The Birmingham age-herald. [volume], November 14, 1914, Page 4, Image 4

About The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950

Image provided by: University of Alabama Libraries, Tuscaloosa, AL

                
THE AGE-HERALD
fe. W. BARRETT Editor
iviutreu til iQe kin imngimm, Aia,
posioifice as second class matter under
act of Congress March 3. 1879.
Daily and Sunday Age-Herald . 68.Ou
Daily and Sunday per month ... .70
Daily and Sunday, three months 2 00
Weekly Age-Herald, per annum .60
Sunday Age-Herald . 2.00
A. J. Eaton. Jr., and O. E. Young are
the only authorised traveling represen
tatives of The Age-Herald in Us cir
culation department.
No communication will be published
Without its uuthor's name. Rejected
manuscript will not be returned unleso
stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
Remittances can be made at current
. , rate of exchange. The Age-Herald Will
/ not be responsible for money sent
/ through the mails. Address,
THE AGE-HERALD.
Birmingham. Ala
Washington bureau. 207 Hibbs build
lug.
European bureau. 6 Henrietta street.
Convent Garden, London.
Eastern business office. Rooms 4S to
60. inclusive, Tribune building, New
York city; Western business ofrics.
Tribune building, Chicago. The 3 c.
Beckwith Special Agency, agents lor
eign advertising. _
telephone
Bell (private exchange connecting all
Itpiirlnentt), Main 4000.
Keep thy friend under thy own life a
kry. _.\ir» YVrll Thnl End* Well.
BEGINNING THE DAY—Give me
n right mind toward my property
today, my Father, God. YV hat I have
la Thine, for I am Thine and all
the world I. Thine. In Thy mercy
Thou ha.t tru.led me with aome
,1 hat ol Thy good*. O give me Thy
grace to uae Thine own In Thy
way. in Chylat'a name. Amen.—II.
M. E.
Designated as Bank Reserve C ity
For several years efforts have been
made to induce the treasury depart
ment to designate Birmingham as a
reserve bank city, but only now has
this effort been availing.
Under the new currency law the
federal reserve board has full author
ity in such matters, and in view of
Birmingham’s steadily increasing im
portance as a financial center it did
not hesitate to select this as one of
the cities in which national banks
within a certain territory may
deposit a portion of their re
serve cash. Charleston was also
designated, but the petitions of
several ambitious cities were rejected,
and the federal board announced that
in the future no city under 100,000
would be considered in the matter of
establishing it as a reserve center.
Until now the only reserve cities
south of the Ohio river were Louis
ville and New Orleans; and since there
are only about fifty reserve cities in
the United States the selection of Bir
mingham must be regarded as quite
a compliment.
It is of no special interest to the
general public, being as it is a matter
only relating directly to banks; but
it is a curious fact that the financial
world classes all banks in centers not
designated by the government reserve
centers as “country banks.” It must
have puzzled readers of the Financier
and other banking journals to know
why the First National bank of Bir
mingham, for instance, was referred
to as a country bank. The classifica
tion being technical, the term “coun
try” for nonreserve cities, had no
especial bearing on the situation, but
it will be a pleasure for the boosters
of Birmingham to know that we will
no longer be a city of “country banks.”
The First National and the Traders
will be henceforth known officially as
city banks.
What will result from the change?
The national banks have to keep a
certain proportion of their cash re
serve locked up in their vaults. A
certain other proportion may be de
posited in banks in reserve cities.
These proportions are in round num
bers about half and half. There will
now be a tendency to concentration
of money from banks in Alabama,
a section of Florida and a section of
Mississippi, in Birmingham. The ac
tion of the federal reserve board shows
that Birmingham has got so strong as
a business center that it could no
longer be ignored when it came to the
reserve city proposition.
Another Likely Story
The humorous side of war frequent
ly appears in stories told by people
who don’t suspect that they are more
apt to evoke laughter than to arouse
pity.
With all due respect to an officer
in the United States army medical re
serve corps, who has just returned
from a long stay in Belgium, his state
ment that Germany is running short
% of lead and that a secret order has
been issued requiring all music stores
to turn over the lead used in pianos
and other musical instruments to the
government sounds rather dubious—
at least, at the present time. Later on
' Germany may be forced to adopt such
heroic measures as were witnessed in
this country in days gone by when
patriots melted their pewter to make
bullets, but it is not probable that the
well organized resources of the fath
crland have yet reached such a low
ebb. No doubt the stoppage of mines
in Galicia and Silesia has been felt in
Germany, but that country has made
; a study of. war, and every possible
contingency of war, for the past 40
years and it is hardly conceivable that
so important and necessary a metal
as lead should be exhausted so early
in the struggle.
The medical officer who brings back
the lead story says that the govern
ment’s order has “aroused feelings of
the deepest dejection in the music
trade.” It is easy to imagine that
such would be the cast., if it were nec
essary to convert all the pianos in
Germany into junk for the negligible
part of lead they contain, not to men
tion other musical instruments.
If the music stores are called on to
sacrifice their instruments, how long
will it be before all the patriotic citi
zens of Germany will be ordered to
give up their pianos and horns? Im
agine the consternation of Herr Pro
fessor, whose livelihood for these
many years has come from his be
loved piano! And imagine the plight
of the “leetle German bandt” deprived
of its noise producers? But maybe all
the musicians are at the front—as all
the teachers are reported to be—and
only prosaic tradesmen remain behind,
with pockets that may be hurt but no
“artistic temperaments” to be affected
by the sacrifice.
Higher Price of Cotton
The business situation in New
York and in the country generally is
improving. Several things contribute
to the improvement. The prosperity
prevailing in the west caused by the
demand for its enormous grain crops
at high prices is benfiting the country
at large. The heavy exporting of grain
has unquestionably had a most bright
ening effect on New York.
Another fact that is of wide benefit
and of the utmost importance to the
south is the higher price of cotton. The
advance within the last four or five
weeks has been steady. Cotton is sell
ing for 1*4 cents a pound more than
it was a month ago. The farmer finds
no difficulty in getting 7*4 cents for
his crop, or so much of it as he may
desire to sell. A few weeks ago the
man with cotton to market was doing
well if he got 6*4 cents a pound. Ex
perienced cotton buyers predicted that
it would go as low as 5 cents. There is
no such talk now, nor will there be
any more of it. The probability is that
8 cents will soon be offered.
If nothing else had developed to
bring about substantial results in
business conditions in the south the
advance in cotton would greatly help
to start this section on an era of very
solid prosperity. There is, of course, a
sentimental side to the upward trend
of the cotton market that makes for
optimism, but the cold dollars-and
cents side is what bankers, manufac
turers and merchants alike reckon
with in their calculations and in their
hope for an early revival of thrift all
along the line.
The American Road Congress
The fourth American Road con
gress in session in Atlanta this week
has been of unusual importance, es
pecially to the men and communities
interested in road-building material
and the latest and most approved road
machinery. Many prominent engi
neers from various sections of the
country participated in the discussions.
One of the most animating papers sub
mitted was by President Fairfax Har
rison of the Southern railway, and
among other notable papers was that
by W. S. Keller, state highway engi
neer of Alabama. Along with other
discussions it was printed in full in
one of the Atlanta papers and in the
Manufacturers’ Record. Mr. Keller is
not only an able engineer but he
writes convincingly and with lively
touches of humor. These are some
of the pithy paragraphs in Mr.
Keller’s paper:
It is almost Impossible to convince
many county officials that an engineer
, can easily save his salary several
times over by making certain changes
in location and grade and by eco
nomically administering the affairs of
the county. As a general rule, a
county gets more in return for money
spent for engineering services than for
any other single item connected with
road construction. A good engineer
is a dividend producer for a county.
Someone lias said that an engineer
is a man who can do as much with
J1 as a fool can with $2. Evidently
he did not have reference to the fool
engineer.
The most expensive fool li the fool
engineer. He is to a very great ex
tent responsible for the prejudice
many have against engineering super
vision of road construction. There is
absolutely no excuse for a county em
ploying an incompetent man, now that
the government, through the office of
public roads, stands ready and anx
ious to aid any county in securing a
good engineer. An engineer applying
for a position should be Indorsed by
those for whom he has worked and
by men competent to pass Judgment on
engineering work. It is an easy matter
for a man to get indorsements trom
friends who have perhaps known him
in a social way, but such are only
beneficial to prove his good charac
ter. An engineer with only a good
character will build a road without
any "character,”
A highway engineer should have a
good technical education, and, to be
successful, lie must be practical and
he must be a diplomat. He should be
sober, honest, energetic and think
more about the work he is trying to
do ttiun the pay check he will receive
at the end of the month. When tak
ing charge of a county's road affairs
he should convince the commissioners
that he knows more than they do about
building: roads, and then proceed to
prove it by doing good work. Unless
an engineer can absolutely convince hie
board of commissioners that he knows
his business, he had best resign.
The public has already been edu
cated to appreciate the economic value
of good roads; what remains to be
done lies in the direction, as Mr. Kel
ler makes plain, of engineering.
Frederick L#. Goss, of printing press
fame, who died recently in Chicago, was
born in Wales 67 years ago. He came to
the United States when a young man and
entered the printing business. He was
married in Milwauke in 1873 and a few
years later moved to Chicago, where he
organized the printing firm which bore
his name and of which he was vice pres
j ident at the time of his death. R. Hoe &
| Co. introduced a rotary printing press
early in the 70s, in which a continuous roll
of paper could be used. This type of
press did very well for a while, although
it had many disadvantages, such as a
lack of ink that would dry quickly, Im
perfect paper and the difficulty of cutting!
the sheets properly after they were print- j
ed. In 1889 a New York man named Firm, j
foreman of a publishing house, built what
was known as a straight line press. His
first production was a simple tandem
press with three sets of cylinders placed
in a straight line. Afterward It was an
easy matter to build presses in tiers in
stead of tandem. The press Firm built
for a New York paper was so crude that
it was condemned. He had little money
with which to improve his invention. Mr.
Goss saw the possibilities of Firm's in
vention, however, and bought the rights
from him, taking Firm into the Goss
Printing Press company. There was a
great deal of subsequent litigation among
pressmakers, but their difficulties were
finally settled. It was the principle, of
the straight line press, which was first
taken up by Goss, that made the modern
newspaper possible.
Germany will find It somewhat difficult
to "convert" Americans to their way of
thinking so long as they continue to act
In a way that makes the average Amer
ican citizen want to “blow off steam."
Charley Schwab thinks Lord Kitchener
would have made a fine president of the
Steel corporation. We think not. His
"lordship" doesn’t like newspaper men.
Tokio appropriately celebrated the first
Japanese victory In the present war. It
seems a long time since we've seen a
■'Banzai!" in an American newspaper.
It is reported that the Prince of Monaco
has doubled his army on account of war.
However, lie will hardly call out the
croupiers until the last moment.
The honorable city commission frowns
at children on skates and the honoraL.e
police department will look after bibulous
persons who are ditto.
A writer says "Nancy" loved "Bill
Sykes" more than a great many married
women love their husbands. Well, what's
the answer?
Unfortunately, the prevalence of the
foot and mouth disease doesn't make bus
iness any better for chiropodists and
dentists.
The Turks will probably tight as long
as the money holds out. It Is to be hoped
that they will soon experience hard times.
The French government continues to do
business at Bordeaux, although Paris is
beginning to think of theatres again.
A man In Ohio who ran for office got
one vote, and now his enemies accuse
hint of having cast that vote himself.
That San Francisco girl who wants
swimming made compulsory probably has
her eyes on a stalwart teacher.
In spite of the fact that he has no fam
ily, Nicholas Oongworth manages to get
along fairly well In politics.
France Is buying 20,000 horses In Texas.
She may have to employ a few cowboys
to ride them.
In the Theatre of War Death is the
stage manager.
THE DOCTOR’S BUSINESS
From Frances Nimmo Greene's “One
Clear Call,” published by Scribners.
Men may be hungry, but the grocer
knows that that is no affair of his unless
the coin comes across the counter. They
may be cold and in darkness, but the
coal man anl the light man feel no added
responsibility. They may be ragged, but
the circumstance suggests nothing to the
clothier except a chance to Bell to some
body whose patent business it Is to clothe
the naked.
But let a man be sick in body and in
spirit, and whether he have the price or
not, his condition at once becomes the
business of the doctor.
LUKE M'l.l'KK SAYS
From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
A man will treat his wife as though she
was a poor relation and then wonder why
she likes to talk to other men.
A woman can get a bargain when she
pays 79 cents for something worth $1.
But she will spend 1300 for a trousseau
when she marries a 30-cent man.
The old-fashioned man who used to
wear pulse warmers now has a son who
would catch cold If he forgot to wear his
wrist watch.
There was a time when a girl didn't
blush unless a man spoke to her. But
nowadays some of them wear a blush that
nothing but turpentine and a scrub brush
will remove.
There are a whole lot of unsolved mys
teries. But why is the pocket on the
Inside of a vest?
A camel going through the eye of a
needle Is a piker compared with a fat
woman getting Into a straight-front cor
set
The old-fashioned man who used to say
that he was driven to drink now has a
son who phones for a taxi when he gets a
yen to accumulate a bun.
When a girl's face is so thin that her
cheek bones are the most prominent feat
ure. she gets a lot of satisfaction out of
the fact that she haB dimples where you
can't see them.
Once In awhile you see a man whose
Adam’s apple is bigger than his chin.
If a man finds one of his wife's hairs In
the butter he gets so mad that he won t
eat any dinner. And a few hours later
he will stop at a street corner wagon
restaurant and eat five frankfurters made
out of mule meat and enjoy them.
This Is a free country. That is the
reason why an honest working girl who
spells education "ejakaton" can have a
whole room filled with college pennants
if she wants to hang them up.
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Wheat and Data
"The farmers of north Alabama have
been quite busy till* fall sowing wheat
and oats,” said William P. Redd of the
Grasselli company.
"Jefferson used to be a fine wheat coun
ty. Large wheat crops were made here
abouts before the war, and now Jefferson
is swinging back Into the grain line. It
is well.
"North Alabama lias more than held its
own in agriculture. There has been
great progress within the last few years,
and people generally have no idea how
much the farmers in the section be
tween here and the Tennessee line have
got ahead by their brains and industry.
Next year promises unusually well for this
part of the state, and as far as I can
see for the state as a whole.”
Prohibition In Virginia
"While the people of Virginia voted for
stute-wide prohibition in the special flec
tion held in September there are pro
visions in the act under which the vot*»
was taken allowing wine and beer to lie
manufactured to be sold and shipped out
side, but not within the state,” said
George Cole Scott of Richmond, who.
wtyh his brothers, and other capitalists
of the Old Dominion, have large invest
ments in the Birmingham district.
"State-wide prohibition does not go into
effect until 1916. This will give the large
wholesale liquor interests an opportunity
to close out their stocks without pecu
niary loss. Virginia, as is generally
known, has been almost dry for some
years. There are only a few cities in
which liquor is legally sold. T voted on
the side of local option but those of us
who voted that way are in favor of strict
state law enforcement. Many local op
tionists believe that with rigid prohibi
tion there will be in time a reaction so
that large cities like Richmond and Nor
folk can return to high license and reg
ulation.”
Compared With Other Cities
“Business is looking up in Birmingham;
is in fact improving in most parts of
the country,’* said W. D. Nesbitt, the
well known Warrant warehouse man and
cotton statistician. “The fact that cot
ton has advanced 1*4 to 1H cents within
the last few weeks is a big fact In it
self. It means much to the individual
farmers and to the south In general.
Birmingham, of course, will share In the
benefits of the advancing cotton mar
ket.
'Speaking of Birmingham, it makes a
splendid showing in comparison with I
other cities of approximately Its size.!
While many of the industries are oper-l
atlng at reduced capacity, the pay rolls
are still large. If one will travel around
and find out about the conditions in some
of the commercial and industrial cities
that are viewed as marvels of pros
perity and see how depressed they have
been recently, they will think more of
this city than ever. Birmingham would
then look to them like a pay roll center
indeed—would look like a city with a
big pay roll every day.”
Lawyer Suggests a Change
“Among the many needed changes tn
the practice and procedure in our county
courts,” said a member of the Birming
ham bar, “is a modification of the law
that requires the civil courts to sus
pend operations for two weeks in the
fall and spring terms by reason of Jef
ferson county's call in the supreme court.
As the law now stands the judges are
absolutely forbidden to sit on any cases
during this recess and with the increasing
number of cases filed in these courts and
a corresponding overcrowding of the pick
ets, it is a sheer waste of time and a
useless expenditure of the county’s money
for such a. condition to continue.
“There Is no question but that the cor
poration law yers and attorneys with large
clientage need time to prepare their cases,
but I venture the assertion that there
are far more attorneys practicing lawr in
Birmingham who do not need the two
weeks than those who do.
“In my opinion the clerks of the sev
eral courts could arrange a docket dur
ing these two weeks that would not in
terfere with the lawyers who have a case
or cases pending in the supreme courts.
With the long summer adjournment and
then again the loss of an additional four
weeks during terms there is no wonder
that the courts are behind with their
dockets.”
Benefited by Western Prosperity
"St. Louis Is deriving large benefit from
the high tide of prosperity now in evi
dence in the grain growing west," said
Charles F. Arrington of Missouri.
"Our state's great metropolis has felt
hard times less than any big city, per
haps, and now that there is marked im
provement in sight everywhere it la sure
to be in the forefront of progressive
cities. I am told by friends who have
recently made extended tours through the
west that several cities which had been
at a standstill during the past two years
are now fairly booming."
The Iren Trade
The local iron market Is without special
feature this week, although inquiries have
been more numerous.
Matthew Addy & Co.'s Cincinnati report
says in part:
"Sentiment rather than business has
Improved. Since the first of the month
there has been a growing feeling that
a change for the better is at hand. This is
the first step toward a happier state of
affairs. As the chief magistrate would
say, it is the psychology of an advanc
ing market. The minds of men must
first be lightened, their hearts must be
cheered, their hopes and Imagination must
be stirred, they must be roused from the
deadly lethargy which the dull times have
thrown about them. In other words, if
you can take away the wet blanket that
now oppresses them they will get up and
do something.
"This weqk more orders for finished ma
terial. mostly lathes, have come for ship
ment to Europe. These orders are fine.
They are at good prices; they call for
immediate delivery, and payment is to be
made in gold f. o. b. New York. The pay
ment Is quick and sure, not like so much
of recent American business when the
time of payment has been uncertain, to
put it mildly. Another good thing about
this foreign business is that there Is
plenty more in sight; Inquiry has stead
ily grown."
ASSUMPTION OF RANK
From the Pittsburg Chronicle-Tele
graph.
"Dearest," said the sentimental
bridegroom after the wedding cere
mony, "do you think that I’ll prove to
be a satisfactory mate?’’
"Ob, I guess you'll do all right,” re
sponded the practical brld^; "and now
look me over and tell my what you
1 think of your captain."
New York Herald: To the dramatic ca
reer of the German cruiser Emden has
come dramatic ending. Caught at last,
this most famous of German sea rovers
was driven to the beach of one of the
islands of the Cocos group, southwest of
Java, and there destroyed.
To the gallantry and skill of Capt. Karl
von Muller and other officers of the Em
den the men of all navies will pay a
tribute that is deserved. From early Au
gust until finally run down the Emden
was a menace and a terror to British
shipping in the Bay of Bengal, the Indian
ocean and other waters theoretically un
der British domination. Her relatively
high speed and the perfection of her
handling enabled her to destroy and es
cape to destroy again. It is estimated
that her toll in commerce of the enemy
destroyed reaches a total of between
$10,000,000 and $20,000,000. The Emdens
most daring exploit was her slipping,
| disguised, into the harbor of Penang and
there sinking a Russian cruiser and a
| French destroyer.
Not the least interesting fact concerning
the ending of the Emden’s career is that
she met her fate at the hands of the Aus
tralian cruiser Sydney. This is Australia's
first appearance in sea warfare and right
gallantly did the Sydney prove her worth.
In this engagement, as in the earlier op
erations by a New Zealand contingent
against German Samoa and Germany’s
other insular possessions in the south
Pacific, Australia and New Zealand have
proven themselves important factors ln«
the military strength of the British em
pire.
The removal of the Emden and the bot
tling up of the cruiser Koenigsburg in
German East Africa have removed the
last vestiges of German naval strength
in the Indian ocean.
London Cable to the New York Times:
Lucien Arthur Jones, correspondent of
the Daily Chronicle, "with the Belgian
army," in a dispatch dated Monday, says:
"Ypres is in flames and the greater part
of this fine old Flemish town is a ruin.
Early this morning the Germans man
aged to get the range with their heavy
artillery and from dawn onward 11 and
13-inch shells were poured into the city.
"The town itself is completely deserted
and no loss of life has resulted from the
heavy shell fire. A naval officer who left
Ypres this morning declared that the only
living beings in the town were an aged
and crippled Flemish woman and her j
dog.
The former was vainly attempting to j
quell the sweeping flames with buckets of j
water. Fanned by a northeasterly breeze j
the flames greedily licked the houses, the
majority of which are timbered, and
soon the western side of the town be
came a mass of red hot wreckage. High
powered explosive shells and in some
cases, I am informed, incendiary shells,
fell Into Ypres at the rate of 10 to 20 a
minute.
‘The objective of the Germans’ destruc
tion appeared to be mainly the famous
Cloth Hall. It is the most considerable
Gothic edifice of its kind in Belgium.
Much of the structural work dates from
the thirteenth century and its destruction
is a crime against civilization no less than
the destruction at Louvain and RheimB.
"The tower of the Cathedral of St. Mar
tin is also partly in rums. This building
is an example of the transition style and i
dates from 1221. Many paintings, chiefly !
by pupils of Reubens, are reported to have
been carried away in safety.
"In the northern quarter of the town,
where there were many fine old buildings,
considerable damage was also done by
fire and shell."
ALABAMA SANCTUMS
Montgomery Advertiser: The "Sons of
Plato” In Mississippi have the minions
of the law after them. But elsewhere In
the country the Daughter of Neptune (as
seen at the movies) has cltlxens hunting
her.
Andalusia Star: Sacred history says old
man Noah landed In Russia with his ark.
If Noah were to land in Russia now it
would be necessary for him to fortify his
old ark with a few 16-Inch guns.
Montgomery Journal: We take plasure
in being the first to officially announce
that the Arctic and Antarctic oceans are
open for traffic and are absolutely free
of mines.
Shelby County Sun: Just as well try to
make a ladder reach the heavens as to
try to break the solid south.
Anniston Star: Mercury has been lost to
view, but Mars becomes more in evi
dence every day.
Elba Clipper: It looks like a hard win-1
ter on the orchestras, but we hope the
violinists will scrape through.
Greenville Advocate: The fellow who
figured out how old Ann was is'now
estimating the cost of the European war.
Marion County News: “After all tne re
turns are in I may have something more
to say.”—Roosevelt. Lord bless your soul,
you have already talked too much.
Gadsden Journal: The Coosa river Is
now working for Gadsden’s steel plant.
Electric power Is being used there, gen
erated at Lock 12.
VICTOR MURDOCK
From the New York Times.
Regret that Victor Murdock of Kansas
will be forced to retire to private life
for two years after March 4, 1915. will uot
be confined to the comparatively few still
faithful members of the progressive party,
to the general collapse of which alone his
defeat is attributable. For 10 years Mr.
Murdock has represented the Eighth Kan
sas district in the House of Representa
tives, and so strong has been hts hold
on the voters of that part of his state
that no opponent has dared to appear of
late to contest his biennial re-election.
He has been free in the political cam
paigns to lend his oratory, to 'other dis
tricts and other states. But Mr. Mur
dock chose this year to carry the pro
gressive banner In his contest for the %en
atorshlp, and he has found that party
fidelity is still stronger in the John Brown
state than personal popularity.
He will be missed in the next session
of Congress, especially by Uncle Joe Can
non, who must have been looking for
ward eagerly to renewing hla relations
with the Kansas young man. But while
Mr. Murdock's enforced rest from the po
litical routine will give him time to put
new fire and energy into his newspaper,
the Wichita Eagle, the pursuit of Jour
nalism so remote from the national cap
ital will scarcely lend free play to Ills
talent. That he will return to put spice,
vigor and personal humor in the proceed
ings of the Sixty-fifth Congress goes
without saying. The orlflame has been
furled, but it will wave again.
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES 1
IF.
If every man would do his best
And bear a kind heart In his breast.
I And fairly play the game of life,
With all its sorrow and its strife.
There’d be less thought of pride and
place,
A smile would light up every face.
And winter time and summer, too,
There’d be so little cause for rue.
This world would seem in mortal eyes
The vestibule to paradise.
THOSE WHO ALSO RUN.
“Politics is a very uncertain calling.”
“Indeed It is. Many a man mistakes an
order to go ’way back and sit down for a
summons to come forward and be
elected.”
A YOUNG PHILANTHROPIST.
“I understand your boy is doing quite
well in business, Mr. Rockerby.”
“Ahem! What do you hear?”
“His friends tell me that he already em
ploys a larger office force than you do
yourself.”
"Umph! He doesn’t need so many
clerks In his office and I’m getting tired
of paying their salaries. They are all col
lege friends of his whom I suspect him of
hiring to keep from becoming trolley car
conductors and waiters.”
PLACING HIM.
* “A tramp came to my door yesterday
and what do you suppose he had on his
wrist?”
“A handcuff?”
“No; a wrist watch.”
“Probably a female impersonator out of
a job.”
WILLING TO FALL
“Have a drink, Gadson?”
“Not a drop! I’ve signed the pledge.”
“Oh, very well.”
“Confound it, man! Why dont yon in
veigle me?”
VEXATIOUS MATTERS.
No other tiling of which we know
Can make us want to swear ,
Like searching for a bit of "dough," *
To find our pockets hare.
—Birmingham Age-Herald.
Tile thing that makes us swear a streak
la hunting our umbrella.
And finding that it has been swiped
By some dry-minded fellow.
—Memphis Commercial-Appeal.
THEN HE MOVED.
"Do you know," said the facetiout
"cub reporter, who was calling on Misi
Peaeher, "that ‘u' and T are close to
gether on the keyboard of a linotype ma
chine?"
"No, I didn't know that,” answered Mi*
Peaeher, coldly, "nor do I think it any f
reason why you and T should be so dost
together on this davenport."
THE TRAVELER.
No more he thinks he'd like to be
Aboard some vessel far at sea;
Since there's been so much talk of mines
To railroad trains he more Incline*.
DOESN'T BOTHER WITH NAMES. *
"I fear that Mrs. Blowster has a ratliei
poor opinion of humanity In general."
"Why do you think ao?"
"There are so many Individuals to whore
she merely refers as ‘that person.’ "
A SHORT SERMON.
Whenever he Is detected In a particli
larly flagrant act of wrongdoing. Plods
worth dismisses the matter by saying
airily, "Well, I'm human and I can't help
It." We are all human, but posing now ,
and then as supermen safeguards ns from
atavism. We may not act well the part
hut the effort, at least, is stimulating.
PAUL COOK.
LITTLE TRAGEDY IN FRANCE I
From the New York Times.
THE old woman was busy feeding her
chickens as we rode up. “You must
come, vite, tante,” says the officer
in charge of the rounding-up party. “We.
will give you a lift.”
“But I cannot leave my pullets,” says
the old countrywoman, aghast. “They will
starve.”
“You must come, tante,” repeats the
officer, inflexibly. “I am sorry for you,
ma mere; but this bitter time we must
make sacrifices. Get your clothes, old
lady. We cannot wait now.” • . .
But the old woman backs up against
the coop and fiddles a moment behind
her wifh her left hand. Abruptly she
has the door open, and with a movement
wonderfully quick for so old a body she
steps inside, among her beloved poultry,
and slams to the wire-covered door. . . .
The officer looks at me and laughs
gently, yet with a queer little look of
unexpected understanding in his eyes.
“Ah. monsieur,” he whispers, “the poor
old body! It breaks their hearts. But
how many hearts are breaking these
days! X have seen them thus many times
these last days.”
Then he dismounts and goes forward
himself to the coop. He does his best to
persuade the old woman to listen to
reason and come out; but she is too old
and too frightened and too rooted to
year-long customs and habits.
"No, no! I will not come. My pullets
—they will starve,” she says, reiterating
endlessly.
“But the Germans will come, ma mere,”
he says, patiently. “They will kill your
pullets and eat them.”
“Never!” screams the old woman. . .
She stands in there, backed rigidly
against the far side of the coop, with
the chickens crowding away into the cor
ners, cackling uneasily. Outside the of
ficer stands, silent; for he has ceased to
expostulate. The sergeant, a big, black
bearded man, is crying quite frankly, and
I see that several of the other men are
in tears. It is an extraordinary mo
ment, but I am getting used here to see
ing these Frenchmen show emotion like a
woman one hour and fight like the in
carnate spirit of war the next. I com
prehend their tear*, though I am verj
far from tears myself—only full of a greai
pity for the old woman* '
The officer turns quietly and says threi
brief words to the sergeant. The ser
geant and two of the men step forward
and around the front and sides of th«
coop. There is a sudden crashing ot
woodwork, and the coop is torn apart
Then—an old women screaming wildly, in
sanely, and a vast fluttering and cluckinn
of outraged chickenhood!
They lift the old woman, fighting an*
kicking, out of the ruins of the coop
and.the soldiers catch the chickens as thej
come soaring and clucking out in al'
directions.
i The sergeant and his helper take the
old woman Into her little house, an*
there, I presume, help her to pack, for g
few minutes later she comes out, verj
white-faced and rigid, carrying a small
bird cage and a clock, while the sergean1
carries a bundle on his broad back, tied
up in a bed quilt.
The old woman is not allowed to pasi
near the coop, but is taken to the rear and
put aboard a light wagon along with *
number of other unfortunates.
The sergeant comes back and the of
ficer whispers something to. him, and 1
notice that he passes him a couple o: \
20 franc pieces.
The big sergeant mutters something
nodding toward the disrupted coop, an*
after a moment the officer nods.
"Very well, Jean," he says. "Just one
but no more. We can’t cart all the Hv*
stock on the countryside!"
Five minutes later we were ready tc
move on, and I went to the rear to sec
one of the loaded wagons start off to th«
southward. In the tall end of it the old •
woman sat upon her big bundle, done up
in the old bed quilt. In one hand wai
her bird cage. The other was gripped o»
(I doubt not) the lieutenant’s two gold
pieces. In her lap reposed snugly twc
things—her clock and one of her hen*
which I guessed the big black-oearded
sergeant had begged for her.
The wagon wrent away to the southward
and w*e moved forward on our errand o!
mercy and pain; for we had to see thai
all the country for a certain area wai
empty of non-combatants.
KII.IjKD by his set
From the Youngsttown Telegram.
Watson Harpham, Yale T4, famous in
athletics, killed himself at the home of
his parents in Evanston, a suburb of Chi
cago, because he was unable to secure
suitable employment. What kind of em
ployment the unfortunate young man de
sired is not stated, but it was probably
something in keeping with his social
standing, something that would not dis
grace him in “his set.”
Perverted public opinion was responsible
for the despondency which led the young
man to commit the rash act. If he had
continued to live he would In time have
come into his own, for he was probably
both physically and mentally fitted for
the battle of life.
Of course, he could not be seen starting
to his work from a fashionable suburb at
tired in blue overalls and carrying a tin
pail, although that is w hat the men wore
who built the house he lived in and the
schools he studied in and the great ce
ment "bowl” where he won his athletic
honors. Some ninny, who would starve
were it not for the parental wing, might
see him at honest toil—and laugh.
If he were the son of a millionaire rail
road magnate and started out, after the
manner of such sons, “to learn the busi
ness from bottom up,” it would be all
right for him to be seen at humble toil.
It would have been just stunning to see
him start out in humble blue Jumpers.
Why? Because they would know all the
time that he was not compelled to do it
and that he would in time be a whale of
a matrimonial catch.
If the unfortunate young man had lived
and worked his sons would probably have
been hiring and firing the sons of the
luckier young man. for such are the fre
quent happenings in the whirligig of time.
A “social set" Is In some respects more
merciless than the Highbinders who have
a rule never to turn their backs on a
friend but to Join hands in giving him a
start in life. •
FROM MEMORY’S BOOK
From the Milwaukee Journal.
When one is past middle life, memory
begins to unfold its pages. He sees his
youth, not as his own. but as that of an
other. He Is touched with sadness and
pity ns he recognises the plans and am
bitions, the high hopes in the youthful
' breast that experience has shown him
were never to be realized, one hope aftei ft
another had to be given up. Indeed, 1! fl
seems sometimes that life is but a giving H
up day after day. Anticipations are sel* fl
dom realized. Perhaps it is best that thii
should be; for the same experience that
brougiit disappointments showed us that fl
often as we thought we knew what would H
make us perfectly happy, we were nearlj H
always mistaken. It was the anticipation H
really that went farthest toward making fl
us happy. When it was over, it hac H
served its purpose; another took iti fl
place. 9
So as memory turns the leaves, w< fl
sigh a little at those bright hopes 01 ft
youth destined forever to be unfulfilled Eg
After all, It mattered little. Kach of ui ft
had some share in the world’s work t« ft
do. How little it mattered that tha ft
share was not what we had guessed anc fl
wished it to be, or It was performed ft
faithfully! How many things the brigh, fl
dreams of youth failed to take into ac- fl
count that were to prove the greates fl
part of the business of life! We ar« H
feeble in judgment; we do not alwayi fl
know how to trim ourselves, nor see ex fl
actly what form our lives should take ft
Vicissitudes clip us here and there, oftei fl
where we have least suspected the neec fl
of it. But the failure of the dreamt fl
should not grieve us. jfl
After all, their real purpose was t< fl
give us hope and courage and make ui E'
work. If they did that, they wore wortk fl
while, though not a single one was evei ES
fulfilled.
“FIXED UP”
From 15. H. Howe's Monthly.
They say of a Sheep Creek young mar fl
that he “fixed up'* so much for his wed fl
ding day that he shaved all the hair ofl H
his legs. !g|
THE DREAMER E
By Theodosia Garrison. fl
The gypsies passed her little gate— fgg
8 he stopped her wheel to see fl
A brown-faced pair who walked the roac H
Free as the wind Is free; H
And suddenly her tiny room |H
A prison seemed to be.
Her shining plates against the walls, I
Her sunlit sanded floor, H
The brass-bound wedding; chest that heU fl
Her linen s snowy store, %|
The very wheel whose running died— fl
Seemed only chains she bore. fl
She watched the foot-free gypsies pass;
She never knew or guessed
The wishful dream that drew them clos*-^fl
The longing in each breast fl
To some day know a home like hers V
Wherein their hearts might regfc fl