The Birmingham age-herald. [volume], December 31, 1914, Page 4, Image 4

About The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950

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THEAGE-HERALE
E. W. HARRIOTT.Edltot
Entered at the Jbirmimfnam. Ala.,
postuffiee as second class matter undei
act of Consress March 3, 187B.
Dally and Sunday Age-Herald.JS.tt
Daily and Sunday, per month.7(
Daily and Sunday, three months.2.ut
Weekly Age-Herald, per annum.W
Sunday Age-Herald . 2.m
A. J. Eaton, Jr., and O. E. Young are
the only authorised traveling represen
tatives of The Age-Herald in its cir
culation department.
No communication will fce published
without its author’s name. Rejected
manuscript will not be returned unless
•tamps are enclosed for that purpose.
Remittances can be made at current
rate of exchange. The Age-Ilerald wil
not be responsible for money sent througn
the mails. Address,
*|IE AGE-HERALD,
Birmingham, Ala.
Washington bureau, 207 Hibbs build
ing.
European bureau, 6 Henrietta street,
Covent Garden, London.
Eastern business office, Rooms » to
SO, ir.clusive, Tribune building, New
York city; western business office,
Tribune building, Chicago. The S. C.
Beckwith Special Agency, agents foi
«lgn advertising. '
telephone
Bell (prlv.te «•«*■■«« cnnertln* •"
department.) Main 4BOO.
I ___
BEGINNING THE DAY-O God.
Wh«t wonder to live! Tho.. mlghte.t
kmve le« me. Hot Thou c.llcd.t and
, heard. I.o, I «m here. And heve
In the form nnd lielna of mnn. T J
gift, rich upon mei T hy name In
mv heart, aronnd nnd before me.
i- & -§5
nnd the peril of It. Amen.—H. M. E.
A Business-Like Legislature
Alabama's legislature under the
constitution sits but 60 days every
four years unless called in extra ses
sion.
When the new legislature assem
bles next month, 50 days will be a
brief time indeed to dispose of the
accumulated legislative needs of the
past four years.
It is, therefore, gratifying to see
so many legislative conferences being
held prior to the opening. It indi
cates a desire to thrash out differ
ences before hand. It leaves the in
ference that the legislature is a busi
ness-like body of men who do not
want to waste time wrangling when
the session opens.
Many citizens may be dissatisfied
with what the legislature will do, but
all must admire the evidences of
business efficiency so far shown by
the memhers._
News In Advertisements
Modern advertisements are coming
to be more and more valuable in pro
portion as they contain news. That is
what makes them essentially a com
ponent part of the newspaper, pri
marily a medium for purveying news
Readers of The Age-Herald car
profit much by reading the series ol
•nterviews with ad writers of Binning
nam about their work, now running
in these columns. They tell the se
crets by which some of the greatesi
and most prosperous business con
cerns in the south have been buildec
right here in Birmingham.
No well informed man or womai
skips the advertisements nowadays
for they contain constantly some o
the most vital news facts of the com
munity’s life.
A Theorist At Work
Tn an editorial recently published ii
The Age-Herald regarding the ap
pointment of Thomas Mott Osborm
as warden at Sing Sing, the fact wa:
commented on that here was a theoris
who would be given an opportunity ti
put his theories into practice in wha
has been called the worst prison ii
the United States. Judging fron
■ome recent remarks of Mr. Osborm
made in the course of an address to th<
Westside Young Men’s Christian as
sociation, New York, the new treat
ment of prisoners at Sing Sing has al
ready worked wonders. “Treating thi
prisoners like humans by applying
common sense,” he declares, ha
been so effective that not one prisone
has been punished for infraction o
rules since he took charge of th
prison. He says that the inmate
were quick to1 recognize that he cam1
as a helper and his efforts to improv
their condition met with a ready re
Eponse.
“The failure of the old system,
gays Mr. Osborne, “is shown by th
fact that two-thirds of the prisoner
in the state institutions are second o
third termers. Under the old syster
there was no effort made to give
man a chance to do the right thing
There was only brutal treatment an
severity. The same severe rules ap
ply to all prisoners, and they are gen
erally all treated alike, a system tha
discourages men who try to redeer
themselves. Ninety-five per cent c
the men in Sing Sing want to do righ
-while the other 5 per cent are r<
bellious and trouble makers. Y<
under the old system the inelasti
rules were so foolish that the treai
ment given the rebellious 5 per cer
was also the treatment given the me
who wanted to go straight.”
Mr. Osborne states that by givin
the men a square deal the 96 per cei
|' who want to redeem themselves now
dominate the bad element. The re
sult has been “a wave of righteous
ness,” that is sweeping the prison au
thorities off their feet. There is good
sense in what he says, although it still
requires infinite wisdom to decide how
much latitude should be given the good
prisoners and how much punishment
should be meted out to the bad. It is
evident, however, that Sing Sing is
quite different from what H. was.
The City's Future
Birmingham, to employ the favorite
expression of the schoolboy, is “in the
hole.”
Birmingham, since the day of its
birth, has been “in the hole.”
Fortunately, it happens, however,
tl^t the citizenry of Birmingham is
of such stamina that the future of the
city is assured. The city will be'on
its feet again, and although the time
will never come when the municipal
government is entirely free of fi
nancial obligation, there is no ques
tion but that fetters which now handi
cap will be stricken and that in the
future this city will attain that state
which was predestined.
Conclusion to this effect is reached
on account of the general interest
which is displayed throughout the
district in the effort of the various
committees appointed to solve the
vexatious and intricate financial prob
lem of the municipal government.
There are at work 100 serious men
on whom, for the moment, the city
has dumped its woes. These 100 men
have rallied to the task in hand as
patriots should have rallied.
It is as it should be. It is right.
It argues that relief is just “around
the comer.” It is proof positive, too,
that no man through the display of
his fright of ghosts and goblins,
imagined and real, will be able to cre
ate a panic.
The situation has already improved.
There is no question but that very
shortly shadows will be dissipated as
a result of the opening of the flood
gate of light.
St. Prlvat, which la seven miles from
Metz, bombarded by French troops, was
till; scene of a desperate battle before the
capitulation of the fortress in the
Franco-Prussian war. For four days a
French army of 26,000 men fought against
00.000 Prussians and Saxons. They did not
retire until 20,000 of them were killed or
wcuuded. The losses on the other side
were 40,000. In his tribute to the bravery
of the French soldiers, a Prussian sturf
officer said: "Not a single trophy, not a
single gun was taken by us. More than
4J.OOO dead and wounded show the fright
ful nature of the struggle on the last day,
which lasted nine hours, and in which the
valor uf the Germans triumphed only
with the greatest difficulty over the stub
born resistance of the French.” The
blame for the (Inal defeat in the struggle
Is placed on Marshal Huzuine, who re
mained shut up in Metz and refused aid
to the generals in the field, although fully
informed of what was taking place. Zola
In his great novel, "The Downfall,” has
painted a vivid picture of the incidents
leading up to the triumph uf the Ger
mans over France, and has described th<
French generals, Bazalne among them, a-'
■ amazingly incompetent.
A woman who was the wife of a notet
playwright and tried to get alimony o:
JcO.OOO a year will have to continue ti
1 worry along on $90<ju a year. She shouli
i remember that times are hard and evei
the most prosperous members uf the uli
mony club are feeling the pinch.
Some wealthy men who were lorme:
newsboys sold pupers in Detroit and madi
$2t()d for charity. They could easily havi
1 written personal checks for five or 1‘
timer; that amount and avoided so mucl
1 publicity. Charity in this country like:
> to blow its own horn.
John Hull should not be surprised at the
piotest of the American governmen
‘ against having Its commerce interfere!
1 with. We are still endeavoring to di
1 business at the old stand, regardless o
; the fact that practically all of Europi
! hai gone mad.
The Russians show a fixed determina
tion to capture German trenches. The;
must have read the yarns of some ve
; ra clous newspaper correspondents win
' said that the German trenches have al
l the comforts of home.
. The recent blizzard In New York causec
liui dreds of unfortunates to appeal fo
: shelter. A park bench in winter is a sail
' itary place to sleep, no doubt, but i
■ ha.i decided drawbacks.
A Cleveland girl is said to have invent
cd a safety razor, but you never bea
of a member of her sex inventing a safe
»
ty heel for women’s shoes.
> -g- ■■ -
The citizens of Naco will be able t
celebrate the coming of the new yea
1 without having to dodge Mexican bullets
1 ----
^ Alabama can easily afford to have ai
exhibit at the Panama-Pacific exposition
J but she can’t afford to be wthout one.
Emperor William expressed the mllitar
istie spirit of Christmas by saying, “Dowi
^ with all enemies of Germany. Amen.”
1 Frank’s lawyers may soon have to loo
£ around for other business, but Thaw’
lawyers seem to have lifetime jobs.
In the opinion of some statesmen th
t Fbilippine “revolt” was nothing more tha
c a “rough house.”
To get our just deserts, life In Birming
t ham should be just one big eonventlo
n after another.
The Boston dog said to eat beans i
£ probably able to speak “dog Latin” wit
t proficiency.
The baseball situation may still be de
scribed as somewhat complicated.
Don't crowd! There will be plenty of
time to sign the pledge.
ANNISTONIANS IN BIRMINGHAM
From the Anniston Star.
It was a source of pride to the people
of this city to note that when the people
of Birmingham arrived at a full sense of
the distressing state of their city fi
nances they turned to a former Annis
tonian, the Hon. Sydney J. Bowie, as the
Moses most capable of leading them out
of the wilderness of financial embar
rassment.
This was a wise selection, for Mr.
Bowie will make the Magic City a
capable leader. He is not only a Moses,
a man capable of drafting and executing
the law% but at the same time an Aaron,
a man with the gift of expounding the
law—a speaker of words and a doer of
deeds.
It is a further source of gratification i
to note that when Mr. Bowie went about
the task of selecting subcommittees to
co-operate with him in relieving Bir-:
raingham’s revenue distress, he selected!
two other former Annistonians to head I
the tw’o most important committees—
Frank Nelson, Jr., chairman of the com
mittee on permanent relief, and John H.
Frye, chairman of the committee on |
temporary relief.
Again we say, wise judge, most ex
cellent judge; for among the commit
tee of 100 wh6 are lenaig their talent
to the relief of their city are none, we
daresay, more capable than Frank Nel
son and John Frye. Mr. Nelson was at
the head of a bank in Anniston before
going to Birmingham, and since he has
been residing there his efforts have con
tributed to the growth of Birmingham
materially; his operations embracing real
estate, coal mining and finance. His
palatial home is one of the show places
of the south. Mr. Frye was likewise
a successful business man before he left
Anniston, and it is doubtful if there is a
better banker than he in the Magic City
today. Certainly Birmingham has no
finer citizen.
Annistonians regretted the loss of
Bowie, Nelson and Frye; but we re
joice in the recognition of their abilities
in a larger sphere of usefulness; and
while they have moved to another scene
of business activity, their hearts are
still with the Model City, an instance of
which has been exemplified in the
valuable services they have rendered in
recent years to the Alabama Presby
terian college, Anniston’s rapidly grow
ing institution of learning.
Not only these three, but other An
nistonlans have stood foremost in the
making of the Magic City, notably Col.
T. G. Bush; while such men as T. E.
Kilby, E. L* Turner, R. M. Ingram, the
Constantines, D. <\ Cooper, W. W.
Stringfellow. W. A. Davis and others,
while unwilling to leave attractive An
niston. have lent their services
toward the building of Alabama's me
tropolis. In fact, had it not been for
Anniston brains and money, Birming-1
ham would today probably be a second j
rate city, instead of the type city of I
the industrial south.
ALABAMA PRESS
Anniston Star: The Age-Herald wants
to know “what has become, of the old
fashioned artist who used to draw a'
spinster with corkscrew curls waiting
hopelessly under the mistletoe.” Said
spinster is now a suffragette, and ye old
fashioned artist is wiser than of yore.
Gadsden Times-New’s: Birmingham’s
frequent murders are attracting a great
deal of unpleasant notoriety to this state,
and it is hoped that the officials of the
Magic City will soon find means to cope
witli the situation in an efficient manner.
Birmingham probably has more law
bieaking in proportion to the number of
its inhabitants than any other city in
the union. This is not a matter to bo
proud of, but, on the contrary, it is bring
ing disgrace to the state. What is Bir
mingham going to do about it?
Gadsden Journal: Birmingham has coun
terfeit $5 gold pieces in circulation. Spring
ing a gold piece on the trade these days
should subject the passer to suspicion im
mediately.
Talladega Home: The politicians are
getting ready to start to Montgomery,
where Alabama’s seat of war will be
located for a while.
►Selma Times: There seems to be a grow
ing sentiment in favor of a big army and
a bigger navy. Whatever the cost we
must got ready for that invasion from the
planet Mars.
LUKE M’LUKK SAYS
( From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
You can make a woman madder by
ignoring her than you can by calling her
, names.
When a girl marries she usually loses
a good friend and gets a grouchy
boarder.
1 Politics is one of our most popular
: sports because you can talk it all day
and not know a blame thing about it.
When they are engaged they imagine
* that they can get along with one chair
’ when they go to housekeeping. But after
} they have been married for awhile they
want two different bedroom suites.
The lad who loafs around and owes
everybody in town is the same fellow
■ who is deeply worried because the
Panama canal isn’t paying expenses.
The old-fashioned poker player who
used to walk uround his chair to change
* his luck now has a son who can deal a
1 diamond from the bottom when his stack
gets low’.
Before he gets her he thinks she is a
. humming bird. After he gets her he dis
covers that she is a screech owl.
Conscience may help Borne. But the
. fear of getting caught is what keeps
. most of us straight.
A woman may have no aim in life.
But she alw-ays seems to hit the target
when she starts out to shoot friend hus
• band.
There isn't any fun in fishing if you
have to catch fish for a living.
Before she gets him she believes all he
tells her about his prowess as an ath
lete. After she gets him she discovers
> that about the only sport he excels in
• is throwing the bull.
Once in aw-hile father will play foxy
when he comes home with a fine bun on,
, and he will carefully hide his money so
mother won’t find it. And then he will
' get up with a big head and a dazed feel
ing and stall around for an hour trying
to remember where he hid the blame
- money.
x The first baby gets a silver mug, a
gold ring, an ivory rattle and about $20C
worth of fine baby clothes. But the
sixth baby is lucky is it gets two nap
1 kins and a 10-cent box of cornstarch.
3 Most of men wdio are seeking posi
tions are dodging Jobs.
The man who has 10 or 11 hairs on his
3 dome always pities a bald-headed man.
It Is hard to be a good Christian and
regard a man as Charitable when he
owes you 110 and contributes a dollar tc
the poor heathen in Africa.
About the time daughter has made a
l real hit with the young man w ho is hei
last chance, father will walk into the
front room where daughter and her beat
y* are courting and father will want tc
know w’here in Sam Hill daughter pul
1 his safety razor after she got througfc
using it.
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Draining Land* With Tile
“There are thousands of acres of
waste lands in the south which can
be turned into the garden spots of the
world,” said J. A. Ml Isom yesterday, “if
the farmers will properly drain their
lands with tile.
“I know of a farm right here in Jef
ferson county w hich had not been rais
ing sufficient crops to pay for the seed
planted. A year or so ago its owners
secured the services of the United
States government drainage engineer,
Lewis A. Jones, whose offices are at
Montgomery, and whose services to the
farmers of the state are free. Mr.
Jones made a drainage plan for this
farm I mention and the drains were
put in.
“I am nowr informed that where be
fore it would raise nothing this land
after having four-inch tile put under
it last year produced 60 bushels of
oats per acre, one ton of peavine hay
per acre and where before it pro
duced 10 bushels of corn it now pro
duces 60 bushels of corn per acre.
“Figuring corn at $1 per bushel, the
price for which it sells in this district,
a clear gain of $50 per acre was mad*3
on that land in one year by drain
ing it.”
(ironih of Soccer Football
“I am glad to note that interest in
soccer football is increasing in the Bir
mingham district,” said Dave Kelso, as
sistant mine inspector.
“For the past several years those of
us who introduced the game in this sec
tion of the country have endeavored to
get the public interested but it seemed
to no avail.
“However, this season I am glad to
say that greater interest lias been shown
than ever before and we feel that the
time is not far distant when soccer foot
ball will be as popular everywhere as
the Americanized Rugby game that at
tracts greater crowds and inspires great
er enthusiasm than any game played in
the United States."
■—— *
I’nMxiiiK Stationary Street t nr»
"A much needed ordinance of the city
of Birmingham is one to prevent auto
mobiles passing by a street car which
has stopped to take up passengers,” said
a traveling man.
"While standing near the Molton ho
tel on Fifth avenue yesterday I noticed
a number of persons waiting to take
the Tidewater car. Just as it approached
and they left the sidewalk to embark
an automobile came along and while the
driver gave the warning with his horn
and the intending passengers fell back,
yet he came near running over a lady
with a small child in her arms who was
leaving the car by the front entrance.
Had the lady not turned toward the
approaching auto and stepped back to
ward the car she would certainly have
been run down. In many of the eastern
cities suen an ordinance is in effect and
in view of tlie many people who travel
on street cars in Birmingham, public
safety demands that it be adopted here.”
Ilrniurkalilc Improvement
"Within the past two months there lias
been a remarkable improvement in busi
ness conditions in the northern half of the
state,” said George Johnston of Johnston
Bros. Company, wholesale dry goods mer
chants.
"At tin- beginning of tlie European war
the clouds of business depression seemed
to gather with alarming rapidity, and
those men wno had large uncollected
debts scattered through tlie state began to
see imaginary distress signals on every
hand. My firm at first ceased to push
its sales and concentrated attention on
the collecting end of the business. We
were very successful In efforts to collect
overdue accounts, and soon found our
business on a first-class financial basis.
Many retailers who could not settle in
full made part payments and Ulus evi
denced a willingness to meet Just obliga
tions.
"In view of satisfactory arrangement*
completed in this end of the business we
arc now enabled to again feci free to
put new vigor into selling efforts. We
cover territory surrounding Birmingham
for a radius of 100 miles or more; and
the new year finds a great part of tills
field in fairly good condition. There is
now strong evidence that business in the
industuial sections of tlie state will be
come especially active in tlie near fu
ture, ami we are preparing to take ad
vantage of all the goods tilings tlie new
year may bring forth."
Moek Trial Bt 1. ill. C. A,
"On Friday night at 8 o'clock a very
interesting event will be held in the audi
torium of tlie central building of the Bir
mingham Young Men's Christian associa
tion," said General Secretary W. S. Stal
lings.
"The public may come prepared for joy
ous entertainment. President of tlie City
Commission Geoerge B. Ward will appear
as defendant in a breach of promise suit.
Miss Jessie May Perkins, a charming
young lady and prominent in social circles
of the city, will act as complainant. C.
P. Beddow and Borden Burr, well-known
members of tlie Birmingham bar, will act
as prosecuting attorneys, while Hugo
Black and J. H, Hale will make pleas
in behalf of the defendant. Oscar C.
Turner will act as sheriff, and to him will
fall the selection of the jury. Ladies will
hot be barred. The other members of the
Birmingham commission will probably be
present, and for tlie night at least the
burden of municipal cares will probablj
be forgotten in the pleasures of the hour
Birmingham will be well represented so
cially, and proceedings will become live
ly and mirth-provoking in the extreme
The scandal which will be fully aired li
expected to be highly edifying to those li
attendance.”
CAN DISARMAMENT BE EFFECTIVE
Whenever talk of the re-establishmen'
of peace after the present war comes up
disarmament or the reduction of arm*
ments is suro to be an important issue
Just how the nations shall effect a pro
gramme of disarming is a vexed ques
tlon. The Encyclopaedia BritaVmtea cite;
as "the only existing case of contractua
reduction of armaments," the disarms
ment agreement of May 28, 1902, betweer
the Chilian and Argentine republics. Bj
fids agreement the two governments ar
ranged to reduce tiieir fleets "accordlnt
to an arrangement establishing a reaton
able proportion between the two fleets
and respectively promised not to Increase
their maritime armaments during five
years, unless the one who shall wish t(
Increase them shall give the other li
months notice In advance." ,
The Britannica authority points out tha
an agreemnet of this kind Is more teas
Ibly among states whose navies are small
because in the case of large navies i
would be difficult to agree on a principle
for assessment of the proportionate fight
lng value of the respective fleets. Evei
comparatively slight differences in thi
ages of ships may make great different
In their fighting value.
WAR ECHOES
New York Herald: At the beginning of
the war It was said that several of the
nations had surprises in store for their
enemies and the world. There were won
derful military and naval inventions that
had been kept inviolably secret In spite
of modern pervasive media of publicity
and that were to be sprung on the foe
when least expected.
Five months of war have now passed
and the one supreme surprise for the
world is that highly civilized nations do
not seem to have realized the awful loss
of men that would be involved. The 42
cer.tlmetre gun that reduces forts thought
almost impregnable in a few days, is as
nothing compared to the lo^s of more
titan 3,000,000 men in killed, wounded and
missing, which, according to apparently
conservative estimates, the Germans and
Austrians have suffered up to this time.
They were the attacking party, whose
losses are inevitably by far heavier than
those of the defenders, but if the allies'
casualties and losses be added the fig
ures are probably above 5,000.000—all in
less than five months. No surprise that
can possibly be sprung during the war in
its furthest development can by any
even distant chance equal In the effect
produced on the world the utterly
astounding impression due to such figures
In human units.
St. Louis Post-Dispatch: Delicate ques
tions will be raised, the press dispatches
say, if Germany refuses longer to recog
nize the diplomatic and consular officers
in Belgium who were accredited to King
Albert’s government and demands that
they be accredited to her own adminis
trators in that country.
They are Indeed delicate. Compliance
with the demand would be an admission
by neutral countries that the German oc
cupation is permanent and would be most
embarrassing to England and the allies.
We may be sure, however, that our gov
ernment’s course will not be precipitate,
that it will act in accordance with the
facts and that it will deal justly with
both sides. Minister Whitlock will be
guided vy policies of prudence and mod
ern tion.
Of one thing the world may be certain:
Neither the United States government
nor Mr. Whitlock will, to gain a tempo
rary advantage, or what appears to be
an advantage, attempt to play the part of
selfish mischief-making which it is so
easy to play during the swift changes
brought about by war.
In other words, the course of Washing
ton and. Minister Whitlock in Belgium will
bo in violent contrast witli the course of
London and Minister Lionel Carden in
Mexico when war gave rise to some deli
cate diplomatic questions in that coun
try, also.
We shall become responsible for no acts
in Belgium on which, no matter what the
result of the war, we would have to look
back with the chagrin with which Eng
land must now look back on the acts of
Trouble-Maker Carden at Mexico City.
BELGIAN FARMS
From the Survey.
“Imperishable Belgium" is the title un
der which Bruno Lasker, discusses in
The Survey the co-operative developments
in agriculture and industry in the “cock
pit of Europe.’’ From his wide studies
of these activities, he says:
“In agriculture generally, the co-opera
tion of government official and culti
vator in Belgium is more successful than
in most other states. In a country o!
small and very small holdings, this, of
course, is a matter of supreme Impor
tance.
“Not counting plots of less than one
acre, the average size of ‘farms’ in Bel
gium is no more than 14Va acres, com
pared with 24 acres in France, 33^ in
Prussia, 49 in Denmark, and 63 in Great
Britain. Needless to say, this includes
a vast number of holdings on which a
family cannot exist but which form an
important contribution to their income.
“Five acres of land may produce a
mere trifle or, as in the case of the
grape-growing district, outside the gates
of Brussels, be enough for a satisfac
tory livelihood. It all depends on the
skill with which the particular holding
is put to Its best use. Although much
headway is made in other European coun
tries, and in the United States, also,
with tlie organization of agricultural edu
cation, the Belgian system can claim to
be unique in its completeness and in the
thoroughness wilh which it reaches and
teaches eevry class of cultivators.
“Even more important than the educa
tional help w’hich the Belgian farmer ac
cepts from those who are able* to give it,
is his co-operation with his fellow'-culti- !
vators. There is hardly a village which
has not its co-operative Society and hardly
a society which does not contain the ma
jority of men in the district who are eligi
ble for membership. Some of the or
ganizations were established years ago by
the government and are still partly sup
ported by it. Others are founded by pri
vate endeavor.
“The state-aided societies are doing
most excellent work by the organization
and support of agricultural shows and
•the supervision of experiment stations.
Some of the larger of these societies have
libraries and museums, carry on research,
and organize local societies for mutual
insurance, purchase, sale, improvement
of stock, and similar undertakings.”
A DRY, DRY WAY TO SAN FRANCISCO
From the New York World.
A California representative spent the
chill hours of day-after Christmas trying
to find out whether the war, navy or state
department will manage the ships that
convey the congressional party to the San
Frrncisco exposition. If the navy depart
ment does it, Secretary Daniels’ “dry”
1 order will make it “a funeral trip,” und “I
am quite certain that most members will
prefer to go overland.”
Sad thoughts are to be awakened which
ever way the statesmen go. If they leave
an almost dry Washington by Uncle
Josephus’ virtuous vessels, they must gaze
gloomily down the Atlantic upon water,
water everywhere, and not a drop of any
thing else to drink. At Panama is no rest
for the thirsty; Colonel Goethals, prohib
ited by Congress from opening canteens,
is in Washington complaining that his
men “go to Panama or Colon, outside of
the zone, and drink too much.” At the
end of the equally arid Pacific leagues
they will come to a state still well irri
i gated but shaken by saddening conflict
i between wine producers and prohibition
1 lsts.
As for the overland route, some of the
Golden Gate man’s middle western col
leagues can whisper, with parched lips,
, of whole states passed through where
: local law compels the dusky “pohtah” to
! lock the buffet as tight as the Ugliest
■ drum. And these states are longest east
i and west! Fewer miles may incline Con
s giess to the land route; but it is literally
i Hobson’s choice. From a dry, dry way
to San Francisco there is no escape.
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES I
ANENT SOME RECENT ERRORS.
A word to my friends, the complfaftors
swift—
I hope it is not too emphatical:
Mistakes now and then are made by all
men,
But 1 hate to appear ungrammatical.
A FULL. STOCKING.
“Santa Claus apparently has gifts to
please everybody.”
“Yes. It seems that there is nothing he
doesn’t keep in stock. He brought one
woman of my acquaintance a divorce
with alimony and the custody of the
poodle."
DELIGHTED THEN.
“I fear Miss Gadders is hard to please."
“I know a time when she Isn't hard to
please.”
“Name it.”
“When she stands before her mirror."
THE COMMON FOE.
There are some people who Hffirin
They have no fear of any germ,
But when the summer draweth nigh
They rise betimes and swat the fly.
CERTAINLY NOT.
“Baseball players and newspaper men
seem to fraternize a great deal."
“Yes, but there's a decided difference
between a baseball player and a news
paper man.”
“In what respect?”
“A newspaper man is never offered a
bonus of $10,000 to Jump from one paper
to another.”
OUR KIDS.
It's hard to think our baby kids,
The cunning little friskers,
In course of time will have bald lids
And flowing whiskers.
—Louisville Courier-Journal.
It’s hard to think the little pets
Will act like other fogies;
That they will make election bets fl^fl
And smoke strong stogies.
—Charlie Leedy in Youngstown Telegram. ^^fl
And it is hard to think our girls, (I
Our Myrts and Stellas, fl
Will rouge their cheeks and. twist their fl
curls fl
To charm such fellows. fl
—Houston Post. fl
And harder still to think that they ^fl
Who re now so sweet and charming
Their curves and dimples passed away, fl
Young blood no longer warming fl
Their sluggish veins, in after years, fl
These Bells and Nells and Fannies, fl
Will sit with trumpets In their ears fl
And be somebodies’ grannies. fl
A LAMBLIKE LION.' I
“Well, did you have that social lion ai^yfl
your reception that you were telling me t|§
about?” fl
"Oh, yes. He was there.” fl
“And did he roar?” fl
“No. His wife was also present and he Ffl
could only bleat.” * fl
RATHER OLD-FASHIONED KIND. jl
“I like to see a house with all modern fl
improvements.” fl
‘‘So do I.”
“But a woman of that sort doesn’t look I
human.” fl
THE IDEA! ||
“I cant endure Twobble’s presumption.” fl
“What’s he been doing now?” fl
“He tried to tell me who’s to blame for fl
the war in Europe when he knows I’ve fl
been abroad and he hasn’t!” H
’TWOULD, INDEED. yfl
Life's road would be ;<J|
A smoother way, fl
If people who fl
Have naught to say fl
Would not more oft fl
Than once a week fl
Get up somewhere fl
And try to speak. §fg
PAUL COOK. fl
Cl
ALABAMA’S OPPORTUNITY 1
From the Mobile Item.
IN a short time the Panama-Pacific
International exposition will be
thrown open and hundreds of thou
sands of people will flock to the Golden
coast for the big event. Up to the pres
ent time every state In the union except
Alabama, New' Mexico and Rhode Island
has made arrangements for a suitable
building wherein to exploit the products
of farm, field and factory." Will Alabama
let the great opportunity slip away?
Tis true the state is not rich from a
financial standpoint, the strong box at
the capitol, according to information,
having the appearance of father’s purse
following the Christmas shopping by the
family. But while the state is poor in
funds she is rich beyond compare inso
far as her products are concerned and
this ’wealth should not be allowed to re
main hidden from the view of the multi
tudes who will visit the exposition and
gaze upon the exhibits of other states
which in themselves will speak in unmis
takable tones the inducements to those
seeking new homes in which to live or
new places wherein to invest their capi
tal.
The state of Alabama has much to offer
in this particular—more, in fact, than
many of her sister states. And the Pan
ama-Pacific exposition will be a splendid
medium for letting the truth be known.
Granted that the hue and cry has gone
up from every hill and valley for re
trenchment in administering the affairs
of the state government in order that the
financial status may be improved, would
it bo a waste of good money to have the
legislature appropriate a sum sufficient
to properly place the products of Alabama
before the world? As wre take it the
only way to attract capital to the state
is l>y judicious expenditure of money in
presenting to those seeking openings for
investment object lessons of what Ala
bama has to offer. Every dollar thus
expended would come back to the state
more than 100 fold eventually. The Item j
voices the sentiment of The Birmingham
Age-Herald in its advocacy of a .state i!
building and exhibit at the exposition [
when it says:
“There are reasons, sentimental and
material. In the first place, this state,
through one of its sods, did more than
any other state toward the conception of
a policy which resulted in the construc
tion of the Panama canal. In the second !
place, this state is closer than any other ^
to the Panama canal, and should reap
the greatest profit from the trade revo- *
lution which that canal will precipitate.
In the third place, there is the argument
of state pride. Alabama cannot afford
to be one of three states unable to con
struct a building on the grounds. Ala
bama, with various and excellent prod
ucts, cannot afford to lose the opportun- l
ity to display them.
“The argument, as a matter of fact, is
‘all one way.’ No man can offer and sus
tain a reason why Alaabma should not be
represented. i
“Therefore, it is palpably the duty of
tho legislature to make the adequate ap
propriation. The project is one which the
state rather than the people of the 3tate
must finance. The Age-Herald feels cer- *'
tain that the money expended would in 1
the long run be returned not dollar for
dollar, but quadrupled. And It is certain
that unless the appropriation is made,
Alabama will suffer irreparably as a re
sult of its foolish economy and lack of t
pride in itself.”
BARGE-DWELLERS OF NEW YORK
Winfield Thompson, in Harper's Maga
zine for January.
Tiie lot of the harbor bargeman is not
one for commiseration. He is far more
independent and content than his neigh
bors in the fetid hives of the tenement
districts which he sees from his barge as
he floats past the river foot of East
Side streets. At evening Ills floating home
is moored in a quiet dock. He may sit
on his bit of dock and enjoy his after
supper pipe in quiet, as he gazes upon
the darkling ripples of the water and lis
tens to the dying roar of the city's busy
day. His wife sits beside him, putting the
last stitches in a gingham garment for
their, child, who already is in his bunk.
Thelifc cabin Is bright and clean, with
out and within. White paint and green
trimmings, a bit of striped awning and a
little flagstaff, are its outward embellish
ments. Muslin curtains at its tiny win
dows, geraniums on the sills, a cheery
nickel clock on its own shelf above the
stove, a neat re dtable cloth, a home
made braided rug upon a bright oil
cloth—these give character to the living
room, or "galley.” Within is the bed
room, perhaps 6 by 8 feet, with a white
iron bed and a bunk above its foot, in
which the son and heir sleeps peacefully.
There may be a cottage In New Jersey or
down Long Island sound waiting this
worthy couple when winter’s ice closes
the Hudson and ends their season’s work;
but they make the barge their home while
on it. Some of these barge homes shelter
families of five or six persons. On some
of the large covered railroad barges the
skipper’s house is on the rof. Its dimen
sions may be 10 by 30 feet, affording three
rooms. In the "parlor” one would not
be surprised to find a sofa, a music ma
chine and racks of records, and family
portraits in crayon, all according to usage
ashore; while the captain, being in a
sporting turn, takes his family to sail
on a Sunday in a gorgeously painted
punt of his own building, with leeboards
to make it Weatherly, and a sail setting
as neatly as the canvas of a cup de
fender.
WHERE KILLING COMES EASY
From Harper's Magazine.
Papua has long been known as a bloody
land. It is a bloody land still. But the
blood of white men is rarely let; and the
wanton slaughter of natives, the one by
the other—at least in those fast widening
regions which are within the sphere of
the law—is fast diminishing. All this be
ing so. in one year, nevertheless, when
there were 218 prisoners committed fur
trial, 118 of them were charged with mur
der, nine with manslaughter, and five
with attempted murder. To the civilized
mind the motives to murder, shocking
enough, to be sure—nor wanting an aspect
of gruesome humor—are upon occasion
incredible. As they ars matters of record,
however, disclosed upon painstaking In
realisation, they are to be accepted, not
is irresponsible talcs, such as wander
shout the eastern seas, but as substantial \
tacts, however singular and incopipre- vi
Sensible they may appear. It is a matter
>f court record, for example, that certain I
natives of what is called the Coast Range, I
being upon trial for the murder of two |
carriers, whose throats they had cut, ad- j-i
mitted the deed without the least hesita- *
tion, and sought to justify the ghastly
business upon the ground that the car
riers had appeared to be “cold and hun- fc
gry“—dejected fellows, far away from
their village. The prisoners had not eaten
the carriers. They bad merely—with the
most considerate expedition—cut the
throats of the carriers, who were
strangers, at any rate, and therefore of
no great consequence; and no ingenuity
of cross-questioning could elicit a motive
ulterior to the one so ingenuously ad
vanced—that the carriers, appearing to be
“cold and hungry,” were, in the opinion k
of the gentlemen who had incontinently t)
cut their throats, much better dead. A
similar case of merciful extermination | [
concerned a young native, employed to
shoot game for a white planter, who en- 8
countered a sick man (Papuan) on the
road, near by a river, and strangled him
to death. Upon trial he explained that '
the sick man had created annoyance, and
a considerable embarrassment, as well,
by insistently requesting to be carried
across the river to the other side, whence
his way law forward to his village.
“Quite so,” said the presiding officer.
“Why, then, didn't you carry him across
the river?” \
“He was too heavy,” replied the native.
“It would have put me to a great deal of
trouble.” I
“Why did you kill him?” jl
“What else could I do? The man was
sick.”
It was out of the question to endure the *
labor of carrying the sick man across the
river. It was equally out of the question
t,» abandon the pitiable object. Therefore
the bewildered fellow had strangled him—
the most obvious way out of a dilemma
which bade fair to distress his feelings.
EVEN AS THE BEASTS
By Lord Byron.
There is no hope for nations!—Search the
page
Of many thousand years—the dally %
scene, "
The flow and ebb of each recurring age, j
The everlasting To Be and Hath Been,
Hath taught us naught, or little; still we
lean
On things that rot beneath our weight and
wear
Our strength away in wrestling with the
air;
For ’tis our nature strikes us down; the
beasts
Slaughtered in hourly hecatombs for feasts 1
Are of as high an order—they muat go ^
Even where their driver goads them^HI
though to slaughter.
Ye men, who pour your blood for Kings
as water. |
What have they given your children in I
return?
A heritage of servitude and woes,
A blindfold bondage, where your hira la
blows!