The Birmingham age-herald. [volume], August 25, 1914, Page 4, Image 4

About The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950

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THE AGE-HERALD
K. W. BARRETT.Editor.
Entered at the Birmingham, Ala.,
postoffice as second class matter under
act of Congress March 3, 1879.
Dally and Sunday Age-Herald . 18.00
Dally and Sunday, per month.70
Dally and Sunday, three months. 2.00
Weekly Age-Herald, per annum. •“«
{Sunday Age-Herald.
A. J. Eaton, Jr., O. E. Young and W.
H. Overbey are the only authorised
traveling representatives of i he Age
Herald In its circulation department.
No communication will be published
without Its author's name. Rejected
manuscript will not be returned unless
stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
Remittances can be made at current
rale of exchange. The Age-Heral u
not be responsible for money sent
through the mails. Address,
THE AGE-HE it ADD.
Birmingham. Ala,
Washington bureau. 207 Hlbbs build
,nEuropean bureau. 0 Henrietta street,
Covent Garden, Dondon. _i
Eastern business office. 4.,
JO. inclusive, Tribune building. New
York city; Western business off)ce,
Tribune building, Chicago. The i. •
Beckwith Special Agency, agents
eign advertising.
telephone
Bell (private exchnnge connecting nl
department*!. Mnln 4110(1.
I do believe.
Mntint though I nm none, nor like to he,
That thl* will prove n wnr.
—Cymbellne.
BEGINNING THE DAY—Help me,
(> my God, to write my*elf in nome
thlng more enduring thnu mere
atone. Mny my flfe grave Itself In
(hr henrtn of men, whom Thou shnlt
enable me fn love nml 1o help. Grant
me to lrnve behind me n monument
of good deed* nml gentle thought*.
In Christ'* nnme. Amen.—H. M. E.
Why England Fights
E. Ashmead Bartlett, war corre
spondent of the London Daily Tele
graph, contributes to that paper some
interesting opinions about the present
war in Europe. “We have not en
tered into this war to hold back the
German invasion of Belgium and
France,” says Mr. Bartlett. “We en
tered into it to obtain the lasting peace
which will remove forever from our
shores and from the frontiers of our
allies the constant dread of a sudden
invasion, and which will enable us to
curtail in a drastic manner the im
mense sums of money we are yearly
obliged to spend on military arma
ments, expenditures which must in the
future, according to the settled opin
ion of practically all leading econo
mists of the age, reduce all nations in
Europe to a state bordering on bank
ruptcy. To obtain this result the
military autocracy of Germany must
be crushed once and for all. We have
no wish to injure the German people.
We have no wish to upset the equit
able balance of power in Europe. We
have no grudge against the Germans;
we are merely asking them to set their
house in order and to live and let live.”
To bring about this state of affairs,
Mr. Bartlett thinks, the Kaiser will
have to be eliminated and the power
of Germany’s military regime so
weakened that she will be forced to
accept humiliating terms of peace.
France will insist on the Rhine as the
line of her new frontier, Belgium
must have compensation for the vio
lation of her neutrality and England
must demand the surrender of Ger
mahy’s entire fleet since “without the
surrender or destruction of it, any
peace would be a hollow sham.”
There can be little doubt but that
the present struggle in Europe is a
“war to the death,” and the Kaiser’s
defeat may mean the dawn of consti
tutional government in Germany.
Whether it will result in lasting peace
and security for Europe is problem- I
atical. It is a trifle early yet to make
predictions. One thing, however, is
certain. Germany will 'have to be
' hipped and whipped badly before sh;
will turn over her navy to England.
Latin-American Commerce
The present trade situation in South
America is such as finds ready appeal
to the business interests of the United
States. For a number of years far
\ 6eeing executives of this country have
been alert to opportunities for foreign
trade expansion and have looked with
growing appreciation on the rapidly
increasing commerce of the countries
to the south; bht commercial interests
from across the Atlantic, by reason of
kindred customs and language com
bined with superior banking and ship
ping facilities, had obtained such a
Strong foothold as not to be easily
shaken from a grasp of this lucrative
business. Therefore, while this coun
try has developed a reasonably large
trade in Latin-America, it compares
unfavorably with English, German
and Spanish commerce in that terri
tory.
One cause of this apparent inertia
on the part of American business men
in reaching out for foreign trade
might be found in the remarkable op
portunities for trade expansion which
have been presented during the past
60 years of unparalleled industrial
and commercial development of do
mestic resources. Until very recent
years, business tqjent of the United
.States has worked overtime in an ef
fort to keep pace with quickly mov
ing affairs at home, and large capital
had found ample scope for its opera
tions in home territory. In latter
years, however, competition in thi3
country has become so keen in most
lines that the wide-awake man of
business can r.o longer ignore oppor
tunities for handsome remuneration
presented by foreign trade.
Our shrewd business leaders
have become accustomed to swift and
brilliant moves in the business game
and to rich and quick returns, but once
having acquired an important advan
tage American business interests hold
on with characteristic determination.
It will be a “slow” concern, indeed,
which can fail to appreciate the sig
nificance of the simultaneous opening
of the Panama canal and the tempo
rary paralysis of European shipping
and commerce. The “watchful wait
ing” period has past, antPnow is the
time for quick action on the part of
the government as well as shipping
and commercial interests of the United
States.
Allies Lose Opening Round
The allies have lost the opening
round of the first great struggle of
the War of the Seven Nations.
How much effect that loss will have
upon the fighting of the next few
days remains to be seen.
The censorship perceptibly relaxed
yesterday and with an unexpected
frankness, the French war office an
nounced to the world that their of
fensive movement had been repulsed
with heavy losses.
As predicted by The Age-Herald,
the German operations at Namur,
upon which the right wing of the allied
army rested, brought on a general en
gagement, and this morning the battle
is raging from Muelhausen, only a few
miles west of the Swiss frontier, to
six miles north of Lille, a distance
of over 200 miles.
The fortune of the day yesterday
was everywhere with the Germans. In
Belgium, the French and English, car
ried away by their enthusiasm, at
tempted an'ill timed forward move
ment which was repulsed by the Ger
mans, both armies being badly
mauled.
With the fighting in Belgium ap
parently reaching a crisis, the German
war office has given the word to the
armies of the Moselle and the Rhine
and as a result Nancy has been taken
and Germans dre well within the
French frontier. A German force is
advancing upon Muelhausen and it is
probable that the French will retire,
their left flank being in danger from
the army of the Moselle.
The greatest interest will be cen
tered on the battle in Belgium where
the British and French are resting
on ground which they have prepared.
With the German attempt to dislodge
them will come the struggle, the mag
nitude of which will baffle the imagin
ation to grasp.
Financiers and Statesmen
Every day brings added popularity
to the Wilson administration. In the
stress and strain of business prob
lems growing out of the European
war the democratic party has won and
will continue to win encomiums for
the business-like way it reckons with
the situation and disposes of pressing
questions.
Every President, no matter whether
he was republican or democrat, has
had official advisers of ability. In
some of the cabinets have been states
men who have shed decided lustre on
the American republic. But it is safe
to say that no President has been sur
rounded by as many high class busi
ness men as is Mr. Wilson. He him
self has shown that he is not only
a man of great intellectual force, but
that his head is full of common sense,
including what the world calls business
sense. And what gives peculiar
strength to the administration from a
business point of view is the fact that
there are in important financial posi
tions men of wide experience and
reputation in commercial and financial
matters.
Mr. McAdoo, the Secretary of the
Treasury, was well known as an able
business man before he accepted a
position in the cabinet. John Skelton
Williams, who was for sometime as
sistant secretary, but who is now
comptroller of the currency, had a
national reputation as a railroad man
and banker. Mr. Warburg, a member
of the federal reserve board, has an
international reputation as a banker.
Mr. Harding of the reserve board as
a financier and business man is sec
ond to none in this country. And Mr.
Delano, also a member of the board,
gave up the presidency of a railroad
company to accept President Wilson’s
appointment. There are other men
connected with the administration that
have been notably successful in busi
ness; but those who are mentioned
are so well known as to inspire confi
1 dence in the business character of the
1 national government.
Statesmanship must naturally play
1 a large part in governmental admin
' istration and national legislation; but
' it would be difficult to imagine such
■ a rare combination of statecraft
- scientific economy, financiering skil
I and backbone as now distinguishes th<
' democratic regime.
_ .... ..I...
| To sweltering humanity ^^ust seem
The cultivation of cotton in Russia Is
very expensive and land owners can only
succeed when they are given ample credit
by cotton firms. As a rule, these firms
advance money in the spring, taking tne
future crop as security. Last season’s
market brought a decided loss, with the
result that cotton firms were forced to
■ curtail the spring loans in 1914. It Is said
that from 40 to 45 per cent of the money |
! advanced last year has not yet been re-1
turned. The area in Russia planted to
cotton is given as 1,979,000 acres, which
is an increase of about 5 per cent over the
acreage of 1913. It is distributed as fol
lows; Transcaspia. 114,600 acres; Bohkara
territory and Tchardjuy and Kerkin dis
tricts, 158,610 acres; Samarkand territory
and Kattakurgan district, 90,040 acres;
Tashkend and Syr-Daria territories, 121,
490 acres; Ferghana territory, 1,048,840
acres; Khiva territory, 126,210 acies. The
cotton acreage of Transcaucasia for 1914
is estimated at 319,110.
Scientists say that milkweed and nettles
can be eaten. If the prices of foodstuffs
continue to soar we may get down to that
sort of diet before much longer.
The Czar is reported to have^ decorated
a Cossack for killing 11 Germans single
handed. The story, of course, didn’t
come via Berlin.
While Senor Carranza seems to be fairly
popular in Mexico City, he will hardly
prove as good a patron of the cafes as
Senor Huerta.
The German orator who proposes an
alliance between Germany, Austria and
Ireland talks like a man who is full of
bofbrau.
While war may cut down the visible
supply of silk stockings, those already
in use will probably be none the less
visible.
Banana steamers continue to reach
American seaports with a frequency that
Indicates no shortage of that particular
fruit.
Mr. Bryan says the present situation in
Mexico vindicates the President’s policy
of "watchful waiting." Still, it might be
well to.wait a week or tw’o and see if the
present situation continues.
The Kaiser will not get the Nobel peace
prize this year, but that isn't troubling
him. His heart is set on Paris.
Mr. Roosevelt drops Mr. Hinman with a
thud that echoes and rechoes through the
bull moose ranks.
Colonel Roosevelt says he has no confi
dence in peace treaties. The G. O. P. may
take that as final.
The French wine crop is reported to be
safe. A cheering thought amid war’s
alarms.
The price boosters view the government
probe with an alarm that is amply justi
| fled.
Shooting is too good for ghouls who rob
the dead on battlefields.
HISTORY IN THE MAKING
From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
Slowly but surely the German lines were
driving the allied forces back across the
border. A brilliant change made by the
Uhlans had crumpled an entire battalion
of French troops and the German artil
lery held the British infantry at bay.
In the distance a military aeroplane was
dropping bombs into the trenches occu
pied by sharpshooters. The conflict waged
for nearly an houy.
An aide-de-cainp rode out from the Ger
man field headquarters and addressed the
general in command:
"The boss says that'll be enough for
today,” announced the aide-de-camp. “Put
the cameras in his auto and take them
over to Hackensack. And tell the boys
to all be here at 8 in the morning. We’re
going to start the siege of Liege film.”
GERMANS KEEP WATCH
Antwerp correspondent New York World. |
As I wrent to Antwerp early this morn
ing a great German monoplane, with
curved wings and a fan-shaped tail, fol
lowed the railway lines, keeping exact
pace with our express train. From out
side Brussels until we were halfway on
our journey, it flew about three or four
thousand feet up. Every now and then
it passed through clouds, but watchful
eyes were in it, and if the Germans did
not know when they attacked Louvain
what the result would be, the Belgians
must have concealed their movements very
closely. The aeroplane was at one time
15 or 20 miles inside the Belgian lines. It
passed directly across the line taken in
the afternoon by the retreating Belgian
troops.
HIS GIFTED SON
From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"I don’t know what I’m ever going to
make of that son of mine,” said a prom
inent citizen of the City of Good Will
the other day. The P. C-, it may be said,
is a self-made man, graduate of the Uni
versity of Hard Knocks, etc. And It nat
urally grieves him that his son is not ag
gressive.
“Maybe your son hasn’t found himself
yet,” we consoled. “Isn’t he gifted in any
way?”
“Gifted? M should say he is. That's the
trouble. He hasn’t got a darned thing
that wasn’t given to him.”
SHE FILLED THE BILL
From the Chicago Herald.
John Sloan, the painter, was lecturing
on "Models” before an art class in New
York.
"Then there is the frivolous model,”
said Mr. Sloan. "She, unless very beau
tiful, is to be avoided.
“A frivolous model besought a friend
of mine to employ her.
“ ‘No, no,’ he said. 'I only do still life
flowers and fruit/
“ ‘Well/ said the model, looking up at
him, reproachfully out of limpid blue eyes,
•well, ain’t I a peach?’ ”
QUAKER QUIPS
From the Philadelphia Record.
Don’t envy the Ice man. He gets as
hot as anybody else.
Even the high flyer has to come down
when it comes to footing the bills.
, The people who give you a roast one
day may hand you a cold cut the next.
Tliere is nothing like a summer vaca
» tion tfl make a man appreciate his home.
[ The fellow who has his nose^down ta
the grindstone seldom acquires any polish.
1 There »s no reason why even the grocer
shouldn’t realize that honest tea Is the
best policy.
Even in summer it is just as well to re
8 member that hot words do not make
warm friends.
t
! IN HOTEL LOBBIES
_
1'nltcil SIiiIon t'lreiilt Judgeship
"There will be several candidates, per
haps, for tlie United States circuit bench
to nil the vacancy caused by the death of
Judge Shelby," said a well known mem
ber of the Birmingham bar,
"District Judge Henry D. Clayton would
All the position with exceptional ability,
and 1 am inclined to think that the Pres
ident will further honor him with such
! a promotion. Judge Clayton greatly dis
tinguished himself in Congress as a mem
ber of the judiciary committee, and Anally
as chairman, and he has been spoken of
is a possible associate justice of the
United States supreme court. His ap
pointment to succeed Judge Shelby woukl
certainly be pleasing to the Alabama
bar."
A 1)right Outlook
"Business in the United States was get
ting in Ane shape when the European war
broke out, and had it not been for the
hostilities commercial and Industrial cir
cles would be more active than at any
time in several years past," said R. F.
Warren of Chicago.
"The United States government lias
bandied the situation remarkably well,
and business conditions are now becom
ing normal again. The war will probably
last for sometime, but there is a general
feeling in Chicago that American pros- j
perity will not be materially interfered
with. There was more business activity
in evidence last week than there was the
week before, and J believe that by the
middle of September or October 1 at the
latest this country will he enjoying a gen
uine boom.”
A Birmingham Official Talks
"I think The Age-Herald should start
a boom for Birmingham as the proper
place for the peace parleys of the Euro
pean nations when they And they have
spilled enough blood," said Scudder Ryall,
secretary of the city commission, yester
day. ’ 1 don't think there is a doubt but
what the peace parleys will be held in
this country, for there will be no other
neutral place to go, and Birmingham
might as well have the advertisement as
SmithviHe, Ark., or Podunk, Mont.
"It looks-to me as^f the Germans were
going to push through and take Paris,
the French pass on and take Berlin, while
Russia and Austria stand and growl at
each other and the rest perform acrobatic
stunts of various kinds. Then after they
have come to a dead fall, they'll ship
their envoys over to the United States and
let them sign a treaty, I have my doubts
as to whether any of tile nations at war
are going to gain a decided victory."
Shoe* Will Advance in Price
"The price of shoes, particularly the
finer grades, will advance still further
without reference to war,” said J. D. Col
lins,
"Tlie supply of hides Js not keeping
pace with the demand. Statistics show
that there is a steady falling off of the
supply of hides produced in this country.
The world is demanding more leather to
shoe the increasing population. Most of
the fine leather comes from London or
other European markets. Calfskin and
French kid are growing more expensive,
so makers of fine footwear will be forced
to charge more for their products, and,
of course, the dealers will also. There is
no substitute for leather, though some
manufacturers do use other things in
their Tendings/ but no first class manu
facturer does.
"Competition for years made cheap
shoes; in fact, too low in price, all things
considered. That day Is past, and we
may look for a steady advance for some
years in footwear. Canvas may delay it,
in some goods, but real leather products
are bound to climb to higher prices by
reason of the demand and the supply of
hides.”
The Capitals of Georgia
"There was a little discussion among
some friends as to whether or not Augusta
was ever the capital of Georgia," re
marked a citizen. "In 1778 Augusta be
came the capital of and remained the cap
ital until 1798.
"From 1807 until 1867 Milledgeviile was
the capital. During reconstruction days
Atlanta became the provisional capital,
and in 1877 by a vote of the people was
made the permanent seat of the state
government.”
The Merehnnt*' Convention
"I think there will be fully 1500 Ala
bama merchants in Birmingham by
Wednesday to attend the second annual
convention of the Merchants' associa
tion,” said a member of the Chamber of
Commerce.
"The fact that several hundred have
already arrived is certainly a good sign
of Birmingham's drawing power. There
will be 1000 members of the association
here by Tuesday night, and several hun
dred will arrive Wednesday. No large
gathering that assembles in this state is
more cordially received than the Ala
bama Merchants' association when it con
venes. fA fine programme has been ar
tanged for Wednesday and Thursday,
Many important subjects will be dis
cussed, and the social features of th«
occasion will be very enjoyable.”
MUSIC BORN OF SORROW
From the Chicago Inter Ocean.
There is no nation naturally musical;
it Is because it has passed through
such tribulation that it has been driver
to express its sorrow and anxiety in
its airs and compositions. Bach, the
writer declares. Is the culminating ex
pression of sufferings induced in Ger
many by tlio 30 years' war 50 years
before Bach's time. People sing “like
cowards," lie continues, to keep U[
their spirits in bad moments, and he
finds that the real countries of musie
are nearly all frontier provinces ex
posed to external vicissitudes. Eng
land he finds exempt to a large extern
from th^ occasions in which poet!
"learn in suffering what they teach Ir
Bong,” because It is protected from in
vasion by the girdle of the seas. Music
then, he argues, is not an art of peace
It originates \n strife and anxiety, no
in tranquility and concord. The over
prosperous countries, he discovers, "no
only have no history; they have n<
music.”
,a, -
THE CENSOR
From the Washington Star.
Mayor Baker of Cleveland, in defens
of a political movement that had been at
tacked, said the other day;
, ‘It's an honest movement and '
straightforward movement, and they wh
i attack it . are bb censorious as the Sea
bright old maid.
s "A Seabright old maid was talking t
a sunburned college boy on the beach, j
. pretty girl passed and the old maid said:
” 'There goes Minnie Summers. Yo
took her to the hop last evening, didn'
you'!'
" 'Yes.' said the college boy, and h
■ added politely, 'As 1 was taking leave o
3 Miss Summers after the hop it dawne
upon me-”
• " ‘It dawned!' said the old ma^it, 'Yo
» kept her out till dawn! That's what tbea
new dances lead up to I' ”
[ WAR ECHOES
Special cable from London to New York |
Times: Although Providence has given
the Dutch an everpresent enemy in the!
restless North sea and Zuyder Zee, which
have so frequently dealt death and dc- j
struct ion to the peaceful plains of Hoi- j
land, they also have in these fickle forces
a trusty friend w'hich can at any mo
ment be summoned to their assistance, as
was the rase during the terrible Spanish
invasion, when the defenders of Alkmaar
drove off its besiegers by cutting the dikes
and flooding the country.
Holland is well prepared against inva
sion. The Dutch frontier on the German
side Is about 200 miles long, and its north
ern portion could be easily defended by
the use of the numerous morasses and
bogs found in northeastern Holland. With
the plan in view*, a new line of defense
was drawn in 1874, when measures were
taken with the object of protecting north
and south Holland and part of Utrecht.
This part of the North sea coast, owing
to the lack*of harbors, is practically In
accessible, and the Zuyder Zee, which Is
extremely shallow, Is capable of being
closed by fortified works outside of Hel
der. Forty miles of the eastern frontier
is now defended by the fortresses of
Muiden and Naarden, in the center of
the Utrecht region, and eighteen forts and
batteries toward the south of Gorkum.
The intermediate stretches have been
closed by extending the canal system In
such a manner that the whole region be
tween Muiden and Gorkum can be flooded
to a breadth of four miles. This is the
more easy, as the greater portion of the
land Jn the flooded area is below the
sea level.
The Dutch, however, were not satis
fied with these precautions. The water
courses might freeze, as In the past.
Therefore, behind the Muiden-Gorkum line
seven block forts of fortified redoubts
were erected at intervals of two miles,
and also the fighting fort of Nieuwersluis.
Behind the Utrecht-Gorkum water line of
defense there are 10 more block forts at
intervals of from two to three miles,
strengthened with batteries.
A block fort is an infantry redoubt only
intended for quick-firing guns of light
calilye, and not constructed with the idea1
of resisting heavy projectiles, which, ow- \
ing to the broad stretches of water, could j
with difficulty be used. A fighting fort j
is protected by concrete roofs and iron
ctlpolas from the fire of howitzers and
mortars, and is also supplied with artil-;
lery capable of resisting siege guns.
In a similar manner the Dutch pro
tected their equally long southern front
from Gorkum to Briel, outside of which
there is the broad delta of the Maas, and
behind more points of resistance for in
fantry. Altogether the positions are about
80 miles in extent.
As it is estimated that every kilometer
requires for its defense 1000 men, about
120,000 men are required for the defense of
this region. This is the precise strength
of the present Dutch army, which should
he able to defend this portion of Holland
against a force of double it strength as
long as it is converted, by means of wa
terways, into a fortified island.
New York Sun: While the move
ments of armies are chronicled daily
with more or less exactness, the history
of the navies of the contending powers
In Europe continues to consist of ex
tended pages of silence. Numerous ru
mors and reports have floated into
print, but there lias been nothing of
real substance except the accounts of
the destruction of the Koenigln Luise
and the Amphlon. That this should be
the case astonishes no one at all ac
quainted with naval methods.
Armies operate In the sight of men,
and it is impossible to keep all their
movements in secrecy. But once a fleet
is out of sight of land, even in these
days of wireless telegraphy, no one
knows what it is doing till results
are officially reported. Most of the so
called wireless messages "picked up"
by merchantmen at sea have been on
their faces mere ^creations of that
heated imagination which still cher
ishes the sea serpent myth. Navy com
munications are made Invariably in
code in time of war and most of them
even in time of peace. Without the
possesion of the code signal book of
the sender no person can translate a
naval message. The principles applied
to the deciphering of ordinary codes
cannot be applied to this. The naval
wireless keeps its secret.
Meanwhile it may be safely assumed
that the British channel squadron is
performing the important duty for
which It has always existed. The lend
ing of the British army force on the
continent is proof that this is the
case. The German warships may not
be completely bottled up and reports
of damage wrought along Russian
coasts may be true. But while the Kai
ser's battleships are compelled to con
fine their activities to throwing shells'
into -Cronstadt and other nearby ports
no serious damage can result to the
cause of the allies. If the operations
in the Baltic could preface or cover
the landing of a German army on Rus
sian Boll these performances would be
momentous. Meanwhile the fathomless
silence of the British channel squad
ron and the landing of the first British
army on the continent speak eloquently
of the continued importance of sea
power.
New York World: American refugees
from Europe naturally have many
grievances. When they do not attribute
their hardships to foreigners they as
sail eacli other and criticise their own
government. It is always so in time
of panic, especially of war panic.
Now that most of them have been
provide for, perhaps it will not be amiss
to express the hope that their recent
painful experiences may be turned to
good account and become something
more useful tliun a memory of per
sonal discomfort and fault finding.
What happened to these people was
the sudden disruption of ordinary social
relations. Since pestilence and famine
; have been abolished, only one thing
1 remains that is capable of precipi
tating such a wreck, and that is war.
If the tens of thousands of Americans
who were caught in the recent tempest
> of European mobilization learned the
. true lesson of those unhappy days, they
should bo able to exert a powerful !n
i fluence upon their fellow citizens in
) behalf of peace for years to come.
Desperate as was the situation of
many of these • travelers, their plight
> was an insignificant feature of the
i great movement in which they were en
meshed. The real tragedy appeared In
J nations flying to arms. By that act in
Mustry, commerce, finance, transporta
> tion and communication became subor
f dinate to the englnry of war.
1 When nations devote the best that
j 1b in them to carnage, who has time to
, be humane and civJIT Who does not
hide his gold? Who is not primarily a
v •• ... , •.;•.}£'• • -i!
.. . X % . I'-L. S i - . . iilJt," .... . I tJ V '.f,
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES I
TO BE SURE.
"I suppose that sign was put up so that
he who runs may read?"
"No. It was put up so that he who
reads may stop running. Don't you see
that it says, "Go slow?' "
WOMEN.
"Do let me pay for It, dear.”
“No. I will pay for It."
"But I insist."
“Not another word. I'll pay for it.”
I can t impose on you so,”
Nonsense! I don't mind paying and
you know it."
"Well, for heaven's sake, go ahead and
Pay $or it. I haven't any money.” *
HOPEFUL.
"Dobbs is an optimistic fellow.”
“Yes. Every time he lights a cheroot
the expression on his face indicates that
he thinks he's going to enjoy it."
OF COURSE NOT.
I ve seen him stand for hours before
a Whistler.”
"Pshaw! A whole brass band couldn’t
detain me that long.”
ONLY A DREAM.
A man once dreamed a happy dreart*
That did his troubled spirits lull;
He thought he owned—strange doth It
seem—
A razor that was never dull.
WHOA!
The mule doth play a noble part
In war as well as peace;
His heels are hard, but not his heart—
Oh, mr.y his tribe increase!
PARADOXICAL.
"It seenjs to me that I have seen you
somewhere before, " said the confidence
man, suavely.
"It'S quite likely that you've seen me
before, " said the detective. "A number
of times I’ve been close behind you.”
*
OUGHT TO FIGHT 7*
“I’ve been walking by here every day
for a week expecting something to hap
pen, but nothing has happened yet.”
“What did you expect to happen?”
“Some sort of excitement. That barber
shop across the street is run by a man
named Gaston Fegoud and the delica
tessen store next door to it is owned
by a man named Adolph Shultz.”
LEAST OF THE THREE.
Full many a man
Is sadly thinking,
“I wish I ne'er
Had started drinking.”
Full many a man a
His lot is ruing;
A woman’s smile
Proved his undoing.
Full many a man
His voice upraising,
Has -only met
Mild forms of hazing.
“Wine, woman and song’’—
Indictments bringing,
You’ll find there’s not
Much harm in singing.
HELPING THE POET LAUREATE.
The monarch Ambition
Hath harnessed his slaves,
But the folk of the ocean jj
Are free as the waves.
—Robert Bridges, poet Laureate of Eng
land. %
The Folk of the Ocean
Have gobbled all craft.
And the tourists in Europe
Are pretty near daft.
—Rody MePhee, in Springfield Union.
The folk of this country
Are not in the fight,
But prices of foodstuffs
Have gone out of sight.
—Houston Post.
The folk who are shouting,
“Let cruel war cease!” *
Arc; the kind who are giving
The umpire no peace.
A WORD TO THE WISE.
After a man has been married 10 or
15 years and his wife shows him a dusty
bundle of love letters he wrote to her
during their courtship, if he wants to re
tain his self-respect he’d better not glance
through them. Pt Qt
GREAT TRIALS OF HISTORY
TRIAL OF MRS. RYVES
ONE of the most daring claims to a
royal title was that in 186G made
by Mrs. X^avinia Jannetta Horton
Ryves. She asserted that her grand-/
father was the Duke of Cumberland, antf
her son was, therefore, legitimate son and
heir.
In 1767 Olive, the daughter of Dr.
James Wilmot, met the Duke of Cumber
land, the younger brother of George IIr,
and a short time after married her, the
girl then being 17 years of age. Their
only daughter, who ought to hare ac
quired the title Princess of Cumberland,
was born four years after the marriage,
and shortly afterward the duke deserted
her and married Lady Ann Horton. The
Princess Olive was brought up with her
uncle, Robert Wilmot, and $25,000 a year
was paid for her support. The petitioner
brought many papers and documents pur
porting to the marriage and birth, and
some supposed to have been signed by
George HI. In 1791 Princess Olive, who
had no knowledge of her royal birth, met
and married M. de Serres, an artist, who
the petitioner claimed were her mother
and father.
In 1816 Lord Warwick, being serioinly
ill, gave to Mrs. Serres a packet of doc
uments being very numerous. She in
turn gave them to her daughter, who was
the Mrs. Ryves, and she brought them to
the court for their inspection and to prove
her claim.
The case was hesird before ’ .ord Chief
Justice Coekburn, Lord Chief Baron Pol
lock, Sir James Wild and a special jury.
Man^ portraits wore brought Into court
to prove the likeness of the Ryves to
the royal fa/nily, but were not allowed to
be shown to the jury. Another paper
had it that George III was married be
fore his wedding with Queen Charlotte,
and by this marriage had children who
were the rightful heirs to the throne.
Upon these being shown the Lord Chief
Justice interposed: "The court is, as I
understand, asked solemnly to declare,
'on the strength of two certificates, comfng
l know not from whence, written on two
scraps of paper, that the maRcjage be
tween Queen Charlotte and his majesty
was an invalid marriage, and consequent
ly al1 thc sovereigns who have sat oh
the throne since his death, including her
present majesty, were not entitled to rit
on the throne. ' He concluded by refer
ring to them as "two rubbishy lilts of
paper."
The attorney general, on behalf of the
crown, after explaining the provisions
of the legitimacy act, proceeded to tear
the story of the petitioners to pieces,
showing here and there the weak points,
and in other places thc utter absurdities,
and pronouncing its folly only equal to
its audacity, lie showed that if Georgs I
Hi entered into any marriage with Han
nah Llghtfoot before that of Caroline/
neither the wdfe nor the children would
have held their peace, much toss would
have remained in obscurity. '
Thc "secret" must have been kept for
4.1 jears by seven men and one woman
w ho, although never divulging a word of
the matter, must have been day and night
writing on scraps of paper and telling
the whole stor.v. A very unlikely pro
ccedingf.
The claimant was proved to lie of an
unfit state of mind. In one letter she
offered to hand to the Prince of Wales
$100,000 if he would interview her, and
followed It right away with one begging
for help and representing herself in pe
cuniary straits. She was a believer in
ghosts anil wrote about her occult pow
ers. it was proved that she had taken*'
lessons in manuscript work and had
gone through a course of work that would
well prepare her to forgery. The deeds
were all on small pieces of paper, every
one of which no human being would use
for any transaction at all, much less one
as Important as this. None bore date of
water marks and the jury were of the
unanimous opinion of their sp trious
ness.
Thc jury were not satisfied that the
mother of the petitioner was the daugh
ter of the Duke of Cumberland. The
formed documents were ordered impound
ed by the jury and Mrs. Havinia Jan->
netta Horton Ryves sacrificed all her '
pretensions to royal descent.
TOMORROW—TRIAL OF MARQUIS DI PALEOTTI }
..... I
barbarian? The passions that war lets
loose are elemental, and fiercely so in
countries where every man is a sol
dier and dread and terror are in every
home.
It is not what war did to the Amer
icans in Europe, but what it is doing
to Europe itself that should remain
with our tourists as long as they live. I
No matter what misconceptions others
may have, they ought not to be de
ceived. They knoif that war is brutal,
and that it spares nobody. In Europe
as in Mexico, Avar submerges civiliza
tion.
It is believed that 50,000 Americans
have had this intimate acquaintance
with Avar. On their return to their
homes, will they be peacemakers or
will they be jingoes?
REAMING the newspapers
From the NeAV York World.
The wholesalers of food in New York
who have communicated to Commis
sioner Hartigan the surprising infor
mation that the newspapers are respon
! sible for high prices should be ques-1
tioned further. Perhaps the newspapers
, are responsible for the war in Eu
. rope, for the paralysis of ocean com
merce, for the deadlock on exchange
and credit and for the eclipse of the
, sun.
When no other excuse for a calamity
i suggests itself it Is always easy to
, blame the newspapers. If crime be
, comes rampant, the newspapers are
{ guilty, because they tell about it. If
official and business life shows signs
► of corruption, the newspapers are to be
► charged Avith the evil, for by them it
, is revealed. So when a lot of food
. pirates are caught red-handed, who but
l the newspapers could have put greed
end malice into their wicked souls?
In all this world there is no crime
’ so dangerous, no wrong so vicious, no
injustice so unconquerable and no dls
t ease so deadly as those which are con
► cealed. Error and vice and oppression
t are always well satisfied with things
i as they are. Their first defense when
Li.--...* ••». 'nwiijWl
exposed is not a justification of de
pravities long hidden, but an attack
upon those who have dragged them into
publicity.
In this view of the matter, newspa
pers have reason to congratulate them
selves upon the fact that they have been
accused. By that circumstance they
have proof that their work has been
well done. There is not an efficient
prosecuting officer in the land who ha.‘J
not been similarly reproached by men
who presently ^landed in the peniten
tiary.
A PRAYER
Judd Mortimer Bewis, in the Houston
Post.
God of the warring nations,
God of the ways of peace,
Hark to the pleas of women
And bid the warfare cease!
Hark to the prayers of children,
Their small hands lifted up,
And from the world forever
Remove this bitter cup. A
In years of peaceful living
.. Thy servants have forgot
The grief that follows carnage,
And now, their blood grown hot.
They challenge each the other,
And with no heeding for
The necklaced arms of loved ones
Tlfey clatter forth to war.
Oh, God. remove this mudness,
And make Thy servants sane!
Remove the fields of carnage.
Where wounded and where slain
Are trampled to gory remnants!
Our God, of war and peace,
Remove from men their blindness
And bid the warfare cease!
A wife stands all forsaken
And peers into the storm,
Above the smoke of battle
She marks the vultures swarm. a
No loved dne hears her pleading
And to her succor flies—
Beside where she stands weeping
A baby starves and dies.
God. lift the burden from them^SHf
Who bear the burden most!
God, touch the hearts of rulers!
God, turn each warring host
From ways that lead to slaughter
Back to the paths of peace!
God, hear the plaints of women
And bid this warring ceufl ^