Newspaper Page Text
k. tt. HAHKKTT.. EUltoi Entered at the Birmingham, Ala. postoffice as second class matter undei act of Congress March 3, 1879. “ Daily and Sunday Age Herald—JS.O> Daily and Sunday per month .... .71 ; Daily and Sunday, three months .. 2.0fl Weekly Age-Herald, per annum.. .6‘J *. Sunday Age-Herald ... 2.0U A. J. Eaton, Jr., and O. E. Young are the only authorized traveling repre sentatives of The Age-Herald in Us circulation department. No communication will be published without its authors name. Rejected manuscript will not bo returned unless stamps are enclosed for that purpose. Remittances can be made at current rate of exchange. The Age-Herald will not be responsible for money sent through the mails. Address, THE AGE-HERALD. Birmingham, Ala. Washington bureau. 207 llibbs build ing. European bureau. 6 Henrietta street. Covent Garden. London. Eastern business office. Rooms 4S to 60, inclusive. Tribune building, New York City; Western ousiness office, Tribune building, Chicago. The S. C. Beckwith Special Agency, agents for eign advertising. TELEPHONE Bell (private cichanur connecting all departments), 3I«ln 4900. New honor* come upon him. —-Macbeth* BEGINNING THE DAY—Lord, If I have wronged any man, or (aken ought from any, or enuaed any aoul to suffer through fault of mine, show me my aln and turn me bark again that I may pay my Just debt* and he at peace with God and men. And If any man lias wronged me, help me to forgive. In Christ's name. Amen.—H. 31. E. \ Heroes Rewarded At tl^e spring meeting of the Car negie Hero Fund commission, held in Pittsburg, May 1, twenty-three acts of heroism were recognized. Nine sil ver medals and Twenty-three bronze medals were awarded. Massachusetts, Missouri and Pennsylvania make a fine showing, each state having five heroes. Kansas has three, Kentucky two, New York two, Illinois two, Okla homa two, Oregon one, Michigan two, Indiana one, New Jersey one and Minnesota one. Both of the Michigan heroes are Indians. Of the thirty-two heroes ten were 18 years old and under that age when they performed deeds of heroism. One was 12 years old, two 13, one 14, one 15 and one 18. Two of the youthful recipients of medals were girls. The Carnegie Hero Fund is to be sure a unique and worthy form of philanthrophy, one that will always be interesting and instructive, but its inadequacy is apparent every time an award of medals is made. Although the agents of the commission are most thorough in their investigations and it would be a difficult matter in deed for a “fake hero” to get a medal, still the number of unsung and un decorated heroes must be so far in excess of those officially recognized that the commission merely scrapes the surface of heroism, so to speak, re warding here and there brave acts of a spectacular sort, while hundreds of deeds that require even greater bravery go unnoticed. It has been said that a brave act performed in a moment of excitement and peril does not require as much courage as one that is premeditated. A man will leap into a river and save the life of a drowning person who probably wouldn’t be willing to risk a transfusion of blood to save the life of a fellow being. That is human na ture and is really no discredit to man kind. But pinning medals on "official ly recognized heroes” while so many brave-hearted men and women are fighting day after day to overcome tremendous obstacles, sacrificing themselves for others and playing heroic^parts as a mere matter of course in a humdrum round of exist ence has, to say the least, a grimly humorous aspect. Why, the man who supports a wife and seven children on S salary of $12 a week is a hero, yet, whoever heard of a medal being pinned on his breast? The Marine and the Sailor Some little confusion exists in the public mind as to the status of a sailor and a marine and the question is fre quently asked if the former ever do any fighting in the event of war. The marine is in reality a soldier and not a sailor. He represents the in fantry at sea and he goes upon the ship because there is no other manner in which he can find transportation when his services may be needed in a foreign country. He carries a rifle, is drilled in the maneuvers of the in fantry and the handling of portable arms. It is the marine that is landed upon a hostile shore and he is brought into service where the sailor would be next to useless. On the other hand the sailor is the man behind the gun and he is likewise a trained fighter. In some respects it is a misnomer to speak of him as a sailor, for his real title is a gunner, la time of action his work is often more effective and his services more £ of a necessity than are those of the marine. It is he who shells the towns, - dties and ports it is he who meets the war craft of the enemy and en | deavors to silence their guns am ! negative their devastation. He mus j be a good marksman, and while hi | does not carry a rifle, he manipulate! far more heavy and more deadlj weapons. It is true that the sailor als< keeps the ship clean and has a greai amount of scrubbing and washing down decks to do, but this is his pas time between engagements and he is proud of his familiarity with big guns j his dexterity in handling them and the heroic responsibilities of his position, A great spirit of rivalry exists among the marines and the sailors, j but it is not enmity. Both are fighting men, both are brave and both are nec essary. Both are willing to die for the flag and both are deserving of the nation’s unstinted reliance, praise and honor. Mr. Harding Honored President Wilson’s selection of W. P. Q, Harding, president of the First National bank of Birmingham, to be a member of the federal reserve board is not only a distinct honor to an individual, but one that reflects honor upon this entire community. No national legislation has ever had such important bearing on the fi nancial world or upon large com mercial and agricultural interests as the banking and currency measure which was enacted into law a few months ago. The reserve board will have large powers, and the new law can be made most helpful to every business center in the United States if it is ably administered. Under the law there can be no more bankers’ panics, while there are provisions in the measure that can be employed to bring about manifold improve ments in our currency system. It was a matter of greatest concern, therefore, that able and disinterested men should be selected for the board. Secretary of the Treasury W. G. McAdoo and Comptroller of the Cur rency John Skelton Williams are ex officio members and the other five are especially strong men. The President selected Richard Olney for the governorship of the board. Paul M. Warburg, a mem ber of the banking firm of Kuhn, Loeb & Co. of New York, who is to be on the board has been very close to the administration, and was known to have been most helpful in suggestion when the bill was approaching its final stages. Harry A. Wheeler as vice president of the Union Trust company of Chicago and president of the Na tional Association of Commerce, whose name had been for sometime on the presidential slate for the federal reserve board, will be recognized as a man of wide banking experience. And Adolph C. Miller of California while not a banker, is an economist of notable achievements and uncom mon force of character. Thus it is seen that the federal reserve board as announced from the White House yesterday is in its personnel all that the country could ask. As highly qualified as the other gentlemen selected are known to be, Mr. Harding will measure up to the best of them, both in his broad aspect of business life and in his ready re sourcefulness. Not having been offi cially notified of his selection, Mr. Harding would not intimate last night whether or not be would accept. • If Mr. Harding accepts he will not only have to sever his official connection with the bank, but in compliance with the law, will have to sell every share of his stock. As president o#the First National bank, Mr. Harding has greatly aided varied business interests. He has been one of the most progressive of Birmingham’s upbuilders; but should he decide to go on the federal reserve board he would become at once a con spicuous national figure and would wield great power in the conserva tion and developin 'nt of the nation’s financial resources. It may be assumed that the direc tors and stockholders of the First Na tional will be loath to let him go if he elects to accept the President’s appointment; but no matter what be the outcome the people of the Bir mingham district and of the whole state of Alabama cannot fail to ap preciate the honor that has been done Mr. Harding and tender him their cordial congratulations. Remarkable Urban Growth The growth of cities in the United States is one of the most remarkable and interesting phases of American history. The census bureau estimates the population of this country at the present time to be within a fraction of one hundred million souls, and while the estimates may probably be out of the way in the matter of a couple of millions, for all practical pur poses it may be accepted as correct. Among the list there are sixty cities having a population of over one hundred thousand and of these ten arc in the south. They are Birmingham, Atlanta, New Orleans, Baltimore, Memphis, Nashville, Dallas, Louis ville, Richmond and San Antonio. New York city is accredited with a population of five and one-third mil lion, which is twice the number of the inhabitants of the thirteen colonies ir 1776, and the population of New York i state is greater by nearly half a mil lion than the population of the entire ' i United States in 1820, the year of the j Missouri compromise. Of the southern cities in the roster the growth of Birmingham has been the most phenomenal. Less than half a century ago the town had not come into existence and the site of its loca ! tion was a swamp of frogs and snakes. Today there is not to be found a more handsome civic center throughout the entire south. 4 But in I addition to its urban beauty there is no locality in the union where a greater spirit of progfessiveness, en ergy and optimism exists and as suredly no city in the land has bright er prospects or a more glorious future beckoning it onward and upward than this queen of the south, our own Bir mingham. Herman Frasch, 62 years old. a chemist who made millions for the Standard Oil company and himself, died recently in Paris. He formerly lived in New York. He was the son of the burgomaster of a small town near Stuttgart. He left the gymnasium at Halie when 16 years old and became a druggist’s apprentice, com ing to America in 1868 to begin a career that brought him fame and fortune. His first invention that was profitable was a new process of refining paraffin, which he sold to the Cleveland Petroleum com pany, a branch of the Standard Oil com pany. Later he entered the company's employ. Frasch then began a series of in ventions and improvements in chemical science that continued for many years. He originated a plan for the manufacture of waxed paper, invented an oil lamp that is sold throughout the world, discovered a w'Vv to make white lead directly from ore, patented five ways of manufacturing salt, studied electricity and devised a process for making thermal electric generators and a wp.y to produce carbon in electric lights. Another important discovery Frasch made was a method for taking the odor out of Ontario's oil, w-hich up to that time -had been considered the poorest grade of oil. Frasch's discovery made this oil valuable and resulted in his being ap- ( pointed chief chemist of the Standard Oil company, «a position he held for 2o years. His salary was said to have been the highest ever paid to a man of his profes sion. Dr. John B. Blake, In an address at the Harvard Medical school, discouraged the too free use of antiseptics in dressing minor injuries. He said that most wounds can be cleansed thoroughly with hot water and gauze and only when a wound is grimy is there any necessity for scrub bing it out with iodine. Carbolized salves have been known to cause gangrene, ho declared, and most disinfectants injure the tissues. He said that an antiseptic that w'ould kill the disease germ and not destroy the cell has not yet been discov ered, a fact that is not generally known. Cleanliness, protection and rest are the three fundamental considerations In the treatment of wounds. Dr. Blake in dorsed the use of baking powder in dress ing burns and scalds. The Confederate veterans are now marching on to Jacksonville, and this time next year they will he headed for old Richmond. It is understood that the reunion of 1915, wrhieh will mark the fiftieth anniversary of the surrender at Appomattox, will be held In the Old Do minion’s capital. “Lie” and “insult” were ominous words used by a Chicago sufTragist leader wrho had a little difference of opinion with some other suffragist leaders. Every time j suffragettes fall out among themselves * there is a hoarse chuckle from the throats of anti-feminists. The boys’ corn clubs last year did1 much to stir up emulation among the farmers of Alabama, and they will do even more this year. They are lying low now, hut when harvest time comes there will be many prize winners. Mr. Taft has rheumatism in his foot and Colonel Roosevelt is suffering from boils. Mr. Taft, of course, takes his suf fering calmly, but the thought of a "human dynamo” afflicted with boils is one to give us pause. A final Investigation of the patients treated by Dr. Friedman in New York show's that turtle serum as a cure for consumption is all it wasn’t cracked up to be. Yes, the gubernatorial race seems close at this writing. The supporters of Co mer and the supporters of Henderson are putting in their bb*t licks this week. Senator Miles Poindexter says he be lieves Dr. Cook discovered the north pole. Maybe he also believes there is a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. Most of Miss Eleanor Wilson's wedding gifts will be in the form of jewelry. Gen tlemen burglars are doubtless cognizant of the fact. Late reports*from London show that the aim of suffragettes who throw petitions, bricks, bombs and other trifles is no bet ter than It ever was. A Bavarian wfon a beer drinking con test by consuming 53 pints in three hours, and beer over there is a heady stuff. An operation performed on a Missouri boy to cure his criminal tendencies was a great success. The boy died. The "Paris Number” of Judge was as naughty as anyone could reasonably ex pect a Paris number to he. POlVrED PARAGRAPHS From the Chicago Ncwfs. It takes a sensible woman to generate silence. A man may marry for money and wom an for alimony. And even a very tall man may not be above criticism. One way to dodge a breach of promise suit is to buy a wedding ring, , It is easier to hear a lot than id is to raise the money to pay for one. A .:.L IN HOTEL LOBBIES Optimism In the South "There Is a great difference between the I east and the south as regards business conditions," said W. J. Seifert of New York. "In my part of the country one hears a great deal about hard times, hut it is just the reverse in most qf the southern states with which I am in touch. There is far more optimism in the agricultural territory of the south today than I have ever known before. The large crops of last year will be duplicated this summer. In Georgia and Alabama the farmers have planted for record breaking crops. "The south's prosperity is attracting a great deal of attention in the north. I was in Chicago last week and I heard while there that homeseekers in vast numbers were getting ready to settle in the gulf states. Alabama will doubtless get many of them." All the Grew ter Compliment "The honor bestowed by President Wil son upon Mr. Harding when the Birming ham hanker was selected as one of the five members which lie had to appoint was all the greater because it was un sought," said a mcrrmer of the Cham ber of Commerce. "When his friends referred to a rumor that he would be offered a place on the board which appealed in The Age-Her ald several weeks ago. Mr. Harding laughed it off. and said nothing of the sort would happen. Mr. Harding had never been sounded, and he insisted right up to the time The Age-Herald's Asso ciated Press bulletin was received that there was ‘nothing doing.' He was great ly surprised when the bulletin was read to him. "Mr. Harding is known in hanking cir cles in New York as an exceptionally able financier. If he accepts the appointment he will soon he known to the nation as a great constructive banker." A Mimical Visitor AlbeVt Janpolski, the distinguished Russian baritone who gave a recital here a few' years ago, was registered at the Hillman yesterday. He called on a number of his acquaintances and dur ing the afternoon gave an informal but delightful recital at Cable hall. "I am just from Atlanta, where I took in the opera." said Mr. Janpolski. "I had an appearance wdth the Phil harmonic orchestra of New’ Orleans. April 26, 'and met with a cordial recep tion. The Philharmonic is a new or chestra but it already gives promise of high achievement. Ferdinand Dunk ley is the conductor and he is one of the ablest in this country. It was a pleasant coincidence . that when I sang in a distant city two years ago Mr. Dunkley was my accompanist. "The New’ Orleans orchestra starts wdth 50 performers. It is but another evidence of the growing interest in symphonic music. I have been in the United States 10 years, and the pro gress in the development of musical laste has been amazing. There were only a few large concert orchestras when I took up my residence in this country. Now every city of 250,000 or 300,000 population has a creditable or- | chestra, while Minneapolis, Cincinnati, | St. Louis and certain other cities not , bo large have especially good orches tras. "By the way, I learn that the music lovers of Birmingham are to hear Du bois’ oratorio, ‘ParadiBe Lost,’ this week with the St. Louis Symphony orchestra as a feature. I sang the role of Satan In ‘Paradise Lost’ two years ago. The oratorio is full of beuutiful melodies and is very dramatic, as its name W'ould imply. I understand that the chorus here is made up of excellent material and is well trained. Supported by such a fine orchestra as that led by Max Zach and with a brilliant solo quartet. Birmingham has indeed a great treat in store." Should Have Fireproof Auditorium "Those of us who have attended the opera festivals in Atlanta can but applaud the Georgia city for its public spirit in building an auditorium large enough to make grand opera a financial as W'ell as an artistic success, but Birmingham's auditorium soon to be erected should be even bigger than Atlanta's and it should be fireproof," said a clubman. "The Atlanta auditorium is a fire trap, and it will he only a question of time when it will be replaced by a building of concrete construction. The building now used cost about $170,000. Birmingham* by spending $200,000, can (have a structure that would seat 8000 people and would at the sume time be safe In every respect." The Duke'll Gracious Act "I was glad to read a Virginian's ac count of the Duke of Argyll’s visit to Richmond when he was governor general of Panada, and Marquis of Lome," said another member of Birmingham's Vir ginia colony. "It is my pleasure to tell of a gracious act on the part of the duke, who passed away last Saturday. As was related in Monday’s Age-Herald, the Marquis of Lome, notwithstanding the fact of his illustrious lineage and the further fact that his wife was a royal princess, was democratic In his manner and was most kindly disposed to Americans. He had some poor relations in Fredericksburg, 60 miles from Richmond. They were not closely related, hut letters had passed between them; and when the marquis was in Richmond he took the trouble to journey 60 miles for the purpose of call ing on these Virginia cousins—all young ladies. I happened to be acquainted with the Fredericksburg family alluded to. The ladies wrere well bred, of course, but they lived in very plain style. They were so poor but proud that they had no idea of calling on the Marquis of Lome. I heard that the marquis, after visiting Fredericksburg, spoke of meeting with his cousins there as being one of the pleasantest episodes of his trip to Virginia. It certainly bespoke the gen | tleman." SAVING A SUBMARINE! St. Petersburg correspondence to the Se attle Railw’ay News. The Mingoa is one of the submarine flotilla stationed at Libau. On a Saturday several weeks ago it w’aa out for exer cise in the neighborhood of the lightship off Libau, wdth its full crew of 19 men, under the command of Lieutenant Gar soev, and as usual a tender was present during* the maneuvers. The Mingoa, which I was apparently proceeding either well on | the surface or just awash, was suddenly I discovered by those on the tender to take a plunge in somewhat abnormal fashion, throwing her stern well into the air. For sometime it w’as not supposed any acci dent had happened, and the return of the submarine to the surface was ex 1 pected, but the appearance of the emer i gency buoy gave the alarm. These buoys ! not only serve precisely to locate the | whereabouts of a sunken submarine, but are fitted with telephonic apparatus, en abling the crew to communicate with the upper air. The moment the tender learned ... ' . by these means what had happened it steamed off to the lightship, which tele graphed the news of the disaster to the dockyard headquarters at LIbau. The accident happened at 3 o'clock In the afternoon, but owing, it would seem, to the dispersal of the men on a Saturday the message was not acted on for sev eral hours, and it was not until 9 o'clock at night that the salvage vessels reached the spot. The weather conditions remained happily favorable, and divers having fixed the lifting chains, the Mingoa was suc cessfully brought to the surface by mid night. having been nine hours at the bot tom of the sea. When the after hatch was opened three men staggered out, barely able to crawl. Fifteen of the crew and the captain were got out unconscious from the after part of the vessel. There remained only the coxswain, who was in the conning tower amidships. It was necessary to raise the submarine well out of the water to get at the coning tower, and this took another three hours' work, but the coxswain, when released, after 12 hours' confinement, was in the best condition of any of the crew*. THE RETURNING CONQUEROR From the New York Times. The report of Col. Roosevelt's emerg- : ence from the wilderness has been received with Joy by countless thousands. There are many among his admirers who have felt that his absence has left the country more or less unprotecved in a time of trial. The colonel, it seems, is returning in a somewhat battered condition, after having explored regions hitherto un known to man. and, if the cable has not inadvertently deceived us, he Is suffer ing from an affliction which of old dis turbed the serenity of the most patient man in the world. As the colonel is not as patient as Job, boils must annoy him greatly, but there are compensations. From afar, yea even from the remote headwaters of the Rio Gyparana, which is identical with the Rio Duvida, and no longer, therefore, a "river of doubt,” and the Rio Castanha, which has been re named Roosevelt river, he has scented carnage, and by this time he knows all about Mr. Bryan’s proposed treaty x(dth Colombia. Wherefore, he knows that there is better game awaiting him in his own land than any of the strange beasts of the Amazon country. The colonel's afflictions of body, which we trust are slight and will soon dis appear, compel tl\e sympathy of the nation. He will have a splendid recept ion when he returns. He may find it inexpedient then to organize a brigade of rough riders for service in Mexico, but there is plenty for him to do in the way of electrifying his felow-oltizens. He will need all his strength, all his eloquence, all his lung power, to meet the expec tations of his admirers. His idea of rest is to travel over thousands of miles of wilderness and give battle to the wild beasts. We hope he has not overdone it. this time and will return in prime con dition. We all need to be aroused. Life has been so dull hereabout without the colonel. .. OSTRICHES IN AMERICA From the Philadelphia Ledger. The first importation of ostriches into the United States was made in lSS2 from South Africa into California. Several other importations followed and it was one of these later importations that brought into this country the north Afri can or Nubian bird, captured in the pro vince of Nubia, north Africa. The ma jority of birds in this country tloday are the result of these few Importations of birds into California, and consist almost wholly of the South African breed. The ostriches are no longer confined to one locality, but are rapidly spreading through the south, and are being success fully kept as far north as Pennsylvania. Ostrich farms are in California, Arizona. Texas, Arkansas, Florida, and Pennsyl vania. There are about 10 farms that have more than 100 birds each, five farms that have more than 400 birds each, and one farm that has more than 2000 birds. In all there are about 25 farms in the United States that are making a business of ostrich farming. The total aggregate of birds on these 25 farms amounts to about 7100, of which 5085 are in Arizona. ACCOUNTING FOR COl/RAGE From Stray Stories. T think," she said hesitatingly, and with downcast eyes, "that you'd better speak to papa." "Of course!" he replied promptly. "That’s easy. The only thing that trou bled me was the interview with you.” "You’re not afraid of papa?” she said, inquiringly, opening her eyes in astonish ment. j "Afraid!" he exclaimed. "Why should I be?” "Really, I don't know,” she answered, j "hut It's usual, you know.” I "Oh, I suppose so," he answered in the j | off-hand way of the man of the world. "With inexperienced men there would be nothing surprising in it. but I have taken the precaution to lend him money, which is still unpaid." Then It was that the beautiful girl realized that she had caught a genuine financier for a husband. THE DIFFERENCE From the Western Mail. A story is told of an Irish jailor who decided to walk from Newport to Car diff. He met & cart driver and asked: "How far is it from Newport to Car diff?" "Twelve rpileg, mister,” was the reply. "Thankee," said Pat. "An’ how far is it fro mCardiff to Newport?" Driver—"Didn't I tell you how far it was from Newport to Cardiff? Do you suppose it Is any farther the other way back?” Irishman—"Sure, and I don’t know. I know it is a great deal farther from New Year's Day to Christmas than from Christmas to New Year's Day.” LUKE M’LUKE SAYS From the Cincinntai Enquirer. The world is growing better. Prunes cost 40 cents per order in New York hotels. If everybody quits gabbing w?hen you enter a room it is a sure sign that you were getting yours. The reason why a bride promises to ldve, honor and obey a man is because she has never been married to him be fore and doesn't know anything about him. The reason why a married man is al ways broke is because after he has given his wife everything she wants she begins to want everything the other women want. Once in a while a married man Is so busy rubbering at other women that he can’t see the snake tracks under his own apple tree. One reason why Billy Sunday's cireus always plays to good business is because nine people out of ten have to be con* verted all over again every year. * Nature intended that man should have larger feet than woman. But that was before white shoes were Invented. Having thin arms doesn't keep a girl from wearing elbow length sleeves, be cause she realises that a man won't know that it 1» a habU with ber alt TROUBADOUR AND JESTER - „ THE IF IN LIFE. Ho. hum! Work makes us old and stiff. We never will get through it. How nice t would be to labor if We didn’t hav$ to do It. Cincinnati Enquirer. I Dyspepsia once was my disease, But I got safely by it. i I now can eat whate’er 1 pleasye, ; So long as I don’t try it. —New York Mail. I had the rheumatism once, But quickly changed my diet. Now I can work the whole day through If I but just keep quiet. JUST TO A T. She: “I read that Huerta is fond of tea.” He: “If he keep its up he wlil soon find that T changes mediation to meditation.” QUEER CUSSES. Stranger: “How odd. Why are all these men walking about with cuspidors hang ing around their necks? Citizen: “Well, you see, we have started the ‘city beautiful' movement and It's against the law to expectorate upon the streets.” ONE OF THE FINEST. Policeman: “What’s your name, little girl?” Little Girl (who Is lost): "Fanny Ellen Towne." Policeman: "But what's your name In the country?" REVERSED LEVER. Tompkins: "What, back already from your trip around the world? You did not stay long." Blllklna: "I did not go all the way around. I was so pressed for time that 1 when I got half way around I was com pelled to turn back.” APOLL/O SARTARUS. Harry: “Do you know 1 think my tailor would make an excellent poet.” Tommy: “Why so?” Harry: “His measures all fit so per fectly.” A HEADINE. \ Squibbs: ‘‘Old man Jones has just bought a whole hogshead of btains.” Gibbs: “He must be crazy. He can't eat them all in six months.” Squibbs: "Oh. there were not so many. He bought an entire hog and the brains came In Its head." A BUNNY STORY. Fond Father: “I fear our boy Is not doing much at college. He write* that his head Is full of Belgian hare*.” Doting Mother: “Bulging hairs? I guess he means that he's joined the foot ball team.” — AN APT INTERNE. Nurse: "Heavens, doctor, patient No. 22 has swallowed his thermometer.” Young Doctor: 'Tf his temperature rise* above 1M, give him an emetic." VUIXJAR FRACTIONS. Teacher: "Tommy, If a hen and a half lays two and a half eggs In three and a half days, what will four and a half hens , lay In five and a half days?” Tommy: "Please, Miss, an omelette." i C. F. M. GREAT TRIALS OF HISTORY™ TRIAL OF CATHERINE OF ARAGON * i i' mi, vjii ui r.iiKmiMi spent more time in the courtroom than any other sovereign has ever done. And it was the unaristocratic divorce court. The first of the trials instituted by Henry to rid himself of a wife of whom he had grown tired was his efforts to divorce himself from Catherine of Aragon. It re quired two long efforts, and the King be came very much peeved at the slowness of the proceedings. Henry and Catherine had been married on June 11, 1509. She had previously been mainied to his brother, and feeling that it was necessary as a policy of state to keep on good terms with Ferdinand of Spain, when his brother died he decided to marry his sister-in-law. All writers agree that the first few years of their wedded life were extremely happy, al though the Queen was six years Henry’s senor, for he was only 18 at the time of the marriage. At first Catherine exercised an enor mous influence over Henry, and, in fact, until the rise of Wolseley Catherine was the most powerful personage in the king dom. The first trouble that came between them was due to the foxey Ferdinand, who inveigled his son-in-law into a league with him against the French monarch. The result was that after he had involved England he turned traitor and concluded a treaty of peace with the French, In which Henry was entirely overlooked. This was in 1513. Henry, naturally, was angered, and the following year rumors of divorce began to be heard, but they smouldered for a long time. Then Anne Boleyn appeared and the King was at her feet. As eHnry grew more and more attached to Boleyn, he feigned remorse that he should have been guilty of unlawfully marrying his brothers widow. It was not until 1526 that Henry began pub licly to express Ills scruples regarding his wedding. To assist him to carry out his scheme he secured the services of Cardinal Wolseley. The cardinal exerted every effort with the church at Rome to annul the wedding, but his efforts failed. Finally the King succeeded in the call ing of a court of inquiry in England and the first trial was begun on May 21, 1529. The sittings were held in the Parlia ment chamber of the convent of Black friars. After the commission had been read both Catherine and Henry came for TOMORROW—TRIAL O] ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••■•••••••••■•I BRING A BURGLAR "Ex-Burglar," In the American Magazine. For nine years 1 was a burglar. I never owned or carried a gun or weapon of any kind, never owner a burglar's tool, and never was arrested. There Is one excep tion to each of those statements. The first Job 1 ever did I carried, two guns, a knife, and a blackjack—and wouldn’t have used any of them to save my life. Two months later I spent J700 for a complete burglar's outfit, good for anything from transoms to safes, 'and threw them into the river for fear of being caught with them. I was a successful thief. I d<jn’t know how much I stole, but both the crooks and the police rated me as one of the most successful and prosperous men in my line; but, even so, there were times when I was broke and hungry for days at a time. Unlike most thieves, I was prosperous long after the police rated me as a top notch man. Usually that ruins a burglar, because he cannot move without being watched. My methods were my own. Within three months after I started I de cided never to pull any rough work. 1 had become acquainted with a lot of "guns" and yeggs. 1 sized them up as lacking In brains, no matter how clever they were rated. I decided never to work with anyone, and with the exception of one "fence," whom I chose with care, no one ever had a chance to squesl on me. 1 think that Is why I succeeded and escaped the police so long. The police were four years finding out that I was a crook and five years more trying to get the goods on me. In all, It took me nine years to realize that any man who Is a thief Isn’t showing much brains—then I quit. Leave the moral part of It out, I’m speaking en tirely from a business standpoint. OUR NAVY CAN SHOOT From the New York Times. That was a tolerably good example of American gunnery afforded by the men of the mine ship San Francisco In Vera Crua harbor. With their five-inch guns they shot out the windows of the Naval col lege, one by one. /with the precision of the best target practice. There la a good ob ject lesson In this for the navies of tbs world. The question has often been asked what our navylwould do In actual serv ice with the modern armament. Here Is ons good sxsmpfc of Whst it can do. waxa. me Queen prostrated herself at the King's feet and all chroniclers agree that the speech of the rejected wife was full of eloquence and true pathos. She reminded him that she was a stranger ini a strange country; she spoke of their children, and reminded him in piteous accents that for is years she had been a loving, true and faithful wife. The procedure of Ahe ecclesiastic court was always slow, and instead of pushing the trial the court merely Issued a cita tion for the two parties to appear on the 18th of June following to state their case. The King, acting In precisely tha same manner as an ordinary litigant in an ecclesiastical suit, exacted a power of attorney and appointed two proctors to act for him, Dr. Sampson and Dr., Ball. V The Queen on her side was by no means without advice, for she selected as her counsel the Archbishop of Canterbury and the Bishops of Ely, Rochester and St. Asaph. When the 15th of June ar rived the King appeared In person. The Queen refused to allow in any way the jurisdiction of the legatees, hnd It was evident that she had made up her mind to fight the matter to the bitter end. The case for the King was that by the law of the church marriage with a de ceased brother's wife was prohibitive. Further, that such a marriage was not permitted by the law of God. In answer to this Catherine's friends admitted that the law of the church was against the marriage, but that the pope had power to dispense with the prohibition in any * particular case, and that In this case he had done so. Among those who testified as to being present at the marriage of Henry's brother and Catherine, as well as to other facts regarding the marriage, were the Earl of Shrewsburg, Sir Arthur Poynea, the Marquis of Dorset, the Vis count Fitswater and the Dukes of Suffolk and Norfolk. The trial in every way was a sham, and finally the pope summoned the King to Rome, but Henry haughtily refused to appear, either in person or by deputy, and setting the pope a tdefiance he married Anne Boleyn on January 25,s 4 1533. On the 10th of the following May, Cranmer declared the first marriage void, and on March 23, 1534, Pope Clement pro nounced It valid. Queen Catherine did not quit the kingdom, but wa sclosely guarded during the remained of her life time, her death occurring January 7, 1538. ' WHITAKER WRIGHT (•ItMMHWlMMaMMtmMmflamMMMMaHnHM SCRATCHING A PIG "The Klan" in the Tortonto Star. Old Twilight shunted a pall of swill Into the trough, and reflectively scratched tho pig's back. Old Twilight Is not the only one In the world who learned that there v Is pork In scratching. 8 Little do you think, when you sit down to your breakfast bacon that good men scratched for it. There is pork in It, and pork Is money, and money Is gasoline, and gasoline Is power, and power Is a chattel mortgage, and a chattel mort gage is like the grace of God—It Is with us always. Amen! As soon as I get through writing this, I am going out to the pen to scratch a pig. It helps to make him fat. You have ■ got to please a pig, same as a woman, or she—the pig, I mean—won't reflect credit on you. A pig with a grouch is a dead loss. You might Just as well pour your swill into a rathole. But please your pig; take half an hour off every day and go out and scratch your pig. A SAFE TEST From Judge. "Is Smithson an Intelligent, wqll In formed man?" -f "Unusually so. As a juror he is always * rejected by the attorneys on both sides!" MIRACLES By Madison Craweln. Ripple on ripple, from the east. The golden stream of morning runs; The dark world doffe its grays and duns, And high o'erhead night’s robes are creased With esure—deep as Solomon's f When he eat, throned, at feast. Y And glittering as David when He rode to battle, hrasen helmed,. And prayed his God and overwhelmed HR foee and flamed among his men. * Tlie sun comes forth, a king high realmedMil Who takes his throne again.; fl'J Ons last long sheaf of golden gray i J Tbs twilight binds, than lays aside; jfl And one white star, that tries to hide (V Its blossom thare, reveals a ray;. ” Where, like sweet Ruth, dim, dewy eyed. Dusk goes her sunset way. Then like the state which went before Bathsheba. when, with footsteps slow. Bhs trod the wise klngjs portion. Eastward a light grow*, more and moral And, then, queenttke, with face aglow. The moon—at heavepR door.