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lORGAN'S JOLLY ROAST
Gridiron Club Gave the Finan
cier Best Time of His Life.
VIOTIM OF LAUGHABLE SKITS.
Wnhiaftoa CwtMf«arati Had
Him the Moat Remarkable
IMaaar Be Ivtr Kajarml-Baekct
flbep BtpNMBtlw Hti OOlee Opea
•4, With Oarata
"8*7, Hanua, I had the time of my
Uf» last night."
"Beginning to like newspaper men
,^tt last?" remarked the Ohio senator.
Mr. Morgan hesitated a moment and
then replied, "1 can say that 1 like
irspaper men quite as much as they
Tike me, but of all the dinners I ever
•at down to the Gridiron club dinner
last night takes the palm."
"You remind me of a parrot that
•nee learned to talk the morning after
firemen's dinner at Akron, O. All
be learned was: 'Oh, mamma, mamma,
what a time we bad! Say, pop—ha,ha,
This is part of a conversation that
look place about 10 o'clock tbe other
morning in Washington when J. Pler
jjont Morgan and Senator Hanna of
Ohio, two of tbe subjects of much of
tbe mockery and Jest that prevailed at
tbe Gridiron club dinner tbe night be
fore, met at tbe breakfast table in the
Arlington hotel, says the New York
Mr. Morgan bad been tbe feature of
tbe dinner. He accepted tbe Invitation
several weeks ago when tbe Gridiron
elub decided to make its annual din
ner a feast to "tbe captains of lndus
rThe Gridiron club, wbich is com
posed of Washington newspaper corre
spondents and has entertained every
((resident who has been in the White
House during nearly twenty years, al
ways makes a great feature of its an
nual dinner. The members are no re
specters of dignity. Every man who
attends its dinners, even the president,
knows perfectly well that tbe humor
ous side of his character will be por
trayed in one way or another.
It is all very good sport It is given
In fun and received in fun. One of the
rules of tbe club is, "Ladies are al
ways present reporters never." This
means that coarse jest or insinuation is
never permitted and that any speaker
can use the utmost freedom of expres
sion without fear of his words being
printed or repeated beyond tbe walls
of tbe banquet ball.
When the guests were seated, Mr.
Morgan found himself at the left hand
of William E. Curtis, tbe new president
of the club. The tables had been ar
ranged in the form of an enormous
gridirou. Each guest found before him
,tiiill golden easel, to which was at
(iched a gridiron calendar. Each of a
'Zen prominent guests had his picture
iblisiied under some month with an
February had been reserved for Mr.
Morgan, who was depicted with for
eign potentates kneeling around him,
each offering his crown to the great
American financier. This verse ac
companied Mr. Morgan's picture:
Though kings and nabobs s'lam,
Our king is as close as a clam
They may offer their crowns,
Their smiles or their frowns,
But Morgan he doesn't care.
Senator Gorman \yas accorded March,
te was mouuted on a Democratic don
key, with a finger and a smile both
pointed in the direction of tbe capltol,
and this is what tbe calendar said
about Senator Gorman:
Arthur Pue, Arthur Pue,
Miat In tbe world's tbe matter with you?
We beard of you downed.
And now you are back with the gridiron
A. J. Cassatt, president of tbe Penn
sylvania railroad, figured under April.
"V' was depicted as placing an elabo
/ate union station at the center of con
erging railroad lines. Tbe verse read:
good man called Cassatt,
tho never knew where he was at
Till he promised
That beat all creation.
And then ho remarked, "Island
Clement A. Griscom, president of the
ternational Steamship combination,
peared as May and was dressed in a
ilor suit. Mr. Griscom was trimmed
in this style:
ittie Bo Pips has lost his ships
And doesn't know where to find them,
them alone, and they will come home
With a subsidy behind them.
Senator Hanna, as June, was dressed
a circus clown leading the G. O. P.
ejjlhant, astride of which sat Presl
ent Roosevelt Senator Hanna march
to this music:
The slickest man In all the show
Marcus A. Hanna stands.
He says no word he has. you know,
An elephant on his hands.
Shafts began to fly at the heads of
tbe "captains of industry" when the
ildent of the club was inaugurated,
rdinand and Isabella appeared on
ie throne of Spain, and Columbus
as brought in to give an account of
wanderings and discoveries. He
aaked by tbe queen what he had
nV with tbe money raised by "hock
g" ber diamonds. He replied In fear
trembllnsr that be. bad drpnoed It
J. Morgan, Busters and
I Members of the club sedately walked
In rnd took their seats. They were tbe
customers. One member appeared as
n. Hetty Green and another as tbe
writer girl of the office. There
ere talks between the manager, clerk
senators in Washington. Senator
i|l& seemed willing to give informa
|tion as to why sugar was going up. He
igxplalned that Senator Quay bad gone
and bought without orders.
Suddenly.lhe customers noticed stocks
were rapmiy going down. The type
writer girl looked into the Inner office
and announced that "the old man was
asleep." He was awakened and gave
orders for stocks to be put up. A rou
lette wheel which had been'rigged
against aside of tbe room was whirled
by one of tbe clerks, and stocks jumped
twenty points. After stocks bad gone
up to a prodigious height one of the
customers advanced to the front and
entertained the audience with tbe fol
lowing song to tbe air of "Mr. Dooley:"
There Is a man who's Known to all, a man
of great renown,
A awn whose name Is on the lips of every
one In town.
You read about him every day, his name
you've beard, no doubt.
And If he even sneesee they will get an
Per Mr. Morgan, Mr. Morgan,
The greatest man the country ever
Quite diplomatic and democratic.
Is Mr. Morgan—organ—organ o.
Be made a million dollars In every kind
He took his friends along with him the
others bad to bust.
But when he tackled Teddy he ran up
against a Job
Be bought hla railroads In a bunch, he
did, so help me Bob I
Now Mr. Morgan turned
hardly on tbe square
Be cornered Roosevelt's favorite game.
Including "coons" and bear.
"The president may bust my trust I'll
have to bow to fate,"
But when It comes to hunting he will
have to arbitrate.
When congress makea Its Mttle law, no
trusts will be alive.
For coal 'U be twenty cents
rails be twenty-flve
With the water squeezed from all the
stocks, with forests full of bear,
The mlllenium will be at hand, and ail the
By Mr. Morgan, etc.
The conversation of tbe crowd in Mr.
Morgan's office was interesting.
"Say," said one, "I got a bully tip
"Who gave it to you?"
"Don't play It" warned another mem
ber, "for If it was worth anything
Cbauncey wouldn't have given It
Then this dialogue occurred:
"The thing that worries tbe old man
Is what we had better do about a pres
ident of tbe board of aldermen."
"No president of tbe United States."
"Ob, I thought it was something im
"Well, it is Important if the old man
Is anxious about it"
Tbe scene ended with the appearance
of the club member impersonating Het
ty Green, who was in a state of mind
over a cent wbich she had lost the day
Tbere were many other features, in
cluding tbe appearance of one of tbe
club members disguised as a lump of
coal. He was surrounded by a chorus,
who sang appropriate music —as, for
President Morgan played the organ,
John Mitchell played the drum.
The railroad played the same old game.
And the price was twelve per ton, per ton,
And the price was twelve per ton.
The union of the "Lily Whites" and
"Black and Tans" was effected by the
initiation into the club of J. K. Ohl of
Atlanta and J. P. Miller of Baltimore,
the two "baby members" of the club.
While quietly eating their dinner these
men were set upon by a mob of angry
northern and southern editors, carry
ing ropes and uttering the wildest
threats of torture and hanging. Tbe
offending members were dragged to
the center of the room and charged
with being carpetbaggers who were
trying to direct southern affairs. They
were known as "J. Clarkson Ohl, lead
er of the 'Lily Whites,'" and "J.
Pritchard Miller, leader of tbe 'Black
and Tans.'" A sheriff rescued tbe
men from the mob after Colonel Hen
ry Watterson and Mr. Clark Howell,
Impersonated by leading members of
tbe dob, bad advocated their deatb by
incendiary speeches. By giving the
Gridiron club as surety they were re
leased on the promise to go linked
through life with a colored brother.
Much to tbe surprise of Secretary
Cortelyou, who was one of the guests,
his well known colored messenger, Ar
thur Simmons, appeared, and to him
the "frnhy members" of tbe club were
all In "United States steal." He an
nounced tbat be had discovered a trust
during his wandering, which was a
"bunch of money entirely surrounded
by water," and an arbitration, which
was "a conference for keeping coal at
$20 a ton."
What was regarded as tbe bit of the
evening, however, occurred about the
middle of tbe dinner, when a bucket
pbop was opened at the lower end of
the room and a member of tbe club,
acting as a broker's clerk, at once be
gan business. Tbe office bad a ticker
•lid a telephone. The bucket shop was
supposed to be In New York, and it had
bound by broad silk ribbons of black
and white, tbe club colors. The presi
dent of the club then announced tbat
places bad .been prepared at tbe table
for tbe club members, but tbat their
companions would have to be cared for
on tbe other side of Lafayette square.
In the White House.
When the dinner was concluded, Mr.
Morgan expressed himself as very
much pleased with the entertainment
and for a long time listened to stories
•f good things that had been done at
previous dinners. He will possibly be
a frequent guest In tbe future.
By daylight is a memorable and de
lightful trip when made on the
Famous Badger State Express, the
popular day train between St. Paul,
Minneapolis and Chicago, via the
Northwestern Line. A luxurious
observation parlor cafe car is attached
to the rear of this train, affording
exceptional opportunities for viewing
the beautiful scnery. Hot meals are
also served at any time at a la carte
pay only for what you order.
Opposition in tbe Noase to Any
Change in the Present
rrepesetf Creation of New Jadicial
District to be Known as
WiH Draw $3 a Day
after Instead of $2—
Bismarck, N. D. Feb. 7—(Special
Telegram). The house was a scene of
great excitement this afternoon from
report of temperance committee.
The sergeant at arms was sent to
arrest Movius and Miller. McGahan
gave notice that roll call would be
demanded and no business could be
transacted. After three roll calls the
motion to adjourn prevailed. It is
said that the resubmissioners will
adopt same measures next week. A
vote showed 62 unfavorable to resub
mission and 32 favorable. Resubmis
sioners wanted report held till
Bismarck, N. D. Feb. 7—(Special).
A majority report of the committee
on temperance submitted in the house
this afternoon was that the consider
ation of the Movius resubmission bill
be indeiinately postponed. A minor
ity report was made that bill do pass.
This left the matter to be scrapped
out on the floor of the house. The
temperance committee will probably
report Monday on the bill doing away
with druggists' permits.
Bismarck, N. D., Feb. 7—Special
Correspondence: At a meeting last
night members of the bar from the
4th, 5th and 6th judicial districts
were present. It was decided to pre
sent a bill in the legislature creating
anew judicial district to be known as
the ninth district. The plan proposed
is to divide the large fifth district,
making the counties of Barnes, Griggs
Foster, Eddy and Wells the 5th dis
trict. The other district suggested
is to consist of Stutsman, LaMoure,
Logan, Kidder and Mclntosli, the
latter being now attached to the 4th
for judicial purposes and to be known
as the 9th district. Barnes county
attorneys are in favor of the proposed
change which will mean the appoint
ment by the governor of anew judge.
Just who will get the position in case
the bill should pass, is not at all cer
tain at present. It is urged that
some change should be made during
the present session as there will be no
opportunity to do anything for four
years if some action is not taken right
away. As the fifth district is now
arranged there is a great deal of
travel required on the part of the
court, and attorneys and clients, from
counties remote from Jamestown are
put to considerable expense in that
From the favor the plan proposed
meets with among those from the
counties concerned there seems to be
a probability that the bill will become
Last night the resubmission ists dis
cussed the situation at some length.
The attendance was not large and the
confidence which has been expressed
heretofore was lacking. The plan of
action finally decided upon, is to delay
bringing the bill to a vote as late as
possible in the session. The opinion
was that a vote at this time would be
fatal. The latest figures make 60
rotes, or more against resubmission
in the house at this time, more than
enough to defeat and others say there
are 44 votes in the house for resub
mission and they are prepared to tie
up other legislation including appro
The Eighth Legislative session is
now over half over, this being the
thirty-third day, and while bills on
most all subjects have been intro
duced few have been approved up to
today. Nearly all bills expected have
been introduced, and what comes
from now on will be more in the wav
As usual, the railroads have had a
great deal of attention by the legis
lators, and bills to regulate things to
the satisfaction of shippers, employes
of the corporations and others have
been drafted. Some are very stringent
and evidence that the author was not
an admirer of the agencies which play
such an important part in the devel
opment of the state. One of these
bills introduced by Mr. Brown in the
house relates to the taxation of rail
roads, telegraph, telephone, express
companies and by its provisions the
railroads vrould undoubtedly be taxed
much heavier than at present. It is
the same as. the TiVitchell bill 2 years
ago which provoked such a fight.
Another bill which has been before
every sessioii of the legislature since
statehood is known as the personal
injury bill wjtiich provides that rail
road companies shall be liable for
damages thfbugh the negligence of
fellow-employes. The bill to make
trains stop at all county seals has
already been slaughtered and Steele
is greatly disappointed thereat. Three
bills to regulate demurrage, have
been introduced, one withdrawn, the
other sidetracked and the other pro
viding for 48 hours to load and unload
cars, has not had its fate decided.
John Knauf of Jamestown, S. G.
More of Buffalo and Chas. Mudgett
of Valley City, members of the state
asylum board were arrivals yesterday.
They explain to legislators the needs
of the institution. O. J. Seller of
Jamestown was also a Bismarck
Colonel John D. Benton and Sheriff
Twitchell of Fargo are here. Both
claim Fargo is the best place in the
state for a fair.
Dr. Crawford of New Rockford is
here chaperohed by Senator Carroll.
There was a laugh yesterday when
Speaker Baker announced that there
would be a Woman's Suffrage meeting
in his room. The speaker explained
that it was a committee meeting and
that it would be held at his official
room down town, and not at the
Attorneys Lockerby and Wright of
Valley City are among those who
have been here the past few days..
Editor Fred Falley has been here
for several days.
There are numerous comments on
the roast of the Palladium on the
Register reform. States Attorney
Register seems to be in such a posi
tion now that he cannot retreat and
it is believed that Bismarck will be
reformed some more. The beer, sup
posed to have been shipped out of the
county, was found and is being held
by the coronor for the usual three
The state fair bills are coming in
thick and fast. Its a poor town that
has not started a fair boom. The
Grand Forks members have lost heart
over the fair matter, and it is said a
lack of interest among constituents
handicaps the Forks delegation.
A Torrens land title bill and a
number of measures of more or less
interest are to be voted on later. As
usual the senate is slow to pass the
house bills and this year the house is
in no hurry to do anything with sen
ate bills. The last week there will be
a great rush, and bills galore will be
The house yesterday refused to ad
journ to Tuesday.
The Tufte's anti-trust bill caused
excitement. Mr. Tufte spoke in
favor'of it Mr. Cassellalso favored the
bill. Mr. Buttz opposed. He said
such a bill would discourage capital
likely to invest in the state, and
would in all likelihood shut out large
mining companies about to engage in
the developement of the coal fields of
North Dakota. The bill carried by a
vote of two to one.
So far only one bill affecting Chris
tian Science, mind healing and faith
cures has been introduced. Osteopa
thy has not received a shock so far.
An effort is being made to cut down
the amount of exemption from 91,000
to $500 and it is figured that there is
such general prosperity that such a
bill may carry.
Jurors, who listen to the long and
often tiresome arguments ol the
learned counsel, will receive $1 more
per day in the future.
Governor White vetoed Hale's bill
providing for the issue of $66,000 bonds
for deaf school, because the title was
defective. Approved senate bill No.
13 regarding the settlement of affairs
of corporations upon dissolution.
Tom Driscoll of Grand Forks is back
again working for the personal injury
bill, which is in the hands of the rail
Editor VanArnam of Richland, the
Demosthenes of the house, is being
warmly congratulated on the success
which his efforts have been met with
in that body.
Major Black, the genial warrior
from Valley City, is here in the
interests of the .Soldiers' Home at
Lisbon, of which he is a trustee.
Major Black is one of the most popu
lar men in the state and the affairs of
the Home are in good hands when he
is in charge.
J. A. Joyce and Stanley Moore of
Williamsport are here for a few days.
Miss Merrick of Grand Harbor, has
arrived for a visit with her brother
N. R. Merrick, who is assistant chief
clerk of the house.
Attorney General Frich gave it as
his opinion that the bill making
William Budge of Grand Forks a life
member of the board of trustees of
the University of North Dakota was
not unconstitutional and so reported
to the house.
Petitions were received from 65
Benson county farmers who want the
farmers' institute bill passed and urg
ing the appropriation of $5,000, and
from Nelson county farmers on a sim
ilar proposition and asking that $10,
000 be appropriated.
Notice was received from Devils
Lake that the Presbyterian congre
gation had endorsed tiie anti-cigarette
and raising the age of consent bills.
Fifty names were attached to a peti
tion from Devils Lake in regard to
the passage of house bill No. 16, in
creasing the appropriation for high
schools, the signers askiug that the
bill be passed.
Give me a rail.
J. H. CRUM ft CO.
Groceries and Provisions,
Fruits and Confectioneries.
The highest price paid for produce. Satisfaction guar
anteed or money refunded. Give us your trade.
H* CRUM ll COi) Worth tide Grocers.
Dr. Larrv B. McLean,
Cfolrii and gfidije Hor\ a Socially.
JAMESTOWN, N. D.
Brick Block South of White's Drug Store.
Established 1878. Incortorated I898
WELLS & DICKEY CO.
1 Farm Loans.
Improved Farm?. Unimproved Wneat and Flax
Landflj Stood Grazing Lan U) Lancta foi* tbe
Farmer, and Large Tracts for the Investor.
CAPITAL HOUSE BARN,
(Under Sew Management)
WHEN YOU WANT FIRST CUSS LIVERY
Gr. E. LYMAN
Jamestown, N. D.
Dray Line iu connection.
Call for Livery or Dray by
phone. Prompt ancl reli
HARRY PAST, Proprietor
LUMBER, WOOD, COAL, ETC,,
C. D. SHURLOCK
Valuable farm and city property for sale.
Such as Dry Goods, Groceries, Shoes and Rubbers, Queensware.
In (act everything usually kept in a General Store.
Fruits of All Kinds in Season. We Want Farmers' Butter, Eggs, Potatoes
After January 1st our store will close at (5:30 p. m. until further notice.
LUTZ LUriBER COMPANY,
Lumber, Sash Doors, Paper, Mouldings,
Lime, Brick, Cement, Plaster, Culvert
Pipe, Wood and Coal.
Grass Seeds and Grain for Seed and Feed.
Jamestown, North Dakota.
is always found on the Famous trains
of the famous North-Western Line
for he knows they are the most com
fortable in every'respect. The North
western Limited has electric lighted
features possessed by no other train
and is easily the peer of all other
trains between Minneapolis, St. Paul
Go to Severn. All kinds of
rigs at reasonable rates. Good
WfmvCF Hack meets all trains and is
ready for call at any hour.
Courteous treatment and
^square dealing is the motto
Jamestown, N. D.
For Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have Always Bought