The Chattanooga news. [volume], March 12, 1918, LATE EDITION, Page 4, Image 4

About The Chattanooga news. [volume] (Chattanooga, Tenn.) 1891-1939

Image provided by: University of Tennessee

                
TUESDAY, MARCH 1 1918.
4
THE CHATTANOOGA NEWS
CHATTANOOGA NEWS
PUBLISHED BY THt CHATTANOOGA
NEWS CO.
Entered at the Chattanooga Postoffice as
secona-uiasa Bwr,
If roil have any troubia getting Tha
News, telaphona tha Circulation Da
. partmant and hava It promptly rerae
a-ea.
Snecisi Advertising Agents: John M.
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York; Mailers' building, Chicago;
Chemical building, eu Luis.
Rates of Subscription By-carrier: One
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six months, $2.16; twelve months. $4.00,
' MEMBER OF ASSOCIATED PRESS
Tha Associated Press la exclusively en
tltled to uaa for republication all new
(iiapatchea credited to it or not other
via credited In thla paper, and also
. tha 'ocal newa published herein. All
rights of republication of apeclal dls
patents Herein are also reserved.
Secretary Baker's mail should be
forwarded to "somewhere In France."
, uncle Bam and John McQraw are
clashing; over the services of Benny
' Kauff.
Tom Marshall also discourages so
much talking. Wants everybody to
(keep still and listen to, what he has
to say. - - - .
' When Mr. Hearst starts on his
march to Washington, the Louisville
Post promlsesrto meet snd engage him
at Phllippl.
' Congressman Sum R. Sells Is doing
things for his "deestrick." Perhaps
Judge Dana Harmon will claim the
credit, however.
The president lets it be known that
he does not consider this country
bound by any treaty which Germany
may force uj on Russia.
Knox county republicans are said to
be making an unusual effort to safe
guard an honest election at their ap
proaching county primary.
Delaware's legislature has been
called Into extra session by the gov
ernor, who urges the ratification of
the national prohibition amendment.
Gov. Henderson, of Alabama, wants
German prisoners to work on farms.
Very good Idea. Here's hoping Persh
ing may rake In more if them to work.
Secretary Baker probably felt that
his experience with gas attacks In the
1 senate peculiarly fitted him to inspect
conditions on the front "somewhere in
France."
Now that it la too late to remedy
the defect, If It exists, the "wets" claim
to hava discovered that the petition
asking for a local option election In
Chicago is illegal.
- Well, the peach orop has passed an
other crisis. But it Is too soon to brag,
, The lugubrious prophet reminds us
that there is always a "squall" during
the Easter season!
Preparations are being made for
census of the Philippines. When thai
Is consummated Uncle Mam mny
know whether his troubles are In
creasing or diminishing. .
The Jacksonville Times-Union thinks
we In this country ought not to
sigh for entertainment this year, see
Ing that, In addition to the war, we
have baseball and politics. ,
The New York World haa had noth
ing to say lately shout the south's
forcing prohibition on New York, that
slate is expected to join In the "forc
ing" process most any day now.
Mexico assures us for the 'steenth
time that the has no intention of red
- Ing a naval base to Japan or anybody
"else. This will probably settle the
matter until aay arter tiwnorrow.
- A country exchange wanta the farmer
to keep the hens on the farm and "see
to It that every sitter Is supplied with
a nice nest of cegs." Petter leave the
last part of It to the "sitter" herself.
"No progress by debate; blows the
only argument." declares Prof. Tnft.
And everybody agrees that the pro
lessor could strike a blow that would
make 'em leery, once he made up Ms
mind to do it.
No news Is said to be good news.
If one ehould sec the nnme of a rein-
' tive In a menially list but receive no
Information from the war department,
he may safely conclude that it was
somebody else bearing the same name,
In anticipation of a coal shortage
next winter. Gov. PrumhauRh, of Penn
sylvania, .thinks it might help some if
we decided now that no coal should
be used In saloons and breweries. It
would, and the brewery part might be
cut off now.
R. M. Gates, Washington corre
- spondent of the Memphls.Commerclal
, innul haa hpen made "Indexer of
records" for the senate, a position e
timated to pay from $6,000 to $10,000
a year. The "profeah" will extend con
gratulations mingled with more or less
envy.
"The wiatter of abolishing James
county and annexing Its territory to
Mamiltnn la. It arrears. again up for
consideration. While from a stand
point Of Interest in the proposition.
Hamilton county would be ' more or
less Indifferent to the movement. It
seems that It ought to be quite popular
In James. An effort wss made tn the
0't to dissolve the county, but the en
abling act was held Invalid by the su
preme court It has been a long time
since a county was abolished In Ten
nessee, but it baa been done. There
was once a Tennessee county from
whoia territory portions of Montgom-
rr 1; ... 2..Mnnafl. rviilntia
- , nuuciiwii aim .jut....-
Wer vaj ved. I
PROUD OF OUR DOCTOR8.
, Chattanooga has every reason to be
gratified, wa believe, that near here,
la Camp Greenleaf, at Chlckamauga,
so many of tha medical officers who
are to serve their country In the pres
ent war have been and are to be edu
cated.
The function of the physician Is
one of the highest on the battlefield,
and all connected with war. He
follows- the men to tha first line
trenches and If they are wounded ad
ministers his relief right there, under
the storm of shot and shell. The per
centage of mortality among medical
officers has been high. It has been
learned during this -war that the ra
piaity with which wounded men are
brought to a surgeon's care and op.
erated on has much to do with the
saving of life or limb and the return
of a larger percentage to the list of
effectives.' Surgeons are . In the
trenches, and hospitals are nearer to
tha front than ever before.
On tha forty thousand officers who
have been or will be graduated from
Camp Greenleaf will depend the lives
of thousands, even hundreds of thou
sands of Americans. Perhaps tha sue
cess of the war may depend upon their
noble work. , No class of men make
greater financial and personal sacri
fices than the physicians who enter
army service. They average older,
more are married and have families,
and in many cases they leave prac
tices worth thousands of dollars a
year.
That was a fine body of officers who
marched past the reviewing stand
yesterday. The beat medical talent in
the country was represented. The
young man today who becomes a phy
sician must not only acquire a good
academic education, but must spend
four years at a medical college. No
class of professional men are so well
Instructed.
The physician tolls for a lifetime to
discover some great medical truth and
then he gives his priceless discovery
fo the world. He keeps nothing for
himself. There were two men here
yesterday who represent, perhaps,
better than others what medicine and
surgery are doing for the world.
There was Dr. Gorgas, now surgeon
general of the army, the Alabamlan,
graduate of our own Sewanee, who
has freed the tropics of yellow fever;
there was Dr. Chas. Mayo, probably
the world's most eminent surgeon, who
has Just endowed the University of
Wisconsin, with most of the Immense
fortune made by his brother and him
self. The American surgeon, with the
nurses of the Red Cross, will go Into
the xone of fire. They will adminis
ter to friend and foe alike. In the
frightful passions of wsr the idea of
the brotherhood of nu n might be lost
entirely if It were not for the grati
tude which raptured soldiers crry
back home for the ministrations of the
physicians and nurses of the enemy.
Chattanooga has watched the Instltu
Hon under Col. Pago grow to Us splen
did size snd his achievements have
won for us the expansion of the medl
eel school. It Is Chattanooga's great
pride today.
MR. ADOLPH 8. OCHS.
i lie nrst experience in newspaper
making rained by Adolph H. Ocha was
as a printer on the old Knoxvllle
Chronicle, the newspaper which suc
ceeded Brownlow's Knoxvllle Whig,
The Chronicle was edited by Capt,
Wm, Rule, who Is now the aged dean
of Tennessee editors, doing his dally
task on the editorial pane of the
Knoxvllle Journal and Tribune. An
other contemporary of Mr. Ochs on the
Chronicle was Richard W. Austin,
who for a time was Its business man
ager and now represents ths Second
district In congress. Mr. Ochs also car
ried a route on the Chronicle, Knox
vllle has not changed much In the
older residence district and recently
the great New York publisher walked
over his old carrier route on Main,
Church. Cumberland, Walnut, Prince
and other streets and pointed out
where old Chronicle subscribers lived.
He didn't miss a house, so accurste
was his memory.
His success has been partly due to
the fart that he was a muster over lit
tle things, and thus he came to rule
over great things. He hnd a good
memory, lie was lnduMiloua. lie was
endowed with plenty of hard, common
sense. He wus Just. He was chival
rous. Now he Is In many respects at the
head of American Journalism. We do
not always ngrco with the policies of
the New York Times, but we must al-
ways concede Its great force, consist
ency and breadth of view, and Its com
pleteness as a newspaper ef Informa-
tlon. In the opinion f most competent
newspaper critics It Is the greatest of
American newspapers.
It has been brounht to this high
state by a Tcnnessenn, a former Chat-
tanooaan.
Today Adolph S. Ochs Is sixty years
of age. His friends and silmlrers here
join heartily In the wish that he may
be spared for many years more of even
greater usefulness to his country and
the world.
The Clarksvllle l.eaf -Chronicle In
dorses recent editorials of this paper
and of tlic Cleveland Ranner rel
ative to the. ort of man needed for
governor and declares that Clarksvllle
has the tery man we want. We limy
be led to agree with the Leaf-Chron
icle If it can lTt xiia.le Its man to let
the Imlance of us know a much alHiut
Ms definite' plan" as It professes to
know.
It Is enld that the practical suspen
sion of immigration may rcMilt in the
Closing of the Kilts Island Immigrant
station at New York. It from this
source that ex -Gov. lix rtvently de
clared that the population of Ni w
York's Insaue asylums was mainly it.
rrulted and for which be thought tin-
general government owed New Yoik
an Immense sum. ine countiy ,u-
e rally would peihups welcome the suspension.
THAT RAILROAD BILL.
The provision of the McAdoO rail
road bill limiting state taxes on rail
roads while under government control
to the previous ratio Is said to "meet
opposition at Albany." Progressive
taxation of railroads is a settled policy
of most states. But if the roads them
selves must remain content with the
three years' previous average of in-
come, cannot the states do as much?
New York World.
It is not an argument against the
enactment of the railroad bill to Insist
that its every provision should be care
fully studied as to its possible effects
other than those in the minds of Its
framers and advocates. The railroad
question is 'one which vitally affects
tha revenue of all the other states as
well as New York. Disturbance of this
relation will involve radical readjust
ments of the revenue system of every
state in the Union. If the roads are
taken over permanently, one of the
most productive sources of revenue for
the states will be lost, unless per
chance the government reverses its
time-honored,poIlcy and permits -4he
states to tax its 'property. Even tem
porary control is not free from inter
ference with the states, as is shown
by the extract printed above
We have heretofore had occasion to
refer to this phase of the situation as
It affects Tennessee when we have
urged the election of the very best men
obtainable for governor and legislators,
We have insisted that some other
method than raising the tax rate be
adopted to relieve the financial condl
tlon of this state, even before the ad
ministration railroad bill limited tax
atlon to the present rate. Now, we
shall have no choice in the matter if
the railroad bill passes, which is as
sured, for we cannot raise the rate on
other property and leave that on rail
roads at the present figure We had
just as well begin the preparation of
some sort of scheme for reducing ex
penses and for hunting out sources of
revenue heretofore concealed.
There is another feature which we
also have previously mentioned. And
that is that, whereas tha rfvenue at
present being derived from personal
property taxes is much below what it
ought to be, there is not much proba
blllty of its beln- materially increased,
matters not the method adopted. This
arises from the fact that much of the
personal property the money, in fact
has been Invested In- non-taxame
U. 8. bonds, and much more will be so
Invested. The state's revenue from
personal property will do mighty well
If It does not show a falling off over
previous years,
We mention these things here tnat
the people may be thinking about them,
and that those who are planning to en
r the state's government may be con
slderlng ways ot meeting a situation
which is sura to confront them. As
we soe It, a radical retrenchment In
etnnnaes or bankruptcy are alterna
tives which we shall be forced to con
slder. It would be a fine Idea to Invita
candidates' attention to the problem
and ask them to propose a plan for
solution.
THE EMBARGO'S EFFECTS.
Discussing effects of the American
embargo, (be Ixiulsvllle Evening Post
says editorially:
"January trade returns demonstrate
with mathematical certainty the In-
rreaalnf efficiency of the Amorlcan
embargo upon goods shipped to der
many through neutral nations. In Jan.
uary. 1J17, total exports from this
country to Sweden aggregated $5,874,- I
000; In the same month in 191 the
total was $4,400. Holland took in Jan
uary, 1917, goods worth $14,776,000
from America; the export to .that
country In January of this year totals
only $405,000. Germany may be able
to get some wheat and oil from Rucurred than our assurance to the hard
slo, but she will not be able to get any
cotton from the United States through
Holland or Sweden."
Some time ago, we called attention
to tha matter and declared that tha
efficacy of the embargo as a war
weapon ought not much longer re
main in doubt. These figures demon
strate that It has practically obliter
ated the trade upon which it was saM
that Germany was dopcndlng to re
cruit her supplies. But while the
blockade has been tightened on the
west, it ks been broken on the east.
Germany will still be unable to obtain
cotton, rubber, etc., but she win protv
ably get some food from Rumania and
the Ukraine.
Our embargo on foods caused a de
cidedly unfriendly feeling at nrsl
among some of the European neutrals,
but it Is hoped that a method has been
found for placating them on terms
mutually satisfactory. The embargo
is a cruel weapon st best, but that Is
the kind of enemy we are dealing with
It Is within the memory of old men
that senators and congressmen got
along without secretaries. Then they
put their heads together and decided
to appropriate $1,100 a year apiece for
the purpose of providing secretaries,
the public welfare, of course, requlr-
4ng tt. later the appropriation was
Increased to $1,500 a year, then $1,800,
and now rests at $2,000. There's no
civil service examination about tt. each
senator and congressman makes his
own selection. One mny appoint his
son. Ms daughter or even his wife If
he likes, and quite often he likes. Rut
all these safeguards have not been euN
flclent to satisfy members of the house.
In the senate, the appointment of sec
retailes Is certified and their names
placed on the public payroll. Not so
In the house. In the house each mem
ber draws $?.0H for clerk hire and
pays whatever lie ptensca or ran pick
up a clefk for. Savings effected In this
way go Into the congressional exche
quer, not Into the coffers of Uncle
Sam. who Is supposed to be rich and
cureless about expense. From $500 to
Sl.OnO In added to the legal salary. In
some Instances. !n this way. It has
also l-ecn charged within the present
oxigirss that blgh-s:iarled secretaries
lime Iw-en proposed for t ongr Miiml
committers which nrr hold a meeting.
Profiteer and slacker.
.The terms profiteer and slacker are
both of foreign origin. -They were im
ported into this country from England
where their usage had become quite
common before thla country entered
the war. They are terms of reproach.
and that they are sometimes unjustly
applied goes without saying. They are
cruel words. No one likes to have
either of them leveled at htm. But that
there Is much occasion for their use
Is also generally admitted. And the
former Is probably inore often deserved
than the better. The Birmingham
Ledger mentions an instance of prof
tteerlng brought to its attention by
Mayor 1 Preston, of Jasper, Ala, who
has Just returned from a trip to Wash
ington, Baltimore and other eastern
cities. . ; It, quotes Mayor Preston as
follows: "'
"The eastern section of the country
is certainly a busy locality at the pres
ent iime, ; and In ordinary business
lines, especially where necessities are
involved,' the man who has got some
thing to seine taking advantage of the
war to get the highest price possible
from the consumer. At Washington
prices hava jumped out of sight with
the crowd that has been added to tho
population. For Instance, my room at
a hotel cost ma $10 per day, and it was
tn, same room tnat uaed to bring not
more than $4. Profiteering on the,war
seems to be the motto of the little
man. as well. as the. big man."
The Washington hotel men doubtless
observe the hordes which flock to the
capital seeking opportunity to fatten
off of some oort of government con
tract, and think they also had as well
thrust In the sickle and reap a share
of the spoil. And in doing this, they
are probably not over particular w
discriminate between the profiteering
of others and legitimate business.
Profiteering Is only another word for
selfishness, which never does look well
when disrobed. Its exorbitant exac
tions are what has caused this and
other countries to enter upon the un
scientific expedient of price-fixing. It
Is really the underlying issue of the
war.
"WAR HYSTERIA."
The Brownsville States-Graphic can
see nothing to be gained by a state of
continual hysteria over the war.
Among other things, it recently de
clared : i
"Nothing can be more harmful to
the business life of the country than
for the people to give way to hysteria
over the war. There are enough dis
turbing factors in the business situa
tion growing out of the war problems,
without our adding to them unneces
sarily. But this we do whenever we
permit thoughts of the war to obtrude
Into business or cause us to vacillate
or hesitate over ordinary Business
problems."
We believe the States-Graphlo
right. The American people fiave
serious problem before them, and
it
doesn't seem as if its solution will be
rendered any easier by losing their
heads. The situation is grave enough
at best without our making it any
worse. Wa can best meet it by keep
ing sober and lending our co-operation
in every wey possible. And by having
as little as possible to do with wild
and anaational reports.
The States-Graphlo sensibly declares
we may do the most good, if farmers,
by producing Just as large crops as
we can, and, if engaged in other lines
of work, by doing our level best to
make good, and to make up for the
general shortage of workers. Let us
anticipate) such unavoidable changes
as may come to us and adapt ourselves
to them as best we may. Let us have
business ss nearly as possible as usual,
We will stick to Russia, Nothing
more Inspiring during the war has oc-
pressed people, threatened with dc
privnl of their cherished liberty, that
the great republic on the west will not
abandon Its sister at this trying hour,
Overrun by the German hordes on their
WOstern lands, threatened on the east.
attacked by separatist movements here
and there, the hour for Russia Is dark.
Hut the fires of liberty kindled In the
revolution of a year ago still burn.
Though no army or navy clothes their
bodies in armor their hearts are still
undaunted. They have had to yield to
nneilor ennmv. but it has been a
,,vrrhlc vlctory for Germany and the
Idoa which has been the force in the
revolution is not crushed. It cannot
bo retained by armed forces or inter
national boundaries. Our president is
wiser than many of our people who
scoff at Russia and would abandon hex
to her fate. As he said in the last
message the sold test of nations today
is the manner in which they regard the
Russian revolutionaries.
Ty Cobb is a veteran in oasenau
ei vice still his age is. inside tne
draft age limits.
LOBBY AT LOCAL T
FILLED WITH MUSIC
World Contestants in Endur-
ance Singing Give Im
promptu Program-
At a late hour Saturday evening the
Y. M. C. .. lobby became unusually
enlivened by the playing and singing
of two companies of musical talent.
M. Oppenhelm, of Atlanta: Bert Alar-
tin and Harry Moore, or Montreal,
Canada. Mr. Oppenhelm made nis
usual hit with the popular songs or tne
hour, accompanied on the piano by M.
Martin. Mr. Martin and Mr. Moore
gave two of tneir own i-iri-liun.
lllar Down and IMIar a A eek ana
O Poet or. Send Me a urse. air.
Martin also played the difficult piano
forte composition. "Havanola. known
as the masterpiece or uani-mg mumc
Moth companies' efforts were appreci
ated by the men.
Mr. Oppenhcim expects to mum in
two weeks from Nashville, wheie lie
finished his world contest In endur
ance singing. Iteginnina 1-co. i.. i?i.
p. haa been singma nmi hours a u
and has 15! hours overtime to his j
OUTBURSTS OF EVERETT
THE JARR
By Roy H
(Copyright, 1918, by the Press Publishing
"My, it would make sore eyes well
to see you fellers again!" cried Gus,
the proprietor of the cafe on the cor
ner, as Mr. Jarr
and his friend
Bangle entered.
"Yes, what's
the matter? Have
you been chucked
out of your own
home?" asked
Slavlnsky, the
glazier, who had
been confabbing
with Gus when
Rang-le and Jarr
entered.
"Slavlnsky!" cried Gus angrily, "how
many times have I told you that if any
body is to Insult my customers it is to
be me? You go to your own glass-put-in
shop and insult your customers so
much as you like, but don't Insult my
oxistomers when I am here to do it I"
"Don't I want to make 'em feel at
home here, just like you do?" ventured
the surprised Slavlnsky.
"I don't know what's the matter, on
top the troubles I already got!" re
marked Gus gloomily. "Here is the
war, and high taxes and prohibition,
and near-beer, and license renewal not
far awsy, and my cigar man won't ex
tend me credit ninety days, and every
thing! And now Slavlnsky insults my
customers in my own place. I want
everybody to know ft now that I can
attend to my own business and when I
can't attend to it I got a bartender
what can attend to it, althoutfh Elmer,
my bartender, is nothing but a loafer
what don't care what happens, and
never gets mad If I'm Insulted or you're
Insulted or he's insulted!"
"It is too bad you haven't a little
of Elmer's pleasant nature," remarked
Mr. Jarr.
"It's easv enough for him to have a
please nt nat ure when he ain't the boss
and It don't cost him nothing,' replied
Gus. "But if I ever was one bit good-
natured everybody would ax me Tor
credit what wanted to owe me, and
everybody would ax me for cash that
credit When questioned by tne re
porter he stated that ho had been car
rying on his contest exclusively tn
10-cent stores, where everyone could
hear him and where the strain was
greatest. Having already won the
prise of $5,000, which will be given him
in Nashville, he declared hjj intention
of giving $2,000 of this to the New
York Y. M. C. A. and the other $3,000
to his sister, who Is now training for
opera with the Metropolitan Opera
company. Mr. Oppenhelm expects to
be In uniform within thirty days, the
government having only granted him
special p-.mlsslon to finish his con
test.
Messrs. Martin and Moore, hoth Ca
nadians, of the comfiany of Martin A
Moore, with B. F. Keith's vaudeville.
have broken off further engagements
and Joined the quartermaster's corps
at Oglethorpe. They have promised to
return to the "Y" Tuesday evening.
The Y. M. C. A. appreciates the Inter
est of these musicians In furnishing
entertainment for the soldiers, after
their strenuous day at the local store.
SIKAUTV DEALS RECORDED
AT THE COUNTY COURTHOUSE
Norman Elberfeld and wife to Wlnfred
D. Wagner, land In Second district;
$.800.
R. T. Wright et al. to W. W. Little
and wife, land In Sixth district; $1,400.
Thomas Trlmby and wife to A. L.
Dyer and wife, !and in old Fifth district;
$2,200.
Perrett A. Smith and wife to Warren
A. Kohr. land In First district; 14.150.
John T. Fslkner and wife to Kugene J.
Bryan and wife, land In second district:
.000. 1
John Holland and. wife to Luella Mar-
guret JenkMi. land In Sixth district;:
$350. ;
Nellie Sctiolie Cole and husband t i
John H. Wilson, land in Fourth district; ;
$1,150. I
H. P. Alexander to Mry T. Montague. 1
lot 10. block 15. ast End Land company !
addition: $1,000.
W. S. Beck and wife to John A. Brown
and wife, land In Second district; $5 SWV
M. A. Cooper and wlte to Flunk. H. 1
rayne and wife, land in Cooke and,
Hutchison's addition; $4.00(1.
J. H. Toe and wife to John Cox. land
In Third district;
J. !. Foe snd wife to John Cox, land 1
In Third dlstrl.-t; $loi.
A. U Gregory and wife to ftoy E.
Butler snd wile, lot 21. block . tn Olm-
tcd s subdivision to Mindell Fork; $1,100.1
By Coodo
FAMILY
McCardell
Co. Tha New York Evening World.)
didn't want me to owe them"
TRUE
ain't so -natured..th.!FA1,!:,tttureJ' ? ?fh A? S
"Well, I
either,1
said Mr. Slavlnsky. "When II J"' nu 1 ""'""'."'
id to put in winder glass I al- ceDUlDy- .
go aroun
ways take my little boylwy wb, me
f0 ali cross with him when the
"UUD l" vm'
Then T mav ' M 1 .u ' tnr- it' it .an.,.llif
then I say 'Missus,' for it's generally
the wlmmen what is around to pay for
glass put in 'Missus, don't scold my
little boy because I already done it If
he has charged you for A pane of glass
twenty-by-thlrty when It's really only
eighteen-by-twent.y-slx, don't forget I
had to cut It down from twenty-by.
thirty, and the trimmings Is a dead loss
to me. I ain't like Bepler, the butcher,
who gets paid for the trimmings at
30 cents a pound and more from the
customer, and then sells the trimmings
at 6 cents a pound or more
"Never you mind my business, you
mind your business!" interrupted Bep
ler, the butcher. "When people breaks
glass in a winder they got to have new
glass put in, no matter what it costs.
But when meat Is too dear to eat, no
body eats it!"
"Don't mske so much fuss in here!"
Interrupted Gus. "My wife; Lena, up
stairs, I can hear her. walking around
on her heels. And when I go upstairs
tonight she'll give me a calling down
for all the noise what's "been going on,
especially when she finds out how little
has been rung up on the cash register.
For, If you will notice, a good business
aont make a lot of noise. I notice when
. we ha.ve nothing but arguments, that's
all we do have."
"I don't hear your wife- complain
ing," remarked Mr. Jarr.
"And yet she has every right to," said
Mr. Rangle.
"She's a fine woman," said Mr. Slav
lnsky. "She ain't got no use for me,
so proud she is!"
"And good looking, too,' said Mr.
Bepler admiringly. "I'll bet she weighs
180, dressed, as ,we say in the provi
sion trade."
"A queen among women. Indeed!"
murmured Mr. Jarr.
At these commendations of the pul
chritude of his wife Gus grew all
puffed up.
"Well, I didn't say she wasnt a
looker," he remarked. "I don't want
to brag about it . ou know; but I can
tell you this much when my wife,
Lena, Is all dressed up she can't walk
down the street but what loafers in
sult her, she looks so swell!"
"Have a care, then, how you speak
of this paragon of her sex." said Mr.
Jarr impressively. "What would you
do, Gus, If she should learn of your
carping remarks as to her temper, and
If she should go out from your life for
ever?" "Leave me, you mean?" asked Gus.
"Well, I guess I'd marry again and put
up a sign, 'This Business Under En
tirely New Management' what else?"
ESTABLISHED 1887
The P
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Provident Building - - - Chattanooga, Tenn.
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AMONG THE BRETHREN.-
The Cleveland Banner observes:
"Everybody .has been busy getting:
garden ground in shape to help fight
off the high cost of living and the
kaiser."
Remarks the Brownsville States
Graphic: "We are perfectly willing
that that pig; should have the privilege
of making a hog of himself." So say
we all. .
"Make up your mind now to Invest
in liberty bonds, and when you are ap
proached about the matter be ready to
respond," Is a timely suggestion of the
South Pittsburg Hustler.
"Whisky la rapidly disappearing. The
last pint In Tennessee will bring as
high a price as a ton of coal," remarks
the Hardeman Free Press. Judge for
yourself whether Editor Reeves is ex
piessing bis own personal feelings.
The following, from the Cleveland
Herald Indicates a form of warfare in
which nearly all may engage: "There
has been renewed and vigorous activity
in the, war against the kaiser in the
American garden."
A good many folks are inclined to
adopt the Rockwood Times view of the
Russian situation, which is as follows:
"It looks a little at present like there
might not be any Russia after the new
European. map is made following the
closing of the war."
"The woods are getting green. Wheat
prospects were never better. It is said
most of the peach crop is killed. More
sod land is being turned than in our
history. , This means a big corn crop."
is the way the Newport Plain i Talk
views the situation.
You'll feel an irresistible Impulse to
take up the spade fork on reading this
from the Johnson City Staff: "If you
do not make that spring garden your
neighbor's chickens will be left without
freshly turned earth In which to
scratch."
The Clarksvllle Leaf-Chronicle per
petrates the following bit of philos
ophy: "Have a good word for every
body. The only man who has a right
to look down on others Is the man in
an airship. Even the tombstones speak
well of those beneath them."
Every stray dog c4h testify to the
truth of the following lines from the
Paris Parisian: "One of the things
that never gets Into the spring poems
Is the tin can crop that shows up in
the back yard when the snow begins
to disappear."
The Athens Post comments thusly On
i the rumor that a neighbor dentist will
j be a candidate: "It Is said that Dr.
I W. W. Grant will be a candidate for
Remarks the Knoxvllle Journal and
Tribune: "Bryan has not.said he will
or if he will not be the president lul
I , , . -
candidate of the new party recently
given birth in Chicago." Nor really, tor
that matter, has the editor of the Jour-
na! and Tribune.
Barring the single word "if, the fol
lowing from the McMinnville Standard
has a wholesome, hopeful ring: "There
is healthful, remunerative work on
farms for all who are willing to work,
and there are plenty of men and boys
left to do the farm work if they can
only be gotten on the Job."
That there are busy times ahead for
the Johnson City Staff, now that the
daily Comet has ceased to function
may be Inferred from the following:
"Piscatorial sharps say the flshinpr i
going to be fine this year.'. But alas!
There won't be many of us this year
who have time for fishing."
The Nashville Banner, which nearly '
always knows, submits the following
encouraging bit of information: "There
is no grood reason for worry over our
shipbuilding progress. Chairman Hur
ley has stated that we now have 180
shipyards, with 700 ways and 500,000
men at work, 260,000 in reserve. Surely
the output ought soon to be sufficient
to worry Von Tlrpitz and his little
submarine assassins."
We infer from the following that the
Copper City Advance has some, other
choice than t,he governor for senator:
"If Gov. Rye is to become a candidate
for the senate the people would like to
know on what he bases his claim to
that office. A platform constructed
from his record as governor will col
lapse after the first volley from the
forces of either Shields or Cates."
Noting the allegation that food prices
are lower In England than tn this
country, the Sparta Expositor declares:
"Our government could fix the price
the consumer shall pay for a sack of
flour, at 60 cents, then pay the mill or
dealer the difference to make tho price
$1.50, and our people would be getting
flour at 50 cents. This Is the way It in
done In England, which explains the
injustice of the comparison. ,
Good sense and patriotism are both
contained In the following advice from
Mrs. Grundy: "Let us sell a little more
of the products we waste and Invest
the proceeds In thrift stamps. Every
stamp means more bullets for our sol
diers to fire into the enemy trenches
and at the end of five years we will
have a nest egg of savings which we
would never have thought of had not
this scheme of financing the war been
evolved."
ROVIDENT