The Birmingham age-herald. [volume], October 13, 1915, Page FOUR, Image 4

About The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950

Image provided by: University of Alabama Libraries, Tuscaloosa, AL

                
THE AGE-HERALD
E. W, BARRETT.Editor
Entered at the Birmingham, Ala.,
postoffice as second class matter un«
uer act of Congress March 3, 1879.
Daily and Sunday Age-Herald, year *ii.00 |
Daily without Sunday. *•?•{ j
Daily and Sunuay, per month.. .. i
Daily and Sunday, three months.. l.ai)
Weekly Agu-Htrald, per annum..
Sunday Age-Herald, per annum..
O. E. Young, L. D. Griftls and W. D.
Drumbeloe are the only authorized tray
cling representatives o£ Tiic Asc-Aleraui
in its circulation department.
No communication will be published
without its authors name. Rejected
manuscript will not tie returned un
less stamps are enclosed tor Dial pur
pose.
Remittances can be mode at current
late of exchange. The Age-Herald \slll
not he responsible for money sent
through the mails. Address.
THE AGE-HERALD,
Birmingham, Ala.
Washington bureau. 307 llibbs build
ing.
European bureau, 6 Henrietta street,
Covent Garden, London.
Eastern business office, Ttoon— to
f.0. inclusive. Tribune building, New
York city; western business office,
Tribune building, Chicago. The 8. C.
Beckwith Special Agency, agents for
eign advertising.
TELEPHONE
Bell (private exchange connecting all
departments) Main 4(8)0.
Heaven prosper onr aportl No one
means evil but the devil,
And we shall know him by hia horns.
—-Merry Wives of Windsor.
BEGINNING THE DAY—O God,
give me today some high, untrou
bled place In my thoughts, where l
may get away from the noise nnil the
glare, nway from the lilos of crooked
thinking and of unworthy motives,
away from wrong am Ml ions nud
false estimates of success. For
Christ's sake. Amen.—II. M. E.
The Good Roads Convention
The nineteenth annual convention of
the Alabama Good Roads association,
which convened in this city yesterday
for a two days’ meeting, is not only
.largely attended, but there is a greater
number of prominent men from dif
'erent sections of the state than ever
;athered on any similar occasion.
The economic value of improved
highways is so obvious that urging
- would seem unnecessary; and yet had ,
it not been for the organized efforts 1
put forth by county associations and '■
the Alabama Good Roads association *
the mileage of first class highy; vs
would be far less today than it if;.
Wh|n the Alabama association
launched the good roads movement
' nineteen years ago comparatively few
farmers realized its importance. Many
expressed doubts as to the feasibility
of the undertaking. But it was not
long before the work of road building
was begun and the movement once
under way he was a backward citizen
indeed who was not an enthusiastic ,
advocate of it.\
The Alabama Good Roads associa
tion has not only kept up the interest
in the cause but it can now point with
* pride to its practical achievements.
Had it done nothing more than create
public sentiment in favor of county
bond issues for road making its exist
ence would have been fully justified,
but it is largely responsible for the im
proved character of highways as com
pared with the work done five or six
years ago, and for arousing the co
operative spirit of the people.
All honor to the leaders who have
made the Alabama Good Roads asso
ciation the success it has proved to be.
—--- ■ -
Frohman'* “Debut”
One of the most notable and inter
esting magazine articles of the year is
“The Life of Charles Frohman,”
written for the Cosmopolitan maga
, -xiine by Daniel Frohman and Isaac F.
Marcosson, and appearing serially in
that publication. The commanding
position occupied by Charles Froh
man in American theatricals makes
the story of his early struggles for
success doubly fascinating and at the
same time affords illuminating
glimpses of stage history in America.
Although Frohman was considered
one of the greatest theatrical man
agers who ever lived, his biographers
state that he trod the hoards only
once, and then merely as a lowly su
pernumerary. The father of the Froh
man family kept a cigar store on
Broadway, which was patronized by
many prominent actors of the day. In
this atmosphere the Frohman buys
aoon developed a strong attachment
to the theatre. Shortly after the New
Year of 1869 “The Field of the Cloth
of Gold” was produced by the Worrell
sisters in the old New York theatre,
to which they had given their name.
Charles and Gustave Frohman knew
the doorkeeper, and one afternoon, as
they stood in the lobby listening to a
rehearsal, he told the boys that an
extra would be needed that night.
Charles was chosen for this important
duty. Dressed as a page in a faded
costume and carrying a banner, the
youthful “C. F.” made his first and
last appearance, receiving the sum of
26 cents for his services.
It is well, perhaps, that young
Frohman did not become an actor.
While he might have made a good one,
he was pre-eminently a great man
ager and his achievements in this ca
pacity have made his fame secure.
The Fair a Splendid Success
The Alabama State Fair is the best
Birmingham has ever had. It is prov
ing a splendid success.
President R. A. Brown has been
particularly wise in his selection of
the free shows in front of the grand
stand. Some of the best features from
the Hippodrome in Ixindon are there,
and features from all over the world,
which command. the highest prices.
The show is indeed a splendid per
formance.
The exhibits of cattle and hogs are
particularly fine and the agricultural
exhibits are worthy of the highest
praise. For those who fancy dogs,
there was never a better exhibit.
Indeed, the entire fair is a great
show, and is worthy of everyone’s
visit.
To Fight the Boll Weevil
Now that this year’s cotton harvest
is over there is much conjecture on
the part of traders and spinners as
to next year’s probable acreage.
As a result of the present short
crop and the statistical situation the
advance in price will not stop this
side of 16 cents and it will be no sur
prise if it climbs to 20 cents before
next spring.
The farmer will be tempted to plant
extensively in 1916; at any rate to in
crease his acreage over that of 1915.
A crop of 15,000,000 bales would not
be too much. There will probably
be need for more than 15,000,000.
But until Alabama and other states
infested by the boll weevil can get
rid of the pest the production in 1916
will probably be no greater than it
was this year—about 10,600,000 bales.
Many a farmer who had poor suc
cess with his cotton this year will be
inclined to devote all his energy to
something else. An organized crusade
against cotton’s determined foe will
ae made in Alabama next year under
;he direction of experts from Auburn
and the department of argiculture.
Science has accomplished wonders in
jvery sphere of industry. It has
caused a prodigious advance in faring
ng; and science may minimize, l£lie
avages of the weevil; but it is hard
o see how much can be done of prac
ical good except to pick off and de
troy the weevil as he reaches for a
poll.
But the experts who have made a
pecial study of the subject may find
m easier way. They will. certainly
neet with all possible encouragemen
when they start their crusade.
•The bigreau of fisheries of the com
merce department has been asked by
eaders among those engaged In the lob
iter industry to aid in the conservation
>f this popular sea food. The increasing
lemand for lobsters and the decrease in
:he source of supply are causing grave
concern. The situation is said to be
iggravated by the careless methods of
ishermen. Representatives of the lobster
ndustry have also begun a campaign to
>btaln adequate appropriations from Con
gress for carrying on the work of con
servation. Oysters, because of their tre
nendous popularity as an article of food,
ire already protected by laws of the
nation and by state legislation, but few
safeguards of this kind have been given
o lobsters. The lobster men hope to put
both industries on practically the same
rooting. Laws governing lobster breed
ng. rearing, fishing and shipping are de
sired. Dealers in this sea food declare
hat if such legislation is not speedily
•assed the industry will be ruined*
Henry Ford will have nothing to do
ivith war and weapons of war. He's a
man of peace. Did you ever see any
thing more peaceful looking than a little
ford browsing by the roadside?
Considering his efforts to prevent a rup
ture between the United States and Ger
many, Ambassador Bernstorff is entitled
:o one of the most desirable seats at
President Wilson's wedding.
It is said that the mayor of Toledo will
jbb "canned speeches" in his campaign
for te-election. Presume there are Buit
ible pauses to give the voters an oppor
Lunity of cheering.
Submarines are doing so little damage
these days that the reckless American
no longer considers that he takes a sport
ing chance by sailing to Europe In an
Knglish ’Iner.
Roumanla is credited with "benevo
lent neutrality" toward the allies, but
because of her geographical location, she
isn't advertising the fact.
If old Abdul were on the job in Turkey
now, he would probably be playing a
clever game of politics and using a'l
known brands of neutrality.
Tom Marshall has little or nothing to
say about the President's approaching
marriage. Maybe Tom thinks it isn’t
his funeral, anyhow.
According to recent dispatches, the Rus
sians have sworn with mighty Slavic
oaths that they won't run another step
sky.
It's rather difficult to follow the world
series and keep the batting averages in
the Balkans straight at the same time.
As very little has been heard from the
Texas rangers In the last few days, they
are probably catching up with lost sleep.
The blissful calm in Spain just now
recommends that country to the tourist
in search of peace and quiet.
The indications are that Genera* Goelh
als will be lingering in Panama when
the robins nest again.
The Turk seems determined to carry
on the war until the Iasi Armenian is
killed, at any rate.
King Ferdinand is on his way, but It
isn’t quite certain that he knows where
he's going.
Overheard On a Jitney
By MHS. SIDNEY M. ILL.MAN
Dramatic Personnae: Two men In
trout, two women behind, passenger be
tween.
Place: An Eleventh avenue jitney.
Time: Election day, October 11, 1915.
First Man in Front: “Well, did you
vote?’’
Second Man in Front: “No, hadn't
time; such a rotten city government
anyhow. T didn't care much how the —
thing goes. Did you vote?"
First Man in Front: “No, it was out
of my way to go to the polls. T agree
with you. something ought to be done
to get the city out of a hole."
And then they proceeded to knock
the city government.
First Woman Behind: “Did you see
Mrs. Solon Jacobs' picture in the Sun
day papers?”
Second Woman Behind: “Yes, wasn’t
it lovely. I wonder why she spends so
much time doing that stupid suffrage
stuff—?”
First Woman Behind: “That’s what 1
•say; I certainly think men are quite
capable of taking care of politics; I
know nothing about them and care less.
My home is all I can look after,” etc.
And the passenger between Is still
wondering who ought to kick, when
most men and some women don’t take
politics any more seriously than these
people did.
THE NOVEL HUNGER
From the St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
The novel appetitie is a normal, the
novel hunger an abnormal condition.
Work naturally should carry with it
pleasure and diversion; but the intensive
variety of the present day often ex
cludes these elements, and becomes
breathless. Moreover, where life work
is constituted of inflexible, concrete facts
only, the brain wTill fag under their un
interrupted impact.
We all know.’ of the mathematician and
the accountant who do tatting after their
day’s w’ork, to change the abstract into
the light concrete; and Dr. O. A. Brown
son .the editor of the Boston Quar
terly Review, one day confessed to Ptaa
ident Lincoln that he wowfc fiction daily
just to right the equilibrium of his mind.
The novej. V* legitimate food for the
mind , steeped in the material or the
transcendental, chiefly aB a diversion.
But it could be more, is more, to the
few who find in It food for study in ele
gance of diction, in philosophy, and as
an aid in .sociological study. But in the
ratio of its utility in the dlreeton of
study, It not infrequently loses value afi
means to mind rest; and even where
this element of culture is presented, the
average reader will pass over the pages
of “dry” study to hold the thread of
the story, which is the reader’s primary
objective.
Novel hunger bears a pathological sig
nificance; it is not the logical result of
over exertion in other directions, but a
sickly condition of no remedial import or
value. The youth, for instance, who will
read at the breakfast table, In school,
after classes, until a late hour of the
night, only to resume the curriculum with
the rising of the sun, suffers from lego
mania.
The clerk or housewMfe who neglect du
ties to pamper an inane desire, abuses
a valuable asset besides squandering the
most useful commodity in lifetime. Con
diments are Important helps towards de
termining taste, but they can never be
come matter of daily food.
Novels and fiction generally may be
intrinsically good or bad. may be made
subservient to the frosty ideals or learn
ings that are counter to our national coae
of accepted morality, or they may, al
most surreptitiously, inculcate good prin
ciples. In the quest for diversion we
must still exercise a reasonable discre
tion. In this matter, as elsewhere, the
principle must obtain that no one can
delve Into mud without danger of pollu
tion.
HUGE PROFITS FOR OCEAN VESSELS
From the Kansas City Star.
These are golden days for owners of
ocean freight steuiners. The rate on
wheat from New York to Liverpool is
;>*> cents a bushel, about seven times
a normal charge. The owner of a ves
sel makes $60,000 more than a normal
profit in carrying a cargo of 200,000 bush
els from New York to Liverpool, and
proportional profit to all other open ports
of Europe. Ocean freight rates on other
commodities have advanced relatively as
much as those on w’heat. The high ocean
freights are due to the disappearance
of German vessels from the sea and the
diversion of many English, Frencn and
Italian merchant ships to w’ar uses. The
element of risk cuts some figure, but it
ia not an important fuctor, for war in
surance is obtainable for a maximum
of 2 per cent, and from that down to
less than 1 per cent.
SORROWS OF THE GROCERY TRADE
From the Chicago Herald.
• James, my lad,” said the grocer to hla
new assistant, “who bought that moldy
cheese today?”
“Mrs. Brown, sir,” was the youth's re
ply.
“And the stale loaf we could not sell
lr.st night?”
“Mrs. Brown, sir.” ,v
“Where's that lump of runo'ci butter
that the baker refused?VL
“Mrs. Brown bought it cheap, sir,” was
the answer.
“And the six eggs we could r.pt sell
u week since?”
“Mrs. Brown.”
“Are you ill, sir?” asked James, as the
grocer turned green and groaned.
“No, no; only I’m going to tea at
Brown’s tonight,” replied the unhappy
man as he wdped the perspiration from
hi3 face and sank into a chair.
POLITICAL STARS
From the Cincinnati Tlmes-Stnr.
T. St. John Gaffney, removed as consul
general at Munich, proposes to stump the
country. Mr. Gaffney should associate
himself with that other undiplomatic
diplomat, George Fred. Williams. Vaude
ville yawns for them.
OBL.IClIKtfLt’ FRANK
From the New fork Telegram.
Kdward Beesenger. arrested on a chare?
of bookmaking, frankly admitted the
charge. In these days it ought to count
something for a man who refuse* to her
Jure himself.
I -
i -1
A Great Fair
“This year’s state fair is rerhaps the
best ever held in Alabama," said W. E.
Henderson, private secretary to the gov
ernor. "It Is a high credit to Birming
ham and to those people of Alabama
who have exhibits there.
"I spent sometime on the grounds
Monday—from noon until the fireworks
at night, and did not get tired. There
is so much of interest to be seen that
one might spend several days at the
I fail with pleasure and profit.”
The Srottlsh Highlanders' Band 0
\ "The Alabama State Fair association
nas provided more music this year than
ever before, and as for quality T do not
see how it could be surpassed,” said
George Schneider.
"The Scotch Highlanders' band, 30 per
formers or more, under the eonductor
“nip of Roy 1). Smith, plays the mush’
for the free acts and It adds greatly to
the beauty of each performance. Acting
music, or Incidental music, as tt is tech
nically called, is an art in itself, and
Conductor Smith s forces have the art to
perfection.
"Memoirs excellent band gives two
concerts daily, and music lovers flock
to hear his delightful programmes. Tes,
the fair management has treated the pub
lic well In the matter of music as in
everything else.”
Dr. Mlaor'i Visit
"I was permitted to attend the medi
cal section of the recent tuberculosis
conference at Columbia, 8. C., the other
day,” said Dr. George Eaves. “I was im
mensely impressed with the demon
stration of Dr. Charles L. Minor as a
lucid and resourceful lecturer. His in
sight into hidden physical conditions
strikes the layman as almost uncanny;
but there is nothing there beyond the
enthusiasm of a genius along with the
most absolute science, but he unites
also the social and the psychical with
the physical elements In his reading
of the aubpect.
"His coming to Birmingham at this
juncture in the anti-tUbenculosla move
men should be a most useful contri
bution to that. work. His dictum is that
early diagnosis can be made by others
than specialists.”
Birmingham'* Rapid Growth
“This city had a phenomenal growth
in the last decade it is ^akwag
another strid,* W this decade," said N.
F, Sounders of Philadelphia. "The
great increase in population as shown
In the census of 1910 was due In a
measure to the extension of the city’s
boundary lines. But the increase which
the next census will show will be the
result mainly of a steady tide of peo
ple—business men and skilled work
men—attracted by the demand for la
bor and the exceptional opportunities
that will present themselves.
"Birmingham is now being talked
about in the east as the livest city in
all the south.
“The population was something like
133,000 in 1910. My guess is that it
w-ill be close to 300,000 in 1920. It has
all the appearances today of a rapidly
growing community; but its greatest
rate of increase will come a little
later.”
The Lumber Trade
“There has not been any marked im
provement in the local lumber business
but with all the industrial prosperity
that is now In evidence the trade is
sure to become brisk a little later on,”
said R. M. Jenkins, president of the
Jenkins lumber company.
“During the summer and early fall
many houses were vacant. The ‘For 1
Rent* signs are now disappearing and
before the end of the year few such
signs will be seen. Until all the houses
are occupied I do not expect a rush of
activity in tlie lumber trade. It will not i
be long, however, before the condi
tions will be just right for our line of
business. Everything indicates high
record prosperity this winter and next
spring.”
Btudnes* Hummiug
“There is scarcely any line of business
in Birmingham that Is not prospering,”
said R. \V. Ewing, ex-president of the
Board of Trade.
“A month or two ago the big industrial
pay rolls were producing a fine effect on
business conditions in a general way, but
not all of us were feeling the results di
rectly. But the pay roll money is now
circulating widely and Birmingham's
business district is humming.”
Blrmlagham's Ideal Climate
Miss Lorraine Bernard, prlma donna of
the Boyle Woolfolk Musical Comedy com
pany, now playing at the Majestic, says
that, she had no idea Birmingham had
such an ideal climate.
' Of course, I have often heard the
merits of Florida as a winter resort ex
tolled,” said Miss Bernard, “but I have
never heard anyone say that Birming
ham had an exceptionally fine fall and
winter climate. 1 am ready to vouch for
thic. fact. A great many people prob
ably like the balmy atmosphere of Flor
ida a great deal in the winter, blit for
mj part T do not like the balmy, lazy
winter. Birmingham lus an even, de
lightful climate, not too hot nor too
cold, l^ut cool enough at night to use
blankets And a trifle chilly in the early
mornings with a gradual change in at
mosphere until it he: < mes pleasant.
“In Chicago it has already been blt
teily cold and I understand that city
has not had a leal pretty day this
month. 1 suppose the weather here ac
counts for so much activity on the part
of the pedestrians. You seldom notice
anyone lounging along on the street in a
leisurely manner; instead, they are
bustling, busy persons who are alert of
step and bright of eye. I think It is
time to boost your city as an ideal au
tumn and winter resort, and I am glad
10 be a booster.” I
A NARROW ESCAPE
From the Louisville Courier-Journal.
Had the President been a Pittsburg
milMonaire instead of a New Jersey col
lege professor, a chorus girl now might
be slated for the position of first lady
in the land.
BIBLE'S BETTER
From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
A package of papers in his inside pocket
Saved the life of an Ohio man struck
by a wogon tongue. It pays, after all.
to carry one’s monthly bills about with
him.
THE FINISHED WAY
From the Anniston Post.
Lifting a million from Uncle Sam's
mail cars w'as no modest unde risking.
It is always easier to rob him through
the Instrumentality of a general appro
I
Talladega Home: The Birmingham Age
Herald was the first paper to reach tills
office presenting the picture of Mrs.
Galt, the Mancee of President Wilson.
Selma Journal: A quart a week for the
old Uppers is all the South Carolina laws
will let them order. But they think that
is better than two quarts every two
weeks. They don't save it well enough
to make It last.
Tuscaloosa News: As a strategist. Col
onel Boll Weevil takes rank alongside
Von Hindenburg. According to late re
ports he has advanced 300 miles in the
last two weeks.
Mobile Register: If Alabama were as
thickly settled as Belgium was in 1910
she would have over 30.000,000 people,
nearly one-third of the total population
of the United States. If her debt were
in proportion to Belgium's in 1910 it
would be nearly $4,000,000,000. If she had
as many small farms as Belgium had in
1910, they would number 3,500,090.
Opelika News: In vetoing the recircuit
ing bill Governor Henderson makes the
statement that bis veto will amount to an
annual saving of some $40,000 to the tax
payers of the state, and that at the
same time it will in no wise interfere with
the administration of the laws of the
state or be the means of delays.In the
courts If it turns out that the gov
ernor Is not mistaken then he will have
put even more than one over on the law
inakers. In fact. It will write this leg
islature down as the most incompetent
body of its kind the state has had or it
will mark them as a body legislating with
nbsolutely no consideration whatever for
the public good.
NEGRO ENTITLED TO PROTECTION
From the Bessemer Weekly.
-Antipathy to the negro and unjust
abuse of him is born of misconception
ot his place In southern industrial
life.
To what extent charges made by the J
grand jury of abuses practiced by city
pfflciala of Bessemer against negro pris
oners this writer does not know. But '
the picture drawn by charges of beatings 1
inflicted, of property confiscated and of
general mistreatment of Ignorant and un
protected blacks closely parallels the
hideous picture of the Hell Hole of Cal
cutta, and constitutes a blot upon the
•eoord of tills boasted section of clvillza
lif>n' J - ' *
The is yet a. ward of this na
tion. of the white men who compose. }
guide and direct It. and he is entitled to
the protection and care of the courts and
Pf society. He is, too, an Important in- j
tegral part of our industrial life. By
ills labor the south has prospered, the
(ires of Industry have been kindled and
tept alive. He guides the plow in thou
sands of fields. He delved deep into the t
bowels of the earth and brings forth
reasure for the people.
That many negroes are ignorant is *
to fault of theirs; that many are vicious l
s but a natural tendency of the human
•ace, both white and black. Yet the ne
gro must ever be regarded as a pro- c
lucer, especially in this southland of t
iurs. Remove him from the industrial
ields of tlie south, and the loss would r
(all heavily upon capital and progress f
vould be retarded.
It is thought that the Bessemer case
s not the only one that should be ver.
Ilated and punishment follow. The fee
system has long oppressed tile negro. I
Slid many are the victims of Injustice at t
the hands of official oppressors. The
strong hand of the law Bhould be in- *
roked to protect the oppressed, and In
dulgence and morality should demand (
(almess for blacks and for whites alike.
-et it be remembered that dependence ^
between whites and blacks is mutual in s
his great industrial district, and to dis
•ourage and drive sway one clase would
ivork serious hardship to the other. The
lone and sinew of blacks directed by the
brain and capital of whites constitutes
:he driving force in our march of prog
ress. 1
Is it not probable that such abuses as ^
hose alleged against Bessemer officials
:ause criminal negroes to so often shoot *
ind kill deputy sheriffs and po'lcemen >'
vhlle in the discharge of their duties in "1
naking arrests? ri
DIFFICULT CARRANZA '
From ihe New Republic. a
The President has insisted throughout a
(hat he would not recognize a military c
lictalorsiiip. The government which was c
(o receive the moral and financial sup- r
Port of tide country must be authorized
:o take offu £ by an honest election con- \
iucted under constitutional forms. Car- 1
ranza cannot c'aim any such title to t
political authority In Mexico, and he r
loes not Intend to seek it. He proposes t
to carry out the social and economic re- r
lorms, the need of which has In his r
ppinion caused the Mexican revolution, d
ipon his own authority as military die- f
tator, and to postpone the organization t
if a constitutional government until these r
reforms are completed. t
If he becomes the acknowledged ruler I
pf Mexico he will certainly pay very lit- c
le attention to American influence and
sdvlce. The President wlU hurdly be able i
;o obtain any assurance from him that s
Mexico will meet these legal obligations i
;o the citizens or other countries which, r
If ignored, might provoke subsequent j
European intervention. r
Finally, he would have no assurance t
la to the reality and the permanence a
pf Carranza s own authority. Tho gen
srals operating under Carranza's orders "
(lave been victorious over their oppo
lents because their chief controlled I
ibundznt sources of revenue and could
<eep them supplied with arms and am- T
munition. But. his generals are notori- 0
jus'y insubordinate, and would In many
cases prefer to continue their safe and c
profitable career of military exploitation c
-atalier than insist in the final restora- t
Jon of order. The conditions of that ^
part of the coaiitry In which Carranza’s
troops have been in undisputed occupa f
tion for over a year is nut such as tp
Inspire confidence either i/ the reaik'y t
>f his authority or in his ability as a
pacificator.
JUST LIKE MOTHER 8
From Tit-Bits.
The boys of Scrumpton village had '
formed a football club, and all they now
needed was a ball, goal posts, etc., yet '
these trifles troubled them.
"It s like this," explained the captain
"we must all subscribe, but them as ’as
most must give most’’ j
There being no sign of Jissei.t-such as
z kick on the shine or a smack on tho t
pack Of his head— tho captain continued; j
NoW. there’s Jimmy fc’lmf.kins. ’E tell a
ne only 11m other dry that every time
e takes a dose o’ cod liver oil ’is of
toman puts a a’penny In ’is money Dos. I
B must be gettln’ rich.’
"No, I aintf’ bawled Jirnmy. ”Wv,
t’ve found pul p.’s nil u swia! When it r
tots at ’a'rf a crown, she takes It out 1
and buys nnnuvver bottle:’’
i
When a Touchdown May Win the Game
—From the St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
AT THE END
>h, the ways that we are going
'here is never any knowing.
But let's Jog along and still hope for
the best.
'hough we never win to glory,
life’s a pleasant sort of story
And we're promised when it's over,
perfect rest!
THE CASTAWAYS
“Dubwaite is a shrewd politician.”
"How so?”
“No matter which way the wind blows,
e trims his sails to catch it.”
"Still, I’ve known men to do that for
ears and never get blown into office."
SARCASTIC
"I wieh to thank you for your great
orbearance,” said the departing guest.
"Oh—er—don't mention it,” answered
he proprietor, with a slightly pusaled
>ok. "I’m glad you’re pleased.”
"Yes,” continued the d. g., "consld
-ing the rapacity of the affendants in
his hotel, I deem myself fortunate in
ot being locked in my room and held
or ransom.”
OVERBURDENED
"Now that Miss Peacher has come
ack from a finishing school, does she
ut on any more airs than she did be-'
ore she went away?”
"I hear she does,” answered Miss
iadson, “but considering the number she
ad when she left, 1 can't Imagine where
he puts the new ones.”
*******•*•••••■•••■•*•■••••••••••••••••••••••••••••!
SONS OF THE TROUBADOURS I
Tom the Kansas City Star.
1NCE the blind Homer first smote
his lyre by the shores of a storied
sea, men have known there are no
ules for poetry, but only first principles,
'hat poetry is bore, not made; created
ot manufactured. So this present day
lioal of "poets” called lmagtsts, these
lieroscopic anatomists who dissect the
oul of a louse and herald the result as
child of the soaring spirit of poesy,
annot be accused of violating rules be
ause they write not in rhyme and
hythm.
For poetry does not say that those
lio interpret it must do so In flowing
nes and matchless rhymes. Such would
e rules. But it does say that the words
lust be nofcle, the lines mouth filling,
be whole a wild song which shall strike
len out of their ruts and chimney cor
ers, like an ungovernable storm which
escends upon a plain where men till the
lelds in routined ways and makea them
d know the power and the beauty, the
-.ajesty and grandeur, the splendor and
lie shattering might of God. This Is a
rincltle the dreary anatomists of the
ommon place do not follow.
With ptosey line upon line, where there
i no music, and In words as flat and
tale as ordinary conversation, these
nagtsts, these apostles of the vaunted
ew, extol what? Why, the great lib
elling motive which drives the furnace
lan to tipple over a can of beer rather
han attend to hla flrea. The uplifting
meura of a tom cat! Phew! They can
ARRANGING A GETAWAY
rom the Philadelphia Telegraph.
At a smoker sometime ago reference
•as made to the matter of favorite topics
f conversation.
One afternoon Brown and Green were
ommuning with each other in the lobby
f a hotel when a man with his coun
mance shining like great gladness
eaded their way.
"Hers comes Madison,” remarked
rown to bis friend, "Ho has just been
resented with a new baby, and he wilt
ilk us to death in telling of its glorieB."
"That's all right,' responded Green,
lancing in the opposite direction. "!
uess we will be able to fix tho thing."
"Come again, old man," said Brown,
ronderlngly, "I don’t get you."
"There's a neighbor of mine ove- there
ho lias just bought a new automobile,"
xplalned Green. "We will introduce /liem
nd then take a slide."
ANBNT MR. DINKBY
rom the Louisville Courler-Journel. |
What's In a name when Mr. Dinkey gets
be highest position within the gift of the
ttdvale Steel company, after a hunt for
man big enough for tho job?
SPEAKING OP GUILE
rom the New York Telegram.
Connecticut woman of 40 stole and mar
led the beau of her IS-year-okl daugn
;r. Honest, now, can ws trust any onej
like that with the ballot?
i dissect a suicide for you in most unpal
atable fashion, but they can never, never,
with one great line, give you a Romeo
struck dead by his own hand.
Shakespeare, Milton, Tennyson, Keats,
Swinburne. Shelley, a splendid company,
Gapgantaun shapes that wing from out
tho past each in his own bright nimbus,
those are the sohb of the Troubadours.
These ore they to set the heart u-gallop,
to start the tears, to make the blood to
b'nze w.'th*a fire divine.
And do these sons of tho Troubadours
hold up to the gaze of the disgusted
world the dishwater from the kitchen
sink? Or. do they not rather cast a epeil
upon the dishwater, weave a charm of
idealization about tbe commonplace and
so achieve that which shall tear your
heart out by the roots and hold It quiv
ering!
On the one hand, what? Life as it Is—
perhaps. A very mean thing, and living
is not worth the trouble If this be all!
On the other hand, thrown at you with
a line or two, what? Castles In the air
and old royal banners flaunting from the
battlements. The fanfaronade of silver
trumpets. Launcelots going out the gale
to do their devoirs. Guineveres waving
to them from the latticed windows. Gala
hads bent upon deeds of high emprise.
The sea making a moan upon mysterious
sands.
Here the anatomists of the mediocre.
There the flaming sons of the Trou
badours, lighted torches In the murky
night.
•i
MORALITY
By Matthew Arnold. j
We cannot kindle when we will j
The fire which In the heart resides; j
The spirit bloweth and Is still.
Tti mystery our send abides. j
But tasks In hours of insight willed
Can be through hours of gloom fulfilled.
With aching hands and bleeding feet ^
We dig and heap, lay stone on stone;
We bear the burden snd the heat
Of the long day, and wish ’twer done.
Not till tho hours of light return
All we have built do wc discern.
Then, when the clouds are off the sou!^
When thou dost bask in Nature’s eye.
Ask, how she viewed thy self-control,
Thy struggling, tasked morality—
Nature, whose free, light, cheerful a’.r,
Oft made thee, In thy gloom, despair.
And she, whose answer thou dost dread.
Whose eye thou wast afraid to seek,
See, on her face a glow is spread,
A strong emotion on her cheek!
“Ah, child," she cries, “that strife di
vine. 14
, Whence was It, for It was not mine?
"There is no effort on my brow—
t do not strive, I do not weep;
I rush with the swift spheres and glow
In Joy, and when I will, I s'eep. j
Yet that severe, that earnest air,
1 saw, I felt It once—but where? j
“J know not yet the gauge of time,
Nor wore the menacles of space; I
I felt- It In some other cllfnc,
X saw it. in some other place.
’Twas when the heavenly house I troth
A»d In$ upqn tlye breast of God." i
rank ingratitude
The modem prison seems to bo
A pleasant place in which to stay;
Therefore it greatly puzzles me
Why convicts want to run away,
A BRIGHT PROSPECT
"I suppose you have hopes that your
little son will be President of the United
States some day?”
"No.”
"Come, come. Fatherly prkle is alt
right. I wouldn't think any the less ot
you If you had such hopes."
“ 'Fatherly pride,’ eh? Well, I have
plenty of that In fact, something tells
me that this boy of mine is going to
grow up and pitch a world series some
day."
AFTER A JOB
"Who is that fellaw eulogizing ‘this
grand and glorious republic’?"
"I don’t know who he is, but when
you hear a man talking like that the
chances are 10 to 1 that he thinks 'this
grand and glorious republic’ ought to
support him.”
SQUELCHED
■'I gave up smoking for you,” said lie.
"What did you give up for me?”
"Seven of the finest fellows in the
world,” said she And then silence
reigned.
WHERE IS HE?”
Lives there the man who hasn't said,
While planking down liis “movie"'
dime.
"Jf 1 had Charley Chaplin's wage.
1 sure would have a lovely time?"