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f' WAS A SPORT, ALL RIGHT.
inney Made Him Prove It and It Cost Money. “Do I look like a spoort?” asked the stout German citizen of the sergeant as he entered the police station. “Well, I don’t know,” replied his friend “but, come to think of It, you do appear to have changed somewhat of late. Your clothing seems to be of a more stylish cut, and you step aloug like a 2-year-old.” “Vel, I was a spoort—a true-blue blooded von. I vas a horse spoort.” “A what?” “A horse spoort—l blay -.he ponies." “Take my advice and you will give it up or they will have your beer palace before you can say Jack Robin son.” “Dot’ vot mine vife says, but I vas too smart for dem. I vas a blunger undt I vin so much der bookmakers was all afraid of me.” “Yes, but how about that story that you were badly taken in yesterday. "1 vas bunkoed. I vasn’t beaten fair. You see, a young feller, vat they ‘ alls 'Skinney der Tout,” comes into mine blace und he says he had der biggest cinch of der season —a regular lay down. I tells him dot der name of I his horse was Beeswax, undt he vas a sticker undt couldn’t lose. "Joost den der telephone rings, undt ven I go mit it der feller on der odder end he says tell ‘Skinney der Tout’ if be comes by mine blace dot his horse lost—dot he vas beaten by an eyelid. Ven 1 go back mit der bar Skinney vas still dcre undt he says I vas a fool not Wieisiaiism is Uric ’ i Acid in the blood Unhealthy, kidneys are the -cause of the acid being theie. II the kidneys acted as they should they wovH strain the Uric Acid out of tr.c system and rheumatism wouldn’t occur. Rheumatism is a Kidney Disease ■Dodd’s Kidney Fills have made a great part of their reputation ctirmg Rheumatism. So get at the cause of those fear ful shooting pains and stiff, aching joints. There is but one Bute / way KIDNEY PILLS. All dealer-* or by mail on receipt of price. DODDS MEDICINE tO., Buffalo, N. Y. By ii morn it & return this a<l. anil 11 Rend yon thiß lilclt lilgli arm, 80-yeur i Sewing Machine by 3. D., subject to oxatni rou find i* perfectly *&:- K|ual to the hi a he at tu luto hinet* sold every to*so. It 1 1 OR iffer Price, v 1 I * u ** nacLine threw months, a will return your non , Rcrewdriveiß, bobbins, ruction book, lleanti* ad cabinet. Hhr every , bet wort I it a *** lug fOKi FTI. Kllttai* VKK larMae Addrrw co.,c ICA O MdtoriASSS STOWKLL & CO. Charlestown. Waaa. on’sEyeWatcr I piiMg) I II AYegdable Prep arc!: sn for As- W II si mikNing the Food and Ifcg u!a - || tmg the Stomachs atul Bowels of |l I Promotes Digesuon.Checrful- j;; | Rcst.Contains neither || Opium.MorpWne nor Mineral. | Not X;t!RC otic. [j Jtoaj* a/Old ZrSWITLPTrCBER Puntpkm Smd " % yj Abr.Jtnrm * J am fimAtUt SJts - ( Am st .W • \ [ fliwJW- I B ftanfud Smmr - MuJmyrmUTKnw. ) Aprrfect Remedy forConstipa 5 lion. Sour Stotnoch.Diarrhoea, If ! Worms .Convulsions,Feverish- S ness and Loss of Sleep, Tac Simile Signature of I >TEW YORK. 1 h —=—■* I EXACT COPT 0? WRA PPEB. | V.- —-W to take his tip. “‘I bet you S3O be don't vin,’ I says. ‘I go you vonce—twice, three times,’ , said Skinney. Den ve bet S2O undt | put der money tin mit O’SulllVHn, der grocery man Vel, ven der bapers come oudt dej say dot Skiiiney's horse von, sure enough, undt he gets der money.” “Well, you lost all right, didn’t you?” “Yes, I lo6e mine S2O, but I vould like ter find dot feller dot telephone mine blace.” “You would, would you? Well I guess Skinney knows his address all ri-ht. But take my advice and cut Skinney aud his associates off your visiting list.” —New York Tribune. HUSBANDS FOR THE ASKING. Almost Any Girl May Marry Who Really Wants to. “Almost any girl can marry," said an unmarried woman of 35, who lives on the West Side, to a Minneapolis Tribune representative. “Husbands are a cheap commodity. I have just purchased 168 proposals for 85 cents.” She walked over to her desk, opened a drawer, and came back with a great heap of opened letters in her hands. Then she explained in a matter-of fact way that she had put a “per sonal” advertisement in a newspaper asking for a husband and had re ceived these 153 answers. It is neces sary to know at the outset that the woman is interested In economics, and that her conduct was, therefore, entirely impersonal. She desired to secure statistics. She wanted to know how many men would marry a respectable young woman if they knew she was willing to marry. “The advertisement brought amaz ing returns,” said the woman, rapidly going through the pile of correspond ence. “It is not true that good hus bands are scarce. It is safe to r.ay that a large percentage of the me i I who have proposed to me in these letters would make excellent hus bands for an ordinary girl. “Most of them, of course, arc from men of small education- many of them are amusing; but every one of them Is beautifully and commendably in earnest. The lesson these letters have taught mo, however, is that there is no dearth of husbands in the marriage market, and that if a girl is only frank and brave enough to say that she is open to proposals she cai quickly find a suitable mate.” Here the statistical young woman drew out an assorted bunch of letters from the heap and began reading bits from them and commenting on them: “I have a good chance here to get a young lady an excellent husband. A young medical student of 22 at a Kan sas City medical college is eager to meet me and exchange photographs with me. The girl who takes this man might have to live plainly for i awhile, but it isn’t everyone who can marry a professional man. “Now here’s a farmer from Mis souri wants to marry me. He has 250 acres of land, but he writes a , wretched hand and spells indifferent | ly. He says he’s been ‘pursuing the ; phantom goddess of society’ till he’s j tired. Now he wants a ‘pleasant lady.’ Well, 250 acres of good land is abt to be sneezed at. “The man who writes on this pink paper is another farmer. He’s worth $2,000, ‘has never went into society.’ Neither chews nor drinks, but con fesses he's not pious. He signs himself, ‘yours in matrimony.’ That young man would marry on the spot. “This man here is more exacting and cautious. He requires explicit particulars about my flnances.’ But CASTQRIA For Infants and Children. The Kind You Have Always Bought Bears the I \ Signature / % tr \Jr ln AJt> Use V For Over Thirty Years win TNI CCWTAUN CO*Wf. "f* a congress:™ Cured of Catarrh of Long Standing- Ex-Congressman A. T. Goodwyn. Ex-Congressman A. T. Goodwyn, from Alabama, writes the following letter: The Peruna Medicine Cos., Columbus, Ohio: Gentlemen—* I have now used two bottles of Peruna, and am n well man to-day. I could feel the good effects of your medicine before I had used it a week, after suffering with catarrh for over a year.” Respect* fully, A. T. Goodwyn. Catarrh In Its various forms Is rapidly be coming a national curse. An undoubted remedy has been discovered by Or. Hartman. This remedy has been thoroughly tested dur ing the past forty years. Prominent men have come to know of Its virtues and are making public utterances on the subject. To save the country must save the peo ple. To save the people we must protect them from disease. The disease that Is at once the most prevalent and stubborn of cure Is catarrh. Publi- men of all parties recognize in I’eruna a national catarrh rem edy of uneijualed merit. Send to Dr. Hart man, Columbus, Ohio, for u free book on catarrh. 50c a box; 6 boxes $2.50. All dealers or by mail on receipt of price. DODDS MEDICINE CO., Buffalo, N. Y. LIBBY’S 8 Plates of Soup, 10c. A io-ct. can of Libby’s Premier SOUP makes eight plates of the best soup you ever tasted. If there was a way to make soup better, we would learn it —but there isn’t. Oxtail ftisHagatawney Turtle Mock Turtle Chicken Kidney or Giblet Tomato Ready-made Soups. One can will make you a convert. Libby , McNeill 6* Libby , Chicago Write a postal for our free book. “How to Make Good Things to Eat.” here, in contrast, is a fine impetuous, impulsive young man who. in spite of his bad spelling, is pleasant to hear from. He says: ,- I will offer my hand in wedlock to one so noble as you, for there are few like you and I feel that I could love you for your stern remark “settled life.” I have always lived such a life, but failed to find a mate.’ I think that will do very well for a first love letter. I don’t like a man who wants to know 'particulars’ by first mall. “The next letter comes from a young man who belongs to ‘one of the first families in the country’ where he lives. He wants me to marry him offhand. He says he 'has had no late love alTairs.' He ends rather weakly, though. ‘lf you see fit to play ball with a gentleman who is a college graduate we can see each other.’ I don’t like that ending. “The next seems an excellent choice A professional man from Topeka writes me a frank, plain let ter. He’s 35 and needs a wife. Will ior won't I? Next comes a bachelor Of 40, a blacksmith with property; next is a telegraph operator of 2G; next is an ‘unincumbered widower,' who will not give his age. After these follow a boy of 19, who lives on a farm w:th his parents and wants to know how much money I am worth; a widower from lowa with three boys; a professional man of 30, with a good practice in a Kansas town; a bashful young man of 24, who says he has $4,000 a year (I sus pect him); a drug clerk in a down town city drug store; a jolly dentist who weighs 200 and Implores me to answer him; a contractor and builder, who askp for a ‘short outline’ of my self. end a nan who owns an orange nun leinon g;ove ln California. "There are farmers and black smiths, clerks and hankers, printers .uni physicians, and nearly everyone of them is fatigued with ‘society,’ even the man who drives a sand wagon, ard they all want to marry a wife. Think of the chances! “A Of 51 COnfMa T)OYt H*V old, that's true, but he's steady and sober, and he has property. “Some of my correspondents pro pose curious things for me to do. One man wants me to show myself on a certain street corner with a blue rib bonbon my waist. A romantic young clerk proposes that I meet him at a corner with a bouquet of flowers in my hand. He will carry an umbrella in his left hand. His signal, when he believes he sees me, is to shift the umbrella from the left to the right hand. If I am the right person I must imitate him with the bouquet. This seems to be a young man of imagi nation. “A young man here wants to take me out bicycle riding if I will tell him where and when to call. A 26-year old writes: ‘Perhaps you are the one lam to love and wed. Who knows?. Who cun tell:’ “A conceited young railroad clerk tells me his name has been linked with many of society in Kansas City.’ He wants to call. He says: 'Am very leflned. Can promise you will not be disappointed in me.’ I don’t like him. He will be too hard to please. A bookkeeper from Mena, Ark., gets SSO a month aud believes 'two can live on SSO a month if they were so minded.’ He should find some girl who is so minded. "A young swain from Burr Oak, Kan., says: T am going to make some nice girl a good man soon.’ Another from Wilson, Kan., age 21, says he wants to correspond with me 'with a view of early marriage.’ That sounds encouraging. A country boy who at tended college in Illinois wants to meet me. “I have several letters here that contain more than a few amusing sen tences. A few of them suggest rather powerfully certain phases anil conditions in life that are very inter esting. A drug clerk who writes this letter' is the son of a country physi cian of small means. He works in the town drug store, but leads a solitary, lonesome life. He loves books and amusements, but books are scarce- in the town and amusements are few. He has no companions be cares for. He’s tired of his aimless life and wants a change. He says he would like to meet me because 1 might be able to do something to change the monotony of his way of living. “This letter, written in a fine, beautiful hand. Is from a soldier at Fort Riley. He ist24 and his pay, above his own expenses, Is S3O a month. He te nearly 6 feet tall and weighs 182 pounds; a very large man. “Another letter, written on a typewriter, is from a railroad station agent in Kansas. He is a widower of 32 with five children, the oldest 8 years. His wife died last April and he wants to marry someone who will care for his children. His salary is $75 a month and he has the privilege of hiring an operator. He wants to marry me and have me as his opera tor. v o r he argues ingenuously that in this way he could not only have his wife always with him. but he could thereby bring a larger revenue Into the family.” What Will become of China 1 None can foresee the outcome of tile quarrel between foreign powers over the division of t’liina It is Interesting to watch die going to pieces of Ibis race. Many peo ple are also going to pieces because of uya pepsia, eo isiipaiion ami stomach diseases, tio >U health can he retained if we use Hos teller's Stomach bilturs. The democrats of the Kentucky leg islature have agreed upon an amend ment to the election law which will be satisfactory. What I><> Mie Children Drlntr? Don't give them tea or coffee. Have you tried the new food drink culled (SKAIN-O? It is delicious and nourish ing, and takes the place of coffee. The more Ornin-O you give the children the more health you distribute through their systems. Grain-O is made of puce grains, ami when properly prepared tastes like the choice grades of coffee, but cunts about >4 as much. All grocers sell it. 15e and 25c. G. F. Drew, former governor of Florida, died at Jacksonville, aged 73. Two hours betore his death his wife died of apoplexy. BEST FOR TIIF, BOWKI.P. No matter what ails you. headache to a cancer, you will never get well until your bowels are put right. OASCAHETS help nature, cure you without a gripe or pain, produce easy natural movements, cost you just 10 cents to start getting your health hack. CASCARETS Candy Ca thartic, the genuine, put up iu metal boxes, e\ery tablet has C. C. C. stamped on it. Beware of imitations. News received in Washington in dicate that a complete agreement as to China is within sight. TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAT Take Laxative BromoQuinln ■ Tablets. All druggists refund the money if it fails to cure. E. \V. Grove's signature is on each box. 25c. A Filipino close to Aguinaldo writes that Filipinos must surrender if McKinley is re-elected. Carter's Ink has the Indorsement of Hie Culled States Government slid of all th<‘ leading railroads. Want any more evi dence'/ Two thousand boers will settle in northern Minnesota and North Dakota. It requires no experience to d'ye with PUTNAM FADELESS DYES. Simply boiling your goods In the dye is all that's necessary. Sold by druggists. At Brockton, Mass., Harry Elkes broke every tricycle record from two miles to an hour, with an ordinary pace. The hour record was 39 miles, 10-45 yards; previous record by Chase at Paris, 38 miles, 464 yards. Besides New Bogies of a varieties. ■ Cbicagn Sciih- Cos. have number o> Second-hand Y.'ngon or Stock Scales in perfect order, tvl. h they will sell low for Cash. Send for tifir ‘'Hargniu List.” Joe Cans of Baltimore got the deci sion over Joe Youngs of Buffalo before the Colorado Athletic association at Denver at the end of ten rounds. Lane’s Family .lediclne Move* the bowel* each day. In order to be healthy thi* i* mice--ary. Act* gently on tin- liver and kiduiiy*. Cure* tick Inmdsche. Price 25 gnu 50c. Hobson is proceeding direct to Alabama to visit bid mother and other relations. flWgpv Mpthefsmay tfeip their Daughters into Womanhood 8. jgaamtatflg P/C* fly* ."Aliihi Every mother possesses information of vital value to her young daughter. That daughter is a precious legacy, and the responsibility for her future is largely in the hands of the mother. _ The mysterious change that develops the thought less girl into the thoughtful woman should find the mother on the watch day and night. As she cares for the physical well being of her daughter, so will the woman be, and her children also. When the young girl’s thoughts become oluggish, when she experiences headaches, dizziness, faintness, and exhibits an abnormal disposition to sleep, pains in the back and lower limbs, eyes dim, desire for solitude, and a dislike for the society of other girls, when she is a mystery t< herself and friends, then the mother should go to her aid promptly. At such a time the greatest aid to nature is Lydia E. iink hain’s Vegetable Compound, it prepares the young system for the coming change, uDd is the surest reliance in this hour of trial. The following letters from Miss Good are practical proof of Mrs. Pinkham’s efficient advice to young women. Miss Good asks Mrs. Pinkham for Help, „ Jut ' 12th, I'o9. Dear Mrs. Pinkham I have been very much bothered for some time with my monthly periods being irregular I will tell you all about it, and put myself in your care, lot 1 have heard so much of you. hut-h month menstruation would bej-imt less and less, until it entirely stopped for six months, and now it has stopped again. I have become very ner vous id of a very bud color. lam a young girl and have always had to pr apl Goaf> *SOBO In the parliamentary general elec tion ns far as is known 441 members have been officially declared elected. The relative strength of the parties follows: Ministerialists, 301; liber als, 77; nationalists, 60, laborltcs, 3. Try Gtmlu-O! Try Qrntn-O: A*k your Grocer to day to tdiow you a package of GRAIN O. tlic new food drink (hut takes the place -if coffee. The children may drink il without injury a* wcil as the adult. All who try it like it. GUAIN-O lihk that rich seal brown of Mocha or Java, hut it i* made from pure grain*, and the most delicate stomach re ceive* it without dintreas. V 4 the price of coffee. 15c and 25c per package. Sold by all grocers. Thu Ventura, the third of the new steamers for Spreckels Oceanic: com pany, was launched at San Francisco. The new boats will ply between San Fransicso and Australia. If you wluli something delldoti* for break fast, try Mr*. Austin'* famous pancake flour. — -■■■ A I—- Evanston, Wyoming, already has five inches of snow, and cattlemen fear a long winter. For * quick breakfast, use Mr*. Austin's famous pancake flour. All grocers have It A band of 400 Filipinos has just made a vigorous attack on the Ameri can outposts 12 miles from Manila. lam sure I’iso’a Core for Consumption saved my life three years ago.—Mr*, Tuos. Robbins, Maple Street, Norwich, N. Y., Feb. 17, 1900. The 400 coal Creek, Tenn., miners have returned to work, the advance in wages demanded h iving been granted. Hall's Catarrh I nr, I* taken internally. Price 75 cents October disbursement of dividends In Chicago amounted to $20,000,000. Your wife will be hapny if you take home Mrs. Austin’* famon- pApc-sike fl >ur. The Nicaragua canal bill is ex pected to pasa the senffTfe at the De cember section. work very bard. I would I>e very much pleased if you would tell me what to do,"-—Dk.aio Cor. 2kth Avenue aud Yeslar Way, S uttle, Wash! The Happy Result. February 10th, 1000. “Dear Mrs. Pinkham:—l cannot praise Lydia E. Pinklinm's Vegetable Compound enough. It is just simply wonderful the change your mediqine lias made in me. I fed like another person. Mv work is now a pleasure to me, while before using your medicine it was a burden. To-day I am a healthy and happy girl. I think if more women would use your Vcgi table Compound there would 1> less suffering in the world. 1 cannot express the relief I have experienced by using Lydia K. Pink ham’s Vegetable Compound.”- Mos Pkari. Goon, Cor. 20th Avenue nnd Yeslar Way, Seattle, Wash. I?Ilf R n Owing to the far* that . me skeptical Kls IP*" Jtt ft k, s 9 people have from time to time ipirstii.ned ItZa W I‘xlKixV theitenuinriirssiifthe m-i minial letters we are constantly potdishinjr, we have deposited with the National City Hank, ul I vm), Mass.. which will be paid to any pers. n wh. .an sin.w that th<- alu.vt testimonial is nil genuine, or was published li t re .bl.iintnc the writer's special permission.— Lyuia E. Pinkham Mat m ink Cos. msm \ J UNION MAC*! r;rn oir Vtt.OO mitl Jftll.fto [ |i bnOfMiONipniTll ttlMl r **, , J'J Dilll-I V*l • SJ-IMI W. li. If. * gj) la-treat miik' r# B*.fi r. fnil. rg [ * \ / J ©‘ ut;:ul < vuliiM i / 'Y:- *. .In tlui Wi.ml, \Vh -kraut \ * f 'l f.VOO Br.tl | ~<# jfr. I *•<**• Ilian mny o nrt Ivo -jL uutaulßiturtn im the U. S. /|®V DJT J£blultlUltcd ’ Yi* / in its'.. w v/y <l<; you pay $1 to fop Khoes whon i on VAcaß buy IV. L.Douglas ,_ shoes for 83 nntl ■EVOU. which _ \\VV are Just as KRAVO9I moi* W. U Do v-Am fa bt.4 iiiElAur/nn: i*i:h t fob mi:i. THE BEST $3.50 SHOE. Tour denVr • hr. nil k**y> them jwt fiv* cm* -lraUr #*' h*it mU In *a*h h*wn. 'Flake no Tnalst on hr<rp W. UuflM ihoca with him* and prtr* aUmp*) oa h> itm. If ronr d*|*r UI hoi r*tfhm for jru, < nd dlr-ct to f*i-U rr. tnr\r,'g prir* *nd tsf. fit:* for carrig. Hitr kind of UiUrrr, tit*, and wdth, or ran toe. Our aheca vlll rrarh/mj any eh' r*. Cat/tlrtf/ue Free. W. L DOUGLAS SHOE CO., Brockton, Mast. m_or x f Wnx *o farther with the C. 8 On. ¥ TT than with fttij other reliable firm ft ,n hfln useful Articles, lucluUiui. v ■ * Furniture. U**<!h. Mattreiwee, BtoveeJl I 4 flllHewfng Machine*, Plhijo*. Or*:* I u * Bitjclps, Safes. lilac* a.U# I ,(k K Mills, LMi-",(isv iA*. -'am ■ jPI Engines, Plows. S'-r-umr*. Carr!*, cA —w Mafpwi, Hud &M/ Wire Fencing end s CjtJL-'jf *f ail r* Holies. Irrin' n. W:k-n .-r •• * • ic V IRIHFICIAL LIMBS. li L-lenl l*f entel Improved Leg*. Kra<n fT I ''>i , Mll Defernltlea Cstalofur Fra ♦*, The Dofcrtlinger Artificial iytt ffili :H Ah aclilßyll fcri „ (ms wttißt *u lk uas. la |Mj Bert <x**h I|(IP. TANARUS tiuud. Qh El !vi In limn. Bu M t>r lruttx pX Jfl* WIB PUB UNION’ -'24--41 Madtof the twit Irnrn *-t <t an-1 Americßß leather a. '| |,e *wrk inßualiip ia un< xr< (ltd. ihe atria • equßl to f4 end ..f other rnnkefl. The/ fit Ilk* cub lotn mud a shoes. They r 11! out wear tw*> pairs of other n shea at the same enrea, that l.ave no re|- hwloß. Yfdi rtf Bafrly rtfotß me’d them to Tour friend* i they He-aa YjryhodjJht wears them THE BEST $3.00 SHOE.