p PAGE POUR
» THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE
xl Entered at the Postoffice, Bismarck, N. D., as Second Class
GEORGE D. MANN - - Published
* G. LOGAN PAYNE COMPANY
u Marquette Bldg. Kresge Bldg.
Ho PAYNE, BURNS AND SMITH
I NEW YORK .... Fifth Ave. Bldg.
MEMBER OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
The American Press is exclusively entitled to the use or
republication of all news dispatches credited to it or not
otherwise entitled in this paper and also the local news pub-
An lished herein.
j n All rights of republication of special dispatches herein
are also reserved.
MEMBER AUDIT BUREAU OF CIRCULATION
. „n!' SUBSCRIPTION RATES PAYABLE IN ADVANCE
mom Daily by carrier, per year $7.20
Daily by mail, per year in (in Bismarck) 7.20
Daily by mail, per year (in state outside Bismarck)... 5.00
I, r V.; Daily by mail, outside of North Dakota 6.00
!w * THE STATE’S OLDEST NEWSPAPER
(Official City, State and County Newspaper)
um OUR CUSTOMERS WILL GO BROKE
u ~ Those who do not like the idea that America needs an
fl"* “unfavorable” balance of trade are pointing out that our
:, IK i pump is not sucking the world dry of gold. The excess
had which we make on trade we return, in the expenditures of
1 ! our tourists, in the remittances of immigrants, and in the
(f freights we pay on foreign ships,
v id* * All this is quite true, and is, indeed, the only reason we
manage to survive our “favorable” balance at all. But, in
[.'**' the first place, our whole national policy is bent on stopping
, 1 ut least two of these outlets. We are taxing the people for
ti.a the deficit to build up our own merchant marine, and we are
ln> limiting immigration, so that newcomers recent enough still
Uo J to have dependents abroad to whom they remit money will
pro 'Soon be few. The “see America first” crusade is an attempt
pm- even to limit the tourists. And, in the second place these
min “invisible imports”—meaning the export of money without
visible return of goods—are not separate from, but are a
siu part of, the problem of the balance.
•ur« . The balance will not really be “favorable” until it exceeds
;“these counter-currents. If that ever happens, we will dis
cover that we have bankrupted our customers and depreci
si ,f ated our currency. That is not good business.
What is news ? Two dispatches, a brief one about the
birth of a six-legged goat and a longer one about the eclipse,
are a reminder that the most ancient news standard of all
still survives. In the daily bill-posted newspaper of ancient
Rome, the “Acta Diurna” and even in the much older annual
chronicle of the Pontiffs, two items were uniformly entered
—eclipses and the birth of monstrosities. They are news
Another record of that ancient newspaper further illus
ex, trates that the oldest things are still the newest. When the
f Roman orator Cicero was proconsul in Cilicia, his Roman
correspondent once sent him what must have been the sport
-1 ing section of the daily “Acta.” “What do you mean?”
wrote Cicero in disgust. “Here you send me things of
tim which no one would dare speak to me in Rome. There is
OU J nothing but the biographies of gladiators and the scandals
of the divorce courts.” To which his correspondent replied:
de! “I would rather send you many things in which you are not
*o i interested than overlook one which concerns you. I expect
you to omit much.” No better direction for making or
reading a newspaper could be given today.
" a . Half of our population are morons—some 50 millions of
i,ri ' them, and an additional 30 millions have intelligence no
wi . higher than a normal child of 12 years. So assert experts,
wit quoted in the Illinois Medical Journal. •
*: It is a sorry picture. And it is a false one. The standard
jflj of intelligence of the common people is several times as high
B: as some of the “experts” believe. Any one who has mixed
■ with the public knows this is true. Trouble is that intelli
-9 ; gence tests usually grade people according to ability to think
9 fast rather than soundly. Intelligence is mote than quick
9 - wits.
A million dollars was spent last year in advertising
A lot of money, but it reaped a harvest, for the average
per capita consumption of coffee was increased 80 cups a
. year at an advertising cost of less than one cent per capita.
A famous soup canner’s advertising expense runs to enor
; mous figures. But before he started to advertise his sales
cost was 20 per cent. Today it is 5 per cent. A cent’s worth
~:of advertising sells him six cans of soup.
Advertising pays both buyer and seller— the buyer in
; smaller costs, the seller in increased production.
America is getting caught up on its housing shortage.
• Building construction last year declined about 600 million
dollars over the year previous.
: This year, according to the Copper and Brass Research
Association, prospects indicate a four billion dollar building
program, smaller by more than a billion than that of last
~ Building unmistakably is slowing down somewhat. It
: signifies nothing more, however, than the passing of the
♦ war boom period and a trend toward normal in the industry.
We are quick at adopting catch phrases and “trick”
“names. Especially quick at applying them to diseases.
“Flu” was one of the best advertised epidemics in all
’ history—largely because of its name. And now we have its
“Stomach Flu” is the name applied to a now prevalent
i intestinal ailment. The same thing in a certain eastern
I locality is called “Devil’s Grippe.”
U it is as disagreeable under one name as another.
| * We are interested less in the label than in the cure.
t ? --
r National City Bank recently announced that its employes
h would be permitted to buy stock in the company at $275 a
‘ share, compared with its market value of $4lO.
h A big lumber company distributed free between two and
jT three million dollars worth of its stock among its 124 em
! i ployes. «
\f It is a dull day when the news does not bring a similar
tstofcy businesses sharing their accumulated wealth and
r earning power with employes. A big movement, reflecting a
WHAT IS NEWS?
Comments reproduced la tkls
column may or may not express
the opinion of The Tribune. Th*y
are presented here In order that
our readers may have both sides
of Important issues Which are
being discussed 'ln the press of
NATURE AM) DRUGS
(Arthur J. Cramp in the American
In the barter sale or exchange
of practically every item of mer
chandise save one, the purchaser
has a chance of learning, event
ually, whether or not he has been
swindled. Even to the unexpert,
time through its agencies, wear
and tear, makes clear whether one
has made a good or a bad -bargain
in the purchase of an automobile,
a piano or a suit of clothes.
Conversely, the man who sells
cais, or musical instruments 'or
raiment hJ« nature as an oppon
ent. If the good 3 are not up to
specifications, it is but a matter
of time before* the purchaser learns
the fact, and so acquires knowl
edge which, if he has brains, may
prevent him making the saime er
ror the next time.
But there is one commodity in
the purchase of which the public
never o'jes and never can get an
even break; products or services
that are sold for the alleged a'llevi
ation or cure of human ills.
For here the seller lias nature,
not as an opponent, but as an as
sistant. The healing power of na
ture is such, fortunately for bio
logic perpetuity, that t!he general
tendency of the disordered animal
economy is to get well.
Not always, it is true; there
come stages and conditions in
which the tendency of the ailing
body is to go on to dissolution.
But in probably 80 per cent of all
human ailment? :he afflicted tier
son gets well whether he dries
something for his im'.sposition or'
does nothing for it. Herein lies
tihe opportunity of the quack and
the nostrum vender.
There is no hope in seeking happi
ness unless you are happy in the
Good times are bad times unless
you do more than have a good time.
The only thing worse than being
in a rut is being on no road at all.
Popularity leaves very little time
for steady thinking. t
We>all do things without thinking,
and one is being bored with life.
Life's amusing. People save so
many things to see even though
there isn’t any return trip.
The importance of things close to
you are magnified, like a cinder in
Today is what we were all look
ing forward to yesterday.
It makes a man mad to be dunned
for a bill, because he knows he may
have to pay the thing.
Patience is considered a virtue
when it often is merely a case of
not knowing what to do.
You can only make interesting
friends by being interested.
Tell others everything you know
and they soon will find you don’t
know anything they don’t.
The lark is an earty riser among
birds; not proving, however, that
rising early is a lark.
Every new school is a memorial
to the future.
Half the trouble with working is
knowing you can't be loafing.
You can eat best on an empty
stomach, but you can’t think best
on an empty head.
A telephone girl who can’t cuss
has a very poor memory.
Forgetting a grouch will make it
run away from home.
(Copyright, 1925, NEA Service, Inc.)
BY OLIVE ROBERTS BARTON
“Have you heard any more wishes
lately?’’ the Fairy Queen asked the
“Yes,” said Nancy. “We heard a
horse wish that he was an auto
“The idea!” said the Fairy Queen.
“As though a horse wasn’t ever so
much nicer. Where does this horse
“He belongs to Mr. O’Neil and his
name is Frank. He’s very fast —
he’s a race horse.”
“A very dangerous person to be
an automobile," said the Fairy
Queen shaking her head : . “But come
along. We’ll hunt him up and see
what we can do.”
Two Spot, the big blue velvet but
terfly, flew off with the three of
them to the place where Frank was.
• He was out in a, field eating grass.
“What’s all this about being an
automobile?” asked the Queen. ~
“Who? Me?” whinnied Frank.
“Yea,” said Nick. “Didn’t you say
you wanted to be one? I heard you:”
“Sure,” said"the horse. “Every
horse wishes that, especially a race
horse. How do you s’pose I feel
when I'm out on the road to let
everything pass me. They go by—
zip—zip—zing, like bullets out of a
gun. It’s most mortifying.”
“No doubt,” said the Fairy Queen.
“But most dangerous, too. If you
feel that way now—you’d still feel
that way if you were changed into
tinker** dr A »H«»>
THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE
.. \ I BE <3V?EFUL'HOW "fbo
\ \ / CJaassTws fielp wsap/m
\ / ARVThing * ?ED Such as
if/ >— . V / DEBJs AGREEMENTS OR
an automobile. You would still want
to race everything on the road.”
“No-^-honest —cross my heart, I
wouldn’t,” whinnied the horse.
“Then you may have your wish,”
said the Fairy Queen, and waving
her wand a remarkable thing took
The black horse was nowhere to
be seen. Instead, a fine new black
automobile was standing where the
horse had been, right beside the
With a honk, nonk that sounded
something like a whinny it rolled out
of the gate onto the road.
Mr. O’Neil came out and seemed
“It’s funny that the man wht
brought my new automobile didn’t
tell me it was here,” he said, getting
in and starting the engine.
If he had turned his head he would
have seen an enormous blue butter
fly with three people riding him—
disappear over the tree tops.
The engine of the adtomobile made
a funny noise. It sounded like jig
gle-jiggle! jiggle-jiggle! but really
it was muttering to itself, “I’ll have
to remember —I’ll have to remembei
—no racing! I promised! Jiggle
Mr. O’Neil released the brake and
let out the clutch and away went
the new automobile like a bird over
the smooth road.
“It’s risky business to turn a race
horse into an automobile,” the Fairy
Queen was saying to the Twins.
“Let’s stop here and see what hap
(To Be Continued)
(Copyright, 1925, NEA Service, Inc.)
I In New York I
New York, Jan. 31. —The nine
o’clock subway rush
You have a superiority complex
perhaps, when you enter the hole in
the ground. It is soon smothered
stamped out, ground under heel.
This milling mob reduces all its ele
ments to its own level.
The Great Unwashed Dirty
.Kike .Greasy Greek Gar
licky Wop Foul Nigger.'.. .Smelly
Slav Fat German '
Pushed about Stepped 0n.....
Jammed in on all sides Rubbed
against by unclean clothes
Newspaper knocked from hand
Cant stoop to pick it up
Look at that guy diving at the
door already filled with bodies
Pulling, hauling, straining, cracking
ribs Well, he got in
You push me once more and I’ll
knock your teeth loose
I can’t help it They’re push
I don’t care jrho’s pushing you,
you quit pushing me, you get me???
A girl swoons. Let her out! She
tries to catch the sleeve of a man
pushing his way into the car. He
brushes her aside and she falls, strik
ing her head on the concrete plat
See that man snarling, sputtering
in impotent rage?????? What a nice
picture he is!!!!!! Looks like ftn ug
ly, wild beast.... Just see how far
man I can degenerate!!! Yet he thinks
he’s civilized... .Looks like a “hun
dred per cent American” Yes,
he is, with a name like Dean or
something like that
* • •
The lights blink incessantly
Gives a fellow a headache..........
A cattle car would be better riding..
We’re all cattle, anyway A cow
would have more sense than to get
into a car like this
Step lively!!!Come on, get out!!!>
Let ’em out first!!!!! Get back there
where yog belong!!!!!
Th *. sluggish Stream moves down
the platform. Heels are stepped on.
Packages are knocked from hands.
You cannot stand still and wait fdr
the crowd 'to pass. You must be a
part of it. It is stronger than you.
It moves involuntarily. You must
go with it until the nflsss is disgorg
ed by this great underground
Move along. Step along this way,
fenced in by ifon bore. Just like the
On Another Rampage!
LETTER FROM LESLIE PRESCOTT
TO THE LITTLE MARQUISE,
“I have another grievance against
Sally Atherton,” said Jack in. telling
me the news of the plant. I can not
understand why she is so nasty to
that poor tortured, misunderstood
“I told her she ought to try to
make her forget that unhappy epi
sode that made the whole world tuirn
igainst her. And what do you think
she said to me: ‘Shut up, you fqpl’.”
Little Marquise, I laughed. I
aughed heartily. Jack was furious;
lot only furious, but hurt. That, of
:ourse, made me angry.
“It is easy to see, Jack, that you
vere.not in Pittsburg at the time of
the trial,” I told him. “Why, the
Judge when he sentenced her hus
band to the penitentiary for life said
' hat he was sorry that he could not
-send .her up also. He told her that
he thought she was more quilty
than the man vlho had actually done
the killing. It made a great sensa
tion at the time, Jack. Lots of peo
ple thought the judge had no right
to say this, but I was glad that he
did. It labeled the woman in such a
vay that she will never be able to
ruin another man. No other man
will have the temerity to pay any
Attention to her.”
“There’s where you are mistaken,
tear,” Jack said rather sarcastically.
’Jimmy Condon is head over heels
in love with Mabel Carter, and
Chicago stockyards. Cattle, dumb,
driven cattle, lashed and beaten.
Never mind, some day they’ll put
i gory giant at the top of the run
way vutji a piaul iq his hand and
he'll erack your skull for you and
the picture will be finished.
We’ll never know the difference a
EVERETT TRUE i ;
|jl | j
X. IT I |
strange as it may seem to you and
Sally Athertop and al) the rest of
the kitty-cats, I can understand it."
I could not help, little Marquise,
of drawing myself out of Jack’s
“And what does Sally say to all
this?" I asked.
“Oh, she, of course, is perfectly
furious. At the present moment she
and Condon do not speak and they
watch each other like cats and mice.
I think that M:|. Atherton it. yak
ing a mistake for she is only mak
ing Jim think more of the poor girl
than ever by her foolishness.”^
I could not speak, little Marquise.
It seemed such a terrible thing to
compare Sally with Mabel Carter to
We quarreled. People quarrel
over such little things. What dif
ference did it make to us what all
the other people in all the rest of
the world did. But we quarreled
about it just the same.
I can’t write Vou afty more, little
Marquise, for Jack has gone back to
bis office in Pittsburg, and things
are ju6t about the way they were
before he came down. .You mag be
glad you did not marry your kingly
lover, my dear, for then you would
have learned quite thoroughly what
many women have learned to their
Marriage is a new experience and
it may be a great thrill, but it is
very different from love. Sadly,
(Copyright, 1925, NEA Service, Inc.)
hundred years from now. Why
—JAMES W. DBAN.
The Wesleyan church of England
has decided that women can be or
dained as ministers.
SATURDAY, JANUARY 31,1925
Yes, Evolution Is a Theory, But
California is the latest state to face the demand that
teaching of evolution be forbidden in the schools.
A committee of college presidents has just reported to
the state board of education approving the existing text
books and pointing out that “evolution is presented as a
theory and not as an established fact.’*
This is tactful, and, of course, quite correct. But do not
be misled by the word “theory.”
Popular speech may contrast “theory” and “fact” as
meaning “sure” and “doubtful,” but in science a theory may
be as certain as a fact.
Most of the major truths of science are theories. Gravi
tation is. So is the molecular, atomic and electronic con- *
stitution of matter and the wave transmission of light and
sound. ' ,
So are all the “laws of nature.” So are the hypotheses
on which your son constructs his radio,
Much is unknown about all of these, but nobody doubts
that they represent reality. The reality of evolution is as
A fossil is a fact. Evolution is the meaning spelled by
millions of such facts. It is as clear, to those acquainted
with the facts, as is this sentence to those familiar with
letters and words. »
Yet even the first step beyond the fossil, to the assump
tion that it is the imprint of a living creature, is already in
the realm of theory.
There have been blasphemers who pretended to honor
God by the theory that He miraculously placed the fossils to
deceive mankind. , ~ '
We prefer faith in the Finger
that traced the records in the living
RECORDS SHOW HOW
These records show life progress
ing from simple to more complex
forms, in manifestly related family
groups and lines of descent.
This is Evolution, on which scien
tists are agreed. h
It is true that there are things
about evolution on which they are
not agreed. >Some < explanations
which once seemed adequate are
Isolated sentences by scientific
writers to this effect have been torn
from their connection to misuse as
“proof texts" to show that these
scientists deny evolution.
The writer* themselves repudiate
any such interpretation. They are
no more doubtful of evolution than
they are of the equally “theoret
ical" hypothesis that the earth moves
around the sun.
MAY NOT FRIGHTEN
BUT IT WILL IMPRESS
This month's eclipse will have
been seen by more people than ever
witnessed a like spectacle before.
Since the world began to be dense
ly inhabited, no eclipse cvt\
ed so populous a region. And none
of these people’ will be afraid or su
perstitious. So much for modern
But if the eclipse does not fright
en, it should not fail to impress us.
There could be no more imposing re
minder of the littleness and the
greatness of Man.
Observers will feel their place as
FABLES ON HEALTH
AIDS TO SOUND SLEEP
Sleeplessness may be caused from
excessive fatigue, Mrs. Jones of Any
Seemingly a contradiction is this.
A tired body and aching limbs often
are inducements to sleep.
But when these are accompanied
with nervousness, often a natural re
sult of fatigue, sleep remains an
elusive thing. *
A hot bath proves beneficial in
many cases. The warm water has a
You stole my heart with your roguish smile,
But your love just lasted a little while,.
Then you carelessly wept away;
You vowed your love would lb* firth and true,
That nothing on earth could ’that here subdue,
But you left me that selfsame day.
You won a heart that was pure and good.
Fast wrapped in the fancies of |laldenhood,
Then carelessly cast It aside,
What cared you tho it should fade end pine,
What cared you that fct was heart of mine,
When you sought opt a richer fbride.
You won a sweet and a trusting life,
A heart that had known no thot of strife,
Shielded "by love and blest; • - .
You turned aside and 4eft it to die,
Each tender word was .a bitter lie,
A snare was In each caress.
Forgive you? Aye, if you would hut ask,
Forgiveness would then be a loving table,
Iwpuld know you had notforgot;
But you go.your Way with a smiling face.
And pity for me I cannot trace,
Nora conscience burdened th0t.....
SET TIME FOR SENTENCE
The time for sentencing in the
case of Mike Barth convicted of dis
posing of mortgaged property, and
the defendant in the case of the state
against Slocum for carrying conceal
ed weapons was set for Feb. 27. The
delay is occasioned because of the
fact that Judge Berry will leave Mon
day for Fessenden to hold a term of
TO STAGE “SEVEN DAYB”
Mandan Lodge No. 14 Knights of
Pythias will open the season for
home talent productions on Monday
night, February 23 when “Seven
Days," a three act comedy, will be
presented at the Palace theatre. •
V RETURN VERDICT
The jury in % the case of Norbert
Joyce vs P. S. Chaffee and his bonds,
men returned a verdict for the plain,
tiff for 91149.00 and internet.
The- ease came from Mercer county
By Chester H. Rowell
crawling animalculae on a speck of
But also they may realize that in
all the stupendous cosmic sweep, the
only greater thing is the Mind that
From the very throne of the uni
verse, man looks down on his own
insignificance. He knows himself
small because he is great. Son of the
microbe; brother of the archangel—
this is man, and Thou are mindful
of him! s
AND NOW THE
New things throw light on old.
The chestnut tree, once a common
American species, is rapidly becom
Ages earlier, the mastodon, the
camel and the horse also became
tinct in America, though two of
them survived in Eurasia.
The explanation, in the case of the
chestnut, is known to be an endemic
Did some Pleistocene plague sweep
America of its most notable mam
mals, long before the advent of man?
Evidently the chief end of man is
still the breeding of “cannon fod
der.” France proposes to increase
the bachelor tax and to raise the
allowance to parents of large fam
Why this solicitude? France has
people enough, and its population is
More inhabitants will not make
France richer or hapi*er. But Ger
many is breeding potential soldiers
faster than France, and France is
soothing effect upon the tired mus* '
cies. Also it is soothing to the
A good sedative that is soothing
and restful when one is fatigued is
made of camphor, ammc|‘.a, salt and
alcohol. * *
These ingredients should be poured
into a quart bottle, and the bottle
filled .with boiling water.
Sponge the body with the solution,
and at opce lie down.
on a-change of venue and involved
thb liability of the defendant in the
injunctional - proceedings wherein
Chaffee- and- - -others enjoined the
county commissioners from repairing
the Mercer\-county court house at
' If thou haat nothing to pay, why
should he take away iky bed from
under thee?—Prov. 22:27.
Debt is the secret foe of thrift,
as vice and idlenoas are it* open
Suitor —I hope my proposal for the
hand of your daughter hasn’t taken
you by surprise, sir.
. Father —Well, to tell tho truth, it
Imp. You've boon so jolly slow in
gutting around to it that I thought
it wasn’t coming nt all.—London An*
A Thought j
* * • *
IT WAS A BURPRIBE
xml | txt