The Birmingham age-herald. [volume], May 26, 1914, Page 4, Image 4

About The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950

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THE AGE-HERALD
E. W. BAKKETT.Editor
Entered at the Birmingham. Ala.,
poatofflce as second class matter under
act of Congress March 3. 187'J.
Dally and Sunday Age Herald—38.011
Daily and Sunday per month.70
Daily and Sunday, three months .. 2.00
Weekly Age-Herald, per annum.. .&u
Sunday Age-Herald . 2,0U
A- J. Eaton, Jr., and O. E. Young are
the only authorized traveling repre
sentatives of The Age-Herald In Us
circulation department.
No communication will he published
(Without ita authors name. Rejected
manuscript will not be returned unless
stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
Remittances can be made at cut tent
rate of exchange. The Age-Herald will
not be responsible for money sent
through the mails. Address,
the aue-herald.
Birmingham. Ala.
Washington bureau. 207 Hlbbs build
*nf;uropean bureau, 6 Henrietta street.
Covent Garden. London.
Eastern business office. Rooms 48 to
EO, Inclusive. Tribune building, Nevt
Tork City; Western Dusiness 0[rlc*.
Tribune building, Chicago. T ne b. C
Beckwith Special Agency, agents for
feign advertising.
telephone
Bell (private eschasge connecting nil
Bepardnrnts). Main 4900. _
Kenr no more the bent of the nun,
Nor the furious winter's rnge«.
——(ymbellne.
BEGINNING THE DAY—May I
know Thee. O God. n» happy In Ihe
blessings ... set pouring out
upon men. May the gospel he al
ways Kind lldlngs lo me. Anil may
I be glad—Kind because I am bleat.
Kind because I represent a Kind God
and am trying to tell a Kind slorj.
In Christ's name. Amen.—H. M. E.
The Becker Trial
V> The dramatic finale of Becker's sec
end trial for the murder of Herman
Rosenthal was heightened by the large
personal interest taken in this case all
over the United States. People who
have been wagging their heads wisely
ever since Becker’s arrest and saying
that he would never go to the death
chair, will have to acknowledge that
just now he has small chance of es
caping it. "I told you so!” was fre
quently said when it was announced
that Becker had been granted a new
trial. His removal from Sing Sing was
looked on as the first step toward his
ultimate release, but a second convic
tion must remove every trace of doubt
in the public mind as to his guilt.
The New York police system was
thoroughly corrupt when Becker was
a lieutenant in charge of the “stronj
arm” squad which had control of thi
tenderlobi district and the manage
ment of gambling houfees and place
of.ill repute. That Becker was gettinj
his share of the graft extracted fron
the denizens of the underworld by thi
police is scarcely to be questioned
There is good reason for believing tha>
he got considerably more than his
share of loot and it was inordinati
greed that proved his undoing. Thi
evidence from the first pointed strong
ly to Becker as the “man higher up
who was responsible for Rosencna
being “put out of the way.”
y It is hard to feel much sympath;
for Becker, although he is no doub
considerably more of a man than h
was before he was sent to Sing Sinp
following his first conviction. He ha
shown some phases of character ir
teresting to a student of human na
ture, he has borne himself courageous
ly, but the shadow of guilt has bee
upon him ever since the facts in th
Rosenthal killing were brought out.
Mrs. Becker, who has made such
plucky fight for her husband's life, i
a pathetic figure in the case. Her loy
alty to the man has won general ad
miration. The foreman of the jur
wept when he gave in its verdict. Th
wife whose efforts proved in vain wa
not in court to harrow his feeling sti!
more, but the thought of her migh
well have brought the moisture to hi
eyes. __ Aia
Where the Responsibility Lies
The trial in Italy of Porter Charlton
the American who is accused of mur
dering his wife at Lake Como, ha
caused a correspondent of that plac
to furnish some pertinent statistic
relative to the punishment and sup
pression of homicide in Italy and th
United States.
These statistics are by no mean
flattering to either nation and it is op
portune that they present conditions i
the two worst countries of Christen
dom as to the handling of crime an
violence. The figures show that whil
the United States has about thr«
"times the population of Italy the latti
has just one-third as many murders i
the former. While there is no capiti
punishment in Victor Emmanuel
kingdom the percentage of convictioi
is relatively high, about two-thirds i
the murderers arraigned being pui
iehed. In the United States less the
2 per cent of the accused are convict*
and yet one wonders at the frequem
of homicides in this country.
This small percentage of convictioi
with us is in glaring contrast to thi
of Germany, while 95 per cent <
those arraigned for murder are coi
victed and punished. The effect i
such a certainty in punishment is ri
fleeted in the relatively few homicidi
which are committed in the Germs
empire. With a population of on!
»
: one-third les's than that of the United
States Germany has but 500 murders
annually, while in our country they
exceed 9000.
Unquestionably the practice of carry
ing pistols is responsible for a vast
majority of the killings perpetrated in
the United States, and with a weapon
of venganee at hand there is little
to restrain an angered man who has
had constantly before him the fact
tjjat a turning loose of 98 per cent of
the homicides insures killing with im
munity from punishment.
After all when one complains of the
degeneracy of the times and of the
human process to take life he should
remember that it is the community re
flected through the action of its juries
in almost universal acquitment that
is responsible for most of the 9000 an
nual murders in our land.
Ireland's Glad Day
After long years of waiting and
struggle Ireland is to have at last its
own Parliament at Dublin. The home
rule bill passed its third reading in the
House of Commons yesterday. As the
House of Lords can no longer exercise
a veto power, the bill only needs the
King's formal assent to become opera
tive.
According to a clause of the bill the
counties in the province of Ulster will
have the right to take a poll as to
whether these counties would be ex
cluded for a period of six years from
the provisions of the home rule act.
A few months ago the Ulsterites,
under the leadership of Sir Edward
Carson, threatened civil war, but noth
ing of the sort will happen. Even if
Ulster decides to remain for a time
directly under the Imperial Parliament
at London, in the end Ireland will be
all one. Peace and content will pre
vail. Under the land reform law the
Emerald Isle has made substantial
progress in recent years. The one time
tenants have been buying the farms
on which they lived and by their in
dustry have prospered as in the days
of old. A brave and liberty loving
but oppressed people have come to
their own, and liberty loving people
throughout the world will now rejoice
with the sons of Erin.
A premier less resolute or less able
than Mr. Asquith would have given
up the fight for Ireland when the
opponents of home rule were making
wrathful demonstrations. But the
great leader of the liberal party was
determined and the victory was de
cisive. The people of Ireland are
naturally wild with joy. But they
have learned to restrain themselves
1 and when the Dublin Parliament is
established it will be a model of dig
5 nity and decorum.
r .. ■ ■■■■— —
1 More Valuable Than Diamonds
Nothing can be more gratifying tc
the local sentiment than the remark
able growth of ^the coke industry and
the pre-eminently leading part that
Alabama has taken in that industry
in the past year.
Statistics recently issued from
Washington upon this topic disclose
' the fact that the year 1913 was the
greatest in coke production in the
' United States, exceeding all previous
records by 2,327,000 tons.
The total output for the year was
’ 46,311,360 tons, which indicates tha1
s not only is the already large demand
for coke in iron smelting increasing
but that its use for other industria
purposes is annually being augmented
1 In this flattering showing Alabami
5 stands at the head of the roster ant
Pennsylvania, the coke king, is forcet
1 to take second place so far as per
8 centage of increase is concerned. The
increase in Alabama was 50 per cent
while the industry in Pennsylvania
f advanced but 33 per cent.
An interesting feature of the sta
tistics is the growth of coke made in
retorts and thus affording an oppor
1 tunity for the utilizing of by-products,
3 the production of which is assuming
proportions almost as important as
those of the original product. The
, production of coke so manufactured in
- the United States in 1913 totaled
j 12,^4,700 tons.
> - It is difficult to presage the exteni
s to which this industry will reach. The
. by-products obtain better results in
> the manufacture of coke both in the
form of fuel and other substances and
s as the future is annually adding tc
. the value of fuel it is natural to look
i for an expanded employment of means
. to secure the most valuable anc
j economic results from the process,
e The retorts of the Birmingham dis
e tricts are of more value to the com
r munity than diamond mines would be
s for they mean augmented industria'
il life and a never ceasing influx oi
s wealth,
s '
^ The American Jew as a Farmer
Leonard G. Robinson, general mans
n ger of the Jewish Agricultural and Ir
j dustrial Aid society, with headquarter
y in New York city, has recently issue
an interesting brochure treating of th
lg agricultural activities of the Jews i
America, and presents an array of flj
,f urea most flattering to that race.
The Jewish population in the Unite
if States is considerably in excess t
>- 2,000,000 and in this respect this com
is try is «ply surpassed by Russia, whlc
n has 6,000,000 Jewish subjects,
y As far back aa colonial days the Jen
' ' l , ( .
engaged In agriculture in this country,
but the first colony established upon
17,000 acres of land at Ararat on Grand
Island in the Niagara river was rather
premature and the newcomer gravi
tated toward the south. Abraham de
Lyon brought the wine and silk culture
from Portugal to Georgia and other
Jews in that state soon engaged ex
tensively in the cultivation of indigo,
rice, corn, tobacco and cotton.
Later the movement shifted to the
north and west and today New York
state leads with a colen.v of 5460 Jew
ish farmers upon 09.747 acres valued
at $5,363,120. New Jersey follows with
3700 Jewish farmers tilling 54,984
acres valued at $4,636,000, while Con
necticut comes next with 3085 Jews
following the plow over 47,841 acres
worth $3,028,333.
In the west, North Dakota leads with
1155 Jews living upon 86,018 acres
worth $2,489,175. In the south, Texas
stands at the head of the roster with
Virginia a-close second and even Ala
liama makes a showing. In the last
mentioned state the Jews are farming
something over 500 acres valued at
$7672. The resume shows that in the
United States some 25,000 Jews are
farming 600,000 acres of land valued at
$33,000,000 In round numbers.
The real initiation of the agricultural
movement among the Jews In this
country was in 1881 and was the out
come of a Russian persecution tit Kieft
when thousands upon thousands fled
for their lives into Austria. The Aus
trian government threatened to send
the starving refugees hack unless th«
situation was immediately relieved,
when the Alliance Israelite Universelle
came to the rescue and sent 1500 ol
them to the United States, consequent
l.v the enterprise is comparativelj
young. The great agricultural wealth
of the south and the opportunities
which this section offers are attracting
the attention of the Jewish Agricui
tural and Industrial Aid society so that
the colonization of Jews as farmers in
the southern states may lie expected
in the near future.
W. H. Day, professor of physics In the
Ontario Agricultural college, has pro
duced facts and figures to prove thai
lightning rods, looked npon by most peo
ple as antiquated, are almost an abso
lute protection from lightning wher
property Installed, He says that out ol
every thousand dollars’ worth of dam
age done to buildings not equipped wltt
lightning rods, *999 worth could be savec
if the buildings had been protected b>
rods. He declares that It has taken bin
13 years of investigation to compile the
data on which he bases his statement
In the report of 24 insurance companlei
only two buildings furnished with light
nlng rods were burned, and these two fire
were caused by defective installation
Forty companies last year reported 62
Instances where damage was done b;
lightning, with a loss of $113,459. On
hundred and ten building were burned
Out of the 621 buildings struck only 1
had lightning rods and the total damag
to them was $3917. The efficiency o
rods is thus shown to be 92 per cent. Ii
Ohio lightning rods show an efficiency o
98.7 per cent," and in Michigan 99.9 fo
1912. During the past eight years It 1
estimated that Insurance companies I
Ontario have paid claims for damage
on buildings with rods that total $4464, a
average of $10.15 for each company pe
year. On buildings without rods the
paid in the same length of time $341,065, 0
$775.15 for each company per year, whicl
gives an efficiency percentage for the rod
of 98.7.
While it is doubtless true that Presi
dent Wilson and Secretary Bryan at
“taking on gray hair and the lines o
age." they have both reached the tlm
of life when such things happen to me
and the situation, viewed In that lighi
does not appear at all tragical.
A former “wild man” died the other da
and out of gratitude willed his rstati
valued at 25 cents, to a sheriff who ha
treated him kindly in jail. A “windfall
like that is not the sort that tempts th
legatee to peek the “Great White Way.
An Englishman who was stopping at
Niagara Falls hotel called up the cler!
and complained of the vibration. Th
clerk was dazed, but managed to c>
plain that he was helpless before such
large volume of water.
A man who never took a drink and wa
kissed when a child by Lafayette died r<
cently In New Jersey, doubtless havln
related both circumstances during hi
long life nt least 20,000 times.
The New York woman who says Salom
may have been the first woman doctoi
will have to acknowledge that Salome
conduct at times did not reflect any cred
on the medical profession.
American soldiers make business goc
wherever they go, but sending them oi
to meddle In the affairs of another corn
try Is'not always a sound business polic
for Uncle Sam.
The Columbus, O., State Journal sa:
tile real backbone of the country hi
supper instead of dinner, which seen
to be a reference to the “horny-handi
■ sons of toll."
It is doubtless with a sense of acu
3 personal satisfaction that Charles }
' Mellon unloads some private matters th
5 have been weighing on his mind a loi
It time.
While Sir Conan Doyle Is In this eou
try he may be able to get a few sugge
4 tlons for some new stories from the vlv
if Imagination of Detective Burns.
1 T. B. calls for the bull ijiooae party
^ save the country and Is already so de
In politics that a river more or le
• means little to him.
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
A Popular Visitor
R. A. Dugan of Chicago, former as
sistant general manager of the South
ern railway, Is registered at the Hill
man. As he has a host of friends here
lie is always a popular visitor. Mr.
Dugan is interested in a coal mining
company in the district.
“I am always glad to get hack to
Birmingham." said Mr. Dugan. “This
city is progressing steadily and I no
tice decided improvement since 1 was
here several months ago.
“The coal trade has been quiet for
sometime, but it is now showing signs
of activity. The fine crop reports are
having a good effect on the business
situation generally and a high degree
of prosperity is expected this summer."
Farm Truth \o. 1
“In the pamphlet published bv the
Southern Settlement and Development
Organization of Baltimore, and which
is being distributed by the Alabama
department of that organization, on the
use of lime in soil building, and writ
ten by Dr. Cy^il G. Hopkins, director
of agriculture, of the parent body,
there is a gn at deal of information
of the very highest order for the farm
ers of Alabama,” said Joseph O. Thomp
son yesterday.
“I have r*ad a great deal of the
value of lime for fertilizing and build
ing up soils, but there are many facts
given in this publication from the pen
of Dr. Hopkins that are at variance
with the common idea of how lime
should be used that should have the
widest publicity. He shows how caustic,
or freshly burned lime, on certain soils
does positive harm In consuming the
surplus humus, which is necessary to
sustain production, and, therefore, ad
vocates ground limestone in the pro
portion of four tons to the acre, where
the soil is acid, and he gives certain
simple tests whereby such soils can
readily be determined, but his whole
pamphlet is replete with useful In
formation that should lie In the hands
of every progressive farmer in the
state. 1 have never read anything
that gave me more clear insight as to
the use of lime, although I had known
that lime lands were the most pro
ductive of all others, but this pamphlet
tells how practically all soils In this
state can be made lime land and the
Southern Settlement and Development
Organization is to be congratulated
in obtaining the services of so able a
man as Dr. Hopkins to head their ag
ricultural department.”
^ The \ew Cardinals
“I am familiar with the names of only
a few of the cardinals just created, hut
from all accounts every one of the ec
clesiastics to receive a red hat is ex
ceptionally strong in character and
notable for Ills scholarship," said a lay
man.
“When the list of those said to be se
lected by the pope for the college of car
dinals was published a few weeks ago
some well Informed Catholics doubted its
authenticity, but the fact that it appeared
in The Age-Herald’s Associated Press
news from Rome settled the matter in mv
mind, and the official report of the meet
ing of the consistory just held confirms
tlie correctness of the advance informa
tion.
“As the archbishop of New York and 1
, the archbishop of Boston and former Pa
pal Delegate Diomede Faleonio were cre
ated at the last consistory, no American
cardinals appear in the new list. While
• Cardinal Faleonio is a native of Italy and
1 is now resident in Rome he was sent as
• a young priest to the United States, and
» became naturalized. He is still an Amer
ican citizen. In the college of cardinals
, he is therefore listed as an American.
"I am glad to see that Abbot Gasquet,
the head of the English Benedictines and
^ famous as a Biblical scholar, Is now' a
1 cardinal. The abbot’s elevation to the
r cardlnalate will interest thousands of
r Americans who had the pleasure of meet
. Ing the distinguished Englishman last
1 winter and hearing him In lecture on the
Bible. I regretted that Abbot Gasquet
• could not find time to visit the Benedictine
1 monastery at Cullman—St. Bernard. Had
• he accepted an invitation to preach or de
• liver ,an address there hundreds of fctu
. dents and scholarly men would have jour
l neyed from different parts of the state
to Cullma nto greet him, enjoy his elo
quence and hear his authoritative mes
sage on the Bible and the revision of
the Vulgate."
e Selling h View
f “I am reminded of an incident that
, happened to me in a Texas town," said
, a well known traveling man yestciday
as he stood on the promenade of the
Newspaper club and looked out over the
city.
y “I can’t call names because I might
offend somebody, but this little town
has about 40,000 or 50,000 people and is
1 located right in the great Texas farm
ing and grazing lands. It is a real
s metropolis to the people down there,
• and especially because located right In
the heart of it is a 14-story skyscraper
l office* building. There is probably not
e another building in the town over two
p stories and the majority of them arc
just one, so that that big, tall sky
scraper looks like a sapling standing
1 in the middle of a wheat field.
“Well, the big sight for any of the
ranchmen when they come to town is
8 to go to the top of this building, and
• an admission of 25 cents is charged by
5 the owners to all persons who do so.
s A regular ticket window is located at
the elevators and any person desiring
to go to the top must buy a ticket for
e a quarter and present the ticket to the
■t custodian on the roof, after which he
a may gaze to his heart’s content out
across the Texas prairie. I don’t know
Just why, but the thing struck me as
particularly amusing."
d Increasing Militia Efficiency
it “Notwithstanding the fact that the
Mexican situation Is apparently cleared
y up for'the time being, the war depart
ment will continue getting the military
forces of the country into proper trim,’
a said an officer of the Alabama National
g Guard. “The troops of the several states
of the union will be mobolized during
18 the summer and brigade encampment!
d formed. The militia will be fullj
equipped as soon as possible and w ill be
raised to the highest degree of * ffl
Ie ciency. The brigade encampments ar<
necessary for the reason that while th<
it militia officers are fully competent ti
handle the smaller bodies of troops*
they have not had the actual experience
In the field with the brigade and dlvis
n„ loti formation.
B_ “Although the peace negotiation!
seera to have brought about a feeling
that there will be no trouble with Mqx
ico, yet it is the opinion of army cf
lo ficers that intervention sooner or late
is inevitable and as an indication o
that conclusion the war department hai
» ordered the recruiting of each brand
of the service up to its full war strongtl
,\ - .
ana is taking an active part in cne
mobolizntion of the Estate troops so
as to fully ascertain their numerical
strength and efficiency. Personally. 1
believe we will he called into active
service within the next few months "
ROLLS THREE WILES
Baltimore correspondent in the New
STork Sun.
.T. Howell Parr, well known in society
here, qualified today as the roller champ
on of the world. At 11:19 A. M. to
3ay he finished polishing off three miles
of macadamized road with his clothes,
out it took 15 hours and 34 minutes for
Him to do it.
Parr and his friends were talking
last night about various things when
some one brought rolling into the con
versation. Parr descanted at length
about what a fine roller he was. When
lie said it was just as easy for him to
roll a few miles as it would be for
another mortal less gifted to roll off
i leg bets were in order.
Parr accepted them all, his friends
believing that even if he could roll three
miles he wouldn’t, and $800 of Parr's
money against that much of his
friends was put up in the hands of the
stakeholders before 'Parr performed a
single roll.
Then he sent for pads for his elbows
and knees, and bandages for his hands,
r thick sweater, and winter golf
trousers. Then he began to roll, care
fully :<#<! thoughtfully, like a man
who has given much attention to the
art. He would flop over five times,
covering about 20 feet, and then
would sit up and rest. Toward morn
ing he would take his rest lying down,
however, over pillows* fixed for him
by those of his friends who had not
bet against him. He kept at it all night,
and this morning a number of girls
followed his work carefully, subjecting
him to much jollying the while.
When Parr got four and seven-six
teenth yards away from tlie finish line
an indignant mother, named Mrs. Parr,
appeared and created a scene by taking
hold of her son and commanding him
to get up. Parr made four quick flops
to the finish line, at University Park
way, and then obeyed.
Dt SINESS REVIVAL
From the Philadelphia Public Ledger.
Pencoyd has set its men to work on
full time again. The action of this
huge builder of bridges is significant
of better days ahead.
From a great number of points come
signs, some feeble, but others more
pronounced, of a trade revival. Steel
mills are doing a little more work and
railroad' earnings have checked some
what their headlong downward plunge.
Crop news is excellent, and *he wheat
yield at this moment promises to ex
ceed every other former harvest in
America by nearly 200,000,000 bushels.
The country is on the soundest pos
sibe financial basis. There is no infla
tion, no “water" to be squeezed out and
no large bankruptcies pending. The
country is thoroughly liquaded, includ
ing a liquadition of labor through the
enforced idleness of an immense army
of men.
Money is reasonably cheap and credit
Is sound. A1 of the ills which afflict
the United Slat* s art trifling compare!
with its blessings. All its troubles are
small when weighed against the
troubles of other great nations. The
most hopeful aspect of the situation if
the growing feeling that Congress will
let business recover itself and attempl
no furthur throttling processes. U
this hope is rea’lxied all will Ire well.
But best of all, the resiliency of oui
people has 4>een proven scores of times
in flie past! century, 'vfhe surest way
to fail in business in America is to be
come a chronic pessimist. The surest
way to succeed is to pin your faith, as
our fathers pinned theirs, to the invin
cible qualities of our country.
LAST OF THE MARIE CELESTE
David A. Wasson In Outing Magazine.
There are few people who have nol
heard of the case of the American brls
Marie Celeste, which in 1872 was inex
plicably abandoned in calm weather of
the Azores by a crew never after heart
from. Few, however, know tHat it endec
its career at the hands of the barrator.
On its last voyage it cleared from Bos
ton for Port an Prince. Haltt, ostensibly
with a cargo of valuable merchandise
insured for $30,000. When within a fev
miles of its destination it went ashon
near Miragoane and became a total wreck
The captain, Parker, promptly sold th‘
cargo, sight unseen, to American consu
Mitchell for $500. Mitchell saved it a
some trouble, but. lived to wish he hadn’t
When the underwriter’s agent arrive*
on the scene to investigate, he foun:
several funny things about the cargo
One case shipped as cutlery and insurec
for $1,000 contained dog collars worth $50
Barrels supposed to contain expensivt
liquors were full of worthless dregs, *
consignment of salt fish insured for $5,00
was rotten, and other articles mentionec
in the bill of lading proved to be in keep
ing.
Consul Mitchell, not only duped, bu
outlawed, stood not on the order of his
going, but cleared out for tall timber
The captain of the brig t^as tried in th<
United States district court in Boston con
vlcted and sentenced to a long term li
prison, where he died three month
later.
A TRICK OF THE TRADE
From the Chicago News.
In one of the back streets in Philadel
pbia is a little Jewelry store which 1
making progress.
“What’s the price of nickel alarn
clocks?"
“Dwendy-flfe cends."
“What! Why, how’se that? least wee]
you told my son they were $1.”
“Yaw, dat is so. Listen: You are ;
good frien’, so I tell you. Ven 1 hat som
I sells him for von tollar. Now, I aln’i
got none, I sells him for dwendy-fife rends
Dot makes me a rebutation for cheabness
und I don’t lose noddlngs!”
LUKE M’LUKE SAYS
From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
There are two kinds of lawn hose. Th
rubber kind and the kind that makes yo
rubber.
You would imagine that a homely gii
would feel complimented when you stare
at her. But she doesn’t. She thinks yo
are kidding her.
If the men keep on growing bald th
burlesque houses will have to be real
ranged so every seat is in the front rov
The only thing in a house that doesn
collect duftt is a boy’s savings bank.
When a man spends 10 minutes hun'
ing a number and then calls up thre
times to find that the line is busy. It :
poor policy to tell him that the telephor
is a great time saver.
1 It is taking Huerta longer than tm
women to say good-by.
Every now and then you A (at won
an who should come under the head <
"dressed bee(.”
You couldn’t make a Prlnceaa believe I
hut there are lots of men who can mal
1 910.000 a year who don't knew any moi
about doing the Maxlxe than a hip*
potamui knowe about aquarlaf the oirel
e’ x . > ., . i *' • n'ninwnin iiC
TROUBADOUR AND JESTER
IT
They say that now we’ve a third sex
In woman's form ’tis get
But it has male proclivities
E'en to the cigarette.
It smokes, it drinks, it lives in flats
Rides in taxis alone;
It saws a hone, a sermon spouts
And quotes Coke or Blackstone.
They imitate the neuter bee,
Don't care a cuss for kids;
1 They like to work just as a mule;
In fact they are hybrids.
So when we up our grammars take
And He, She. It we 3ee,
We know that It is nature s freak;
She’s It and It is she.
INHERITED TASTE
Because she smokes a cigarette
Don’t call her a peach ripe;
In days other her grandmother
Used to smoke a pipe.
nobiLe SOUL
First Citizen: "We have at least one
man in this town who devotes his life to
the uplift movement.” ^
Second Citizen; “Who Is he?”
First Citizen* "The village baker with
his yeast.”
tocTT,ate
Had Noah known our trouble
I venture this remark—
Ho d have swatted those two flies
Eefore they left the ark.
GOOD GUARANTEE
Husband: "Is this butter perfectly
fresh?”
Wife: "The dealer told me it was just
from the crematory.”
AT NIAGARA
First Politician: "I understand that the
Mexican mediation delegate was soaked
last night.”
Second Politician: "Pulke or whisky?”
First Politician: "Neither; he got too
near the Falls.”
CROSS-EYED
Silas: "Can’t understand why Bill Hard
row doesn't have better luck fishing. He
keeps his eye always on the cork.”
Hex: "Yes, but the cork is always in
the bottle.”
ODD TADPOLES
Teacher: "Tommy, what are antipodes?”
Tommy: "I know; they are little black
things in the creeks that turn into Logs.
SYLPHLIKE
Grimsby: "I don’t think in that last
tango my partner had anything on me.”
Quimsby: "No; and she scarcely had
anything on herself.” C. F. M.
■•■If
GREAT TRIALS OF HISTORY
“TRIAL OF ANDREW JACKSON”
IF wealth and position has any influ
ence over the law in these days it
certainly cut no figure in the days
when the republic was young. No better
illustration of this could be shown than
the trial of Andrew Jackson, who became
a public hero and demi-god. Although pub
lic opinion was strongly in tlie favor of
the hero of New Orleans, it did not stop
the wheels of justice when he was sum
moned and tried for contempt of court.
When the war of 1812" was over vague
rumors of peace drifted into New Or
leans. but still Jackson did not feel justi
fied in revoking the martial law, under
which he had placed the city. While the
city was in this state, this peculiar in
cident started. A man, named Louaillier,
was tried as being a spy and was acquit
ted. This displeased Jackson and feeling
that in the martial law he had complete
command of the city he, in opposition to
the court, retained Louaillier in prison
and sent Judge Hall out of the city with
orders not to return until It was regu
larly posted that peace had been declared
or that the enemy had left the coast.
The following day came the overdue no
tice officially explaining that peace had
been declared and that the treaty had
revoked the martial law and set all his
prisoners free. Then preparing to send
home the detached militia from Louisiana,
Tennessee and Kentucky, amid the greet
ings and demonstrations of the populace,
Judge Hall returned to the city.
In order to uphold the honor, as it
seems, of the civil over the maritial gov
ernment. Judge Hall issued, on March
21, an order summoning Jackson to court
for contempt of a habeas corpus writ,
and also to state his reasons for so do
ing. On March 27, Jackson, with one of
l;Is aides, Major Reid, appeared In court
with a written paper containing these
reasons. He then retired, leaving Reid
to read the paper, which he had no more
than started to do when he was inter
rupted by the court and asked the nature
of the contents that followed. Reid re
plied that it “came within the scope ol
rules the court had laid down.”
Not wishing to continue without ad
vice, the judge adjourned the cose until
the morrow. When the sitting reassembled
the following day, Reid was not allowed tc
TOMORROW—TRIAL OF STAF
a.................................................
CRICKET DECADENT
From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
One reads with amazement in the Lon
don Times that the game of cricket is
becoming passe. Americans have long
wondered how such an unexciting game
could retain Its popularity. To watch a
leisurely (Contest all day and to depart al
dusk without knowing which side was
winner is not an American’s idea of a
"good lltne.” Americans simply accepted
the Englishman's word for it that h<
liked cricket. It now appears that th<
British affection for the quiet and inof
fensive sport has been slowly waning foi
sometime, and Is In peril of ultimate ex
tinction.
The Times 1ms various explanations t(
account for the impending demise.
"People in these mercantile days," il
says, "want a big return for their money
One hour and a half's football, with s
definite result, gives the spectator a tabli
topic for the ensuing three months; t
whole day at cricket, interesting thougt
it may be, very seldom decides a match
and it is the decision which draws thi
money.
"Unfortunately at the present momen
there does not seem to be the sami
county spirit as there used to be. Per
haps it is owing to the fact that pcopl<
have to work more strenuously than the;
had to 20 years ago. They do not tun
up in numbers, and numbers mean gat
’ money, and gate money means every
’ thing."
There is a further frank admission tha
I "first-class cricket/of the present day I
the dullest of all games unless the spec
tator rightly understands the game an'
1 takes an intelligent interest." It may b
held that all games are dull to those wh
1 do not rightly understand them. The im
’ plication is that cricket requires a hlghl
1 cultivated artflclal liking which 1s not t
• be inculcated in the busy populace o
’ today.
There is so little similarity between th
active, thrilling American national gam
and the English sport that it is difficul
B to believe baseball was derived froi
j cricket. The difference now consists i
the American game s speediness, whic
j is in accord with the spirit of the tlmei
1 KIND-HEARTED THEATREGOER
. From the Philadelphia Bulletin.
? "These people say they were not
.. trust." .aid George K. Service th. De.
t ver lawyer, apropos of a convioted co,
poration. "Wall, trust or no. the outRd
- dealer got about a. much Justice atthe
e handg M the little man got in the thei
* tf"A big fat man at the theatre sat c
o his overcoat. Thus the little man behlr
him could not see at all.
•• ‘I can't so* anything, mister,' sa
>f the little man plaintively, touching tl
big man on the shoulder,
t, Tie n’t see anything, hey?”
'* " ‘No, air, I can't sea a thing.'
1 M •Well. then. I'll a* you up. Just koi
SPSlS/- #,• \ ' ^
I continue and me argument was re
j quested. Jackson’s counsel would offer
| no argument as he protested against the
[ jurisdiction of the court, and again the
! sitting was suspended. The next day,
j Jackson appeared in court in person. He
[ held a written protest against the decision
which was to be given. Also among his
papers was a protestation drafted by Ab
ner L. Duncan, a young lawyer of no
mean ability, as follows:
‘‘I will not answer interrogatories. I
may have erred, but my motives cannot
be misinterpreted. The law can be sat
j istted without hurting my feelings, whose
dictates under such circumstances 1 mo£t
candidly acknowledge, it would be diffi
cult, if not impossible, to restrain.”
This apologetic statement was not put
to use, but instead one was drawn up by
Reid starting exactly the same way with
the very much the same idea and which
still is preserved. Jackson s bearing at
the trial was creditable to him in every
way. At one time a demonstrative
crowd began to murmur and threaten
the judge. Quickly rising in his seat,
Jackson awed them into silence and after
bowing to the bench resumed his seat.
There is no doubt that both the judge
and the tried were doing their duty, and
what was more, a duty that to both was
very distasteful. Judge Hall's bearing
deserves credit and it was, as he said:
"The only question is whether the law
should bend to the general, or the general
bend to the lawr.” The court then saw
clearly their duty and hesitated for not |
one moment.
Hall then imposed ft line of $1000, re
marking that the duty was unpleasant,
that he could not forget the important
services of the defendant to the country,
and that in consideration thereof he would
not make imprisonment a part of the pun
ishment.
The fine was promptly paid amid cheer
ing of the crowd for the popular hero. ,
He was borne from the courthouse on the
shoulders of the crowd. One thousand |
dollars was raised by subscriptions and j
placed to his credit. This he politely ro- !
fused, but we may add that when he was ;
President later,' by an act of Congress he
took the money with Interest, amount
ing in all to $2700.
FORD, DUKE OF BUCKINGHAM
i........
SOBS THROWN IN
From London Public Opinion.
Two English farmers met In the market ,
town, and there was a calculating look; j
In the eyes of both as they faced on*
another. ;
“About that there roo I was talking toU
you of the other day.” began Farmer
Dobbins, “will you take 12 pounds for
her, George?”
"No, no. Ol couldn't part with ’er for
that-not by a long chalk.”
“Hut t'other day you told me you might
let ’er go for that.”
‘ Something's 'appened to the, coo sinca
then.”
■‘Mercy oln us, George, what’s the mat
ter? Coo dead?”
"Worsen 'n I hat.” said Gearge. ‘Toil
sep my old missus can't abear to part
with the old coo. It 'ud break 'er 'eart.
She'd sob ’erself into a fit.”
"Well, well, I suppose that ends th*
business ?”
"Well, I'm not so sure o’ that. Farmer
, Hayseed. Look 'ere. Make it 12 pun' 10,
and let the missus sob.”
, COUNTIES IN TEXAS
From the Philadelphia Record,
i It Is not unusual In Pennsylvania for
’ single counties, such as Lancaster,
i Schuylkill, Lackawanna and Luzern*,
i to have so large a population that each
■ constitutes a separate congressional dis
trict. Compare this condition with Tox
t as, where one congresslnnal district, tha
) Sixteenth, Is composed of no less than 57
• counties, nearly ns many as thero ar«
l in this entire state. Another embraces
; 48 counties, and a third 2S. Apparently
i Texas has too many counties, or per
- naps Pennsylvania has too few. The ton
r denev In the southern states In to make
> these subdlvlslone too smail. Texas
f though a very big state, has 249 count!si
already and probably creates new onei
, at every session of the legislature.
B -—
t THE BROKEN PINION
a By Hezeklah Butterwortli.
I walked through the woodland meadows
Where sweet the thrushes sing;
• And 7 found on a bed of mosses
A bird with a broken wing.
I healed Its wound, and each morning
It sang Its old sweet strain,
But the bird with a broken pinion
i Never soared as high again.
._ I found a young life broken
By Sin's seductive art;
• And touched with a Christ like pity,
r I took him to my heart.
,- He lived with a noble purpose
And struggled not In valn;\
n But the life that Sin had stricken
j Never soared as high again.
But the bird with a broken pinion
d Kept another from tha spare;
e And the life that Sin had etrlcken
Raised another from despair.
*
Each loss has Its compensation,
Thar* Is hsating for avery pain;
P But th* bird with a broken nlhtm j
• Mmmri* aa ugh Silk,
N . 4
.... V