The Birmingham age-herald. [volume], August 15, 1914, Page 4, Image 4

About The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950

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THE AGE-HERALD
K. BARRETT.Editor.
Entered at the Birmingham, Ala.,
postolfiee as second class matter under
act of Congress March 3, 1873.
Dally and Sunday Age-Herald . 18.00
Daily and Sunday, per month.7o
Daily and Sunday, three months. 2.00
Weekly Age-Herald, per annum. *50
Sunday Age-Herald. 2.00
A. J. Eaton, Jr., O. E. Young and W.
H. Overbey are the only authorized
traveling representatives of The Age
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not be responsible for money sent
through the malls. Address,
THE AGE-HHRA LD,
Birmingham, Ala.
^"wa^hh^gT^^^biReaih 2 0 7 Mib 1)h bui 1 d
ing.
European bureau, G Henrietta Street,
Covent Garden, London.
Eastern business office. Rooms 4S to
60. inclusive. Tribune building. New
York city; Western business office,
Tribune building. Chicago. The* S. C.
Beckwith Special Agency, agents for
eign advertising.
TELEPHONE
Bell < prlvnlr eachnnee connecting all
departments). Main 4IMHI.
The stern and direful god of war.
— \ enns and Adonis.
BEGINNING THIjJ DAY—Teach
me, O Lord, the difficult art of for
getting myself. May I learn the
blessedness of being Interested In
another's appearance. In another s
pleasure. In nnother's success. («bc
me- *«he freedom and the courage
which come from fighting my broth
er's battles rather than my own.
For Christ's snkc. \men—H. M. E.
The Smallest Principality
Among the few potentates of Eu
rope who are still invested with high
authority is Prince Albert of Monaco.
His principality is an independent
state, and although he has an advisory
council, the government is virtually in
his hands.
Monaco is abcyil the only country in
Europe that is net in the throes of
war or on the verge of a t.loody con
flict. It is not only unshaken now,
but will probably remain so. It is a
miniature nation, having an area of
only eight square miles—less than
one-sixth of the area of Birmingham
nnd a population only half as large as
Montgomery’s. It occupies, neverthe
less, a place of distinction among the
powers. The capital city of the prin
cipality of Mortaco is Monaco, and is
on? of the gaming centers of Europe.
Despite its gambling craze, Monaco is
noted for its singularly good order in
general. The principality maintains
no standing army, but it has a con
stabulary of about 70 men armed with
rifles.
Homicides are rare in Monaco. In
the last 15 years murders there total
less than Jefferson county’s record
in one month.
Although many of Prince Albert’s
subjects are industrious, the fruits of
their toil barely a"" ’ ’ ‘cnee.
The revenues of the principality would
not be sufficient to pay its little po
lice force and meet other .aiming ex
penses, and that’s how gambling
stands on a commercial basis. The
gambling houses produce virtually all
the public revenue.
It is a noteworthy fact that Prince
Albert himself never played a card,
rolled dice, or took a chance at rou
lette. He is a student, and is said to
be a man of unostentatious piety. His
principal recreation is hunting. He
visited the United States recently and
spent most of his time in fields and
forests.
As Monaco produces little or noth
ing it has no markets, and therefore
the war cannot even effect the price
of local commodities. The only thing
that the Prince can worry over is the
possibility of a falling off .in gambling
activities in the closing period of the
year. The business at the Monaco
gaming tables is reported to have been
unusually brisk this season up to the
present time.
The Doughty Belgians
The authentic dispatches indicate
that the Belgians made a gallant
struggle at Liege and have so far won
all the glory of the war in Europe.
That the good burghers of Liege stout
ly defended their city against the
Germans has already been shown by
the correspondents, but additional
cases of unique heroism are coming
to light.
Recording to a special newspaper
• dispatch the women workers in the
Belgian national arms factory at
Henstal, just outside of Juiage, brave
ly defended their village against the
attack of the Germans. The men were
away serving in the army and the
women who were left behind swore that
the Germans should no: take the fac
tory. Armiiig themselves with revol
vers and other weapons, they repulsed
several attacks of the German Uhlans.
When their ammunition was exhausted
they \We reported to have barricaded
^themsefWes in houses from which they
loured IVoiling water on the Kaiser's
filers in r*>e streets. The correspond
ftates tAat 2000 Germans were
fd an^I scalded. Even children
^men 'shared in the defense oi
ich goes to show how peo
,en their homes are in
vaded and their national honor is at
j stake. Even if the Germans are given
credit for peaceful intentions as re
gards Belgium, the right seems to be
Ion the side of the Belgians and they
■ have been fighting with a spirit peo
ple show when they are convinced of
I the justice of their cause. Also, the ex
! ample of the women of Herstal may be
followed later on by other battles in
which militant women will play a con
spicuous part. Therq, seems to be a
great deal more of the warlike spirit
among women these days than there
used to he, particularly abroad. Wom
en have already proved themselves in
valuable in war as nurses. If they
show an equal ability to fight they
will make themselves well nigh indis
pensable.
Necessity of Studying Spanish
The merchants and manufacturers
of this country, now reaching out for
South American trade, would find
their efforts greatly facilitated if they
had a knowledge of the Spanish
language.
The sales department of every in
dustrial concern with its eye on Latin
America must have some one con
nected with it who writes a good let
ter in Spanish, and the American
salesman who visits Colombia, Brazil,
Argentina, or other of the Latin re
publics, is at a woeful disadvantage
if he speaks only English.
For many years the value of Span
ish from a business viewpoint has
been emphasized, and with the ap
proach of the time for opening the
Panama canal Spanish and the Latin
Anierican monetary system have been
included in the curricula of all well
conducted public schools and most of
the colleges. And the importance of
Spanish is all the more appreciated
now in view of the Eureopcan war,
when the manufacturers of the United
States have rare opportunities of
building up vast commercial interests
in the South American countries.
No language can be learned gra
matically in the classroom in a week
or in a month or even in six months,
hut a bright boy who has studied
Latin will be able to acquire enough
Spanish in a few months to give him
a working start in conversation with
South Americans in their native
tongue.
The Birmingham district will bene
fit in a large degree by the Panama
canal, and if our manufacturers are
progressive they will soon make
strides in a rich field that must ul
timately furnish them with their best
customers.
Let every school and college make
I a specialty, so to speak, of Spanish
i and let every boy study the language
as a part of his vocational outfit, no
matter what his occupation is to be,
for a knowledge of Spanish will surely
■stand him in good stead.
Germany has nad a marked advan
tage over other countries in commer
cial competition because of the . su
perior education of the German busi
ness man. Every German merchant
and manufacturer speaks and writes
grammatically four or five Inno-imc-ns.
He speaks good English, good French
and good Spanish, and usually good
Italian. The American young man
must be ambitious enough not to be
outstripped by people of any other na
tionality. But the boys in this coun
try have been particularly backward
in the modern foreign language most
useful. A year from now should fine
all this changed. Certain it is thal
every progressive boy hereabouts wil
stand high this fall in his Spanish
class. __
The Southern Cotton Congress
The congress of representative mer
from /the cotton states, and member!
of the House of Representatives
which met in Washington yesterday
adopted a report from the resolutions
committee outlining a plan to meet
the cotton situation. There was pro
vision for the appointment of a com
mittee of five members to co-operat<
with Congress, the treasury depart
ment and the federal reserve board in
seeking means of financing and mar
keting cotton “without unnecessary
loss to farmers.” AH cotton farmers
were advised to hold cotton of this
^year's crop for 12 1-2 cents a pound
The federal reserve board will be
able to give great assistance to the
cotton south. Secretary of the Treas
ury MeAdoo, an ex-officio member oi
the board, is familiar with the situa
tion in a general way, and Mr. Hard
ing is not only an able banker, but
as an authority on cotton from plant
ing to picking, from picking to gin
ning, and from ginning to selling ii
second to none. Mr. Harding will cer
tainly work out a good plan for fi
nancing the crop.
The cotton congress urges farmer
to cut down next year’s crop area. Ii
years past the same thing had beer
urged and farmers agreed to it, bu
a large area was planted just th<
same. If they get good prices thii
year another large crop will be planter
in the spring of 1915.
The Columbia State thinks Presiden
Wilson should have at least six mor
terms if he succeeds in bringing abou
peace in Europf. How about the Nob<
prize also? |
Belgium has proved herself both loy*
and brave. Her*honor is still intact.
L J -
Military service in Russia's empire of
more than 171,000,000 people is universal
and compulsory. Men are enrolled at the j
age of 20 and stay in the army 23 years, j
The service, however, is not all active.
Three or four years are spent in the ac
tive army, 14 or 15 years in the first re
serve and five years in the second reserve. |
The Cossacks, who hold their land by j
military tenancy, are subject to service i
for life. They furnish their own horses j
and pass through periods lasting three j
or four years each, and finally reach the
%
reserve which replaces casualties in war.
Russia's field army consists of three di
visions, as follows; The anr% of Eu
ropean,Russia, the army of Asia and the
army of the Caucasus. The first consists
of 27 army corps, each corps’ fighting
strength being esetimated at 3fi,000 men,
and more than 20 cavalry divisions, each
containing 4000 horsemen, including the
field army of the Caucasus and the first
and second reserves of the Cossacks the
total would he nearly 1,000,000 men. In
cluding the Asiatic army, the fighting
strength of Russia, according to the lat
est figures, is 1,850,000 soldiers. In time of
war it is estimated that Russia would he
aide to put into the field the vast total of
■1,500,000 men, of whom it Is probable that
2,250,000 could be mustered at one time.
However, lack of equipment and train ser
vice would handicap Russia In using her
full fighting strength.
Americans who profess to see a great
danger in the "alien hordes" who come
to the United States from abroad can
breathe easy for aw'hlle. Said "alien
hordes’’ are being kept at home to fight.
When peace has settled on Mexico and a
shortage of pulque no longer exists the
slumberous disposition of the peon will
reassert itself.
While the United States Senate is con
sidering 20 peace treaties, Europe Is
shooting peace full of holes.
The Germans attacked Uiege at bedtime,
showing a heartless disregard for the
habits of the burghers.
The rattle of eoal chutes heard through
out the land indicates that it isn't long till
winter.
Kaiser W ilhelm threw down so many
gauntlets that he had to use a second
pair.
The war lords are playing a game that
is decidedly more exciting than golf.
Mme. Calllaux has dropped out of sight
and #"Th> Joe" has gone to war.
SUGAR PLANTERS “KICKING”
From the Shreveport Journal.
It is interesting to note that the sugar
planters of the southern portion of the
state, who are so thoroughly in the habit
of "kicking" other folks, are now en
gaged in the delightful pastime of "kick
ing" themselves.
This applies to quite a number who per
mitted their pedal extremities to become
(hilled when tariff legislation was en
acted removing the sugar duty, or reduc
ing same. Becoming pessimistic over the
outlook for sugar, these planters sacri
ficed their lands in many instances and
retired from the cane planting business
altogether.
And now the price of sugar lias gon-e up
to a point the highest reached in many
years.
Of course, not all the sugar planters in
south Louisiana became despondent. In
deed, quite a few of them resolved to
change, with conditions, determined to
make money out of sugar despite the
floods, the early frosts and the demo
cratic tariff measure. These are the fel
lows who are now "in clover.”
One prominent sugar planter from the
parish ot' Terrebonne stated to the writer
a day or two ago that he had taken over
the abandoned sugar lands of some of
his neighbors and kin folks who had be
come discouraged over the prospects and
had gone into other lines of business. His
crop this year is larger by 1500 acres than
it was last year, and in consequence he
is going to make a real "killin’." The
expected yield is very large and the prices
are tip top. "if I can get 8 cents for my
sugar, as now seems probable, 1 won't
care in a couple of years if they do take
off the tariff,'- said this Terrebonne
planter.
Incidentally, too, it might be pointed out
that the upturn in sugar prices is play
ing havoc with the political hopes and
aspirations of the bull moosers down in
the sugar country. With the planters in
doleful frame of mind, there was danger
that quite a respectable number of them
would go off after the progressive idols,
but now that the cloud has’ been lifted,
even temporarily, the sugar planters are
feeling a whole lot better and seem to
agree that the good old democratic party
isn’t so bad after all.
Down in the Third congressional dis
trict, where the bull moosers are concen
trating their efforts at present, the indi
cations now point to the election of the
democratic candidate for Congress by a
very large majority. Men don’t change
their religion or their politics when they’re
happy and prosperous. Not much!
AN OFFHAND SUGGESTION
From the Washington Star.
"A man is fortunate when his wife re
gards him as a man whose wisdom can
always* ben depended on."
"yes," replied Mr. Crowehjr, "but that
confiding faith can be carried too far. It s
embarrassing to have your wife tell the
company that dinner will be 15 or 20
minutes late and that while they are wait
ing you will explain all about the tariff
and banking and currency."
LUKE MTjUKE
From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
Most men spend the first half of their
lives hunting for trouble and the later
half trying to dodge it.
The old fashioned girl who UBed to re
cite "LipB That Touch Lik«r Shall Never
Touch Mine" at the Band of Hope
1 Usually grew up and married the town
rummy.
There is a reason for everything. You
never know how good a man looks with
whiskers until he shaves them off.
And when opportunity does rap at the
’ door most people won’t open it because
l they think it is the collector from the
installment house.
What has become of the old fashioned
woman who could faint any old time
she felt like It?
One of the best ways to u'aste your
time Is to tell other people not to waste
I theirs.
if a hunting license would permit a
man tx» shoot craps, there would bo
• mote minting licenses issued than there
t are automobile tags.
Some guys are so lazy that they
3 think It Is a mighty poor rule that will
t w’ork at all.
I v It doesn’t sound so had, but saying
"Oh, he means well," Is about the mean
est thing you can say about a man.
. Women believe that men never notice
Jw'hat women have on. Maybe that's
•why they take so much off.
V /
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Regard I n it Theatrical Ictlvitle*
"Should the war In Europe continue for
any lehgth of time, it will have a decided
effect on the theatrical business." said
M. L. Hemon. manager of the Lyric thea
tre, "and in my opinion it will be to the
advantage of the theatre going public in
this Country, as it will keep the •stars'
and high class productions at home. Es
pecially will It he true of tlie vaudeville
performers, for every year there is a rush
to London and Paris with some of our
best attractions.
“I have just returned from the east atul
found much less trouble than in former
years in booking high class acts and nov
elties."
In the Miislcfil World
".Many of the conductors of symphony
orchestras in this country are*'on their
summer vacations in Europe, and it may
he that several of them will not get back
in time to start off with the beginning
of the fall season," said a local musician.
"I had a letter from Mr. A. J. Gaines,
manager of the St. Louis orchestra, this
week, in which he said that he had not
been able to hear from Mr. Zach, the con
ductor. No arrangement will he made
for the season of 1914-15 until Mr. Zach
returns. It* had been the purpose of the
management to give one or two concerts
In Birmingham during the winter.
"Mr. Damrosch Is one of the conductors
who did not go to Europe this summer. He
will make several short tours with hi^or
chestra during the winter season and will
mako an extended tour in the spring.
He is to direct the Spartanburg music fes
tival in April."
Business tondltlous Normal
"So long as the European war was to
come I think most business men in this
country will agree with me that It was
better, from an American viewpoint, to
start now- than a month or two later,"
said J. S. Nagle of Chicago.
"The war has completely demoralized
business abroad, and many business in
terests in the United States were tempo
rarily affected, but the Washington gov
ernment and the leading bankers of New
York and other cities have co-operated
promptly and with remarkahle success in
steadying the situation in America. Busi
ness in this country is now normal, and
conditions will he ripe for a revival of
prosperity in September or October. Had
the war been delayed a month it might
have caused Serious ^rouble at a time
when the crops were ready to move."
Vlnhama'n ('offmi Crop
"The agricultural department at Mont
gomery does not expect as large a cotton !
crop for this state as observers have been
estimating," said an ex-farmer.
"Fertilizer salesmen who keep in close
touch with every county in the stat^ tell
me that w-e will have a bumper crop of
1,500,000 bales or more, l^y guess is that
it will he close to 1,000,000 bales. Should
the estimates for the big crop be wrong,
prices may be higher, but I believe tlmt
a way will be found to finance the crop
which will enable farmers to get good
prices no matter whether the crop i»
large or small."
Fine reaches In Jefferson County
"Jefferson county's soil and climate pro
duce as fine peaches and grapes as can
be found in any section of this country,"
said a householder.
"On the premises I occupy are peach
trees that are now bearing the largest,
finest peaches T have seen this season.
My neighbor also has a tree or two of
very choice fruit.
"Already quantities of home-grown
grapes are offering in the market places
and from farmers' and truckers’ wagons.
"The home-grown watermelon is now
coming to the market. Along the Ca
haba river, in the sandy-loam bottoms,
the most luscious of melons may be pro
duced if the seed be properly selected.
"The Shades Mountain cantaloupes are
already famous. The ‘Imogene,’ a large
melon with pink flesh that is meaty to
the rind, is fhe equal in luscious sw-eet
ness of the finest ‘Rockyford.* "
Rcftfirrilrift llie Cheerful Spirit
"X have just received a copy of The
Birminghammer, the little paper printed
each month by the Chamber of Com
merce, and I wish everybody in town
could read a little editorial It contains
about keeping cheerful and hustling." said
a member of the Chamber of Commerce
yesterday. "It applies to one or two men
whom I have come in contact with Jn
the past two days and T am going to
appoint myself h committee of one to
see that each of them reads it. The edi
torial referred to is as follows:
“ Experience has proven that Shake
speare was correct when he said: "There
is nothing either good or bad, but think
ing makes it so."
" 'It is the lazy man who stands on
the street corner preaching "dull times"
and knocking his home town. If he
would find a job and get busy he would
soon learn the real cause of his imag
inary panic.
" ‘Any place is what you make it. If
your home town is not all right In your
own eyes, get busy among the live fel
lows and help right conditions. It is just
as much your duty as it is your neigh
bor's.
" 'Bear in mind that the fundamental
conditions of the country are absolutely
sound. There are more people to be
fed, clothed and housed than ever be
fore. There is more money per capita
than there ever has been. So mix a
little sunshine and hustle with your busi
ness and wrat.ch it grow.' "
lively zoo in this hotel
From the New York Times,
j One of the rooms in an uptown hotel
was transformed into the liveliest sort of
menagerie for a time. The principal per
formers were a herd of elephants, who,
strange us it may seem, wore rubber
boots.
They were taken upstairs by a Chicago
plan, and he is the only person who Haw
thorn. He had been making a round or
the summer resorts along the roast, and
captured the elephants at one of the late
supper restaurants the other night. A
doctor and two nurses had all they could
do to get the beasts out of the room
The doctor thought It strange that nc
salmon-colored simians formed part o
this menagerie.
Only the day before another Chlcagoai
brought a block of hydra-headed os
triches to the same hotel, and the man
ager says there is no reason to believi
the Increased demand for soda wate:
during the heated weather means tha
prohibition Is generally constitutional—ai
yet. A question he propounded was
Why does it remain for Chicagoans t<
discover such unsuspected denizens o
New York Jungles?
ONE POINT
From the Baltimore American.
"Jinks and his wife never agree abou
anything."
‘T beg your pardon. They agree oi
'the point that each married a fool."
Washington Post: It would be a mat
ter of pride and satisfaction if Congress
or any other agency were able to halt
an inflation of food prices as a result
of the European War. Already resolu
tions have been introduced in the House,
directing the Secretary of Commerce to
Inquire into higher food prices, and. we
have little doubt that the result will
be the production of some interesting
and illuminative statistics, with an
absence of any remedy.
The European war already has had
its effect on domestic food prices. Meat
lias taken a big jump. Eggs and but
ter surely will follow' the same course,
and sugar likewise is ascending. Every
thing that can be exported will suffer
a sharp increase in price; if not now.
later. The members who have intro
duced the resolutions of inquiry seem
to feel, however, that great interests
are at work to take advantage of the
European war. They intimate that,
something in the nature of a conspiracy
is on foot.
The argument that there are no large
exportations now and that with boun
tiful crops there is no excuse for boost
ing prices is based upon superficial rea
soning. It is true that exportations are
held up temporarily, but does any one
suppose that this condition will be per
mitted to continue, with the whole
world now demanding and depending,
in a very large measure, on the prod
ucts of the United States?
The increase in prices is the result
of a natural and unavoidable condition.
It is known that Russia s farmers have
been called to the front and that the
harvesting in nearly all of the big Eu
ropean countries is being done by wom
en and children. There will be a tre
mendous demand for the supplies of the
United States, and doubtless this de
mand will he met. The present range
of prices simply discounts the future,
when the products of the United States
will be essential to the very life of
Europe.
Commercial-Appeal: ^From Vienna
comes the news that hundreds of babies
are starving to death as a result of the
shortage of milk. Railroads have been
seized for military purposes and the
sources of supply shut off. This is mere
ly an incident of the European war, but
it indicates the existing conditions.
If babies are dying because of a lack
of milk, men and women will sooner or
later suffer for the want of food. Men
cannot fight anrl farm at the same time.
Soon the food supply of Europe will be
exhausted and the powers will have to
look elsewhere for bread.
War has its horrors. We read of the
thousands killed in battle with a shud
der. Men can care for themselves. They
know what war means. They know
what to expect w'hen they look into tiie
fire of cannon, but babies^helpless and
innocent, are being sacrificed. This is
even more horrible to think of. Great
artists have painted vividly the suffer
ing of men on the battlefield, the. ago
nies of crushed bodies in the hospitals,
the withering of souls in starvation, but
here is a feature of the war cabled to
tills country in a message of less than
50 words.
It is the strongest sort of an argu
ment for peace. It is more powerful
than the greatest painting of Vereshe
hagin.
Slender is the thread of life in a little
baby. It does not ask much from the
[world. It only desires to live. When
milk is denied the baby death must fol
lbw. Milk is a necessity. It is the vital
source of life. It strengthens the ma
chinery of its helpless little body. It
[depends in utter ignorance upon the
[adult world to feed it. That hundreds
[of babies are dying because of the
[scarcity of milk is a plea for peace.
No minister could describe a greater
spiritual tragedy than this.
Europe w'ants war, Europe has war,
and Europe must pay the cost. Some
will win glory at the expense of thou
sands of lives. Another Napoleon may
be discovered, but in doing this \var
will drain Europe of iis young man
hood. War will not spare old men and
women. War demands human life at
every hand. In the general sweep of
war babies are forgotten and left to
starve while their mothers weep.
That the war god should put his cold
and clammy hand into the cradles of
innocents is a tragedy bitter and re
volting.
In times when the country is red with
human blood there is not much time for
sentiment. That babies are left to starve
goes practically unnoticed.
Omaha Bee: If Russia is in the fight it
will have to thank Japan for invaluable
service rendered in rousing that sleepy
giant, not only to a realization, but also
development of latent powers.
Russia’s unpreparedness for the war
with little Japan became proverbial and
remains historic. But for this condition
the colossal nation of eastern Europe
would not have been humiliated before
the world by a power of relatively lllipu
tian size. Since the Portsmouth treaty
Russia has been engaged in husbanding
its resources—financial, naval and mili
tary. Today it lobms an ogre-like terror
cm the horizon of Europe. Russia’s total
war strength is 6.500.000 men, exceeding
that of any other power, and she has
snot her 6,200,000 available, but unorgan
ized. combining nearly 11,000,000 men, as
compared with Germany's 6,200,000, next
in line. In naval strength Great Britain,
Germany and France outrank Russia, but
Ruspla is dose on the heels of all but
Britain. •
Where would Russia have been, either
in land or sea forces, but for the rudi
awakening of Japan. Who can tell?
NEW MODE OF TRAVEL
From the 8t. Paul Dispatch.
8wimmlhg is more commonly thought ol
as h recreation or a life-saving art than
hr an expeditious mode 6f travel. But
comes George Galvin, a youth of 8t.
Charles. Mo., and tells us that the reason
he swam from a point on the Missouri
four miles above his home, instead of
walking to town, when he missed his train
the other night, was that he could move
so much faster In the water. He wore
all Ills clothes and was still wearing hia
hat when he reached home, without hav
ing once left the water during the trip,
How many Ht. Paul boys would undertake
i to compete ns swimmers with the Wan
derlust Hub on a hike „f four miles down
• the MlssisRippi?
I N LI C K \
From Judge.
Cynicus I once knew * fellow whe
gave a girl an engagement ring o(
opals.
Kllicua—Gracious! Wasn 't it unlucky!
I *'ynlcu»—Vou bfti It wu! Hh« married
him.
■ ■ i -A ■ A ■
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
{ , —- — t-'
THE LATEST REPORT.
’Tis said a stubborn diplomat
Plunged Europe into war;
A pity no one on him sat
Before he'd gone too far.
* A' PROMINENT TRAIT.
“I understand Dolby is ail in.”
•Not quite. His egotism still sticks out.”
A MEAN TRICK.
"Here comes Professor Grubbins. Watch
me have a little fun at his expense.”
“What are you going to do?”
"I'm going to split an Infinitive just to
make him writhe.”
THEN THET FIGHT.
“Mr. and Mrs. Twobble never disagree,
you say?”
“Never, except when they get to argu
ing as to which has the better disposi
tion.”
A VAIN WISH.
Cried Bibbles, pinched by poverty,
Alack and eke aias,
I wish I had a roll on me
As large as Neptune has!”
AS EVER.
"What does this piece of statuary rep
resent?”
“Life and Love.”
“Ahem! Love seems to have a strangle
hold on Life.”
, REALISM.
“I dreamed last nignt that I was
trapped by fire in a 36-story building and
jumped out of a window. When I woke
up I was in a net.”
“How did that happen?”
”1 was sleeping under one.” .
A SUPERIOR BEING.
The chef should be both rich and lat,
And tills is why ’tis so:
He has so many helpers that
He never kneads the dough.
ARTISTS ALL. * *
■The demist Is an artist," said
The funny Mr. Heath;
The pencil doesn't earn him bread.
But I've seen him draw teeth.
, —Cincinnati Enquirer.
The barber is an artist, too,”
yuoth waggish Mr. Lutz;
every Btory he tells you
He Illustrates with cuts."
—Columbia State.
Tlie politician’s campaign job
Is something pretty big,
For though he’s not a ditcher vet
He surely has to “dig.
—Memphis Commercial-Appeal.
The baseball catcher, you will find,
Ih very sildom grum;
With next to nothing on his mind. I
He takes things as they come.
SOUNDS LIKE IT.
Grayce married a man whose head ia
solid ivory."
"Nonsense!"
Vou know what I mean. She married
a stick."
"Married a stick with an ivory head,
eh? By jinks, she must have married a
walking stick!”
IDLE OPINION’S.
Curiously enough, some of the worsfc
mud slinging characterizes “dry" cam
paigns.
Because some men sow wildcats is why
some women sew seams until after mid
night.
People who can't understand why a
■nan wants to flock by himself never And
any company in their thoughts.
When an uppish woman lies sick abed^
the neighbors' condolences don't ring
true.
Night workers should have melancholy
dispositions, because they look on the
dark side of life. P. C.
GREAT TRIALS OF HISTORY
TRIAL IN CONSPIRACY AG AINST GERMAN EMPEROR
emperor w imam, nis iam
ily and all the leading members
of his court assisted at the ded
ication of the Niederwald monument at
Rudesheim, on September 2S, 1883. lie was
not aware for sometime how nearly he
escaped assassination, and had those
who were convicted and sentenced later
been able successfully to carry out their
scheme they would have practically
wiped out the royal family of Germany,
as well as the country’s greatest states
man.
The statue the Emperor and his suite
had gone to dedicate cost $250,000, is
known as Germania, and stands on an
eminence on the Rhine known an "Vol
ger's Rhu.”
A short time after the dedication it]
was discovered that thei;e had been a (
plot to murder the Emperor, the conspira- j
tors having dug a drain across the road
over which the Emperor had to pass,
which was filled with dynamite. The
explosives either missed fire or the cour- j
age of tlie conspirators failed them at the
last moment.
So carefully had those engaged in the
plot covered up their tracks that it was
close to a year before the German detec- j
tive force, who had left nothing undone ]
to round up tlie entire party, were able ■,
to bring them to trial. And even at that, j
the only evidence that was forthcoming;
was that given by the accused men j
themselves.
The trial began on December 15, 1884, !
at Leipzig. The leading conspirators ,
were three anarchists, Reinsdorff, Rupsch j
and Kuehler, two others, Holzbauer and j
I Bachman, were convicted as accomplices, j
and the remaining tkree tried were ac
quitted. Four counsel were employed to
look after the case of the defense.
On the first day of the trial Rupsch j
9onfessed that Reinsdorff had ordered
him to fire the mine when Emperor Wil
liam's carriage was 50 feet from the
drain by applying a lighted cigar to the
end of the fuse placed at the side of the
roadway. He claimed that he was unwilL
ing to do this, and ongr made a feint by
placing an unlighled cigar to the end.
Kuehler, he said, upbraided him for his
cowardice.
The first attempt not having been suc
cessful, plans were made to carry out
the assassination upon the return of the
Emperor from the festivities. When the
Emperor returned Rupsch applied a
burning match to .the fuse and walked
away. The second attempt was also a
failure, for the reason that Rupsch had
previously cut the fuse.
The chief conspirators were very angry
at the second failure, and when the road
was clear of people they removed the
dynamite to the grand pavilion at Rude
sheim, where a coneert was In progress.
The prosecution regarded the state
ments of Rupsch as Inventions for the
purpose of exculpating himself. On the
first day’s trial a constable deposed that
nacnman nas coniessea tnat Kemadorir
promised him pay for exploding the
mine. A tinsmith identified Reinsdorff
as the man who bought tj»e boxes of him
that contained the dynamite found att
Eiberfeld. "
Reinsdorffs bold confession on the sec
ond day of the trial compelled the judges
to frequently interfere and rebuke him
He admitted that he had persuaded (
Rupsch and Kuchler to join him, and
that he gave them the necessary in
structions as to the handling ami the
placing of the dynamite, and boldly added
that if he had not been ill he himself
would probably have committed the as
sassination at Niederwrfld.
One thing to the credit of Reinsdorff
was that he was frank enough to impli
cate himself in every way and not try
to shove the responsibility on the should
derB of others less involved. When he
had concluded his evidence he was asked
whether he pleaded guilty, to which he
replied: "I have nothing further to say.
Deal with me as you please."
At the trial on the third day a trades
man of Eiberfeld deposed that Reinsdorff
boasted that lie would do a de-d that
would make all Germany talk of him.
The trial was concluded on the fourth
day, which was Saturday, and the court
announced that the verdict would not be
rendered before Monday, and on the 22d,
Reinsdorff, Rupsch and Kuchler were
sentenced to death, and duly executed;
Holzbauer and Bachman to 10 years*
penal servitude and the other three in
volved were acquitted.
Tomorrow: Trial of "The Gentleman
Highwayman.” ^
-T». .«■ -
A SKELETON FROM 2000 B. C.
From the London Times.
Prof. Keith of the Royal College of Sur
geons has been investigating the history
of •'keleton dating from about 2000 B.
C., which was recently found during ex
cavations by J. Reid Moir at the base of
9.
the Red Crag at Thorlngton hall, Wher
stead, near Ipswich. It is the skeleton of
a 12-year-old boy. His stature must have
been much the same as the average height
of a modern boy of the sajne ago, biMi
the large size of the head is remarkabl^
Close to the skeleton was a food vessel
for the use of the boy on his arrival In
the next world. The vessel is of a type
which was only made in the late neolithic
and early bronze periods. It is decorated
all round with marks pierced by thumb
nails, a method of decoration which Is
very ancient.
Professor Keith said:
"We are trying to get hold of the people
of every period, gohig as far back as wt
can. We are trying to follow the English
people right back, beginning with the
Roman period. We shall then be able to
describe the people who lived in any
period and the changes that came oven
them. So far there has been very little
change.”
I THE BATTLE OF BLENHEIM
I
(August 13, 1704.)
By Robert Southey.
It was a summer evening.—
Old Kaspar's work was done,
And he before his cottage door
Was sitting IS the sun;
His little grandchild Wllhelmlne.
She saw her brother Peterkln
Roll something large and round,
Which he beside the rivulet,
In playing there had found;
He came to ask what he had found
That was so large and smooth and
round. y
Old Kasper took It from the boy,
Who Btood expectant by;
And then the old man shook his head,
And, with a natural sigh,—
" 'Tie some poor fellow'o skull," aald he,
"Who fell In the great victory.
"f find them In the garden.
•For there's many hereabout;
And often, when I go to plough,
The ploughshare turns them out;
For many thousand men," said he,
"Were slain In the great victory."
"Now tell us what t was all about."
Young Peterkln he cries: •
And little Wllhelmlne looks up
With wonder-waiting eyes,—
■Now tell us afl about the war,
And what they fought ogch other for."
I
"It was the English," Kasper cried,
"Who put the French to rout;
But what they fought each other for
1 could not well make out;
Hut everybody said." quoth he, ,
j "That's 't was a famous victory.
"My father lived at Blenheim then.
' Von little stream had by;
They burnt his dwelling to the ground.
And he was forced to fly;
So with his wife and child he fled,
Nor had not where to rest his head.
"With fire and sword the country round
Was wasted far and wide;
And many a chlldlng mother there,
And new-born baby died;
But things like that, you know, must be
At every famous victory.
"They say It was a shocking sight
After the held was'won,—
For many thousand bodies here
Lay rotting In the sun;
But things like that, you know, must b»
After a famous victory.
"preat praise the Duke of Marlborough
won.
And our good Prince Eugene." I
"Why, ’t was a very wicked thing," ^
Said little Wilhelmlne.
"Nay, nay, my little girl”' quoth tMig
"It was a famous victory.
“And everybody praised the Duke
Who this great light did win."
“But what good came of It at last?"
quota little Peterkln.
“Why, that I cannot tell,’ said ha;
"But't was a famous vlctary."
. i ..