The Birmingham age-herald. [volume], May 05, 1915, Page 4, Image 4

About The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950

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THE AGE-HERALD
K. W. BAItKKTT.Editor
Entered at the Birmingham, Ala.,
Lost office as second class matter un*
j der act of Congress March 3. 187a.
Daily and Sundty Age-Herald.... $8.10
Daily and Sunday, per month.
;> Dally and Sunday, three mouths.. 2.no
! Weekly Age-Herald, per'annum., .of
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ized traveling representatives of The
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ment
No communication will be published
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manuscript will not be returned un
less stamps are enclosed for that pur
pose.
| Remittances can be made at current
late of exchange. The Age-Herald will
Hot be responsible for money sent
through the mails. Address.
THE AG E- IIER A ED,
Birmingham. Ala.
Washington bureau, 207 Hibbs build
ing.
European bureau. 6 Henrietta street.
Covent Garden, J^ondon.
!j Eastern business office. Rooms 4s to
60. inclusive. Tribune building, New
“York city; western business office,
Tribune building, Chicago. The S. C.
! Beckwith Special Agency, agents lor
| tign advertising.
TELEPHONE
Bell (private nohsnse cossfctln* all
departments) Main 4000,
The worst Is—death, and death will
j have his day. —Richard II.
| BEGINNING THE DAY-o God,
help me to demand for myself no
aped a I privilege. Take away from
me even the secret desire for It. May
I accept life share nnd share alike
with all the world. Give me to know
hut one King, bnt to count myself
■o better than any oilier. lor ■
Christ’s sake. Amen.—II. M. E.
___—- I
Wiping Out Typhoid
The American Medical association
has recently issued a report of its in
vestigation of the typhoid plague in
this country—if indeed it can be called
a plague any longer. The report
shows most encouraging progress to
ward wiping out this disease which in
the past has wrought such havoc to
human life.
Reports have been compiled show
ing conditions in fifty-seven of the
large cities of this country, compvi»
ing nearly one-fourth of the popula
tion of the country, and therefore
show quite accurately the typhoid
condition as it exists.
It is found that now only ten deaths
for every hundred thousand result an
nually from typhoid. This is a won
derful reduction in fatality. As an ex
ample of what is being done to wipe
typhoid out. Pittsburg presents some
interesting figures. For the period
| between 1906 and 1910 Pittsburg had
the highest death rate from typhoid
of any American city, there being
sixty-five deaths per hundred thou
sand population. This has been re- I
duced to but 16.8 in the same city last i
year.
jjBure water and pure milk have been
ttie -principal influence in decreasing
typhoid, and continued effort toward
purity in these two essentials will
practically wipe out the disease. The
i cities have awakened to the necessity
of action along this line, but unfor
tuantely the same degree of activity
has not characterized all rural dis
tricts, where there is necessarily less
organization.
More attention is, however, being
i paid every year to sanitation in and
about the rural homes of the country,
with corresponding decrease in ty
phoid and other contagious diseases,
j: What the cities have done in spite
i bf congested conditions and the easy
spread of contagion resulting from
t it', can if organized as well as in
dividual effort is made in country dis
tricts, be more than duplicated.
The water supply of the farm
should be free from contamination.
Wells should be protected from all
seepage that would polute the water.
Prompt disposition of waste matter
and careful screening from flies, will
do the rest.
9 - »T- ■■ —■
Clowns in Office
Mayor James Rolph, Jr., of San
Francisco, who made a speech at the
dedicatory exercises of the Turkish
building at the Panama-Pacific ex
position, gave an exhibition of bad
form and execrable humor which was
equaled by that of William Bailey La- j
inar, acting as representative of the
United States government. Mr. La
mar alluded in his address to the
# “terrible Turk,” the “unspeakable
Turk” and the "Sick Man of Europe.”
.When he had finished Vahan Car
dashian, the Turkish high commis
sioner to the Panama-Pacific ex
position rose and said, in reply to Mr.
•'.» Lamar:
. “The major portion of the troubles
of Turkey and her backward place as
• nation are due to the efforts of the
Christian powers of Europe to divide
up for themselves the sick man, who
refuses to be divided. I have been one
* of the keenest critics of the faults and
abnormalities of Turkish government,
but I have been just as keenly disap
pointed in the humanity and morality
of the Christian nations as I have been
in the want of intelligence of the rul
ing powers of Turkey.”
Mayor Rol|jh indulged in time-worn
wheezes about Thanksgiving turkey
and joked about the marriage customs
in the Ottomap empire. When he had
f‘,
M
'finished his speech Cardashian said:
.‘‘The mayor made a very good speech.
; I had thought of asking for a copy to
j send to Constantinople, but on second
(thought it might result in his being
| made mayor of Constantinople. And
(then Mrs. Rolph would suffer.”
His sally is reported to have been
j received with laughter and applause
that continued until Mayor Rolph,
with a crimson face, rose and showed
his hapd. Under the circumstances
that was the best thing Mr. Rolph
could do. He and Mr. Lamar failed
in their efforts to be humorous and
showed themselves painfully lacking
in courtesy to a friendly foreign na
tion. The Turk has his good points, a
great many of them, and whether a
public official thinks him a fit subject
for jesting or not, to belittle the Turk
ish people in the presence of one of
their national representatives and on
an occasion like that at San Francisco
is unpardonable.
If Messrs. Rolph and Lamar have
been correctly quoted they deserved
the squelching they received from the
Turkish commissioner, who is himself
a graduate of Harvard.
Mrs. Hundley's Brief
Twenty, or even ten, years ago the
people of Alabama would have thought
a movement for woman suffrage ab
surd and therefore not to be seriously
considered. But public sentiment on
this question has gradually changed.
In some states of the union where
equal suffrage is already a fact, and
in England, once so staid and con
servative, where a suffrage agita
tion was in progress, the suffragists
or suffragettes have been violent; in
England revolutionary and incendiary.
But in Alabama the suffragists are
of a different type. The leaders of
the equal suffrage movement are rep
resentative of the best womanhood of
the south. Their methods have been
along orderly lines and they have en
deavored to win a strong following
among the men of the state by ap
pealing to reason rather than by
working upon the emotions. They
have been conducting an earnest but
a very quiet campaign and as a re
sult the cause has many more ad
herents than it otherwise could have
claimed.
Mrs. Bossie O’Brien Hundley, as
chairman of the legislative committee
of the Alabama Equal Suffrage as
sociation, has issued a brief in behalf
of pending bills and constitutional
amendments seeking to confer the
right of suffrage upon the women of
Alabama. It is addressed to the mem
bers of the recess joint committee on
judiciary and is in accordance with
their request.
Some briefs are voluminous, but
Mrs. Hundley’s is not. In pamphlet
form it covers only eight pages.
After presenting the facts concern
ing pending legislation Mrs. Hundley
states the question at issue thus:
The legislators who shall vote In
favor of these measures which we have
caused to be Introduced will thereby
simply register themselves as being In
favor of allowing the male etiuvns of
Alabama to decide at the next gene ^
election whether or not the female cit
izens shall be clothed with the same
rights and privileges as they: whether
the female taxpayers of the state shall
have a voice In the government under
which they live and which they help
to support.
As chairman of the legislative com
mittee Mrs. Hundley makes a forceful
appeal with the hope that the mem
bers of the legislature constituting
the joint committee on judiciary will
recommend to the two houses the
remedial legislation which the suf
frage association asks. It is a reason
able appeal. Let the present voters
be permitted to say through the ballot
whether or not they are in favor of
extending the suffrage to the women
of the state.
The Tale of a Dog j
From Bartlesville, Okla., there'
emanates a story which is vouched
for by a newspaper of that place, and
which must have a tendency to bring
to “the lords of creation” in Bartles
ville a feeling of humility and a new
respect for woman’s sense of humor.
For, be it known, there is at least
one woman in Bartlesville who pos
sesses grim humor that not only ap
peals to the imagination but com
mands respect.
This woman, according to reports,
has another virtue—that of scrupulous
honesty. And when the date arrived,
a few days ago, for annual payment
of dog taxes, she promptly appeared
before the city clerk and paid the tax
on her pet. While waiting in the lobby
of the office several men made merry
at her expense, laughing at her for
paying a tax which they boasted it
was their custom to evade.
The woman listened patiently to
their comments, then quietly made
her way to a telephone booth. She
called up the dog catcher and told him
where certain men of Bartlesville kept
their dogs, on which they paid no tax.
Upon their return home that even
| ing, these men found the dog catcher
had taken their pets to the town
pound, where they would be held
pending payment of delinquent dog
tax!
To the admonition ‘boast not”
might well be added “in the presence
of the modern woman.”
Baltazar Avilez. former governor of
Lower California, and Geronimo San
doval of San Diego are on trial in Ijos
Angeles charged with conspiracy t*»
violate American neutrality by sending
■arms into Mexico. Meanwhile, Bethlehem
steel stock has been soaring skyward
i because of the receipt of orders for
arms from European nations running
millions of dollars. Certainly neutral
ity seems not to have the stability of
the metal involved.
"The aeroplane that drops its bomb
from above and the submarine that snoots
its torpedo from below are less to be
feared than the schooner that crosses the
bar," says Mr. Bryan. Due, no doubt, to
the much greater activity of the schooner.
New York coffin makers have de
cided to postpone their strike until the
death rate of that city shall have in
creased by reason of hot weather. The
coffin makers are alive to the main
idea.
A Wisconsin man who claimed to have
lost his memory had it restored by a
woman's tongue lashing. The galvanising
qualities of a sharp tongue have been a
subject of remark for ages.
"Why do poets fail to rhapsodize over
the delights of rhubarb pie?" asks the
Chicago News. Probably because they
recognize a good thing when they see it.
Kansas City is planning a "prosperity
parade." In Birmingham returning pros
j parity Is so evident it doesn’t have to be
dressed up and taken out for an airing.
England has about decide^ to tax liquor
almost out of the country. It will prob
ably be a surprise to see what a load of
taxes some British subjects can carry.
Judging from recent pictures, Ger
man photographers have no difficulty
In catohing Germany's war prisoners
wearing a pleased expression.
----t—
A "Gentleman Raffles" recently con
fessed his sins with so much contrition
that the judge was moved. Wonder what
became of his mocking smile?
Travelers to the San Francisco fair
will find that the most interesting "ex
hibits’* of the far west were not de
signed by the hand of man.
Still. It is hardly probable that this coun
try and Germany will go to war, simply
because a Harvard student won a prize
for an anti-German poem.
"Cigarette beetles" have eaten all the
padding out of the upholstered furniture
in the White House. More of the people’s
money gone up in smoke.
It is really too bad tHat Dr. Kuno Meyer
feels aggrieved, but it is impossible to do
an>thing with u person who can't see hut
one side of a question.
Tlie peace delegates at The Hague are
finding it difficult to make themselves
heard in the war zone, but the grand old
U. 8. A. is listening.
persons wno cannot artord a netv ear |
tills year, may alter the appearance of 1
their last year’s model by a new stylo
of windshield.
War is being made against the dandelion
in Kansas City, and tons of the weed have
been dug up. Thai's going to the root of
the trouble.
If Mr. Barnes merely succeeded in
launching a presidential boom for T. R.
he will feel the need of a kicking ma
chine.
To some dwellers In cities life is just
one flat after another until the under
taker removes them to a permanent
abode.
A stupid deliveryman left a bassinet at
the White House, instead of at Secretary
McAdoo's house, and the secret was out.
War In trenches filled with water has
resulted In many cold feet, both in a
literal and a figurative sense.
The auto bandit is not always a young
man with a gun and a stolen car. Some
times he runs a repair shop.
Some of the language attributed to Jess
Willard Indicates that an intelligent press
agent has been on the job.
There Is no breach of neutrality, of I
course. In an exhibition of paintings by
Swedlsh-Amerlcan artists.
The Russian prisoner says "Nltchevo,"
which seems to he the Russian equiva
lent of "lsh ka bibble."
Los Angeles recently met Old Man
Winter himself for the first time In
more than 30 years.
If Boss Platt were alive now the Situa
tion at Syracuse would be greatly compli
cated.
It Is presumed that the windmills are
still running full time in Holland.
WHAT ADVERTISING DOES
From Leslie's.
Advertising: Fortunes have been made
by advertising, yet how seldom are pub
lications given credit for th • achieve
ments. It Is refreshing, now and then,
to hear a frank acknowledgment of the
wonderful power of advertising. 8everal
of these testimonials have unexpectedly
been given of late. They deserve men
tion. At the annual meeting of the
Corn Products Refining company, a mes
sage from President E. T. Bedford was
read in which, while excusing hla ab
sence because of the necessity of at
tending the hearing of the government’s
suit against the company, he said that
the government's witnesses had testi
fied that where the Corn Products com
pany had a greater percentage of the
business, it was due largely to liberal
advertising. The Wall Straet Journal
says that the late N. W. Halsey, the well
known New York banker, shortly before
hiB death, said to one of hla associates:
“I never could have built up this busi
ness to the point I have. In the time
I have, unless 1 had advertised regu- ■
larly from the start." Recently Presi
dent C. M. Woolley, of the American
Radiator company, paid a tribute to ad
vertising publicity as one of the prin
cipal factors in the steady growth of
his company t business. The successful
business men are those who advertise
most freely during periods of depression
and who thus obtain the business that
drops away from the non-advertiser. This
is the kind of business, too, that
"•ticks."
/
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Talking Prosperity
“The industrial situation in the Bir
mingham district has been Improving
steadily since the first of the year and
everybody now is talking prosperity,*’
said Felix M. Drennen.
“Here In the city the retail trade did
not feel at once the benefit of the ac
tive operations at the big industries. But
the merchants are feeling something of
the general prosperity now I believe we
are entering upon a long period of good
times.”
Leek 17 Celebration
“May 13. when we celebrate the com
pletion of lock 17 and when Secretary of
War Garrison and many other distin
guished public men will be present to
participate in the momentous event, will
be a great holiday occasion in Birming
ham,’’ said W. Blanks Everett, assistant
secretary of the Chamber of Commerce.
“The opening of the Warrior for navi
gation from tills mineral district to the
gulf will be of such far reaching im
portance that the people generally have
not fully realised what the lock 17 cele
bration means. But hundreds of Bir
mingham citizens will visit the lock May
13, and after hearing the addresses and
taking in the scope of the open Warrior
as a traffic proposition the public will
be aroused to a high pitch of enthusi
asm.”
Open Air Music
“As some one suggested in the Lobby
Column a few days ago, it might be well
If the ladies of the Music Study club were
to organize a campaign for popular sub
scriptions for the park concert fund,” said
a citizen lond noted for hlh public spirit.
“General appeals made for popular sub
scriptions for the band fund have met
with only meagfer response in the past,
but if every corner drug store and cigar
store were a soliciting agency we might
have excellent results. But I have great
faith in the ability of the officers and
committee workers of the Music Study
club to devise wavs and means. We are
indebted to them for delightful park con
certs in the past and they will provide
something good again this summer."
BlrmlngkaitTs Shade Trees
“It is readily surprising to note the
large number of shade trees that are lo
cated along the sidew'alks of the city of
Birmingham," said a member of the city
beautiful committee. “That they add to
the appearance of the city cannot be ques
tioned and in my opinion ought to be care
fully preserved. I have noticed that quite
a number need ‘trimming;’ that is. the
cutting off of dead and useless limbs
which would add so much to the beauty
and symmetry of the trees.
“Then again their appearance is great
ly enhanced by a coating of whitewash
on the trunk, and which aids to preserve
the trees as well. Tree culture has gained
much prominence during the past few’
years, and specialists who study the meth
ods of preservation are much in demand.
An abundance of shade trees is an asset
to any city, and Birmingham should take
the best of care of those so plenteously
planted within her borders."
Business improvement General
"There has been a great deal of pros
perity in the west for some months past,
and now prosperity is prevailing in other
sections." said Charles F. Charton of
Phladephla.
"Business is fairly humming in the east.
Last fall depression was more acute than
I had ever known it. But it ta now strid
ing forward ami everybody I meet is
buoyant. The European war was respon
sibe for a great deal of our trouble. It
certainly caused the bottom to drop out
of the cotton market, and that, of course,
made hard times In the south.
"in January business began to Improve,
but the Improvement was very slow. In
April the improvement gained good speed,
and It will be more and more marked
every week. May will be a very busy
month, and June will be even busier.
"The south Is now In good shape, and
next fall the farmers will probably be bet
ter off than they have ever been before."
Criminal Court Conditions
"Tho dockets of the criminal court
are fast getting into shape," said Coun
ty Solicitor Hugo Black.
"All three divisions are working
strenuously In order to be able to dear
away the greater portion of the cases
pending by the first of July, when pro
hibition goes into effect here. There will
probably be many violators of the liquor
law. but I expect the criminal court to
be in position to handle this extra work
In excellent style.
“At the present time the county jail
has a fewer number of prisoners than
has been the case In several years. The
whole basement hae Been emptied. There
are only about 2B wheit men in the jail
and six of these have already been tried.
The Jail eases are being given prefer
ence on the dockete, and all of those
persons now in Jail arc scheduled to
come up for trial during the present
month.
"The Ideal condition fir a court is to
be In position to try cases as fast as
crimes ere committed; for what the
criminal dreads le prompt trial and
punishment. We are working vigorously
with this ideal in view end hope to bo
able to realize It in the not tar distant
futurs.”
DISAPPEARING IRALtOWTAII.9
From the New York Sun.
Much has been written of the prob
able effect of the war In Europe on the
fashions of men In this country. They
are to be more characteristic of this
land, they are to be emanlepated from
foreign Influence altogether, and after
their superiority has been established
and the men of other nations have time
to think of anything else than a uni
form, it will be the American styles in
drees that will conquer the world.
This Is the optimistic view of the
looel designers, who look to the da?
when their efforts will be Imported by
all other countries. The selection of
America as the source of men's fash
ions will be largely Influenced by the
event of the war. There will be no
prejudice on the part of any European
country against fashions which had
their origin here.
None of the rosy visions of the
American tailors le so revolutionary as
that which looks to the reform of even1
lng drees.
The dinner coat, which has gained
such wide popularity in spite of the
derision which greeted Its first appear
ance In the modish world, will succeed
Its more aristocratic predecessors.
Satin lined tails, argue the designers,
are uaeleee. They Interfere with the
ease of the dancer, which Is a dis
advantage not to be overlooked In these
days. The dinner coat Is much more
comfortable for diners, an important
quality.
The demand for greater simplicity
' and common sense In dress has In the
opinion of the designers made the re
tention of coat tails an Impossibility.
They must go. along with the frock
coat and other survivals.
If the American tailor does succeed
in abolishing the tails of the dress
coat, he will make an impression on
ihe sartorial art of his century; an
impression, moreover, which is likely
to be received with general favor ulti
mately, however harshly the radical
change may be regarded at first.
"Eye-witness' ” latest dispatch is a de
tailed description of the system by which
fee troops at the front are fed. It cotatns
the following:
The soldier lias bacon for breakfast,
bread and cheese for luncheon, a hot
meal of meal, vegetables and bread for
dinner, and bread and Jam with his tea.
In case of emergency he carries with him
an "iron ration ' composed of preserved
meal, biscuit, tea. sugar and two concen
trated meat cubes. Since the commence
ment of the campaign several additions
have been made to the scale of food ordi
narily allowed. Pea-soup Is provided
twice a week for the troops In the
trenches, as well as extra tea and sugar.
Cigarettes are served out In lieu of part
of the weekly tobacco allowance, matches
are provided twice a week, and butter Is
substituted twice a week for Jam.
In these circumstances it is not surpris
ing that this is the first campaign In the
history of the British army in which there
has been no grumbling as to the quantity
or quality of the food. Indeed, the most
serious complaint that has ever been made
is that plum jam has been Issued too fre
quently.
From the Philadelphia Evening Tele
graph.
The London Board of Trade announces
that in order to mitigate the effects of
the shortage of Indigo for dyeing pur
poses. and also to prevent any speculative
holding up of natural Indigo, the gov
ernment has acquired the greater part of
the crojs of natural Indigo, now coming
forward, for the use of dje users in the
United Kingdom.
“I want to go and see my girl, sir."
said a soldier in Kitchener’s army who
applied to be excused Saturday guard
duty, and was asked his reasons for the
request. "Not good enough," replied his
officer laconically. The applicant flushed
deeply, his chest heaved, and only by
an obvious effort did he retain self-con
trol. At last he blurted out: "Begging
your pardon, sir, but how can you say
that when you’ve never set eyes on
her?"
The Germans have now found a marvel
ous way of levying tribute on the poor
Belgians. A million pigs have been sent
into Belgium and billeted on all the in
habitants according to their remaining
for i lines. Some receive one pig, others
three, four, live or some many more.
These mate and Increase and the Belgians
have Btrlct orders to send into the Ger
man authorities a health bulletin weekly
as to the well-being of the pigs.
The Bishop of London's offer to spend
Holy Week and Easter at the front was
accepted in most cordial terms by Sir
John French.
The bishop started before Palm Sun
day for the British army headquarters,
and conducted services among the
troops every day until after Easter.
The bishop, who is chaplain to the
First battalion of the London Rifle
brigade, and Ills chaplain, the Rev. Ver
non Smith, who holds a similar posi
tion to the Second battalion, went oui.
in their khaki uniforms.
The Rev. Vernon Smith said to a rep
resentative: "The date of the bishop's
departure from England was, for obvi
ous reasons, kept secret. The authorities
arranged everything, and so soon as
they arrived In France they were abso
lutely in the hands of the headquarters
staff.”
■ nI'. IIS!I Ur TUB JIT.SBY
From (he Springfield Republican.
Experts who have been studying the jit
ney point out that the real test of this
new competitor of trolley and 'bus lines
is still to come. The economic problem
of a well-sustained public Bervlce by these
automobiles can be worked out only after
enough time has elapsed to demonstrate
the cost of the wear and tear of the ma
chine, usually known as depreciation.
The jftney originated In business depres
sion. A man with a Ford was the first
operator in I .os Angeles. Men whose reg
ular business had been dislocated there
upon put their private cars on to the
streets to carry passengers in order to
earn a little cash. They did not figure ul
timate costs at all. It Is "easy money"
for a while, with each passenger pay
inf 6 cents for a comparatively short ride,
but investigation already shows that after
jitneys have bsen operating In a city for
a month the first drivers nearly all dis
appear. Their cars have quickly worn
out on account of the hard usage, it is
estimated that a $2400 car can be run for
30,000 miles at about 37 cents a mile, in
cluding repairs, new tires, general de
preciation, gasoline and wages of driver.
If that is a correct calculation, the man
who makes a permanent business of run
ning Jitneys has a serious problem in
final costs to solve.
It Is an advantage to jitneys that they
are operated almost exclusively In the
congested parts of cities where traffic is
most profitable. Within a radius of three
miles In the larger cities the trolley com
panies can carry passengers profitably on
2 or 2ts-cent fares, but they are also under
obligation to Operate long-distance lines
which are very expensive. This difference
Is pfobfkbly what makes Jitney competi
tion unfair to the trolley companies w hich
have to give service to the public, in itself
yie’ding a loss.
For a time the jitney service tends to
maintain itself and prosper because of
the large number of second-hand automo
bile* for sale. These are bought at low
prices, by Jitney operators, who undoubt
edly wear them out rather soon, but so
long as the supply of cheap second-Hknd
cars lj available the Ji(ney competition
cat be maintained.
When business prosperity returns the
jitney fever will probably wane to a great
extent. Inasmuch as the operators will
have had a chance by that time to esti
mate the real coat of the service. It ia to
be expected, also, that legislation will
make profits seem less atractlve. In ease
the service Is long continued, by the levy
ing of taxes for the repair of streets which
the jitneys help to wear out, by license
fees, by the supervision of public service
commission and by the requirement of
bonds for the safety of passengers. It
is of some interest that when the street
car strike in this city ended last week
til" Jitneya disappeared.
POSTMARKS
From the Pittsburg Post.
By the way. did any one think to look
to see whether the war had started? This
la May.
While cleaning up the city let a few
words drop now and then about keeping
it clean.
Villa now threatens to crush his foes.
We thought that was what he has been
trying to do all along.
The prosperity bulletin has changed
from "more mills going hack on full time"
to "building of more mills begun.”
Just to get a line on the difficulty of
ending the war In Europe, how many of
your enemies would you be willing to «r
bitmu WiU><
• * . - l
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES \
A FEMININE FOIBLE.
The matter of dress
Is urgent and real.
We cannot express
Quite all that we feel,
But seeing the piles .
Of money that’s spent
In following styles,
Whatever their bent,
We wonder if Eve,
Who started the thing,
Did ever conceive
Of trouble she'd bring
OTJ a world where a coat,
Or a hat or a shoe
Makes some women gloat •
In the way that they do.
BOOMING THE FIRST ROW.
Speaking of the "chorus girl lure," a
Winter Garden show advertises, "100 svelte
sirens of the red runway.”
MAY BE A REASON.
“Old Mr. Grabscomb says that when lie
dies he wants a quotation from Dante on
his tomb."
•
“Isn’t that—er— rather in bad taste?”
“I can’t say. Why do you ask?”
“Dante, you know, was an authority on
the lower regions."
A BACKSLIDER.
“I don’t believe you ever did anything in
your life that was worth while," sa'id the
hard-featured housewife.
“Yes, mum. I did—onct," answered the
tramp who smelled strongly of liquor.
“What was it, I’d like to know?”
“Twelve years ago, mum, I signed the
pledge."
DISPOSSESSED.
t
The swift approach of cleaning time
Is noted In the news;
It keeps the housewife feeling prime,
But gives poor hub. the blues.
NOW OR NEVER.
“What must I do, mother? Every time
I get Reginald to the point of proposing
he changes the subject.”
•NIHHHMMHMMtlHNMMHtMMMtMMaiMtMl
“There is only one thing to do, my
daughter. The next time you get him to
the point pin him down.”
MORE OF IT.
He kissed his hand to trouble—
“I’ve had enough of that.”
And then a little breeze came by
And took his new straw hat.
CHEERFUL ROGUES.
“Human nature presents queer con
trasts.”
“For instance?”
"Men who have a sunny disposition and
a shady character.“
A SENSIBLE DOCTOR.
"What did the doctor say about Pro
fessor Grubbins, the historian?"
“He said the professor needed a rest.”
“Did he send him away to a resort?”
“No. He prescribed baseball.”
THE CAUTIOUS INVESTIGATOR.
“You say this summer hotel you recom
mend is only a stone's throw from the sta
tion?”
"Yes.”
“By hand or catapult?”
MAKING PROGRESS.
One of the newest dances is the step
and-a-half. For a while the onc-step was
popular. Now it's the' step-and-a-half.
Maybe we’ll gradually work our way back ,
to the two-step.
A GOOD WORD AT LAST.
“There Is one thing which I have never
said in public, but which I have always
been conscious of, and that is that the
greatest blessing we American women
have is the American man.—Mrs. An
toinette Funk.
A compliment to us all and to the man
Mrs. Funk married, in particular.
LABOR AND THE WAR
From the New York Times.
THE attitude of an overwhelming
majority of Europe’s socialists to
ward the war was simply that of
emotional human beings in whom the
racial ego is aroused. That was evident
from the beginning. What was not so
dramatically clear at first, being partly
obscured by the opposition of the laber
party’s leaders in England, is now un
mistakable. namely, that labor's attitude
toward the war is equally devoid of clasa
consciousness. That is to say, there ‘a
no distinctive labor attitude, just as
there is in fact no labor vote in this
country except in everybody's imagina
tion just before election. Talk of an in
ternational “strike” to end the war is
only something to put in place of a
futile, disappointed dream, which was
that labor, being the source of all things
could and would by a simple revolution
ary act prevent war from taking place.
It was only necessary that everybody
should stop work at once. That would
make war impossible. The effect desireo
was certain, provided the first caus&
could be made to operate, but, alas! that
was beyond all human command.
In the French “Yellow Book," docu
ment 5, is a report on the state of pub
lic opinion in Germany in 1013. Among
those In Germany opposed to war and
constantly in favor of peace it enumer
ates “the bulk of the workmen and
artisans and peasants, who are peace
loving by instinct.” The same might
have been said of the corresponding
classes In England France and Belgium.
And their peace loving instinct had been
powerfully organized. The syndicalists of
France to guard against being taken un
awares by war. in 1011 adopted a resolu
tion defining the attitude to be taken
by the working classes. The declaration
of war should be “for every worker the
command for an immediate stoppage of
work. To every declaration of war the
workers must at once answer oy a gen
eral revolutionary strike.” In Paris the
trades councils of the Seine on July 27
last made a demenstration against war
in which 100,00O persons took part. But
when war was declared socialists and
syndicalists took up arms together, as
by one impulse, because France had
been attacked by Germany.
And how did the German working
classes view their own hated Prussian
military system’s assault upon demo
cratic, socialistic, syndicalistic France?
Why, just as If they had never thought
of themselves as an international class
at all, or even as a class with a para
mount interest in peace and a greater
horrer of war than other elapses. Ed
ward Bornstein, social democrat. In a
lecture to the metal workers on October
24, remarked that “even among the work
ing people the annexation of Belgium is
demanded." He himself deplored that
attitude .and steadily thereafter was In
clined to oppose the government, so that
Wolfgang Heine, answering him through
the Yolkablatt fur Anhalt, wrote:'
“Whether we wish it or not. we must
fight in the w^est. • • • England has
decreed a 20 years’ war against Ger
many, and English labor leaders have
adopted this goal of war annihilation.’
The official organ of the%Building Trades
union, the Grundstein. declared it noth
ing less than scandalous that a little
group in Germany should hold out
agalpst the majority and “fall on the
back of brother workingmen w’ho are on
the field of battle,” killing workingmen
of other nationality.
In England the vehement political op
position of labor leaders to the war cre
ated the assumption of a. labor attitude
or consciousness apart from that of the
whole English people. The independent
labor party and in general the labor
press, has been extremely critical of the
English government's part in the war,
its motives and its intentions, and there
is a very large hostile pamphlet litera
ture of labor origin, but the British Fed
eration of Trades unions has pronounced
for the destruction of the Prussian "mil
itary caste.” That is purely the English
attitude. English labor in particular sit
uations. as on the docks and in the mu
nition works, has been recalcitrant, has
threatened to strike, and has demanded
higher pay, until the government was
forced almost to commandeer labor like
any other commodity, by threat of forc
ing the men to submit to martt&l discip
line. but none of that could be rightly
construed as a labor protest against the
war. It was mainly a protest against
what labor thought an unfair distribu
tion of the profits and hardships of war.
Wages at first did not rise as fast as
prktf. although some of the
v • >. . t
turers were known to be making enor
mous profits from war office orders. >
Irately wages have been rising faster
than prices. They have increased 50 per
cent in many trades.
The condition of labor is now almost
too prosperous, as suggested by the in
crease of drinking and the difficulty of
keeping some of the unskilled at their
jobs full time. Unemployment has wholly
disappeared. Indeed, such is the change
for the better from normal conditions that
one correspondent naively says it would
not be a very popular thing for the
government to force an early peace and
bring all this luck to an end.
The workers of the world obviously
could make war impossible, provided
they absolutely subordinated national
and racial ideals, suppressed all con
trary emotions and thought and acted
all at one time as workers. That they
Jiever have done, and probably never
fill do. For people have a pretty con
stant capacity for elemental feeling. ^
wnaiever their work happens to be.
WAR ECHOES
. _ i
| Louisville Herald: it was Lloyd-George
[who remarked:
j "After weeks of trying to find a solution
!I cm prepared to take a pledge never, po
| litically, to touch liquor again.”
We commend those words to the consid
eration of the democratic party. We com
mend them more especially to the care
ful and prayerful attention of candidates
[Bosworth, McChesney, McDermott, New
man and Stanley—we place them alpha
betically to avoid all suspicion or reproach
of favoritism.
Every last one of the harmonious quin
tet that began as a sextet and, for all we
know to the contrary, will end as a duet—
be he for one horn of the dilemma or the
other or, as some seem to be, for both—
wishes the (leaky, tempestive, fratricidal
problem anywhere else but where it is
right in front of him and all around him. A
campaign of insincerity and make-believe;
of high assertion and some marvelous log- /
erdemain; of down-right lying, too. )
Men who voted against county unit are l
now its dearest friends. Men who take \
one on the side, for the stomach's sake,
are of a sudden aghast at the evil thing.
These eleventh-hour converts ure always
the worst zealots ever.
But how steer clear? It’s a case of how
happy could I be with either, if t’other f
fair charmer were away.
And it's lots of fun for the gallery.
I Those who look on see most of the game.
ALABAMA PRESS
-- /
Gadsden Evening Journal: The real
Turkish bath now seems to have a daali
of shrapnel in it.
Huntsville Mercury-Courier: Brooks
- Lau rence's resignation as manager of the
[Anti-Saloon league does not cut much fig
ure In state politics. What we want to
know is Iihs he resigned as manager of
the Alabama legislature?
| Anniston Evening Star: Even Switzer
land seems about to cheese it, having mob
ilized the sixth division of-her army. >
Opelika Daily News: Lee county needs I
a system of road maintenance. The state \
highways bul^t at heavy costs a few vears J
ago are now juat about the worst roads *
wo have, all because no attention has been
given to keeping them up.
WAR RISKS
C. Pox Smith in the Westminster Gazette. „
"Let's go aft".and out she slides,
Pitching when she meets the tides....
She for whom our cruisers keep
Lordly vigil in the deep....
Sink or swim, lads, war or no,
Let the poor old hooker go.
Soon, hull down, will England's shore.
Smudged and faint, be seen no more;
Soon the following gulla return
Where the friendly dock-lights burn.... »
Soon the cold stars, climbing high,
March across the empty sky....
Empty seas beyond her bow,
(Lord, she's on her lonesome now.)
When the white fog, stooping low,
Folds in darkness friend and foe_
When the fast great liners creep
Veiled and silent through the deep....
When the hostile searchlight's eys
Sweeps across the midnight sky, • • S /
Lord of light and darkness, then,
Stretch Thy wing o'er merchantmen!
When the waters known of old
Death in dreadful shape may hold..,.
When the mine's black treachc
Secret w'aijje the Insulted sea..
(Lest the people wait in vain
For their cattle And their grain*,
Since thy name ka mercy, then
Lord, ka kiwUa |»gf'k4Kkge»l
I V.