Bismarck daily tribune. [volume], March 07, 1909, Image 3

About Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916

Image provided by: State Historical Society of North Dakota

                
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J-y^iai Persevering Gueeser,':' 9'..||-.'
5?Btt£e^ pus-
iknowetfife English meaning of "wo-
:-?.:| saidB^b^nfcallahtly., Jwe'll
'toasuf'1"'
I ii Australian wade a second toss.
|Bobi»Mlii# a talitcaineiip.
I O^bo ordinary man would at this point
1 have, •urt'endered In despair, but not
'so'litoDpoo^-v, ^v 'V^
I•",:'•* 'Honors wel now easy/: aald be,
with ,a pleasant snilie. 'On with the
I rubber.'
Jl.
4
Thomas, tajtb ^arl of Dnndonald, at
hto death vices admiral In the English'
hayyitelis Inhte••Autobiogjraphy. of a
a of an incident cm board the
BUnd^ on which he served as midship*
inan^The jpe^ '6f'.tte'''iByn'wa8'a'.pa'r-'
rot th aTersiow of the boatswain,
whose whistle the bird learned to lmi
tate^exactly.• •'^'K./-v•':':'.'...•• -'•.-».'
tedjaeW?a'frifiyof ladles paid us a
I visit aboard. By the usual means of a
I "whip*": on the yardarmseveral had
I been hoisted on deck. The chain bad
I descended for another. Scarcely had
fjts fair freight been lifted ont of the
^|oat alongside when the parrot piped,
Td£iet«or
I .••The- 6r4er was Instantly obeyed,
Mid the unfortunate lady, Instead of
being Wmfortably seated on fleck,vwas
sottsed In the seal Luckily for her, the
men were on the watch and quickly
this unseasonable assumption of thefor
boatswain's functions might have end*
ed tragically tot the b!(i!d/»
.-:v^-.:-^u,-': .: 'j"
How Prisoners Converse.
A matt who was sent to Jail recently
for three dayf for a. small offense was
•greatly'impressed\yrtth the precau
tlonssiaken to previht the prisoners
^engaging in conversation. There seem
iejii tabelwajrders everywhere, jand no
-one f«B illbwed tO utter a word.
On the1 Sunday he was In the church
the psalm given was the."Old Htinr
dredth.' Beside him were tw.o oidjao
birds, audivinsteaiiv?ot thetdrthodox
•words beginning^'All. people. that on
earth do dwell" this, pair sang a hymn
tof their own in conversational style,
Iwiueh went. s^sMUiisI &
m^m^S^Mvw^':^f¥^'
f&M'' I' nearlyJwoke a^eoj*ey« Jawt •.-r
t-:%:\ Sing :^-^i^^'0biii^ t^n^-'lamr^'.
,^^| 8econd conv^c|t repllejif :r '•.
'•••'*i):'J •. VTou*wi:a lucky pic-can.,
•'v'.«:•: 'i*ye- gor twel-elVe- months to serve.
:.9*ried
to break into a house.
Some'dy must have gi'en me away."
By this method, they exchanged his
torlert during the singlng.-KJlasgow
^'•fe^vToO 'HMiniHatingw
4, certain small hoy of six is rabidly
assuming manly ways. Not long ago
bis "room" at school planned an enter
talnmeht. There were to be little
songs and recitations and a mysterious
grab :-lfa y^: jfai^''tt.'inax& elo
o^entcoUcenilhg the coming glories of
show*
a a
...,,J^, ,%, CtevelaiidvP^ln"-J3e^^
:.St:-#f
1 *h Englishman,
perseverance has
There is the case of
Rooeon, the great Notts (McfeetSr.
a during his AiWtt»Ua*|w!
determined one soreblng afternoon
that bis tide shouldn't do-the hard
^work of fielding 4 S 8
trallan captain spun the Cdlflfiobson
•houted, 'Woman!' Tben/feelng that
nkaotf^ia^npR^^
knowledglDg defeat Robtongwda, with
.Deiieve
••i.*3J5H
and nonchalance %L,^ ,,'..
\:-,•.::"'- ••,.
I "TheAustralian a third time flipped
I Ihe coin and, bavtog at last called the
I toss correctly, the persevering Bobson
I led in his aide to^the shady,benches."
I
v:r?'.r ..-..•'v ~t, -f^j^y
i**-£.J.
j-" "'-.' •-. "*'3An" urnoffieial
__...,---.-.<p></p>Order. ......,,
/more especially the
brwould take. .':••'* ,"
On the morning of the entertainment
his mother suggested that be should
take his litUe ^Ister, aged four, with
him. He hung bis head. :fe|
"Don't you want to take her?** his
mother asked.' .•"'•:" v^vv.- '-A^
:4'Nd^^em?t,,'-!he answered.- '0.±j'
a .*fAhd .whyinotrA^l r. *-:*&®%i#%
a u^^^v
"jC^use there auvt none of th* other
feUers has to bring their
W •'•'}-"'^'t\ 'n -r .['
i4Hm''P^'. %0M No Aeid NebdedV
^^Wiir^iWUiani ,,
»r» .wotfs de dllferei
"*@4
tjtfr
W a
||g: .V'«ave
|#w|. jBrum
%i\UiM
ih^M'ibe'':'mow
jnw^Bjchanie.
r'cunfldante of
conceited feUowj with
a self satlsfled smirk. ««She told me
you said you were, crasy to mtoriT^^ n^
'^NoV^ lntewupteu" M1^ ^Wsei' J'and
she's not even a good reporter. I didn't
say iriwms^ but •w^utt be)* *--0*ib*
Jlc,8tai»(^ in^l3p^
if a
learned another languager Husband-
Sua1
one shall studyT
A..Fulseroa Compliment. ,•-.-
•JD'urfrig Mr, Cleveland'stour of the
south shortly after bis marriage Mrs.
Cleveland and lie were driving due day
through the streets of one of the larger
.towns escorted* by two of Its citizens.
Borne one thtevf a•'"hunchI Of violets „to
Mrs. Cleveland, and Mr. Cleveland
bent forward to catch It, remarking as
he presented it, "I wonder why ho one
gives meftowers*"
One of the gentlemen present gal
lantly replied, *'We think you have won
the fairest flower to all the land."
"Ah, ycs^'V returned the president
'•but, you see, I can't keep her In wa
ter!" ..••"'
"It is not necessary since you keep
her, in such excellent spirits," was the
reply.
Here Mrs. Cleveland interposed, say
ing, 'T am afraid you are guilty of flat
tery/' wnereupon came the reply:
"No, madam. Flattery Is fulsome
compliment, and in this instance no
compliment could be either, too frank
or tod fulsome."
The charm of this response lies In
the last and fourth from the last
words, Mrs. Cleveland's maiden name
-being Frances Folsom.
A Queer Chinese Notion.
One of the beliefs which the Chinese
are slowly unlearning is that foreign
ers use the'eyes and hearts of China
men In compounding rare and costly
drugs which. ,nre valuable aWs In
magic. Medicine and magicf have fqr
ages gone hand In 'hand in China, just
as they once did in,'Europe Ignorant
Chinamen, therefore (readily believe
such tales. The use of eyes of Chinese
by foreigners In metallurgy is describ
ed in a work called "A Peathblow
to Corrupt Practices," published in
1870. According to this, .when white
Christians had charge of a funeral
they drove altsHteArelatlves and friends
from the -housed Both eyeballs were
then removed from the corpse, the ori
fices being I with plaster. This
was calied^Mllng the eyes for the
joupiey?^ By compounding
these eyes with^a .-hundred pounds of
Chinee, leaa^this veracious chronlble
continues,' eight pounds of silver could
*.„* i«»m.nr tho nor. Kbe extracted 'from I The sight or
this purpose.
Marine Rubber Chewers.,
The sailor,.taking a fine, new rubber
band from the stationery display, be
gan to chew it with vigorous enjoy,
ment.
"What are you up to there?" snarled
the druggist. •.'• \J
"Just rubber chewlh'," said the sail
or^ "It's a habit with aU/us navy fel
lers. Keeps off gun headache.'
"Of course you, a landlubber, don't
know notbhV about it But let me tell
you, mate, when a sixteen inch gun
goes off aboard ship the jar shatters
winders splits planks and brings your
lower teeth up against your, uppers
like a straight left from old John
"The result is a gun headacbi^^iuch
a headache! -But'if you ciiew rubber
you don't suffer none. I been chewtn'
it steady ever sintee Manila Bay."
"Rubber chewing—what^ a nasty
habit." said the druggist
"Bag chewin's worse," was the sail
or's reply.—New Orleans Times-Demo
crat-'
Close Quarters For Washington.
At the time, now some years ago,
when subscriptions were being solicit
ed for the erection of a statue in New
York city to President Washington a
gentleman, called to secure a contribu
tion from an old resident wno, al
though wealthy, was a little •"near."
On learning the object of the visit the
rich man exclaimed:
"Washington! Washington! Why.
Washington does not need a statue!' I
keep him enshrined hi my heart!"
In vain were the visitor's solicita
tions, and hjp was naturally indignant
at the parsimony of the millionaire.
^WeU, Mr^ he remarked quietly
as he rose to leave, "all I can say Is
that If the Father of His Country Is
In the position in which you describe
hhn he is ln ajlgbt placer'• *.:
'4MslMf -The TWe-iKinB^ .'. •ii"j'
The sovereign title of king has jgen
erally been supposed to be derived
front the old British .wo|d ~^|lng,
signifying '•wise^^lBu*
tern "Me^h" I doubtkass root of
iU^h W titles denoting kingly
powe^, including the "reach."
Ute Bcytaiah '•relk^jthe Eatlh "rex.f
the Spankh W ad the French
accor4tiir to tb«h^ .different
dIalects- louIg,?t "knnin*,^ "koomg.'*
the new
uaadj^^m. .. ,., ........
-••WeuV^oy*- the old story, 1 suppose
fool of the family sent to a
MOh hC"i«." phj^5th*/ hpy^thaW
.all' sJtered. slr^iyou day.^Lopdon
S '''*r7^*i*i*iy-'
S'iutei?eierifr*l" found'' ai^^Ktot td
:«e
Used Except In Case of Fire" placard
those college boys stole out of the cor
ridor. Manager-^Where? Clerk-Tbey'd
nailed it up «ver the a^bbx-BOstota
Rlcbnrd Wansueld once asked
1. Naukiveil to make a picture of hlin.v
The-
actor^««pb^e^:rtnpt,
as a
*^«iNi*-*
AH imltuUon vof| I ol4 Boman
1
Caesar's. 4 ^pM^^^WMM
,«Do you wailt an apaoluie' ilkefi
?r shall I idealize it a asked
kiveu.. $ ZmM?v '•:"':%m?9
"I wantv an ansolute llkenejsi^ ii
plied Mr. Mansfield stiffly, and the,
irtlst taade a sketch of bis patron.
When the completed picture—a splenij,
Jld piece of.work that looks astfIt
were, embossed—was shown to .lfr.
Uansfleld he i«as not pleased. ^tv
"It looks like a prlaeflghter." said
Mr^MansfleMt"'"^: ••-•'••',•
"That Is hot my fault* said Nankl
*ell. "Ybu1 know" that you said you
-/anted a likeness," -,r"'- '\/&%i
There was a further exchange 0
courtesies, and then' Mansfield sug
gested that the artist try again. "Hx^
suae me,^ said Nanklvell. ''Once^Ul
dome." i.
:^M
'•Well, change this picture a llttle,f5
said the iactbr."Perhaps you can fix,
It Up." :./:•"•. .r '••^t
"Not a fix," said the artist as hej
rolled up the picture and prepared 'tq
go with ia parting shot. "You
want an artist to draw your picturfjp
you want a ^Ut'hOgrapher. Good d»y.^J
.,.: *:^.VV^'--•••-•-• •:,-Ar^M
•.!*•'••' ••'.'.• ....ifiloJApelogies.'
TJncie Jerry Peebles, who had takenjljllQtor,
a seat In the, smoking car, had filled .•..,
his pipe and was about'to hunt In *ffi*ey we happen to take.
coat pocket for a match when a large
man of much equatorial diameter sat
down in the vacant seat by his side,
complacently crushing him against th
side of the car and almost obliterating.
him.
TJncie Jerry said nothing and pro-i
ceeded in his search for a match.~ It'•••,
was bard work to get his hand down:
between himself and the largje man?
but he found the pocket at last and'
took out three or four matches, all ofj
which went out as he struck them, one
after the other, except the last
"You're welcome," said the portly,
man, glancing down at him over his:'*
Bhoulder.
"W
your pocket I had my
band in?'
"It was."
'•Well," said Uncle Jerry as he light
ed his pipe, "all I've (puff) got to sayi
(puff, puff) is that you buy durnedpoor
matches."—Chicago Tribune. 3
A Praying Man.
When men begin their prayers with
^O thou omnipotent, omniscient, omnl
present, all seeing, ever living, bless
ed potentate, Lord God Jehovah!" I
should think they would take breath.
Think of a man in his family, hurried
for his breakfast,. praying to such a
strain! He has a note coming due, and.
It Is going to be paid today, and be
fciels buoyant and "he, goes down on
his knees like a cricket on the hearth
and piles up these majestically mov
ing phrases about God. Then he goes
to sayithat he Is a smner he Ismka
proud to, say that be a. einner. The*
he asks for his dally bread: has
If, and he: can always ask for it when
he has It Then he jumps up and goes
over to the city. He comes back at
night and goes through a similar
wordy form of "evening prayer,^ and
he Is called "a praying man." A pray
ing man? I might as well call myself
an ornithologist because I eat a chick
en once In awhile for'dinner.—Henry
WardBeecher.
f:
••-.-', -"Origin of the Oath. ,'
Among the different nations the
mode of administering the oath varies.
Formerly the custom was in this coun
lrysby kissing the Bible. At the pres
en time the more general manner is
by raising* the right hand.
'Among the many things for which
the world Is Indebted to the Jew is the
mode of administering the oath. It
dates back to the days of Abram. the
patriarch, who. when offered by the
king of Sodom to take the goods to
himself made answer. "I have lift up
mine hand unto the Lord, the most
high God, the possessor of heaven and
earth, that I will not take from a
thread even to a shoe 'latchet and that
I will not take anything that Is thine
lest thou shouldst say. I nave- made
Abram rich"—Oetrojt News-Tribune.
Sardeu's Opinion of Women.
I have, said Sardou, the highest opin
ion of the fair sex. I consider 'women
Euperior'to men In almost everything.
They possess the Intuitive faculty to
an extraordinary degree and may al
most always be trusted to do the rlpht
thing in the fl-rht plate. They ore full
noble Instincts.'/and. though heavily
handicapped by fate.^come well put of
every] ordenlr You bnre but to turn to
history: to realise th?i trutfi ^ofSwhat 1
ray- '^m^r^xy^iMmnt
vu^.-i:: ::i\:M: r.f. .!•"• *'.-•-/-'. #4 i??':
'^-^•!S^': At .the.' Market^
Mrs. Cir-fi^d, m|«rinjr v^ridset I
hope' your ranster rtialll'.ml^r^s have
hot^rc^ttcti ''/thatv•.ejl^'re.^itnluff'. to
(Tine] with' iriei:toii^t^t^slfcrTnCacIe
•:in4':-t&ey^ve':V!i!0fi ^thsy'Te^oi^ercd0 1
'j|o^livbarir nre«l :iit,
-Earper's Baiar .-: M^:m0Mi^
fS^'s^ ss£i- 0ve^:eyet!, :f^0&sfc$fc:-.
||^How did p-jp^^t when you asked
him for''n^itarf?*^V' ':'::^. i/..'.\..-4,
'-•'-•^i could ^pe tiHit'he W W
ibntrOl nlm^flf* l»ut" h*,"p nil
the symptoms iit!f« man %U« has
«^^rt-^i*ltraigh,T:': *$*%%
i»oat
1
Mi^0m..,
•••v
Wenwn Indispensable,
the president of the Progresstve
nan's league,*' said the spare :fe
with stern features as she grab-.
the London bus conductor by the
and made him register over
one of the fares he had just
•ted.
can't help that ma'am," replied
('conductor in a rather short tone.
lobody asked you to," she jrent on.
gathering statistics, and I spent
jence just to get on this bus to ln
iew you. The statement has been
le in some newspapers, in an
at-request
ipt to prove that our sex Is lncapa
of handling the reins of govern
t, that one woman gives more
ible in a publlc'conveyance than a
^iie men." ','.:." ''*. •••.••
•i^pvell, ma'am*'—
^erhaps I'd better put it more
.nly," she said, interrupting him.
it me ask you as a conductor, would
find your work1 easier if no women
all rode in the omnibuses?"
It might be a UtUe easier,* ma'a.m,"
•eplied, "but I don't see how In the
•id we would ever get along wlth
them."
[old on!'" she cried Joyfully. "Let
write down^every word you've
Once more, I see, we will be
to silence our enemies. Now, my
man, tell me why female passen
are indispensable."
SBecause. ma'am," returned the con
"if it wasn't for the women
\wi$- could never get rid of all the bad
Ths Fire Worshipers.
^fAzerbaljan, a province in northwest
'ern Persia, Is the home of the descend
ants of the Ghebers, the ancient Are
Vrorshipers of Persia. The whole coun
tiyalde is admirably adapted" to the
propagation of a Are worshiping
creedwblle
for earthquakes and caverns vomiting
fumes from subterranean conflagra
jilOns abound In the neighborhood of
irlbriz. One of the most remarkable
caverns in the world Is that of Secun
(ftereah, whose character resembles the
Grotto del Cane of Naples. It gives off
noxious fumes which at certain times
•t!l& certain He*th to man and beast
But the most* astonishing place in
Azerbaijan is the ruined city of Takht
•^Bulelmaun, or Solomon's temple. The
cifr stands on a hlU 150 feet high, with
S* wall of thirty feet embracing the
crumbling remains of temple and
shrine. In the midst is a "lake of
deep azure.". Although most of the
.buildings are of the Mohammedan pe
^riod, there is one striking mass which
has been Identified as the temple of
the fire worshipers.
What a Memory!
One rainy day In spring an old York _„__,
•hire fisherman returned to bis native slightest trace of an English accent
villfltre after an absence of fifteen and persons who do not know that he
S and fearfully sought the house 1s of American parentage are willing
'vSich sheltered his deserted wife. En-'to believe he is a Spaniard, merely
itering without knocking, he seated
himself near the open door, took a long
itftnd* vigorous pull at his dirty clay pipe
nodded jerkily to "t'ow,d woman.
rf^enitoV Marie," he aaid. with af
fected unconcern.
She looked up from the potatoes she
wa ipeellng and tried to utter the
scathing tirade she bad dally rehearsed
slnc#|hl8 departure, but it would not
come.«
"Ben," she said instead, once more
resuming lier work, "bring the
sensuddenly.
o'er to fire an Ah'll darn that bole
1' thyirjersey. Ah meant doln* t» day
tha went away, but summat put me
offr**$ondon Answers.
$P
Customs In Public Dining Rooms.
"Have you ever noticed persons en
ter'! restaurant—how the women inva
riably select a center table, while a
man %111 linger or glance abouttothe
hope that he may find a comfortable
seat in some corner or against the
wall f' said a proprietor of a fashion
able .Restaurant "It's almost always
so and Is always amusing. The wo
men like to show their gowns, while
the men-well, my theory of it is that
the habit Is a relic of the cave days,
when a man preferred a position
against the wall so he could fight fate
enemies to advantage." New York
Herald.
Not Caused by the Hat.
•TBbw do you like my bat?" she
oabgqi
"Why, to tell the truth," replied her
dearest friend frankly, "I don't like
the effect very well. It seems to me it
gives you a rather cross look."
0% that isn't the bat," she respond
ed cheerfully.
"Nol
•Oh, not at all. That comes entirely
froni the fact that I have Just seen my
husband and he had Just seen the
bill.^T'Chieago Post
«Jvj*,-.'.
WM' Wordsworth's Joke.
"IpBver made a jolce but once in my
1 ife#co»feased Wordsworth, and the
n'st'of the story leaves one in doubt
wbe&ef he knew a joke when he saw
it ^Meeting a peasant neighbor one
day|_he asked me, 'Ha' ye seen my
wife^iteester Wordsworth?' 'My good
fellc3£&ahfci *I didn't so much as
kno*^ that you had a wife."*
I|i Truth or Fiction?
what a difference there la," re
marked the cynic wearily, "between
courtshipi'and marriage! Courtship is
maojj up of soft Mthmgs-inarriaga
of taM-fiicts.**
Aiffl broke the world's record for
•New York Times.
^Tiui He Bargained For.
Mrs, Baahani-I am getting stouter
„]l W Benham-Yes
:frheii
I
got married I little realised that I was
:*m
.— fttsiB woman who Inspires
W tftdngs that aba will pre-
Hieks' Story.
It was li. 1847 that Hicks first made
a county name'as a witty raconteur.
In that year Sir Samuel Spry, who bad
been jneniber for Bydmln siuce the
great reform,bill, lost fails seat and In
a petulant mood took legal proceedings
against Hicks on the ground that be
had abused his official position to In
fluence voters at 0 poll. In
thea
course of the triarliicks was tailed
upon to state what he bad to say In
his defense. In the course of his state
ment he asked leave of the
courtUtoj
illustrate his position by a story,
being assented to,. be related
how a few days previously he
hadthe
been to see a lad whom he knew well
who was laid up from a fail from a
vicious donkey, which bad kicked out
all bis front teeth. The lad, said
Hicks, had taken the matter in the
most kindly way and had said to him,
"'Tlsn't the fall, Mr. Hicks, and 'tisn't
the vally of the teeth what annoys
me, but 'tis the nashty, ghastly,
wlshous disposition of the jackass/'
'Sir Samuel Spry spranc up In
theof
well of. the court in a fury and ex
claimed! "He. has called me a jack
ass!" The' court was convulsed with
laughter, and'Hicks was promptly and
fully acquitted of the trumpery charge
brought against him.—Cornhill Maga
atoelik.'.
•. Great Wars From Trifles.
G*eat wars, pregnant with bloodshed
and all the horrors accruing thereto,
have very often been the outcome of
trifling incidents which might, had they
been treated properly, have been
smoothed over and the slaughter avert-'
ed. More often was this the case in
earlier times than it is now. Every
one knows that William the Conqueror
lost his life in France through his
horse treading on a redhot cinder
he was superintending the burn
ing of Mantes, but few people know
the fact which gave rise to the cam
paign that cost William bis life
During the latter ,,part of his reign
he became abnormally stout and con
sequently the laughingstock of not
only his subjects, but his neighbors
across the water. One day his con
temporary, Philip of France, compared
him to a fillet of veal .on casters and
suggested .that he*should be.exhlbited
at a prlie monarch show./ This so en
raged William that he straightway
made war upon^nls rldlculer, and the
loss of thousands of lives was the re
sult—London Tit-Bits,
Gestures Part of Talk.
There is a man who from a ver^y
early age has lived In countries where
Spanish is the almost universal tongue.
From force of this training he speaks
Spanish perfectly. has not theabove,the
from hearing him talk. He Is so per
fectly bilingual that It shows even in
his gestures. When talking with Eng
lish speaking persons he sits quietly
and does his conversing With his mouth
alone. Only in case of making a point
most emphatically does he use a ges
ture. But the moment he drops into
Spanish his every word is accompa
nied by a movement of the hands or
arms. It is interesting to watch the
change from the English to the Span
ish side of him, because it comes so
He really can't speak Span-
ish without gesturing—New York Sun.
Some Slang Words.
A remarkable fact Is that many slang
words have a classical origin. For
example, the word "mill." a vulgarism
for a fight,-Is traceable to the Greek
word "hamllla," which means a com
bat.
"Uncle," the affectionate term for a
pawnbroker, is derived from the Latin
"uncus," a hook on which the article
pledged was hung.
To go before "the beak" Is a distinct
reference to the old Roman custom of
adorning the platform from which Jus
tice dispensed with the beaks of ships,
which platform came to be called the
rostrum, that being the Latin for a
beak or prow.
Cruel.
The rich bachelor sighed and looked
at the beautiful girl' fixedly. "Things
are at sixes and sevens with me. I
feel the great need of a woman in my
home, one who could straighten out
my tangled affairs and make life worth
living again." Her glance spoke an
Interest which approximately expecta
tion. "Yes?" she queried softly. He
blurted out, "Do you., know of any
good, ablebodied woman whom I could
get to clean house?"—Argonaut
A Sure Scheme.
Young Wife—I am determined to
learn at what hour my husband comes
home at nights. Yet do what 1 will
I cannot keep awake,.and he is always
careful not to make a particle of noise.
Is there any drug which produces
wakefulness? Old Wife—No need to
buy drugs. Sprinkle the floor with
tacks. -.
Aristocratic Fowls.
"Do animals have their social cus
toms and institutions?"
"I presume so. I have no doubt that
the geese have their descendants of
the cacklers who saved Rome."—Puck.
Mis Specialty.
Friend—That new gardener seems to
be a very hard worker. Suburbanite
—Yes, that's, his specialty.' Friend—
What? Working? Suburbanite—No,
seeming to.—Town Topics.
The world's supply of efr of a
mot COUM from a, comparatively small
part of Calabria, in the extreme south.
Of Italy, fronting on the strait of Mes-
^j^Bjip5Knwi(^?WR5^WB«^^w^^
S Tljfl lAILftWHl
«P
Perils the Modem Warship Men
\-.Wet.Have to^Fae*.: •'. .i
Ope of the dangers and one of
hardest tasks of the ineu-of-war*« ttMua
vanished out of his life when with the
supplanting of the frigate by the eteani W$
cruiser, the old time saUdriU becajse
thing of 'the. j»st Fleets in the o*t mm&fflfflm.}
days .were continually.'- exercised
making and' -shortening sail, shifttaf 3 8 S
spars and all similar maneuvers aleft,
says Captain J, W. Gainbler of
British navy in his "Links In My L*f_*
As the greatest rivalry existed aasoai
crews as to which ship •hotali
carry out the evolution first accident*
were frequent Hardly a drill 4a?
passed without men being seriously In
jured.
Once during a drill in Kiel harbor
where the rivalry in the fleet was in
creased by the eagerness of foreign
ships to compete with the EngHsh, an
unfortunate French midshipman went
head first, from the mlzzen crosstrees
the French flagship to the deck.
That numbers of accidents should
take place in sail drill was uot aston
ishing when one remembers that an
measuring perhaps seventy or eighty
feet long and weighing two or three
tons were whisked about with be
wildering speed, with nothing but
•men's hands and brains to guide
them hundreds of men crammed lute
a space of a few hundred square feet,
where nothing but the most marvelous
organization and discipline could avert
death on deck or aloft.
To the landsman, who understood
nothing of the difficulty involved hi
rapidly shifting these great masts and
yards or In,reeling and-furling thou
sands of square feet of stiff canvas—
perhaps wet or half frozen—the rapid
ity with which It was done was per
haps the chief wonder.
Ropes, running like lightning throng
blocks that were Instantly too hot front
friction to be touched, had to be
checked to within a few inches, requhv
ing the utmost coolness and presence
of mind, while the officer in com
mand had to superintend what to the
uninitiated looked like a tangled mass
of cordage, but which was In reality
no more in confusion than the threads
In a loom.
In an instant this officer might see
something going wrong. To, delay a
single second meant a terrible catas
trophe. Every one, alow and aloft
was relyirig on his judgment
igBelay! Ease away!"
The order crfme In an instant The
boatswain's mates repeated It in a
particular call which this. life and
death necessity soon taught every one
to understand, the shrill whistles rising
din of tramping feet anil
running ropes or the thunderous crash.
of the great sails in the wind Death.
bad been averted—or not If .not you
looked up and saw some unfortunate
man turning head over heels in the
air. Your heart stood stilt Would he
catch bold of something, even ironly
to break bis fait or would he come
battering c-n the deck? It was a mere
toss up. If be was killed outright It
generally stopped the drill for the
day If he was only seriously injured
the drill went on, for this Was part
of the lesson that must be learned—
that In peace, as In war, one must take
his chances.
A 8hort Verse.
An Englishman named Thomas
Thorp died, leaving his fortune to a
poor relative on condition that a head-»
stone, with the name of the said
Thomas Thorp and a verse of poetry,
be erected over the grave. Costing
so much a word to chisel letters on
the stone, the poor relative ordered
that the poetry should be brief. Upon
his refusal to approve, on account of
their length, the lines
Here lies the corp
Of Thomas Thorp
the following was finally ordered and
accepted:
Thorp's
Corpse.
The Gingerbread Tree.
There Is a species of palm, growing
to a height of from twenty-five to thir
ty feet In Egypt, Arabia, Abyssinia
and Nubia which produces its fruit
long clusters, each containing from
100 to 200. These fruits are of a
Irregular form, of a rich yellowish
brown color and are beautifully pol
ished. In upper Egypt they form part
of the food of the poorer classes of in*
habitants, the part eaten being the
fibrous, mealy husk, which tastes al
most exactly like gingerbread, whence
the popular name of gingerbread tree
In Egypt. Hyphoene thebalca is the
botanical name of this palm.
How It Struck Him.
It was 5 o'clock In the afternoon,
a crowded Brooklyn trolley car, and
above the noise arose the walls of a
leather lunged baby protesting against
everything. After two miles of this
din the mother left with her child,
when a young man in the front end
of the car thus expressed his senti
ments:
G«e whim! I'm rla* I'm free!
No wedding- bell* for me.
The result can be more easily imag
ined than described.—New York Post
Women and Ships.
"But, Mr. Malnbrace, why do they
always call a ship 'she
"Lor*, miss, you wouldn't ask
ef you'd ever tried to steer one."—I
aas City Independent
On the Safe SWe,
"In the matter of drinking,"
the philosopher with "the imprisid—
istk noee, *«be sure you ere right aaaL 4 1 1 1
.••••is *thtim:$m owe.
•.--Atchison Calebs. %$$•
Mi
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III*
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