Jamestown weekly alert. [volume], July 29, 1886, Image 2

About Jamestown weekly alert. [volume] (Jamestown, Stutsman County, D.T. [N.D.]) 1882-1925

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XX CHURCH.
"Wliftt worship ye?" the preacher said
The reiit I did not hear,
But round the room I looked instead,
At thin arid that so reverent head,
All saint-tike and austere.
"What do you worship now?" I thought,
And fancy straight the question caught,
And strange sights did appear.
All veils were dropped, and cleat to view
All hearts were open thrown
A shame it were to whisper you
What then I saw il all were true
'Twer* better all unknown
Such he rts none ever saw before,
But all at once I looked no more—
A la, I saw my own!
•-Bradford Terry in the Sunday School
fin.
A MYTHICAL MONSTER.
About four years ago I became the
husband of a very charming girl in one
of our eastern seaboard cities. In my
marriage with Mabel Lane all the con­
ventionalities were fulfilled. She was
a few years my junior—modest, do
mestic—and this, I sincerely believe her
first attachment. 'Even our complex
ions presented the proper extremes,
ahe being a perfect blonde and I dark
brunette. I loved her sincerely,
"was in comfortable circumstances,
and
•on our wedding-day I saw no reason
"why our married life should not be
^bathed in perennial sunshine.
Such would probably have been
'the case had it not been for
an unfortunate defect in my dis
position. I may as well state here
that before our marriage I had de­
moted myself pretty largely to that
-agricultural pursuit known as sowing
-wild oats. I cannot say thit I was
vicious, but I loved the company of
'•good fellows. Late hours had a pe­
culiar fascination for me, and the pop
of a champange cork fired me as the re­
port of a cannon is said to thrill a
war-horse. These things, which were
never counted more than 'wildness' in
a single man, I suddenly found became
heinous vices and utter depravity in a
married one. Like many another I
had difficulty in adjusting myseli to
the changed condition of affairs, and
there the trouble began.
So it was that after spending all my
evenings faithfully at home for a
month I began to drift back into the
old routine and pleaded an increase of
business to Mable as an excuse for later
hours. Idid this gradually. Now and
then qualms of conscience would con
•quer force ot habit, and I would be en­
tirely domestic and devoted for several
days at a time. Then I would back­
slide and come home at 1. It was
not that my affection for my wife di­
minished. On the contrary, it in­
creased. I was never so happy as
when in her company, but I think it
must have been a strain of old Bohe­
mia in my veins that drew me with a
subtle force back to the boys.
All this, though, was as nothing
compared to the actual downfall that
began one night in earnest. I recall it
shudderingly, hesitatingly. As I en­
tered our gate an unusual light warned
me that Mabel waited for me, ar.d I
shut my lips tight with annoyance
and contrition as I look at my watch
and saw it was after 12. I found her
in tears. ''0, Frank!" she sobbed, "I
am very unhappy!"
"Not unhappy with me, are you,
Mable?" I asked.
"No, no" she said, "but unhappy
because I am without you so much.
I am sure it can not be business that
keeps you out at these awful hours.
O, Frank, tell me, what was it kept
-you so late?"
"Well. Mabel," I answered, feeling it
auseless to resort to the old stor-\
"the fact is I met afriend of mine wl
-is something of a bore, and he held
me in conversation for a couple of
jhours."
"Who was he?"
"Bancroft," I said desperately, using
the first name that came into my
'mind, "a fellow named George Ban
*croft."
"What does he do!"
IHt that I was in for it and told
Iter he was the accountant at Reed's
tea-store. There were a few more
tears, but her suspicions were lulled
and peace was declared. I went to
sleep, I blush to say it, with a sort of
guilty satisfaction that I had done a
•smart thing. Little did I dream of the
^precipice on which I was treading.
A few nights afterwards, when I was
late again, Mabel met me with the in­
quiry: "I suppose you were out with
that Bancroft?"
"Yes, dear," I replied, catching at
the straw, "Bancroft is a pretty good
fellow after all, Mabel. He has a
scheme on foot for some real-estate
investments, and we were talking it
over."
"What, has he money?"' she said in
surprise. "Then.he must be of a sav­
ing disposition. Perhaps he is a bet­
ter man than I thought. Tell me
something about him Frank. Where
does he live?"
"He has a room at—at -20 Staun­
ton place No. 12, I believe."
choose Staunton place upon the in
spiration of the moment because it
was a long distance from where we
lived and consisted of only two short
blocks, so I was quite sure Mabel
would never find or penetrate them
To my great relief she did not pursue
her investigations further, but threw
me into consternation at the table
next day by looking at me wistfully
and saying:
"Frank, I am quite curious about
KirlikeIyou?"giving
friend, Mr. Bancroft. Does he
"No," said, my imagination
rein, "be is shorter and of light com
plexion."
"Does hs wear a beard?"
"Yes, a full beard, cropped close."
"What color are his eyes?"
foul fiend prompted me to sad
tn wms cross eyed, and that one organ
was blue and onegray.
"How very singular," said Mabel
with growing interest. "I should like
la ms
him. Tell me about his real es­
tate scheme."
I bit that & I hesitated I was lost,
•nd lg i'Ml down my knife and fork, I
entedH into a detailed account of a
•eries of fictitious investments con
templated by Bancroft and myself. I
did not
wgioally intend to go so deep,
her questions drew me out, and
Bach successive step was necessary for
preservation. As I walked out of the
•tMut pate I lelt like aeonvictedfellow.
IIomtw, the mythical Bancroft was,
,v
tmw
a convenient personage, and I conclud­
ed that, now that I had invented him
and put my foot in it, so to speak, I
might as well use him to
all possible advantage. Consequently
Bancroft was pleaded night after night
with success, although the continued
questioning of my wife involved me in
a tissue of falsehood so monstrous
that I was afraid to contemplate it.
About this time I became alarmed
lest she should visit his supposed place
of business to read him a lecture up­
on his habits, and told her he had left
Reed's and gone to an up-town store.
This necessitated going into all the de­
tails as to why he left, which I gave
shamelessly. My conscience was in
such a condition by that time that I
was less troubled over my fabrication
of complicated lies than I was that I
should cross myself in some oi them.
How intricate, how manifold and
multiplied they were can be imagined
when I say that at the end of two
years Mabel was still unsuspicious.
She had however,
conceived a violent
dislike, growing into an utter abhor­
rence, of the man. This was engender­
ed by a peculiar turn which the fiction
happened to take. One night the first
pencilings of dawn were showing in the
skies when 1 returned home. I had
not intended to stay so late. I real­
ized with a sudden and humiliatine
force that I was a brute to leave a
young girl alone, unprotected, anxious
and afraid through the long night. I
felt ashamed, mortified, and above
all alarmed for I was well aware
a scene awaited me. With beating
heart I entered the house. Mabel was
in bed, and turned her head slightly
without looking at me or speaking. 1
felt intuitively that she was crying.
At that instant, any plan, any lie, no
matter how black, that would have
relieved the poor girl's distress would
have seemed noble to me. So it was
with no pang of conscience that I sank
into a chair and exclaimed in a hol­
low voice: "0, Mabel, if you had
seen what I have seen you would be
sick at heart."
"What was it, Frank?" she asked
with instant curiosity, sitting up in
bed.
This was the effect I had calculated
upon, and for a moment I said noth­
ing,as if too much overcome to speak.
Then in a low tone I continued:
"Bancroft is in jail?"
"0, Frank!" she cried, her eyes sud­
denly dilating, what has he done!"
Again I was overcome with emotion
I had to have time to think.
"You know how Bancroft is when
he is drinking," I said, finally.
"Yes," she replied, eagerly, "very
quarrelsome."
Exactly. Well, we were playing a
game of billards last night. I hadn't
noticed that he was under the influence
of liquor, but he got into a dispute
with a clergyman, who was a perfect
stranger, and took his billiard cue
and
"Killed the minister!" shrieked Ma­
bel.
"No, thrust it down his throat and
broke it off!"
Mabel stopped her ears and Ipaused
for breath.
"Of course," I went on, "he was ar­
rested and I went out to get bail for
him."
"What business is that of yours!"
asked Mabel, sharply.
"For your sake, dear," I replied.
"Although no party to the affair I
realized how the linking of my name
with it would pain and mortify my
little girl, so I determined to sink
my pride and ask some of my friends
to go on Bancroft's bond to hush the
matter up."
"You dear, old darling," said Mabel,
impetuously, "can you forgive me?"
1 forgave her, and, assuming the
mein of a martyr, went to bed. From
that moment, however, she regarded
Bancroit as my bad angel, and hated
him with all the cordiality of indig­
nant womanhood.
Meantime Bancroft had commenced
to haunt me. From being a naturally
frank and open disposition, I became
preternaturally vigilant and alert,
fearful each instant that I would
betray myself and realizing that each
day put me further from the possibili­
ty of an explanation. I grew pre-oc
cupied, moody, morose. My nerves,
quivering under the tension, were giv­
ing way. I looked scared and guilty.
The very name of Bancroft was hate­
ful to me, and when my wife harped
upon him I felt that I should go mad
if I did not get away. He had become
astonishingly real to me, and I felt my
personality becoming mixed and
meshed with this myth—this man of
air and nothingness—in a manner that
upset all my previous notions of iden­
tity. I almo it believed that I had ac­
tually met Bancroft at some time,
or that I was living a dual existence.
In short, I was on the verge of lunacy
when the climax came.
One evening when went home to
supper in my usual perturbed state of
mind there was a strange man at my
gate. He had a keen, hatchet face,
and wore a slouch hat.
"Mr. Frank N. Styne, I believe."
"Yes, sir."
"I am a member of the city detec­
tive fotce. The chief wants to see you
at his office."
"All right," I gasped, my brain in a
whirl. "Wait till I go in and see my
wife.
"Your wife is at the office,"* he re­
plied with a peculiar smile.
Shocked and alarmed beyond ex­
pression, I plied him with questions,
but he insisted that he knew nothing
of "the case," as he called it, and hur­
ried me along. The fact that I had
not the slightest idea what Mabel
could be doing at the police headquar­
ters redoublea my fears.
The chief's office was approached by
a series of passageways, at the end of
of one which I saw,as in a field-glass,a
room in which were seated my wife
and a stout gentleman in uniform,
whom I knew by sight and reputation.
Mabel did not seem frightened, but
was very pale and wore a determined
look.
"Mabel!" I cried, as I rushed in,
what does this mean?"
"Your wife," interposed the chief,
blandly, "states that you are ac­
quainted with the occupant of room
12, No. 20 Staunton place. Is such
the fact?"
"What about it?" I asked, appre­
ciating the necessity of gaining some
more information before committing
myself.
"Have you seen theeveningpapers?
"No."
"Then," said the chief, "I will tell
you frankly what I want, for-1 believe
you to be a man of reputation. The
occupant of room 10, No. 20 Staun­
ton place, was mittdered last night,
and the occupant of room 12 is sus­
pected. We could not find oirtwho
that individual was, but your wife has
been kind enough to inform us that it
is a party named Bancroft, afriend of
yours. We want Bancroft. When
and where did you see him last?"
I felt the ground suddenly slipping
from under my feet. The whole hor­
ror of my situation flashed upon me.
Mabel spoke up "Frank," she said
"when 1 saw that number in the paper
this afternoon I knew that it was
Bancroft. I could not keep silent aft­
er such a dreadful thing, and I felt
that this was perhaps the way open
to break your connection with tnat
wretch. So I put on my things and
came down here. It was for both our
sakes. 0, Frank, tell the gentleman
all you know of that man and let ua
at least get our skirts clear of this aw­
ful crime."
The chief looked at me fixedly. Un­
der certain circumstances a man's
brain will work like lightning. In an
instant I had formulated a plan.
"Have you a private room?" 1
asked.
"Yes," he replied, "come this way."
"Wait here, I said to Mabel "do
not be alarmed I will tell him all."
When the chief closed the door ol
the inner room I said to him very
calmly:
There is no such man as Bancroft
He is a mere creation of my pool
wife's fancy," I said.
"Explain yourself."
"I will. If you will make the most
trifling inquiries you will find that no
such person as Bancroft ever existed.
Did she tell you he used to work in
Reed's tea store?"
"Yes, I believe she did."
"Well, inquire at Reed's ar.d you
will learn that he never had such a
man in his employ. The fact is, ms
wife exhibits at times certain signs o:
aberration. This imaginary mac
Bancroft is the most noticeable one
I had hoped, sir, to keep this secret
locked forever in my own breast, but
these circumstances force me, of course,
to make a confession of it to you. 1
trust, as a gentleman, you will not be­
tray this melancholy confidence. My
physician has warned me not to dis­
turb the hallucination, else I would
have warned you in the other room.
I suppose 3he told you, among other
things, that Bancroft once thrust a
billiard cue down a clergyman's
throat."
"Yes, she did say something about
that?"
"Well, how preposterous that is! Do
you want further prool? What would
a clergyman be doing around a billiard
saloon?"
The chief was convinced. "I noticed
something queer about her eye," h«
said, grasping my hand sympatheti­
cally. "Depend upon me to keep
mum."
Mabel was anxiously waiting our
coming.
"It is all right, Mrs. Styne," saidthf
chief. "Your husband has told me
every thing and you can go now. I'm
much oblidged to you."
She cried a little on the way home
and wanted to be sure I was not ang­
ry. "Where has that monstergone?"
she asked.
"He has fled," I replied, "and will
never bother U9 again."
And he never has.—Chicago Tribune.
Politeness of the Indians.
American Missionary.
Some Indian schoolboys found theii
teacher had a very great aversion to
frogs. To them it was a continual
source of amusement to see her run
away from them. One day a boy
caught one and shut it up in the table
drawer. The teacher entered the
room. All were in order, but when
she opened the drawer the frog, glad
to gain its liberty, leaped out upon
the table and the teacher made a great
ado. One of the boys, in a gentleman­
ly way, took up the frog, carried it to
the door and threw it out. No
sign of enjoyment could be
discerned in their faces. They
remained through school hours
maintaining their solemn dignity.
Afterward as they told of
laughed until the tears came,
ever and over again as they
bered the dismay of the teacher. Why
did thev not laugh at first? They had
not yet come into the ways of the
white men enough to realize that we
would excuse rudeness in our pupils,
even under these circumstances, and
they consider it rude to laugh aloud
or to laugh at all at the expense ot
another in the other's presence.
A
1
it they
laughed
remera-
An old woman, who owned a poor
old pony which was almost dead from
starvation and hard work, had
brought the pony in and tied him to
the fence. He was literally "skin and
bones." While I was in the house I
heard the woman making a great out­
cry, and I ran to the door in time to
see an immense flock of crows fly
away. I said: "What is the matter?"
She replied that the crows had come
to pick her poor old pony's bones
while he still lived. She saw the funny
side of it as well as land laughed very
heartily.
When one of the young lady mis­
sionaries asked an Indian woman for
her "waka pica tanka," instead of her
"wasica tanka," no one langhed till
the teacher was gone. When I inquired
why th3 dishpan was not given, there
ply was, she did not ask for the dish
pan she asked for "the great evil spir­
it" (the devil), and I assure you no
Indian woman heard that story with­
out laughing heartily. Another teach­
er, meaning to ask for a tub, asked for
a young man, and, though to her face
they did not laugh, 1 have seen a whole
sewing school convulsed with laughter
over the mistake several times since.
When one of the ministers trom the
east attending one of our meetings
went up to a group of Indians who
could not speak or understand a
word of English, and tried to enter
into conversation, of course there was
no response. He said to me as I came
up: "Why do they look so solemn?"
I simplv interpreted whathesaidto
the Indians, and all laughed and said:
"We did not know what he said, why
should we laugh?" It does not seem
to occur to those asking the question,
why they do not laugh, that they
have little to laugh at in the presence
of white men. They cannot under­
stand us or our ways. Indian
children are in the he use
quiet and orderly, they sit and
listen to hear older people talk, and il
anything is said that is very amusing,
so much so that they feel that they
cannot control themselves, they put
their hands on their mouths and run
outside to laugh. Men will laugh
gently and quietly, and now and then
you may hear an old woman laugh
long and loud if so, some relative will
say aside. "Hear how loud she laughs,
like a white man she is unwomanly."
They are very sociable people, ami
around the camp-fire one may hear
many legends and fables, hear many
old war songs and nursery rhymes.
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Positions in Sleep.
New York Journal.
"It is quite interesting to go through
a large hospital at night when most of
the patients are sleeping and note the
variety of positions in which they let
'balmy sleep knit up the ragged sleeve
of care," said a noted physician the
other day.
"What is considered the most health­
ful position?" "Well, I should say that
a really healthy person does not keep
one position all night. He rests first
on one side, then on the other, and
probably sleeps on his back and in
modifications of these positions. Many
physicians say it injures the liver to
sleep constantly on the right side, is
bad for the heart to sleep on the left
side, and most people have the night­
mare or sleep too heavily if they rest
on the back/'
It has been considered the most po­
etical to sleep on the side, with one
hand placed under the chcek, but re­
cently it has come that such a posi­
tion makes the face wrinkled, and so
all pretty girls have given up the cus­
tom. Another pretty position is to
throw the arms carelessly over the
head, and many fall naturally into the
habit, but it has been found that sleep­
ing constantly with the hands over tho
head throws the lungs into an unnat­
ural position and eventually weakens
them.
A fond mother, having a pretty
daughter who has fallen' into this
3rror, bind's the latter's arms to her
waist with pale blue silk elastic every
ivening, and hopes in time to cure her
af the dangerous habit.
"In the days when I was a baby,"
said an old gentleman speaking on the
subject, "my nurse never allowed me
the freedom of my crib as children
nowadays. I was put to sleep on a
hard mattress without a pillow and
my shoulders and heels were fastened
bo a strip of stiff linen, running the
ength of the bed, so that my back
would be flat and straight."
Some people have a curious habit
of sleeping with their knees almost up
to the chin, while others stretch out
iull length. Both positions are not
considered the best by physicians.
"Take a healthy child of four or five,
ind when he is sound asleep study his
ittitude and you will find it the most
natural and comfortable,"saidalittle
mother who has several children.
"They will rest partly onthebackand
partly on the side. The hands will fall
carelessly at the sides and the whole
body will curve slightly."
"I remember," he continued, "when
a child that 1 had a bad habit of
sleeping curled up like a ball, but 1
was cured of the habit by roy brother.
'Why Sis, if you were to die in that
position, we never could get you into
a decent coffin you'd have to be buried
in a cheese-box!' he said. The horror
of a chcese-box coffin effected an in­
stant cure."
At the military school in Paris the
students are ordered to sleep on the
right side, and at West Point thesame
rule is in force.
How to be a Magnetic GirL.
From the New York World.
"Do you remember the cane-test? A
man takes the article and hold's-it be­
fore him at arms length with a hand
tightly gripping each end of it, and en­
deavors to stand still after I have
placer! my hand gently upon: it. Let
us try it. Take tho stick.
I did so, bracing myself as rigidly as
an iron bar. The young woman laid
the palm cf one white hand lightly
upon the rod, and after a moment I
felt my self swaying to and fro, then
jerked violently forward, thrown back
and yanked promiscuously about the
apartment until I was entirely out of
breath and began to feel very red in:
the face. I sat down puffing and
panting, while my fair hostess giggled
gleefully. The thing was as great a
mystery to me as ever, and I confess­
ed the fact so soon as I had recovered
sufficient breath to express myself ini
words.
"It isvery simple"laughed my friend1..
"I may have accomplished it by
means of magnetism, but I will show
you how to do it without. Take the
cane and brace yourself again. You
see you are in a perfectly rigid posi­
tion, with every muscle strained to its
utmost tension. Consequently the
slightest pressure from me upon the
3tick, whether that pressure be mag­
netic or not, is bound to throw you
Dff your equilibrium. Now I place my
Dpen palm upon the article, and I
need only use theslightest pressure to
move you. Do you see? To demon­
strate how simple the thing is, let
me give you an additional point.
When yoti feel the pressure is about to
sway you, relax your muscles. When
the pressure propels you backward, let
your arms give in the direction of the
movement. When the pressure is. for­
ward, avail yourself of the same-pre­
caution. In other words, instead of
bracing yourself firmly, remain peir
fectly limp, and then I think it will re­
quire supernatural force to move
you."
Again we essayed the feat, I closely
followed the young woman's- instruc­
tions. This time victory wa» oa my
side, and I stood abashed at the sim­
ple explanation of a feat which some
time ago had seemed sufficiently ex­
traordinary to call forth letters of in­
quiry from some of the most scientific
minds in America.
A Substitute for Cent.
Insomeofthe treeless ist ricts of the
West the difficulty of obtaining fuel is
very great, and many substitutes for
wood and coal have been used during
the long and severe winters. A corre­
spondent of a Wyoming paper gives his
experience with sunflowers for this pur­
pose as follows: "I grow one acre of
them every year, and plenty erf fuel for
one stove the whole year round, and
use some in the other stove
besides. I
plant them in hills the same as corn
(only threeseeds to the hill) and culti­
vate the same as corn. I cut them
when the leader or top flower is ripe,
letting them lie on the ground two or
three days. In that tinse I cut off all
the seed heads, which are put into an
open shed with a floor in it, the same
as acorn crib. The stalks are then
hauled home and packed in a common
shed with a good roof on it. When cut
in the right time the stalks, when dry,
are hard as oak, and make a good, hot
fire, while the seed heads with the seed
in, make
abetter fire than the best hard
coal. The seed, being very rich in oil,
will burn better and longer, bushet for
bushel, than hard coal. The sunflower
is very hard on land. The piece of
ground selected to plant on should be
highly enriched with manures. In the
greater steppes (prairie) region in the
interior of Russia and in Tartary,
where the winters are more severe than
in Dakota, the sunflowers are, and
have been tor centuries past, the only
kind of fuel used."—Cincinnati Price
Current.
SLUGGER SULLIVAN.
WhatMiikos His Heart Ache—Ills Skij
Trainer.
New York Letter to San Fraucisco Argo­
naut.
There is somethingattractive about
Sullivan's style despite his toughness
and haughty contempt for the rules ol
English grammar. He was in town a
few nights ago with. Pat Sheedy, his
manager, and he received the homage
of the town with his customary seren­
ity. Only one thing annoyed him, and
that was the allegation in a morning
paper that he was afraid of Mitchell
on account of a superstition that had
haunted him ever since the English­
man got in a knock-down blow on
him at Madison Square Garden
three or four years ago.
"What makes my heart ache," said
the mighty slugger, looking me very
hard in the eye, "is d' way d' public
goes on about that little mill. Did I
bes' Mitchell, or d'n I? I done him
brown an' licked 'im till d' perlice
stopped d' tight. Whad den? Every
udder chump in d' hull country goes
on makin' remarks 'bout Mitchell
doin' me up. Whad's the bes.' test of
a straight fighter?—the hull uv th' gate
money to go to th' winner, ain't dat
so? If man is sure he kin win' won'
he fight fur d' hull prize and take d'
chances on all or nothin'? Uv course.
We'll. I'll fight any man in d' world on
dem conditions. I don't care whad'a
his color, his size, ot his weight—I'll
give him every advantage and fight fur
d' hull receipts er a blank. Kin yo'
find a man on de tace of d' earth
that'll do the same wid me? Nix. The
man don*'live what'll take d'chances."
Here the champion leaned back and
stared harder yet. His argument was
conclusive and lie knew it. After a
short pause he shook his big hand to
emphasize his words, and continued:
"Mitchell's good man and a plucky
one, but- y' kin betcher life he don'
come here an' spar me, the winners
to take d' hull gate-money. Not he.
He gits his percentage, win or lose in
d' match, on July flffc', orelse he won'
come. An" yit he has d' nerve to go
on talkin' 'bout my bein' afraid uv
him! It makes me sore in my heart,
dat's what it does."
Mr. Pat Sheedy has, and always
has had, a remarkable influence over
Sullivan. Sheedy is a gambler by oc­
cupation, and his worst enemy will
admit thai he's as square as a die.
The story goes that Sullivan once
made a feint to strike Sheedy during
the one and only dispute they ever
had. As the champion drew back his
fist, the smooth-faced and unemotion­
al gambler leaned forward until his
face was within, half afoot of the an­
gry pugilist.
"I don't fight that way, John," he
said, quietly. "When 1 make up my
mind to fight you, you're gone. You
kno iv me. never run a bluff, but
this is a fair warning,, and the only
one you'll ever receive.""
Sullivan looked into the eye of the
man about whom so many stories of
extraordinary nerve and quickness
are recorded, now dropped his hand.
They get along capitally now.
A Venerable Clmrch.
An El Paso, Tex., paper says of the
the old Mexican towr. across the Rio
Grande:
In Paso del Norto there is a cathe­
dral 325 years old, buiLt by Spanish
Jesuits. It is not that the general
plan is elaborate on the contrary it
is one of beautiful appropriateness
and simplicity—offering in this respect
a lesson to the moderns. The wails
are of adobe, plain and straight and
neither the walls nor the massive tim­
bers are any the worse for their three
centuries of wear. But the heavy wood­
work everywhere is beautifully carved.
In the cathedral are records of great
historic value, reaching back hundreds
of years. Some of the decorations
and religious emblems are presents
from the monarchs oi spain. Tne old
church is well worth a visit from any
tourist, particularly the student of
art and nistory. But to a tourist
who has never ween a Mexican town I
it is not the only object of interest by
any means. There ar« the quaint
streets of ancient adobe houses, with
dark-eyed senoritas peeping from the
windows—when there are any—or
through the cracks of tlaedoors. Some
of the senoritas are very handsome,
and not averse to a- little harmless
flirtation with the fair-haired son of
the North. They listen with charm­
ing attention while he says fine things
in a tongue they do not understand.
The town of Paso del Norte has a pop­
ulation of about 7,000—pretty fair
for a Mexican town. But thirty
years ago it was a city of 30,000
souls. "A thriving city," we should
have called it in the United States.
What has become of the large popula­
tion no one can tell.. They have fold­
ed their tents like the Arabs, and si­
lently stolen away..
An Outburst of Oratory..
From the Salt La^ke- Tribune.
Old Colonel Zeil, at the time when
Grant was up. for the presidency, and
when the Democratic watchword was
"Anything to. beat Grant," was ad~
dressing an enthusiastic meeting of
Comstock Republicans, when a Dem*
ocrat, who was "hanging on to the
verge of the crowd," sang out: "It's.
easy talkin', Colonel, but we'll show
you something next Fall." The Col­
onel was a Southern Union man
of the- ultra school, and a
admirer of Grant. Hs at onoe
wheeled about, and with up­
lifted hands, hair bristldng and eyes
flashing fire cried out: "Build a worm
fence round a winter supply of Sum­
mer weather, skim thoclouds from the
sky with a teaspoon catch a thunder
bolt in a bladder break a hurri­
cane to harness (ground sluice an
earthquake bake hill in a& icehouse
lassoo an avalanche fix a clout on the
crater ot an active? volcano hive all
the stars in a nail keg hang out the
ocean on a grapevine to dry put the
sky to soak on a gourd unbuckle the
belly-band of eternity, and paste To
Let' on the sun and moon, bat never,
sir—never for a moment delude your­
self with the idea that you can beat
Grant!"
The number of iron furnaces in blast
in the United States June 1 was 308»
with a weekly capacity of 119,770
tons. This is a larger output than
ever before known during the same
period.
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A Deserter's Fate.
An old resident of Nashville relates
this romance to a writer in the Nash
ville American: "In the town of Lin­
coln, 111., before the war, there resided
a, young man named J. J. Searight,
who for sometime engaged in the gro­
cery and provision business in part­
nership with William B. Harlow, un­
der the firm name of Harlow & Sea
right. It was one of the largest, and
wealthiest firms in that section, and
the members thereof were both popu­
lar leaders in the social and political
circles of their country. When the
war broke out both partners decided
on volunteering in the Union army,
but as Harlow was a man ot family,
a mutual compromise was affected,
and Searight alone donned the garb
of asoldier. He enlisted in acompany
forming in Logan county for the Thir­
ty-second Regiment of Illinois infantry,
and received a lieutenant's commis­
sion. Generally esteemed an excel­
lent officer, he seemed to have a bril­
liant career of military service just
before him. At the battle of Belmont,
Mo., he was with General Grant, and
was noted for conspicuous gallantry.
"When Grant fought the battle of
Shiloh he again distinguished himself,
and soon after was promoted to a
captaincy. In this latter engagement
he was quite severely wounded, and
by permission went back to his Illinois
home on furlough. Meanwhile his regi­
ment had been attached to General
Buel's army, and was then on duty
either in middleTennessee or northern
Alabama, and Captain Searight, after
a few weeks at home, came through
Nashville to join his regiment at the
front. In an unlucky hour he met a
young lady of 'rebel proclivities,' but
extremely beautiful, at her home near
Nashville. She was reputed to be im­
mensely wealthy, and was in full pos­
session of her property, having a year
or two before attained her majority."
"Would it be proper to tell tne name
of the fair rebel?" inquired the anxi­
ous listener.
"No," responded the old gentleman,
"but on the other hand quite improp­
er, as subsequent events will prove.
Suffice it to say, they met and loved.
All the time that the captain could
spare from his duties, and he frequent­
ly importuned his colonel for leaves
of absence, every moment he could!, he
spent in the society of the 'charming!
secesh siren,' as his brother officers
called her, and she as eagerly returned)
his burning passion. Captain Searight
time-and again offered his resignation-.
Hie-wished to leave the tented fields
and dwelt in the rosy bowers
of love, but, unlike his love, it was
not accepted. Love at length, liow
sver conquered all his scrupulous
opinions of duty to the flag of his
country. He grew desperate. He de­
serted,. and succeeded in escaping be­
yond the federal lines with his fair en­
slaved'. She leaving home and friends
and property for his sake, and he sur­
rendered honor and loyalty to the
cause he had sworn to protect. Ar­
rived within, the confederated lines the
seriousness of the situation began to
dawn upon the mind ot both of them:
If the fortunes of war should throw
him into the hands of the United States
authorities, he would certainly be
hanged as a traitor, and his wife would
possibly sufferas a participant in his
crime: They darter mined to leave the
country. From Atlanta they went
to Charleston. From the blockade
to Nassaut.where they took a British:
vessel hound forHavana.
MRU f«
But their happiness was short-lived,
and in the end turned to bitterness.
And now yomwill see why it was best
to suppress the- lady's name, for the
following extract, published in the,.
Lincoln (111.)' Herald in July, 1886,
and which pasted in my scrap book,
gives the sequal to the sad romance:
"By a letter to this office we learn
that Captain Searight, whose deser­
tion from the- army and elopement
with a secesh belle we published last
winter, was lat?ly killed in a duel by a
Spanish officer near Havana, in Cu­
ba. It appears that this woman, for
whom he abandoned fame and fortune,
had, in turn,, deserted him and tied
with a captaim in the Spanish army.
Captain Searight shortly after met the
destroyer of. his happiness in a codee
house and. buocked him down. Of
course the- proud Spaniard could
not brook the insult he chalenged
Searight, who- gladly accepted, as he
was weary, of life. They met on
the- seaside,-, about two miles from the
city of Hhrvana, and there Searight
fell, pierced.to the heart by his adver­
sary's bullfet.. Thus untimely has fall­
en one who-fouglit well and nobly ioi
hisiountry till in an evil hour he met
one-who- seduced him from-the path
of honor- and duty,- and through her
agency the- »tar of his life-lias set in
blood. The Spaniard and thefairfalse
one with a demon's heart have tied to.
the lale ot Pines."
A. B»jN Love for Hi» 3Iother.
Of all the love affairs in- the world
none can
surpass the true lOve of a big
boy for his mother. It is a love pure
and noble-,
honorable in tho highest de­
gree-to both. I do not mean merely at
duAifulaffection. I meaita love whiclii
makesa boy gallant to hi&motlier, say-,
ing plainly to everybody that he is faii
'y in love with her. Naxt to the lovo
a£hsr husband, nothing so crowns.a«
womac'slife with honoras this second!
love,, this devotion ot l»r son to her:.
And I never knew & boy to "turiu
out" badly who begamby falling in lot'*
with his mother. Ataymau might txi.ll
in love with a freshrfaiced girl, anditha
man that is gallant twthe girl majirfbr
get the worn and weary wife. Butr the
big boy who is a loverof his mother at
middle age is a true- knight, who wilt
love his wife as mueh in the sera-leaf
Autumn as he did'ia the daisied Spring.
There is nothing so beautifully chiv­
alrous as the k»Ke of a big boy for his
mother.
Call a man a- liar in Boston and the
chances are that the man of the second
part will smile pleasantly and say(
"I'll bet yeu $10 you can't prove it."
On the other hand, if a man in Texas
calls another a liar he is geod for at
least six months in the hfiwpital, if,
indeed, he succeeds in evading the si­
lent sarcophagus. The eSSerence is
in tho atmosphere, we snfpose. Now
in the south it is not eonsidered in
good taste or safe for the editor to
monkey with the doiasstic relations*
even of a president, hence you would
look in vain in southern papers for
the silly twaddleandvulgarcoinments
that appear in some of the daily jour­
nals ol the north, particularly of New
York, concerning tne marriage ot Pre­
sident Cleveland. Su:h things would
not be tolerated in "barbarous
Texas.—Texas
Sittings.
111
if *15$
A Ccrtiflscato Wanted.
I just do like to fttn across an Eng­
lishman who is fresh to this country
and determined to combat American
ideas. He is a good deal better C**51"
pany than an American would be in
Europe. Such a chap rode with us
from Vicksburg over to Jackson.
"Excuse me, ye know," he began as
the conductor came along, •'but I'd
like a compartment to myself."
There was no place to put him except
in the baggage car, and when this was
ascertained he replied:
"Ah, well, I'm no bloomin' chump,
ye know Is this a h'air lino rail­
road?"
"Never heard that it was," said the
conductor.
"Then why didn't they direct me to
the h'air line? What's the use, ye
know, in a fellow creeping and twist­
ing all over the country to fetch up at
some place which is on a h'air line?"
We had no sooner got him quieted
down on that than he began to find
fault with the scenery along the road.
"It's devilish awkward, ye know, to
be gazing at nothing but a pine
forest," he broke out. "If there are
no mountains, cliffs, valleys or pretty
villages, why not go to work and pro­
vide them? They can't expect a fellow
to put up with such as this and go over
the route another time."
We rubbed him down gently, and
had restored his- good nature when we
side-tracked fov ten minutes for the
other train to pass.
"I'm no bloomin' cliump, ye kno"Wm
he began at the end of two minutes,
"but I certainly protest against tl«is
delay. If there is only one track wlr®
is to blame: for it? Is my valuable
time to be taken wp iu waiting here be­
cause the other tpain is not on time?
In the first place their is no h'air liue?
then there are no- compartments then
the scenery sets- one crazy then we
must switch off and submit to delay
Gents observe that I protest."
We patted him an the back and lull­
ed the storm, but it broke out again nsi
soon as we reached Jacks
on. He didn't:
like the situation af th© hotel nor any
of the rooms in it,, nor the way the
porter talked back to him. and he llung
himself into a chair, and exclaimed:
"I'm no bloomin? chump, ye know,
but I can't go this—really, I can't."
Wiiile he had beem fussing around
we had put up a little jobon him. and
now informed him- that there was a
carriage at the door'tx»duive him to a
tine hotel in the subuEbs—a place we
had not time to visit..
"That's jolly, and I won't forget the
fcvvor, ye know," he isaid as he tossed
his bags into the hack, and drove on.
The driver was directed to take him
tothe Inf-'ane Asylum, and the order
\vai» faithfully carried out..
•"I'm a bloomin' chump iff it isn't a
fine building, though I can't say much
for-the scenery," said the-maun as they
ditttve up.
lk alighted with all hisbaggage and
entered the Superintundent's-atlice. In
asboist an hour he returned tothe hotel,
iuuli bursting into the office where we
sat suioking he hotly announced:
Fia-st there is no h'air line Slien no
compartment then no scenery :then no
iloubl track then I arrive atithe tavern
lo'timl it only a tliird-rato-olub house:
th«n I'm sent knocking about to a
suburban hotel, and when seacli it
what does the hald-headcd'old eock-a
dofjilSe of a landlord inform me!! Why,
genttjy that I've got to have a certiti
calie ©f insanity to be adm tted! I'm
a bloomin' chump if your ldarsted
country isn't enough to drive one wild!''
—M. Quail, in Detroit Frea Itc.s«.
Scliwol-Tcachers with Glass Eyes.
"A. glass eye is a grand improve­
ment*. so far as looks are concerned."
said a-mi Id-voiced man from Webster,
N..H.„ "but it is a positive detx.meut
to.a-.sohool-teacher. Ai school-teacher
and a» glass eye should for ever ttemaiu
strangers. 1 know what I'm talking
aboutv for I've got a gla-ss optic, ami I
tried.to teach school with it in my left
eye,-, hat 1 failed, and my tailurc was
due a-ntircly to that darned old.sight
loss makeshift for a real eye.
"My eye was put out while ci Dart­
mouth college. As sootii as possible af­
ter the accident I had a glass eye fitted
and. wore it for the first time cn com­
mencement day, vvhem 1 received my
sheepskin. As soon as I graduated I
got a district school near Kee'ie and
bogais teaching the next fall. Tho
school had scholars big and lit llv, who
worm just beginning their A (Is, and
those who were finishing off. Among
the latter class were iwo or three giris
pretty well up in their teens. One of
theiin was as pretty as a picture.
"Knowing that thu hoys needed more
constant watching, than the girls, I
transferred the fonn«r to the right side
of the room and gave the girls desks on
tho- left side. This change excited some
conunent, as from time immemorial
tho reverse order toad been observed.
I oould see that tho- change was not a
popular measure, however. I gave no
reason for the movd: Everything went
along without apparent friction or in­
cident until the second Friday of my
first mouth. At that time I received a
note from the sehiool directors asking
uio to attend a meeting of tluit body oa.
the following day.
"I went to t^e meeting expecting
some trouble omaccount of soy changes,
in the school-rooui. The oseeting liadi
not fairly opeiued before the senior
director, withi osuch stacamering, in­
formed me that the pretty young girl,
the oldest in the school, calling her by
name, had informed the 'Jfirectors that
I never took my left eye off of her fvm
the beginning of the sahool until it
closed at recess, noon, and night. I ex­
plained thah the accusation was with*
out foundation, and trdking the glass
shell from tdte socket, traced it ou the
table. Tfeay immediately saw the in­
justice of tiae accusation, but at the
same tim«-as long as I wore a glass eye
its effect oa the girl pupils woulcj be the­
same as it it was real.. In othev words,.
I had either to go without the eve on
give U{*the school. I did the latter
and staated out on the road."—St. PauC
Globe_
life's Baseball Vocabulary.
A favorite pitch*—The beer jug.
A base hit—Slogged by a footpaul
Not out—A prisoner at the Tombs.
A good strike—The car drivers.
The champion catcher—The faeUeof
Newport.
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The home stretch—Young America
under the maternal slipper.
A heavy baiter—Restaurant wheat
cab's.
High ball—The Chairty.
A bad score—The liquor dealer's
slate.
Ilona Tun—Small bov chascd by the
Fitx'st.
Short stop—Brake on a Twenty-third
trffl bobtail car.
Qu rv How many baseball leagues
.uaku a mile?—Life.
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