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K. W. BARRETT.Editor. Entered at the Birmingham, Ala., postoffice as second class matter under act of Congress March 3, 1879. Daily and Sunday Age-lierald . |8.00 Daily and Sunday, per month .... .70 Daily and Sunday, three months. 2.00 Weekly Age-Herald, per annum. .Do Sunday Age-Herald. 2.00 A J. Eaton, Jr», O. E. Young and W. H. Overbey are the only authorized traveling representatives of The Age Herald in its circulation department. No communication will be published without Its author’s name. Rejected manuscript will not be returned unless stamps are enclosed tor that purpose. Remittances can be made at current rate of exchange. The Age-Herald will not be responsible for money sent through the mails. Address, THE AGE-HERALD. Birmingham, Ala. Washington bureau. 207 llibl s build ing. European bureau, 6 Henrietta street, Covent Garden, London. Eastern business office, Rooms 48 to 60, inclusive, Tribune building. New York city; Western business office. Tribune building, Chicago. The S. C. Beckwith Special Agency, agents for- j eign advertising. TELEPHONE Bell (private exchange connecting all department*), Main 4JHM). Now, one the heller; then, another heat; Hofh tugging to he victorious, hrenst to breast. —Henry VI. s - BEGINNING THE DAY—My Father, grant me grace not to de <l,|,.c llie day of Mtiiall things. Teach me flint foundations must lie laid. Teach me that the nobility may lie In how I do and not In what I do. I'encli me fhnf Thou lias; standards nf Tlilnc own as to great and small. Help me simply to lie faithful, linen.—'H. • M. E, The Farmer's Great Opportunity Fnr the last three years the farmers Of the eotton belt, have been making marked progress in the diversification of erops. The boll weevil menace ac centuated the . crop diversification movement in Alabama and several other southern states, but for other reasons the farmers were finding it to their advantage to produce in ad dition to cotton, both corn and hay on a larger scale than heretofore. As The Age-Herald pointed out a few days ago, there should be a re turn to wheat growing in Alabama. There was a time when some of the farmers of northern Alabama pro duced as much wheat to the acre as thp farmers of Tennessee and Kentucky. And with the application of scientific methods even larger results per acre can now be obtuined. The unsettled cotton market situa tion due to the European war will make crop diversification all the more important and inviting. Foodstuffs will be very high next year—higher perhaps than ever before; and not only next year, but for several years to come high prices for grain will rule. The big war will last for months if not for years. Famine will pre vail in the old world, and America’s grain must supply the wants of the foreign nations. Since the farmers, by the intensive method, are able to produce from 50 to 100 per cent more cotton to the aere than they did three or four years ago, they can greatly reduce the cot ton area and still raise fairly good crops. But the main point is to in crease the grain acreage. The farmer who has been planting 50 acres in corn and 50 acres in oats should plant 100 acres each. And in addition to these two grain crops he should try his hand on wheat. WithAfairly good weather conditions the money value of Alabama farm products in 1915 should total fully $400,000,000. The total was about $190,000,000 last year. As deplorable as the war is, it will prove of lasting benefit to the south ern farmer, for he has found that in the long run grain will pay as well as cotton, if not better. Automobiles in the War A Philadelphia concern is reported to be working night and day on* a large order of armored steel automo biles which will be used by the Euro pean nations now at war. It is alstf said that a New England manufactory of arms and ammunition is engaged in making a certain type of gun which will be mounted on these cars. A total of 1000 cars have already "been or dered by the various powers, accord ing to the report, and negotiations are being carried on with France, Russia and Greece by the automobile manu facturers. The neutral position of the United States forbids the exportation of contraband of war to a belliger ent, but manufacturers easily circum vent this ruling by shipping their product to a neutral port from which the goods can be forwarded to their final destination. When a full decla ration of the nature of a cargo is made the state department is powerless to interfere. As a result American manu facturers of army supplies wil^ doubt less reap a rich harvest. It is not surprising to learn that there is a lively demand for armored automobiles on the part of the bellig erents. ^Automobiles have already proved of great assistance in actual fighting, in field hospital work, in transporting supplies and in hurrying men to strengthen a strategical point. Being Lass spectacular than the aero 1 plane, we don’t hqar so much of auto | mobiles in the war that is now going | on, but they are being used in large numbers and will doubtless figure even more prominently in the fighting than they do now. j Armored automobiles are miniature | forts on wheels. While not able to withstand heavy artillery fire, they ■ are not easily demolished, and the speed with which they can be moved about makes them extremely formi dable. War Developments Yesterday The most exciting event of the war yesterday was the naval engagement between the British and Germans off Helgoland, the fortified naval base protecting the mouths of the Elbe and Weser rivers. While1 of no great magnitude the battle indicates that the German fleet is resting only in fancied security under the guns of the fortifications. The British warships entered the bight despite the floating mines and submarines and boldly attacked the Germans. The forts on the island of Helgoland were supposed to be im pregnable to sea attack and at the same time able to keep a hostile fleet from molesting the ships in the bay. On» the face of the reports of the battle coming through London this they would appear unable to do. Operations in the war zone on the French frontier continue, but the censors pass so little that nothing is known exce^ that the fight is going on and the allies are being pushed back. Germany says that the allied army is surrounded. As France and England had at least 750,000 men engaged it is difficult to credit this statement. However, the Germans in the recent fighting were successful and the effect of their victories can not be minimized. In the absence of reliable informa tion as to the actual fighting, inter ested military experts are speculating as to the nature of resistance Paris would*offnr to a besieging army. An interesting analysis of the situation around the French capital and the dis position ’of the fortifications is printed in another column of The Age Herald. The Russians continue to advance, according to reports. They are said to be making directly for Berlin, and it is not impossible that the Cossacks might, enter Berlin as soon, or sooner, than the Germans enter Paris. Great Britain is calling upon her colonies and instant response is being made. The Princess Patricia Light Infantry will sail from Montreal to day. Asiatic soldiers will, after all, tread the battlefields of Europe. Lord Kitchener yesterday announced that native troops from India will be used to reinforce the French. Australia’s contingent will soon arrive, while the English soldiers scattered throughout Africa are being concentrated. Declines Ambassadorship According to an Associated Press dispatch, Samuel M. Foster of Fort Wayne, Ind., has declined the Pres ident’s proffer of an appointment to an ambassadorship—first ambassador to Argentina. Up to this time the United States and Argentina have ex changed ministers plenipotentiary, but owing to the growing importance of the prosperous South American republic the post has been raised to ambassadorial rank. The salary of our minister has been $12,000. The ambassador will receive a salary of $17,500. Such positions are usually sought, but Mr. Foster has the distinction of having this high office tendered to hii.i and declining the honor. He is doubt less well qualified to represent the United States in Argentina. Such may be assumed, at any rate, for the President would not have selected him unless he was satisfied with his fit ness. Mr. Foster >s not 'n “W’ho's Who in America.” He is possibly one of those gentlemen, somewhat rare these days, who shun the spotlight. But a man ^>ig enough to be an ambassador should eventually get into the refer ence books despite of idiosyncrasy or inborn modesty. We are anxious to learn if the faithful and every-ready prune has joined other foodstuffs in trying to jump over the moon. If you happen to see a newspaper car toonist dashing off a bear these days he’s drawing a picture to typify Russia. Shooting at an aeroplane with a high power gun must be much faster sport than merely trying to bug a field lark. When Japan spoke up Bill Hohenzollern hardly took time to see who was asking t to Mb taken on before he said yes. ! It seems a shame for a wealthy tourist to come back from Europe In a cattle boat and miss being interviewed. The country is saved. “Coly” Blease will not be permitted to indict his presence on the 1’nited States Senate. The Gzar, the Kaiser and King George are conducting themselves In a most uneousinly manner. Russian soldiers are said to be shooting badly. Still, we shouldn’t like to blame it on the vodka. A little reassurance would go a long way with China Just ^ now, / \ (' The Rev. Dr. Russell H. Conwell, pas tor of Grace Baptist temple and president of Temple university, in Philadelphia, has earned $2,000,000 by delivering one lecture entitled “Acres of Diamonds." Every cent of this money has been devoted by Di Caldwell to educating deserving young men and women throughout the 1'nited States. He has delivered his famous lec ture 6000 times in every state in the union, in all eastern provinces of Canada, in every large city in England, France, Ger many and Italy and to English-speak ing audiences in Egypt, Turkey, India, China and Japan. The lecture is based on the legend of an Arab who sold his farm to go In search of diamonds. After seeking many years in vuin he gave up the quest in despair and threw himself into the-sea. The man who bought tht% farm from the Arab found diamonds there. It is a lecture on opportunity and is enlivened with many anecdotes of Dr. Con well’s experiences as a preacher, law yer, lecturer, soldier and educator. As a result of his personal efforts 84,(MW students have been given a college edu cation, and it Is estimated that the money spent by Dr. Conwell for this purpose during 50 years, if invested at compound Interest, would reach a total of $10,000,000. For 20 years part of his salary -as pastor of Grace temple and part of his lecture income has been given to Temple univer sity. Although he has been president or Temple university for 27 years, Jt has never paid him any salary. Each year he gives $10,(MM) to this Institution. The appearance of a celebrated “Diving Venus" in the "movies’’ has convinced a lot of people that diving Venuses ought to stay in the water. Jt s true that Switzerland is hemmed in by mountains and belligerents, but she' as tranquil ns a piece of Swiss cheese. Scrvia continues to strut and feel ches ty. secure in the fact that her foe Is busy elsewhere. Now that the dog days are drawing to a dose, the war censorship might loosen up a hit. -- W I Mi fatherly pride the Kaiser deco rates his sons for gallafitry at the front. The German fleet ought to be compara tively fresh when it finally gets busy. Censorship or no censorship, the war correspondents are keeping busy. WAR AMI THE CATHEDRA 1,8 From the Rochester Herald. It would he an irreparable calamity If any of the great architecture of Europe were destroyed by the present war. Amer icans who go to Europe and And sSie of their finest Inspiration there from these wonderful works of art, produced in ages when the spirit of art.-'rather than the spirit of commercialism, ruled the world. Our American cities are. for the most part, rather ugly, but many of the Eu ropean cities are very beautiful, mus sels Is a very beautiful city, and nil lovers of the beautiful must hope that no great damage will be done to It. Strassburg is regarded as the pearl of Alsace, and It would he a sad thing If the French guns did great destruction to the city itself. But one never knows what will happen when a great war breaks out. Daniel Webster once said that "in war there are no Sundays," and It may be added that there is small consideration then for those embellishments of existence which mean so much to us In the days of peace. There Is little excuse for war at the present time. We admit that it was different in ancient days, when nations knew comparatively little of each other, or even nothing at all. THE UI.OKY OK THE COB From the Ran Antonio Light. Slaves of My Lady Nicotine may rave of briar or meerschaum. Freak smokers may piate of the joys of the nargileh. The buyer of choice Havanas may chatter about the "bouquet” of his favorite pana tella and the lover of cigarettes may tell of the especial flavor of his pet brand of mixed tobacco and alfalfa. But where shall arise the poet to commemorate in adequate muse the delights of the corn cob pipe? The common or garden cob pipe of com merce is no expensive luxury. The poor • an possess it as well as the rich, and when it is seasoned Just right tlie poor man Smoking it is as happy as the rich one. Tt is sneered at by the dandy. It has no place upon the streets or in polite society, at country club or garden party. On the counter of the tobacconist it wins no handsome show case. But has anybody ever invented a pipe that tastes better, when it has been smoked Just long enough? DOWN HIS NECK From the Youth's Companion. An Ohio farmer took his numerous progeny to a county fair in that state. As tlie party moved about the grounds tlie father felt his fourth born tugging at ills coattails. He turned, and the youngster begged him to buy a certain toy. "Buy it yourself," said the father. "Where’s the dime I gave you a litti# while ago?” "It's down my neck." "Well; shake it out.” "But, father,” protested the lad, "I can’t. It was In my mouth when It went down.” LIKE M’LUKE says I From the Cincinnati Enquirer. When anything happens to a man he can’t cuss without making the air blue. But when a perfect lady gets mad she can swear with her eyes. Most of us would die from neglect if we loved ourselves as muchx as we love our neighbors. Old eugenics will have to do a lot of ex plaining before It becomes popular. You may have noticed that a man with a fact, like a camel will marry a girl with a taco like a horse and their daughter will be the prettiest thing you ever looked at. One reason why we are strong for pro hibition is because a man has no business ruining his health drinking a cool glass of beer in a saloon when he could be hiding in a back alley taking a swig out of a bottle of wood alcohol. Anyway. Adam hadn't any kick com ing. He never bad to stand for three hours on the outside of a department store while Eve matched flg leaves for her new autumn girdle^. The old fashioned woman who believed that the nJght air was unhealthy now has a daughter who hates to get home' before 2 a. m. Every now and then you meet a man who believes that he lias a monopoly on all trouble in the world. You can’t get a young man to believe that the time will come when girls will seem less important than busir.?***. Before marriage it Is mostly Bliss. After marriage It is mostly blisters. Juding from the chances taken by the girls this summer there is a chance that they may make their dresses out of ham Blocks nest trimmer. IN HOTEL LOBBIES Bright Outlook "Commercial travelers who cover cotton belt territory were thinking that their fall business would be backward," said Hugh M. Brown. "But the outlook for normal trade is beginning to be quite j bright. * The government plan for financing^he cotton crop is satisfactory to all concerned and there is not the least fear that the cotton farmer will have to sell at prices' barely enough to cover cost of production. Alabama has made a big cotton crop, and the farmers will get prices that will yield a fine profit.” BiiMineMM Improvement "I was in New York last week and found a great deal of activity in most branches of business," said Henry L* Sharon of Chicago. "In fact, New York looked as busy as Chicago, and that is saying a good deal, for we are having a large measui- of prosperity in our city. J do not n ail many years when business in A uust was so active as it is in-Chicago now.” Sympathy for J,. M. McCormick. ‘i was pained to read the account in The Age-Herald of a violent assault on Mr. E. M. McCormick, one of the most highly esteemed commercial men of Birmingham,” said a prominent citi zen. “I know Mr. McCormick and his kins men here well, and upon investigation 1 found that the assault, which oc curred on Third avenue, was most wan ton. Between 9 and 10 o’clock Mr. McCormick went to the postoffice to get his mail from a box. From the poptofTice he walked along Eighteenth Ftreet to Third avenue and was pro ceeding quietly along the avenue, w hen he was w aylaid and beat up. He was taken to St. Vincent's and was un conscious all night. He and his family ‘Stave the sincere sympathy of the good people of this community.” IHrmlnjctinm AA III Be Benefited "The Alabama merchants' convention held here this week was a great success,” said Frank F. Ellis, treasurer of the Avondale Stove and Foundry company. "it brought a fine class of men to Bir mingham the very class that we are glad to cultivate. One of my friends, a pros perous merchant from east Alabama, told me that the only commodity he had been buying in Birmingham was what my con cern sold him. He said that until he came on this trip he had regarded At lanta as pre-eminently the commercial city of the south. He had been buying his goods there, and it had never occurred to him that Birmingham was in Atlanta's class. He has a different viewpoint now. He was simply amazed at Birmingham's bigness and at the commercial advantages which this city presented. Other mer chants were doubtless equally impressed. All our older citizens can remember when Birmingham was a small town, but as a mercantile center it is outclassed today by no southern city, and in the very near future it will outstrip all southern cities in population.” Optimum of t<l 11 rltpre The nrl writer, wherever found/-has dome to he recognized as a great factor ill the business world. He or she is a person of acumen, a person in close touclt with the business world and a reasonably strong optimist. One of the most wide awake and influential organizations in this country is the Six-Point league—•'six point'’ being the designaion of a certain type that looks well on any page of any newspaper. President F. St. John Rich ards sends The Age-Herald tills rgport of a meeting of the Six-Point league, made up of 623 leading New York repre sentatives. held recently: ’* The effect of the war on newspaper advertising was freely discussed and members present testified as to their In dividual experiences. Six-Point league members do business with advertisers In tt large variety of lines and meet manu facturers and dealers throughout the en llre east, and it Is of Interest to record that the feeling was decidedly optimistic and general tone encouraging, it was shown that steamship and travel ad vertising comprise the hulk of business that lias been definitely canceled and that advertisers not intimately affected by lack of ocean, transportation were going ahead with their fall campaigns, con tracts already made are , f normal pro portions. The fact that crops are good and the market ready tor them; that the freight rate is settled; that the new currency law Is soon to he in opera tion. and that new export markets are to be open for our trade, means large wealth for the producers of tills country and good business for I hose who seek it in a reasonable manner. "It was evident from some reports that in some lines of trade, readjustment to new conditions would he necessary, but with our sound basis, tuls should not greatly Interfere With prosperity. It was the sense of the meeting that the adver tising world would he encouraged by a knowledge of the facts brought out, and the president was authorized to send out this letter to all who would be inter ested.’’ Steel Industry to Expand. "That the European war is going to have a profound effect on the iron trnde in America is liecoming every day more evident." says Matthew Addy & Co.'s Cincinnati raport of this week. "It is an axiom of history that war never leaves things as it finds them, indus trial conditions all over the world have been tremendously dislocated, but ot course it is too soon to know what permanent changes will result. For one thing, the trade here is taking energetic steps to supply from domestic sources those materials which have been com ing from abroad, especially manga nese and high grade ferro alloys of various kinds. It may be that some o£ the raw materials cannot be found here, but they can be replaced by other things which we have. It Is absolutely certain that the steel Industry here will have a great expansion. Our mar kets are going to be immensely wi dened. The stoppage of Importations of many things from abroad—for example, Belgian and German steel manufactured into lighter forms, such as cutlery, en ameled ware and a host of knlek knaeks of one kind or anottier—will lead to their production on tills sldo of the ocean. "The current iron market is more ac tive and orders are more numerous. Everywhere there Is much subdued ex citement. It Is felt that changes are in progress and that caieful study of the situation Is necessary so as to Jet no opportunity escape. The tendency of the market Ih upward and higher prices are being obtained. At the same time, production of pig Iron Is declining and a sudden expansion of demand would sisvelop a shortage." - I WAR ECHOES I New York Sun: That England goes into war today with the same bulldog I tenacity that she displayed in the Na poleonic era is plain enough if the pro ceeding in Parliament on Tuesday iare to be taken at their fare value. I Earl Kitchener in his characteristic dispassionate way talks of the war as I likely to last three years. He has “en | listed ' for that period himself, he says, land be goes on to tell the country in ; unvarnished words the sacrifices it must make. * * * it is a grim Kitcheneresque announce ment. But nobody can believe that the war will last any such time as three years. Some of the countries engaged may soon be strained to the limits of possibility. Hunger is near their cap itals. devastation is spread over their fields and death is riding along their borders. Presently they will have no j more resources with which to fight or with which to live. Credit will con tract, wealth will vanish, even fighting I men ftiust grow scarce if the carnage proceeds as in the last three weeks. The prolongation of the war for any such period is unthinkable. The Na poleonic contests might last a genera tion because a relatively small number of soldiers were engaged, Today when populations fight en masse the strug gle must necessarily 'reach an average by the limitation of its duration in inverse ratio to the expenditure of ef fort. Cincinnati Enquirer: This war of less than 30 days of actual fighting has estab lished the advantage of the steel cupola and turret in fortification work, and how with this class of defenses a compara tively few men can hold off an army for dayp, as was evidenced by the holding of the Liege forts against the three corps «>f the German army. That the German commanders knew the details of the fortifications of Liege cannot be doubted by any one aware of their thoroughness in securing informa tion as to obstacles and difficulties they may have to overcome in their opera tions. That they underestimated the resistance | of the forts at Liege seems clear from ! their attempts to take these steel-clad turrets by assault. And this is all the | more surprising when it is considered that nearly every German port and fortress Is defended and guarded by steel turrets and cupolas of similar type as those of Liege, hut of greater capacity as to gar rison. containing heavier guns and of far greater thickness of steel walls and coverings. *If the Kaiser and hia army were sur prised by the strength of the Liege forts they must have congratulated themselves <>n the strength of their own forts of that type, of which they have so many ready to resist fleets and armies at their port cities and naval bases. At every place on the German coast, where defensive works have been deemed necessary, these steel turrets and cupolas have been ereetd. and their covering is of very thick, specially prepared steel, which is said to successfully resist the impact of the heaviest guns of battle ships. These defenses may be termed land monitors, and now that their utility for \ fffensive and defense work in war has I been so fully demonstrated it must in crease the confidence of the Germans in their ability to stand off the navies of the allies. Our great armor plants have now open to them a larger field for their outputs than all tHe navies of the world com bined can furnish them. The ports of the world will now call for the armored turrets and cupolks for their security and defense, and every city : in Europe, Asia, Africa and North and South America, necessary to protect by I* defenses, will desirous of the steel clad forts. Leslie's Weekly: Whatever may he the result of this great conflict, or the ver- , diet of history as to the responsibility of each nation in the premises, the heroic figure of the German Emperor will loom through the mist of battle and his bold defiance of the powers must ever com- j mand the admiration of the world. Even the great Corsican himself never faced such stupendous odds, and future his torians may say of the Kaiser’s actions, as they did of the charge at Balaklava, "It was not war—but it was magnifi cent. " The stakes for which he«ls playing are the union of all Germanic peoples and the creation of a dominant power in the world. Years ago he said that Ger many's future lies on the sea. The great German empire has comparatively little sea coast. The ports of Bremen and Hamburg on the North sea are the only ones of Importance In the world’s com merce. The Rhine, Germany’s principal river, empties Into the sea through Mid land. Hitd its vast burdens of freight for export nuist be transshipped in a foreign city, Rotterdam. If Germany could pos sess itself of Holland and Belgium it would have a magnificent littoral on tho North sea, and in addition to the com mercial supremacy that would come from the great ports of Rotterdam, Amster dam and Antwerp, as well as several of less Importance, Germany would, through their possession, so strengthen her naval position that she w’ould have nothing to fear from Great Birtain. Her present ne^<I in this respect is shown by the ex penditure of over $50,000,000 for the con struction of the Kiel canal, principally for naval purposes. It gives her a short and safe passage for her fleets from the j Baltic to the North sea and affords a | secure haven in times of war. Its con I struction was necessitated by her lack of a strong naval base on the North sea. What sea power means to a nation is instanced by the fact that Great Britain, a county comparatively insignificant in area, and not rich in natural resources, has for centuries held the balance of power In the civilized world through the greatness of her merchant marine and her navy. Even Holland, a couple of centuries ago. was a mighty power be cause her flag flew from her vessels in every part of the world. Germany’s quest of the sea is a vital part of the plans she has for future supremacy. THE GLOOMY MAN AT A WEDDING Prom the Chicago American. One of the guests at a wedding, seeing a dismal looking young man who ap peared to be on terms of familiarity with the principals, asked: t ' “Are you related to the bride or the bridegroom-elect ?’’ “No." was the gloomy reply. “Then,'’ said the guest, “what Inter est have you in the ceremony?"* “Well,” replied the young man, 'Tp defeated candidate*" ADRIFT WITH THE ' f __ _ *■ HAPPING FATHER “Pa, mother says you ought to he a v.ar correspondent." “Your mother thinks I’m a smart man, Willie. Did she say why she thought I ought to b«» a war corre spondent?" “Yes, sir. She says it's the only kind of job she ever heard of In which a man is positively forbidden to work.-’ A SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION “There's something Uncanny about my husband." said Mrs. Wasserby. “What makes you think so?" asked Mrs. Brinders. “No matter how soundly he may be sleeping, the moment I start to 'so through his pofkets he wakes right up." “That isn't so hard to explain. Some men are such tightwads that their sub conscious minds tell them when their money is in danger." UNFORTUNATE WOMAN “Mrs. Grabscom's life is a tragedy. Her figure is never stylish." “What, never?" “Well, hardly ever. When plump ness is permitted she contrives to have a spell of sickness that makes her thin and when the willowy type is fashionable she always takes on flesh." LINGER TOO LONG They never make a hit, some men, And this is why: They never seem to know just when To say good-by. IN ACqORD "How did you enjoy Professor Dob Ler's lecture on dreams?" “Pretty well. I fell asleep and had one myself." SHOULD SAY SO Thp news that comes from Mexico I’ve little time to read: In Europe there's a bigger show With much more "pep" and speed. A THEORIST "Now, it's easy enough for a man to live within his means if he'il just make up his mind to do it," said Mr. Penwhlzzle. "How did you go about it?" asked Mr. Poznozzle. "Well, to tell you the truth, I’ve never tried It, but it stands to reason that a fellow could if he would." »••••••••••■••■••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••« THj: LAST STKaV ^ She gave th*- tramp her first baked pie A lovely thing of mince; He ate It with a happy sigh— Rut ^asn't been seen since. —Youngstown Telegram. Sne gave the tramp her second pie. No more will he now greet us: Fn some secluded spot he'll lie, The cause—appendicitis. —Painsville Telegruph-Republican. She gave the tramp her third baked pie^ A big fat one of cherry. It made the poor unfortunate die. He’s at the morgue to bury. —Ashtabula Star. She has her fourth, fifth, sixth baked pie, 1 And tears have dimmed her lamps, She's stuff enough for lots of pies, llut she's run out cf tramps. —Houston Post. Sh.- gave the tramp her umpsteenth pie. He gulped it down, forsooth, And thanked her with a tear dimmed eye— Tt brought his long lost youth With all its pleasures back to him, That poor old, sad old tramp. For the pain that made his senses swim Was like green apple cramp. OVERWORKED IMIRASK “I take off my hat to the man who wriles headlines for this newspaper.” • “Why such admiration?” “He never refers to the European war as a ‘titanic struggle’.” IDLE OPINIONS History shows that most of the great wars that have devastated Europe were started about nothing in par ticular. It’s bad enough for a man to think he knows it all without taking up your time by trying to prove it. Rainy days seem to beget absent mindedness. At least people are al ways picking up umbrellas that don't belong to them. Women who love their husbands should not cry on the slightest provo cation. It's unhealthy to live In an ntmoQphere that Is nearly always damp. While, procrastination may be the thief of time, It is also a great help to the man who lacks the price. The new-fashioned man who thinks war is murder is to be found blocking ( traffic on a crowded street corner. After a man and a woman have been married 15 or 20 years they can fight arc! get over it in about 10 minutes. P. C. GREAT TRIALS OF HISTORY TRIAL OF SIR JOHN OLDCASTLE ANOTHER of the great religious trials in which the victim would rather die than recant from what he believed was the right, was that of Sir John Oldcastle, Lord Cobham. He was tried ju3t at the beginning of the fifteenth century, accused of being a Lol lard. convicted and sentenced to be hanged in chains and then burned. This repel lant sentence was carried out. When quite young Oldcastle led many expeditions against the Welsh and for his valor received a large tract of land in Hereford, and was knighted. He was still later given several public offices, all of which he tilled with the utmost satisfac tion. The land which he owned in Here ford was the center of a veritable hot bed of Lollards, and it was when the clergy found that he sympathized with tlds religious body that the charges were brought against him. • * He was accused of having maintained suspected preachers in London, Rochester and Hereford, but these charges were not brought against him, immediately, for the clergy knew well of his high stand ing with the King, with whom he had as sociated since boybood. So in a body they trooped off to lay the charges before the ruler. Henry listened with patience to the entreaties and after hearing all,t made them promise to do nothing until he had seen Oldcastle and seen wjiat he could do as to the changing of his religious views. When Oldcastle arrived he listened to the King’s entreaties with closed ears and went off, with the King chiding him for his obstinacy. From the palace Old castle went and shut himself up In Cowl ing castle, where the archbishop sent a number of summonses which, upon Old castle refusing to take them, were nailed on the door of the castle. They were twice torn down from their place and the fugitive did nothing to obey the com mand w’hich they contained. This naturally enraged the King, who personally summoned Oldcastle to attend his privy chamber to appear before the court. Before Henry, Oldcastle declared that he would submit neither the arch bishop or to the pope himself; On Sep tember 25, 1413. lie was arraigned before a court consisting of 12 of the doctors and Religious heads of the various churches of London, the bishops of London, Win che’ster and Bangor, and the archbishop of Canterbury, which court met a Black Friars. In the trial there were long arguments as to the communion bread. The arch bishop and the clergy proclaimed that when it was consecrated It was no longer bread, but the body of Christ. In ar gument to this, Oldcastle said that the clergy could not change it into the body of Christ, but that it was still bread, i but holy bread, as the change depended upon the faith and belief of the person that partook of It. All through the trial many of the priests ! urged him to recant, but Oldcastle closed > his ears to their speeches. On the same day that the trial started the archbishop ’ read the sentence, part of which is as fol lows : "And though we have found him in the Catholic faith far w’lde, and so stiff necked. that he would not confess his er ror, nor purge himBelf, nor yet repent thereof, we condemn the said John Old castle, knight, and Lord Cobham, for a most pernicious and detestable heretic, : convicted of the same, and utterly refus ing to use the church again, committing i him from henceforward a condemned her etic, to the secular Jurisdiction, power ( and judgment, thereupon to put him tc death.” Upon hearing the death sentence Old • castle fell on his knees and prayed for his enemies. With a cheerful countenance i he then said: “Though you condemn my 'lody> which is a despicable thing, you cannot injure my soul." Then, lifting hia hands, he turned to the people and said: "Good Christians, have a care of these men, they will otherwise begullt and lead you blindfolded together into hell, for Christ says plainly to you: 'If the blind leadeth the blind, they will both fall into the ditch.’ " He was placed In the tower, but one night made his escape and was not heard of for four years. Ail thie time be was hiding in Wales, but at last, alter a stout.resistance, he was cap tured and again condemnation was read. On December II, 1417, in St. Giles' Field, the prisoner was taken to the gallows in the presence of a multitude of spectators. At this place on the same day he was hanged with a chain around his middle, and then burnt, gallows and all. Tomorrow: Trial of Lord Nevlll. EUROPEAN LINKUPS From the Philadelphia Record. In the history of Europe during the past century nothing Is more curious than the easy way In which national alliances have been made, broken, made again and changed as dynastic, economic and racial reasons have demanded. Here arj a few of these political transformations: In 1816 Russia, Prussia. England and Austria combined against France and crushed the power of Napoleon forever. In 1849, when revolution In Hunsarv threatened the house of Hapsburg In Austria, Russia Intervened and by force of arms placed the present Emperor, Francis Joseph, firmly upon his ihrone. In 1855-6 England, France, Austria and Italy allied themselves with the Turk against Russia In the Crimean war. In 1859 France deefated Austria In Italy and gHve a great impetus to the unifica tion of Italy. In I860 Prussia gave Its present ally, Austria, a fearful beating at Sadowa and forced It out of first place in the Ger man confederation. In 1870 Prussia inflicted upon France the defeat, with accompanying loss of territory, that has been tile cause of Eu rope s unrest ever since. In 1877 Ruseia defeated the Turks de cisively, but was cheated out of the right ful fruits of her victory by a combina tion of the other powers In the treaty of Berlin. Old enmities and friendships are now forgotten, and Italy, which detests both Austria and Germany, Is united with them In the triple alliance, while those old-time enemies. England and Russia, are allied with France in the triple en tente. What will be the next switch? Events of the next few days may bring it about quicker than one cquld have supposed. ALONE By Kendall Banning. In a door In Picardy a lonely womaud stands. % Somewhere, “under alien skies, beyond the gleaming strands Of alien shores, the banners flaunt, re splendent, In the suit. Above the grim, defiant ranks, ranka that bristle, gun to gun. The martial trumpets sumuned, and to! the armies came, To write the records of their fame In hurtling sheets of flame. Somewhere the drums are casting their stern, exultant spell To drive the battling hosts into the gap ing throat of hell! ' ~\ And somewhere, on an alien Held an* under alien skies, A soldier of the legion sleeps with stark and bloodless eyes, Unstirred by clank of sabres, unwakenedi, by the roar ) Of rattling guns and crashing hoofs that. he shall hear no more. L Unmindful of the summer's rain, unmind- * 1 ful of the snow, Unmindful, yea, of peace and war. he shall not even know The heart cries of the vanquished, th* vlctor’a proud comanda. v In a door In Picardy * lonely woman i stands.