The Birmingham age-herald. [volume], August 19, 1914, Page 4, Image 4

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THE AGE-HERALD
K. W. BARRETT.Editor.
Entered at the Birmingham, Ala.,
postoffice as aecond class matter under
act of Congress March 3, 1879.
Dally and Sunday Age-Herald . $8.00
Dally and Sunday, per month.TO
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Weekly Age-Herald, per annum. .00
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traveling representatives of The Age
Herald In Its circulation department.
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■without Its author's name. Rejected
manuscript will not be returned unless
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Remittances can be inado at current
rate of exchange. The Age-Herald will
not be responsible for money sent
through the mails. Address.
THE AGE-HERALD,
Birmingham, Ala.
Washington bureau. 207 Hibbs bulld
European bureau, 6 Henrietta street,
Covent Garden, London.
Eastern business office. Rooms 48 to
60, inclusive. Tribune building, New
York city; Western business office,
Tribune building, Chicago. The S. C.
Beckwith Special Agency, agents lor
elan advertising.
TELEPHONE
Bell (prlvnte exchange connecting nil
geparlments). Main 4000.
l. a false quarrel there la no true
valor.
•y —Mach Ado About Nothing.
BEGINNING THE DAY—O grent
God, brood obove Thy wnrrlng
world. Hove Thy vrny even In Ihr
midst of bottle. Lead the nations
even though by devious paths nml
mysterious ways. May right prevail.
And nut of It nil may there come
a better justice, n deeper earnesl
aess, a higher peace and n nobler
love. For Chrlat's sake. Amen.—H.
M. E.
For a Merchant Marine
It is announced in New York that
$20,000,000 has been offered by an
American syndicate for 15 of the
largest steamships of the Hamburg
American line, which are at present
tied up in American waters. It is pro
posed to transfer these vessels to
American registry under an act of
Congress just past, and this splendid
fleet of vessels may play an important
part in developing an American mer
chant marine. Officials of the com
pany resident in America have power
of attorney to sell any or all of these
vessels, so that there is nothing to
prevent such a deal from being car
ried through.
Most of the ships that may pass into
the hands of a syndicate are well
known and a few are famous. Thirteen
of them are lying at Hoboken and two
are in port at Boston. The largest is
the Vaterland, a recent addition to the
giant liners that ply the Atlantic. The
Vaterland has a tonnage of 54,282.
The total tonnage of all 15 vessels is
200,000 tons. In addition to the Vater
land other ships in the fleet are the
President Grant, President Lincoln,
Hamburg, Pennsylvania, Koenig Wil
helm II, Armenia, Prinz Eitel Fried
rich, Prinz Joachim, Nassovia, Pisa,
Graecia, Allemannia, Amerika and
Cincinnati. The last two vessels are at
Boston.
If the present war in Europe re
sults in the establishment of an Amer
ican merchant marine it will give a
great impetus to the foreign trade of
this country. Uncle Sam’s lack of ship
ping facilities has made him a rather
curious figure in the world’s mar
kets. The immense sums paid out an
nually by the United States to foreign
shipowners for the use of their vessels
has long been advanced as a strong
argument in favor of a merchant ma
rine. An unexpected train of events
may yet force Uncle Sam to take his
rightful place in the international
commerce.
Historic Old Antwerp
Now that the Belgian capital has
been removed from Brussels to Ant
werp the latter city enters upon a new
and perhaps tragic period of its event
ful history. It is one of the oldest cit
ies in Europe, and became a consider
able town in the eighth century when
its inhabitants were still pagans.
Antwerp has been a city of many
vicissitudes. Early in the twelfth cen
tury it had advanced to a large meas
ure of commercial prosperity, and 100
years later its municipal institutions
were regarded as models for conti
nental Europe. A law adopted and pro
mulgated in 1290 contained provisions
identical with those of the habeas cor
pus act of England, maintaining the
inviolability of dwellings and acknowl
edging the right of every citizen to be
judged by his peers and have a voice
in the imposition of taxes.
With the discovery of America in
1492 and the passage to India in 1497
there was a great change in all Eu
ropean navigation. In consequence of
this the cities of the Hanseatic league
began to go backward. Their trade de
parted; but Antwerp grew rapidly
and prospered more than ever, hi
1697, however, it was taken by the
Spaniards, and by the end of the six
teenth century its commerce was
ruined. In 1794 the city fell into the
hands ^>f the French, who did some
thing for its upbuilding. It continued
g French possession until 1814.
Since the settlement of a serious dis
pute between Belgium and Holland in
1869 Antwerp has grown and pros
pered steadily. It has now a 'popula
tion of 350,000. The cathedral in Ant
werp is one of the finest examples of
Gothic architecture in Europe. It con
tains Reubens’ great masterpiece,
“The Descent From the Cross.” The
inhabitants of Antwerp are noted for
their piety, and one of the church fes
| tivals lasting eight days from the 15th
j of August is observed as a general
holiday; but just now the festivities
i will give place to gloom. This will be
I a fateful time in the history of the
good old city of Antwerp.
War News Continues Meagre
The most significant dispatch re
ceived yesterday from the war zone
was the brief announcement that the
Germans in Lorraine had abandoned
the important fortress of Sarrebpurg.
If this is true, and the statements
issued in London and Paris have so
far proved correct, it would seem to
indicate that the French are on the
offensive and not the Germans. If
the French are in possession of Sarre
bourg, it is an important step, and will
give them a foothold in Alsace-Lor
raine from which the Germans will
have difficulty in dislodging them.
Reports from Belgium are again
confusing. A statement from the Ger
man war office claims that all the
forts around Liege have been reduced.
This is denied by the allies, although
the operations of the Teutons beyond
Liege and near Antwerp would give
color to the claim. Accordiijj; to state
ments in London there was no impor
tant fighting in Belgium.
The Russian mobilization has been
completed in advance of the date set,
and the offensive movement on the
German frontier has commenced. In
the next few hours interest which has
been centered on Belgium and Alsace
Lorraine may be transferred to the
north where the ability of the Ger
mans to hold in check their opponents
will have supreme importance upon
the campaign in the south.
The English expeditionary army
has landed on French soil, and British
troops are marching to strengthen
their allies on the continent. The Aus
trians were checked by the Servians,
according to reports from Nish, while
there was desultory fighting in the
North sea.
Such were the developments of yes
terday; meagre, it is true, but enough
to show the lines are gradually tight
ening for the first titanic struggle.
The Federal Reserve Board
The federal reserve board is now
organized, and is disposing of routine
business. It will have presently many
large problems to solve and as it has
wide powers, it is expected to do
much valuable constructive work.
The personnel of the board is a guar
antee that the public will not. he dis
appointed.
Among the interesting matters that
has already come before the board is
that of protests of certain cities
against the action of the organization
committee in the location of federal
reserve banks. Baltimore protests
that it was badly treated when the
committee selected Richmond instead
of the Maryland metropolis. New
Orleans protests that it was unjustly
treated when it was refused a federal
reserve bank. Pittsburg, Omaha and
other cities have protests, and the
board decided yesterday that each of
these cities would be granted a hear
ing.
When Birmingham was a candidate
for a federal reserve hank facts and
figures were submitted to the organi
zation committee whicl\ should have
been convincing, hut as it was learned
afterwards, Atlanta had been prom
ised the “prize” evert before the bank
ing and currency bill was adopted.
Some of our citizens were in favor of
getting up an indignation meeting and
submitting a vigorous protest to the
federal reserve hoard just as soon as
it was duly organized; but after con
sideration it was found that the finan
cial strength of the reserve district
was the matter ‘of real importance
and that the mere location of the bank
was of little consequence. No protest,
therefore, was made.
About the only advantage Atlanta
gets from having a reserve bank is in
the advertisement. But Birmingham
got a much greater advertisement
when President Wilson selected one of
his five appointees for the reserve
board from Birmingham.
The probability is that the reserve
board will allow the organization com- j
mittee’s apportionment to stand for
awhile as it is, but some practical fi
nanciers think the new system would
work better if there were only four re
gional banks instead of 12. After the
board has been in harness for a year
or more it will not be surprising if it
reduces the number of regions to four,
with reserve banks situated as follows;
New York, Chicago, St. Louis and
San Francisco.
Congress will probably remain In ses
sion right up to December. Members
ol the House who desired to spend a
few weeks in campaigning in their re
spective districts will have to let the
eleilions take care of themselves. Two
or three weekB ago It looked as if
adjournment would bo leached early
In October, but all that Is changed. The
war in Europe has done it.
Anna Held says the report that she is
to marry a prince was nothing but un un
authorized press agent's yarn. Congrat
ulations, Anna.
1
Fruit growers of the United States will
suffer If there is a continuation of the
general war in Europe. Figures compiled
by the department of commerce show
that in the year ending June 30 fruit to
the value of $33,000,000 was shipped abroad.
The greater part was consumed by the
countries that are now’ at war. American
fruits have been steadily increasing in
popularity abroad. Oranges, apples and
dried fruits have been bought in large
quantities and at good prices. Apples are
the most popular American fruit in Euro
pean markets. East year apples shipped
abroad brought $6,500,000, and dried apples
brought^ $2,630,000. American prunes are
also in groat demand as a dessert for Eu
ropean tables. Shipments last year
amounted to a total of $-1,666,000. The ex
ports of dried apricots were valued at
$1,940,000. Raisins exported amounted jfto
$1,000,000. American canned fruits are also
growing in favor among European con
sumers. Shipments last Vear brought
$4,900,000. Both California and Florida
oranges are being sold abroad in larger
quantities every year. The total sale of
these fruits last year amounted to $3,825,
000. The year before it was $3(00,000.
Pears shipped abroad from this county
were sold for $1,403,000. A total of $717,
0(0 was paid for berries of various kinds.
Unclassified fruits of various kinds
brought $3,000,000.
Moving pictures' are said to be demor
alizing the South sea natives, who will
pawn their last possession to see a pic
ture showr. “Movie” melodramas so
work upon the emotions of the simple
islanders that they take part in holdups
in which there is no make believe.
If Mr. Bryan sticks to his determina
tion to stay off the Chautauqua circuit
during the present trouble in Europe, it
may be a long time before he gets an
other lecture fee.
A Babylonian tablet blames Noah for
the downfall of man. There may be some
question as to what caused man to fall,
but there can be little doubt that he fell
and fell hard.
A claimant to the throne of France Is
a taxi driver. When this war Is ended
there may be a great many members or
royal families compelled to w'ork for a
living.
A dispatch from abroad states that
people are becoming so upset by the -yvar
that they no longer dress for dinner in
some of the fashionable hotels and the
Duchess of Westminster took dinner re
cently in a tea gown. What horrors war
brings in its train!
In the olden days when two nations
wanted to fight, they declared war and
went at it. Now they have to issue an
ultimatum or so, establish a censorship,
place the blame on the other and sit back
and wait for some benevolent country to
offer mediation.
Bryan proclaimed Wilson's watchful
waiting policy eminently successful, but
as yet none of Europe's warring factions
seem inclined to adopt it.
If .lack Johnson joins the French array
It’S a 10 to 1 shot that he will demand
a fat guarantee with a potion of the
gate receipts.
Married men In Canada have to get
their wives’ consent before they can en
list. Thousands of patriotic wKjps are
saying yes.
According to tne latest dispatches, the
Kaiser is beginning to look serious. He
w’ould even be justified in viewing with
alarm.
Eord Kitchener predicts that the war
in Europe will last 18 months: That’s
long enough to change the map of Eu
rope.
Militnnt suffragettes in England are
keeping quiet with a heroism that can
not be too highly commended.
One horrible aftermath of the W'gr will
be that we will have to listen to American
tourists tell about it.
Knowing what is expected of her, Faiis
will make a heroic effort to set the styles
in spite of the war.
News from Oyster Bay manages to get
into the papers, but sometimes it’s a tight
squeeze.
NOT AN OMISSION
From the New York Globe.
Mrs. Benton tasted the savory morsel
she had carefully compounded in the
chafing dish and looked at her husband
somewhat apprehensively. Then she said;
“Some how it don't taste just as Mrs.
Mink's did the other night. Yet I thought
I remembered the recipe all light. I sup
pose 1 must have left something out.”
Mr. Benton tasted reflectively.
“I don't think so,” he remarked.
Mrs. Benton’s face brightened visibly.
Then her husband continued:
"There’s nothing you could leave out,”
he said, “that would make it taste like
this, it's something you’ve put in; ’
BURYING THE DEAD
From the Louisville Courier-Journal.
In the twentieth century, in king-cursed
Europe, where the common people are
hanged upon the gallows of taxution for
support of unnecessary and indefensible
war, the crematory follows the flag.
LUKE M’LUKE SAYS
From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
The trouble with a woman is that when
she is crying you don’t know whethes to
sympathize with her or congratulate her.
The trouble with advice is that every
man carries a different brand for his own
use.
AVhen a princess is inflating the fellow
j witli a line of talk about what refined
j people her parents are, father always
I makes It his business to stroll into the
j front room and spill the beans by re
marking: “I Jist snuk in to ask ya w’hat
1 ya did with them brushes I got to clean
the sut out of the stove pipes.”
Men do not pay much attention to the
color of the clothes a girl is wearing. But
they never overlook a curve.
Some men are born ugly and others
Brow a Scotch terrier set of whiskers.
We may be flnnicky. But any woman
who weighs more than 200 pounds has no
business going out on the street wearing
a pair of those baby doll oxfords.
The old-fashioned woman who used to
tiin\ her own hat now has a daughter
who trims her husband for her hats.
I don't care who he is, any man would j
do things for a strange girl that he
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
An Excellent Board
"Business men and especially the
bankers of the east, so far as I hear,
are greatly pleased with the make-up
of the federal reserve board,” said S.
W. Sommers of Boston.
"I spent two days in Washington
last week and everybody I met there
spoke in high terms of the reserve
beard’s personnel. Mr. Warburg had a
national reputation and of course he
is recognized as an especially strong
man from a banking viewpoint; but it
is being said now that Mr. Harding
of Birmingham as soon as he has been
long enough iiy the public view to dem
onstrate his ability, will stand second to
none. Mr. McAdoo, Mr. Williams, Mr.
Delano, Mr. Miller and tyr. Hamlin, the
other members, are all known to their
friends as men of strong ability. Mr.
Delano has been known by reputation
for several years as one of the best
railroad men in the United States. The
business interests of the country are
certainly fortunate In having such a
pick of well equipped men to consti
tute the federal reserve board.”
How Long; Will the War Lnwtf
"Field Marshal *Lord Kitchener, now
Great Britain’s secretary %f state for
war, was quoted a day or two ago as say
ing that the conflict now in progress
would last 18 months," said J. H. Gilpin
of Philadelphia.
"1 have always considered Lord Kitche
ner uncommonly grave and as the last
person in the world to perpetrate a joke
or indulge in humor. Still, he may be
something of a joker. One never can tell.
Of course, a man of Kitchener's exper
ience—he is one of Great Britain's suc
cessful generals—would have a better idea
of everything relating to war than the
average layman. If Kitchener did mean
what he said, oiv what he is said to have
said, he will find it to be a mistake. I am
no prophet; but I would be willing to
wager something on .the prediction that
the nations now at w-ar will be suing for
peace before November 1."
As to the Word Nation or Country
"A friend of mine insists that because
Prussia is a kingdom it is right to speak
of it as a nation or a country,” said
a professional man, "but he Is mistaken.
"He had looked up the definition of
‘country’ in an unabridged dictionary;
but when it comes to the application of
a commonly used word like that, we must
go largely by custom. Prussia, while ex
ercising a great deal of autonomy, as a
part of the German empire, that kingdom,
like the kingdoms df Bavaria, Saxony and
Wurtemberg, and like the grand duchies,
principalities and Hanse towns, are ab
sorbed in the great empire. Hence we
speak of the empire as a nation or coun
try. In America Alabama and 47 other
states have a large measure of autonomy,
Lint they are a part of the nation or
•ountry styled the United States.
‘‘The present war may result in the
Serman empire being turned into a re
public. In that event Prussia would still
bo a state of the republic; but looked at
nationally, the whole confederation would
be the country, just as the empire is
today.”
Delightful Mimic
"Before the Tutwiler was opened we
were promised fine music there, and our
music lovers have not been disappointed,”
said an old member of the musical set.
"A few hotels in the north have larger
orchestras, but no six-piece organization
such as that at tlie Tutwiler could be more
satisfactory. .It gives delightful music. I
am particularly glad to know' that nearly
all the ‘requests’ are for compositions of
artistic merit and that virtually no trivial
stuff is called for now. The Wiegands,
tw’o brothers, pianist and violinist, furnish
the orchestra, und they are not only high
class players, hut they are most obliging.
They have an immense library of classic,
semi-classic and good popular music, anti
they are alw'ays ready to play any com
positions on request.
"During the winter season the orchestra
will probably be augmented, but whether
it is or not, music lovers ran count upon
hearing,,excellent programmes excellently
rendered.”
Southern Mnnu far direr*
The Southern Railway company,
through its publicity bureau, keeps the
public well supplied with information
tending to promote trade. Several circu
lar letters have been Issued from the of
fice of the assistant to President Harrison
recently on the development of the south’s
trade with I>atin-Amerloa. Only yester
day a Southern railway letter came,
dated Chattanooga, which w'ill be of con
siderable interest in this section. It is
as follows:
"Southern manufacturers will be inter
ested in the announcement made by Mr.
C. L. Chandler, South American agent
for the Southern railway and affiliated
lines, that the director general of public
works at Santingo, Chile, has established
an office for the collection of catalogues,
price lists and circulars of construction
material, also data concerning improve
ments in construction material and meth
ods.
"This bureau will be frequented by the
official Chile engineers and architects as
w’ell os by private contractors. Cata
logues, circulars and quotations should
bo sent to La Direction Jeneral de Obras
Publicas, Santiago, Chile. All such mat
ters should be In Spanish language, and,
if possible, weights and measures in the
metric .system and prices in the Chilean
currency. In the opinion of Mr.-Chandler
the move is one of importance to south
ern manufacturers generally, as it will
give them an opportunity to place theic
products before an open court where ma
terials will be judged on their merits en
tirely, and that on this ground American
manufacturers should easily outstrip
their European rivals.”
FAIR EXCHANGE
From Answers.
The military maneuvered. All afternoon
the attackers had attacked and the de
fenders defended, wdth conspicuous lack
of incident or bravery. Operations were
beginning to drag horribly when the white
flag went up.
The officers in command of the attack
ers started in amaaement.
"A flag of truce!” he exclaimed. "What
do they want?”
The sergeant-major endeavored to cover
*up a rfhik.
"They say, sir," h* reported, "that, as
it’s tea time, they’d like to exchange a
couple o’ privates for a can of condensed
milk—if you can afford it!” '
SHE HAD A KIND HEART
From the New York Weekly.
1 Tramp—Please, mum, I ain’t had a full
stuminick for three weeks.
Housekeeper (benevolently>-Too bad!
Well, you go somewhere and beg a meal
of dried apples, and * will furnish the
water.
. K
WAR ECHOES
Chicago Tribune: If the great loan to
France, as to which the government has
been Interrogated by New York bankers,
means that our American gold Is to be
fed into cannon, then it should be dis
couraged and if possible prevented. Since
European governments have seen fit to
throw their wealth into a universal bon
fire let us keep our own out of the
flames. That will best serve our own right
of self-preservation.
On the other hand, if great loans to
France or any of the belligerents mean
merely the establishment on this side of
great credits against which they may buy
our goods, they are to be considered in
a very different light.
The ends of the United States are peace
and trade, the shortening of the war, the
restoration of normal proceifees of human
intercourse. We believe not only the gov
ernment but the great powers in finance
and business will co-operate patriotically
to those ends.
Baltimore Sun: An “unusual and signifi
cant activity” in the fashioning of new
devices for naval war, which may surprise
H. G. Wells and would stagger Jules
Verne, could he return to life, is disclosed
on almost every page of the Naval An
nual for 1914, just published.
Of all the new weapons described, none
Is more devilish than the Leon torpedo
mine, which is being manufactured by a
British firm. The engine is so constructed i
that It can be set to hover between any
depths below the surface that may be
desired. When placed in the water it has
a slight negative buoyancy and sinks until
automatically a propeller is brought into
action, which drives it upward again.
It can be used in the open sea by any
type of ship, or, in the case of tidal har
bors, it could be released by a vessel out
side so as to make its way with the tide
into the anchorage and perhaps destroy
shipping there. A touch on the deadly
steel "whiskers” which project from its
upper surface and the enemy would be
sent to tiie bottom as were the Hatsuse
and the Petropavlosk in the Russo-Japa
nese war.
Cleveland Plain Dealer: Scarcely more
than a week after her declaration of war,
Great Britain definitely announced that'
the Atlantic ocean was cleared of her ene
mies, and safe to commerce. No battle
was fought. There was not even any
chasing of hostile warships. The mere
majesty of the name of the British sea
power seems to have been sufficient.
Freighters or passenger liners flying the
French, Belgian or British flag may now
resume their usual voyages without fear
of molestation. The ships of the United
States, the Netherlands, Italy and other
neutral nations were never in danger.
Thanks to Britain's unquestionable sea
supremacy, American exporters may new
assume the serious business of supplying
Britain and her allies with the supplies
of which they are in need.
Even though British soldiers may take
no important part in the early stages of
the war, England has already rendered
great assistance to her allies. She has ab
solutely relieved France of her fear of a
naval attack by Germany, and has left
the republic free to devote its whole at
tention to repelling the invasion by land.
Almost without firing a shot the Ger
man fleet has been bottled, and it may re
main useless throughout the war. And at
any time Britain’s fleets may strike a
crushing blow from the North sea, from
,the Mediterranean or even from the Bal
tic.
The guarding of the Atlantic trade
routes is the service which is of most im
portance from an American standpoint.
The American, who is not swayed by sym
pathy for either side in the European con
flict, may well he pleased with the achieve
ment. It tends to remove still further
from the United States the evil effect of
the great conflict of nations;
Memphis Commercial Appeal: Just now
when every puff of wind is laden with a
war rumor, when international complica
tions follow each other thick and fast
until Europe is a mighty war map, and
when men’s minds run to things patriotic |
at home and abroad—just now is a fitting 1
time to revive the effort to have Con-1
gress enact a law against the desecration
of our flag.
And by desecration fs not meant only
the wanton disrespect of using it for ad
vertising purposes. The flag represents
to us the very heart of the government,
its fostering care and ever-ready protec
tion of us. It is to our patriotism what
the cross is to our religion—its sign and
symbol—and the reverence we give it
should be second only to that we extend
to the emblem of the sacrifice on Calvary.
The bill that is now before Congress
covers all points that should mark our at
titude toward the Stars and Stripes. The,
bill provides that: “Any person .6r per
sons, corporation or company who shall
use the flag or coat of arms of the United
States, or any pattern, imitation or repre
sentation thereof, either by printing there
on or attaching thereto any advertisement
or device for the purpose of gain or profit,
I or as a trademark or label, or w ho shall
I imitate or represent the flag or coat of
arms of the United States for an adver
! tisement, trademark or label shall be
guilty of a misdemeanor.
“Also that any person or persons who
shall tear down, trample upon or treat
with indignity or wantonly destroy the
flag or coat of arms of the United States
shall be guilty of a misdemeanor.
“Violation of any of the provisions of
the act is punishable by a fine not ex
ceeding $500 or by imprisonment of not
more than one year.”
Training means everything. The man
who, from childhood, has been taught to
revere the banner of his country will fight
for it with more enthusiasm w'hen the
fighting time comes. We honor that
which we have been taught to reverence,
and we battle best for that which we have
come to Jove.
The school room training that requires
children to rise in their seats, or teaches
boys to stand bare-headed when a flag is
unfurled is one of those flrst-aids-io-pa
triotlsm which will bear fruit through all
the years to follow.
It is to be hoped that the bill w hich is
soon to be sent to Congress - will be
passed without any opposition that would
injure its influence. The patriotic socie
ties of the country sholud interest tnem
selves in the matter and see that their
representatives realize fully the impor
tance of the seemingly trivial act.
Special Cable from Brussels to New
York Times: It is impossible to resist
paying a tribute of admiration to the
calmness of the whole Belgian people.
There is no panic and no terror at the
near presence of the Teutonic hosts, but
sublime confidence in the Justice of “their
cause and in their ultimate triumph.
The spirit of the people is reflected in
a bulletin issued by the war office last
night. It said that the government had
taken every step necessary to defend the
country, but warned the people of the
gigantic nature of the task Imposed upon
a nation of 7,000,000 people to repulse the
attack of the Teutonic leviathan.
Everybody speaks highly of the calm
confidence of the French soldiers, which
is In marked contrast of the Germans,
as shown by indications from the letters
and the conversations of prisoners. They
have no heart in the war, forced upon
the empire by the dominant Prussian mil
itary casta. ,
' <
•i . .
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES I
NOT WELL INFORMED,
"This is a queer town.”
"Why so?”
"I don't think I was ever in a place j
where people had a more superficial
knowledge of baseball.”
FEMINISM.
"Fine baby you have there.”
"Yep.”
"Boy or girl?”
“Girl. Her mother says she’s going to
be President some day.”
SAFER OUTSIDE.
"I wish I knew the inside facts about
this European war.”
"So do I, but I'm not willing to go
inside to get them.”
PUT AWAY.
Hair is woman's glory crown—
The poets have that down just right,
But there are dames in every town
Who abdicate their crowns each night.
TOO TALENTED TO WORK.
"What is that talented son of yours do
ing now, Mr. Blowster?”
*
"The same old thing.”
"And what is that?” -
"Me.”
A MYSTERY.
Oft in the stilly night
Ere slumber’s chains have bound me,
I hear the "skeeters” sing
Their evensongs around me
And many, many times
Have said, "It doth astound me
How, with my windows screened.
The darned things ever found me!”
LOOKING FOR BUSINESS.
"There were 40 automobiles at the sta
tion when I got home.”
"You don’t tell me! All filled with your
friends?”
"No. They were taxicabs.” s
THAT BOX AGAIN.
The boy stood on the burning deck;
Whence all but him had fled. '
For he thought to get clippings by the
peck
Of what the papers said.
—Florida Times-Union.
The boy stood on the burning deck, ;|
He made no move to go; >
He stood there till they made the film ?
For the moving picture show. i
—Allentown Democrat.
The boy stood on the burning deck, 1
And did not sag a bit; '\
The boy stood on the burning deck, j
It was too hot to sit. 5
—Houston Post.
The boy stood^on the burning deck, |
And very calm was he, ]
But hardly cool, for that, by heck,
Could not ffi reason be. if
MANY IMITATIONS. §
“Well, I must say Geraldine is all girl.
“Nearly all girl. She’s as genuine us yoi
see nowadays." J
A SURE SIGN.
That summer time is on the wane I!
We cannot doubt, because j
The hats of wrhich we once were vain jj
Are now but seedy straws.
IDLE OPINIONS.
Hope is the only asset some men have,
but that’s enough.
As long as a man believes in himself
it doesn't really matter whether other
people believe in him or not.
Many a man gives up his seat to •*
pretty woman in a trolley car who habit
ually occupies the only comfortable chair
at home. ?
People w’ho pride themselves on being
exclusive warm up to the passing stranger
when their motor car breaks down.
You can’t always tell a man's habits
by the sort of clothes he wears. Some
men wear overalls who never work. 'J
Some women are so kindhearted that
they always give the tramp at the door
something, if it s only a compassiona^*
look. p, c.
....TT_TTTTTTTTTH ■»»!■!■ IIIHI— ^B
GREAT TRIALS OF fflSTORY I
TRIAL OF CAPTAIN DYSON
V W V « H F M tha «r>i v n f 1010 W... /) npn. I«>* < I < .1 1 j i. i... ■ . . - H
\X/ gressed for sometime, and gener
ally with unsatisfactory results
to the British arms, that government de
termined that the best way to bring a
speedy conclusion was to strike the heart
of its enemy by attacking the large cities
along the coast.
The first of these expeditions under the
command of Gen. Robert Ross, who had
served under Wellington in Spain, and
had stood by the side of Sir John Moore
when that hero fell at Corunna, reached
the Chesapeake early in August, 1814. The
army consisted of 3500 veterans and about
1000 marines.
For months there was a fear that
the city of Washington would be attacked,
and the President had urged the second
Secretary of War, John Armstrong, to
prepare for defense, but the latter, with
singular dilatoriness, had done nothing.
Finally the British made an advance
on Washington, and on August 24 the bat
tle of Bladensburg was fought, the Amer
ican army defeated and the capital of the
United States, at the mercy of the enemy.
That same night the city was entered,
sacked and the torch applied.
Someone had blundered, and a scape
goat was found in Capt. Sam T. Dyson of
the corps of artillery. He was accused
of cowardice and of having ran away from
his post of duty. He was directed to ap-~
pear before a general courtmartial, held
in Washington early in November fol
lowing to answer to the following charges:
1. Violating the fltfy-second article of
the rules and articles for the government
of the armies of the United States.
2. Conduct unbecoming a gentleman.
At the trial it was charged that Dy
son, upon the approach of the enemy, ran
away; that he shamefully abandoned his
post and cast away and destroyed his
arms and ammunitlou. That he dis
mantled the fort; that he made no attempt
to defend the-same, and he was charged
with being "drunk and intoxicated" while
on duty.
The courtmartial was presided over by
Brigadier General Smith, who had com
mand of the militia of the District of
Columbia. The sessions w’ere most spir
ited, for while Dyson was no doubt guilty
of the charges preferred againgt him, he
was not wholly to blame.
President 'Madison flowed great in
compelency in the handling of the affairs
of that trying period. When the Presi
dent found Armstrong neglecting his duty,
and that Washington had not been made
effective to resist an attack, he appointed
Gen. William H. Winder to command the
defense. Winder possessed little military
ability. He w'as willing, however, and
had collected an army of 600 regulars and
1500 militia, but it was not expected that
they co\ild withstand an attacking party
of 4500 men, with no defensive works and
with insufficient stores and ammunition.
If Dyson was guilty, Winder w'as even
more so, and yet it w’as the latter’s
general orders that brought Dyson to a
courtmartial. After the evidence at the
trial had all been submitted, the court,
after due deliberation, found that Dyson,
when he found an enemy was approach-'
- -. v v. iuiiioe.il wiuic uit'iii, ami
shamefully abandoned the fort and poet
which he then and there commanded, and
which it was his bounden duty to de
fend.”
They also found him guilty of casting
away and destroying the fort'B arms and
ammunition; and of dismantling and de
stroying Fort Washington, without any
attempt to defend the same. Although
they found him guilty of conduct unbe
coming an officer on all the charges, they
found .him not guilty of conduct unbe
coming a gentleman. The sentence that
they imposed was that he should be
Jlsmissed from the service of the United
States, of which sentence the major gen
eral commanding the district fully ap
proved. The court was dissolved on No
vember 17, 1814.
Tomorrow; Trial of "Holiest Jack”
Felton. i
A HUGE BRIDGE '*■
From the Chicago Journal. *
In the erection of the Quebec bridge
across the St. Lawrence river, which will
have the greatest span in the world, over
30,000 tons of steel are to be assembled
In three spans of a combined length of
!830 feet, 150 feet above the water. The
river is 200 feet deep, with a tide of 18
feet and a current of eight miles an
hour. Pieces weighing 185 tons and com
pound members nearly 300 feet long,
weighing more than 1200 tons, are to he
handled In midair and assembled and
maintained with precision. Two can
tilever arms must be built out self-sup
porting for 680 feet beyond their piers and
remain exposed for months to the se
verest storms, and a 640-foot double track
i,000-ton railroad span must be built at a
distance, floated to the site, raised 150
feet and connected to them with great
speed and accuracy.
THE SIMPLE LIFE
FroAl the Pittsburg 'Chronicle-Telegraph.
"Ma, hatter lock up the bathroom and
get out the old wooden tubs.”
"Why, pa-"
"And hide the phonograph and those $7
records." 0
"For goodness sakes-” 5]
‘-And while you're at It you’d better put
away your fancy dishes and get out those
old blue things you hate so.” f?j
"What's getting into you, pa?"
"We've got a few summer boarder*
coming here from the city, and we've got
to give 'ejn the sort of country life they^
expert.”
ix BASHFUL KENTUCKY
From tile Winchester (Ky.) Democrat. I
Over at Paris recently the chief of po
lice ordered a woman In a "stay in the
shade dress” to put an more clothe*. She
was traversing the platform of the sta
tion, a stranger. She replied that *h*
didn't have any metre with her, where- y
upon the chief went home and got one of H
ills wife's petti-skirts, and, taking It to I
the offender, demanded that she put it on.(I
lie was obeyed, and the woman went on I
her way. The city council allowed him I
12.50 payment for the skirt. £
THE STAR-SPANGLED BANNER
By Francis Scott Key. Tune: “Anaecreo n in Heaven." 'a
OSAY, can you see by the dawn's early light, \
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming? |
Whoso broad stripes and bright stars .through the perilous fight, '$
O’er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming? ;
And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air. f
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there. /
O! say, does that Star-spangled banner yet wave ;
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?
On the shore dimly seen through the mists of the deep. |
Where thc^foe's haughty host, in dread silence reposes; u
What is that which the breexe, b’or the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses? *i
Now- it catches the gleam of the morning’s first beam.
In fully glory reflected now shines In the stream.
’Tis the Star-spangled Banner* O long may it wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
And where is that band who so vatmtlngly swore,
That the havoc of war and the battle’s confusion,
A home and a country should ledve us no more?
Their blood has washed out their foul steps’ pollution, • \
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave,
And the Star-spangled Banner in triumph doth wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
O! thus be It ever when freemen shall stand
BePween their, lov’d homes and the wav's desolation:
Btest with victory and peace, may the Heavn’ rescyed land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation!
Then conquer we must, when oifr cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."
And the Star-spangled Banner in triumph doth •'wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brgval !
. . V *