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The Central Hotel! riRST CLASS YUK Thin hotio Imh beon iwniiHtruolfMl m ry m.l lioiiiriirtnbl" r.oiiin. Mr. 33. F. Oontrtl l'nrt Main Strcot, CREAM -:- :n: HERE TO STAY AND TO PLEASE, JSrentl, IMc, Cnkcfl, CtinfceUfnp, nml everything olfcu found in it It rn rilnou Itnlitrt ItVnfi 1ri 1 1 Vitftr fit nit hakiii .f tUn llirtlilll UIHU'IM A I l oiirH lor iiistom, GEORGE :-i FRASHER :-: I r op. 0HA8.DURiE Manufacturers' Agent for Heavy JUncstmg iiiaohlnory, tnicliuit, mitoiimtio and plain onglncH, all kiuiUui' loilern, c-tton ginHiiuil pioj-w, Htidtimi liiH, elu. ator,, lino hIijiIIh, ptiHoy, bultlngM nml ongiim lltilug, bind ci8, Molfnk-, dropi.eta, moivora, IhrtHlu-w. Imy iirotsoa loJiie, (,il.-, etc., etc. Ardmoro ARDMORE South Caddo Street. For b(Mt turniutd, filnglo or dnubl. bulcti, stirrlo and Imrks. Hxpurlonccd (intern worjett nun iiiiiicn soki on chiiiiiiIhiiou. South of Whlttinsrton's Brick, Oodclo St. Kirst elms in ovory pnrtlrtilnr.. Newly renovated nml furnished llironirliont. Tenii. l.nn per tiny; 9100 per week wliti lodytmr fit.M' ptir wook tiny board- V. fj. lClLfiOltK, Prop! City If you wnut tin- fluent turnout to ho had In nlmnn don't lorot tliu City Stnhlo. New buggies i-trrbige. nml tli.o homes, (.'oiiim.-rebil Undo osprclally rollelteil. Kxporleneod drivers iiniunlnti'il wltli (ho country furnbhfMl whmi dp blrnl. Morses bounloil by tho ilnv or (Im nmiiih. Itsaic.-Mro nml passengers iniusferrud to nml from any purl of ibu oltv. WEW Tlhl SHOP. 'l Tiiliui, Flues, Job Work mid Hopnlriri,'. Next door to Catlioy & Smith', Main Stnvt. CHAS. A. POWERS, Proprietor. White 1 II. BRIDGEMAN 4 I liavo lenauil tlio nbovo lions". A part of ymir piitroiinjio bo United Tublo not eurpaa oil in tho Jnilian Torntory. G. W. WILHELM, Proprietor. L h KI ' ne fctar urocery, headquarters for every hing good to eat, at Ml rices, w in meet a nd see. B. F. Second door east of postoffice, Ardmore. Advertise in the Daily Ardmoreite. S7abscribe for the Daily Ardmoreite. AT I.)U lMSR 13 AY nml now Iihh twi-nly-flvu ncnt, Holler, Prop. Aiilmoro, I. T. BAKERY I l-IJ l If tilt I l (1 W IIIU j I V Livery . stable Via Front Dim store Currios a Full Lino ot Supplies. SNIDER," Proprietor. :: HOUSE. ,z : I ' H S the lowest possible ... comnfit. t. nn Tvw r.-. r ... ' Jf UXU T MAXEY. "Cnnnot lo Improved!" So MRS. F. E. BAKER, of Calvoston, Tox., bays or Ayer's Hair Vigor I i "Hrtvlng u.iod l CT&fl J"'" "air Vigor f irj rWK iimt it k..pi mv o L?v MV-"alp derm and 2 ls'irT,':it tlicliilrlnttiotipst oi . c mi ill ( In ii. Mr v utoa to tlio mo of Ayet'n llnlr Vigor. It o tlilckcm tlio prow tli ul tlio linlr nnd o reitorM cniy linlr to Iti original color. I cannot sen liow thin I'rrimrutlon coulil o Ito ImiiroviMl." Mm. 1'. K. D.Mtr.n, Gal- o veton, Tmm, o Ayer's Mair Vigor S; llll'.l'Altl:!) 11V o Ml. J. C. AVER & CO., LOWELL, MASS. gj oooocoooocoonooonQoonooi NOHWInMHtMUInmilHIHIIINHIMHIUtllilMlllliHIlA TIME TABLE. Qulf, Colnrmlo mnl Snntn To It'y. HDtri'lt IIOIIMl. llMHnilllJ ChlMgO l'.xprrM t.lDn. III. ClKlJiirtiv nml U'ninmClty KtjirMt 2.17 p. m. NOirrtt IIOI7NU. Ilnltpilnn nml Uilrngo Knirma Ij.im n. nr L'lrliHrii" ami Kiinsiit City Kxiirc-sn i.lT a. ni I. It. ilASox, Ticket Ajj't. W. S. Khii.san, ttuu I'no. Ag't. Arrival nml Kjirrtnro O. S. Mnlls. tJoittli boiu.'.l iiinil clones hx! p. in. Mouth bonmi mull Hrrlvos (5:13 p. in. North bound mull cloces 10 a. in North bifliml mall arrive 1(':V0 n. in. Niht mail aro uhiBi-d at H.:!0 p. m. Money order ilnpfirtniout 1h open it 8 a. in. ami eloieii at h i. in. O'llen hoiti-h frtm 8 a. m to C p. in. .SundajH from 'i:'M) p.m., to :J:tiU p. in. Ioii.n s. IIamiii ii, 1'. M. Si;mm r.iiH IIaiidv, Uupiity. ciiuKcir ninECToitY. I'linKTMN Cm h:ii TreMlry fllrwt. Ber- it. rvrry l.rt' ilav m II Own a. r.i nn J 8. I.I ii in Min.u H.Miuni. an i in. I'mji SI pi tin I'vprt WMlnwIay . S I., n in. Ulioli liriii Mr,' rrrr Krlilny i'Vmi'DX 8 1.5 in Ijtitlps' AM 'oeliily nv. ry Tiiih. y nlirrnooiiHl 1IH Bhlnnh. l tn. .Vfll i ii.l A.kAi.il Hiiv-tliw I rv,iv I uoH.lny nlKlit lit I'l'ioe nniioaniivl (.'tii i.nri'o uav. iTjiivm intiriin unit lrl . I In hho.1 inonlli. All nr crnlliilly limUit nil m'ivlcfcs. 1 II Miifton. Siiiiti'int0uJMiii un.l.ijMclioult Voliifv .liiliiimiii. 1'nator. Kihst 1'Arrnr CiirHtin llmnilH-nv Sliiw!. irlff 'V. ry u.liiy at II Kin. in. him! h 0.1 p. ni I'rarrr nirflliiit lVwlnralay cvrLlnr trii'rlurk Kniuliiy Mibool lit IDii m. Ciioli l.motlni. Hd:iv i vnuliiifa nt H n'olek. i: "inhlii 'llria, Pixt.ir. U. II. Iliiitfs. OUrk. V nil, Mi;'iiiili'itiliiit. CIVIC! NIIUIIC'I'IKS. .MyrtlH IjO.11 No. 7. iv. nt nini'lK iv.rv t'hnro'Uy nlclil nt 7i. Hull oiiiioalM court iiniikf. Uirt lrovt. Malting KiUirlita cur- Daily IhtII.-I. . .vin:t.v.r, u. u. J. T. lloirxTii. K. It. .1 a. Anlraorc No. 31. A. P. unit a. m.. iiiivu In ii.. ir hall un.'on'li t'a.Mu ntv.-.-l. tiiv iimt KainiiU) nlKhtlu i-acli iuraili,Oi or bv. MIIT Mlfl IUJ1 fl'UUll. .... " "' r",T. W.in'iliful Miuur. A. II.8ii.mi an, .SMmtnry. Ardtiloru Cliniitiir. Mi ll.llnvnl 4rh I "Olin. m- t t III iht-ir liull aver ' l hllli,. .,.,.. .Ion. Ih futirlli "I Uuraili.v ul.:'uln . e'a r.iomh. A. II. SII.MMAS, IDI l-l ' I y . AMlmnm fa..... Mi. II 1.' I ...... ...i.,p in i.irr.i -ii n lUUilliTlllll Hull i'Viit7 . i'.iiiiJ h n 1 lortri 'i M ,n,,i., .il.-lii. .ii I'Mch inonlli. VliUn vi i Una li'mlwl li. annul. 0. II. Kkiiiiiick, consul fonuiinitil.ir. (ImihiiK linn. dork. Ailvcttiau in liiu Anliuoritu. IAKE . . . TO ALL HOIHTS . . . &J? . HIS WMHHR PAIiCE 80JTET SlEEi'Ilft CAK. . . . AND . . . Free Reclikinq Chair Cah3 From Texas . . . TO . . . Cf K . rv- n ami C,.i,s, MalclnRClpjeomiwitin wit! fw.t trains o Kastont and Norihort iluoa Xur Now York, Boston, Philadelphia, uuirclo, Montreal ami St. Paul. XillI.'Ji.?.tX"n.0,r.ri,B" p'- Tl orrr Its troml)pat0rtou",y"aunaou,,'mo St. LouLs, ICanMj City and llannlbrJ. SERVICE UNSURPASSED. Infonnatlon cheerfully furnished by 'ambs lunianj, vr. a. crush. (..hI n. 4j., omi imh. j m. ji,,., n.-A.xr iff tfM. rji..j:.rfr..vJy; 0LD PiPRS FORI SALS QMlfglsnOFFIQE, tBT A OOOD EXAMPLtJ. A Uoo.l I' aoe for kienelii HiiK2ntil ljr Dili Anooilolx. I).irlti(f rroMilont Arthur's term, ho, wltli Robert Lincoln ami ot!iir no. li bera of Innc.iblnut, tooka trip thr6igh tha iioilth nml Weil. Abraham Mil-c-bi v(ih Njrn In Iirilc eoiinly. ICen-Uu-icy, ami a fanner living near lil blrlliplucn, known ns "Undo Hob" ll.iys, ooiiotilvoil tlio bleu of emtln a canu on tlio old IjIik-oIii pl.iou ami proicntltiir It to Mr. Lilnnoln. Willi frrtrnt labor ho proparcd u Hji!e.:b, anJ practiced It dnlly. .lint boforo Man iny fur bonUvlllo bo wrtppeil tbo ina'iu erlpt urouml tbu enno, and ilu.l It with twlno. Wlion Ibo prenlileni's cany arrived, t J nolo Hub, hcixinu h a opportunity bcan In a loud voleoi "Mr. Lincoln " Hturtled, thoy looked up. ".Mr. Unooln Doar Kir. I huvo tlio honor ns na humblo reproAontatlro of lYiruo county in tbo great o.)inmouwoiiltbo( IContituUy tlio blrllipln o of your llluitr'ous falhur- to prosont to you thW cauo not for its Intrinsic worth bnt as n muiueoto of that (fro.it and ifooJ man wlinic namo Is d r to nil. Mr. Lincoln, in prosentln this cane ah nh Mr. Miicnln In prnsentlnjf thU cuno I say Mr. Lin.'olu. In prehonl Insr this uano H In vuin bo tried to no.ill what camo no.xt, then, with a sudden return to bis ordinary voice, ami in a lone IndliMtlvo of tliq (roat st ktmltiesi and coiishluration: "Mr. Lilucitlu, 1 recUnn you aro tired, and tho rest of tho speech Is wrapped arouna tbo head of thutcaue." TMSY DEFY ALL DANCER. Mnrlnn Ilnjlnpr. l)o Not Aliynyi llo o.lro ,lu4t 1'rAl.o. Tho mnrlno onglnccrs of tho a:e donotalwnyH got the pralso that l due them. If n ateamer is In dlstreas. It requires careful Judgmuut on the part of both captala ami engineer, ami as great brtrory as has ever bin witnessod on any waters of tho world nas neon cxiuuitoa by engineers on lako craft. With a clear hoad tlu-y have stood at thoir post, and when the vessel h'is gonodown tbo oiigin-er has stoo.l Ui his poit of duty and pjr Hied. Tim chief enItieor is roipiiru.. to ass n rigid oxam'.natlon under the United States laws H tukes him long, years of careful study to got ihicf oiiirinutir's pipers, ami when they uro In his possession thov nav.- a moaning to him that prompt, a devotion to duty nml induces bint to bravo any danger. Wlion it look.'d n if thoro would bo war botwoou the United, States and Chill, there was a convention of mnrlno cugiitucrs In Washington city. A d location from tho convent. on waltod udou tlio hocrotary of war with instruction, to tender hbn the servlees of evrv man In tho convention. Kvory ono of them was willing to risk bis life for bin country. The United S'.atos can de pend upon that noble class of men tbo tuurino cnglnocri iii-timo of war. BUCKINO URONCOS, riioro't Morn ICucltsmAnt TU.in run , Itlillni; tlio llriit.. Many pooplo him nn luti.i that to ride a bmiking b.oneo .a tho cow-boy's Jeiignt, nut thoy re bAd.y n.Utasen. There's no fun in It. When a thor oughbred rours and pruitocs ttiore'o a.) Jar In It, and I rather llko to have jnu do It If I ant riding. Hut when a bronco lueu . and Jump Into tho ait and eomo down stllT logged, with hl feet planted to jethisr, tunt jirs ovory I o In tho rider's Im ly, mp-cinll tbo bickbono, and is ant to make httu fool pretty slot: In short order. My llrst oxpiriouce with a bunk ing bronco curoJ mo of tho id.-a that there was fun In It. I had Innrd that tho cow hoy always locks his spurs under tho brnneo'ii bully at such tlmo, and so I did tlio sami. Vull, tho Rpuru went through tho horse-hair chinch, and the broneo kept buekin? so lm', as they tsUl I there. I ouidu'r gel thorn out till two men came' to help mi;, Tho proper thing todo when a bron co bueki is to keep your sours away from him. hi I aii'ia vmirHiilf f.iriv.i-.l or backward In tho stddlo, uoeordlng to tho way he Jumps, nnl rrnp him well between your knee Yo'i h-ivo to lot hbn bnc.k till ho go w t:nd ot it or flndt out bo enn't get you off. juu i con p u.n. Turnplko Walker I say. Willie, U you h.id a inlllloii dollars wh it would you do with it? Wlillo Work Hay a brewery and live. Maude There Is ono thing llollt can say about bor llaucc. lie bulungc to a wolbktiowq family. (ir-ieo -In dcod? What Is bis uamo? Muttd Smlth. "Is your bnIncss gooj?" nskod tin burglar of tho counterfeiter. "Oood? repeated tho omntorfoltor. "Well I should say it was I havo been just coining money." Tommy's Mamma So Johnny grab bed your apple, did hu? The nuughtt boyl Why didn't you grab It froi ninif lommy, In tears I did. 1 erabUul It from him ilrst Couundrutn Wlmt'a ti, .tiiv., ......... , uiuiiiuiii:! between a cat nml a legal document? Answer The ono has clawbos at the end of lu pawsesj tl-j ether lias pauses at tho end of Its'clausos llnnkiT Vrott7 hot yesterday, wasn't It? Hill Hot Is no name ioi It. My wlfo put a plokorol In a soup tnrecu and ho porsplrod so ranch he was Bwlmmlng around lusldo of thb ty minutes. "Y-a-a-o." Bald young Mr. Ollg.il: "1 sang fob thorn. Thoy didn't seem to cs.ro fob popular music, though." "Liked tomething with mom depth to It, eh?" "Y-n-a-s That's what thoy did. Rj) I g.Ivo It io them." "What uiu you sing" "Down la tbo coal mlna" Think of it, lote hi tho l'VuniUtlo Ail dltlon ninonjr the vorjliuo from $-2bto $100. Sec half page nd. 2 if A GAD PREDICAMENT. Tim llrl nrrrlnml tli Tniinr Mu Artlfop on n I'nrttir hnf A rery ninn.lnff story Is told con cornlmr n nroininent yuunir Louis- vlllo so.lcty man who visited Clileaffo ilurln tlio worm i lair, no was ti.iarillntf nt tlio homo of rolatlvos wlillo tbcro, nml. us laro crowds catno lloeklnjr in during tho last week, ha was s iiccoininotlatlnjf as to five up bis room nnd sleep on a sofa lu the parlor. Ono morning ho ovorslept himself, .ml. ns his door was unlocked, what was bis snrpriso to 11 ml thrco p-otty LouiHvitlo youri women ontar tho rAobi. II,o had prosonro of mind rnuiili to roll under tho sofa, and b ick Into a dirk corner, before they threw o,icn tho shuttors. Hut, al though ho had tuckml hlins:ilf away, he had iicffleotcd to hldo his clothes, vih ch wevo thrown ncros a rooklnif chair. Tho (flrls saw tho clotlilnif, but, helluvitiir tbuy had boon left (hero accidentally by tho lady of tha homo, thought nothing about thorn nml becjn a lively chat about tho uinltv'M of tho day. Tho young nau did not mind bis Imprisonment at first, but frrew very nervous ns tho inln.uci Kradnally lengthened Into bourn IIo stood it for two bourn, but at last grew ho e.t uspurated that ho tbumiied uti.in tha Hour, dnd moekly put bU head out .'rum under tho sofa and as tod tha young women to lero him until In put on his elo'hes. It Is needless to tay thut their nmbarrussment was great, uud that noiio of thorn men ll.iiied tt while In Chicago, but, ns the young man has bIiico recovered from the shook, ho has been unable to re itru'n himself from telling a few friouda of his awkward predicament. NOT A BTRANQEn, Ilia Pasturfs Air Fninlll-r t- tlio T,onj iiW!n( Hunk C'lrrli. "I t.'poo I'll h'tve to go and get somobo.ly to Identify mo licforo you'll cash this chock." said th- man at tho bank cashier's window, dolefully, "and I'm a fttrangor in this town. Thero ain't a soul hero that know me." 'Your name," replied Ibo cashier, after a moment's Inspection of hl.i ra'lr, "is Ambrnso llavrcnslaw. " 'That's rlglitl" exclaimed the oth-r In Riirprlno. "How do yon know my nam? ''You were cured of nervous exhaus tion ami kid .ev diseaso of eleven your.)' standing." was tho renly, "by taking- four:con bottlrsof Hlau'kham'i Parsaparlltn, prleo 81 a bottle. euH by all druggists, nono genuine with out tho name of tho m.innf.ictn -er In raised letters on tho dottle," eoutlnno I tho cashlor, raising bis voloo nnd speaking with g-owinj Irritation, "and a cure guaranteed In all cases whero taken according to directions or money cheerfully refunded, band over your obeekand bofpilc'c about it, ?50, all right, hero's your money, nnd I'll give you ato moro if you'll II ml soma way to pet the publishers of tbo Advocate of Oospol Liberty that l'vi been takln' for the list twonty-flvo yenm to qu t prilling your portrait In their ndvertls. ng odumni fro 6nu it every wei-k for Mxteon months nnd I'm tired to death of It and If von haven't ny further business ymt can tako your mnuoy and go; god after-, noonl" Kl'w.l tho '. ' A lawyer tells a atory of how ho got 'evon with a preacher. It was on Mm occasion of his second marrlngo After concluding the ceremony tho minister to dt ndvantnge of tho privilege im corded blm by custom of kl slnTthe bride. While m emf.tgi-1 the lawyer suddenly imprinted a reso L'sonniVng k'ss iniitr's wife, v.-ho wiiiBtandlng immndliteiy behind the wedding imrty. The lady was l i dlguant and the minister axiced f r an explanation. Cooliy tuioiK'b, and In a few words, the lawyer expressed tbo opinion that 1'. was a roor ndo ; that wouldn't woik both w.iys, and I ho liad as mit.-rt right to k si tho, ) prrachor's wife as the former had to ' kia. the bride. : I Nnturn'ii Itiutfir Kotnry. I I i'eat diggers at Cavmnllsh. rltrad- more, Iri'latnl, havo mude a ren.arka- 1 t!o discovery. At a depth i.f nenrU ! twenty-ilve feet they have linear. hud J a stratum ot what a pram to be pure butter. 'I he "vein ' varies In thick-1 uoss from ono to suvon Inehc.i, and is ald to bo of the consistency of com- 1 icon bar soap. Oeotoglsts who havo visited tho locality of till wonderful llnd say that it is simply a layer of mineral wax, bnt the workmen uttll dec nro that "ludado, It's a bog of butter." If tho stratum proves to bo extensive it will probably bo utilized In tho mauufacttiro of soup.) and nandlco. Coiiijiot.ory Itctlglon. A writer of the day gives an amnslng Illustration of tho rollj'tous onthuslasm of tho Russians, au.l thoir dos'ro to ox- toiwl tlio knowledge of truth. Tho authorities ovory now and then makr an oxourslon Into Siberia and bring back a lot of Huddhists, whom they proeeeo. to baptize lu Bplto of thoir loudly-oxpressod dlssont. After ban ,i.t ,i ... m.iuf wiein inoy say to thorn: "Now, you dogti, you nro Christians, uud you i can trn runt ni-n. tn ...m.h .. . . .. ' ' jw... ii,ai.jr U'4." Oi much us yon wish, and thauk them thai you aro Christians." "Dnh's now people llbbln in ie houso 'cross do road Turn yon." 'Dood doy Is. An' doy's quality folks, too." How kin yoh tell?" Caso doy hab do signs. Doy hows doy hub 'slduratlon fob dey'ro follow man." How?" Doy don' lock do chlckcnu up In io wood ahed. " Atlvortise in the Aniinon ito. VVA3 A MUSCUL'AP PERSON. An l.njrlhli tllvlnx Wlin 1'ttt Bn '."'I to in Orlijlfiiil ytut l'r. A curious caso was dUcussod In an Knclish court tveently, nay.i tho JuttoerH' Wookly. It ftnolvod niteHtioii n'hotbor Intentlounl iVcoii- tlon was pructlcod in lr.ltoliny n watch and chain an Gold Watub i.nd Chain." 'ho obvious meanltijf of tho wording, nnd ono to. wbbili no exception can bo tukon, wai that both tho urtlclos woro of goid A clergyman passing tho etoro In tho wlmb.w of which tboy woro displayed aw tho slgni "Ciold Wntuh mid Ulialn.pilco il.lls.iid" (about $7.A ). ConsIdorln.!f the bargain unooininonly uheap, ho oponod ovorturos for a purehafo. Hoforo, hiwovnr, putting upon it tho final clinch, hodoinandwl a written gunranten thut tho quulltv of both wntoh and chain was oxautly ns roprosunted. Tlirttitt Into an ugly position tbo doalor wn forced to confess that tho sign's rJu-osaology woo deceptive: tho chain was not gold. Tho admission In thfi InsMnco wns frnnlc. Tho Indignant clorgy man mado eomo strongly perti nent remarks. Angored nt boliijj cnlrupjiod nnd rnmonstrntod with, tho fioro-kccper threatened to eject his Imiulsltor. Hut ho inalo n sa.l error Id enraging tho cloricnl cunt i. iner. who, It uppoars, hud parsed tho University, with flying colors as a ' iinmnou auiioio. Look bore," said tbo old gvmnat. "I (Icn'Nwunt to tuko nclvontago of you. but It you lay a linger on mo I'll trim you round tbo shop. Yon may tako eomo porsonb to bo old tromuu, but you uro In tho wrong box this llmo." Further tho would-bo o'octor did not vontnra A pollcotimn'wvis sum ni'ineil nnd thi douior nt rostcd. Tho mnglstrnto lined hbn. nftor which ha couri'od bis way homo, n e.;ddur nnd a much wUor man. ALL FOU NOrillNO. If tlio Inilj HiJ ISiir Turin Whit STori Con l Mlir Wnt. Atn English lady, wulkingdown tbo Lung 'Aruo In Kloronco, misled her pursa Tbo suitptciouj mo omon'.s of n man In front ma lo bor boldly demand tho stt'ilon projioity. Too amassed to rofuao tho thief hnndu 1 I ovor , V'0 PV'?0- 'I'ffnaft "t ""cb brond-diiy robbory, tho ladv Ktoppd un elegantly ureascd gontl'tnan nmL In oxcl'.od tonos. beijan to mmr out her crievunoo. Moroly waiting to boar "11101 man stole my pur:-o." tbo galluut Italian rutihod nftor ths tblof, who proinpt'ry took to bis beols. Tboy bnd a good run boforo tho tblu'could dodgo hlu purMior. Tho nun of a Buminor day did not help tho pollto Horcntlno to koop cool; bo, red-fuood an 1 out of breath, ho turned bnolc to moot tbo Knglbih la 'y with profuso ajiologlus. "Mad am. I am vory, very sorry. I did my liost, but your pnrso Is gono." "t;h, nol" sbo icpUo.1. Bwootly, "I havo my purso. I got It back from tho man." " lot your ptirio bsck! J'or liaoco! What did you vitnt, then Want: Why. I want Jutico." It was too much, oron f.lr prove rblul Italian urb ilty. nnd. nhnou chok ing with slid'. on wrutn. ho gusod out: "Just oo' To think I nhoijl.l havo run myself into a pjrepiratlon for juatlcu " "lu- -hut Illm i.f A prominent ! nglUbuian. Lord I)., nnd n proverbial havor of A'tarcu nnd Amurlcuns. wu- dining latoty In l'arls with tint lirltinii minister, and next to him at iae tabJo '.van a noted Newn Tt Iwllo, Ali8 X. 'Ibo con vor.mtion bod drifted to a lUsoussion of thinga Amoncan. It Is nc'illrMS tfl0t ''''d 1'. matin homo protty dlxngreoablo rem.irks about some vwuuriuiuin mi nau mot and hptno Yankoo customs bo abhorred. "Why. d've know." bo contlnuo.1 with n;t almost unpardonnblo want of tact, thut ut noino of tho plaeos I tlitiod In America I uaw poojdo er.t'wlth thoir knives and spilt their soup on tho tublocloth.1" Miss X. wus thor oughly provoked by this tlmo, mil bIio replied with apparent unooncorni "What poor lottors ol Introduet'.nn you mast havo had, my lord." Thoro was no m-To uoploa ant talk nbout Atnorlca that ovonlng. Hnrpor'a Hazur. Ciri. Orog, n mlxturo of spirits nnd water, was so called from Admit nl Vernon, a distinguished liritltdi Biillor. Ho alwn a woro a grogram coat nnd wus called "Uld Urog" by his sallorii. Hu lutroducod tho ration of spirits into the navy bill of faro, nnd tho mlxturo ut onco received his ulcknatuo. Arll.tloilly IUimIIoiL "Did you hear about young WArt, tho china palutor?" No; what Is It?" "Ho has boon eorvod llko hla own oh lu a." "How Is that?" His wifo'B fathor llrod him." A llrtliai' 1 tionry. Llttlo Dot -Isn't papa rich? Little Dick Ymsovorybody says nn. Llttlo Dot Then why doas ho say ho wunts mo to lourn how to ourn my own Ivllng wlion I grow up? Littlo Dick So somo ouo will marry you, I guoss. An lInei.icito, I'lns.tirp, MrsB,VInslow I'm vory glad you culled'. Mr. Wnlkor. Mi;. Wulkor Oh. thnnka, nw.ully. MUs Winslow, moro cnthushis tleUly Yes, I urn bo dollgbtod to havo soen that bonutlful dog of yours. Truth, ItlU.rul iBiioriuirp. "I don't bollovo that mint of ralno know sho bus a moustache" solllo quUod young Sj oonumoru, "and It's boon right under bor noao for tbo I last twonty-Gvti years."