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The Herald The Herald Publishing Company WILLIAn A. SPALDINfJ, President and General Manager. 13S SOUTH BROADWAY Editorial department. Telephone 156. Business office. Telephone 247. RATES OF SUBSCRIPTION Dally, by carrier, per month 2 W Dally, by mail, one year 9 00 Dally, by mall, six montha 4 50 Dally, by mail, three months 2 25 Sunday Herald, by mall, one year 2 CO Weekly Herald, by mall, one year 1 00 POSTAGE RATES ON THE HERALD 4S pages 4 cents 32 page 5...,..2 cents X pages 3 cents 2S pages 2 cents 14 pages 2 cents 16 pages 2 cents 12 pages I cent EASTERN AGENTS FOR THE HERALD A. Frank Richardson. Tribune building. New York: Chamber of Commerce build ing. Chicago. LOS ANGELES DAILY HERALD SWORN STATEMENT CIRCULATION State of California, County of Loa Ange les— as. L. M. Holt, superintendent of circulation Of the Los Angeles Daily Herald, being llrst duly sworn, deposes and says: That for the five months from February 1. 1597, to June 30. 1597 (Inclusive), the total circu lation of the said Dally Herald was 1,290.035 copies, being an average dally circula tion ot sun 1. That the week-day circulation during the above time was 1,071,567, being a dally enrage of 8300 copies. That the Sunday circulation during the above time was 219.059. being an overage for eaeli Sunday of lo,4»l. L. M. HOLT, Superintendent of Circulation. Subscribed and sworn to before me this 19th day of July, 1597. FRANK J. COOPER, Notary Public In and for the County of Loa Angeles, State of California WEDNESDAY, DEt'EM HEX «». IK»T. OUR NEW YEAR'S EDITION The New Year's number, to be published next Sunday. January 2. ISPS, will be of in trinsic value to the Southern Californlan who appreciates the privilege of his cir cumstances and is anxious that they should be revealed to others. Next Sun day's issue will contain a number of In valuable articles on the native wealth of the land we live in. Well known experts will write of the many and varied resources and industries of Southern California, while every district of importance will re ceive Individual representation. Among the special contributors will be the following well known citizens, each of whom is eminently qualified to deal with the subject he has selected: JOHN ALTON on "Canalgre." HON. ROB T N. BULLA on "The State's Legislative Needs." PFOE. J. A. FOSHAY on "Public School Education." L. T. GARNSEY on "Deciduous Fruits." W. H. HOLABIRD on "Sugar Bee:s." HON. ABBOT KINNEY on "Arboricul ture." W. C. PATTERSON on "The City's and County's Needs." PROF. EDWARD T. PIERCE on "High er Education." A. H. NAFTZQER on "Citrus Fruits." BPURGEON V. RILEY on "County Schools." T. S. VAN DYKE on "The Rainfall of the Present Winter." HON. C. C. WRIGHT on "Irrigation." There will also be a number of bright ami attractively illustrated articles on "Cli mate and Health," "Ranching In the South," "Cost of an Orange Orchard." "The Olive." "Uur Wines." "Manufactures," "Mining." "The Discovery of Gold," "The Parka of Lor, Angeles," "Water Power." "Street Railroads," etc., etc. A large amount of advertising space in the issue of the 2J prox. has already been contracted for, and business men will do well to recog nize the opportunity In sufficient time to secure good positions. NEWS FROM THE KLONDIKE The Inns and anxious wait for reliable and definite news from the Klondike is at last relieved. A special dispatch to The Herald, published this morning, brings the latest intelligence from Daw son City, written just thirty-three days ago, and contains several surprises. Primarily, the food question is subordi nate to the Intense indignation felt by the Klondlkers at the mining regulations imposed by the Canadian government, which are freely denounced as unrea sonable and Indefensible, So heated be came the agitation that a representative delegation was to brave the terrors of the pitiless Arctic winter and to start for Ottawa before the sth of December to petition for relief. "There will be no famine," Is the posi tive assertion of our correspondent, and this fact, while evidently of secondary Importance to the Klondlkerat the mo ment, will relieve hundreds of anxious hearts directly interested and will ease the solicitude of the civilized world. DURRANT AND THE LAW The last appeal taken by Durrant's attorneys 1? the fifth, In one form or another, and the ordinary citizen un educated In the mists of the iaw and of the practice thereof may veil ask if there is any prospect that Durrant will ever be hanged. No s-nsible person would deprive a condemned criminal of his right to ap peal from the judgment of death against him. There may be, as there often are, errors In the proceedings of the. trial court by the commission of which the defendant has been deprived of a fair trial; or the trial court may have com mitted errors of raw In the admission of evidence, or In giving Instructions to the jury. In all these cases, and in many others, justice to the condemned man demands that he should have the right to appeal that these errors may be cor rected and his rights protected. The law jealously guards the rights of a man charged with the commission of a crime; it throws around him every protection consistent with his presumed Innocence and exacts from the state proof of his guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. When, therefore, a man charged with the commission of a crime has been tried and found guilty, and has had that Judgment reviewed and affirmed by the highest court of the state, it may he safely concluded that there is proof of his guilt and that he has had a perfectly fair and impartial trial. Innocent men, it is true, have been hanged and otherwise unjustly pun ished under the forms of judicial trials, but these cases, for the last hundred years, have been so few as to justly ex cite the wonder of jurists that under the somewhat arbitrary forms of practice of the law and under a system of juris prudence which it is not pretended af fords, in every case, exact justice, the safeguards of the law have been so care fully thrown around the Innocent man. that decades pass without giving just cause for complaint. It is not pretended that this last ap peal has the remotest bearing upon the merits of the case or upon the guilt or innocence of Durrant. These matters were settled two years ago. This appeal was taken, as everybody knows, for the mere purpose of delay, and nothing proves it better than the appeal itself. What are the grounds upon which it is taken? There are no grounds at all in law or in fact and it is taken with full knowledge that the judgment will be affirmed. Will there ever be an end to appeals? Probably not. Before the present appeal can be heard and decided the time fixed by the trial court for the execution of Durrant will have expired. This court will then be compelled to fix a new and later date for his execution. From this judgment another appeal can be taken and the farce kept up until our laws be come, if they are not already, the laugh ing stock of the world. AS AN ENGLISH ISSUE In his remarks at the Silver Repub lican club reception the other day, Mr. Altgeld prophesied that the chief issue in the approaching elections in England will be bimetallism. The present con dition of English public sentiment and the activity of those in charge of the movement fully justify the declaration. Prior to the withdrawal of the Franco- American ambassadors, a memorial was presented to the government, signed by 400 labor organizations representing an enormous membership, demanding that the ministry redeem its pledges to do all in its power to secure a staple par of exchange between gold and silver. This appeal was almost immediately followed by another, signed by upward of 1500 merchants and shippers, members of the Royal exchange of Manchester, to the same effect, only that this paper set out in detail the sufferings entailed upon millions of British subjects in the Lan cashire district by the monetary evils described. Within a radius of forty-five miles of the Manchester exchange there is a population of 7,000,000 souls, or near ly one-fourth the total population of England and Wales, and nearly all en gaged in industrial undertakings that have suffered directly and almost Im measurably by the depreciation and degradation of silver as an international exchange. The fact that five of the six members of parliament from this great Industrlal'center are blmetallists, elected upon that issue, is an earnest of the cath olic vitality of the silver sentiment, and an assurance that the agitation is not likely to speedily evaporate. The failure of negotiations for inter national concert does not seem to dis concert the friends of silver in England. United upon the single issue in the next electoral contest, it is far from improb able that they will be able to overturn the Salisbury ministry and compel a cer tain measure of respect for their views: on monetary questions. Progress in thul direction will be watched with more than ordinary interest by blmetallists on this side of the water. QUIT YOUR FOOLING The teapot tempest promoted by the jealous antagonism of the fire depart ment and the boiler inspector's office has broken out afresh. At the city hall, hourly bulletins are awaited with as much anxiety as news from China in the war offices of Europe. The first encounter between the op posing municipal powers resulted in v draw, with ft prospective advantage for the boiler inspector. The city attorney decided that the latter had the right to inspect the lire engine boilers, and that an imperative mandate rested upon tin inspector to examine all the boilers in the city. Here the matter has rested for several months. But now, the inspector says he is ready to inspect the fire en gine boilers at once. The chief looks wise and says he has had no orders from the lire commissioners to permit an in spection. It is further intimated that the firemen are a "husky set" and that "somebody may get thrown out" if an attempt is made to inspect the boilers. A physical encounter over the inspec tion matter really must not be tolerated. The firemen and the board of lire commissioners, as well as the employes of tho boiler inspector's office, should remem ber that they are servants of the city, LOS ANGELES HERALD: WEDNESDAY MORNING, DECEMBER 29, 1897 and that the fire engines are the private property of neither. The law saya that all boilers must be Inspected; the city attorney declares of ficially that the boiler Inspector should inspect them, leaving that official no op tion. The quarreling officials can set tle the matter In Aye minutes, In a man ner satisfactory to both, If they will abandon bombast and pugnacity and get together in a spirit of concession and common sense. THE DIFFERENCE "What has 'Steve 1 White done? Of what use Is he to California In the sen ate?" irritably exclaim the little snap pers on the Republican whip. Let the following extracts from an editorial In the Spokane Statesman-Review answer, by way of comparison: A bill appropriating $250,000 for an ad dition to the public building 1 at Los An geles passed the senate Monday, and like appropriations are being made from time to time for public buildings all over the west. It is exasperating that nothing has been done for Spokane in this line of congressional appropria tion. Senator Wilson has been holding out expectations ever since he entered congress eight years ago, but they have resulted In nothing, not even In the en tering wedge of an appropriation for a site. lie has been so wrapped up In the work of finding places for his political workers that he has lacked the time and disposition to engage In the work re quired to bring a public building to his home city, and the powers at Washing ton evidently feel that he has had "his share" in the way of spoils for his followers, and Is entitled to nothing else. It would be thought that with the array of facts at their command, the Washington delegation, three-fourths of the membership of which is from Spokane, ought to obtain the required appropriation. At all events, if the new members can make no greater headway in the next eight years than Senator Wilson has made In the past eight, they ought to send In their resignations. Several newspapers have com mented upon the good fortune of Los Angeles in getting a local appropriation bill through the senate so early in the session, and in the face of the financial stringency that exists In the treasury de partment. It was undoubtedly due to the great personal influence of Senator White that the bill was pasfed. An ur gent need of the appropriation exists, It is true, but the same condition applies to other cities that have not been so successful. Senator White is in his first term, but there is not one of the younger senators who excels him in general ability and In fluence, while he has the respect and confidence of all his colleagues. He Is an acknowledged power in the upper branch of congress. The people of Cali fornia would deliberately antagonize their own interests should they forward Senator White's retirement to private life at the expiration of his present term. LONG ON LEGISLATION The hasty action of the present con gress in passing the bill to prohibit pela gic sealing in Bering sea was in re sponse to administration pressure, it being plausibly urged that this coun try could with better grace ask the co operation of Great Britain after it had placed upon its own statute books some record of its good intentions In the premises. Now that Lord Salisbury has declined to act for Canada, and that country has refused to adopt similar regulations for the protection of theseai herd, our government will not be ex pected to put forth extra-officious efforts for the enforcement of the new law, since that would be tantamount to the policing of Bering sea in the interest of Canadian fishermen. Just what action the Washington authorities will now deem wise and statesmanlike Is matter for conjecture. A repeal by congress of an act passed but two weeks ago would scarcely be considered a dignfled pro ceeding. The probabilities are that it will be held in abeyance, pending nego tiations for a better understanding be tween the governments most directly concerned. WEBB ACQUITTED Walter L. Webb was yesterday ac quitted of the charge of malfeasance in office by a jury in Judge Van Dyke's; court. The verdict was not unexpected by those who have followed the case in the court from its beginning. Nor will it change the opinion of the great ma jority of the community regarding tin accused man's guilt. The disgusting exhibition that the miserable Adamv made of himself on the witness stand, while it must have had its effect In reaching the verdict, did not tend to even whitewash the dictator of th. Solid .Six. The jury simply could not convict upon the evidence presented. The district attorney's office, as was also expected, did not cover itself with honor and glory in conducting the pros ecution. This fact must have struck the district attorney himself, for he de voted a considerable part of his closing argument to a defense of the manner in which he had managed the case. THE CHARTER ELECTION The good government cause seems to have won in the election for freeholders in San Francisco. Every nominee on the charter convention ticket was elect ed by a large majority, while the fusion ticket was trailed in the dust in Its en tirety. The taint of political and cor poration bossism attached to the fusion tic ket to no small degree, and there was a general feeling that the interests of the people could not be safely trusted to its membership. The charter conven tion ticket was supported by the Exam iner, which may well feel happy over the result of the election. The Manitoba Free Press, in the course of an article on the sealing question, de clares that in many ot the publio. school* of this country Is posted the shockingly Immoral sentiment, "The American Flag, Right or Wrong." This will be news to everybody on this side of the line. Our esteemed though frigid contemporary has evidently confounded the sentiment with one which we all recognize, but which Isn't displayed In bhe school rooms, to-wit: "The Old Flag and an Appropriation." Some school di rectors are familiar with this ultra- American fad. Young Mr. Letter is entitled to all that can be cleaned up In his late esteemed wheat deal, but public sentiment will be suspended upon his claim to have been Inspired In his movements all through the deal by a lofty ambition to help the farmers. The country will be disposed to settle with Mr. Leiter on a cash ba sis. The persistency of the president In de manding action upon currency reform by the extra session Is now explained. He was pretty comfortable with Gage in the absence of Woleott, but the two dear charmers are rather too much for executive serenity. Prince Henry is on a royal mission only in this country we should be tempted to denominate it a junketing tour, and partisan newspapers would be speculating as to how many votes he probably made by his demonstration at Gibralter. The emperor of China is evidently again suffering from indigestion, since he has once more stripped LI Hung Chang of his decorations and reduced him to the ranks. Li has ever done duty as a vicarious sacrifice? for his royal master. In its efforts to relieve the starving miners in the Yukon the government has made but one mistake. It should have sent the supplies in by the hands of Corbett and Fitzsimmons. That would have afforded relief to both ends of the line. Secretary Alger has abandoned his at tempt to manage the several depart ments of the government, and will now permit the other chiefs to share in the responsibilities of place. Alger's doctor is suspected of having intervened. The reported resignation of Secretary Gage was yesterday authoritatively de- nled. The report is, however, believed to be only a trifle premature. An early retirement of the Chicago banker is the logical result of the situation. In selecting a superintendent of cen sus the administration should give pref erence to the young men. There may be some advantage in having for super intendent of this work a person with some chance of surviving it. Civil service reform does not seem to obtain in Korea. At all events, the Brit ish commissioner of customs seems to have been let out unceremoniously, without preference for reinstatement. » . ♦ Cigar dealers are chuckling over the reduction of their unsalable stocks to the women, God bless 'em, who wanted to make really acceptable and useful presents to their husbands, dear men. Our school children are advised that the maps in their geographies are not necessarily immutable. In the language of the proverbial price list, they are "subject to change without notice." To get any part of the relief appropri ated by congress, you must get over the pass and down into the Yukon valley before Alger's reindeers reach there. But that may not be so difficult. Dollar wheat has protected the gold reserve, no more bonds are in sight, and J. P. Morgan feels so poor that he has decided to go into the retail coal busi ness, poor man. The demand of the hour in Japan is a strong ministry, the old one having yes terday resigned in a body. Some strong fortifications may also be in demand a little later. Every third man in New York city is idle, except for the efforts put forth to discover just how much he profited by voting for McKinley and prosperity last year. The chamber of commerce might send a box of oranges to Secretary Wilson, as an evidence of the success of citrus fruit culture at this experimental sta tion. Secretary Gage's Idea of bimetallism comprehends the joint use of the two metals, one as money and the other for stopping the cracks. Dr. Nansen pronounces as impractica ble Mr. Alger's scheme of reindeer re lief. Can a secretary of war be mis taken? The classified service will not be ex tended by the present administration. This is final, official and irrevocable. The Post-Dispatch declares that St. Louis must save her grain trade. Well, let her rig out a battleship. The first duty of the administration after the holidays will be to pacify Chandler. The president may pardon Mr. Singerly —the people won't. "THE YEAR BURNS LOW" The year burns low and the wind runs high, And withered leaves go whirling by; So. since the signal sounds, I cry, "Oh, love, come forth from me, and die!" The fair leaves, letting the stripped boughs be, Drop, and drift from the weather-worn tree; Oh. love, too fair to belong to me. Fall from my heart and set me free! The sky Is heavy with clouds like herds. With ruinous leaves, and bevy of birds; Karth her breast for the burial girds; Oh, love, be loving with farewell words! And, going, for pity on kind days slain, Close fast the door upon all my pain: Lest sorrow, and loss, and life bp vain, And spring come back—and I love again! Fall Mall Gazette. He Said Enough This business of hung juries that causes the county so much expense Is becoming very monotonous. We have had the Compton case, which Is one of the most notorious on record, and the Crandall case, that has passed under the ventilating process Inaugurated by Dep uty District Attorney McComas, as re freshing as the other. Yesterday there was a conversation between reporters and lawyers In the district attorney's office which turned upon the subject and the unsophisticated mind of the average Juryman. A laugh ing reference was made to the foreman In the Crandall jury, who being asked last Friday by the court how they stood as to numbers without mentioning whether it was for acquittal or convic tion, Immediately blurted out: "Eight for guilty; four not guilty," and remained standing with wonder staring out of his eyes when everybody In the court room laughed. "Oh," said Deputy District Attorney Willis, "that is nothing. It is not un usual to have jurors bluntly tell Just what they are ordered to conceal. I re member a criminal case was on trial be fore Judge Shaw In Department five. Louis Polaski, whom you all know, was the foreman. The Jury had been out for a long time, but it seemed impossible for them to reach an agreement. "After a very long time had passed by without hearing from the jury room Judge Shaw ordered the bailiff to bring in the twelve good men and true. When they had taken their seats in the box and had acknowledged that they had not yet agreed the court spoke up: " 'Gentlemen, what seems to be the matter? Is lt on matters of law or of facts that you cannot agree, and how are you divided as to numbers?' " 'Well, your honor,' said Foreman Po laski, rising in his place, 'I will tell you. The trouble with the Jury Is that there are eleven wise men on it and one damn fool. We have been trying to convince him, but it is no use. We might yoost as well talk mit a mule. I think the de fendant is guilty all right enough—' "The court stopped Mr. Polaski before he could say any more, but he had al ready spoken to the point, and the au dience howled." K. HOLIDAY EDITIONS The San Diegan-Sun sends out a Christ mas number with an Illuminated cover. The Merchants' association of New York has issued a timely "Guide Map of New- York City (Greater New York)." "Where Grow the Best Olives?" Is the title of a neatly printed and handsomely illustrated brochure by Hubert Howe Ban croft, giving much timely and valuable information. What Some of Us Earn Mr. Gladstone's price for a review is $1000. Conan Doyle received $25,000 for "Rod- ney Stone." Ruskin's sixty-four books bring him In $20,000 a year. Swinburne, who writes very little, makes $5000 a year by his poems. Anthony Hope charges $450 for a maga zine story, reserving the copyright. Browning, in his later years, drew $10,000 a year from the sale of his works. Lan Maclaren made $35,000 out of "The Botyiie Brie,r Bush" and "Auld Lang Syne." Tennyson is said to have received $50,000 a year from the Maemlilans during the last years of his life. Zola's first fourteen books returned him $220,000. and In twenty years he has made at least $375,000. Mrr,. Humphrey Ward received $10,000 for "Robert Elsmere." $80,000 each for "David Grieve" and "Marcella." $75,000 for "Sir George Tressady" and $15,000 for "Bessie Costrell." Mr. Moody Is believed to have beaten all others, as more than $1,250,000 has been paid In royalties for the Gospel hymns and tunes issued by him In conjunction with Mr. Sankey. Rider Haggard asks from $75 to $1000 a column of 1500 words, and will not write an article for which less than $10,000 Is to be paid.—Philadelphia Press. Strategy A tramp entered the shop of a London baker. Although tho weather was not very cold, he shivered and trembled pite ously. "A loaf, please, mum." he said, deposit ing the money on the counter. The woman lifted one from a shelf and having wrapped it In paper, handed It to him. As he took lt he said, with shaking voice: "Would you please, mum, tell me where the nearest 'orsplte] Is?" "The nearest hospital?" she ejaculated. "Yes. mum. please. I'm feeling very bad. I believe I'm sickening for some thing—the scarlet fever. I think." "What!" she shrieked. "Get out of my shop, you villain!" He turned submissively to obey. "Here, take your vile money." she cried. He did so: then, proffering the bread, asked hum bly: "You'll take back your loaf, won't yer. mum?" "Get out of my shop!" He crawled out. and with bowed head went around the corner. Presently a twin monument of wretchedness came toward him. "Well. Bill?" he said. "It's all right, old Fluffer. I worked It a bloomin' knock."—Pick Me Up. Pointed Paragraphs The man who tells you he Is no fool may be only mistaken. The barber Is the only man who does headwork with his hands. The mercury never gets warm In Its ef forts to lower the record. It was originally intended to have sheet music sung by the choir. Some men act like hogs, and there are others who do not need to act. The horseles.s carriage is a novelty, but the cowless milk wagon is a chestnut. The longer a man is married the less he dodges when his wlfo throws things at him. The most pitiful objects In this world are glr'.s who act like men and men who act like girls. Some married couples are so quarrelsome that they dare not sit near the open win dow for fear of falling out. The hotel clerk who puts on a brilliant front Is not the only pebble. A great many newspaper men use paste too.—Chi cago News. Reflections of a Bachelor It's a funny thing to think that In Noah's time Ham was no funnier a name than Japhet. The longer a man lives the more Incidents of his boyhood he remembers that niever happened. A woman may know best how to hold a baby, but lt takes a man to know how to hold a woman. A child's main object In life Is to do things, a woman's to see things, and a man's to have things. The woman who pays less for love than lt costs will generally find that she has paid more for it than it is worth. When an old bachelor writes a poem There's r A Charm J ""Vl. About having money. When you get it you nat urally want to make it go as far as possible. Helping you stretch it out is just what we are doing. More so at the present time, when we have several Suits and Overcoats which are an assort ment of sizes from regular lines. We know just how badly we want to get rid of them, and if you will just call in at this busy corner we will . . Show Them to You 201-203-203-207-209 West First St. . Olenwood Ranges Made In all the desirable Styles and Sizes, to use either Wood or < 1 Coal. Complete in every detail, having all the Modern Improve- 1> ej ments to be found on the highest-grade cooking apparatus are < I m acknowledged the best ever offered to the public (I \ W. C. FURREY CO., Sole Agents ij 4 137-101 North Spring Street 2 V^eveveytA/ey%^ > /*vfve>%^4 Akron Furniture Co.. «&&S$ f 6 ™™tion (ivea to faraUhiag ]> 6 homes where EXCELLENCE ii desired et SMALL EXPENSE. ] J g Telephone M«lnlM«. AKRON FURNITURE CO., 441 S. Consumption Cured.. DR. W. HARRISON BALLARD wm ~o,ea, 406 stjmsori Block, Cor ,»X™* 8 * about a girl that Is dead, the women say It is a pretty little thing; when a man writes one who has lost his wife it Is called a "heart-throb."—New York Press. He Knew His Business A bright little boy—one of the pages of the senate—sat at one of the senate en trances the other day, when a lady ap proached him with a visiting card In her hand. "Will you hand this to Senator Blank?" she said. "I cannot," replied the boy, "for all cards must be taken to the east lobby." The woman was inclined to be angry, and went away muttering. Then a thought struck her, and taking out her pocketbook she found a'2s-cent piece. With it In her hand she went back to tho boy. "Here, my lad," she said in a coaxing tone, "here is v quarter to tako my card in." "Madame." said the boy, without a mo ment's hesitation, "I am paid a larger sal ary than that to keep cards out."—Wash ington Post. The Bloodsucking Pension Attorney Fastened upon the body of nearly 1.000.000 men and women drawing pensions from the treasury there Is a leech of tremen dous appetite. It drew out of the pension ers during the last fiscal year more than $300,000 in fees for obtaining new pensions and Increasing old ones. It Is a most In genious and Insatiable creature. It Is about as little necessary now In the pension ser vice of the government as the leech Is in medicine. And it is scarcely less repulsive to contemplate than the slimy Woodsucker of the old-fashioned practitioner—Now York Times. Missouri's Lead in Mules Missouri has a lead in mules that cannot be taken from her. Not only In quality, but In quantity. Is Missouri supreme as to mules. The largest muie In the world Is vow on the road from Missouri to London for exhibition, and when In the capital of the British empire this giant arranges his auricular organs at the proper angle and lifts his noble and resounding voice, Mis souri will be advertised and glorified as thou 0 nils of Queen Victoria's subjests ejaculate, "'Ear 'im!"—Kansas City Star. The Thrifty Explorer "Do you know why It Is that so many explorers seek the Arctic and so few the Antarctic regions?" "Well, I think I could make a pretty good guess." "Why?" "The Arctic regions are not quite so far away from the headquarters of the mana gers of the lecture bureaus."—Chicago Post. No Girl Wants Him "I wouldn't marry the best man who ever lived," she exclaimed. "Poor fellow!" murmured he; "nobody seems to want that best man. What en couragement Ls there, anyway, for a man to be better than the common herd?"— Bo ston Transcript. Deserved "Have you been reading about the spots on the sun?" asked the young man. "No," replied the ex-summer girl, "but I'm glad the old thing has a few freckles himself nnd can see how he likes it."— Washington Star. Force of Habit "Did you ever notice the queer, rotary gesture Mr. Chllkoot always makes when his wife rings for the butler 7" "Yes; you see, he used to be a motorman before he went to Klondike."—Boston Traveler. The Misled Foreigner "As I understand it," said the struggling foreigner, "the word gent is merely a con traction for gentleman." "Then you don't understand It," an swered the native.—lndianapolis Journal. Neither American Nor Intelligent A foreign policy which refuses to free Cuba and gobbles up Hawaii against the wish of the population Is not American. It Is not even Intelligent.—Pittsburg Dis patch. Still More Protection Needed From the complaint of the New Eng land cotton manufacturers tt Is to be In ferred that they need a protective tariff against the south.— Indianapolis News. IN THE PUBLIC EYE Four young ladies were elected to of fice In Kansas this fall. They are Nettle Bonham, registrar of deeds In Meade county; Kate Johnson, treasurer of Nor ton county; Stella Strait, registrar of Bourbon county, and Delia Leslie, county clerk of Brown county. Miss Li. M. Johnson, M. D.. Baltimore, has just been admitted as a student to the Maryland College ot Pharmacy. She Is the first woman to be admitted since the estab lishment of the college In 1841.. President Krueger has presented a rare specimen of native gold to the Royal Geo logical museum at Berlin. The gift Is said to be worth about $1600. General Francis H. Appleton of Boston has been re-elected president of the Amer ican Forestry association. Professor Momms*n of Berlin, who has Just celebrated his eightieth birthday, 4a very absent-minded. On one oocaslon his little son was traveling In a tramcar from his home to Charlottenburg. Mommsen. sunk In abstraction, failed to recognise the boy, told him not to make so much noise In a public tramcar and finished by asking his name. It Is rumored in art circles that the col lection of oriental porcelains, pottery and pictures mode by Charles A. Dana 1* to be sold at auction early In the year. Mr. Dana owned at the time of his death probably the largest and most valuable collection of ori ental pottery and porcelains in America, with but one exception. Paris Is beginning to grow very tired of Cleo de Merode, whose failure in New York is still being commented on. She has been exploited so highly and done so very little that her name Is already bglnnlng to wear out. The reviews at the concert halls are beginning to burlesque the young lady and that will probably end the whole affair. . Edward A. Gibbon, who has Just died In the City of Mexico, was one of the secreta ries of the Emperor Moxlmllllan. Later, under the republic, he served as Mexican secretary of legation In England and later in the United States. He was an author of no small merit. The pope does his private writing with a pen, but his pontifical signature Is always given with a white-feathered quill, which is believed to have come from the wing of a dove, though persons who have seen It say its origin must have been a larger bird. The same quill has been in use for more than forty years. It serves only for Important occasions, and is kept In an Ivory cose. At a New England society dinner sorts years ago Mark Twain had Just finished a piquant address when Mr. Evarts arose, shoved both of his hands down In his troua-. ers pockets, as was his habit, and laugh ingly remarked: "Doesn't lt strike this company as a little unusual that a pro fessional humorist should be funny?" Mark Twain waited until the laughter eg cited by this sally had subsided and then drawled out: "Doesn't lt strike this com. pany as a little unusual that a lawyer should have his hands In his own pock ets?" Avoiding Unnecessary Repetition The man in Louisville who was attacked twice by highwaymen in walking a short distance was responsible for a waste Of professional labor, as nothing was left for the second gang. Highway robbery has be come so common that a victim should be given a check to wear In his hatband to prevent a useless repetition on the neat block.—St. Louis Globe-Democrat. River Nile Not Destructive The river Nile has its rises, but those that do mischief are not frequent. During the last 1000 years there has been only one sudden rise of the Nile, that of 1829, when 30,000 people were drowned. Train Hold-ups in Siberia Russian papers complain that the Slber- . lan railway, Instead of civilizing the re» glons through which lt passes, is teaching the natives the art of robbing trains, which Is greatly in vogue. Slight Misapprehension "Thank the Lord," exclaimed the old Inhabitant, "wo won't have to buy any more postage stamps; the government la goin' ter give us free delivery."—Atlanta Constitution. Just as Good "Ah, James, you've broken all the good resolutions you made." "Yes, sir; but I shall make other! tytifte) aa good."—Knozvllle Journal.