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The herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1893-1900, April 10, 1898, Image 20

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[Copyright, ISPS, by Garrett P. Servlss.)
The inventive genius of Thomas A. Edi
son makes possible an attack of the eaitn
upon Mars. This is dune to prevent a sec
ond invasion of the Martians, whoi aw
trying to relieve their overpopulatea
planet; the lirst having failed throughi tn<
Creaking out of disease ami not human ei
fort. lidison invents a practical electrical
airship, aud an engine ol destruction
called the "Disintegrator" which win
cause the constituent particles ol any ou
jedt at which it may be directed to so
vibrate that ibc object will be Immj mat -
ly and completely dispersed. A large neei
of airships armed with disintegrators and
manned by two thousand men. amoio.
whom arc many famous scientists, sew
out. The Meet arrived above thei lana 01
Hellas, on .Mars, and finds a host or air
ships on the watch. Tbe Martians, who
are of giant stature, human In form,
but of repulsive aspect, covet »•»
planet with a thick cloud of smoKe.
which the visitors pierce with tneir
disintegrators. The Martians hunch
their thunderbolts, and do much damage
to the Edison fleet, which finally urops
beneath the smoke curtain and engages
the enemy. In their ships. In close com
bat The destruction is awlul both on
land nnd in the air, and the ships Horn
the earth withdraw but sixty in number.
The next move is a strategic plan pro
posed by Colonel Smith, an army officer.
The majority et the shins are concen
trated at a certain point where the atten
tion of the Martians is held, while a few
are sent to the other side of the planet to
effect a landing. Colonel Smiths ship
descends near a large building, ihe Col
onel and the narrator, entering, are
amazed to find a young girl—a human be
ing—playing on a strange Instrument lor
the amusement of several Martians. Hie
latter arc quickly dispatched with disin
tegrators, and the girl is taken hack to
the main squadron. Although none
can understand the girl, It is per
ceived that her language is of hu
man origin. The whole squadron re
pairs to the farther moon of Mars, Del
mos, in order to give the linguists of the
party time to acquire the girl s speech,
for Mr. Edison be lieves that she can give
them informal ion that will lead to a suc
cessful routing of the enemy. After three
weeks spent on Deirnos. out of sight ol
Mars, the linguists are aide to understand
Alna's story. Her ancestors were brought
from the earth in a previous invasion of
the earth by the Martians about 9,000
years ago. From the girl's remarkable
narrative it would appear that the Mar
tians had visited Egypt and had built
the Pyramids and the Sphinx. Alna's
forefathers were carried back te> Mars,
and they and their descendants had been
kept in slavery until, with the exception
of Aina, they were all massacred on tbe
arrival of the fleet from the earth. Aina
discloses a way by which the Martians
can be drowned out. To do this it will be
necessary to enter a strongly guarded
building which contains the mechanism
that controls an art.iticial disposition of
tho waters of the oceans and seas of the
planet. By turning these Into their nat
ural channel the continents will be flood
ed, because much of the land is below the
level of the sea. Returning from Delmos,
a party, consisting of the narrator, Mr.
Ellison. Colonel Smith. Sidney Phillips
and Aina, descends near the building and
succeeds in accomplishing its purpose
After barely reaching their ship In safety,
they watch the oncoming flood that over
spreads the land. The Martian forces
appear in their airships, but after a short
contest they are put to night. The in
vaders calculate that in two days the wa
ters will reaclf the land of Thaumasia,
tbe center of population; so they set oul
to watch tbe awful destruction that Will
there take pluee. As they go they s.-,.
the .Martians fleeing before the flood, but.
except those who escape ln airships and
those who are able to reach what slight
elevations there are on the time-leveled
planet, all go down before the deluge,
The waters reach Tbj&Umasia, and the
great city on the .Lake of the Sun is ex
We now turned our ships toward the
southern border of the land, follow
ing the direction of the air ships car
rying the fugitives, a few of which
were still navigating the atmosphere a
mile beneath us.
We pursued our way rapidly until
we arrived at the shore-of the Southern
Ocean. There, as we bud expected,
was to be seen a narrow strip , f land
with the ocean on one side and the
raging Hood seeking to destroy it on
the other, ln some places it bud Leen
already broken through, so that the
ocean wus flowing in to assist in the
drowning of Thaumasia.
But some parts of the coast were evi
dently so elevated that no matter how
high the Hood might rise it would not
completely cover them. Here the fugi
tives hail gathered in dense throngs
and above them hovered most of the
air ships, loaded down with others
who were unable to find room upon the
dry bind.
On one of the loftiest and broadest
of those elevations we noticed Indica
tions of military order in the align
ment of the crowds, ami the shore all
round was guarded by gigantic pickets,
who mercilessly shoved back into the
flood all the; later comers, and thus pre
vented a too gnat crowding upon the
land. In the center of this elevation
rose a palatial structure of red metal
which Aina informed us was one of the
residences of tin.- Emperor, and we con
cluded that the monarch himself war,
now present there.
The absence of any signs of resist
ance on the part of tin- air ships, and
the complete drowning of all the for
midable fortifications on the surface of
the planet, convinced us Hiul all we
had now to do in order to complete
our conquest was to get possession of
the person of the chief ruler.
The fleet was, accordingly, concen
trated, and we rapidly approached the
great Martian palace. As we came
down within v hundred feet of them
and boldly made our way among tie ir
air ships, which retreated at our ap
proach, the Martians gnze.l at us with
mingled fear and astonishment.
We were their conquerers, and they
knew it. Wo were coming to demand
their surrender, und they evidently un
derstood that also. As we approached
the palace, signals were made from
it with brilliantly colored banners
which Ainu informed us wt re intend
ed as a token of trine.
"We shall have to go down and have
a confab with them, I suppose," said
Mr. Edison. "We can't kill them off,
sow that they are helpless, but we
must manage somehow to make them
understand that unconditional sur
render is their only chance."
"Let us take Aina with us," l sug
tcsted. "and since she can speak the
Garrett P.Serviss
language of the Martians we shall
j.reliably have no difficulty in arriving
at an understanding"."
Accordingly the ling ship was care
fully brought further down In front of
the entrance to the palace, which had
been kept clear by the Martian guards,
nnd while the remainder of the squad
ron assembled within a few feet, direct
ly over our heads, with the disintegra
tors turned upon the palace and the
crowd below, Mr, Edison and myself,
accompanied by Aina, stepped out
upon the ground.
There was a forward movement in
the immense crowd, but the guards
sternly kept everybody back. A party
of a dozen giants, preceded by one who
seemed to be their commander, gor
geously attired in jeweled garments,
advanced from the entrance of the
palace to meet us. Aina addressed a
few words to the leader, who replied
sternly, and then, beckoning us to fol
low, retraced bis steps into the pal
Notwithstanding our confidence that
all resistance had ceased, we did not
deem it wise actually to venture into
the lion's den without having taken
every precaution against a surprise.
Accordingly, before following the Mar
tian into the palace, we had twenty of
the electrical ships moored around it in
such positions that they commanded
not only the entrance but all of the
principal windows, and then a party
of forty picked men. each doubly
armed With powerful disintegrators,
was selected to attend us Into the
building. This party was placed un
der the command of Colonel Smith,
nnd Sidney Phillips insisted on being a
member of it.
In the meantime the Martian with
his attendants who had first invited
us to enter, finding that we did not fol
low him, had returned to the front of
the palace. He saw the disposition that
we had made of our forces, and in
stantly comprehended its signitieanee.
for his manner changed somewhat, and
he seemed more desirous than before to
conciliate us.
W'lu n he again beckoned us to enter,
we unhesitatingly followed him. and,
passing through the magnificent en
trance, found ourselves ln a vast an
te-chamber, adorned after the manner
of the Martians In the most expensive
manner. Thence we passed into a
great circular apartment a dome
painted in imitation of the sI.V. and so
lofty that to our eyes it seemed like
the Armament itself. Here we found
ourselves approaching an elevated
throne situated in the center of the
apartment, while long rows of bril
liantly armored guards Hanked us on
either side, and. grouped around the
throne, some standing and others re
clining upon the flights of steps which
appeared to be of solid gold, was an
array of Martian women, beautifully
and becomingly attired, a.ll of whom
greatly astonished us by the singular
charm of their faces and bearing, so
different from the aspect of most of
the Martians whom we had already en
Despite their Ftature —for these
women averaged twelve or thirteen
feet in height—the beauty of their
complexions, of a dark, olive tint,
was no less brilliant than that of the
women of Italy or Spain.
At the top of the steps on a magnifi
cent golden throne, sat the Emperor
himself. There are some busts of Car
acalla which I have seen that are al
most as ugly as the face of the Martian
ruler. He was of gigantic stature,
larger than the majority of his sub
jects, and as near as 1 could judge
must have been between fifteen and
sixteen feet in height.
I bad learned from Aina that Mars
was under military government, and
tbut the military class bad absolute
control of the planet. I was somewhat
startled, then, in looking at the head
and center of the groat military sys
tem of Mars to find in his appearance
a striking confirmation of the specula
tions of our terrestrial phrenologists.
His broad, misshapen head bulged j n
those parts where they have placed
the so-called organs of combativeness,
destrttctlveness. etc.
Plainly, this was an effect of his
training and education. His very brain
had become a military engine; and the
aspect of his face) the pitiless lines of
his mouth and chin, the evil glare of
his eyes, the attitude and carriage of
his muscular body, all tended to com
plete the warlike ensemble.
lie was magnificently dressed in
some vesture that had the luster of a
polished plate of gold with the supple
ness of velvet. As we approached he
fixed his immense, deep-set eyes stern
ly upon our faces.
Mr. Edison, Colonel Smith, Sidney
Phillips, Aina, and myself, advanced
at the head of the procession, our
guard following in close order behind
us. it had 1 n evident from the mo
ment that we • ntered the palace that
Aina was regarded with aversion by
all id' the- Martians. Even the women
about the throne gazed seowlingly at
her as we drew mar. Apparently, the
bitterness of feeling which had led to
the awful massacre of all her race had
not yet vanished.
It was char to me that the feeling
aroused by her appearance was every
moment becoming mure intense. Still,
the thought of a violent outbreak did
not occur to me, because our recent
triumph had seemed so complete that
i believed the Martians would be awed
by our presence, and would not un
dertake actually to injure the girl.
I think we all bail the same impres
sion, but as the event proved, we were
Suddenly one of the gigantic guards,
as if actuated by a lit of ungovernable
hatred, lifted .his foot and kicked
Aina. With a "loud shriek she fell to
the lloor.
The blow was so unexpected that
for a second we all remained riveted
to the spot. Then I saw Colonel
Smith's face turn livid, and at the
same instant heard the whirr of his
disintegrator, while Sidney rhillips,
forgetting the deadly instrument that
he carried in his hand, sprang madly
toward the brute who had kicked Aina,
as if he intended to throttle him,
colossus as lie was.
But Colonel Smith's aim, though in
stantaneously taken, as he hnd been
accustomed to shoot on the plains, was
true, and Phillips, plunging madly for
ward, seemed wreathed In a faint blue
mist—all that the disintegrator had
left of the gigantic Martian.
Who could adequately describe the
scene that followed?
I remember that the Martian Emper
or sprang to his feet, looking tenfold
more terrible than before. I remember
that there instantly burst from the
line of guards on either side crinkling
beams of death-lire that seemed to
sear the eyeballs. 1 saw half a dozen
of our men fall in heaps of ashes, and
event at that terrific moment 1 had
time to wonder that a single one of us
remained alive.
Rather by instinct than in conse
quence of any order given, we formed
ourselves In a hollow square, with Aina
lying apparently lifeless in the center,
und then with gritted teeth we did our
The lines of guards melted before the
disintegrators like rows of snow men
before a licking Untie.
Tho discharge of the lightning en
gines In the hands of the Martians in
that confined space made an uproar so
tremendous that It seemed to pass the
bounds of human sense.
More of our men fell before their
awful fire, and for the second time
since our arrival on this dreadful
planet of war our annihilation seemed
But in a moment the whole scene
changed. Suddenly there was a dis
charge into the room which I knew
came from one of the disintegrators
Of the electrical ships. It swept through
the crowded throng like a de
stroying blast. Instantly from another
side swished a BecorurJ discharge, no
less destructive, and this was quickly
followed by a third. Our ships were
tiring through the windows.
Almost at the same moment I saw
the flagship, which had been moored
in the air close to the entrance and
floating only three or four feet above
the ground, pushing its way through
Colonel Smith's Aim, Thou?;!. Instantaneously Taken, Was True.
the gigantic doorway from the ante
room, with its great disintegrators
pointed upon the crowd like the muz
zles of B cruiser's guns.
And now the Martians saw that the
contest was hopeless for them, and
their mad struggle to get out of the
range of the disintegrators and to es
cape from the death chamber, was
more appalling to look upon than any
thing tluit had yet occurred.
Still the pitiless disintegrators played
upon them until Mr. Edison, making
himself heard, now that the thunder
of their engines had ceased to rever
berate through the chamber, com
manded thai our lire should cease.
Through all this terrible contest the
Emperor of the .Martians had remained
standing upon his throne, gazing at
the awful spectacle and not moving
from the spot. Neither he nor the
frightened women gathered upon the
steps of the throne had been injured
by the disintegrators. Their immunity
was due to the fact that the position
and elevation of the throne were such
that it was not within the range of
fire of the electrical ships which had
poured their vibratory discharges
through the windows, and we inside
bad only directed our fire toward the
warriors w ho had attacked us.
Now that the struggle was over we
turned our attention to Aina. Fortun
ately the girl had not been seriously in
jured, and she was quickly restored to
consciousness. Hud she been killed
we would have been helpless ln at
tempting fur'her negotiations. 4
When the Martian monarchVsaw that
we had ceased the work of death, he
sank upon his throne. There he re
mained, leaning his chin upon his two
hands and staring straight before him
like that terrible doomed creature who
fascinates the eyes of every beholder
standing in the Sletine Chapel and
gazing at Michael Angelo's dreadful
painting of "The Last Judgment."
This wicked Martian also felt that
he was in the grasj. of pitiless and ir
resistible fate and that a punishment
too well deserved and from which
there was ro possible escape, now con
fronted him. •
There he remained in a despair
which almost compelled our sympathy,
until Aina had so far recovered that
she wus once more able to act as our
interpreter. Then We made short
work of the negotiations. Speaking
through Aina, the commander said:
"You know who we are. We have
come from the eart'., which, by your
command, was laid waste. Our com
mission was not revenge but self-pro
tection. We have laid waste your plan
et, but it is simply a just retribution
for what you did with ours. We are
prepared to complete the destruction,
leaving not a living being in this world
of your*, < r to grunt you peace, nt
your choice. Our condition of peace Is*
simply this: All resistance must cease
"Nothing that we could now do,"
continued the commander, "would in
my opinion save you from ultimate de
struction. The forces of nature which
we have been compelled to let loose
upon you will complete their own vic
tory. Hut we do not wish unneces
sarily to stain our hands further With
your blood. We shall leave you in
possession of your lives. Preserve them
if you can. But, in case the flood re
cede before you have all perished
from starvation, remember that you
here take an oath, solemnly binding
yourself and your descendants for
ever never agnin to make war upon the
I need not describe in detail how our
propositions were received by the Mar
tian monarch. He knew, and his ad
visers, some of whom he had called in
consultation, also knew tbat every
thing was in our hands to do as we
pleased. They readily agreed, there
fore, that they would make no more re
sistance and that we and our electrical
ships should be undisturbed while we
remained upon Mars. The monarch
took the oath prescribed after the
manner of his race; thus the business
was completed. Hut through it all
there had been the shadow of a sneer
lon the Emperor's face which I did not
like. But 1 said nothing.
And now we began to think of our
return home, and of the pleasure we
Should have In recounting our adven
tures to our friends on the earth, who
wot., doubtless eagerly waiting for
news from us, We knew they had
been watching Mars with powerful
telescopes, and we were also eager to
learn bow much they had seen and
how much they had been able to guess
of our proceedings.
But a day or two at least would be
required to overhaul the electrical
ships and to examine the state of our
provisions. Those; which we haei
brought from the earth, it will be re
membered, had been spoiled and we
had been compelled to replace them
freim the' compressed provisions found
in the Martians' storehouse. A new
supply, however, wemld be necessary
in order to curry us back to the earth.
At le;nst sixty days would be required
for the homeward journey, because we
could hardly expect tei start from Mars
with the- same initial velocity which
Aye had be en able to generate on leav
ing home.
In considering the matter of pro
visioning the- ileet it finally became
necessary to take nn account of our
| losses. This was a thing that we had
| all shrunk from, because they had
seemed te, us almost too t nible to be
borne. But ne,w the facts had to be
' faceel. Out e,f the hundred ships, car
! rying something more than two thou •
isand souls, with which we had quitted
the earth, there remained only fifty
five ships and 1,085 men! All the oth
ers had been lost in our terrific en
counters with the Martians, and par
ticularly in the first disastrous battle
underneath the clouds.
Among the lost were many men
whose names were famous upon the
earth, and whose death would be wide
ly deplored when the news of it was
received upon their native planet.
Fortunately this number did not in
clude any of those whom I have had
occasion especially to mention In the
course of this narrative. The venera
ble Lord Kelvin, who notwithstanding
his age and his pacific disposition,
proper to n man of science, had be
haved With the courage and coolness
of a veteran in every crisis: Monsieur
Moissan, the eminent chemist; Profes
sor Sylvanus P. Thompson, and the
Heidelberg professor, to whom we all
felt under special obligations because
he hud opened to our comprehension
the charming lips of Aina—all these
had survived nnd were about to return
With us to the earth.
It was not with very good grace that
the Martian Emperor acceded to out
demands that one of the storehouses
should be opened, but resistance was
useless and oi course we hud our
The supply of water which we
brought from the earth, owing to «. pe
culiar process invented by Monsieur
Moissan. had been kept in exceedingly
good condition, but it was now running
low and it became necessary to replen
ish it also. This was easily done from
the Southern Ocean, for on Murs, since
the leveling of the continental eleva
tions, brought about many years ago,
there is comparatively little salinity in
the sea waters.
While these preparations were going
on, Lord Kelvin and the other men of
science entered witli the utmost eager
ness upon those studies, the prosecu
tion of which had been the principal
inducement loading them to embark on
the expedition. But, almost all of the
face of the planet being covered with
the flood, there was comparatively lit-
tie that they could do. Much, how
ever, could be learned with the aid of
Aina from the Martians, now crowded
on the land about the palace.
The result of these discoveries will
in due time appear, fully elaborated In
learned and authoritative treatises
prepared by these savants themselves.
1 shall only call attention to one, which
seemed to me very remarkable. I have
already said that there were astonish
ing differences in the personal appear
ance of the .Martians, evidently arising
from differences of character and edu
cation, which had impressed them
selves on the physical aspects of the
We now learned that these differen
ces were more completely the result of
education than we had at first sup
Looking about among the Martian!
by whom we were surrounded, it soon
became easy for us to tell who were
the soldiers and who were tbe civilians,
simply by the appearance of their
bodies, and particularly of their heads.
All members of the military class re
sembled to a greater or less extent,
the monarch himself in that those
parts of their skulls which our phre
nologists had designated as the bumps
of destructiveness, enmbativeness and
so on were enormously and dispropor
tionately developed.
But among the civilians there was
an almost infinite variety of cranial
development instead of tho uniformity
that characterized the soldiers. In
their bodily appearance they did not
differ so very much from one another,
but the expression of the countenance
and the shape of the head formed the
index to character.
In some the development of the re
flective faculties had produced pre
cipitous brows that seemed too heavy
for their owners to carry. It would
would have driven a phrenologist crazy
with delight to pass about among these
people and see the marvelous shapes
that their heads had assumed.
And all this, as we were assured,
was completely under the control of
the Martians themselves. They had
learned, or invented, methods by which
the brain itself could be manipulated,
so to speak, and any desired portions
of it could be specially developed,
while the other parts were left to their
normal growth. The consequence was
that in the Martian schools and col
leges there was no teaching in our
sense of the world. It was all brain
The youth who was Intended for a
soldier had his fighting faculties es
pecially developed, together with those
parts of the brain which impart cour
age and steadiness of nerve. He who
was Intended for scientific investiga
tion had his brain developed into a
mathematical machine, or an Instru
ment of observa'on. Poets and llter
rary men had their heads bulging
with the imaginative faculties. The
heads of Inventors were developed into
a still different shape.
"And so," said Aina. translating tor
us the words of a professor in the Im
perial university of Mars, from whom
we derived the greater part of our in
formation on this subject, "the Mar
tian boys do not study a subject; they
do not have to learn it, but, when their
brains have been sufficiently developed
in the proper direction, they compre
hend it Instantly, by a kind of divine
But among the women of Mars we
saw none of these curious and to our
eyes monstrous, differences of develop
ment. While the men received, in ad
dition to their special education, a
broad, general culture also, with the
women there wus no special education.
It was all general in its character, yet
thorough enough in that way. The
consequence wus that only female
brains upon Mars were entirely well
balanced. This was the reason why
we invariably found the Martian
women to be remrrkably charming
creatures, with none of those physical
exaggerations nnd uncouth develop
ments which disfigured their mascu
line companions.
One word of explanation may be
needed concerning the failure of the
Martians, with ail their marvelous
powers, to invent electrical ships like
those of Mr. Kdlson and engines of de
struction comparable with our disinte
grators. This failure was simply due
to the fact that on Mars there did not
exist the peculiar metals by the com
bination of which Mr. Edison had been
able to effect his wonders. The theory
involved in our inventions was perfect
ly understood by them, and had they
possessed the leans, doubtless they
would have been able to carry it into
practice even more effectively than we
had done.
After two or three days all the pre
parations having been completed, the
signal wits given for our departure.
The men of science were still unwilling
to leave this trange world, but Mr.
Edison decided that we could linger
no longer.
Our fleet was assembled around the
palace, and the slgnul was given to rise
slowly to a considerable height before
Imparting a great velocity to the
electrical ships. As we slowly rose we
suw the immense crowd of giants be
neath us. with upturned faces, watch
ing our departure. The Martian mon
arch und all his suite hod come out
upon the terrace of the palace to look
at v The sigaal to increase our
speed was given and in a short time we
were beyond the Martian atmosphere,
and once more rapidly speeding
through Ihe boundless ocean of ether
toward the earth.
When at length we once more saw
our native planet, with its well re
membered features of land and sea,
rolling beneath our eyes, the feeling of
joy that came over us transcended all
powers of expression.
In order that all the nations which
had united in Sending out tho expedi
tion should have visual evidence of. its
triumphant return, it was decided to
make the entire circuit of the earth
before seeking our starting point and
disembarking. Brief accounts in all
known languages, telling the story of
what we had done were accordingly
prepared, and then we dropped down
through the air v- til again we saw the
well-loved blue dome above nur heads,
and found ourselves suspended directly
above the white-topped cone of Fusi
yama, the sacred mountain of Japan.
Shifting our place toward the north
erst, we hung above the city of Tokol
dropped down into the crowds
had assembled to watch us, the
prepared accounts of our journey,
which, the moment they had been read
and comprehended, led to such an out
burst of rejoicing as it would be quite
impossible to describe.
We shifted our course slightly
toward the south as the great planet
rolled underneath us and at length saw
the gigantic Himalaya Mountains lift
ing their white peaks far below our
feet. Then came the mighty Hindoo
Koosh, and as we sailed above these
mountains, the Heidelberg professor
pointed out to Aina the Valley of Cash
mere from which her ancestors had
been carried off so many thousands of
years ago. From Asia, crossing the
Caspian Sea, we passed over Kussla,
visiting in turn Moscow and St.
Still the great globe rolled steadily
beneath, and still we kept the sun with
us. Now Germany appeared, and now
Italy, and then France, and England,
as we shifted our position first north
then south, ln order to give all tho
world an opportunity to see '.hat its
warriors had returned victorious from
their far conquest. And in each coun
try, as it passed beneath our feet, we
left some of the comrades who had
shared our perils and our adventures.
At length the Atlantic had rolled
away under us and we saw the spires
of the new New York.
The news of our coming had been
Hashed ahead from Europe, and our
countrymen were prepared to welcome
us. We had originally started, it will
be remembered, nt midnight, and now
again as we approached the new cap
ital of the world the curtain of night
was just beginning to be drawn over
it. But our signal lights were ablaze,
and through these they were aware of
our approach.
Again the air was filled with burst
ing rockets and shaken with the roar
of cannon, and with volleying cheers,
poured from millions of throats, as
we came to rest directly above the
Three days after the landing of the
fleet, and when the first enthusiasm of
our reception had a little passed, I re
ceived a beautifully engraved card in
viting me to be present in Trinity
Church at the wedding of Aina and
Sidney Phillips.
When I arrived at the church, which
found there Mr. Edison, Lord Kelvin,
and all the other members of the crew
of the flagship, and, considerably to
my surprise, Colonel Smith, appro
priately attired, and with a grace for
the possession of which I had not given
him credit, gave away the beautiful
But Alonzo Jefferson Smith was a
man and a soldier, every Inch of him.
"I asked her for myself," he whis
pered to me after the ceremony, swal
lowir.g a great lump in his throat, "but
sh has had the desire of her heart. I
am going back to the plains. I can
get a command again, and I still know
how to fight."
And thus was united, for all future
time, the first stem of the Ayran race,
which had been long lost, but not de
stroyed, with the latest offspring of
that great family, and the link which
had served to bring them together was
the far-away planet of Mars.
Human Nature Is Full of Ouirka
and Kicks.
"When I started out to run a car."
said the motorman as we waited at a
crossing for four or Aye people to get
aboard, "I made up my mind to be
soft nnd pleasant with the public. I
was going to be respectful, polite, and
anxious to please. I tried that policy
about two weeks and then dropped it.
1 found that the public looked upon
me as a Jay, instead of a man desirous
of pleasing. If I'm not mistaken here
comes a ease of It now."
A man with a limp came out of a
store and started to get on the front
of the cur. .When waved off he de
"What's the matter with this car
that I can't get on the front end?"
"Agin the rules," was the reply.
"But I've got rules as well as tho
Company, and I'm going to get on
here! You go to Garden Avenue, don't
"Not within a mile of it."
"You don't! Since when did they
take up the tracks, and crook them all
around the country? I took this line
to Garden Avenue only day before yeß
"You mean you took the Red Line
"And this is the Red Line."
"No, sir—this Is the Green Line. Red
Line will be the next car. Look out
for yourself, now!"
"Look here, you slab-sided old brake
twister!" shouted the lame man as he
fell back a few feet—"l'll have an eye
on you from this time out, and if neces
sary I'll buy out this whole Road to get
you bounced. The Idea of our public
servant daring to dictate to their
"You see how it goes," smiled the
motorman as he started the car. "That
man made a mistake in the car, and
he will forever hold me responsible
for It. Please look back and see if the
conductor has Ills hat on his ear and
Is lookin' as if he owned the car? Oh,
he is? Well, they git that way once
in a while and have to be taken down a
peg. The conductor rings the bell and
collects the fares, but the motorman
runs the ear. Just watch me now!"
There was a man waiting on the
corner to take the car. He had a
newspaper in his hand, and he held it
up for the car to stop. The motorman
looked the other way and did not stop
until he got the bell, half a block away.
The would-be passenger came running
after the ear, and as he reached it he
shouted at the conductor:
"Are you on this cur to pick up pas
sengers, or to gawp all over the Btreet!
That's live different limes you have
played that trick on me, and to-mor
row you'll find yourself walking tho
"I rang as soon as I saw you," re
plied the conductor.
"And it was your business to have
seen me half an hour before! Don't
talk back, sir! I'll settle your hash
this afternoon!"
"That will last Jim all day."
grinned the motorman, as he got the
bell. "As to the general public, every
man, woman and child expects to
kick aboard an electric tar. Perhap3
there's sunthin' in the current that
causes it. Hear that woman jawing
the conductor? Her Fourth Avenue
transfer Is no good for this line, and
she's tried that little game half a doz
en times. Some folks can't see why
they can't ride to Boston, Philadel
phia, Chicago, and St. Louis and back
again on a street cur ticket. Hello!
Who's this?"
"And now for some more human na
ture," said the motorman as he sound
ed the gong and rattled a grocery
wagon tiff the track. "You see that
woman waiting up there on the cross
sing. Well, you notice she's on the
wrong side of the street. She knows
it, but she won't give in. She's bound
to make the car stop on this side if
it takes twenty years to do it. I can't
do it of course, and she knows I can't,
but you'll see how she'll take on."
Up went her hand, and along to the
other side went the car.
"Why didn't you stop?" shouted the
woman to the conductor.
"Can't stop on that side," he re
"You could if you wanted to, but you
just want to spite me. I'll go to head
quarters this very day and make com
"Reg'lar programme," observed the
motorman after we had covered about
two blocks. "You'll never know what
kickers the public are until you run a
tar. Two blocks up the street we'll
come across an Italian Junk-man with
a hand-cart. He's been laying for mv
for the last month—crossing back and
forth in front of me and aching for a
collision. I'm going to smash his cart
this time and take the chances. If I
don't he'll catch me some night and
oblige me to shave one of his legs off.
See him? Now hang on and look out
for splinters!"
The man with the cart really seemed
to be waiting for the car. At any rate,
he started to push it .across the street
in a way to bring about a collision,
and the collision came. The motorman
gave her all the current and stepped
back and the cart was flung into the
air and came down a heap of splin
"You busta my carta all to bitta."
we could hear the junk-man crying as
we sped along; and for a long min
ute the motorman seemed to be think
ing deeply. Then he said:
"Had to do it in the Company's In
terest, you see. Better pay him two or
three dollars for an old cart than $500
for the loss of a leg. He'll have the
sympathy of some of the passengers,
though. Ah! it's coming!"
An oldish man with a sympathetio
face opened the door and said:
"My friend, you have brought wreck
and ruin to the hearthstone of a poor
but worthy man. I saw the whole
performance, and—,"
The bell rang for a corner, and the
car was stopped in a way to whirl the
sympathetic man around and pitch
him into a seat.
"Misplaced sympathy," smiled the
motorman. "He might have gone on
for an hour if I hadn't stopped him.
Let a big coal wagon run into me and
it's all right, but let me smash a Junk
cart and a wave of sympathy pours out
for the poor Dago. Out here, eh?
Well, if the conductor tells you to step
lively just drop a cent on the floor and
hold the car ten minutes while you
look for It. Conductors are very useful
officials, but they need a strong hand
now and then. The one I've got thinks
his breath moves the ear along, and I
have to let him know now and then
that I'm on earth."
Copyright, 1898, hy The International
Literary and News Service.

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