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Ardmore, Wedneiday, May 16, 1906.
SIX THE DAILY ARDMOREITE. ODDS rtNO ENDS (c.irher In n Connectl'Ut district f Ih.-oI g-.v one of her iMiplls these two mtcncwi to correct. "TJ Iipii lia three leg." Win ilono It?" Tlu lilt lo fellow lookoil nt his slnto n n.lnule nml thin seriously wrote: Then hen didn't done It. Ood dono It l.lplnrt)tt'H. : In n New KiikIhikI country church tho Kd old ciiitom provnlleil of ells trilmtliifr wilortil oggu to tho chil dren on tftutw Sunday. Tho llttlo onen hnd wnltcil twtlently while tho iliolr miiik tt nntlienis nnd tho Sun dny nehool nuporlntendont lnhorcd IhroiiRh lrtg nddroes, and nnnlly tho minuter announced: "We will iliifc hymn No. 132, '0 Soul, Proclaim Thy iMy.' after which the egg will ho distributed." The late Oenwnl Sdmllelil wan onee ileacrlliltiK In WsnhltiRton a cer tain retreat of cavalry. "I call It a ret real," he MtM. "but I should really call It a rant. In thin retreat the com mntidlnic general a lilt chaflCT toro like the wind along turned to an aid who galloped healdo him nnd anld: Who ara our roar gnnnl7' The alii without ccnglnR for an InMant to ho labor hln nnnlfhK ateed, replied: "Thrwe who have tho worst horeea, elr '-Kanana Clly. Mar. "When I was younger than I am now." anya a lawyer who la atlll Mime what till aide of middle atte. "I had a poult Ion in tho olllce of a man who had a lil reputation. Naturally I felt my reaponilbftlty. It wna plain to me that tho head of tho firm had out lived IiIm uaefidneaa, and I uped to feel aorry lo think what would happen to him lr I efer left htm. Slieor nine nanlmlty made me overlook a lot of thlnga. I waa treateil In that oulce with nil Uic deferenco duo u1T, but I atood It until ouo day somobody wont too far. Then I marched Into the old man's private office and laid down tho law to Mm. I told him I wasn't going to en dure Hiich treatment another day. I w.ih goln,; to quit, that was what I waa going to do, and I was going to quit right then nnd thoro. I unbuTHen cd my mind freely, nnd then I atop ped to Ktve him n chnncc to apologlzo and beg mo not to ruin ltlm by leav ing. Ho dldirt look up from liln donk. Ho Just wild to mo tn a ixvllto mind of way: "'Plonae don't alnm tho door when jrem go out." Exchange " llepreaonlntlvo Chalk of Doaon, of Kiiinm. Ih tho head of n forostry sta tion that give treoa to farmers. In nn nddroaa to n womnu'a con gresH Mr. lleeon anld: "Treoa are like children. In tho be ginning tboy glvo u sa great deal of trouble and worry, but In tho end wo nre very proud of thorn. "Young treoa nre voxatlous. Young children nro vexntloui. 1 know a"man who aat In hla ntudy tho othor nftor noon writing a spooch when Ma llttlo aon called shrilly from the garden: "Papa, impa, look out of tho win dr.w ' "'What n nulannco chlldron are,' grumbled tho man, but noverthelewi, ho put down IiIh pen nnd with' a half anille be advanced to tb owlndow prompt")' and stuck forth hU bond. " 'Well, wnat la li?' aald he. "Tho lmy from a group of youns; stern cnlleil up: " Jimmy Smith wouldn't bellev you bad no bnlr on top of your bead. New York Tribune. The wife of a well known oulclal In WaaliliiKton holds aome novel Idem with reference to the punlthmT!T of ri'fuetory children. Phyalcal cbnstl' inent la nioitt repugnant to this lady' mind, but she baa evolved a unique Myxtcm that baa proved to be not Hucii-atiflll. On one occasion a friend was vl King her when one of the boy bad Kiirrcptltlously appropriated an orange belonging to liU younger brother. Tin misdemeanor wna discovered before the culprit hail disponed of hU spot:. ho tho two youngaters were summer. oil To the judgmont seat. "James," waa tbo stern command of the mothor, "take this seat: and yv.i, Thomas, that one Now, Thomas, glvo .lumen the orange you ha 'e stolon from him." When tho lads Irnd done as they woro onleretl the mothor addoil: "James, I want you to tnlte ,t long as possible to ent thnt oinnge. You, Thomas, are to sit thoro and watch hint oat It. Under no circumstances nro you to leflTo tho room." Harper's Wookly. i n Somo years iigo thoro sit In tho builso of roprosentatlvos as member from Mlssburl n gbnUomai naf.iod Ponton. According to the enntffe jtmn who tells tho story, MY n niton was kn wn us "tho shrew Jest and houA'U est man that the state possosscd at that time." " In his early days at the bar Mr. Con ton bad, It la said, gono to Texas for the purposo of prosecuting a land claim. He lost the suit, but wns so fortunate na to win nn oxlromely handsome Toxns girl, who accompa nied blhi to his Mlaaourl home. At St. Joseph tho coujile woro mot by n cor tain Oenernl Mitchell, a very plain spoken imlltlclnn, to whom Mr. Pon ton Inttoduccd bis brdo. Ho stared at llenton nnd beamed on tho protty bride. Finally be could repross him self no longer, so ho blurted out: "Mrs. llenton ain't thero any men In TexK?" American Spjectntor. "Why. Mr. Knox, ' aald the landlady, to the now iMianlor, "you have lot a piece o fbutter fall In your coffoo." "I did It on Miro4j, Mrs. Hnshor, repllwl the n. b. "I believe Th com pelling the strong to assist the wottlc" Chicago News. v A western railway manager received the following teller from some con-aclonce-Htrlckon unknown who had cx poHenced rellgfotrr "Meestnre Snut: Ket cos wit sorrow I approach boforo you. I stol one ride nn cet has hon ored me talk baall. I got rellchlon now nn so I sen one toeket an' live conta. 1 wish you much Ink. please uxcuso me." Kansas City Star. A FRIGHTENED ACTRESS. Wtirn Mnlllirnn linn Tor llrr I.Uo from Hit I'll Hut. Mnlllriui was an evt-entlonnl woman as well us .i gre.it singer, nn I mIio bud nn Interesting and Himntiin" ns tem perament. Tile ilnnjliter of (inrelo. she b:id n biimli nnd illillcult uuiNter In Iiit own father. When she '.vus sixteen be one day came to her room and without na; l.lipl of preparation mild to her, "You will make your llrst apiiearaiiee wltb mo on Saturday In 'Otellu.' " It gave her exaetly six ilaya for )rei nratlou. The child, terrltled nearly Into Fpcechlcssm, atammcn'd that s'.ie could nut ivunllily do It what be asked was lmios.4lble. Hut Carcla could take no cjiitradlctlou. All bo nutwured was: "You'll make your tlrst appear nnco on Saturday, nnd bo perfect. If not, In the last scene, when I nm sup. posed to plunge my dagger Into your breast, I'll do so In real earnest." The frightened girl had to make the best of It. Iter auccois was absolute. but one little piece of realism In tier noting nt tbo end wns a delicious though entirely unconscious piece of retaliation upon her father for a rather brutal method. Her Dcsilcinoun bad been oxqulslte: she hail made her what alio was hcrNclf, a child, Innocent nnd submissive nnd adoring. Put In tho last act, when Othello strode toward her with uplifted dag ger, la Mnlltirnn, truly frightened out of her wits, ran away from him nnd made for windows nnd doors, frantic ally trying to escape. When her father nt last caught bold of her, so real had tbo whole thing become that, seizing tho hnnd with which ho was supposed to murder her. she bit It till It bled. Garcia gave a cry of pain, which the nudlence took for a cry of rage, and the act ended In denfenlug applnusu for father and daughter. Tlie liiclilciii rcvcnis m .Miiunrnu. She was never, In one si'nso of the word, nn actress nt all. There was no studied counterfeit of emotions, but n woman wltb an extraordinary power of losing herself In the emotions of othors.-T. P.'s Weekly. FORCED TO EAT BOOKS. I fn m tl n llrhiK Win, rr I'liniprllril li llrliiur l.ltrraliirr. Among the cnusus that contribute to the destruction of books, snys an Ital ian writer. Amerlco Scarlatti, there is one very curious oue that may bo called hlhtlophngla. No reference Is Intended to the mice that onco destroyed In Knghtnd nn entire edition of Castell's "Lexicon Iteptaglotton." but to human beings who have literally devoured books. In 1370 Parnabo Vlscontl compelled two paiMil delegates to eat the bull of excommunication which they had brought him. together with Its silken cords nml Icuilcu seal. As the bull was written on parchment, says the Scien tific American, not paper, It was all the more illillcult to digest. A similar anecdote was related by Oelrlcb In bis "Dlssertntlo de Plbllo thecarum et l.lbrorum Put Is" (l"."t) of an Austrian general who bad signed a note for '.'.Otto tlorlns and when It fell due eoniollod bis creditors to eat It. The Tartars, when Itnoks fall Into their possession, cat them that they may acquire tho knowledge contained In them. A Scandinavian writer, the author of a political look, was compelled to chooso between being beheaded or eat lug bis mnnuscrlpt boiled In broth, Isnnc Yolmar, who wrote same splcj satires against Pernnrd, duUo of Sax ony, wns tvrt allowed the courtesy of tbo kitchen! but was forced to swallow them uncooked. Still worse was tho fate of Philip Oldenburger. a Jurist of great renown, who was condemned not only to cat a pamphlet of his writings, but also to 1k flogged during bis repr.st. with or ders that the Hogging should not censo until ho bad swallowed tho last crumb. If you fallod to get our counterpane spoclal last wook, don't bo uneasy, wo will glvo you another chnnco soon. 13-tf NEW STEAM LAUNDHY. LAUNCHING A VESSEL. The Crnrlal .Mumriit tm Wlirn Slir TnUf. (Ik- AVnlrr, That n launch Is a matter of mathe matics, as Will as of great skill and labor, Is shown by the fact thnt the man of science who has the matter In charge always makes a sef of calcula tions showing the strain of the ship uud Its precise condition nt practically every foot of the Journey down the wnys. If a Ixwit should get In the way, or If It should take an unusual length of time to knock out the keel blocks, or If nny otio of half a dozen things should cause serious delay, tho sclen tlllc man Knows Just bow long ho tun wnlt and Just bow far tbo limit of safety extends. There Is nlwnys one supremo mo ment In n launch, and It Is nt n time that escape the nverngo spectator. It Is when the vessel gets fairly well Into tlie water. This Is when nn Important factor known us the "moment of buoy nney" comes Into play. If you -an Imnglne n vessel sliding down nn In cline without any water Into which to drop, you can see that the vessel would tip down suddenly at the end which lias lnft the ways and would rise at the end still on the l-.iellue. Hut really In successful launche the stern of tlie vessel Is gradually lifted up by the water, and this throws the weight for ward on that part of the ship stilt rest ing on the wnys. The force of the water Is called the "moment of buoy ancy," nnd the natural tendency of tho hlilp to drop to the bottom of the stream Is called the "moment of weight." Now, tbo moment of buoy ancy must nlwnys be greater tbnu the moment of weight, but It must not be very much grislier, for If It were It would throw too much weight forward on the part of the ship still on the wnys and might break them down or Injun tho plates or keel of the ship. When the i:ugllsli battleship llnmlllles wns launched, this did really happen, nnd so great was the strain near the bow that parts of the cradle were ac tually pushed right Into the bottom of tbo vessel. It Is this dnuger of disaster that causes the scientific launcher to make the must careful calculations as to the conditions surrounding the ship nt over' foot of her Journey Into the water. POINTED PARAGRAPHS. (ood Intentions rarely survive the headache that actuates them. "When you talk about people be hind their backs, do you give them a squaru deal? You have probably mot tho bore who, no inntter what the attraction, nlwnys recalls a better oue. There Is this much to be said about the men: Somo very lino tlsb have been caught by very Inferior bait. They say a man's disposition Is sure to come out when he's drunk, nnd It Is sure to come out ulso when ho Is buying when tie Is spending tils money. When you meet a man on tho streets nnd feel u desire to tell him n story, shorten It. Don't string it out with long nnd unimportant details. Oct to the point nt once. Atchison Globe. Tlinmlnu 31 ml. Unless words without meaning nre used n person's vocabulary must In bounded by bis knowledge. Mnny years ngo I was teaching a class of poor children Iti tho school connected with tbo Church of St. Paul's. Covcnt Garden. One day I exhibited a picture of u baytlctd with men carting hay. I asked the children what the men were throwing .up Into tho cart. They answered, without n moment's hesita tion, "Mud!" It then occurred to me for the tlrst time that theso children had never seen u bnytleld or tbo enrt Ing of bay, but the scavenger's cart, carting mud, they were quite familiar with, and hence they spoko within their knowledge. London Notes nnd Que ries. Tht. Word "Tnr," Why Is the word "tar" u synonym for "sailor?" Somo dictionaries say that the allusion Is to the seaman's tarry lunula nnd clothes the "savour of tar" of Stepbauo's song In "Tbo Tempest." Hums uses "tnrrybrecks" as equivalent to "sailor." Put It Is re garded as much more probable that "tar" Is short for "tarpaulin." since Clarendon nml other writers colloquial ly use "tarpaulin" to signify a seaman. Of course, this ultimately gets back to tar. a tarpaulin being a tarred "pall lug," or covering (tho samo word ns "pall"). Snrc nf HU Cliolr. A peppery Now Pnglniid parson who wns disturbed by his choir during prayer time got oven with them when 1 bo gave out bis closing hymn by add- ! Ini. 'l lintui llli, mitlrn emiirt-.vrtittnil will Join III singing their grand old livinn ntwl I knmv the elinlr will, for I I i . At. i . n. ileum iucui iiuiiiunug u uuriug uiu prayer." A Cnrlo. Peggy I'rnppe Yes, I met tbo chawmlng Miss Plashor when she wns on tier tour, and she naked mo for my picture, weally. Miss Tabasco Yes, I beard her say she was collecting pic tures of all the curious objects blio rim across lu this country. Chicago News. Thu Kirrptlona, Mrs. White And do you menu to sny that you and your biulmnd always ngrco nliout everything? Mrs. Plack Always except, of course, now nnd then, when he's out of humor or pig headed, or something of that sort. I.oudou Answers. llo Wai Ciooil. Miss Askhnm-And do you paint nothing but nnlmnl pictures every day? Mr. D'Auber Well, on Fridays I paint fisu.-CIcvcluud Leader. VIBRATION. Onmpln of tta AVonilrrfal IVmrr nml I'rnplritlliin. The wonderful force of vibration Is recognized In all Its pjwer by few nrchltects and builders. It would amuse them If they were told that tho most solidly built of their wntls would be Injured by the continuous scraping of n bow across u violin. Of course It would take yeifYs of plnylug to loosen masonry and render Iron brittle, but thero nre facts on record which show that such a result has occurred. On n first class Imttleshlp a man may feel the vibrations of a violin though ho may not bo nblo H hear the u.Tblc. It Is the regularity of the vibrations which tells. The player I not ulTectod by them, for he Is a tlexlblo object and can give wny to motion. Kvery one knows that n squad of soldiers or nny body of marching men break step lu crossing n bridge, no mutter what Its size and strength mny be. for none could withstand the vibra tions of this concerted notion. Kven the trend of a dog may mnke a bridge shake becaue of the regularity of tbo vibration, so thnt on many of the Lig suspension bridges dogs nro not nl lowisl unless carried In tho nrms of their owners A good Illustration of the power of vibration can be found In tho Orccn wlch observatory. It stands on the top of n hill on wbo.o slopes hundreds of children play on flue evenings. Their favorite play Is tn Join hands nt the top and dash headlong to the bottom, where they fall lu n heap. This starts the vibration of tbo bill to such nn ex tent thnt the scientists of the observa tory nre unable to carry on their ob servations, which depend upon the mo tionless state of a tray of mercury. The solid hill Is lu such a state of tre mor that the vibrations continue till long past midnight, when the children who bnvo caused It have been nslcop for hours, A still more wonderful Illustration of vibration Is lu the human throat. S'x ty vibrations per second Is the least number by means of which n ssnnil can be produced. This Is n sound nev er used lu spenkliig. but Is found In men's voices lu nu extremely low reg Ister. Tbo highest sound produced by the human voice that Is, 12 In nltlsslmo Is caused by 1,021 vibrations per sec ond. This, too. Is exceptional, being only obtainable In the highly cultivated female or boy voices. It Is simply the vocnl chords which vibrate, not the throat. In the lower notes the whole length nnd thickness of tho vocnl chords nro used, tho thin edges being employed for tho highest ones. Thus In spenklng for n minute or two thero Is sufllclent vibration en gendered In ttic throat, wero Its walls of a solid nature Instead of soft nnd flexible, to shatter and destroy It. Kv ery minute wo spenk the vocal chords vibrato from 20.000 to 10,000 times. New York Herald. Wnmrn'a I.ovo of I'pjlr Men, Tlie Illustrious men In history who were distinguished ns much for tho fascination which they exercised over tho fair sex ns for their talents and ability were, as n rule, plain nnd In significant In appearance. Julius Cae sar was a very III favored man, nnd yet when a mero stripling, before bis fame lu Pome, girls of tils own ngo sighed for him nnd mnture women longed for his love. Among tho men of Inter times who wero renowned In like manner wero Sir Philip Sidney, plain nlmost to ugliness; Paul Scarron, tho comic poet, n cripple; Yoltnlre, unmis takably ugly, uud Pousseau, whoso manners wero awkward as bis face was plain, while John Wilkes, who had tbo power to subjugate any woman who spoko to him for oven live min utes, wns admitted by his own show ing to bo tho ugliest man In Kuglanu lu his time. Strain Rnnlnra, The steam cugluo goes back to Hero of Alexandria, lu the third century P. C. Prnncn, nn Italian, lu 1020, made an engine which blew steam against vanes and thus made n wheel spin, Tho llrst actual steaia engine was inndo by Captain Savoy, nn Pngllsh man, to whom, In 1C0S, n patent was granted for a steam engine to raise water. Ill 1703 Thomns Newcomer made a vacuum steam engine. Put the steam engine of today, which has wrought such a tremendous evolution lu Industry and society, was the In vcutlou of the Ihigllslunnn James Watt, nnd tho llrst patent bears date of Juno 0, 1700. Scrnpbook. Ilrr Tinner. A West Philadelphia family was nt supper oue night, talking nbout tho eu gngement of ono of tho daughters, whoso wedding was soon to be. Tho negro servnnt, who acted ns waitress, laundress, etc., had Just brought Into tho dining room the dessert, when nna of tho girls nsked, "Virginia, have you scon tMlth's tlancej" "Laws! I donn know, liouey," she replied. "Hit nln't been lu de wnsh y It." Ill Crump. "I have been suffering much of late,' be said, "wltb writer's pramn." And smiling wanly, ho tightened his belt two notes, "Here Is wtiere It usually takes mo,' be explained, patting his concave atom ach.-St. Units Glolio-Dcmocrnt. On the Sufi- fllu. Student Then bow much does the suit come to for cash? Tailor Fifty marks. Stiylent- Aud if paid for by Installments? Tailor A hundred marks only In thnt caso yon will havo to pay half down. From tho dormim. Whcro nooosslty ends curiosity be gins, and no sooner ure wo supplied with ovcrytling that naturo can ue in a ml thnn tvo sit down to coutrlvo ar tltlcJul appetites. Johnson. ELKS meet in DENVER IN JULY RATE ONE FARE for tht ROUND TRIP Selling July 13-14-15. Limit Aug. 20 VIA The Ardmoreite. jB (vnccuiiiutimiuo.H Prints All the NEWS. All the Time You Can Surely Afford n week's recreation yearly. This means to you a well physical being plus added 'energy plus a good clear brain which in all is Health, Wealth and Wisdom 5T The Sign of Privato Cafo Cars serving meals a la Carto. Tho finest meals r.nd sorvico in the land for tho smallest cost. Max imum seat rneo in theso cars botweon any point ih Toxas la flfty cnta a dajr.RI'ullnun'slateit Maodaril leepers anil clean opto date chatricara and coachea from Waco, Coralcana, Ft. Worth, Dalian, (Ireenrllle, Tyler and Intermediate rolnta tuTexarkana, Tine IllutT, Htottirart, rarairould, Memphis and Halnt. Loula SF READERS FOR Fill INFORMATION REOAHG LOW RATES D. M. MORGAN. Traveling Passenger Agent, Ft. Worth, Texaa. JOHN F. LEHANE. Gen. Freight and Pais. Agent Tyler, Texai. SUMMER THIS SUMMER IN COLORADO Many people put aside all thought of an outing in Colorado because they are accustomed to consider this greatest of American playgrounds as one of those impossible things beyond their means. Time was when a visit to tlie "top of the Continent" was a great luxury, as high in price as in altitude, but not so today. You can spond tho Summor pr a part of the , Summer In Colorado and live as reasonably as you do at home, and tho quick sorvico and low tourist nnd excursion rates afforded via Rock Island lines bring tho Rockies with in your easy reach. For further information ask Snnta Pe Agent or address W. S. KEENAN, G. P. A., G.C. a S.F. GALVESTON. LEADER FLOUR The .World's Standard TYLER & SIMPSON COMPANY Wholesale Distributors, ARDMORE, I. T. Good Service1 GUS HOOVER. Traveling Passenger Agent. Waco, Txas. R. C. FYFE, Asst. Oen. Frt. ft Pass. Agent Tjler, TexAi. t t Our Booklets and, Folders give the whole story; write today. CEO, II. LEE, J. S. McNALLYi Gen. Pan Arft. Dlv.JP. Agt, Little RocH. ArH, 0U!a. City