SIDE GLANCES • • • By George Clark
WOMAN KICKED BY
HER HUSBAND SAID TO
BE GREATLY IMPROVED
—Headline In Illinois paper.
It must be great to be able to mould
people like that. —Life.
Magistrate: Do you understand
the nature of an oath. Mrs. Murphy?
Mrs. Murphy: Well, my husband
Is a golfer and my son drives a sec
ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT
A new wall paper design has bars
of music printed on it. Our idea of
luxury would be to lie on a couch and
whistle the ceiling.—Life.
Wife: That child doesri’t get his
temper from me.
Husband: No; there’s none of
"Darling, look at these lovely dia
monds in that window. The sparkle
almost hurts one’s eyes.”
“Yes, let's move on.” Passing
"Mose,” said the judge sternly.
You are found guilty of having stol
en two chickens from Mr. Harrisons
:oop. The fine will be five dollars.”
“Yassuh, judge,” said Mose. putting
110 on the Judge’s desk. ‘‘Ah’s giving
you ten bucks which will pay me up
to an’ including’ nex’ Sattiday night.”
AWAY FROM HARM
Gold: I'm the happiest man alive.
I’ve got the finest wife in the country.
Cold: Yes, that does make a man
happy, having his wife in the coun
Admiral Byrd’s lectures on An
tarctic life are called “astonishing.”
We are told one audience was so quiet
you could hear a gumdrop.—Life.
Daily Cross-word Puzzle
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TRIBUNE’S PAGE OF COMIC STRIPS AND FEATURES
"Gee, I’d like to meet some fellas like that.”
NOW YOU TELL ONE
"What's the worst thing a married
man can do?"
“Well, to be frank—”
"I guess you’re right.”—Answers.
Private Secretary (on Boss' lap): I
feel sorry for the poor bookkeeper
you fired today. He has a wife and
Boss: Give me a kiss and forget it,
kid. There’s no place for sentiment
"Jeames,” called the rich young
man-about-town from his bed, “is
the jolly old bath ready yet?”
The worried face of the valet ap
peared round the doorway.
“All but the hot water, sir, it’s all
ready.” he replied.
“What’s the matter with the hot
water, Jeames?” asked the young
“It’s cold, sir,” Jeames explained.
PLENTY OF MATERIAL
“Hello, Jack! What are you do
“I’ve built a shed out of my own
“Out of your own head?”
“Yes, and there's plenty of wood
left for a dog kennel.”—Tit-Bits.
Lady: Please, do you know how to
stop windmills? My husband was
sitting on it and a wind sprang up.
Gear: Let's go on an endurance
Me: All right. You fly the plane
and I’ll tear the sheets off the calen
And It Grew
THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE. TUESDAY, DECEMBER 2, 1930
THE GUMPS- HE HANDED THEM A LAUGH
GASOLINE ALLEY— TOO LATE
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