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E HULED OUT Acccptancc of piM-sc (ot. vViiinitig thc Maratht,,, Against j A. A. U. Rules. SHOULD RECEIVE WARNING Famous fndinn ftuiinor Ls Un douhtctlty lgntjrtitit of Wrong j ? <lr'ing.. Tho annouhe^mew .frnm Toronto thnt Thomna Ldngboat,j u,.. Cowtdlnii-Indian long-dlstnnca runior, haa recelved a purse of $C0fi ns ? reward for wlnnlng tho Boatod A. A. Mtirathon raco marka another epoeb in t;?. Hvely llfe of tho nborlglne, Local Ithiletlc authorltlcs nro already propoiitidjig Longhont n prol the dlspatch froi recelved n numl nnd other girts j lu whleh he ia hi Tho Clty CounWi nucleua of a foi tha purpoae or tc lego lo eomplete Havlng accepted accordlng to tbe A iillncs of Ib- pa Ui' stlon, Ir irilng to red mnn watchc*. cl.il of tha f-Ht.-.-iii tn Ihe border. nt..| t.'.Vi ns ;? BUbBcrlbed fnr tl tc rjl moni y, l,?n*?l)c?it, ur Atlilctlo Unlon's prpfea alonai; Tlio caae.' Flie'fniJy W'cfera, c.n< of thc greateat I ' Amerlcnn sprfntera, now coachlnn at'Ju'iiilams College, ls nlml!ar Iu many pJtl'-ulnis. Dack in tbe dnys when W'cfer n,v,-iB al hla bcet, and waa defoatlng all ,f. crtfck uprlntefa . hls tlme, he enu-r the annual A. A. r. meet .it M?iihnttR Klohl. ill- wns a careor of Ylctory.Jrj Upon hls return to hla-home at Lalto., Maas., he waa greeted with n b j *]..,,... and flrc worka, after whlcrj ',iinn<-r wr.* tendered hlm. About tnojtoardj wero gnthOred tho frienda of afetirne, nnd fpllbwing c>r of thc town arose v with n purafl corl ?vfors accepted with lgUt UlO A. A. I'. Wll* -ney iviiH up un |h? Thero u-.-ih u llttle lRnd thn pursA was If It li.-id not becn lost his amateur i nnd tbr. only tlilnjt i hls statement that 1 was trnriHgrosslna rd n tii-ccptlng the bvi becn subscrlbed u v?s. Protested. tho banquet; tlu and preaented Hc talning some $S0n a ipeeeh of thnnk on hla trull, nnd carpet in no th heart to-henrt tn returned tn Its df i-o, Wefers wotili Btatus ln short o that savt-d hlm lin did not knov tho A. A. V. r donatlon after ! ln tlio manner Would <i Of eourse Lon ,t l* not und* JurlBdictlon of t^EvmTienn A. A. U., but that body Im.nn afclanco with the Canodian A. A. J,-|r4i?l ls waltlriB to seo what steps thof2 nlon body will take in thn mntter. i,,^ certaln that Bhoutil the red man seni?3 i,Ib t-ntry for a race to bo bebl ln t?or,|t. ,j Btatea be wou'd bo protested atM}20 by some of the pther I pjrd tho cxnmple o( Ina'r of tho Athens lipc year bro; but Slu-r Irla be wns ihrouEh wltli long after thnt cvont. li, ion th-re hns never [ iilty for thc States* him. although bo 1e as a professional. t)a*)nclltlons are dlfterent iglg upon nn athletic JoIsob tn h? tho seftBft [I lf the ftcerptinc of . a reward for wlnhlng itest Is to make hlin a JcP to thc Canasllnn and x> take stieh Hlep9 ?. hls frlends nnd pro *j tHatus. R l3 hurdly jvernlng bodios to per runners. Ho ShTrlnif, tho Jlarathon rac rlng nnnounc lonc-dlatanc and for tha been an i L'nlon to practleally With Lor.f. He is just c career wbk-h tlon of iho d' Bubscribed fu a road run nl: jirofc-flflor.al, Ameriean un wlll Bsve hln aerVe hls an falr for tho t M. mit tho abotnc to retaln tho purse in iKiioraneo lk-|t |a ruhilng hls ama? teur atandlngUrl p?-rimps ft v(.nr henco, Eome prnspeot) Sompctltor protests hlrn and ciiuscb h,i)r;> bo brandod a ??pro." Longboat ls "jn rara n runnor to be turned 1nto latofoflstonal by dilatory tactlcs. It'8 tt > tho two unlons to got together nnd /, hlm tbe benefit of tho fama chaneo -'t was ofTercd Wc-fers by tho Amnricat^. A. U. Then if Long? boat still dejes to rotaln tha coin, tho sln wll lon Ma own head. BYERS Ai\ HORSTMAN SK HONORS ABROAD NBW YOP. May 4;?IQben M. Ryers ancl V, Oderioratman have salled for n goiring tc of the famous Unks In Groat Urtta. IncHentally Uioy wlll play in themat- ui champlonshlp, to ho hold thiyear on the old St. An drow's llnkriu ihe week of May 24th. Tbe Rrltlshnmen's champlonshlp wlll bo nt Newotlo, Ireland, bogtnning Mny tith, ai tho Amerlcan champion, JIIsb H.-irrli c'nrtls. will bo ? sjarter. Her sister, Iss Marpnrot, twico run nor-up In y country for the natlonal tltlo, 'ls nl to enter. Byers is the present Anfican amatqur champion. WESTER. FACULTY HAS TOU OF "HARVARDITIS" MADISO W1S.. Mny I.?A hot flght Is on amo tho Wisconsin Unlvorsity's fnculty fo and against Intercollcglato athletlcs. ln* pppohenta of Intercol? lcglato gn , are In the mlnority, but thoy nro ljverful and tho Mlo of ath? letlcs at Jjllson hiinga in tlie balance. Tho chlef iijoctloii ls ngalnst football, whlch, tlu say. glvea trainlng to only a fow of !> 3,"iO0 atudents nt Madlson, and at th.-nmo timo dlvorts hundreds from theirrudles and incltes the sportlly Incllned tcrambllng nnd enrotisals. Ye Enters Henlev. PHILAELPHIA, May ?!.? Ynle Unl? verslty ijffip latost to enter an oigbt. onred crc*;for tho Anv?rican regatta to bo hr .hero Mny 25th. Tho Kli's aont in sjj'r notifIcatlon a fow days ago lhro;h Jullan Cuvtlss, Uio cliiof advlsor v.^ale, and a member of tho board ojatowards of tho Amorican Howlng 6Boolotion. Mr. Curtlss dld not spec.l tho event ln whlch tho crew ?would ifiipoto, but It is presumod thnt it \il; bo the junior collogo eight, wlilch i;tp be tho fenturo of tho rc gnttn. j V- D. Crenshaw,. Ind 1100 East Main Street . he Finest Equippcd and Best Cigar Store in tlie South. CH Stand ? New Fixtures ? New Stock Gjie where" you have the widest selection for your money. VIRGINIA UNIVERSITY'S STRONG BASEBALL TEAM Top ro??Hurrrtt, llrant, I.nntbcth, Uoohcr. Second ruiv?Suumdk, Horner, lt'iinilimii, Barrlnscr, Jobniun, Coeke. Thlrd nm-Fnlton. Klce, t.avrlcr, lloflf, AVnlkcr, Moore, lliilt.in, DouglnH. ' F6urth roir?C'onmd, Sowrle, Honnker. RICHMOND MENREGISTER IN THE AMATEUR UNION Twenty-Orte Applicants from This City Alone?Others in the State. Dr. Wllliam Orant, chnlrman of the South Atlantic Association of the Am? teur Athletlc Unlon. has mnde out hla report for the month of April. lt Hhov.-i the Rreateat Increase ln rogla tratlons from a city south of Wash? ington slnce tho A. A. U. has beon rec ognlzod ln thi* ?-?ctlnn or the country. In all there are thlrty-*lx appllca tlons whlcli have been made by athletes In tho State ot Vlrglnla ln tho past month. Thla *hnuld bo of great im portanro to niiu-.teur nthlotics not only In the litalo but especially ln lliia city, alnco twenty-one of thceo rcgislratlons are fnr members of the Richmond High School, the Olobo School and Mc CJuire's. Thls can meon but ono thlng, vla: thnt the South. nnd Richmond in partlcular, Is steadlly Increasing ln Htrength In regard to afnilatlon and co-ot-eratlon wlth the Amat.sur Athle tic Unlon. That thls can brlng nothlng but success and an envlable future to athletlc- Iu thls city, and the State cannot but be q,dmltted by all who aro well aceiualnted wlth the metliods ln use by the ..pfllciala of tho unlon throughout tbe country. It wlll irienn that Rlchmond and the entlre Stato wlll be a great factor ln nll futuro athletlc tneets and tournamenta, and that the South wlll soon be nbjo to cope with any section of the country ln any branch of sports which comoa undor tho jurisdiction of the A. A. U. But one thlng moro nooel bo sald ln conneetlon wlth thls most healthy groTrtli of the organization in this section of the country. Most of tho athletes who have applled and secured rc-glstratlon cards from tho A. A. U. were prompted ln their actlon alono by tho fact that tho inanagement of tho meet -whlch was ho d yesterday, pulled tho affalr off under a snnctlon frnm the nssoclatton whlch has dono more for pure amatour sports in Amer? ica than any othor slmllar organlza? tlon. and that ln order for local nnd State uthlolos to competo they were obliged to rogistor in the A. A. U. Thls, thorcfore, reflects groat crecltt on the men who havo hnd thls flrst outdoor meet that has ever boen of? fered to Rlchmond In charge, If yea terday's games aro to be taken as a pr.ocedent for tho gamea whlch fol low tliore is little doubt in tho mlnd but thnt the nffulr will become a flx turo ln athletlcs ln tlie State. The Regtstations. Regist. Number. Anron Harktnll, Hethany, B. C.... 88SI Bvan Harktall. Bathany, B. C... 3383 Edw. L. WlttEtatt, Bethany, B. C. 33S3 Iternnrd Cortidan, Bloom'dalo A. C. 338-1 WillluiiiHaniniott. Bloom'dalo A. C. 33S5 tielgh Morrls, Bloomlngdalo A, C.. 3380 Frank Marsden, Bloomlngdalo A. C. 3387 Harry N'lchola, Bloomlngdalo A. C. 3388 Lee Turner, Bloonilngdalo A. C.,. 3289 A. .1. Nee. Carroll Inatltuto. 3300 Hnl K. Soul, Mi. AVnsli. C. 3301 13. F. Trncy. St. Jolin's C. 3302 A. Allen Muso, Y. M. C. A., Bris tol, Va. 3393 li. M. Forysth. McGulre-'s School.. 3394 T. D. Adams, 'McGnIro's School.... 3395 Sewoll Oliver, Bnlto. Ath. 0. 3390 Frod C, Colston, Balto. Ath. C. 3397 Lntrobo Cogswell^ Balto. Ath. C 3398 J. A. SoIIman. Balto. Ath.C.3399 Gllbert O. Erickson, Gallaudet W. C.2400 Wnltor Brlgsrs, Glabo Hch.3401 F. W. Connolly. Va. Polyt. lnst.. 8402 K. E. Dlffendale, Va. Polyt. lnst. 3403 Guv FitzpatrlcK. Vn, Polyt. lnst.. 3101 A. W; Grant, Jr., Va. Polyt. lnst.. 340B Ira T. Holt. Jr.. Va. Polyt. Inat.. S406 ! Paul P. Huffard, Va. Polyt. lnst.. 3407 II. D. Hodgson. Va. Polyt'h ln.. 3403 H. G. Jones. Va. Polyt'h. tn...3409 Joseph Luttrell. Va. Polyt'h ln.. 3410 P. H. Notand. Va. Polyt'h ln.8411 C. Osborne. Va. Polyt'h In.3418 U H. Owen. Va. Polyt'h ln.3413 W. H. Ru.isell. Va. Polyt'h. In_3414 G. J. Stone. Va. Polyt'h. In.841$ F. C. Cooper, McGuire'B School.. 3416 W. P. Davidson. McGulre's School. 3417 B. N. Mann, McGulro's School.... 3419 R. C. Syfan, McGulre'j, School.... 3419 W. Taylor, McGulre's School..... 3420 J. H, Taylor. McGulre's School... 8421 H. D. Walker. McGulre's Rchpol.. 3428 C Williams, McGulre's School.... 342J J. H. Well ford, McGulre's School.. 8424 R. O. Brock, Jr? Rleh. High Sch.. 3425 J. Lewls Hnok, Rich. High Sch.. 3420 Ira Dechonsten, Rich. High Sch... .3427 , Bobert W. MIloa, Rich. High Sch.. 342S Wllliam J. Moll, Rich. High Sch.. 3429 I Fcrgus McRec. Rich. High Sch.. 34 30 U Payne. Rich. High Sch. 3481 Sidney Sutherland. Rich. High Sch. 3432 Pombroko W. Taylor, Rich. H. Sch. 3433 WILLIAM GRANT, M. D. Chalrman. C/iAMBERS GOODEi Hy E. CI1 V.M1IBHS GOOIIIO To Miss Margaret H. Tanner, whose graceful pen ahd reafly wit cotnmand my admiratlon to an extent whlch is only oqualeel by the amazement which her credulous accsptanco of tho boast made by tho ownera of tho "Towns vllle-Boydton Pack" occasions mo, tho followlng Unli. are respectfully dedl cated by, 13. Chainbers Goode. ? * * I read with much plcnsure your ohnrm ing pioco About "Roanoke Red" that vallant beast Who bafflos tho best of elogs at will. Who to laugh iu thelr toeth, ls llvlng still; Who Is llkoly to livo for mnny a day Insplto of what Overby, Sneeel, und Brown have to say. Who plays at wlll wlth tho T. B. pack, Who when tlred of playing trots oir and comes back, To his natlve haunts upon Liberty Hlll. There to walt (anel ho ls waittng still) Vol- Sneeel, Brown, and Overby, who have got ton thelr llll, Their llll of valn ondeayor nnd chase, To como back nnd glvo him anothor race, Should they mako hold to try lt, ho has no doubt or fe-ar, That ngnln they wlll ropent tho farco of lnat year, That tholr dogs wlll llmp homo ln ahalno and dlagrace, As they dld from tho Snelllngs, G. anel HumrleUhouso, raco, Whon having been benton and badly otitrun, Thoy akulkod under houses to oscapo boot und brooni, Of whlch lrate maaters aought to glve them a tasto, For haVing lost tho fleld to a foo, in fair raco. Tho Sporting I3dltor "ls truly a crodtil ous man" Anel "fox liuntera" may woll boast all that thoy can, If your pretty account of tlm T,-B. Pack Is'accepted by him ns nn absoluto fnet. For oxnggorntlon Miss T. you nro in no wise to blanie, You havo only ropeuted what you havo GAME OF GOLF 11 GREAT SPORT Ancient Pastime Is a Most Ikalth-Giving Exercisc?Is Played in All Weathers. IS A ONE-MAN CONTEST Enthusiast May Take Things Easy or Work Hard, as His Feelings Dictate. Golf comes nearor to belng a ono mun gamo than any other pastime whlch can really be classed aa a game. Golf playing is not only a most pleasnnt sport, but lt is health-glvlng as well, provldlng lt la not lndulged in ?when the weather Is too unfavorable. Golf. like football, can be playp.d ln nny sort of weather, anel lt ls ono of tho few formB of sport ln whlch a weather clause la not allowed to flguro In ftrranging flxtures. Golflng ln a cold, drlzzltng rain can hardly be con dUclve to good health, but it ls a most dellghtful exercleo when the sun is 8hlnlng. Cold nnd heat havo com pnratlvely llttlo effect on n golf player, provldlng he ls dressed for lt, for ho can play fnat or slenv, as tho condl tlons. and hls pcrsonal feellngs' prompt. heard of thelr fame. What you have heard from Overby, and Snoail, the old elnner, As at your hospltable board they pnr. took of yotir dlnner. i Now 'galnst Hneefl and Overby, I've nothlng tu say Thoy are as "generqiis fox hunters" as you wlll meet ln a day. Like tho most of fox hunters, they aro great witli thelr tongues, And are suro to romance, when talking thelr eloga. So I. fair Miss T., submlt as n. fact, There ia no llvlng man knows what waa In the aack, The sack which In tho picturo was hold hy old Brown, For no ono wns thoro whon Brown put the snck down. Tls my prlvate oplnion a Tom Cat Jumpeul out, Thnt no dosoendunt of Roanoko Rod was about; Or lf thero wns, I am suro ho was bought, For lione of the old follows tribo wore ere caughtI Or over will he-, though liunted wlth care, Unless tho Snolllngs, G., nnd II. pack nre thore, Not only are thero, but checrod on by "Old John" Who In aplto of hla hald head, la a great beny ln town. I hnve no timo tu'talk of him, hut per? mlt mo to any Ho can rldo down a red fox nny old clay; And lt ho does not sluekeii tho nabo, llo haa for stmiotimo beon making iu loves furlous rnco, He wlll Biion capture a malden . of hoauty anel grace. "Good Httntlng to lilm". May ho havo a clenr track. Now lot us return t.e? tho T.-B. pack. I frankly admlt, that in tho T.-B. paoll, Aro 801110 vory good eloga for heihllng tho triiek. That ln lt nro others whloh run wlth n wlll, Whlch Black not at inursh, nor fultor TENNIS OFFICIALS WILL FIGHT PROFESSIONALISM -,-.-< He can walk fast or slow In follow. Ing up the ball, or he can run If lie wants to. Ho can bat the llfe out of thf llttlo whlte spliere or he can play bllllards with it. In fact, it is nll up to hlmself, provlding. of courso. thnt he ls not In a team mateh, when ntbera aro lnterested in tho score he makes. Cheerful Surroundings. The surroundings of a woll-nppolnt ed golf course are most cheerful. with long, green fields of carofully kept sod. lovel as a bllllard tablo on tho greens, but with long, undulatlng stretches and hero and there a bunkor or ruggod hazard to relleve the monotony and mako the golfer caroful in hls play. "Wore lt not for the rough places in the course golf plnying would Boon bo come monotonous, but thoso evcrlnst Iok dlfllcultios thrown ln the way, whlch are so easlly overcomo if tlio bnll 1b played rlght, and whlch hecomo such aerlous matters whon lt Is playod wrong, keep tho Intorest allve. Tho dellght of mnklng a dlfflcult shot Just as planned wlll outllve a thousnnd mlsses in the mlnd of ono who makeB it. nnd n vlctory ovor a worthy foo will oradicate from the incmory a thousand defeats. Clolf la n game that cultlvates patlence and perscrvernnce, but when plnycd alono is llkely to encourage tho uso of bnd language. The only wny to prevent thls ls to never st.irt lt. for lf In dulgea ln lt wll! grow with frlghtful rapldity. at hlll, And I tell you honest, that ayoar ago, They were the very best pack to bo found high or low. But slnco then, tho Stieillngs, G., & H. I'lun. has been formed, Snellinga, G., and Humrlckhouse. havo through the land ronmed. Yes ronmed through tho leubth and .breadth of tho land In ejucst of the houiul both speedy and grand. Tho lifisl packa of k'entucky, they havo reft of thelr might, Whlle wlth them tho fleetoat of Georgla uulto. Supported aro both, by Vlrglnhis bost htrain. I know Miss Tanner, that boastlng ls valn, But 1'U prove tho assortlon on hillock or plaln, That there. ls no fox nllvo, these dogs chaso In vnln. And now lf you doubt thoy nro tho bost In the land, Wlth our glrls nml boys, in a hunt tnko a hnnd. Wo will havo thu S. G. fe'-H's. nncl tho T.-B. pack, Anel I wlll lay u IiIk wager thnt whon wo 00mo back, You wlll frankly admlt, 1 havo statod but fact. And toiulcr of lie-nrt, you wlll bow your proud head, And woep for thn T.-B's., whose glory hiitli (led, I Tho wrltor, Miss Tiiiinor, does not own n houiul, Would not own tho best thnt o'ro rau em tho grouiul. Ho hns Hiniill timo ti> follow tho do llghts of tho ehiii,', Or to joln the good fellowa who rldo in eaiih rnro. 'Twitn tuoroty by chahco ihnt ho hnp pi'lie'd ln seo, Tho cnineat refero.l to, twlx "Siiolllng.s, li., II." nnd "T.-B." He Is a Itivcr nl' dngy, nnd him -tatoil plalll fiiota, Thnt J'isti.-o mny ho duiio, to butll tho _rcut pac-g. New Rulings Set Down Come Out Strong for Clean Amateurism. NBW YORK. Mny 4.?Recent dlscus? slon of tho amateur stnndlnjr of some of tho well-known lawn tennis player ot tho country has brought affalrs ti auch a turn that the executive commlt? tee of tho TJT. S. N. L. T. A. has pro pared a most unusual plan for thls sea? son. It is golng to rosult tn somo un plcnsantness, tennis men say. unless th< operatlona nre kept very secret. Thc scheme la that tho U. S. N. L. T. A is to send to persons who aro in cliargt of tournnments listod by it notlflca tlons that they ahould scan tholr ontry llsts earefully, and thnt certaln playert must not bo pcrmittod to pluy. ln the caso ti)at ono of theso men sends ln ar. entry lt ls to bo returned to hlm. Tliat thls ls golng to cause soma trou? blo omong lawn tennis players may ensllj bo expected. A few men ln tho gamt have been vory careless about tbcii amateur atanding, and if Investigatior Shows that they coino wlthin tho pro fesslonai rulo. they will be barrod fron amateur tournnments hereafter. Thore wlll bo no golng boblnd the roturns, fot tho oxccutlve commlttee tn tho flrst in statiCB wlll furnish tbe prolilbillon agalnst tho player. ThlH will affect mostly mon who aro booining lawn tunma guuds, whlch is practlcally tlie only form of pro fesslonnlism with which tho nssoclatiot hns to contend. Wltli thls idea in view the rules for nmateiirs of tho nssoca tlon havo been reframed aud havo beei sent out to nll cluba. Tliey aro: Nono but aiuuteurs BhaJl bo allowed tc entor for any matoh or matcbos plnyot under tho ausplecs of t)ils associatlon. An amateur is one who has nevei Vlolated any of the followlng condltlons 1. Ho hns never enterod any compe tltion open to profosslonals nor playet for a stnke, publio or admisston monej or entranee fee. 2. Ho has not competed with or agnlns a professlonal for a prlzo. 8. Ho has not played, instruoted, pur Sued or asslatecl in the pursult of ton nla or other athletic exorclse as a mean of llvolihood or for guin or any emolu ment. ?1. Hls niembershlp in nny tennis o athletic club of nny klnd was not brough about. or does not continuo bocause o any mutual underataiuling, expressed o imptted, wheroby hls continuing ns i member of nny such club would bo o any peeunlary benefit to him or tho clut 5. H canneetcd with any sporting good house, such conneotlon wiu not brough nbout nor does not continuo becauso n hls proflcleney ln tonnls or nny othe form of utltletlc exerclse, Tho executive commlttee of tbe as soelatlon slmll bo thu trtbimal to de cldo whother a player is a profoss'ons or nn amateur. No player shnll be allowed to cnte for. any mntch glven by this asspdlftlio unless ho Is an actlvo member In a clu belonguig elther dlrectly to thls niso cintlon or Indirectly tus spoclfled In th flrst piirnitraph above. Dut tho executlv commlttco Is enipowered, at thelr dls eretion, to hivlto nny forelKners to onte for any mntch given by thls aasoolatlor AUTOS ON THE INCREASE IN KNICKERBOCKER STATl Al.r.ANV, N. Y., Mny 4.?Ajjtudy o tho roglBtrntlon llsts, givon out b: tho Secretary of Stato, shows that th' iiutoiniibile businosB In Now Yorl State ls in a very flourisliliiK comlt tion. nml thut thero hns boon a niurk ed InoreiUH lu business over thut o the prevloits your. Durlng Junuiiry, Kebruury un Mnrch of tho proacuu yuur, 2.t?7 car Vuri' regletorecl, ns ngalnst 1,577 fo tho tlrpl tbree months of 1006. Thi Is nn Inercmse of 3S.(I per cont., rc-ally renuukablo gulu. 11OISIINCT CLASS Some Are tlie Real Tliing. Others Most Annoying and Ohnoxious. THE ALLEGED FUNNY MAN ^?^11?Gcniiinc Article / Few and Far Betyv liis Typc Is Most Unbearable of Coines / Few and Far Between. Tho grent majorlty of tho bnsebnll rooters nre tho bulllest follows Imagln able. But there nro Just n few typea ol rooters who aro Irksomo. Th.-y don't know It. Tlint's tho pa thotlc part. of lt. They moan well. Tholr intontlons aro tho he.it ln the world. Hut they nre aufferers from what might bo termeel tho ronftised cgo. They havo the Imaglhatlve tcmporainent. For oxnmplc, some rooters Imnglno themselves to ho humorlats, when they' really ar? not?not at all; not a llttlo , blt, wrltes Clarence h. Cullen, of Waah ington. Tho stire-enoiufh funny basebnll rootor ,' Ia a rnro blril. I->w linll towns hnve moro! thnn two or thren of them nt tho most. i And they're n Joy. They're about hnlfi the fun of the afternoon. They're epialnt,' lnventlvn, eiuipplsh nnd wholly agrceahle. | They don't overelo It. They ff&n't keepj blattlng nll Xe tlme. like mei?nphonIsta' on tho rubberneck wagons. They pi.- .; tho pat moment nnd sonel the funny one j over, convulslng nll hands wlthln aoundf of thelr volcea. They have tlie genulno aense of proportlon, and of tlme measure nient. They know t0 the clghth of ?? second Just when to ahoot ln tho right'. one. And they're nlwayg good-natured about j It. Tho honc3t-Injun funny haseball root- I er Ia never a groiioh. Ile'a there for the j outlng nnd tho fun, a game man, wllllng k to tnko hls tnedlclnn, If need be, ns enter- ', talnlng In defeat as he Is jovlal und gen- '.%. erous In vletory. Ilu's got comedy ln ' . him. He'8 there wlth tho brlsht mlnd, ', atored wlth quirka nnd epilps. Ho Isn't - obvlously trylng to mako a hlt wlth tho folks. llo's Just lettlng the atuft out of ? him thnt aeethes lu a naturally Joyous ' mldrlff. But, we repeat, tho rcally anel truly ? funny bnsebnll rooter is a rnra avla. Washington hns Its quotn, like other basebnll towns, or two or three?no more. ! Tho linltntors of tho real article, how- i evor, aro many. They nro not able to; vlow tliemselves from the proper focuatng * distance. They don't know how to stand t off and look thomaelveg over from the ' correct anglo. Othorwise, they wouldn't ' be lmltatlon funny baacball rooters. They aomohow or onothor develop tho .' exnggornted ego-lah notlon that they are \ renl cllps, cut-upa, teoses, hoydens of tho / game. And thoy nre out t0 show folka J that they're thoro wlth the stult. Candor 5 compels tho statement that, far from l belng In the leaatwlso entertalnlng, they .' are "very, very" snel peraona. They elo not conduce to tho galety of ? an afternoon at a ball park. Their ut- ;. ternnccs havo about aa much point ns a carpenter's poncll that haa been used ns a can-openor. They exclto about as much mlrth as does Uie sight of a gored horso nt a bullnght. They ellffuse an aura and aroma of glooni nll ovor tho occaslon. They surchargo the affnlr wlth an atmos phero of sorrow. They rcnelcr the con courso unensy and unhnppy- They mls take antedeluvtim gil>es for up-to-the mlnute wlttlciams, thereby croating n perspoctive of verbal monotony that Is Irksomo to tho splrit nnd weariaome unto the tlesh. And they never, never atop'tlll tlie laat mnn's out. Thoy aro making tho hlt of tho afternoon, according to their dope, and ao they don't feel llko elcprlvlng the crowd of thelr fur.nlneaa tlll U'b all over. That's tho pity of lt, Iago?that these lmltatlon funny rootors actually suppose they aro conferrlng a benoflt upon tho folk who havo given up thelr good coln at tho gate. Xobody feels like trylng to flag ' one of theae lmltatlons. It Ia ao per fectly apparent that the phony funnylat actually thlnks that ho alono ls worth twlco the price of admlsslon. that gen eroua-hearted mon, no matter how hor- ' rlbly they auffer undor tho affllctlon... haven't the gizzard to up alid toll him , that he'3 ln wrong; that ho really is a ahino and a smudgo and a nulsance aa a would-bo dlvertlng rooter. MToreovor, auch a confrontation : would perhaps fetch up a grotich and a growl, and perhaps a scrap, nnd so the lmltatlon funny rootor is rarely or never - called. Ho goos right on from year to j year, making peoplo wretched nnd mls- ; crablo and mlsnnthroplc. Let's wistfully, prayerfuliy, hope that . wo wlll not havo niany of him thla year. , It doesn't cost nnything to hope. * Rowing Clubs Busy. BALTrMORE, MD.. May ?!.?Tho local . rowing clubs nre preparlng for tho oponlng of tholr aoason. The boats ', are all in roadlnesa. and the clubhouse ? of tho Arlel Rowing Club haa been overhauled and palntod. The season . promlsoa well fropi n rowing atand- . polnt, as alL of tho big rognttas wlll ( bo hold at noarby polnta, thu8 glvlng , the locat oarsmen a chance to attend. ' Tho flrst regatta of lmportance wlll < be that of tho Amorlcan Rowing Aa- . Boelatlon. whlch wlll take plnce at * Phtlaijplphla May 25tl_ Mr. Willlamson | Is a member of tho board of stewards of thls aSaocltitlon, and for that reaso_ the Arlels will make a strenuous ef fort to havo n good crew ropreaont , them. Laat yenr they won tho New Knglnnd cup for elght-onred sholls, nnd wlll hnvo to defond tho cup thls ?^ear. Southern Handicap Trap Shoot. SHELLS Leader, Arrow, Nitro Club Repeater, New Dupont, lnfallible, Ballisrite, Dead Shot, Empire, New Schultze 30,000 Shells in Big Tent on Grounds. Watkins - Cottrell Company, 1311 East Main Street