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THE CONSTITUTION AND THE UNION OP THE STATES THEY "MUST BE PRESERVED." i f&ii?' VOLUME XII. NUMBER 61' WILLIiin W. nOLDEIV 3 PER tUIW, IM I F K-II. 1. C, WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 9, 1846. .fit EDITOR AJVD PROPRIETOR PA TABLE 1JV ADVAJVCE. TERMS. THE NORTH CAROLINA STANDARD IS PUBLISHED WEEKLY, AT THREE DOLLARS PER ANNUM IN AD VAkCE. Those persons who remit by Mail (postage paid) Five Dollars, will be entitled to a receipt for Six Dollars or two years' subscription to the Standard one co py two years, or two copies one year. For four copies, : : : : $10 00 " ten " : : : 20 00 " twenty " : : : 86 00 The same rate for six months. tyyAnv person procuring and forwarding five subscri bers with the cash ($15.) will be entitled to the Stand ard one year free of charge. Advertisements not exceeding fourteen lines, will be inserted one time for One Dollar, and twenty-five cents for each subsequent insertion ; those of great er length, in proportion. Court Orders and Judici al Advertisements will be charged twenty-five per cent higher than the above rales. A deduction of S3 1-8 per cent, will be made to those who advertise by the year, fjtj-lf the number of insertions be not mark ed on them, they will be continued until ordered out. THE RAVEN. BY EDGAR A. P O E. Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgot ten lore, While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door. "'Tissome visitor," I muttered, " tapping at my chamber door Only this, and nothing more." Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak De cember, And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor. Eagerly I wished the morrow ; vainly I had sought to borrow From my books surcease of sorrow sorrow for the lost Lenore For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore Nameless here for evermore. And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each par pie curtain Thrilled me filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before ; So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating "'Tis some visitor entreating enterance at my chamber door Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamb er door ; That it is, and nothing more." Presently my soul grew stronger : hesitating then no longer, "Sir, " said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore ; But the fact is I was napping, and so gently too came rapping, And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door, That I scarce was sure I heard you "here I open ed wide the door ; Darkness there, and nothing more. Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing, Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before ; But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token, And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, " Lenore!" This I whispered, and an echo murmered back the word, M Lenore," Merely this, and nothing more. Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning, Soon I heatd again a tapping somewhat looder than before. "Surely, " said I, "surely that is something at my window lattice ; Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this myste ry explore ; Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore : 'Tis the wind and nothing more !" Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter. In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore; Not the least obeisance made he ; not an instant stopped or stayed he ; But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my cham ber door Perched, and sat, and nothing more. Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling, By the grave and stern decorum of the counte nance it wore, "Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure no craven, Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the Nightly shore Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore V Quoth the raven, "Nevermore." Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear dis course so plainly. Though its answer little meaning little relevancy bore, For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door ; Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door, With such name as "Nevermore." But the raven silting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour, Nothing further then he uttered not a feather then he fluttered Till I scarcely more than muttered, " Other friends have flown before." On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before." Then the bird said " Nevermore." Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken, "Doubtiess," said I, " what it utters is its only stock and store. Caught from some unhappy master, whom unmer ciful disaster Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore Till the dirge of his Hope that melancholy bur den bore Of " Never neveraaore." But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling, Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust, and door ; Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myselt to linking Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and om inous bird of yore Meant in croaking " Nevermore." Thus I aat engaged in guessing, but no syllable ex pressing To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core ; This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining . On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamplight gloated o'er. But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o'er, &he shall press, ah, nevermore ! Then methought the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer Swung by angels whose faint foot-falls tinkled on the tafted floor, M Wretch," I cried, " thy God hath lent thee by these angels he has sent thee Respite respite, and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore ! . Quarf, oh quaff this, this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore I" Quoth the raven, "Nevermore." " Prophet !" said I, " thing of evil ! prophet still, if bird or devil ! Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore, Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land en chanted On this home by Horror haunted tell me truly, I implore Is there is there balm in Gilead ? tell me tell me, I implore ! " Quoth the raven, " Nevermore." " Prophet !" said I, " thing of evil prophet still, if hird nr devil ' By that heaven that bends above us by that God m m m we botn adore Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the dis tant Aidenn. It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels w . name juenore Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore." Quoth the raven, " Nevermore." "Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend !" I shrieked, upstarting " Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore ! Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken ! Leave my loneliness unbroken ! quit the bust a- bove my door! Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door 1" Quoth the raven, " Nevermore." And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door ; And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming, And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor ; And my soul from out that shadow that lies float ing on the floor, Shall be lifted nevermore ! Presidential Humor. At the President's levee, a few evenings since, Col. Morse, who had just returned from a dinner party, paid his respects to the President in his usual open, bland, and rather Western manner, and inquired of his excellency, "the news of the day." The President, with whom Mr. Morse is a great favorite, good-naturedly remarked that "he had nothing particular, save that he had been called upon by Mr. Paken ham, who formally and diplomatically presented him an autographic letter from Her Majesty, Queen Victoria, announcing the birth of her fifth child!" The honorable Mr. Morse, with a facets grave as Father Miller, and a voice equally stentorian, J made the very significant inquiry, - wnen aoes your excellency intend to reciprocate the compli ment ?" The reply of the President was, he " dni not know, as he was fearful Mr. McKay would not consent to the necessary appropriation to defray the expenses of conveying the intelligence 1" Anecdotes of Baron Steuben. After General Arnold treacherously deserted his post at West Point, the Baron never failed to manifest bis in dignation and abhorrence of his name and charac ter; and while inspecting Col. Sheldon's regiment of light horse, the name of Arnold struck his ear. The soldier was ordered to the front he was a fine-looking fellow, his horse and equipments in excellent order. "Change your name, brother soldier, you are too respectable to bear the name of a traitor." " What name shall I take, Gener al?" "Take any other name, mine is at your service." Most cheerfully was the offer accepted, and his name was entered on the roll as Steuben. He or his children now enjoy land given to him in the lown of Steuben by the Baron. This brave soldier met him after the war. "I am well settled, General," said he, " and have a wife and son ; I have called my son after you, sir." " Thank you, my friend ; what name have you given the boy ?" " I called him Baron, what else could I call him." At the siege of Yorktown, the Baron was in the trenches at the head of his division, and re ceived the first overture of Lord Cornwallis to capitulate. At the relieving hour next morning, the Marquis de Lafayette approached at the head of his division to relieve him. The Baron re fused to quit the trenches, assigning as a reason the etiquette in Europe, that the offer to capitulate had been made during his tour of duty, and that it was a point of honor of which he would not deprive his troops, to Temain in the trenches till the capitulation was signed or hostilities recom menced. The dispute was referred to the commander-in-chief, and the Baron was permitted to remain till the British flag was struck. While on this duty, the Baron perceiving himself in dan ger from a shell thrown from the enemy, threw himself suddenly into the trench ; Gen. Wayne, in the jeopardy and hurry of the moment, fell on him ; the Baron, turning bis eyes, saw it was his Brigadier: "I always knew you were brave, General," said he, but I did not know you were so perfect in every point of duty; you cover your General's retreat in the best manner possible." Thingumfulls. A lady at the Springs, lately, being desirous of obtaining the recipe for making a certain pudding, to be met nowhere but at Con gress Hall, applied to the superintendent for the same. It was immediately furnished in the fol lowing clear and conspicuous terms : " Take a few eggs, a quantity of milk, a thingfull of currants, a thingfull of meal, a thingfull of wine, three thingsfull of flour, and sweeten to your taste." They tell a story about a yankee tailor dunning a man for the amount of his bill. The man said he was sorry, very sorry indeed, bat he could t pay it. " Well said the tailor, " I took you for a man that would be sorry; but if yon are sorrier than I am, I'll quit From the Washington Union. THE FIRST SESSION OF CONGRESS UNDER THE PRESENT ADMINISTRATION. Monday last brought to a close the labors of the first session of the twenty-ninth Congress. At such a moment at the conclusion of the first legislative chapter of the history of this administration the mind of the country naturally turns to a review of the course of our national politics during the peri od, in which the helm has been held by those who now guide the ship of state. The sentiment, we think, is universal, that hardly any previous ad ministration of our government has, during the n rst erg hteen months of its career, left a broader and a stronger mark, for good or for evil, upon the map of our national polity. Certainly no Con gress within our recollection has been summoned to the discussion of weightier or more momentous topics. Grander questions have hardly come into public debate, since our government was es tablished. And is it not the honest pride and boast of the present administration, and of the present Con gress, that almost all of these moat interesting ques tions have received a solution, in the main, satis factory to the sober and intelligent judgement of the people ? Great work has been done. And though in certain sections of our country, consid erable differences of opinion entitled of course to all toleration among those usually united in po litical sentiment, may for a time prevail, still we believe that the " sober second thought" of the whole democracy will mainly approve and ratify the doings of its representatives. Even under the pressure of the great reforms in our domestic polity, to which the present Con gress was pledged when it came together, the mind of our people turned with keener interest, if not with deeper disquietude, to the condition of our foreign relations. The present administration, when it came into Dower, found the Texas aues- on in its most critical stage. Annexation, on our .t l A I I I I i rrtt j; part, had been solemnly resolved upon. The dis puteas to the boundary had been strenuously urged to prevent that resolve, and had been urged in vain. Texas up to the Del Norte was to come into the Union. But to the end that Mexican pride and punctilio might be propitiated, negotia tion was to be bad with that power in a liberal spirit to adjust the equivalents on the boundary question to the mutual satisfaction of the parties. In this state of things, Mexico refused all adjust- mont nnrt a I I M i-m t t a- r n a r , K K mm In am t l.nn m m M a a j . a a ...i.jiunu a iirguumiuiis, auu wim mirau ui uua- tihty broke off all her dinlomalic relations with us. At the same time, France and England inter fered to thwart our deliberately chosen policy, and to prevent, by intimidation or by intrigue, the Tex ans from accepting our overtures. At this crisis of the quesiion plainly its crisis of great difficulty the present administration undertook its man agement. And that management, from its very inception down to the present moment, has bef-n one unbroken series of triumphs both of council and of arms. The manly frankness of our Tex an diplomacy put to shame and put to flight the Texas emissaries of France and of England. The Texan people came into our Union unanimously. 1 he forecast of our government in sending a min ister to Mexico made manifest to all the world, that we were acting in good conscience and in spirit of peace, and that the whole responsibility and the whole guilt of war, if war should come, lay not with us, but with her. Before we struck n uiuw on iiie utuue ueiu, we naa gainea a veraici from the civilized world. The war came, only to bring with it a series of triumnhs. reflecting a? new lustre on the American arms. And even then the right remained with us, and the world ac- knowledgrd that we were fighting in a spirit of jusiicc hh not oi oppression. we oeueve mat our war, carried on with all vigor while it lasts, will close ere long, and that, when it closes, the public opinion of Christendom will yet more fully con firm the judgment, even now not withheld, that we have made war with a desire of peace, and sole ly for the maintenance of our rights. The issue of the whole Texan question thus far, is that Tex as is ours : that our army sees its way open to the Mexican capital ; and that Mexico has brought up on herself, and has deserved, all that she endures. Upon the other great question of our foreign relations, which it has fallen to the lot of this ad ministration to conduct the Oregon quesiion we shall speak with entire frankness. It had remained an open question, incapable of settle ment, through several successive presidential terms. During all this period it had not advanced one step towards adjustment. It has been adjusted finally and forever within the first eighteen months of the present administration. Every patriot, both in England and America, must rejoice that a mode of adjustment without war has been found. Every man of candor in both countries must admit the boldness and the breadth of the policy, with which the present Executive presented and shaped the issue before the world. It recommended the notice to be given; and it was this measure which brought the question to issue, and finally effected an adjust ment of the differences between the two countries. That the policy of the Executive has been in every respect fully sustained by both houses of Congress to the best results which it was capable of achiev ing, and which, if thus sustained, it doubtlrss would have achieved, cannot be pretended. The Oregon question was one of those vast territorial issues in relation to which different sections of the great democratic party, not unnaturally, perhaps, entertained somewhat discordant views. That these views have been harmonized by the adminis tration into a result so satisfactory, upon the whole, as the existing Oregon treaty, is matter of honest and general congratulation. The present admin istration has. gained a settlement of the controver sy, in the main as favorable to us as any previous administration has asked for, and much more than Great Britain had ever offered to any preceding administration. When the excitements of the hour shall have settled into the sober judgments of history, this will be held to be a high and en during honor. As the treaty stands before us at this moment, it means nothing less than perma nent peace without dishonor between two great nations apparently, at one moment, almost at war. Making all allowances for what might perhaps have been better, this is an achievement on which any statesman may look back with some satisfac tion. All Europe feels this. The advices which come to us by the last arrival from beyond the At lantic show that, in the judgment of the conti nent, England has yielded to us. Our diplomacy never stood higher than at this moment before the world ! la this view our politics, in the conduct of our foreign relations, have risen to the height of our destiny. Witness the fact that what Mr. Monroe proclaimed as theory in 1823, and what the pre sent President repeated in 1845, has now become established and manifest truth. There is no long er room tor further European colonization on the iNorth American continent I nil . l ne programme ot democratic policy in our internal affairs, sketched out by the President in his message, and by the Secretary of the Treasu ry in his report, at the opening of the session, was comprehensive and complete. It embraced the es tablishment of a just revenue system in place of the great protection scheme of 1842 the separa tion of the finances of the government from the fluctuations of bank issues, by the establishment of a constitutional treasury the establishment of the warehousing system and the fair and just gradu ation of the prices of the public lands, according to their value and to the length of time during which they had remained in the market unsold. Of these four great measures, the three first have been fully and happily consummated by the legis lation ot Uongress. The graduation bill has, in deed, for a time, failed to become a law. But the principle upon which it is based has been fully re cognised by both houses, and early in the next ses sion of Congress, it will doubtless take its place upon the statute book. We have heretofore spared no pains to make fully known our views in reference to the new ta riff! We look upon it, and we entertain no doubt that the country will look upon it, as a relief and a reform most just and necessary. It stands strong in its sound, equitable, constitutional prin ciple. Under the name, and in the exercise of the power of a revenue tax, it lays bona fide a tax for revenue. It makes that tax as light as maybe upon the people, with a view to its revenue object. j It confines its protective agency rigorously with in that revenue limit, to which the constitution confines the protective power of Congress. These great recommendations will carry the new tariff home to the hearts of the people. They form its permanent credentials to popular favor. If expe- 111 m a a rience shall prove hereafter that this law is in me of its details susceptible of amendment, such . ... . r . amendment will doubtless be made in conformity with its essential principles. But these principles, as we believe, will not henceforth be changed in the revenue policy of the country. We have run the round of high tariffs since 1816, and have tried during the latter years of the compromise act a ta riff comparatively low. We have at last settled upon a just and moderate revenue tariff, and from this established position the public sentiment of the i country cannot, as we believe, be withdrawn. a j - - I r r a a a -j ne present taritt is tounaed upon the revenue principle. It abolishes all fictitious, deceptive minimums, and all specific duties, and is estimated alone by the ad valorem standard. In connexion with this subject, the warehouse bill, so carefully prepared and so ably and perse veringly pressed to its consummation by the sena tor from New Yoi k, must not be forgotten. The clause which restricts the period of warehousing to a single year, instead of three years, as propos ed in the original bill, may be found to deprive the law of some portion of its benefits. But this de fect may at any time be remedied by farther legis lation. And in favor of the clause as it stands, this at least may be said, that under it we enter up on the experiment of the warehousing system in a spirit of cautious moderation. In the law as it stands we recognise an effective nuxiliarv to the new tariff system, and a wise and just provision for the extension of our commerce and the mitigation of the apparent hardship of the cash system of du- ties. It is matter of congratulation that in the river II a a a a ana naroor bill, and in the bill drawn in pursu i .nii nf ih naan nnnn ih Momnl.; mnmnrM j the deliberate sense of the government has been j taken upon those perversions and excesses towards which an extended svstem of internal improve ments by the general government must always tend. It is clear, we think, to the judgment of the country that the veto of the river and harbor bill stands upon impregnable constitutional grounds, and is put forth in the spirit of our best constitu tional era. It was a case calling upon the Exec utive for the performance of high and responsible executive duty. That duty has been fearlessly and firmly performed. All these great measures of internal policy (in cluding the veto of the river and harbor bill) have assumed in their origin, or in the progress of their discussion, more or less of a partisan character. To a considerable extent, the democracy of the country is fairly responsible for them ; and the whole of that responsibility will be cheerfully ns stmrd and sustained. They all belong to the an cient theory of democratic legislation. The veto on the French claim bill, and the ve to on the river and harbor bill, affect the revenue to the large amount of from six to seven millions. In addition to these measures, Congress has a dopted some most effective arrangements for arm ing the government with men, money, munitions, and ships to caray on with great vigor the war with Mexico, which they have recognised to exist. We can only regret that the bill for a conditional appropriation of two millions of dollars, in order to facilitate the negotiation for peace, was not equally fortunate in its passage. Its principle, how ever, was sanctioned by both houses. The bill for establishing the Smithsonian Insti tute is going into operation. The Cherokee treaty, for settling the differen ces between the several tribes of the nation, has been substantially ratified. The new organiza tion of the consular system, and the measures for reorganizing the State Department, have been con sidered and discussed, but there was no time for acting upon them. We must look to the next ses sion of Congress for these improvements being carried out, with the advantage of all the infor mation which the Secretary of State will be able to communicate upon these two subjects. The past is, on the whole, one of the most ac tive and brilliant sessions which has ever taken place in Washington. We hail it with a pride and a gratitude which it is difficult to express. We con gratulate the country on the result. No one Con gress, during the first session of a new administra tion, has ever done more to redeem the pledges under which it was elected, and carry out the prin ciples to which the people are devoted. Farmer Protection. No less than 24 millions of pounds of wool, were imported during the last year under the blessed tariff of '42, at a duty of five per cent. At the same time the farmer, thus protected at the rate of five per cent, paid on bis log chains a duty of one hundred per cent, on his hoop iron 115 on his spikes 168 per cent on his salt 83 per cent, on his sugar 63 per cent on his coal 69 per cent That is the way the monopo lists take care of the farmers. Surely they will all throw up their caps and cry out for Repeal Repeal Emporium and True American. McALPlN'S TRIP TO CHARLESTON. BY THE AUTHOR OP ' COCSlN SALLY DILLIARD." In the county of Robeson in the State of N. C, there lived in times past, a man by the name of Brooks, who kept a grocery for a number of years, ana so naa acquired most of the land around bim. This was mosilv nitif hnrrena nf small value, but nevertheless Brooks was looked up to as a great land-holder and big man in the neighborhood. There was one tract, however, belonging to one Col. Lamar, who lived in Charleston, that "jammed in on him so strone" and being withal better in Quality than the aver age of his own domain, that Brooks had long wished to add it to his other broad acres. Ac cordingly he looked around him and employed, as he expressed it "the smartest mnn in ihe neighborhood." to wit one Aneus McAlvin to go to Charleston and negotiate with Col. Lunar for the purchase of this also. Being nrovided pretty well with bread, meat, and a bottle of vale- face, which were stowed away in a pair of leather JJI. 1 kla saauie oogs, ana, like all other great plenipo tentiaries, being provided with suitable instruc tions. Mac mounted a ninev-tvnrw3-tnlr Rasum) and hied him off to Charleston. The road was rather longer than Brooks had sup posed, or his agent was loss expeditious, or some bad luck had happened to him. or something was the matter that Angus did not get back until long after the day had transpired, which was fixed on for his return. Brooks in the meanwhile had got himself into a very fury of impatience. He Kept nis eyes tixed on the Charleston road he was crusty towards his customers harsh towards his wife and children, and scarcely eat or slerit for several davs and niahts. fnr he hnri set liia whole soul upon buying the Lamar land. One day however, Angus was descried slowfy and sadly wending his way up the long stretch of sandy road that made up to the grocery. Brooks went out to meet him, and, without further cere mony, he accosted him : " Well, Mac, have you got the land V The agent, in whose face was anything but sunshine, replied somewhat gruffly that "he might let a body get down from his horse before he put at him with questions of business." But Brooks was in a fever of anxiety, and re peated the question " Did you get it V " 'Shaw, now, Brooks, don't press upon a body in this uncivil way. It is a long story and I must have time." Brooks still urged, and Mac still parried the question till they got into the house. " Now, surely," thought Brooks, " he will tell me." But Mac was not quite ready. "Brooks," says he, " have you anything to drink?" " To be sure I have," said the other, and im mediately had some of bis best forthcoming. Having moistened his clay, Mac took a seat and his employer another. Mac gave a preliminary hem ! He then turned suddenly around to Brooks, looked him straight in the eyes, and slapped him on the thigh " Brooks," says he, ,l ws you ever in Charles ton ?" u Why you know I never was," replied the other. Wall lUn nnL)l 1 1, 1 ww .rnrn linn, uiiAf sajf uic acui, juu ought to go there. The greatest place upon the face of the earth 1 Theyfere got houses there on both sides of the road for five miles at a stretch, and d n the horse-track the whole way through ! Brooks, I think I met five thousand people in a minute, and not a chap would look at me. They have got houses there on wheels.- Brooks, I saw one with six horses hitched to it, and a big driver with a long whip going it like a whirlwind. I followed it down the road for a mile and a half and when it stopt 1 looked and what do you think there was? Nothing in it but one little woman sitting up in one corner. Well, Brooks, I turned back up the road, and as I was riding along I sees a fancy look'mg chap with long curly hair hanging down his back, and his boots as shiney as the face of an up-country nigger ! I called him into the middle of the road and asked him a civil question and a civil question, you know, Brooks, calls for a civil answer all over the world. I says, says I, ' Stranger, can you tell me where Col. Lamar lives?' and what do you think was his answer? 'Go to you old fool f " Well Brooks, I knocks along up and down and about, until at last I finds out where Kernal Lamar lived. I gits down and bangs away against the door. Presently the door was open ed by as pretty, fine-spoken, well dressed, a wo man, as ever you seed in your born days, Brooks. Silksl Silks thar every day, Brooks. Says I, " Mrs. Lamar, I presume," says L "I am Mrs. Lamar," says she. " Well, madam," says I, " I have come all the way from North Carolina to see Kernal Lamar to see about buying a tract of land from him that's up in our parts." " Then," she says, " Kernal Lamar is not at home he has rode out in the country, but wiTI be back shortly. Come in, sir, and wait awhile. I've no doubt the Kernal will soon be at home," says she. " And, Brooks, she had a smile upon that pur ty face of hern that reminded a body of a bright morning in spring- Well. Brooks, I hitched my horse to a brass thing on the door, and went in. When I got in I sees the floor kivered over with the nicest looking thing nicer than any patched work bed quilt you ever seed in your life, Brooks. I was trying to edge along round it, but presently I sees a big nigger come stepping Tight plum over it. Thinks I, if she can go it, I can too. So right over it I goes, and sets right down afore a picture that at first I thought was a man looking in at a window. Well, Brooks, there I sot waiting and waiting for the Kernal and at last he didn't come, but they began to bring in dinner. Thinks I to myself, here's a plaguy scrape. I made up my mind to tell her if she axed me to eat to tell her, with a perlite bow, that 1 had no occasion to eat. But, Brooks, she didn't ask me to eat she asked me if I'd be so good as to carve that turkey for her, and she did it with one of those lovely smiles that makes the cold streaks run down the small of a feller's back. ' Certainly, madam,' says I, and I walks up to the table. There was on one side of the turkey a great big knife, as big as a Bowie knife, and a fork with a trigger to it, on the other side. Well, I falls to work, and in the first effort I slashed the gravy about two yards over the whitest table cloth you ever seed in your life, Brooks. Well I I felt the hot steam begin to gather about my- eyes and cheeks. But I'm not a man to bak out for trifles, so I tries another time, and the d n thing it took a flight and lit right in Mrs. Lamar's lap f Well, you see, Brooks, then I was taken with a blindness, and the first thing I remember I was upon the harth, kicking. Well, by this time 1 began to think of navigating. So I goes out art mounts Rasum, and cuts for North Carolina f Now, Brooks, you don't blame me. Do you ?" 1 u. Lord EllenborougK s Witticisms. When Mr. Park (the faste Justice Allen Park) had beerf moved, in some case that appealed7 to (he feelings, to repeated exclamations, and bad Called Heaven to witness, and so forth, while addressing the jury, " Ptay, sir," said my lord, " pray, don't Swear in that way here in court I" The effect of this n terruption, in a grave tone, Was irresistioie, ami Mr. Park heartily joined ih lauffhinar at this nt expected practical pleasantry. When another counsel, too much addicted to self-praise, had declared, in the course of his ad dress, that such things Were enough to drive one from the profession of the law. " Don't threaten the court," said his lordship, " with such a terrible calamity." The austere lectures which he sometimes read flippant pedantry, or hopeless imbecility, are often remembered and quoted with malicious glee, for they possess a character for quaint and grave sar casm peculiar to the man. An eminent conveyancer, who prided himself on having answered "thirty thousand cases, came express from the Court of Chancery to the fCmg'f Bench to argue a case of real property. Taking for granted, rather too rashly, that common law yers are little more acquainted with the Digest of Cruise than with the laws of China, he corn raenced his erudite harangue by observing, "thtK an estate in fee simple was the highest estate known to the law of England." Stay, stay interrupted the Chief Justice, wilh consummate gravity, " let me write that down." He Wrote, and read slowly and deliberately, the note which he had taken of this A. B. C. axiom, "Aft estate in fee simple is the highest estate known' to the law of England. The Court, sir, is indebted to you for the information." There was only one person present who did not perceive the irony, and that was the learned counsel who incurred it But, though impervious to irony, it was impossi ble even for his self-love to avoid understanding1 the home thrust lunged by the judge at the con elusion of his harangue. He had exhausud the year books, and all the mysteries of real property law, in a sleepy oration which effectually cleared the Court Insensible alike to the grim renose of the bench and the yawing impatience of the ushers, wnen, at the close of some parenthetical and ap parently interminable sentences, the clock struck four, and the judges started to their feet, he ap pealed to know when it would be their pleasure to hear the remainder of his argument " Mr. P." rejoined the chief, " we are bound to hear you, and shall do so on Friday, but pleasure has long been out of the question." The hesitation of dullness and vagaries of fenct received from him no quarter. A young counsel commenced his stammering speech with the re mark, " The unfortunate client who appears by me," and then came to a full stop, beginning again, after a brief pause, with a repetition of the re mark, n My unfortunate client," he did not find 1is fluency of speech quickened by the calm rail lery of the judge, who interpost d m his softest tones, " Pray go on, so far the court is with you."' The late Sir James Mcintosh, who need to chuckle over the narration of this incident would, howev er, sigh at the remembrance of its cruelty; and cruel it undoubtedly was. . Another barrister was advancing rapidly into the regions of poetry in a grave argnrrrenf at bane, and observing, It is written in the large volume of nature,' when the judge instantly recalled bis wandering imaginations by the caustic query, w In what page, pray?" When a favorite special pleader, Mr. Gazelles, was making an excursion, somewhat unexpected by bis hearers as unwanted in biro, into a pathetic topic, " Are we not, sir, rather getting now into the high sentimental latitudes?" The barn door flight of the English special pleader was far in ferior in sublimity to that of an Irish counsellor, who thought proper to suppose " An eagle soar ing high above the mists of earth, winning its daring flight against a mid-day sun, till the con templation becomes too dazzefling for humanity, and mortal eyes gaze after it in vain ;" here the orator faltered, and after an abortive effort or two-, sat down in confusion. "The next time, sir," said the judge, " you bring nn eagle into court, I should recommend you to clip his wings." Town sends Lives of Twelve Eminent Judges. u Three Cheers " Ludicrous Scene. One Sunday, recently, during the high mass at 12, in the village of GientarifT, Ireland, three ladies of the Protestant faith were obliged to take shelter from one of those heavy summer showers which so frequently occur in the south of Ireland. The officiating priest, knowins who they were, and wishing to appear respectful to them, stooped down to his attendant, who was on his knees, and whis pered to him, " three chairs for the Protestant la dies." The clerk who was rather an ignorant man, stood op, and shouted out to the congrega tion, " three cheers for the Protestant ladies I " at which the congregation immediately stood up, and gave three hearty cheers, while the clergyman actually stood dumb-founded. How is it ? The labor of the country is to be stopped, of course. What does the Tribune think of the man who said, " Oh 1 cuss the Loky Fokys, I'm ruined t I've made a good living at diggin cellars, end now cellars ready digged are to be imported." A friend suggests that Senator Davis was proba bly put up to talking the President's Peace Bill to death, by Mr. Mangum or some of the slave holders, who wanted to shrink off killing it them selves. We rather think this is the truth of the matter, after all. Boston Chroaotype. A sharp Reply. Queen Elisabeth, in one of her royal progresses, was saluted at the gates of a little town by the ruling officer of it, mounted on a high platform, and with the following lines : O great Queen, Welcome to Shawiheene. Bet the maiden Queen, less disposed to see things coieur de Rose, than the Imperial bride groom, checked the loyal ardor of her faithful sub ject, and displayed her own rhyming readiaess by saying 1 9SQ You great fool, Get off that stool!