Newspaper Page Text
Ardmore, Thursday, March 29, 1906.
NEWSPAPER CHAFF. A. Washington guide directed the at tention of a party of slglitieer to a small gray haired man, and said af fectionately: "Thorp Koea one of the greatest men In the country. That'i Chief Justice Fuller." "Why, he has no filature whatever," wlilapared ono of tire ladltn. "No velnlit," hartlly r joined another. "And 1 cant under stand," observed a man In the group, "how ho ha liutnaKed to attain to eo reat a licrfght." Tho guide nnswerod him algnlDeuntly and tenioly, "llo caugo of lils Brent depth." KnnMii City Star. "Aftor I had finished my bear, still rtollnj; thlinty, I called for notne fruit," wild tho tourlat. "Uut the waiter ttiook ts1 howl." -'Why not7' said I. "It la against tho law, Unr,' the waiter replied. There Is a law hero la Otrmany that no one la to he served Inter and fruit together. If a rtttmt rantour breaks this law, he loaea his license." " 'It Is a Rood law,' the waiter add ed. 'It Is based on good sound sen He. beer and fruit don't mix. They are Im.l for the stomach. Sometimes they cnuso donth.' "Since that time," the tourist end ot), "I hnve novcr mixed beer and fruit. It Is a strango Idea, Isn't It, to havo food lnw like that? Suppose PrttHldeut Itoosvolt should phh a law forbidding tho cntlng at tho wuiio meal of Ice cream and lobster, or mlnco pie and plum pudding. What a bowl would in up, oh?" Hxclmngo. The hero worshiping lrl ltod Just mot tho manager of nn Imported pian ist and was tnvlni; ovor tho performer In a way not wholly dlspleasliiB to tho promoter of publicity. "Oh. I thought ho was too perfect and Insplrod laM WVdnemlny," nho KUhod. "There Hcomod poetry and longlni; In his play Iiir that worn ntroiigor than usual. If ml anything happened to mako It no?" Tho managor' smiled brutally. "Yea, ho wan stirred up .that day, and he untitled through1 tho program. You Rue, bo mlascri bis lunch and I'd promised to blow him to dlnnor, so ho was In a ' hurry." Cblcano Inter Ocean. lolm Wesley Oalncs, who has boon called "the Inventor of porpotual mo tion In conversation," went to Con necticut norno tlmo ago lo deliver a speech. Ho mado a hit with. the cltl xens of tho nuttnc-; state and they nx lotitcd a Watcrbury watch to him. Mr. Oalnos was tnlklni? nbout It and won dorlnR why they gnvo hlin a Water bury Instead of a gold watclr. "They had read about your hablu, Oalno-," said a Iteirtibllcau frloncl, "and they pnvo yen that wateh so that you would hn Uopt on busy winding It up you would not havo time to mako any Hiwccheo In tho houno." Kansas City J Star. There Is a Rood story told fit a man wh'o has become orio of our most nuc cesflful morchants. A few yearn ago bo was employed nfl un oince boy and messenger for a largo firm. Ho was Hont to collect an account rrom n firm which was considered very "shaky,' and was told to get the money at all hazards. Tho dobtor Kfvo the lad n check for $2C0. Ho went to tho bank at onco to cash It and was told by tho cashier that there waa not enough funds In to meet It. "How much short?" asked tho Ind. "Bovon dollnrH,' was Uio aiwwor. It lacked but a minute or two of thto tlmo for tho bank to close. Tho hoy felt In his pockets, tool: out $7, and pURhlng It through tho widow said: "Put that to tho credit of IllanL & Co.: Tho cnslilor did bo, whoroupon the boy proKentcd a chock and got tho money. Wank & Co. failed the next day nnd thnlr chagrin can be rcttor Imagined than described when they found out tho trick Unit hnd boon played upon thorn. Popular Magnzlue. ' Alexander Wlnton. In tho smoking riom of the Celtic, discussed a notod Imt dlslionest chauffeur. "i'lio man Is nltogether bhamelGbs," he wild. "Ho roiulnda mo of a Scot tlHtr.liaggar whom they Rtlll talk about In. ttdlnburgh. . "A gontlqman cumo. uou tho beggar ono ovenlug at a muglc' lantorii oxhl , lltlon. . "Why, I thought you' were a blind hoggar man!" ho cried. ' "''Thut'H my lay, gov'nuf, ftfl.d the ..beggar.. : . ."'Wellv you'rp not blliul now,' said tho .gentleman. ' ' "Tho .beggar gave him an Indignant and' reproachful look. VCan't a poor feller tako an ev'nln', off samp times?"'- ho said Indignantly.' Exchange, Ollvor Peebles tJeuUlns of Stanford 'University Is hoad professor of tho dd 'partmcnt of zoology. Hq Is a scientist and therefore a 'deep JlUuher, and consequently otto? .preoccupied and absently-minded. His most recent nd vonturo attributable to his absent- minded propensities Is at present fur- j niching much amusemeut for the fuc 1 utly. j Ho m reading tno evening after rituncr when his wife approached, and touching htm on tho shoulder, remarK- j ed softly: "Oliver, Mr. and Mrs. Uran ntr are -coming over this evening, so Just go up stairs and put on your other cost.' ' The quiet little professor compiled wlthotit a murmur. An hour Inter, when tho visitors had beon In the house some time, the hostess excused herself for a moment and slipped up stairs to see what detained Dr. Jen kltin. She found him In bed, calmly Hloeplng. "Oh, to bo sure, tho Hranners," ho said when sho awakened him. "I'll bo right dwn. I guens I wan a little nb-lent-mliuled. I must have forgotten wliht I enme for when I.romoml my coat, for I kept right on undressing and wont to bed." San Francisco Chronicle. COTTON BELT EXCURSIONS. Iw Angeles, Cat., tmo faro for the round trip. Soiling April 25 to Slay 5 Inclusive. Tickets limited for re turn July HI, 190G. San Francisco, Cnl., ono fare plus $2 for tho round trip. Selling June 25 to July 7, 100C, Inclusive. Limited for roturn September 15, 190C. Los Angeles, Cnl., ono fare for the round trip. Soiling September 3 to II Inclusive. Umlt for roturn Octo tier 31, 190C. St. Paul, Minn., ono fare plus $2 Selling May 20 to 30, 190C. Limit Juno 9, 190G. Des Molnos, In, ono faro plus $2. Selling May 14, IB, 10. 17, 21 and 23. 190C. Limit May 31. 1908. Special excursions to Mexico, one faro for tho round trip. Selling April 2G to Mny S and September 3 to 11. 190C. Umlt July 31 and October 31, 1900. Special excursions to Moxlco, one faro plus 2 for tho round trip, Sell Ing Juno 25. July 27, 1900. Limit September ID, 1906. New Orleans, Lti., 1 cent per tnllo In each direction plus 2a cents. Tickets to ho sold April 23, 23 and 21, 1900. Final limit Mny V. 1906 Chattanooga, Tciin., ono faro plus $2. Ticket to bo sold Mny 7 to 9 in clusive Final limit ton day from dato of salo. Very low rates will bo mado effec tlvo to the following: Austin, Texas Tickets will bo rfold on convention basis, March 26, 27, with limit of March 30, 1900. San Antonio, Texas Tickets to be sold on convention basis Juno IS and 19, 1900. Limit Juno 22, 1900. Waoo, Texas Tlckcta to bo Bold on convention basis April 23 and 24. 1900 Limited April 2S, 1900. Oal voston, Toxas-Tlckets to bo sold on convention basis April 22, 23 mid 21, 1900. Limited for return April 27, i'JOO Tyler. Tcxru ono and onothlrd farca for tho round trip, To bo sold April 10 and 20, 1906. Limited for roturn April 24, 1906. Call on any Cotton Holt agent for full information regarding your trip or addrcn D. M. MOIU1AN, Trar. Pass Act, Fort Worth, Tex, OUS HOOVI5R. ' Trav. Pass. Agt. Waco, Texas. It. C. FYFB, Asst. Qcd. Frt, and Pass. Agt, Tyler, Texas. JOHN F. LKILYNB, Gon. Frt. and Pass. Agt. Tyler, Tex. -TO CALIFORNIA Ont.Woy Colonist TicKtts S25.o February 15 to April 7th For your accorjiinodu tion Latest Typo Pull man Tourist Blcopinir. .Cars will bo run through,, nb clmngo : Tho. Sleeper will leave ' Giilveston, Texas, ev ery Tuesday, on train No..0. . Atldrcss lrio or pam phlet: '" California in a Tourist Car." This Rate Applies rrom' Ardmore W. S. KEENAN, G; P. A. CALVESTOK THE DAILY ARDMOREITE. nrm mm. III. A White Man's Reitaurant CONUUCTKU nv White People Best Cnlslue In Town FINEST FRESH MEATS Sausairo, IJ.un, Ohoii n Roasts, Luscious- Straits, and Tondor SSpan Kibs, Ctnvd ll.tins : , : ; : : Celory ar.d Oysters MAS. KERNER Iln.-Krl noir (llln.pr ltt'!i. ' l'liHir I2 TUGKER'S MARKET Fresh and Cured Meats SteaKs and Roasts rompt Delivery Phnnr 19 New Spring Woolens MY Miiv nf Wootf B. '(l.r rntim nil tin n'vr Hprlrk Nnv'lllt'. han itrrl...1 -r Iha rlk-tit III for Hie rltzht ft, for tin' rUlit j;in..i auil f r IhH rluht irtr. In mi tit jitar t:illr CARL D, DAVIS Next iliHirto Hurtun-lVi'l' I'tiiinero Single Comb Brown Leghorn Won two tM.on.i " I, iinn Sil tirlipn nt Anlinoro Fiilr. Il o.'t'ilny llk'KHI.W port.. Jirthui!i(tlTv Pars DEAN HA11H, l'honc 475 HEATER OR COOK W000 ilnllrnroil ou nhor' uolleo. Ilnvo Irnrllon vnulnn auil will w au;wlnrtt In nan wowl Fit ED WILLIAMS rtionoMD. Yard n.nr rt Anlumro ll.il cb mm & MERRELL Real Estate and Coliections Oltlc.1 Una'. .Vlt.t.l..n lll-lK . M rlixir Wo bavu no m i' nlct liunlovi. nml rod ilonro lir in'ny, f ir r.ilt. or rent, cbi-np, Ainu, sivi-iitl ntli-nlluu ulvnn tu culli-c llniiit, llvn u jnor iic-DUn' NOTARY IN OFFICE W. E. WARDEN REAL ESTATE t.Ut you.-Cltr iiO Farm Prntit-rl) with mo. I utre and k"f I'jou twircalni, doal In ootlwO, Intcrmirrlpd nurhlu ad doad olalui. Ollloo niiktitlm, uiilt taiil niflc In Jones' Building Room 12 Phone 562 Wni. UtiVEWV Gurriafjo Hcpair Shop UlacknuiltMnif, Wood work. I'alullDkf anfl Trluimlui;. Ilt-ary furulneand licirnebuclr. lu i'iinut-tloD, soi l'.at HroutwHV ArdBHiro. IT REAL ESTATE Wo liur auit Imllnu la'nOa, wi Iraro H-ura truvla nf la nil fur alt. L-liraii, priuvn unit loc;ntloii to nll Wt alxu rnli city property) ana can ault you both In prlcru nml liiuattniii wo mil live you munuy, buth In liuylntf auil mpIiIqk your laud, or ynUM'lty property. He im Lo. furu you ileal.wlili ..ilirra. riionoNu. MH One Door West U, S. Court House, ARDHOrtE, I. T. LADY MACCABEES. Hello of the Pratrlo IIlvo No, , Ladles ot tho Maccabeea meets ou tho first and third Jlon- daj-it ot each month at 7:30 p. m in tho Oddfellows Hall. MKS. H U D ALTON, C. una Josephine cAirn. k of n. m n t 11 Humphreys lieill V J. A. DIVENS. President DON LACY, Vice President iff Hallona AKDMOItn, INDIAN TCfmiTOrtY Capital $100,000.00 Surplus Funds 50.000,00 Accounts ot Arms nnd Individuals sol leltod. Courteous treatment accorded to all allko. u r. ANnKitao. rrriideo i L ANDKIIHO.N Ctiblcr FiHS T NATIONAL Ardmf, Indian Ttrrllorr Capital raid In Surplns Tonds Total. Thai Iflrn imai to Indlio TJ-rtiorr. AocohdU at arm nd Imlttiaealt 'llolleil npon ih tnoti lllii-ril urni eiinilalenl lih notti hinkluj COMFORT AND CONVENIENCE In tlit tir.unyiiiii'nt of our mnkitif: ofllci', wo have iimdc lihoral )iovision for tlio comfort ami convun ifticoofour imtrons. Wo Invito your ln'jiection. General Banking in All Its Branches Capital $250,000.00 The BANKERS TRUST CO. IMPORTANT NOTICE Wo har uitiln arraiiinirnl. Willi V, M, Paifr to .IrllTiT I ollou Anril JImiI and llulln lo your tiaru at !l.M pr lou fur thn Hull u 1 Ja mr aark for lll M..ai The Beit and Clicupcst Feed for your Milch Cow Mr l au-x'a I'Ihidii No In ?(, Call li!ra up. i iionk Ardmore Oil Q Milling Company The Plumber IS lilie the doctor and the jeweler yon have to depend on them be cause THEY Know their business, and YOU don't. Honest, careful, pains taking worK is what we sell, what we give, and what you 'should demand. A complete lineof Standard Porcelain Fixtures, and a very pretty line of nicKel plated Buth Room Trimmings always on hand. We have what you want. Let us show you and you will recommend us to your neighbor. WeeKs Bros.l PRACTICAL TINNERS AND PLUMBERS I A. H. PALMER, Cashier FRCD C. CAriR, Asst. Cashier. ! Bank II. F. fUKNHLKT, Vic ttf. f O.fl UAUPi.. AM I .Mr S (0,000.00 240,000.00 $300,000.00 LEADER FLOUR The World's Standord TYLER & SIMPSON COMPANY Wholcsalo Distriljutors, ARDMORE, 1. T. BANK SCVCN A Man of His Word : "un h hivxi unn irn. c i. lr i fi lie" la lirlinn rMirntlnl in u cr In life, lleainllinlr llf iji.i - , im, H'fir fraln. I Good Lumber and Promptnc's In ililiprt l lli ropatati .n i' t lumber rarl Our UixImt i all in I not part wmxl anj part rot. hka mi rt. (ifHtit lnmhr asil I w n- rl nicmi u j EAST SIDE LUMBER COMPANY ' vu.uy imjH :rnoNi: Nn f FOR bALL BARRED PLYMOUTH ROfiK Cbl('krn and Ktren PLAIN VIEW FARM Helix J Klne. Prop. Tnlrpnonott? V V Plansiffer Flour AHK YOUIt OUOOKIt i t Whalcy Mill Elevator1 Company h THE BEST SERVICE i la OtlercJ tir thn LOUISVILLE & NASHVILLE RAILROAD Tit tba Cast and northeast a Through Flein-r Dally from Hot HI'rlUKH Ii' Louisville and Cincinnati VIA MKMI'IIIH 1-or full Inforroalloo at lo Hatna, Tim Tabln, tift f plr to ji'ur local atrrnt or ai.r- N. B. BAIRD Trn I'tii. AbI.,1 Itllc Dock, Ark. ARDMORE AUTOMATIC STORE GO, (INCOrtl'OIUTHU Capital Stock - $50,000.00 Mannfaoturera of ADtuniatto Btorea, On Oubluet work bf ull kin Ja ami m urjlblnif In the inanlnK MIIMIue. f vcorr to Frnluy llron., at tholr old atarnl. $5, tlO aaJ 120 coupon toofc at tnl offlo. , . t