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[Original.] Providence, who manages all things Wisely and economically, wastes no ialents on man for the management of feroman. The wisdom of this course is that man needs no such talent until After marriage, and after marriage he has a wife to manage other women for him. The economy consists in the fact that men shall marry. A single man hever appreciates the sensitiveness of the opposite sex. Woman hides her grounds, and man often stamps through ter feelings with seven league boots. An incident that occurred to me aft er my marriage taught me this, and Since then I have invariably left the Settlement of my differences with oth er women to my wife. I had passed middle life before marrying. 1 had tnet ladies, as other bachelors meet them, socially, but my club was my homo, and I was never thrown into in timate association with any woman. )But I considered myself sufficiently mild mannered and deferential to the softer sex for all ordinary social pur poses. What wounds I had inflicted I did not know, nor was I conscious of having inflicted any. The honeymoon over, my wife took, me in training, and it soon became ap parent that I needed a great deal of it. However, in about a year I sup posed 1 was thoroughly educated. One day my wife informed me that her dearest friend, whom she had not seen since we had been married, was com ing to visit her, and she was especial ly anxious that I should make a good impression. I resolved to be on my guard and put on my most affable and deferential manner. The first evening of Miss Bland’s ar rival my wife, my sister and our guest sat down to a game of whist. I was of course assigned to play with Miss Bland, i got on swimmingly. I saw that my partner know little of the game, and it gave me an opportunity to -show my wife that I could pass her friend’s mistakes without the slightest reference to them. I would probably have gone through the even ing without trespassing on my part ner’s feelings had not she made a misplay that gave me an opportunity, as I thought, to make-a brilliant strike in soothing her. I had a fine long suit, all of which I could make if I could draw my op ponents’ trumps; but, having only four trumps myself, all depended upon ray partner husbanding hers. My wife led a small spade, and I, desiring to get the lead, put oil the king. When my partner played, the trick was mine. She trumped it. I winced, but said nothing. My partner’s error gave our opponents the odd trick. “I shouldn’t have trumped your trick, should I?” said Miss Bland, red dening. My wife explained to her that to trump one’s partner’s trick was not considered always the best course, but that in this case it didn’t matter since we were playing for fun. I didn’t see the fun in playing that way, but refrained from comment. “Now I think of it,” said Miss Bland, much mortified, “somebody told me once that to trump one’s partner’s trick was the worst mistake a player can make.” My wife looked at me appealingly to say something to make my partner feel easier, and it was then I tried to soothe her. “You oni> trumped my king. There is a worse thing than that.” I said softly. “What is it?” asked Miss Bland. “To trump your partner’s ace.’" Miss Bland cast a quick glance at me, and I cast a glance at my wife, expecting to see approval in her face. I saw a frown. There was an ominous tremor on Miss Bland’s lip. and presently she arose, left tire table and went upstairs. “Now you've done it,” said my wife as she left the room to follow her friend. I walked up and down the floor curs ing myself for a fool and wondering if my wife would be able to explain matters and get me out of the scrape. I also wondered how she would man age the diplomatic task. Of course she would tell Miss Bland—what else could she tell her?—that I had intended my remark to make her blunder seem less a blunder. But had I solely so in tended it? Women are quick to see a slight, and perhaps Miss Bland might have detected a trace of sarcasm in my voice. “Thank heaven,” I mut tered, “it’s woman against woman. I’m sure the more I excused myself the worse I would make the matter.” My wife returned, but without her friend. “Well?” 1 asked eagerly. “She’s coming down presently, after she’s got rid of the appearance of tears.” “Tears?” “Of course. Do you suppose her feel ings are sheet iron?” Then, seeing the pain she was inflicting on me, she add ed, “It’s all right now.” “Did you tell her I intended”— “Nonsense! I told her nothing of your intentions.” “What did you tell her?” “Why, I told her that yon had been a bachelor all your life, had lived at clubs and all that and hadn’t been used to playing cards with women—in short, that”- “I didn’t now any better.” “Yes” “And it made her feel all right?” “Ye*.” “My love.” 1 exclaimed, folding her in au embrace, “you’re a brick. You can beat me at diplomacy every time.” Miss Bland came down, and the game proceeded. She and I became fast friends. ALEXANDER ELY. FRAUfIS IN OLD BOOKS. Aacieal and Rare Volumes Doctored, Restored and Imitated. A well known collector acquired what he took to be a book published by Aldus in the year 1489. He paid SI,OOO for it and belie\ed that it was an original Aldus, because the publish er’s press mark, a dolphin coiled round an anchor, appeared upon it. When the book was shown to an expert it proved to be beyond a shadow of doubt a modern antique—that is to say, it was simply a copy of the orig inal work printed by an ingenious book fakir. So clever was the imitation that only an expert could tell it from the original and rare book. Scores of persons during recent years have bought facsimiles of rare works under the impression that they were getting the originals. Dickens’ “Sunday Un der Three Heads” has been faked many times and sold as 6>iginal to collectors who no doubt treasure them as rarities. Genuine copies of this little book are worth a good sum, and some unscrupulous dealers, taking ad vantage of the circumstances, have had it reprinted and palm off the copies on unsuspecting bibliomaniacs for the genuine first edition. Many men make a living by “doc toring” old and rare books for un scrupulous dealers. These men are adepts in the art of book restoring and are quite able to make good any part of an imperfect copy. For instance, if a rare book has a leaf missing it is handed over to a restorer, who re prints the page with battered type, the paper upon which it is printed be ing afterward discolored with chem icals or tobacco water in order to give it the true antique hue. The first folio Shakespeare is, of course, of great value, and it is safe to say that every possible deception has been practiced in fitting up copies of this work for sale. At one time the manufacture of first folio Shakespeares was quite a trade. A first folio having several leaves missing had leaves in serted from the second folio, while in one case the entire play of “Cymbe line” was reprinted and inserted in a first folio. The “faked” pages were so cleverly done that several exports were at first unable to detect them when turning over the pages of the work in question. Book restorers, as a rule, are most ingenious artists, and they can produce an imitation of a page of a rare book which will deceive hundreds of collectors. One particu lar restorer has “doctored” more than a thousand old books during the last two years, producing pages in facsim ile and supplying colophons or deco rated capitals. There is not a thing wanting to make a book complete that this man cannot skillfully “fake.”— Brooklyn Eagle. POINTED PARAGRAPHS. Don’t bet on your popularity. About the hardest thing in this world to handle is a jealous disposition. When some people get into trouble they enlist a lot of people to help them out. If you have to keep demanding your rights all the time you are asking for something not coming to you. What a comfortable world this would he if people didn’t take such delight in making trouble for each other! A doctor has two classes of people to contend with—those who swear by him and those who swear at him. How you resent it when any one in terferes in that which you consider “your business!” And how often you interfere with the business of others! — Atchison Globe. The Poet and the Beauty. One of the finest houses in southern England is Penhurst Place, the birth place of Sir Philip Sidney. Under the trees of its park Edmund Waller paid his addresses to the haughty Lady Dorothea, whom he celebrated* as Sach arissa. But the heart of Lady Dorothea Sidney—who was the most beautiful woman of her tine—was untouched by Waller’s-amatory verses, and she re jected the poet in favor of the Earl of Sunderland. Many years afterward the countess met Waller and, reminding him sentimentally of the old days at Penhurst, asked h J m when he would again write verses about her. “When, madam,” said ihe poet rudely, “you are as young ami as handsome as yon were til on.” Properties of Chlorine. Chlorine is a greenish yellow gas will a disagreeable smell. It is solu ble in cold water, only slightly soluble in hot water. It destroys color in wet fabrics and is also a strong disinfect ant. Both of these properties are said to be due to its power of decomposing hydrogen compounds, such as water, combining with the hydrogen and liber ating oxygen, which in a nascent state oxidizes coloring matter, rendering it colorless. Asa disinfectant it oxidizes the germs of disease and is in conse quence largely used for tHfcs purpose. Strange Mistake. Old Mrs. Jones entered the drawing room unexpectedly and spoiled a very pretty tableau. “I was just whispering a secret in Cousin Jennie’s ear,” explained Char lie. . “I’m sorry,” said the old lady grave ly, “that your eyesight has become so bad that you mistake Jennie’s mouth for her ear.”— London Tit-Bits. Her Une. “Now our cook has gone away I don’t know what we shall do.” “I thought you told me your wife was such a good cook?” “Not a bit of it. I told you my wife was an expert in broils, roasts and Btews.”— Ba ltlmere Anierlcan. RIFLE SHOOTING. Develops the Arms, Lungs find Chest and Train** the Bye. It is not only the muscles of the arm which are tested by properly organ ized rifle shooting. It supplies an ex cellent exercise for the chest and lungs. One of the first tilings th-e young rifle shot has to learn is how to take a deep breath, to fill the lungs with air, and then to hold the breath while the rifle is kept absolutely steady and tlie finger is gradually tightening on the trigger. A glance at any successful rifle shot will show you a man with a deep chest and full powers of breath ing- Any form of recreation which trains the muscles of tlie arm and exercises the chest and lungs would seem likely to be beneficial to health, but if that is not enough there is the uuequaled training which rifle shooting gives to the eye and to the hand working with the eye. The writer remembers hear ing a musketry instructor boast that he had lengthened not only his own sight, but the sight of scores of boys whom lie had taught how to use their eyes in aiming at a target, by two or three hundred yards, simply by con tinued practice at long distance shoot ing. It is astonishing what results can be obtained in this way b.v placing a rifle on a rand bag raised on a tripod and making tlu* pupil aim as accurate ly as lie can at any distant object. The eye can bo trained, of course, equally well, though the sight will not neces sarily be lengthened, by aiming at ob jects c lose at hand. —London Spectator. CHILDREN’S CRIMES. Arson, Tii eft autl Train Wrecking Ora;eon, Ccn-gory Rare. Children's crimes are recognized by criminologists as a large and imp /.* taut branch of criminology. The com monest of children’s crimes are arson, stealing and train wrecking. :.nd the rarest is forgery. Arson, in the country espe. i dl.', is frequently a < rime of childhood. Coun try children set fire to haystack;;, bar -= and sheds in .>ni ;• to see tin? g v t bright tlnmes !e p skyward. Children commit nrs m, in a word, out of a love of fireworks. Children often wreck trains. Some times they do this from reading abort romantic train wreckers. More ofh a they do it out of curiosity. They j :Je obstructions on the track to see v. ! it will happen. They have no idea that anything very serious will happen. Children, of course, steal a good do 1. The best of men and w’rmen. lo?ki: back on their childhood, earn reed! many a theft. Stealing is natural. Children now and then murder. Th k motive is always jealoivw. Tims Vienna a hoy of ten. jealous of U brother and sister, who seemed to e more petted than himself, killed belli of them and then took his own life.— Philadelphia Bulletin. The Way In Turkey. In the days when M. Paul Cam bon represented the interests of tlie French republic at Constantinople Mine. Sarah Bernhardt, who had been touring in eastern Europe, was desirous of giving a dramatic representation at Yildiz kiosk. The sultan was willing, and the terms were duly arranged with tlie keeper of Ihe wardrobe, the worthy pasha who lias the control of all enter tainments at Yildiz. But the pasha held out his ifind for more backsheesh than La Belle Sarah felt Inclined to give, and so the long looked for rep resentation did not take place. Sarah Bernhardt lost by it £I,OOO and the coveted order of the Chefeknt. Her mann. the conjurer, knowing the ropes better than the French actress, squared the keeper of the wardrobe, guve his • show and got his thousand pounds.— Exchange. Remodeled. After being injured by a bull of pe culiarly savage temper John Wesson was under a doctor’s care for a con siderable time and thereby incurred a heavy bill for medical attendance. When he was almost well one of his old friends who had called upon him said he congratulated him on looking so well after such a long illness. “Looking well!” echoed John. “I should be looking well. There's been $l5O spent in repairs on me lately, and I’m not finished yet!” Tlu- Privilege of Peer.'*. There is a curious case in Fortescue’s “reports” relating to the privilege of peers, in which the bailiff who many years ago arrested a lord was forced by the court to kneel down and ask his pardon, though he alleged that he had acted by mistake, for that his lordship had a dirty shirt, a wornout suit of clothes and only sixpence in his pocket, so that he could not be lieve that he was a peer and arrested him through inadvertence.—Green Bae. He Pied Anyhow. This was the way a native physician in India filled out a death certificate: “I am of a mind that he died (or lost his life) for want of foodings or on ac count of starvation.- Maybe also for other things for comfortables, and most probably he died by drowning.” The Original “Tillage Blacksmith?” Dunchurch. near. Rugby, claims that its smithy is the original forge which inspired the famous verses on “Tlie Village Blacksmith.” It is a pictur esque old place, and the “spreading chestnut tree” still flourishes iu front of it.—London Strand. Xo \eol For a Leader. The society reporters always speak of a bride being “led to the altar,” just as though a bride couldn't find her own way there blindfolded. Philadelphia Record. THE LORD MAYOR. Hi Was a Most Formidable Personage In Days Gone By. At a great entertainment given in the fifteenth century by the ser geants-at-law at Ely place, Holborn, the lord treasurer, Baron Ruthven, refused to recognize that as the sovereign’s immediate representa tive the lord mayor was hound to take precedence of every other sub ject within the limits of the city. The bold, bad baron sat stolidly therefore at table in “the most hon orable place,” whereupon the lord mayor instantly withdrew, followed by his faithful aldermen and sher ilfs and all the other citizens. The person of the lord mayor was once held to be sacred and in violable, and none dare approach his 'presence in an impudent man ner. Men have been hanged for forcible resistance to his authority, and it is on record that one Richard Byfield in the year 1-179 was fined £SO for presuming to kneel too close to his lordship at St. Erken wald’s shrine. Most awe inspiring still, the lord mayor once command ed the services of a merry andrev and a poet laureate. Ben 7onson himself was a lord mayor’s laureate, and even his su preme talent was not thought equal to the high duty of singing the praises of the common council. Ben must have performed his duties not too graciously, for we know that he wrote a letter complaining of the corporation withdrawing him from Iheir “chandlery pension for ver juice and mustard.” T T pon which letter a champion of the city made the comment that the pension was “'not so chandlery, for it amounted to £33 Os. Bd., a sum which may at least stand comparison with what has been at any time allowed other laureates of higher degree.” It was much more than was allowed even to the king’s laureate in Ben Jon sofi’s days, for until 1630 the pen sion was but 100 marks—without a sip of Canary.—London Chronicle. Natural Varnishes. Fluid resins or oil from several different trees are extensively used in the Philippines as varnishes. One of them, called oil of supa, is a pale yellow liquid when fresh, but it becomes dark and viscous after con tact with the air. Spread in a thin layer it dries slowly and forms a hard varnish. It is also capable of being burned in a lamp. Another natural varnish is balao, also called oil of apitong. It is white when fresh, but darkens after exposure and makes a very tough varnish. Oil of panao is a third variety, in ferior to the others in its drying properties. Chemical analysis has shown that all these wood oils con sist entirely of hydrocarbons known as sesquiterpenes. As ci Clean, Live (J o~to~dae ! Newspapei di V Ot-3 J to Tha Paoole’s Inta.-ast As an Advertising Medium it gets THE BUSINESS. Give It a trial, and watch the Results. mmmmmmammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmaMmm 1 • . / * V a Washburn Printing Cos. The Washburn Times Leads Them All. And There’s no Getting Around it r JOKES OF AC. .S. Pranks on Comrades That Are Played Beiore the Audience. Practical jokes right in front of the audience are not unknown among experienced actors. Care has to be taken that the business of the scene is not interfered with, or the stage manager would speedi ly be camping on the trail of the too enterprising humorist. “A rather cruel but at the same time very amusing joke was played upon an unpopular member of a Shakespearean repertoire company with which I once toured,” said a veteran actor to the writer. “The unpopular one was playing the ghost in ‘Hamlet’ on this par ticular night, and the scene was managed in the old fashioned way — the ‘majesty of buried Denmark’ rising through a trap instead of coming on from the wings, as mod ern ghosts do. Two of the compa ny stationed themselves beneath the stage, and as soon as the victim’s head went up through the trap they began to belabor his legs well with a couple of stout canes. “The winch raising the platform on which the victim stood was turn ed very slowly in order to impart proper solemnity to the ghost’s ap pearance. Picture the efforts of the poor mummer to prevent the anguish he t suffered showing on his face, which, of course, was in full view of the audience!” Worse, far worse, was the fate of some unfortunate actors who in a popular melodrama had to drink a toast in (stage) champagne. In the ordinary way ginger ale does duty on the boards for that exhilarating wine, but on this occasion some fiend in human form had filled the bottle with paraffin oil. “We dared not leave the stage till the fall of the drop,” said one of those who took part in this unusual festivity to the writer afterward, but how we finished that act not one of us knows.” In a once popular drama the leading actress, who was also the proprietress of the “show,” dropped dead (as usual) at the end of the third act one night and lay there in full view of the audience waiting for the fall of the curtain. But the man who controlled the curtain re fused to lower it. “You’ll have to stay dead,” said he in a low voice, “unless you prom ise to pay me last month’s salary from tonight’s receipts. Move your right hand if you agree. I’ve wit nesses here.” The lady could not argue, but she waited a full minute. The mu tineer remained obdurate. Then the actress’ right hand moved ever so slightly and—the curtain fell.— London Answers. l rinaii Syrup We wan> *o impress on our ram s idiat Boscbee’s German Sv 's positively t .e only preparnt a the market Today that does £ and cure consumption. ]r, c- a $ the specifier. such as pare ta \- trmts of gum, etc, etc., whi *3 been so high v endorsed for t of coughs, colds and cmsum >7 the great m dical ong The consumptive, whether ais is in the throat or lungs, 0111 t , 1 est at nigh’, and be free from he spasm of * rv and racking couji in ’he morning. The diseased partis want, rest, heating an a sooth leg t seat men), and tie patient needs fresh air, good fond, etc, German Syrup will give tree an easy <>x pectoration in the morel.ig *wiJh speedy and permanent relief, Sinai bottles 25 cents; regular size, con taining nearly four times as much, 75 cents. At Frost & S*>.es. E. C, DeWitfc & * of bicago, at whose laboratory Kodol is p-•- pared. assure us that this rem n-k --abie cligestant and corrective tor the stomaeh conforms fully to iU provisions of the National Pure Food and Drug Law. The Kodol laboratory is a very large one, but if all the sufferers from indigestion and stomach troubles could know the virtues of Kodol it would be im possible for the manufacturers to keep up with trh demand. Kodol is sold here by M. M. Sweet FOIEYSHONEMM Cures Coldsj Prevents F'Miimonia Sold by Q. W. Frost, Wanted; by Chicago wholesale and mail order house, assistant manager frnan or woman) for this county an and adjoining territory. Sai..ry .S2O and expanses paid week ly; expense money advanced. Work pleasant; position permanent. No investment or experience required- Spare time valuaole. Write at once for full particulars and enclose self addressed envelope. SORERIN fENDEN F, 132 Lake St. Chicago, 111/ Open the bowels and get tha cold out of your system. Kennedy’s Laxative Cough Syrup opens the bowels and the same time allays the inflammation of the mucous mem branes. Contains Honey and Tl r, Drives out the cold and Mops the cough. Absolutely free from any opiats. Conforms to the National Pure Food and Drug Law- Pleas ant to take Sold by M. M: Sweet. For Tasteful Work . in Job Printing that .Gets the Business.