business office. Rooms 48 to
50 inclusive. Tribune building;, New
York Citv; Western ousiness office,
Tribune building, Chicago. The S C.
Beckwith Special Agency, agents for
eign advertising
TELEPHONE
Bell (private exchange eonneetlng all
departments). Main 41)4141.
Let confusion of one part confirm
The other's pence* till then, blows,
blood, and death. —King .loha.
BEGINNING THE DAY—Help me,
| O I.ord. to cling lo Ihe confidence
i that Thou lovent me. Whatever Thou
aendesl me. of difficulty or hard
ship or pain, may I find folded and
hidden In It some love message from
God. Sweeten all my da? a with the
reflection that Thou art laboring
with me to make me better. For
Christ's sake. Amen.—II. Yl. E.
I_ _
The Cost of the Conflict
It Is always best to take time by
the forelock and while It is ardently
hoped that the present difficulty with
Mexico will be settled without a pro
longed struggle, the question of the
financial side of the matter has to lie
considered in the event of war.
Our brief brush with Spain cost ns
$425,000,000, but the Dingley tariff was
then in operation and it was an
excellent revenue producer. Congress
took from the revenues derived from
this tariff and the Internal revenue
service the sum of $50,000,000, and
provided for the remainder of the war
expenses by doubling the tax on beer
and tobacco and imposing a tax on
legacies, stamps and cheques.
Up to now the receipts under the
present tariff !a.w have not quite met
expectations. II was thought that the
tariff would produce $267,000,000, the
Internal revenue $322,000,000. sale of
public lands $5,000,000 and miscella
neous receipts $52,000,000, making a
total ot $646,000,000. The expenses of
Ihe government were put at $714,790,
000, not including the postal service,
and this left a deficit of nearly $69,
000,000, which it was estimated would
be covered by the Income tax. placed
at $70,000,000.
It is a foregone conclusion that Ihe
congressional appropriations will ex
ceed the estimates and the income
lax has fallen short of expectations/so
that a deficit is inevitable, even with
out war. Experts declare that a stamp
tax. similar lo the one enacted to help
out in the Spanish war, would yield
$75,000,000; that a double tax on to
bacco and beer would bring in $05,
000,000, and doubling the income lax
would yield $100,000,000. Such taxa
tion would total in revenues a little
more than half of the cost of the
Spanish war.
The present generation lias paid for
tiie building of the Panama canal, as
its expenses were met from ihe or- j
dinary revenues of the government, |
and il would lie asking too much of1
the present generation to place upon
Its shoulders the burden of bearing
likewise the cost of the threatened
war. Posterity should be required t.o
take care of that and Congress should,
and probably will, meet the occasion,
should it arise, by legislation for an
adequate bond i^sue.
British Barmaids
To the average American who has
never traveled abroad the barmaid is,
so to speak, an unknown quantity.
He has read of her, no doubt, in pleas
ing romances of England, Scotland and
Ireland, in which, she is usually de
scribed as a “rosy cheeked lass,” per
haps with a glint of mischief in her
eye and a trim figure.
However, some statistics compiled
by the Woman’s Industrial News show
that the British barmaid does not lead
•n ideal existence by any means and,
worse still, when her “career” is ended
at about 30 years of age she has no
where to go but the streets. There is
no place for her in the economic
scheme of things. There are now 22,
000 women employed in Great Britain
as barmaids. About one-half of them !
are between 18 and 25 years of age.
The barmaid is no longer common in
Ireland or Scotland, although she is
■till deemed indispensable in England.
The barmaid is a working girl of the I
average type, “industrious, honest and
sober.” After a girl has learned the
business her wages range from $3 to
$3.50 a week and her-keep. The ho
tel barmaid is the "aristocrat” among
barmaids, and there is doutbless a per
ceptible tilt of her1 nose when she I
comes into contact with more humble |
members of her class. Her wages,
however, are no higher.
The British barmaid “reaches the
top of her career’’ at 24, enters upon
a decline and is too old for the busi
ness at "0. Unless she has been fortu
nate enough to marry or to inherit
property, her prospects for the future
are, to say the least, discouraging. I
The problem for social workers is to I
find something for her to do when she |
can no longer tend bar. At this dis- |
tance, one doesn’t see why a competent ;
barmaid who is “industrious, honest
and sober," cannot get some other kind
of job if she really wants one. Per
haps, after the somewhat brisk career
of bar tending, more prosaic duties do
not appeal to her. At any rate, “up
lifters” have another problem to con
sider in the person of the British bar
maid and the more problems “uplift
ers” have to wrestle with the better
pleased they are.
Preparations For War
Congress having justified President
Wilson in using the armed forces for
“securing amends for indignities suf
fered by the nation in Mexico,? prep
arations are proceeding rapidly for
war. Mr. Wilson will not call it war,
but war it is. May it be brief and ac
companied with a minimum of blood
shed, is the prayer of all right minded
people.
The occupation of Vera Cruz by
United States marines has naturally
stirred the constitutionalists as well
as the federals. It was thought in
official circles that a brief statement
emanating from Carranza which
reached Washington yesterday after
noon, might indicate an alliance of
the two camps under one banner for
the purpose of fighting this country,
but the text of Carranza's letter
through the state department to the
President which was received in Wash
ington later, put a different phase on
the matter. The head of the consti
tutionalists expresses himself as bit
terly as ever against Huei'ta. Just
what turn matters will take next can
not be foretold at this writing.
Carranza is a politician, and is mak
ing a strong bid for the sympathy of
the nations. He thinks that if the
United States is to invade Mexico he
and not Huerta should be regarded as
the representative of the nation. In
the name of the Mexican people Car
ranza asks the United States to with
draw its armed force from Vera Cruz.
But he cannot expect that to be done.
Arms and ammunition consigned to
Huerta’s de facto government were
about to be unloaded from a German
ship at Vera Cruz. The President did
just the right thing when, acting with
dispatch, he prevented the delivery of
the consignment. It still looks like
war..
If our modernized and larger stand
ing army has cost a good deal of
money it has been money economically
expended, for if war of any magni
tude must come the United States is in
good fighting condition. It was very
different in 1898. The country was
then unprepared for war. Of course,
American arms were victorious over
Spain in a comparatively short time;
but many a soldier-life would have
escaped fatal disease had the same ef
ficiency obtained then as is in evidence
now, to say nothing of the matter of
discipline. It may be that the Mex
ican war will be of short duration, but
Dn the other hand our army may be
in Mexico for a considerable time—
possibly several years.
The great majority of people in this
country have absolute confidence in
the administration's ability to conduct
a successful war, and the public stands
patriotically behind the President.
An Important Husnandry
In the development of Alaska Uncle
Sam is taking a special interest in the
preservation and the increase of the
reindeer of that territory. Repeated
reports to the effect that the reindeer
herds are deteriorating and the ani
mals diminishing in number caused
Ihe government to make a special in- (
vestigation of the condition of the ani
mals and the announcement is now
made that the herds of last year in
creased 2.” per cent with the warranted
anticipation that the increase this
year will be upon a greater ratio.
At the last moment the government
stepped in to preserve the buffalo, but
he reindeer are of far more value both 1
’ommercially and as a domestic asset 1
han ever were the bison of the plains.
Experts are united in the opinion that ‘
from a mere medium of livelihood the f
reindeer will become the means of
prosperity and the source of wealth.
The original stock of these animals ,
was brought from Siberia and the pro
geny have greatly improved in qual- |
ity as Alaska is found to be a much
more favorable habitat for the deer
than was their old domain. The cli
mate is not so vigorous and the pas
turage is more nutritious while the 1
extended ranges for the herds, which ,
average more than 700 animals each, '
render as negligible deterioration by
interbreeding. 1
The government now owns nearly
1000 reindeer, the missions more than }
5000, the Laps nearly 8000 and the
Eskimos and Indians about 31,000.
The industry last year realized about
$70,000 and the value of the animals
is placed at over three-quarters of a
million dollars.
Just as soon as Uncle Sam has suc
ceeded in his object of acclimating the
reindeer he will divest himself of all
ownership in the animals which will
be turned over to the natives. The
distribution will be made by the
United States school teachers and will
be begun just as soon as the natives
show the proper qualification for in
dividual ownership.
Spo-Pe, known as the “Indian Man of
Mystery.” an Inmate of the criminal di
vision of the Government Hospital for
the Insane at Washington, broke a silence
of more than 32 years, which had been
self-imposed. Spo-Pe was arrested for
the murder of a trader at Fort Wayne,
near Detroit, in 1.882. He was adjudged
Insane and sent to the ^Government hos
pital in the same year. Ever since then
lie lias refused to speak, his silence being
accepted by the army medical examiners
is convincing proof of an unsound mind.
Mrs. Malcomb Clark, herself a member
>f a Blackfoot tribe, was a recent vis
tor at the hospital where Spo-Pe is con
fined. Being told that there was an
Indian prisoner there, she asked to see
iim and tried to make him talk. The
silent Spo-Pe made no reply until she
•egan to croon to him in baby talk, called
by the Indians “the language of little
people.” Then the stern warrior's heart
ivas melted and he spoke for the first
;ime since his imprisonment. Spo-Pe is
10 longer believed insane, and the fact
hat Ills crime was committed to avenge
he deatli of his mother may result in his
clease.
The sacking of Kuangehow, in south
eastern Honan, China, is described in a
graphic manner by the Shanghai corre
spondent of the London Times. Kuan*
how had a population of about 100,000,
and consisted of two walled cities on
either side of a river. When “White
Wolfs’’ brigands were reported to be
irawing near the terrified people manned
[he walls, but the crafty chief sent his
followers into tlie town disguised and the
ittaek began simultaneously within and
without the city. Nearly all the defend
ers on the walls were killed. The rob
bers were let into Kuanchow by their
on federates and ran through the streets,
shooting as they advanced. In one day
nnre than 1000 inhabitants were butch
ered, including the magistrate, who was
soaked with kerosene and burned. The
wealthy families Were wiped out of exist
ence and their houses burned. In an ad
loining market town the people dared to
Ire two rusty old canno at the invad
ms. The whole population, men, women
ind children, were killed, with the ex
?eption of two hoys, who escaped and
old the story.
A Philadelphia woman went to her hus- I
land's office and just to show that she
wasn’t in a cheerful mood she thrust her i
Irst through a painting valued at $10,000.
She belongs in England with the mili
:ants.
A man who was college bell ringer at
harvard for 60 years died recently. For
mlf a century he dwelt in an atmosphere
of learning without ever acquiring a
loctor's degree.
Vi Hr is not a man who cares much
ibout having his clothes pressed, but it
loesn’t matter, as the business he is en
gaged in at present is nothing like a dress
jarade.
A celebrated German writer pays a
compliment to America’s rich men. A !
cind word now and then, even from a
foreigner, ought to do them a world of
jood.
Mrs. P. F. Collier s cottage which was
recently burned near New York, cost
160,000. The average suburbanite doesn't
enow anything about a conage like that.
A Russian medical journal says tobacco j
will cure hiccoughs. Tobacco will also,
we believe, kill bedbugs, but the difficul
y lies in making them chew it.
“Many a leading lady has driven a man j
lo drink," says the Washington Herald.
kres. We’ve met him. He's usually man- i
iger of the show.
China is taking very kindly to pea
uiis, and having become a republic, will
10 doubt soon grow quite a crop of pea
lut politicians.
W. K. Vanderbilt has crossed the ocean
without a valet, and can probably speak
n eloquent terms of the hardships he j
?ndured.
Despite feeble protests made here and \
here against the tipping system, waiters \
ontinue to “retire with a competence.” j
Anthony Comstock raided an art store
he other day, capturing the proprietor
lini a girl clerk. Redoubtable man!
if the wives of naval officers disobey
Secretary Daniels’ dry” edict, what is
le going to do about it?
Whenever John L. Sullivan discusses
he drink question he is given a respect
ul hearing. He knows.
People who are discouraged by a bad
dor will never be very successful us
ettlement workers.
NOT SO JOVIAL THEN
-’rum the Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
After all, the train was only 40 min
ites behind time, so the stationmaster
was perfectly justified in feeling pleased
with himself, the railway and the world
n general.
A solitary waiting passenger was mor
ddly weighing himself on an automatic
naehine, and when he stepped off it the
ovial official proceeded to talk to him.
“Wonderful thing, the railway system,
dr!” he chirped. “I do really believe that
■ven the general public is at last begin
ling to realise the marvelous improve
nents that have taken place on this line
n recent years!”
“That's true." answered the morbid o. e
*1 know of no line that has so many
hlngs constantly in the public eyes a»
his one."
The stutioumasier was delighted. “I urn
note than glad to hear you say that, sir,”
ie chuckled, rubbing his hands together.
‘And would you mind naming them?”
The waiting passenger looked pensively
lown the platform.
“Cinders!” said hm.
\
I IN HOTEL LOBBIES
\ Fine Fortran
"Mis* Edna Smith, who ranks hs an
excellent portrait painter, has recently
finished a portrait of Dr. Eugene A.
Smith, Alabama's famous geologist, ’
I said a lover of art, and a friend of Dr.
Smith. "Tt is a strange likeness and
the flesh tints have been admirably i
| handled .The portrait goes to the de
partment of archives and history at
Montgomery.’’
Think* It Wonderful (ity
"Birmingham is a wonderful city, in
deed," said R. \V. Walshe of New Or
leans, who represents a prominent pub
lishing house of New York.
"I scureely recognized Birmingham ns
the same city that 1 saw nine years ago.
which was about the time of my first
visit. 1 was born and reared in Dublin
and have traveled the world over, and few
cities with which 1 am familiar are so
attractive as Birmingham.
"I have been here a week now, and I
have had great success in selling the
work for which 1 am soliciting. Dike all
high class publications it costs money,
but I find people here eager to buy the
best."
A pitrcclHtlon of Yliiftic Fe*t|\nl
"There is nothing that is more educa
tional in its nature," said II. C. Maynard,
vice president of the Sherwood Music
school, "than bringing the large orches
tras to a community so that the students
of music may have the opportunity of
hearing them.
"I am glad to see that those in charge
of the coming music festival are enlist
ing the attention of the students of the
various schools as well as the teachers.
It is a move in the right direction, and
one that is calculated to do a great deal
of good. The large orchestras present tlie
best music in the most finished manner,
and tlie student derives no end of benefit
from hearing them. The Sherwood
Music school is heartily in sympathy with
the May festival movement, and will co
operate in every way with tlie manage
ment to make it a success. I hope that
not a single pupil of the school will miss
the chance to hear the St. Ixniis orches
tra under Mr. Zach. It is one of the
finest of tlie large orchestras and the
conductor i* one of ihe most finished
in the country."
The ( lilted Staten Army
"Tlie regular army is in a higher
state of efficiency today, perhaps, than
at any time in its history," said an
old citizen who has long , been in touch
with military affair*.
The unpreparedness of this country
in so fnr as its military forces were
concerned when the Spanish-American
war started was very generally re
marked. \1 e learned a lesson from
that experience which has been to our
decided benefit. Much has been done
for sanitary betterment, and If we
have an army of occupation in Mex
ico for any length of time the death
rate from disease will be small. Dur
ing tlie past 10 years the enlisted men
of the army have been selected with
great care, and it is safe to say that
in point of personnel our regulars are
unequalled either in character or in
telligence by those in European na
tions.
"Major General Leonard Wood, who
has been chief of staff four years, goes
back to division command, being suc
ceeded ns chief by Brigadier Genera!
W. W. Wotherspoon, who had been
General Wood’s assistant. There was
a good deal of criticism of President
Roosevelt for advancing General Wood
as rapidly as he did. and jumping him
over the heads of old West Pointers,
but he has proved to be a very able
man. lie won Ills spurs as a fight
ing man in Cuba. Up to tile time of
the Spanlsh-Ainerican war he had been
in the medical corps. He entered tlie
army from Massachusetts with the
commission of assistant surgeon in
1886. Although he has served as chief
of staff, he is still nearly 10 years un
der tlie retirement age.
"General Wotherspoon was born in
Washington. 1>. (\, and was appointed
second lieutenant of infantry from
civil life in 1873. It seems somewhat
remarkable that notwithstanding the
large number of officers of tlie army
who have graduated from West Point,
the retiring chief and the new chief
of staff were both without early mili
tary training.'
Talk* About White .Sulphur
Albert D. Cushing, assistant man
ager of the White hotel at White Sul
phur Springs, W. Ta., Is in Birmingham
He said yesterday that he noticed
marked improvement in tlie city since
Ids first visit about a year ago.
"Birmingham makes a fine impres
sion on a stranger." said Mr. Cushing.
It is going ahead at a rapid rate, and
it unquestionably has a great future.
"White Sulphur Springs is one of
the oldest and most famous resort
places in tlie United States. It had a
wide reputation in ante-bellum days,
when the rich planters and business
men and statesmen from all sections of
tlie south came there with their famil
ies for tlie summer. it has changed
hands several times, but It was always
a fashionable resort; and for several
years past the flower of northern,
western and southern society lias been
fully represented there. In former
years the White was kept open only
during the summer season, but now il
is open all the year ’round. We had
a large crowd last year, and there are
hundred* of guest* there now."
THE HIMOROI M RIDE OF AVAR
Hamilton Fyfe in the London Times.
In Vera Cruz as well as in the capi
tal tlie press gang had been busy, seiz
ing men off the streets to be soldiers,
so that tlie army might be brought up
to something like its nominal strength.
It !« because he Is obliged to resort to
such a method of recruiting that Gen
eral Huerta has failed to make his po
sition good. He showed his unfitness
to govern by not realizing that he
could do nothing without a real army.
It would have paid him to let the revo
lutionists alone for six months while
he trained a certain number of troops
with the help of American or European
instructors and sergeants. Then he
could have wiped out the rebel forces
In one or two engagements, and the
rest would have melted away. Let me
give an example of what happens now.
On a Sunday at the beginning of
November—to be accurate, the second
of the month—I was watching General
Velasco's brigade entrain at Saltillo for
Torreon. I asked the general if he
meant to start that day. No, not that
day. Very shortly. PerTtaps tomorrow.
It made no difference that the troops
were in their cars affO vans. They are
accustomed to live in trains. Their
wives are taken along, too, to act as
Rrmy service corps. They would never
i be in any hurry to start. TfTey enjoy
[th© lazy side of soldiering, but they
dislike fighting as much as they dis
like work.
Torreon. the prosperous center of the
cotton growing district, was taken by
the revolutionists in September. Aftsr
denying for a week that it had fallen,
the war office admitted the truth, but
said that it would be retaken in a few
days. For a month or so nothing hap
pened. Then it was announced that "a
blow would be struck.” General Ve
lasco would start at one© and the reb
els would be driven out of Torreon.
The government had been urged to act
vigorously, because in the cotton dis
trict a record crop was in need of
being picked. They responded by put
ting a new tax on cotton “to meet the
cost of warlike operations.” and by
doing—nothing.
For six weeks after I saw General
Velasco's brigade in Its five trains,
Torreon remained in the hands of the
rebels. Tiie forces which were to re
take it advanced and retreated, march
ed this way and marched that. Gen
eral Velasco was frequently reported
to be. not with his command, but In
Saltillo. Not until December 10 was
Torreon retaken, and then only be
cause the rebels had drawn off and
left the garrison very weak.
I have mentioned before the absence
of any fire discipline. Large numbers
of men do not even raise their rifles
to the shoulder. They fire from the
hip—into the air. They scarcely ever
charge. They are never put through
tactical exercises. Some of the regi
ments which are kept in the capital,
such as th© Twenty*ninth, upon which
the government confidently leans, have,
a few commissioned officers who un
derstand their duties. Among the com
pany officers there are some who
know that everything is wrong. They
do their best with their own men. but
what are they among so many who
neither know nor care?
The Mexican idea of making a sol
dier is to cram him into a uniform,
give him a rifle and let him fight
as best ho can. Even if the men were
willing to serve, this plan would be
disastrous, seeing that most of them
are Indians from the fields, very low
In the intellectual scale. But when w»
consider that soldiering is looked
down upon as disgraceful, that the
federal ranks are recruited by the press
gang, and that many criminals are
turned out of prison into the army, we
see at once what a tragic farce the
civil war in Mexico is.
The Mexican army has no army serv
ice corps, no medical department to
speak of. It carries no camp equip
ment, no supplies. Watch a field force
break camp at dawn. First there go
pattering off a horde of women laden
with pots and pans, blankets, some
times babies. These are the solda
deras, the camp followers, the com
missariat of the force. That they
move as quickly as they do is a mi
racle. Whatever the day's march may
be. they are always on th© camping
grounds before the men arrive. They
rig up shelters, they cook tortillas and
frljoles, they make coffee. You see
them mending their husbands’ coats
washing their shirts, roughly tending
flesh wounds. Without these soldade
ras tlie army could not move. WTiile
President Huerta was seizing hundreds
of men by night in the City of Mexico
and other cities in order to swell his
forces to 100,000. lie also had women ^
“pressed” to go with the new soldiers
and take care of them. Criadas (maid
servants) were positively afraid to go
out after dark.
“GATH IK DBAU“
From the Dayton Journal.
‘‘Gath" Is dead. Do you remember
“Gath?" For many years the New York
papers and the Enquirer, particularly,
published his observations on men ami
things. He was a real newspaper man.
His sentences scintillated. His style was
perfect. His word pictures were marvels
of luminosity. His learning was great.
His energies were as those of a dynamo.
His charm was Irresistible.
But “Gath" is dead. The veteran has
answered to the call of the great editor.
His work here is done. Time was when
his peh was powerful to command, to In
fluence, to move the hearts of multitudes,
He would dig from the wisdom of the
past to illustrate the present. He was so
versatile that he challenged the admira
tion and the wonder of those who knew
hint best. His mind was a storehouse of
ready information; Ids observation keen,
analytical; Ids judgment sound.
But “Gath" is dead.
George Alfred Townsend ("Gath") was
widely known as Journalist and author for
years, but the now day and the inevitable
weight of years crowded him from tho
stage. He died the other day at the age
of 73. too young for such a man to lent e
the stage; hut perhaps lie could not bear
the accumulated burdens of the years.
Who now remembers ids "Katy of » at
octin?" it was a tine book. He wrote
others—books and essays and current
comment. How much of it will live? Not
much. He gave the best of himself u
the papers lie served, to the discussion of
the burning, passing, ephemeral questions
of the day and the hour.
Always there Is something pathetic in
the passing of such characters. Kate
Field left us nothing really permanent
and worth while, and yet she was the
brightest q^miun of her day.
Tlie old uctor totters to the footligh'3
for ids final bow; he moves toward the
wings of the stag* with reluctant feet and
slow: he is oppressed by memories, and
by the torture of desires impossible of ful
flllmeht; he turns for a moment, with the
ghost of a smile; and then the curt tin
fails.
"Gath" Is dead.
—-♦--——
LI KB M'U KH KAYK
From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
When a woman is in doubt whether to
do sonic housecleaning or attend a bar
gain sale, she never makes up her mind
which to do until after she has boarded
a street car.
Some people hate to take advice even
when they pay for it.
The old-fashioned man who used to stay j
home at night and read books now has i
a son w-ho stays down town at night and j
reads programmes and menu cards.
Importunity is always knocking at your
door, but Opportunity is mighty bashful. j
The reason why a man gets so sleepy in
church Is because he can be so wide
awake at a fatted calf display In a the
atre.
It takes a woman who hasn’t any to
know HI about raising children.
Fast friends will always make a man
slow up. _ I
A man can always see a thing from a
different point of view after his v/lfo
makes up her mind.
The Reformers say a lot of -can things
about booae. But the worst thing we can
say about it Is that it makes men Imighte
they can Bing. ^
The man who wears s celluloid collar
may be a good oltisen, but he always
smells as though he had spent the night
in a bag of moth balls.
TROUBADOUR AND JESTER
HUERTA'S ENGLISH LESSON.
VV hen Woodrow Wilson says tut,tut.
They say he shows his spleen;
But I can’t understand the words;
1 wonder what they mean.
Perhaps they are the English for
That tarnel word salute;
It may be I have guessed it right.
For that word rhymes with toot.
Or maybe those words signify
Ills court Jester's grape juice,
Though in his ultimatums I
Found nothing so abstruse.
Again, perhaps the gentle voice
Of dove of peace they mean.
C'Tis very difficult for me
To read the lines between.1
But I won't bother to translate,
I'll throw tut tut away.
And amble to the city park
To hear my sweet band play.
L'Envoie.
Wake up. old man, for very soon
Their meaning you will know;
Tut. tut, will he the cannons’ voice
Down Rt old Tampico.
RICH RAKEOFF.
Bilby: "Hello; here's a millionaire’ll
daughter eloped with a gardener.''
Hllby: "The more of a lake a man is
the better Is his luck."
...
DEATH LOVES
First South Carolinian: “In this war
with Mexico we must win. God always *
directs the bullets."
Second South Carolinian: “cKi, that’
Blease would volunteer!”
NO HUNGER STRIKE.
Silas: “I see that five million lady bugs
are to be put to eating crop parasites in
California.”
Jonas: “Well, that's better than slash- *
ing pictures and smashing windows; but
I didn’t dream there was that many » f
them.”
DISCRIMINATING.
Woodrow; “Victorian*, the clock lias
already Btruck 8."
Vlctoriano: “Yes. Woodrow, but you
didn’t say whether you meant eastern
or Mexican time,"
SURE SIGN.
The fact that spring now has arri/*d, | ;
At last I truly know: || »
For Oklahoma has been swept ■■
By a fierce tornado.
THE REAR GUARD.
If in this war upon Huerta
Alone we make advance,
I'm sure we'll find the “seat of war”
A patch on Huerta’s pants.
C. F. M.
GREAT TRIALS OF HISTORY
TRIAL OF LORI) COCHRANE ^
Wxi E A Lord Ellenborougli was enier
justice of England, one of the
most trying cases over which he
had to preside was that of Lord Coch
rane, who later became the Earl of Dun
floiiald, and the doggedly manner irt which
he pushed this case drew upon him a
considerable degree of public obloquy, and
caused very uneasy reflections in his
mind which it is supposed hastened his
death.
Lord Cochrane was one of the most gal
lant oficers in the English navy, and
had gained the most brilliant reputation
In a succession of engagements against
the French. Unfortunately, for him, he
likewise wished to distinguish himself in
politics, and, taking the radical line, he
was returned to Parliament for the city
af Westminster. He was a determined op
ponent of Lord Liverpool’s administra
tion, and at popular meetings was in the
habit of delivering harangues Of rather
a seditious aspect, which induced Lord
Ellenborough to believe that he seriously
meant to abet rebellion, and that he
was a dangerous character.
But the gallant Cochrane really was
a loyal subject, as well as enthusias
tically zealous for the glory of Ills coun
try. He had an uncle named Cochrane,
a merchant and a very unprincipled man,
who, toward the end of the war, in con- j
•ert with De Berenger, a foreigner, wick
edly devised a scheme by which they
were to make an immense fortune by a i
speculation on the stock exchango For
this purpose they were to cause a sudden
rise in the funds, by spreading false in
telligence that a preliminary treaty of j
peace had actually been signed between
England and France.
Everything succeeded to their wishes;
the intelligent e was believed, the funds
rose, and they sold on time bargains I
many hundred thousand pounds of 3 per
rents before the truth was discovered,
it so happened that Lord Cochrane was
then in London, was living at his uncle's
house, and was much in his company,
hut there Is now good reason to believe
that he was not in the least implicated
In the nefarious scheme. However, when
the fraud was detected—partly from be
lief of his complicity, and partly from po
litical spite, he was included ip the in
TOMORROW—'['RIAL OF MAXIMILLIAN
A MONEY SAVING PRIMER and early summer are delightful. The *
From the Chicago News. movement for “more daylight” is a proof
Occasionally a bank managed by men of that t,ie blessings of long days are appre
ciated.
•nterprise puts out a booklet of very ,
( leveland s crusade for a change of
treat interest to people who don’t know timp waa an|mated 1>y almliar motives,
the technique of banking. I wish that The method of reform was. however,
more of them would do it! much simpler. It is doubtful if Cleveland
One of these booklets explaining the or an^ other American city would eoji
...... . sent to a semi-annual change of time. The
simplest facts about making money and , ,
v change must be made definite and un
:hen making money earn more money lias j3ro]<en i
ibis catechism: j jt jg not clear that the reversion to
"How do people make money? Through j later hours during the winter is desir- *
heir labor and the products of labor. oble. The 00-minute difference would
“How do people save money? By spend- work no ha,dBhlP <p anyone. There Is ,
, .. not enough daylight in an English win
Ing less than they earn. 4 . ...
ter to make the saving of it a matter of
What is the secret of money making/] mUch moment, but a backward shift v
I'he real secret is the saving of money, j from the established time of summer
for saving money is the first step toward | would be a mere annoyance without any
naking money. compensating benefit. The daylight en
*AVIiat is essential to saving money? thusiasts might stand a better chance
Making a start, no matter how small, of success were they to demand an ai
12very penny saved helps to save an- bitrary and final change rather than un
filler. adjustable arrangement.
“Is it the duty of every one to save -—»•«
money? Yes. By doing this one need TIPS FROM TEXAS
never be dependent upon others for food From the Dallas News.
•r clothing and in time of sickness saved Probably it is better to be known as
money will he a great comfort. a quWter than to never know when to
“Why should children save money? Be
cause it teaches them the value of money; * l up‘
ts care and uses. Our idea of a busybody is a person
“Why should parents save? In addition who convinces us that we are mistaken
o always having ready money for omor- about something.
fencies. by tlvis means the children may As a general thing, a girl never needs
Lie educated or later started in busi- lL mother so much as when she gets
less. an Idea that she has a perfect figure.
“What is the lesson for all? To save Another good thing about a bridal veil
for the benefit the habit brings; to save is that when the bride promises to love,
for tlie children; for business propriety; honor and obey she can wink her left
for old age; for individual comfort, and eye without getting caught at it.
for the happiness of dependent ones.” Personally we are very tender-hearted i
At bottom nothing is more simple than and humane, but if Dame Fortune ever
making money, saving it and making the falls into our hands we are going to en
mvings increase. As the average man slave her.
ind woman bears them discussed, how- J — ■— -
SVer. these topics are buried in a be- IN A FUJI*
tvildering tangle of strange words and By Clanton Beollard.
terms. So I welcome every primer talk APril oer the land' and the loosened *
waters
>„ money end saving T come across’ uitlng, Wughing. under the buoyant
ADJUSTABLE DAYLIGHT | Mlrthtft'rtlH when softly the violet twl
From the Clevalnd Plain Dealer. light
The “saving daylight” movement has sl,adows the hH1 cre8t*!
ittalned such strength in England that April o’er the land, and the robin's music
he principle is soon to be embodied in a Welling, flutelike, out of the maple bough
, tOp8,
mrliamentary measure. Polls of Parlia- while the bluebird, gay with its wings
ment taken by advocates of the change of axure,
. . . - . . „ .. Quavers in answer!
ndicate at least a fair chance of its en
ictment as law. April o'er the land, and the gold of cow
The proposition is that on the third Sun- sl.ip* . . . . . . a ,4
Gleaming, glowing, bright in the greening** *
lay of April of each year British stand- marshes.
ird time shall be advanced one hour, and And the fragile pink of the shy spring
bat on the third Sunday of .September it beauty
->e moved back one hour. The object is DimPllfl* the wood slopes!
° *aln an "ddltlonal SO minutes of day- Aprll 0>r tht Iand and the hcart awak_
Ight during the lummer months. ened.
At worst, Great Britain, because of ly- Stirred again with all of the olden rap
ng much further north, haa longer gum- ture.
ner days than the cities of the United Thrn^of^](ty. and worshipping at tha
States. The evenings of the late spring Beauty Immortal!
uM-ciiifni prcierreu ior me conspiracy
defraud the stock exchange.
The trial coming on before Lord
Ellen borough, the noble and learned
judge, who was himself persuaded of the
guilt of all the defendants, used his best
endeavors that they should all be con
victed. He* refused to adjourn the trial 4
at tlie close of the prosecutor's case,
about 0 in the evening, when the trial
had lasted 12 hours, and the jury as well a
as the defendant’s counsel, were all com
pletely exhausted, and all prayed for an
adjournment.
The following day, In summing up, *
prompted no doubt by the conclusion of
his own mind, ho laid special emphasis
on every circumstance which might raise
a suspicion against Lord Cochrane, and
elaborately explained away whatever, at
first sight, appeared favorable to the
gallant officer. In consequence the jury
found a verdict of guilty against all tlie
defendants.
The following term Lord Cochrane pre
sented himself in court to move for a *
new trial, but the other defendants con
victed along with him did not attend. He
said truly that he had no power or in
fluence to obtain their attendance, and
urged that .hfs application was founded
on circumstances peculiar to his own
case. But Lord EllenboroUgh would not
hear him, because the other defendants
were not present.
Lord Cochrane was thus deprived of all
oportunlty of showing that the verdict <
against him was wrong, and, in addition
to fine and imprisonment, he was sen
tenced to stand in the pillory. Although,
as yet, he was generally believed to be
guilty, the award of this degrading and
infamous punishment upon a . young
nobleman, a member of the House of t
Commons, and a distinguished navltl of
ficer, raised universal sympathy in his
favor.
Lord Cochrane w*as expelled from the
House of Commons, but be was immedi
ately re-elected for Westminster. Hav
ing escaped from the prison in which
he was confined, he appeared in the
House. The part of his sentence by which
lie was to stand in the pillory was re
mitted by the crown, and a bill was in
troduced into Parliament altogether to
abolish the pillory as a punishment, on
account of the manner in which the power
of inflicting it had been recently abused. *