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The Herald By The Herald Publishing Company. JOHN BRADBURY, President and General Manager. 1 H. POLK... Assistant General Manager EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT: No. 205 New High Street. Telephone 150. John T. Gaefky Managing Editor. BUSINESS OFFICE: Bradbury Building, MS W.est Third Street. Telephone 247. Doit.i.ar White Business Manager. MONDAY, MARCH |8, 1893. You can still ride on a "scalpeu" ticket. We have every confidence in that Sacra mento grand jury. The Southern Pacific Railroad corpora tion found Jim in. Trilby hangs on more tenaciously than ■ he Quick and The Head. Manufactories and parks are a promise of the future of Los Angeles. Bdltor Dana's advice to tlie wine-grow ers of California was thrown away. An honest dairyman is one of the noblest attempts of tbe last Legislature. Southern Pacific lobby out of a job is a pleasant spectacle for the people of Cali fornia. Is there an ordinance regulating tbe speed of trains within the city limits of Los Angeles'.' We are sorry that the Legislature did not pass a law making it a misdemeanor to fee a Pullman porter. That "cold snap" Ought to be a salutary lesson for Vacaville. That section is al together "too previous" with her fruit, anyway. The oorruptionists of the late un lainented Legislature may not wear stripes on this occasion, but they will never have another opportunity to "ap proach" honest men. It is too soon to summarize the work of the Legislature. It is safe to say, how ever, tbat when the summary is made it will not reflect credit upon those who have been active in nnking this history of the state. The business men of Denver have at tempted to raise $2,000 000 for a mining exposition, to be held next year. It was in Colorado that the "calamity bowler began the ullulation of despair that was "heard 'round the world." T hat war in Cuba is developing. The .■snrgents are holding their own, and if reinforced by a few American filibusters eagerly awaiting an opportunity to land on tlie island, another provisional gov ernment" may be clamoring for annexa tion to the United States. How quickly is the memory of the deail prophet dishonored in his own country. Only $'i 0 could be raised by popular sub scription In Maine to erect a monument for James G. Blame and the Legislature has been asked to appropriate a sum that the statesman, in his lifetime, could have had for any political or personal pur pose by simply announcing the desire and the amount. San Diego complains, and justly, of the neglect of the San Francisco weather office and the editor of the Crop Bulletin. It is claimed by the San Diegans that in giving temperatures and crop reports from the citrus fruit belt they never come below Riverside, evidently not being aware that San Diego county leads in the lemon growing industry and is well to tne front on good oranges. This error of omission is noticeable in giving temperature of last Thursday nigbt, when Observer Har mon places it generally between :i7 and :i* south of Tehachepi, when in fact the lowest in San Diego was 46, and at 5 a. m. it was 4tf. Xo frost has been observed ; and tomato vines and tender plants are uninjurd. About the only time San Diego receives notice is in "deficiency of rain- I fall." The opening of the new railroad from Prescott to Phrenix. Ariz., marks the dawn of a new day for the Salt River Val ley. The northern outlet was very much needed. Competition was also an absent factor and it is not good for any country to have but one railroad, especially if that one is the Southern Pacific. Every person who is familiar with the Salt River Val ley has long realized that its day would come, and that it would be a very inter esting and hopeful day. too. The valley has a splendid system of canals and many old farming districts, which have amply demonstrated the character of the soil ana climate. It would seem that a vigor ous colonization policy would quickly succeed in furnishing the valley with a productive population. Probably there is no portion of Arid America which will ultimately sustain more people to the ■quare mile. Singularly enough, the de velopment has thus fat been iv the direc tion of the large farm unit. The Irriga tion Age, a journal devoted the reclama tion of the arid territories of the world, thinks tbat the tendency ought to be just tbe reverse in tbe Salt River Valley, A scheme of industry could be devised which Would make farming on ten acres ex tremely profitable in thai locality. We hope to see some practical experiment along this line. A German inventor has mastered one of the most difficult problems, that of conveying the current, or handling the trolley in tlie open Held. A chain is stretched across the Held and securely anchored at either end. Tiie anchors are light, and easily moved. The chain passes around tbe shaft of the motor, and the plows are drawn steadily and rapidly from side to side. Tlie cables conveying the electricity are mounted ou light roll er-, which readily follow the direction and. movement of the plow, so that fric tion and wear are almost wholly avoided. Tiie plows are "double-enders." Two have b.-en built and put in operation. The one cuts two furrows the total width of twenty-four inches, and a depth of nine and one-half inches; the other is a four-plow machine. Both worked equally well. The held was about 200 metres, or 650 feet, across. The power necessary was about eight-horse for the smaller plow, although a twelve horse portable engine was employed to drive the dynamo. For tin- larger plow v sixteen-horse power en gitu was used. At a speed for the plow of oniy four miles an hour, its capacity would be about all acre un hour. The cost in the experiment at Halle was found to be le.-s than one-half tbat of animal power. When the power shall be supplied by falling water in tbe canals near at hand, the advantage will be still greater ill favor of electricity. A LAND OF ROMANCE Southern California is pre-eminently a land of romance, and the possibilities, from a literary point of view, are illimit able. All that is required is the master mind to collate and discriminate the material lying all around us, and the master hand to write the story. It is a virgin field. Those who have already made exploration have merely penetrated the outskirts of this wondrous region. Only one or two have caught the flavor of our environment, and they have told us but little—glimpsed the prospect, as it were, and sketched the mere outlines of near-by subjects embossed and prominent on the broad surface of a history and a character reaching back to the Conquest. Tbat tha world is interested in whatever may be told of this history is evi denced in the pronounced popularity of Helen Hunt Jackson's Hamona. And yet Mrs. Jackson touched only on a single phase of the life of a pe culiar people, appealing only to the sympathies of ber readers without elabor ate effort at detail even in her characteri zation. Charles F. l.umiuis. who loves the desert and the people living therein, has given us accurate descriptive sketches full of that indefinable element vaguely termed "local color," but Mr. I.ummis bas not yet told the story of the mingling of the races. That he could do so if so minded, we do not doubt, and that he will ilu so is yery probable, for he is satur ated with the t rut ii of the picture that we would have bim paint for us. Such a work would lose nothing by tbe accuracy of detail tbat underlies all of Mr. I.uni mis' effort- -it is not improbable that tbe value and interest of the product would be enhanced by its very truthfulness. It 1 is not so certain that Gertrude Atherton will ever successfully depict the life she seems prone to atteiipt iv some of her writing. Mrs. Atherton possesses a lim ited degree of knowledge, and sometimes she evinces a prettiness in portraiture, but out side the ephemeral pages of a 1 magazine the result of her effort is abso lutely valueless. We believe that Margaret Collier Graham could accomplish as much in this direction as any woman writer. It may be that her disposition to intro spective analysis would hamper some what, but aside from that she is emi nently qualified for the task. Especially is Mrs. Graham fitted to present the softer, gentler, more picturesque phases of the Latin character upon which ro mance of this timbre must base. But the man or woman—preferably a man -who is destined to tell this story successfully must have the tire of a Stan ley Weyman, the force and virility of a Kipling, and tbe vivacity of tlie elder Dumas. The writer miy select any of a hundred stirring episo les—the history of a California family; the founding of a mission; tbe personal adventure of a Spanish cavalier of the Conquest; the story of a prince of the house of Monte Suma; a chronicle of the Aztec orlnca: a romance founded on the expedition of Coronado or the voyage of Cabrillo; or best of all, containing, as it does, the germs of modern human interest, the pe culiarly romantic narration of the events preceding and succeeding the invasion of the gringo—the meeting of the Saxon and the Latin—on the plains of California. Here the novelist will find his richest field: in the folklore of the country-side he will fin l Inexhaustible material for "local color, " in the ballads crooned by ancient women in the patios of adobes still more ancient he will get the drift of the local character: from the lips of oil men he will hear the story of Fremont and Stockton and Kit Carson, and the filibusters of Walker and Crabb—the in cursion of the Argonaut and the fading of the pastoral race that held the title to leagues under grant of the Mexican gov ernment, deeming it of little worth, save for the pasturing of countless herds val uable only for their hides and tallow. On this basis, in this field, and of this epoch and people will some master of the pen of romance some day achieve lasting fame. THE COLONIAL CLUB* A movement has begun in Boston and Chicago that may have an important bear ing on the future of Southern California. This organization embodies what is called a syst 'in of colonial clubs, ami it is ex pectad that the plans upon which these clubs are to be operated will become im mediately popular throughout the Eastern states. These clubs, il is Intended, shall be composed ol all sorts and conditions of people. The idea is one that will appeal i i everybo ly who is willing to consider a chance for bettering bis condition by en tering into the new life of tlieilre.it West. | There arc many indications that this class I includes thousands, perhaps millions of American citizens. It embraces not only working men who have been crowded down, and to v considerable extent, crowded out, under the crushing weight of modern industrial conditions, with its constant growth of labor-saving machin ery; 'nit it embraces also the small mer chants, who tire being swallowed by tlie ; department stores in great cities; the I myriads of young men wdio are liable to be swept into the ranks of helpless classes, and many who. having toiled for years as employees, and having accumulated some little means by economy, yet see no Future except continued toil without adequate provision) for old age: it includes, also, especially in New England, many who have formerly bad a living income from investments, but whose investments have depreciated until they can no longer sup port tbem. though enough is left to furn ish capital for a start In the colonial life of the West. The Colonial Clubs will work along the lines of the Chautauqua system,aiming to educate the people through tt comprehen sive scheme of li terature, and, ultimately of lectures. Members will pay the bare cost of providing the books and patn t.blcts. The initial feature will bs the campaign circular issued by the chair man of the national committee. This will be followed by a condensation of Senator David Boyd's history of the I'nion Colony of Colorado. Then there will be pamphlets on various aspects of the industrial and social life of Utah, on the colonies Of Southern California, and localities of the arid region. The climate of Arid America, together with impartial descriptions Ol the different states and territories,with their boundless resources, will be fully set forth. A score of the best writers of the ariil region will be invited td co-operate with the Host.hi committee and the national irrigation oommi tee in the preparation ol mis literature. Probably the same literature will be adopted every where, ami one board of editors will suf fice. This board will be sufficiently emi nent to furnish an absolute guarantee as to the character of the statements put forth. Next fall the Fourth National Irrigation LOS ANGELES HERALD: MONDAY MORNING* MARCH 18, 1895. Congress may be asked to fnrnish a dozen lecturers from the various states to meet the members of Colonial Clubs at central points. The Colonial Club system will only work upon broad lines. It aims nt popular edu cation upon a subject of which the Amer ican people are today in denser dark ness than about the interior of Africa. It aims to unfold to tlp?ir vision tho empire where national destiny is to be wrought out in the new century. Such a work as this must be above all suspicion of personal or local interest. It must be organised and carried out as a matter of tho highest public spirit. The practical result of this educational work, it is expected, will be the spontane ous formation, in time, of hundreds of colonies for Arid America. They will be guided in their location by tho differing tastes and financial means of different groups. Doubtless many of them will choose private lands, because their owners can offer superior inducements in the way of assisting to create attractive and pros perous communities; but probably tbe majority of the people will How upon the public lands, and the Carey law will be speedily put to the test. The action of Governor Itudd in disap proving of the anti-SCatpers bill is a cer tain indication of his attitude toward the Southern Pacific in its effort to main tain its oppressive dictation over the people. Tbe railroad company brought every force at their command to bear in the passage of this iniquitous measure. By the aid of their "combine" in the Legislature they succeeded in driving it through the Senate and Assembly. Then they attempted to convince Governor Budd that be ought to si m it because it was "in tbe public interest." Tbe absurd ity of the arguments presented to an intel ligent ami absolutely incorruptible exec utive only emphasizes tho fact that these corporation bandits believe that they are the supreme power and authority of the commonwealth. However, Governor Budd didn't sign the bill and the railroad ad vocates SO reported to their masters. It remains now to be seen bow the octopus will oe revenged on Governor Budd. COSTLY -REFORM" SAN FRANCISCO KXAMINFR The calculation tbat tbe Whittier Re form School costs the people of Califor nia something in the neighborhood of $10.1 a month for each inmate, throws a strong doubt on the good sense of tl.e Legislature in voting $200,001 to enlarge its accommodations. The smaller tiie number that can be accommo lated at the institution the better off the state will be. Twelve hundred dollars a year per pupil puts the Whittier Reform School at tbe head of the list of fashionable educa tional institutions in California, if not in the I'nitcd States. When Doctor Sprague opened his seminary at Peralta Hall some years ago and seta price that was to make it the "great fashionable school of the coast,|he put his charges at $SUO a year. This was too high even for the well-to-do people of Callifornia, and the school failed. More moderate prices yet. would give the boys and girls an education at the best institutions in America. Even at tbo universities $000 a year will support and pay the charges of any student who m ot given to extravagance. On the whole the slate would make money by selling out tlie Whittier reformatory and putting the children in boarding schools. As tbe courts have been sending chlldr n to Whittier to oblige parents who do not like tbe trouble of caring for their fam ilies, the main thing needed is a law thai will prevent courts from sending anybody there except on trial and conviction by a jury. TOWN TOPICS Stockton has a new public library. The Lompoe creamery is about ready for work. Glenn county is to have a new court house. Oakland wants to run a Hundred Thous and Club. San .lose experienced quite a shock of earthquake Tuesday night. Rialto makes its first orange shipments this season, about 20 carloads. The Southern California railway is to be extended from San Jacinto to Lake View. The Petaluma incubator Company shipped a lot of goods to North Carolina Tuesday. A hundred or moro California editors and their wives will attend' the editorial convention Fiesta week. A PRIMER LESSON See the man 1 S?e how he kneels be-fore the la-dy. See how cold-ly she re-gards him. Sc tbe look of ag-o-ny on his face. Is he su-ing for her love and is she spurn-ing bim? Oli, no! He is not su-ing for her love. Why, then, does de-spair sit up-on bis face and cold dis-dain ou hes? Why, a,lso. does he kneel be-fore her? He kneels be-fore ~er be-cause he is a clerk in a shoe store. He is rois-er-able be-cause she says she we irs 3 its. She is cold be-cause he says he can lit her only in 5 Ds. Oh, see the man ! The Last Leaf OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES I law him once before, As lie passed by tlie door. And ajiiin The pavement stones resound As he tottered over tbe groutM With his cane. They say that in his prime, Ere the pinning knife uf time tut him dOWn, Not a better man was found By the crier on his round Through the town. Rut now lie walks the streets, And he looks at all be meets, .Sad and wan, And he shakes his feeble bead, That it seems as if lie said, •'They ars gone." The mossy marbles rest On the lips that he lias prest ' In their bloom. And the names he loved to hear Have been carved for many a year On the tomb. My grandmamma has said— I'oor old lady, she is dead Long ago- Tliat be bad a Itoman nose. Aud bis cheek was line a rose In the snow. But now bis nose is thin, And U rests upon bis chin Like a stiff. And a crook is in bis back, Aud a melancholy crack In his laugh. ' I know it is a sin For one to sit and grin At bim here, But ihe old three-cornered bat And ihe breeches and all that Are so queer! And if I should live to be The last leaf upon tbe tice In the apt ing, . Let them smile, as I do now, At the old forsaken bough Where I clituj. Or. Price's Cream Baking Powder World's Fair Highest Award. THE SALT LAKE ROAD a B. GORDON To the Editor of The Herald :—Although the Legislature has denied to the people of Los Angeles county the authority ot how to determine the amount of their several contributions to the building of the Los Angeles and Salt Like Railroad, there re mains to them still the right of voluntary concert*''! action, whereby they may effect this purpose, so important to all Southern California. Their financial resources are ample and are tlie same whether appealed to under the proposed ami defeated law or by individual voluntary subscription. The plan of voluntary subscription cannot suc ceed unless you can satisfy the subscribers not only that there will' be no loss to them or their subscriptions, but tbat there will be a reasonable and permanent income on the amounts they snail invest in the building of the road, This propo sition of no loss and a reasonable income is true, anil therefore the people along the line of the road from Salt Lake to the sea board can be convinced of its truth and will therefore respond with subscriptions to the capital stock in moderate sinus in dividually, but aggregating enough to bulid a considerable strip of the road from each end. When this is done capital all over the country seeking Investment call be successfully appealed fo by the same argument used to secure subscrip tions along the line of the road -that is, that the capital stock of the road is but a sate investment and also a reasonably profitable investment. Public spirit added to the financial argument will get the local subscriptions to start the work and push it tar enough to demonstrate our own faith in its merits, and tbat it is v living reality in actual process of con struction. This latter consideration will operate lo secure outside capital to finish the road, tlie same as public spirit did to initiate the work. But all tbis can be done in only one way, ami that is ou a plan that assumes as its basis that the project, is a meritor ious one, capable of lining the promise thai our Investment in it is safe and profitable. If tiie road is built for spot cash for all labor and material and its building ami management are character ized by business prudence, such as suc cessful men give to their private affairs, tlie capital stock will pay a yearly income of at least li per cent as regularly as the seasons and as long as grass grows and water runs; such stock will be as sure and safe as a United States Government bond, and will .- -11 for its par value. These fun lament il an 1 unchangeable terms must therefore lie incorporated in the organisation that i- to issue the stock and build the road: Pi ret, that no indebt edness is to be incurred, but that all its operations arc to be for ready cash; and. second, that the stockholders alone will own the road and all its belongings, free from incumbrances and from all prior claims—that is. tiiat no mortgage or other lien is to be placed on it or any preferred stock issued. The stockholders are to be and to continue the sole owners. When urging tlie Legislature to author ise the county to buii.l the road, we represented, nd truthfully, that it would be a profitable investment for the county, and on that basis alone we asked tile needed authority to proceed by law. Being refused, let intelligent voluntary co-operation, based on business consider ations and conducted on business meth ods, supply the lack of this pr posed law and accomplish the same purpose. DEFEAT OF THE SCALPERS' BILL SAN FRANCISCO lit HONICI.K The bearing which Governor Budd gave on Thursday to the advocates and op ponents of the ticket-scalpers bill proved to be very interesting. The railroad peo pic sent one of their best men up from the office in tbis city to speak in favor of the bill, and lie was reinforced by several conductors, wdio were instructed to repre sent that tbey were interested in the mat ter in their own behalf. But they were not allotted to have their own way by a long shot. By a lucky coincidence there arrived from the East George M. MoKensie, president of the American Ticket Brokers' Association, and it is not saying too much to assert that he put the railroad forces to a dis graceful rout. But matters would not have been differ ent apparently even if Mr. McKenzie bad not arrived. To the surprise of the rail road people, probably, and certainly to their discomfiture, Governor Budd dis closed that be fully understood the shallow pretenses of the railroad tbat they were seeking this legislation in the public in terests. By a few well-directed questions lie exposed the whole design ol the hill, lie snowed that be knew that the sole object is to prevent competition in local fares. There was one incident that occurred during the bearing that is worthy of par ticular attention. Mr. Koss. for tlie rail road, was unfortunate in referring to the difficulty under existing laws of convicting person- of altering tickets and all that and be referred to the case of Whiteside and Andross, tlie two cicrks who forged a lot of tickets in this city some two months ago and sold them to tbe Green wild Brothers. He complained that the Qreenwalds were not convicted. Governor Budd remarked that the difficulty was that the evidence against them was sim ply the evidence of the two dishonest clerks, who were aiming to escape them selves; that they, the clerks, could have been convicted, however. Mr. Ross then said that tlie cases were still pending against tbem. The reference to the case led the Chron icle to investigate the matter, and it was found that the cases are not pending against Whiteside and Andross. The com pany having used them in an endeavor to convict the ticket brokers, although they were confessedly the forgers, abandoned tbe prosecution when the brokers were acquitted, and they have now been dis charged from arrest. Governor Budd and the people are to be congratulated upon the outcome of the disgraceful affair at Sacramento, The veto of the bill should be a lesson to the railroad. OUT OF TIIE WAV FACTS It is said tbat tobacco seed will retain its vitality for eight or ten years. The raw silk from Kansas cocoons is said to be the best in the world. The Molucca islands have a combined area of 42,000 square miles, a little more than Ohio. The output of raw iron for the German empire during the year ism was 5;659.322 tons, an increase oi 606,174 tons over the output of 1893. In many instances Dulcb women carry their entire foriunes on their heads. Fe males ill very humble circumstances fre quently wear headgear worth several hun dred dollars. A surgeon on an Atlantic steamship line says that in bis wide experience he has found women on the whole cooler and more self-possessed than men in cases of disaster at sea. in the mountains of Sweden, Norway and Lapland all vegetation would be ut terly destroyed by the Norway rats were it not for the white foxes, that make spe cial game ot the rodents. In n Shinto temple one sees hundreds of little stone images of children, placed there by parents to secure the recovery of a sick child, if the prayer is granted a red bib is bung about the image's neck. Livery cloth is distributed annually, ac cordant to un old custom, by tbe London court of aldermen to the great officers of state. Four and a half yards of the best black oloth I aye been sent lately to the Lord Chancellor. Mr. J. it. Slayton, a farmer, of Bullock (anility, Ga., Cleared $13,000 last season on water lons. lie will plant sixty acres in melons tins year. Tlie pecan trots of 'I ex.is yield every year 0.000,000 pounds of nuts. '"'•<• sky is whiter over the cultivated th "..cultivated portions of th tee because a great, deal ot is present in the atUlOS pl rnier instance with tlie i"( 'ger proportion of while llK'.t <* ttlilHeel. REMEDIES FOR GRIPPE. The Paris Herald publishes a valuable article on the treatment of grippe by Dr. Charles Fauvel, a specialist in this complaint. Ag local treatment the nose is gently irrigated four times a day with a warm astringent liquid, which can best be done with an India rubber injector. Tlie solution injected should be at a temperature of about 100 degrees Fahren heit, or as warm as possible. Dr. Fauvel says: 'At each sitting two or three litres should be sent up each nostril. The following nre the formulae that succeed best: 1. Ho con centrated solution ;of black tea with a few drops of lemon Juice. 'I miU w»t*ri a tab.espoonful of white salt to a litre of water. 3. Chloral, 3 gins. Water. 300 gms. A tablespoonful to a litre of water. 4 Solutions of boric acid are also of great service. In addition to these injections it will be found very useful to have recourse to certain powtfers that can be snuffed up several times v day. The best formula is us follows: Bismuth 6 gms. Doric Acid II gms. Dr. Fauvel follows this up by local ap plications once a dny to the nose and post-nasal cavity of a few drops of the fol lowing preparation: t hloride of sIBO 1 gm Hydrochloric acid 30 drops Glycerine 30 qms Distills water ... 30gms riydrochlorate of coca'ne SOcgm As for general treatment he gives a glass of laxative water the first three days, with a drink of weak but. hot infusion of marrtlbium, and quiets the rough every hour with a tablespoon of the following mixture: Lettuce water lftO qms Orange flower water lOgmt < berry laurel water IO gins Syrup of tolu '20 qms Syrup of c-trlience '20 qms rpirils of miiidereus I qms '! iucture of anconlte 1 pm If the patient grows weak or is convales ing coca wine or coca liquor, with terpine (20 centigrammes of terpine per table spoonful of liquor) is recommended in doses of two to four tablespoonfuls a day. THE MOON A full moon reflects one three-thou sandth part of the sun s light. The height of mountains on the moon is measured by the length of the shadows tbey cast upon the plains. If you were on the moon the earth would appear to be sixty-four times larger than the sun does to residents of this planet. The moon is believed to be the only member of the planetary system which is wholly devoid of the least trace of an atmosphere. it is estimated that the light of a full moon is at least 300,000 times weaker than sunlight when the "great orb of day" is standing at meridian. Our moon weighs one eightieth (l-80th) as much at the earth. Xo other satellite in tbe solar system exceeds one one-thou sandth (l-100bth) of the weight of its planet, The moon is not so small as some peo ple have imagined. A recent astronomical calculation attributes to its surface an area fully as greut as that of Africa and Australia combined. The most powerful telescope now in use magnifies 2000 diameters. As the moon is 240,000 miles froni'the earth, it is thus, to all intents and purposes brought to within 120 miles of onr world. The 132,866 "craters" which have been disovercd on the moon, and which have long been supposed to be extinct volcanic tines, are now believed to have been caused oy a bombardment of aerolites. The month of February, 1886, was known among the lovers of the curious in nature as the "moonless" month, from tlie fact of it having no full moon. This cannot possibly occur more frequently than once each twelve and a half years, or eight times in a century. HOW HERR PALETTE MADE A FOOL OF HIS BEST GIRL'S FOXY MAMMA. THE LIARS' CLUB The pride of Cozzentown. Md., is a dog which reasons. At any rate, this dog had alwnvs been a stum eh Democrat until the extraordinary conduct of tbe late un lamentcd Congress compelled him, like So many others, to change his politics. Maje. the dog, is very fond of reading the papers, and when some one recently presented bim with a stray copy of the Hpringlield republican he barked his thanks nnd in stantly turned to the editorial page. As ie read, his disgust grew. At last, with ,« contemptuous sniff, he seized the offend ing sheet by one corner, dragged it into the house, and, marching right up to the open grate, stuffed the offending paper in. Tho intelligence of the so-called lower animals frequently puts to shame man's assumption that he is the only reasoning section of creation. Robert Hinckley ol Peoria hns a doc which has an uncon querable aversion to getting wot. Recently desiring to cross the river to save a detour of several miles, this intelligent animal set to work to build a raft. Dragging sticK after stick to the water's edge, he laid them side by side, afterward crossing them with others until he had built a raft, frail, indeed, but amply able to hub tain him. Then he pushed the raft into the water and jumped on. Paddling with fore anil hind paws together, he soon propelled himself across. Nor did the ani mal's foresight end even here, for, care fully towing the raft to a little bay, be se cured it until his return by laying one end of a fence rail upon it. n it n Near Nashville, Term., recently, a num ber of laborers at work repairing a bridge were astonished to behold a black arid sprawling object loom suddenly in the sky and plump down into the water be fore their eyes. Presently a man's head rose to the surface. They pulled the stranger out, when, polling-ana blowing tbe water from his month, he said: "Mornin', gents. Rather breezy today. Will any of yo be kind enough to tell me how fur lam from Kansas? "Cyclone?" inquired a workman. "Oh, no; not a cyclone exuetly; lived in Kansas ten years und never saw a cyclone; just a bit of high wind." GASTRONOMIC SCRAPS In Lent eggs ure like balloons—they go up. How to eat is just as important in this life as what to consume. Canned preen corn on the ear is not the great success anticipated. Pleached lettuce is more delicate to look upon than palatable. Switzerland produces almost as many cheeses as variety of watches. We are told that fruit before breakfast will prolong one's mortal life. Those who eat beefsteak for breakfast ought to do some manual labor. Americans who profess to like snails never cut down any cherry trees. . Peppermint water in tingerbowls is too suggestive of the dentists' parlor. One may cut an undesirable acquain tance, but never the lettuce leaves. In the line of caterers' nonsense the latest is called "Trilby" ice cream. An alleged English wrinkle is to eat fried bacon with any griddle cakes. Clam broth at afternoon teas may be said to have outlived its usefulness. Some one has said It requires an intel lectual person to properly eat viupes. From December to April no Philadelphia breakfast is complete without scrapple. Baker's bread would be healthier for all if it did not contain so much alum. Wedding cake has been more generously distributed this season than ever before. Children eat grape seeds and flourish; adults do the same and send for the doc tor. Refrigerated game is as satisfactory to the epicure as would be entrees of shav ings ami sawdust. Horseradish on raw oysters is said by some authorities to destroy whatever typhoid germs they may contain. Fried apples for breakfast, Southern style, makes one feel as if they had been steadily eating for forty-eight hours.