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The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, March 29, 1906, Image 7

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Ardmore, Thursday, March 29, 1906.
NEWSPAPER CHAFF.
A. Washington guide directed the at
tention of a party of slglitieer to a
small gray haired man, and said af
fectionately: "Thorp Koea one of the
greatest men In the country. That'i
Chief Justice Fuller." "Why, he has
no filature whatever," wlilapared ono
of tire ladltn. "No velnlit," hartlly r
joined another. "And 1 cant under
stand," observed a man In the group,
"how ho ha liutnaKed to attain to eo
reat a licrfght." Tho guide nnswerod
him algnlDeuntly and tenioly, "llo
caugo of lils Brent depth." KnnMii
City Star.
"Aftor I had finished my bear, still
rtollnj; thlinty, I called for notne fruit,"
wild tho tourlat. "Uut the waiter ttiook
ts1 howl."
-'Why not7' said I.
"It la against tho law, Unr,' the
waiter replied. There Is a law hero
la Otrmany that no one la to he served
Inter and fruit together. If a rtttmt
rantour breaks this law, he loaea his
license."
" 'It Is a Rood law,' the waiter add
ed. 'It Is based on good sound sen He.
beer and fruit don't mix. They are Im.l
for the stomach. Sometimes they cnuso
donth.'
"Since that time," the tourist end
ot), "I hnve novcr mixed beer and
fruit. It Is a strango Idea, Isn't It, to
havo food lnw like that? Suppose
PrttHldeut Itoosvolt should phh a law
forbidding tho cntlng at tho wuiio meal
of Ice cream and lobster, or mlnco pie
and plum pudding. What a bowl would
in up, oh?" Hxclmngo.
The hero worshiping lrl ltod Just
mot tho manager of nn Imported pian
ist and was tnvlni; ovor tho performer
In a way not wholly dlspleasliiB to tho
promoter of publicity. "Oh. I thought
ho was too perfect and Insplrod laM
WVdnemlny," nho KUhod. "There
Hcomod poetry and longlni; In his play
Iiir that worn ntroiigor than usual.
If ml anything happened to mako It
no?"
Tho managor' smiled brutally. "Yea,
ho wan stirred up .that day, and he
untitled through1 tho program. You Rue,
bo mlascri bis lunch and I'd promised
to blow him to dlnnor, so ho was In a
' hurry." Cblcano Inter Ocean.
lolm Wesley Oalncs, who has boon
called "the Inventor of porpotual mo
tion In conversation," went to Con
necticut norno tlmo ago lo deliver a
speech. Ho mado a hit with. the cltl
xens of tho nuttnc-; state and they nx
lotitcd a Watcrbury watch to him. Mr.
Oalnos was tnlklni? nbout It and won
dorlnR why they gnvo hlin a Water
bury Instead of a gold watclr. "They
had read about your hablu, Oalno-,"
said a Iteirtibllcau frloncl, "and they
pnvo yen that wateh so that you
would hn Uopt on busy winding It up
you would not havo time to mako any
Hiwccheo In tho houno." Kansas City
J Star.
There Is a Rood story told fit a man
wh'o has become orio of our most nuc
cesflful morchants. A few yearn ago
bo was employed nfl un oince boy and
messenger for a largo firm. Ho was
Hont to collect an account rrom n firm
which was considered very "shaky,'
and was told to get the money at all
hazards. Tho dobtor Kfvo the lad n
check for $2C0. Ho went to tho bank
at onco to cash It and was told by tho
cashier that there waa not enough
funds In to meet It.
"How much short?" asked tho Ind.
"Bovon dollnrH,' was Uio aiwwor.
It lacked but a minute or two of thto
tlmo for tho bank to close. Tho hoy
felt In his pockets, tool: out $7, and
pURhlng It through tho widow said:
"Put that to tho credit of IllanL &
Co.:
Tho cnslilor did bo, whoroupon the
boy proKentcd a chock and got tho
money. Wank & Co. failed the next
day nnd thnlr chagrin can be rcttor
Imagined than described when they
found out tho trick Unit hnd boon
played upon thorn. Popular Magnzlue.
' Alexander Wlnton. In tho smoking
riom of the Celtic, discussed a notod
Imt dlslionest chauffeur.
"i'lio man Is nltogether bhamelGbs,"
he wild. "Ho roiulnda mo of a Scot
tlHtr.liaggar whom they Rtlll talk about
In. ttdlnburgh.
. "A gontlqman cumo. uou tho beggar
ono ovenlug at a muglc' lantorii oxhl
, lltlon.
. "Why, I thought you' were a blind
hoggar man!" ho cried.
' "''Thut'H my lay, gov'nuf, ftfl.d the
..beggar.. : .
."'Wellv you'rp not blliul now,' said
tho .gentleman. '
' "Tho .beggar gave him an Indignant
and' reproachful look.
VCan't a poor feller tako an ev'nln',
off samp times?"'- ho said Indignantly.'
Exchange,
Ollvor Peebles tJeuUlns of Stanford
'University Is hoad professor of tho dd
'partmcnt of zoology. Hq Is a scientist
and therefore a 'deep JlUuher, and
consequently otto? .preoccupied and
absently-minded. His most recent nd
vonturo attributable to his absent-
minded propensities Is at present fur- j
niching much amusemeut for the fuc 1
utly. j
Ho m reading tno evening after
rituncr when his wife approached, and
touching htm on tho shoulder, remarK- j
ed softly: "Oliver, Mr. and Mrs. Uran
ntr are -coming over this evening, so
Just go up stairs and put on your other
cost.' '
The quiet little professor compiled
wlthotit a murmur. An hour Inter,
when tho visitors had beon In the
house some time, the hostess excused
herself for a moment and slipped up
stairs to see what detained Dr. Jen
kltin. She found him In bed, calmly
Hloeplng.
"Oh, to bo sure, tho Hranners," ho
said when sho awakened him. "I'll bo
right dwn. I guens I wan a little nb-lent-mliuled.
I must have forgotten
wliht I enme for when I.romoml my
coat, for I kept right on undressing
and wont to bed." San Francisco
Chronicle.
COTTON BELT EXCURSIONS.
Iw Angeles, Cat., tmo faro for the
round trip. Soiling April 25 to Slay
5 Inclusive. Tickets limited for re
turn July HI, 190G.
San Francisco, Cnl., ono fare plus
$2 for tho round trip. Selling June
25 to July 7, 100C, Inclusive. Limited
for roturn September 15, 190C.
Los Angeles, Cnl., ono fare for the
round trip. Soiling September 3 to
II Inclusive. Umlt for roturn Octo
tier 31, 190C.
St. Paul, Minn., ono fare plus $2
Selling May 20 to 30, 190C. Limit
Juno 9, 190G.
Des Molnos, In, ono faro plus $2.
Selling May 14, IB, 10. 17, 21 and 23.
190C. Limit May 31. 1908.
Special excursions to Mexico, one
faro for tho round trip. Selling April
2G to Mny S and September 3 to 11.
190C. Umlt July 31 and October 31,
1900.
Special excursions to Moxlco, one
faro plus 2 for tho round trip, Sell
Ing Juno 25. July 27, 1900. Limit
September ID, 1906.
New Orleans, Lti., 1 cent per tnllo In
each direction plus 2a cents. Tickets
to ho sold April 23, 23 and 21, 1900.
Final limit Mny V. 1906
Chattanooga, Tciin., ono faro plus
$2. Ticket to bo sold Mny 7 to 9 in
clusive Final limit ton day from
dato of salo.
Very low rates will bo mado effec
tlvo to the following:
Austin, Texas Tickets will bo rfold
on convention basis, March 26, 27,
with limit of March 30, 1900.
San Antonio, Texas Tickets to be
sold on convention basis Juno IS and
19, 1900. Limit Juno 22, 1900.
Waoo, Texas Tlckcta to bo Bold on
convention basis April 23 and 24. 1900
Limited April 2S, 1900.
Oal voston, Toxas-Tlckets to bo
sold on convention basis April 22, 23
mid 21, 1900. Limited for return
April 27, i'JOO
Tyler. Tcxru ono and onothlrd
farca for tho round trip, To bo sold
April 10 and 20, 1906. Limited for
roturn April 24, 1906.
Call on any Cotton Holt agent for
full information regarding your trip
or addrcn D. M. MOIU1AN,
Trar. Pass Act, Fort Worth, Tex,
OUS HOOVI5R. '
Trav. Pass. Agt. Waco, Texas.
It. C. FYFB,
Asst. Qcd. Frt, and Pass. Agt, Tyler,
Texas.
JOHN F. LKILYNB,
Gon. Frt. and Pass. Agt. Tyler, Tex.
-TO
CALIFORNIA
Ont.Woy Colonist TicKtts
S25.o
February 15 to April 7th
For your accorjiinodu
tion Latest Typo Pull
man Tourist Blcopinir.
.Cars will bo run
through,, nb clmngo :
Tho. Sleeper will leave
' Giilveston, Texas, ev
ery Tuesday, on train
No..0. .
Atldrcss lrio or pam
phlet: '" California in a
Tourist Car."
This Rate Applies rrom' Ardmore
W. S. KEENAN, G; P. A.
CALVESTOK
THE DAILY ARDMOREITE.
nrm
mm.
III.
A White Man's Reitaurant
CONUUCTKU nv
White People
Best Cnlslue In Town
FINEST FRESH MEATS
Sausairo, IJ.un, Ohoii n Roasts,
Luscious- Straits, and Tondor
SSpan Kibs, Ctnvd ll.tins : , :
; : : Celory ar.d Oysters
MAS. KERNER
Iln.-Krl noir (llln.pr ltt'!i. ' l'liHir I2
TUGKER'S MARKET
Fresh and Cured Meats
SteaKs and Roasts
rompt Delivery Phnnr 19
New Spring Woolens
MY Miiv nf Wootf B. '(l.r
rntim nil tin n'vr Hprlrk
Nnv'lllt'. han itrrl...1 -r
Iha rlk-tit III for Hie rltzht ft,
for tin' rUlit j;in..i auil f r
IhH rluht irtr. In mi
tit jitar t:illr
CARL D, DAVIS
Next iliHirto Hurtun-lVi'l' I'tiiinero
Single Comb Brown Leghorn
Won two tM.on.i " I, iinn Sil tirlipn nt
Anlinoro Fiilr. Il o.'t'ilny llk'KHI.W
port.. Jirthui!i(tlTv Pars
DEAN HA11H, l'honc 475
HEATER OR COOK W000
ilnllrnroil ou nhor' uolleo. Ilnvo Irnrllon
vnulnn auil will w au;wlnrtt In nan wowl
Fit ED WILLIAMS
rtionoMD. Yard n.nr rt Anlumro ll.il cb
mm & MERRELL
Real Estate and
Coliections
Oltlc.1 Una'. .Vlt.t.l..n lll-lK . M rlixir
Wo bavu no m i' nlct liunlovi. nml rod
ilonro lir in'ny, f ir r.ilt. or rent, cbi-np,
Ainu, sivi-iitl ntli-nlluu ulvnn tu culli-c
llniiit, llvn u jnor iic-DUn'
NOTARY IN OFFICE
W. E. WARDEN
REAL ESTATE
t.Ut you.-Cltr iiO Farm Prntit-rl)
with mo. I utre and k"f I'jou twircalni,
doal In ootlwO, Intcrmirrlpd nurhlu
ad doad olalui.
Ollloo niiktitlm, uiilt taiil niflc In
Jones' Building
Room 12 Phone 562
Wni. UtiVEWV
Gurriafjo Hcpair Shop
UlacknuiltMnif, Wood work. I'alullDkf anfl
Trluimlui;. Ilt-ary furulneand licirnebuclr.
lu i'iinut-tloD,
soi l'.at HroutwHV ArdBHiro. IT
REAL ESTATE
Wo liur auit Imllnu la'nOa, wi Iraro
H-ura truvla nf la nil fur alt. L-liraii,
priuvn unit loc;ntloii to nll Wt alxu rnli
city property) ana can ault you both In
prlcru nml liiuattniii wo mil live you
munuy, buth In liuylntf auil mpIiIqk your
laud, or ynUM'lty property. He im Lo.
furu you ileal.wlili ..ilirra. riionoNu. MH
One Door West U, S. Court House,
ARDHOrtE, I. T.
LADY MACCABEES.
Hello of the Pratrlo
IIlvo No, , Ladles ot
tho Maccabeea meets ou
tho first and third Jlon-
daj-it ot each month at
7:30 p. m
in tho Oddfellows Hall.
MKS. H U D ALTON, C.
una Josephine cAirn. k of n.
m
n t
11
Humphreys lieill
V
J. A. DIVENS. President
DON LACY, Vice President
iff Hallona
AKDMOItn, INDIAN TCfmiTOrtY
Capital $100,000.00
Surplus Funds 50.000,00
Accounts ot Arms nnd Individuals sol leltod. Courteous treatment
accorded to all allko.
u r. ANnKitao. rrriideo
i L ANDKIIHO.N Ctiblcr
FiHS
T NATIONAL
Ardmf, Indian Ttrrllorr
Capital raid In
Surplns Tonds
Total.
Thai Iflrn imai to Indlio TJ-rtiorr. AocohdU at arm nd Imlttiaealt
'llolleil npon ih tnoti lllii-ril urni eiinilalenl lih notti hinkluj
COMFORT
AND CONVENIENCE
In tlit tir.unyiiiii'nt of our mnkitif: ofllci', wo have
iimdc lihoral )iovision for tlio comfort ami convun
ifticoofour imtrons. Wo Invito your ln'jiection.
General Banking in All Its Branches
Capital $250,000.00
The BANKERS TRUST CO.
IMPORTANT NOTICE
Wo har uitiln arraiiinirnl. Willi V, M, Paifr to .IrllTiT I ollou Anril JImiI and
llulln lo your tiaru at !l.M pr lou fur thn Hull u 1 Ja mr aark for lll M..ai
The Beit and Clicupcst Feed for your Milch Cow
Mr l au-x'a I'Ihidii No In ?(, Call li!ra up.
i iionk Ardmore Oil Q Milling Company
The Plumber
IS lilie the doctor and the jeweler
yon have to depend on them be
cause THEY Know their business, and
YOU don't. Honest, careful, pains
taking worK is what we sell, what we
give, and what you 'should demand.
A complete lineof Standard Porcelain
Fixtures, and a very pretty line of
nicKel plated Buth Room Trimmings
always on hand. We have what
you want. Let us show you and you
will recommend us to your neighbor.
WeeKs Bros.l
PRACTICAL TINNERS AND PLUMBERS I
A. H. PALMER, Cashier
FRCD C. CAriR, Asst. Cashier.
! Bank
II. F. fUKNHLKT, Vic ttf. f
O.fl UAUPi.. AM I .Mr
S (0,000.00
240,000.00
$300,000.00
LEADER
FLOUR
The World's Standord
TYLER & SIMPSON
COMPANY
Wholcsalo Distriljutors,
ARDMORE, 1. T.
BANK
SCVCN
A Man of His
Word :
"un h hivxi unn irn. c i. lr i fi
lie" la lirlinn rMirntlnl in u cr
In life, lleainllinlr llf iji.i - , im,
H'fir fraln.
I
Good Lumber and
Promptnc's
In ililiprt l lli ropatati .n i' t
lumber rarl Our UixImt i all in I
not part wmxl anj part rot. hka mi
rt. (ifHtit lnmhr asil I w n- rl
nicmi u j
EAST SIDE
LUMBER COMPANY '
vu.uy imjH :rnoNi: Nn f
FOR bALL
BARRED PLYMOUTH ROfiK
Cbl('krn and Ktren
PLAIN VIEW FARM
Helix J Klne. Prop. Tnlrpnonott?
V
V
Plansiffer Flour
AHK YOUIt OUOOKIt
i
t
Whalcy Mill Elevator1
Company h
THE BEST SERVICE i
la OtlercJ tir thn
LOUISVILLE & NASHVILLE
RAILROAD
Tit tba
Cast and northeast
a Through Flein-r Dally from
Hot HI'rlUKH Ii'
Louisville and Cincinnati
VIA MKMI'IIIH
1-or full Inforroalloo at lo Hatna, Tim
Tabln, tift f plr to ji'ur local atrrnt or
ai.r-
N. B. BAIRD
Trn I'tii. AbI.,1 Itllc Dock, Ark.
ARDMORE AUTOMATIC
STORE GO,
(INCOrtl'OIUTHU
Capital Stock - $50,000.00
Mannfaoturera of ADtuniatto Btorea, On
Oubluet work bf ull kin Ja ami m urjlblnif
In the inanlnK MIIMIue. f vcorr to
Frnluy llron., at tholr old atarnl.
$5, tlO aaJ 120 coupon toofc at
tnl offlo. , .
t

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