The Birmingham age-herald. [volume], September 02, 1915, Page 4, Image 4

About The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950

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THE AGE-HERALD
B. W. BAHHBTT.Ed I tut
Emared at the Birmingham, Ala.,
Zuatoffice a* second class matter un
to act Of Congress March a. Hi9.
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year . is.ot
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a E. Young. E D. Grlllls and W. H.
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eling representatives of The Age-ilerald
In us circulation department.
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pose.
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through the mails. Address,
THE AGE-11 ERA HD.
* Birmingham. Alu.
Washington bureau, 2U7 Bibbs build.
Og.
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Beckwith Special Agsncy, agents tor
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TKLBPHONB
Bell tprlTate exchange connecting all
departments) Main 4000.
The valiant never tnste of death hut
once. —.lultun Caesar.
■* ' BEGINNING THE DAY—O my
Father, seek out those children of
Thine who are lonely today. In
cline the hearts of the men and
women who walk by their sides to
the holy things of fellowship. Open
Up the souls of the lonely them
selves that the pnths of entrance
may be easy to find. And do Thou
enter In Thyself, O Friend of ttao
friendless. For Jesus’ sake. Amen.
—H. M. E.
A Modern Minister
The traveler who stops in Ham
mond, Ind., and inquires for a recrea
tion place where he can spend a pleas
ant and profitable evening, will prob
ably be told:
“Go to Rev. Sharp's church; it is
almost open and there will be some
thing interesting going on.”
Further inquiry will bring out the
fact that the Rev. C. J. Sharp is
known for his progressiveness, his
untiring energy and his joy in his
work as a minister.
Rev. Sharp has built up the mem
bership of his church from scarcely a
score to an even 1200, and he explains
his success by saying that he believes
in making the church the center of
social as well as religious life, and
aims to make the church services and
social events so attractive to the pub
lic that people will attend in spite of
themselves.
A jitney service has been started to
bring members living at a distance
from the church to its services. In
the basertient of the church are rooms
, for young people’s clubs, an audito
rium for motion pictures and the Sun
day school has a baseball team, ath
i letic and debating clubs.
/ The musical members give an opera
annually as well as frequent concerts
The men operate a building and loan
association for the benefit of members
needing assistance, and in fact it
eeem6 that almost the whole gamut of
human need is cared for in this re
ligious organization.
! Rev. Sharp believes in making use
of modern devices and methods in the
advancement of religious activities
1 modern institutions and modern
progress has been fostered by Chris
tianity, heathen countries being no
tably behind in the progress of na
tions.
This joyous acceptance of the good
things of modern times is one of the
j secrets of the success of the Hammond
minister, whose favorite text is said
| to be:
"Ye shall rejoice in all that ye put
. your hand unto.”
Villa Should Worry
Even if General Villa were not ac
cumulating riches right and left in
Mexican territory held elsewhere by
him, the gambling concessions at Jua
rez, across the border from El Paso,
are bringing in such a tidy sum that
he need not worry about the future.
Thanks to the license granted and en
couraged by Villa and his agents,
Juarez has become what the revival
ists call a “cesspool of sin.” The
town has long been a favorite resort
for adventurers and its name was
none of the best, but, according to
newspaper correspondents, it is now
at the height—or the depth—of its in
famy.
In the daytime, there is little to
j distinguish Juarez from other Mex
i lean border towns, but Juarez is only
•looping. When darkness comes and
i the lights of saloons, dance halls,
i gambling palaces and brothels biaze
out, the lawless population begins a
- nightly orgy, in which murders are of
| such common occurrence that they no
1 longer attract attention. Mexicans,
halfbreeds and whites of both sexes
from the United States have gathered
at Juarez, where debauchery reigns
supreme and abandoned creatures
| flaunt their vices without restraint.
It is said that the apparatus for
i, the Diamond Keno palace, one of the
I bid gambling places at Juarez, was
in New York at a cost of $200,
& 0PQ. Villa’s rakeoff from this one en
terprise is said to average more than
$1000 a night. In the Turf Exchange
another infamous resort, Hipolite
Villa himself sets behind the cashier’s
desk. General Villa found conditions
in Juarez ripe for his plucking. By
annexing its vice combinations in toto
and granting additional concessions he
has profited handsomely.
The gambling and liquor conces
sions at Naco are estimated to bring
$20,000 a month to his coffers, while
the same privileges at Nogales pay
something like $26,000 a month. In
popular parlance, General Villa is cer
tainly “getting his while the getting’s
good.”
The Submarine Crisis Ends
The United States and Germany
will continue their peaceful relations.
The situation created by the tor
pedoing of the Lusitania and Presi
dent Wilson’s note to the German
government thereon looked extremely
grave especially when time passed
without an answer from the Berlin
foreign office; and with the sinking
of the Arabic the crisis became so
acute that many well poised Ameri
cans saw nothing left for the Wash
ington administration to do but dis
miss the German ambassador and re
call Ambassador Gerard.
But President Wilson and Secretary
of State Lansing never lost faith in
the German chancellor’s good com
mon sense. Germany had much to
lose and nothing to gain if she forced
the United States into the war.
Grand Admiral Von Tirpitz, the
“father of the German navy and in
stigator of the submarine campaign,”
was slow to yield to the conciliatory
policy of the Kaiser and Von Beth
mann-Hollweg, but after much argu
ment he was won over completely. It
was ail plain sailing for Germany
then. The result was Ambassador
Von Bernstorff’8 letter to Secretary
Lansing yesterday.
Diplomatic correspondence is usu
ally in conventional phraseology—■
stilted and cautious; but Germany’s
representative did not write in that
style. No statement could have been
clearer or freer from formal ver
biage than Von Bernstorff’s friendly
communication.
Of course, there was gratification in
administration circles. It was no
more than the President felt he had
reason to hope for, but the fact that
the crisis was ended was, neverthe
less, enough to cause rejoicing.
Germany’s changed attitude toward
the United States in her submarine
warfare is a distinct vindication of
the Wilson administration’s course.
Mr. Wilson and Mr. Lansing will now
be able to give closer attention to
other international questions pressing
for settlement.
All honor to the President who can
maintain the national honor and at
the same time keep out of war.
The Convict Lease System
After the Davis bill providing for
the abolition of the convict lease sys
tem was amended so as to withdraw
the convicts from the mines aud
lumber camps gradually between now
and 1920, it passed the house by a
large majority.
Opponents of the measure are mak
ing a strenuous fight to prevent Its
passage in the senate; but the people
of Alabama are strongly against the
old system, and the bill now pending
should be enacted Into law without
further delay.
Alabama needs good roads and the
place for the state's convicts Is on the
highways. North Carolina and Georgia
have built their splendid roads with
convict labor. Jefferson and a few
other counties in Alabama that are
now using county convicts, for road
building are getting highly satisfac
tory results. A system that operates
with such fine success in other states
and in our own county of Jefferson,
will prove equally successful in this
state at large.
After it Is settled that Alabama's
’onvlets are to be taken out of the
nines and camps, supplemental legiB
atlon will be needed for utilizing
hem on the highways, but that should
ie easy of accomplishment. Certain
t is that the enlightened sentiment
if Alabama Is today more than ever
!n favor of the state employing Its
’onvlcts on road work. With such a
system in full operation Alabama
would soon lead the south In Im
proved road mileage.
I-ast of the Education Bills
The decisive vote by which the
John compulsory education bill
passed the house yesterday will prove
most gratifying to all Alabamians who
ire striving to reduce the large per
centage of illiteracy in this state.
I'his measure should get through the
senate this week.
It is one of four important bills
urged by the state department of ed
ucation and the Alabama Educational
association, the others having been
adopted at the first session of the
legislature—the school tax amendment
bill, the illiteracy commission bill and
the bill allowing women to serve on
boards of education.
Of the forty-eight states in the
union only three are without com
pulsory education laws—Georgia,
Alabama and Mississippi. Texas and
South Carolina were the last to come
into line; and now that the Alabama
legislature is about to take the de
sired action it will not be long before
our neighbor states follow and make
compulsory education unanimous in
this country.
The John bill is a mild measure com
pared with the laws in many of the
states. Children between the ages of
eight and fifteen will be required to
attend school only eighty days in a
year, and where county authorities
deem it advisable the school time may
be reduced to sixty days. Children
living two and a half miles from a
sehoolhouse will be exempt from the
operations of the law, as will also chil
dren whose parents are too poor to
provide suitable clothing.
Still, with all its exemptions, it is
a measure that will be found of far
reaching benefit. It is certainly an
entering wedge and before many years
there will be a popular demand for
extending the scope of the law.
The school tax amendment will be
ratified by the people of the state
at the general election in November,
1916. The compulsory education bill
as amended provides that the law shall
not become operative until October,
1917. By that time counties and school
districts will have begun to levy spe
cial taxes for school purposes. School
buildings will be multiplied rapidly
and within the next five or six years
there will be few families in the state
living farther away than a mile from
a sehoolhouse.
In the meantime the illiteracy com
mission, of which ex-Gov. William D.
Jelks is chairman, is doing excellent
work. It is having the hearty co- (
operation of educators and in many
communities illiterate adults are be- I
ing taught to read and write by vol
unteer teachers.
With all the education laws in op- i
eration it should be only a short time .]
when illiteracy would disappear from i
Alabama almost entirely. «
"Writing." says Gert Atherton, "Is a '
t
woman’s job. Men ought to do things, not f
write about them.” Writing is a profes- ]
sion that has been open to women from i
time immemorial, but their literary bat- 1
ting average is not very high. It is pos- .
sible to count the great women writers .
of the world—one of whom Gert is not—on t
the fingers of one hand. c
- t
An exciting piece of news was published
in the papers the other day. Mrs. John T
Jacob Astor was unable to broil a chop at J
her summer camp and angrily threw it
over a precipice. <■
-— .... i
Only the promptness of state troops re- t
cently prevented the lynching of a negro i
in Illinois, where newspapers bitterly at- *
tacked the south for the Frank lynch- *
ing. J
Schumann-Heink say, she despises 1
Colonel Roosevelt and wouldn't shake
hands with him. That's what he gets
for calling the Germans “pirates."
___ 1
A man was recently arrested In St. ‘
Louis who had been a successful forger
for 3ii years. He overlooked the pay- [
chologlcal moment to retire. I
An observer says war has helped the '
young men of England by teaching them
th6 value of discipline. However, the les
son has been a costly one.
An Hawaiian princess arrived In Chi
cago and went to bed at 8 o’clock at
night, but Chicago-Is some distance from
the Great White Way.
President Wilson has parted with those
marvels of reticence, Colonel House and
John Lind, and the kitchen cabinet is
Bhot to pieces.
The old straw hat will soon be singing
its swan song, a performance respectful- <
ly called to the attention of nature fakers. 1
.. i
And Colonel House was one of Pregi- 1
dent Wilson's principal financial backers '
during his campaign. It's a cold world 1
The Turks have repulsed so many at- .
tacks of the allies that It's getting to be ,
a sort of habit with them. 1
- i
'Fried chicken day" In Kansas and Mis
souri Is a “safe and sane" celebration, '■
except for dyspeptics. s
--- i
While not officially announced, “Swat I
Petrogiad" seems to be the slogan of the 1
Germans.
- i
That smile on the face of the coal deal- '
er bodes no good to the thin-blooded clt- ‘
lssn.
_ I
General Huerta seems to have shut up <
like the proverbial clam.
ANOTHER CAMP FOR CITIZENS 1
From the Providence Journal.
The success of the Plattsburg camp of ,
instruction has led militiamen in Plula- i
delphla to undertake a similar camp in 1
the neighborhood of that city. This Is
gratifying news. There must be a good {
many men In Philadelphia who do not care
to make the trip to Plattsburg, but will 1
welcome the opportunity to drill near
home.
There is no reason why other camps ‘
should not he established in various parts
of the country. The demand for instruc- *
tlon is unquestioned, as Is shown by the 1
fact that there have been so many appV- '
cations for Inclusion in the Plattsburg '
camp that It has been decided to keep
It open till October 7.
Dr. John H. Finley, Btate commissioner
of education in Net* York, suggests per
manent camps under the direction of the (
regular army—camps that would furnish
all our able bodied men with a chance
to spend their usual vacation time in
camp routine, "not for military prepared
ness, necessary as that may be for the 1
time, but for physical, economic and com
munity preparedness, that we might the <
better meet together on problems of de- 1
mocracy." Ttj is worth thinking about I
1 & i
_____
me . - g.v... '2r'W''
Interested In South's Crops
"Business men in the north are almost
as much interested in southern crop con
ditions, and especially cotton conditions,
as the people of the south." said R. N.
Donaldson of Chicago.
When the south is prosperous the north
shares either directly or Indirectly In that
prosperity. The crop diversification move
ment is a great thing for this part of the
country. It Is a safe guess that the south
will soon be producing all the foodstuffs
it needs. When that day comes the cot
ton states will be rolling In wealth.'
Bualueea Improves
"The typewriter business continues to
Improve in Birmingham,” remarked D.
H. Brown.
“I am In receipt of a flattering letter
from the general manager of our com
pany at headquarters, and he says that
the Birmingham office has taken its
rightful place near the front on the firing
line, and that business is coming In
greater volume than ever before. Month
before last showed an unprecedented
gain over all others, and the month JUBt
ended has even surpassed that. Every
thing Is in good shape, and sales In this
llstrict are all that could well be ex
pected at this season."
Big Feather In Wilson's Cup
"It certainly Is a big feather In Wood
■ow Wilson's cap to hare the negotta
ions with Germany take the turn they
lave," said T. P. Hay, Jr.
"It looks now as if there would be no
vay to beat Wilson for President next
rear, provding he wants it, as I guess
le does.
"I have heard It said that when the re
lent Bryan affair came up, the demo
:ratic party was playing safe either way.
t Wilson’s policy lost out. Bryan would
>e in a shape to say he was right, and
vould be the democratic leader. If Wll
lon succeeded, as he seems to have done,
hen there isn't any man In the country
vho can beat him for President.
"I myself don't think that politics flg
ired that much, if at all, in the Bryan
secession.’ But at any rate, it looks as
C things at last were coming Wilson's
ray, and that he will be an easy winner
n 1916.”
Discusses Offer to Buy Cotton
"Germany’s offer to buy a round mtl
lon bales of American cotton to be de
ivered at any German port is not likely
o have much effect on cotton conditions
a the south," remarked George C. Ack
rs.
"As a matter of fact, the German prop
eitlon lacks the earmarks of sincerity,
nd probably will be given little constd
ration. Such a proposal, coming after
Ingland has declared cotton contraband,
s entirely In keeping with the Kaiser's
olicy. It is not so much that Germany
'ants 1,000,000 bales of cotton and is will
ig to pay 16 cents a pound for it, as it
s that the Kaiser’s war party Is anxious
o make the south feel that England's
ontraband edict is working a hardship on
his section.
"The proposition will furnish excellent
laterlal for pro-German agitators who
orthwith will cry out against the Eng
sh contraband order. However, the
outh Is too keenly alive to existing cdn
itlons not to appreciate the situation.
Ve may not approve of England's attl
ude regarding cotton and may be anx
jus to have the state department adjust
he matter, but that doesn’t mean that we
re going to get overexcited ov r a
roposition which was made with the in
ention of producing Just such a feeling
a the cotton producing section of Amer
:a.”
Birmingham's Strides
"An occasional visitor can but be im
iressed with Birmingham's strides,'' said
isa S. Rathbourne of Philadelphia.
"I was here as far back as 1897. The
own seemed to be Just recovering from
. period of depression, but it gave prom
se of solid growth. The steel plant at
Cnsley was then in course of construc
ion.
"My next visit was in 1902. Blrmlng
lam had made wonderful progress In five
ears. Its first steel frame building was
ieing complete)! and that marked a very
leclded advance, but I did not think I
vould live to see Birmingham the great
lty It is today—lota of skyscrapers, hand
lome hotels and mf.ny other features of
netropolitan character. When I was first
n this city Its population was about 36,000.
t has now, I am told, close to 200,000.
Vlth the vast natural resources of this
llstrict, it requires little Imagination to
ilcture Birmingham with a population up
vards off 800,000 in 1920."
What's Made In Birmingham
"The booklet containing a catalogue of
rtlcleg manufactured in the Birmingham
llstrict, Just now from the press and
eady for distribution, Is the most com
irehenslve publication that has yet been
indertaken," said W. C. Radcliffe, gen
ual secretary of the Chamber of Com
nerce.
"It Is Issued by the chamber’s Indus
rlal bureau, of which T. A. Weller Is
halrman. It is made up of 84 pages and
s alphabetically Indexed. Comparatively
ew cltlsens of Birmingham realize how
arled are the commodities manufactured
iere. This booklet shows that something
ike 600 different products and articles
ire made In this district. Chairman Wel
er in his preface says in part: 'It is hoped
his booklet will open the door for row
ndustriea, for It will let the nianufac
urer at a distance know that there ia an
ipening here for the article he makes,
md which now 1b not produced in Bir
ninghara. We have cause for congrutu
atlon as to the numDer of diversified In
lustrlea here ana the large number of
nanufactured articles produced, but there
b room for more. A cordial Invitation is
ixtended to industries seeking new loca
lon to come here and prosper.
" ‘The time will come when not a pound
if raw material produced here will be
ihlpped out, but will be manufactured into
he finished article, thereby Increasing tno
vealth of the district. We hope tills
looklet will hasten that day by attract
ng Industries to this district.'
“The Chamber of Commerce is prepared
o distribute 10,000 copies of the booklet.”
WAR NEWS IN PLENTY
I’rom the Pittsburg Sun:
The advent of Cole Blease as a randi
late for governor of South Carolina ought
o add to the gayety of nations and
hrow a certain amount of danger Into
he coming campaign.
UNABLE TO FORGET HIM
from the Brooklyn Time*.
"Misfortunes we cannot prevent are
mitigated by resignation,” is the Dally
iptlmtstlc thought of the Evening Tele
rrem, which cannot get that Bryan cpl
icde out of its mind.
MUST BE LONESOME
i'rdm the Washington Star.
Judging from the expressions in print,
leorge W. Perkins Is about the only man
eft who continues to feel like a bull
otiose.
| ALABAMA PRESS
Selma Journal: The soldier boys a
Montgomery encampments are reportei
to have been quite busy at work since as
sembllng there. Bully for the boys. A1
though accident brought a great sorrov
upon them, we feel sure that the business
like operations of the encampments wil
mean much to the advancement of the or
ganlzation work of the A. N. G.
Gadsden Tlmes-News: The fall dayi
wouldn’t be so "sad and melaneholy' 11
It were not for the price of coal thal
goes up Just as fast as the mercury goei
down.
Montgomery Advertiser: The state it
well satisfied with the compliment paid
Senator Underwood by Governor Hender
son. The governor, asked by the Pana
ma-Pacific fair management, to name the
most distinguished living Alabamian,
named Mr. Underwood.
Opelika Dally News: It will be greatly
to the advantage of the south and south
ern farms If the small grain acreage of
last fall Is doubled this fall.
BRYAN’S LOGIC
From the Pensacola News.
As a logician, Mr. Bryan, who was at
one time Secretary of State, Is the marvel
of the age. He thinks clearly. Seeing
a great national danger, he urges the
building of good roads to protect the
United States. Good roads would be use
ful In moving heavy artillery such as Is
possessed by the European nations.
If a man were In grave danger of an
attack from an enemy, heavily armed, Mr.
Bryan would advise, doubtless, that the
man in danger drink a bottle of grape
Juice, thereby dumfoundlng his assail
ant. In '76, the embattled farmers might
have sung songs to the British to keep
them off American soli, instead of using
muskets.
Here Is the logic. It Is of the well
known Ostrich school:
"The Jingoes are now talking about
spending J350.000.000 on the army, or 1460,
000,000 per year getting ready for that
which ought never to come. Four hun
dred and fifty million a year would
amount to about J8,000,000,000 In 11 years!
That sum would gridiron the United
States with hard roads 12 miles apart, so j
that no citizen would live more than!
six miles from a good road which would
enable him to go everywhere. It Is esti
mated that a farmer can haul four times
is much on a hard road as on a dirt
road.
"What a boon it would be to a farmer
to be relieved of the mud embargo! The
rttm above mentioned would In 10 years
revolutionize the road travel and traffic
if the country, but half that sum would
probably supply present needs. If we
<eep our army and navy appropriations
is they are now and simply use for good
oads the sum which the Jingoes desire
0 add to these appropriations, the bene
Its to business will be enormous. Good
oads or frenzied preparedness, which."
THE REAL BABY PARADE
From the Philadelphia Evening Ledger.
The baby pageant at Asbury Park this
week was watched by 75,000 men and
women who cheered loudly as toddler
ifter toddler marched by. It was hardly
1 world-shaking event, but it received
Its due of space in the newspapers, and
undoubtedly the babies are all the better
tor a little publicity.
The real baby parade—aBk any father
or mother—does not, however, come but
5ood cheer, and there it resembles Christ
mas. But the real baby parade brings
good cheer, and there It resembles Shrist
mas deply. The parade starts very early
In the morning. So early that father,
who before it came had to rush for the
3:24 from his suburban apartment, now
finds that-he can take the 7:02 with com
fort. With tones more emphatic than mu
lical, the parade starts from the rocking
bed (old-fashioned, now considered very
bad for babies) or the coop, and heads
for the bathroom. Punctuated by halts
for refreshment, change of cVothlng, for
ays for talcum powder and all the other
tinder necessities of militant and match
ing babyhood, the parade continues until
the whole magnificent pageantry of the
child is revealed. It Is almost incredible
that one actor should play so many parts.
Th odd thing is that. although the
same high heraldy of babyhood Is be
ing displayed in the flat next door, or the
house across the way, It seems Impossible
for the onlookers to appreciate any car
nival but their own. It makes one almost
fancy that parents are partial to their
own children. And that, of course, is Im
possible.
"GAI.LOPSCIOUS”
From the Philadelphia Evening Ledger.
Mark Twain once wrote that the casual
observer upon seeing a woman's lead pen
cil would conclude she had sharpened It
with her teeth, but he would find on In
vestigation that she had used a hairpin.
This is a tribute to the ability of wom
en to accomplish thqjr ends even under
difficulties, as well as evidence of the
universal adaptability of the wire utensil
found on every dressing table and on
every woman's head. The number and
variety of things that can be done with
this implement are doubtless greater than
are possible for any other human inven
tion. There is nothing which she can
not do with a hairpin, from buttoning
her shoes to repairing an automobile.
The last-achievement was accomplished
the other day by a young woman whose
electric car was stalled in the street.
A wire was needed and there was none
about save in her hair. She forthwith
extracted two or three hairpins and
they were used with success and the
car moved on.
Every mother knows that there Is noth
ing so effective for cleaning the ears of
her children, though the doctors object
to the use of such unscientific Instru
ments. and every boarding school girl has
discovered, as one of them felicitously re
marked, that "plum Jam eaten on a hair
pin at midnight Is gallopselous.” We
have no doubt that If put to It a wom
an could build a house with no other
tool.
A MILL'ON DOLLAR SALARY'
From the WaU Street Journal.
The report In a western paper that
Charles M. Scnwab received Jl,000,000 sal
ary as head of the United States Steel
corporation needs correction.
Mr. Schwab did receive the largest sal
ary ever paid outside the domain of Eu
ropean kings and emperors, but It was
not paid by the United States Steel cor
poration. >
On the contrary, Mr. Schwab’s contract
a-lth Mr. Carnegie called for so large a
sum as to be a stumbling block in the
organization of the United States Steel
corporation. Mr. Schwab thereupon
cancelled It and headed the United States
Steel corporation at a far leas salary and
lust as Mr. Morgan wished. A few days
later Mr. Morgan explained to Mr. Car
negie how nicely Mr. Schwab had acted.
Mr. Carnegie was astonished. He would
never consent that Mr. Schwab ahould
not have the full amount Mr. Carnegie
had by contract guaranteed him.
The next day Mr. Schwab was equally
astonished to receive from Mr. Carnegie
a check for several millions In settlement
for his full guaranteed salary during the
life of hie contract.
That contract called for an annual pay
ment In salary and profit-sharing guaran
teed to be not less than 11,000,000 a year.
— --
i
'
Prom the Cleveland Plain-Dealer
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ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
A QUEER FELLOW.
We never heard him grumble ,
And we never heard him say.
Because he chanced t.o stumble,
That somebpdy blocked his way.
Too busy for complaining,
And whene'er misfortunes came,
He had a way of giving
Thanks for blessings, Just the same!
EQUIVOCAL PRAISE.
“I understand Olddins is living here
now,” said the visitor. "I used to know
him back in my home town.”
"Is that so? What did the people think
of him there?”
“Well.” answered the visitor, cautious
ly. “I never heard any of his neighbors
threatening to mob him, and, on the
other hand, I never heard of anybody
there offering him a bonus if he'd come
back."
A BACKSET.
“Gadspur Is a man who prides himself
on doing things.”
"True. But I had to disappoint him the
ether day.”
“How so?”
"He wanted to do me.”
THE MORE THE MERRIER.
"Who is that old fellow who says every
body ought to own a home?”
“That's old Mr. Grasplt. I fear he's
talking from a se'fish motive.”
“Yes.”
"He holds a mortgage on more home*
than any other man in town.”
PUTTING ON AIRS.
"I presume your boy is getting ready to
return to college. Mr. Topsoil.”
"Yes. Me an' his ma expect to hreathe
easier when he goes.”
"I'm surprised to hear you say that.
Won’t you miss your son?”
“Oh, yes. We’ll miss him, of course, but
it’s been quite a strain on us to keep from
gittin’ rattled when he’d set down at th*
table an’-say, ’Well, mother, what’s the
meenu for today’?** >
MAKING GOOD.
“How’s your new preacher getting
along?”
“First rate.”
"His theology is acceptable, then?”
“I don’t know anything about his the
ology, but his looks please the women of
hlc congregation and his game of golf la
highly spoken of by the men.”
HELPED CONSIDERABLY.
“I presume there was a Lovers’ lane at
the summer resort yoti visited?"
“I think not.”
“But, surely, there were some accom
modations for spooning?"
“Well, the power plant was defective
and the lights went out two or thbee
times in the course of an evening.”
ALWAYS THE WAY.
When the wintry winds are blowing
And the window's white with rime.
Fulsome praise we’ll be bestowing
On the "good old summer time.”
TO THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE
From the St. Louis Republic.
THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE, a journal
which calls Itself "The World's
Greatest Newspaper," apropos of a
lynching in Georgia, launches this dia
tribe at the entire south:
The south is backward. It shames
the United States by Illiteracy and
incompetence. Its hill men and
poor whites. Its masses of feared
and bullied blacks, Its Ignorant and
violent politicians, its rotten indus
trial conditions and its rotten social
Ideas exist In circumstances which
disgrace the United States in the
thought of Americans and In the
opinion of foreigners.
• •••«*
The south is half educated. It Is a
region of illiteracy, blatant self
righteousness, cruelty and violence
Until It is Improved by the inva
sion of better blood and better ideas
It will remain a reproach and a
danger to the American republic.
The Tribune is backward. Aa an
American newspaper it shames the
United States by its ignorance and in
competence. Its blatant self-righteous
ness passes belief. Until it Is Improved
by the Invasion of a better spirit and
better Ideas It will remain a reproach
and a danger to a true nationalism.
But Its sentiments with regard to the
south must be typical of oommunity
opinion, since otherwise they would
have met with public and concerted re
buke from Chicago's cltlsenship. »
When the civil war broke out the
north was rich; the south, thanks to
an Industrial system which was as mis
taken economically as It was wrong
morally, was poor. The war stimulated
the north and prepared It for the con
quest of the new west; It prostrated
and bankrupted the south. After the
war the north was as It had been be
fore; the south waa a land In ruins.
Not only Its capital was gone; its in
stitutlons were to rebuild, on new and
better foundations. And while the south
stood so bitterly in need the laws of
the United States were shaped to bene
fit the protected manufacturers ol' the
north at the expense of the agricultural
south. We recall that the esteemed
Tribune, in the Medlll days, used to
argue powerfully for a low tariff be
tween campaigns; then, .when the time
for action came. It always becamo
"regular" and fought with and for the
tariff herons.
There Is no more shameful story than
that of the "reconstruction” at the
south, for which the north was respon
sible. There Is no more inspiring story
than that of the reconstruction of the
aouth by itself. Which is typical of the
south; the shameful deed of a mob or
the steady, persistent advance of Indus
trial reform, of popular education, ct
city making, of literature and the arts,
of charity and philanthropy?
Is Chicago In a position to throw
stones? Sas the Windy City nothing
to learn from the despised south? Look
at the way In which Chicago has mud
dled her terminal situation and com
pare It with the splendid municipal ter
minals of New Orleans. For Chicago to
prate of "ignorant and violent politic
ians” Is, as a certain Venetian gentle
man onoa remarked, “hypocrisy against
the deedl.” Can the south match Bath
House John and Hlnky Dink? Has the
south ever equalled the Lorimer scan
dal? Yet borlmer came from the great
and good city of Chicago.
Chicago has, through Lorimer, brought
disgrace upon the politics of a nation; Its
municipal government has been sordid and
corrupt; what did Chicago ever do in a
constructive way to advance the political
thinking of America or help forward-look
ing men to better things? Nothing at all;
in the realm of political construction Chi
cago has been as barren as a stretch of
alkali desert under a blazing sun. But
look at little Galveston, a. taw years
since stricken by one of the worst disas
ters in history; yet setting out, with a
courage that tempest and ocean combined
could not daunt, not only to build a city
impregnable in face of the wrath of na
ture but also to fashion a city govern
ment on new principles, where honesty
and efficiency might come into their own.
The one gr-at contribution to the prac
tical art of city government made by
the United States sinoe the birth of the
nation came out of the far south.
What has Chicago done for Cook cout)
ty, except to debauch its politics? The Il
linois metropolis might well take a leaf
out of the book of Fort Worth, Tex.,
which has so stimulated the good roads
enthusiasm of Tarrant county that that
Jurisdiction has within two years invested
$2,000,OOP in improved highways, expended,
not according to the methods of pork
barrel politics, so well comprehended in
Cook county, but under the personal su
pervision, with full responsibility, of one
of the most eminent highway engineers
in America.
Chicago prides herself on her achieve
ments in literature. Atlanta, one-twen
tieth her size, has given the nation Joel
Chandler Harris, Henry Grady and Frank
Stanton. Can Chicago equal that honor
roll? Chicago is a musical center. Tat
Chicago's opera company has coUapaad
in ruins, while Atlanta continues to give
to opera a patronage unmatched in the
United States, population for population.
The Tribune sneers at tha ‘hill men" of
the south. Does it not know that these
"hill men" stepped out in front of the
grape shot in the civil war to fight for
freedom? Does it know that nowhare
in the United tSates are personal morale
higher and gracious hospitality to tho
stranger more universal than in the hills
of the south? Has It followed the pro
gress of Missouri communities peopled by
this same stock, and the records of tlse
young people who have gone out of thee*
hills to the universities of the land, and
then to honorable places in the nation'*
life?
Did the anarchist outrages of a quarter
century ago prove Chicago a nest of an
archists, outside of the pale of civiliza
tion and beyond all hope?
Chicago has. In one sole respect, shown
herself quick to respond to the growth
snd improvement of the south. That is
in the realm of trade. Chicago la acutely
conscious of the value of southern dollars,
anxious to conserve trade relations with
the region whose "rotten industrial condi
tions and rotten social ideas • • • illit
eracy, blantant sclf-rlghteouaness, cruelty
and violence” are so-far unworthy of the
city of Lorlmer, Hinky-Dink. Bath-House
John and the rest of Chicago's municipal
saints But Chicago serves notice to the
world through her press that her commer
cial relations with the south carry with
them no hint of good nelghborllness, of
appreciation of great men and great
movements, of knowledge of the harvest
of the fields of civic effort, education, so
cial advance, literature and art. In which
the south has labored. '■
Chicago's relations with the south aro
on a revenue basis only.
THE LULLABY
By Gordon 'Ware.
Low la the note in tha sweep of life,
Lost in the whir of Incessant strife.
Yet is heard the Slumber Song!
Plaintive and sweat are the notes that
beat,
Deep In the well of noise and heat.
Still we hear the Slumber Song!
Roan-of the cobbles and clang of cars.
Mighty the sound of the city's wars!
In their midst, the Slumber Song!
And all for the gain of a golden crown.
Trying with clamor the song to drown—
And the while, the Slumber Song!
*